Fate Wins Out

Part 8

Justin sat there stunned by Stacy’s outburst. He couldn’t believe that she had known almost from the beginning that he and Brian had something going on and never said anything to them. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do next. He wanted to go to her and explain everything that had been going on, but he knew she needed her sleep. ‘What am I going to say? Is she mad? Will she understand why we kept it from her?’ His thoughts were interrupted when Brian spoke.

“Are you okay?” Brian asked with concern. He was surprised by the way Stacy barged in, but it didn’t affect him directly. She was his cousin, not his wife.

“I’m not sure. Brian, what am I supposed to say to her? I feel horrible about lying to her. And what about you? I guess your secret is out. Are you okay with that?” Justin got out of bed and started pacing around the room.

“Justin?” Brian said before being interrupted by more of Justin’s ramblings.

“Do you think she’s mad? What if she thinks it’s wrong? My God Brian, you’re her cousin! What are we going to do? What if…” Justin jumped when he heard Brian’s voice rise.

“Justin!” Brian exclaimed, trying to get his attention.

“What?” Justin asked.

“Come here.” Brian demanded gently.

Justin walked back over to the bed and laughed when Brian grabbed him and pulled him down, somehow managing to maneuver them so that Justin was on his back and Brian was stretched out on top of him.

“Calm down. What’s done is done. Now all we can do is wait till morning and see what happens.” Brian said, hoping to make Justin relax a little.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just feel so bad for everything. I feel like I’ve betrayed her in some way.” Justin said with such sadness in his voice.

Brian wished there was some way to make him feel better, but until they talked to Stacy in the morning there was nothing either one of them could do. If he was honest with himself, he would have to admit that he was a little worried, too. Stacy was the only family he had left and he couldn’t imagine losing her after finally finding her again.

“Justin, would you feel better if I went back to my room?” Brian asked, willing to do whatever it took to make Justin more comfortable.

“No. I need you here with me. Just hold me.” Justin pleaded as he snuggled against the man he loved.

“Anything for you, Justin.” Brian replied as he held Justin close. The two men finally drifted off to sleep, content in each other’s arm.

Justin woke up first but stayed where he was, just watching Brian sleep. He was overcome with emotions and had to fight to hold back the tears that were threatening. He knew deep down inside that if Stacy was really upset about the two of them they would have no future. There was no way either one of them would hurt Stacy intentionally. Then again, he didn’t know if they had a future anyway. Brian lived on the other side of the earth and even though he was semi-retired, his life was still there. He would eventually want to go back to the life he left behind and where would that leave him? Even if he wanted to move to Europe, there was no way he would leave Stacy and the baby. That just wasn’t an option. Justin was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice that Brian was awake.

“Hey. What were you just thinking about?” Brian asked, trying to find out what had Justin looking so lost.

“I was just thinking about what comes next. Where do we go from here?” Justin asked.

“I don’t know. How about we go talk to Stacy and get that over with. Then we can decide what to do next. Don’t worry, Justin. Everything will be okay.” Brian assured him before climbing out of bed. He wanted to take a shower and head downstairs as soon as possible. He felt like his life was frozen in time. He didn’t think he could go back to his old life now that he found Justin, but wasn’t sure if they would be able to go forward.

“I hope you’re right.” Justin whispered at the retreating form.

Stacy was in the kitchen making coffee when Justin walked in. He wanted to turn around and run away, but he knew that he had to face her eventually, so he sat at the table and waited for her to sit with him. She came to the table a few minutes later with a cup of coffee for each of them. Then she sat down and waited for him to say something.

“Stacy, I am so sorry about all of this. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I feel really bad about lying to you. I guess it was all such a shock to you.” Justin said, trying to avoid her eyes for fear of seeing pain there.

“I was a little shocked. I didn’t even know that Brian was gay. In fact, while I was in New York with Aunt Joanie, I tried to find out what had happened between them, but she wouldn’t tell me anything. I guess now I know.” Stacy said, still hurt that Brian didn’t come to her in the beginning.

“Yeah, he said that as soon as he told Jack and Joanie that he was gay, they disowned him. They told him that he was dead to them. He tried to stay in touch, sending a Christmas card every year with his address and phone number, but he never heard from them. It’s sad if you think about it. That’s why I never came out to my family. I have no doubt that my father would react the same way.” Justin explained, sadness etched in his voice.

“Justin, I am not upset by what has been going on between you and Brian. I knew that one day you would find someone who could give you what I never could. I was the one who was trying to push you to go out in the first place. I’m just worried about you both. I need to know how you feel about him.” Stacy said. She knew that it wasn’t really her business, but she couldn’t help but ask anyway.

“I love him, Stacy. I know it’s hasn’t even been two weeks, but I’ve never felt this way before.” Justin admitted, looking his wife in the eyes.

“Do you know how he feels about you?” She asked.

“I love him, too.” Brian said from the doorway, having walked in on their conversation. He looked over at Justin and was rewarded by a smile so bright it could light up a room. Looking back at Stacy, he could see that she was still upset with him.

“Brian, why didn’t you come to me? I would have been there for you. You wouldn’t have had to spend the last ten years alone without any family to support you.” Stacy couldn’t imagine the heartache of losing your family just because you were different than everyone else.

“How would I have known that, Stacy? My parents were supposed to love me no matter what. If they couldn’t, how would I know that you would accept me? I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest, but I would have rather just lost contact with you than have you hate me, too. I don’t think I could have handled that.” Brian admitted, feeling emotions he didn’t know what to do with. Ever since he made his way back to Pittsburgh, he was feeling things he never felt before and it was starting to take a toll on him.

“I guess you’re right. If Joan and Jack could turn their backs, how could you think I would be any different? I’m just sorry that we lost so much time together. Now, about the two of you. Have you made any decisions regarding the future?” Stacy asked, pushing aside all thoughts of where she would be if Justin moved to Europe. Since they both admitted that they loved each other, she knew that a move was a likely possibility.

“No. We haven’t really discussed the future yet. We were still trying to find a way to tell you about us.” Brian chuckled.

“Well then, I think you two have a lot to talk about. I’ll just get out of your way. Before I go, let me just say one thing. I love you both very much and I would love to see you both happy. I am still a little upset that you weren’t honest with me, but I guess I can understand why. This isn’t a typical situation for any of us. Do me a favor when trying to decide what to do next, don’t worry about anyone but each other. You two are the important ones in this. No one else matters. Whatever you decide, I will always be here for both of you. Promise!” Stacy looked at both of them for their reply.

“I promise.” Brian assured her with a smile.

“Me, too. Thanks for everything, Stacy. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Justin answered, taking his wife in his arms for a hug.

“Well, okay then. I am out of here. I’ll be back around five. Feel free to have dinner waiting for me when I get home.” She joked as she walked out the door. Brian and Justin just laughed at her as she went.

“Well, I guess we better have that talk.” Justin said as he made his way into the living room and sat on the couch.

Brian followed him into the room, determined to say what he’s been wanting to say for the last week. He had been struggling with his feelings ever since he found out Justin was gay, maybe even before then. He knew what he had to do now that he knew that Stacy was okay with them being together.

“Brian.” Justin said before Brian put out his hand up to stop him.

“Justin. Let me say what I have to first. Then you can have a turn. Okay?” Brian looked into his eyes, trying to find strength in the blue orbs.

“Okay. Go ahead.” Justin replied, worried about what Brian was going to say.

“After I came out and my parents disowned me, I promised myself to never let anyone get close to me. I didn’t think it was worth the pain when they stopped loving you. I lived my life like that for ten years and I thought I was happy. Then I found you and all that changed. You have made me feel things that I never thought I would feel. Even though we have only known each other for a couple of weeks, I know that you are the one for me. I feel like I’ve been given this one chance at true happiness and if I don’t reach out and grab it, I will regret it forever. Just say the word and I will sell No Regrets and move back to Pittsburgh.” Brian said, hoping he wasn’t opening himself up for heartbreak.

Justin sat there in stunned silence, unable to wrap his mind around what Brian had just said. Had he really just offered to uproot himself and move to the states? Was he really willing to sell his company to be with me? Justin had all kinds of thoughts running through his mind and didn’t notice the look of panic on Brian’s face until he heard him speak.

“Okay. Maybe I shouldn’t have said all that. I can see that you are uncomfortable right now. Why don’t I give you some time to think about everything?” Brian offered, as he started to walk out of the room.

“Stop right there, Brian! Don’t you dare walk out on me!” Justin exclaimed, refusing to let Brian walk out of the room.

“Look, Justin. It’s okay if you need time. I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for. We can talk about this later.” Brian said, holding back the emotions that were bubbling to the surface.

“I don’t think so. You said I would get a turn to talk. I listened to you, now you have to listen to me. Got it?” Justin asked, letting Brian know he meant business.

“Yes sir!” Brian joked, trying to ease some of the tension between them.

“I don’t know what to say. I agree that we haven’t known each other that long, but I love you, too. More than you will ever know. I guess I’m just scared. Brian, I already ruined Stacy’s life. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining yours, too. I can’t ask you to sell your company and move back to Pittsburgh for me. I would love nothing more than to have you here with me, but you can’t give up your whole life for me. I’m just not worth it.” Justin explained sadly. His heart was breaking at the thought of losing Brian, but he knew he was doing the right thing. He could see disappointment in Stacy’s eyes every time she looked at him. Disappointment that she gave up her chance at a happy life to marry him, only to be shut out later. He couldn’t handle seeing that look on Brian’s face.

“First of all, you haven’t asked me to do anything, I offered. Second of all, I’m not giving up anything. There is nothing left for me in Europe. I am already semi-retired. I only kept the company because I figured that one day I would go back and I might find I needed something to do with my time once I was home. Everything I want is right here. I never thought I would fall in love with someone. Now that I have, I just can’t walk away. I just need to know that you want me as much as I want you.” Brian said as he approached Justin.

“But, Brian.” Justin tried again.

“Do you want me here?” Brian asked directly.

“Yes.” Justin whispered, unable to deny his feelings.

“You got me.” Brian told him as he leaned in and kissed Justin with everything he had.
 

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