Under a Doctor's Care

Chapter 3

Justin was walking on cloud nine when he finally met up with Brian and the kids. His mind was racing with all the possibilities of what his new job could do for him and his son. Brian wanted to take them to a nice restaurant for lunch, but the kids objected and they found themselves in a local pizza place surrounded by loud children and video games. Justin shared his story of the interview, making sure to leave out the part where he questioned Aaron about Brian’s involvement. The atmosphere was light and relaxing when Brian finally brought up the subject of the Vineyard.

“Hey kids, Grandma and Grandpa are opening up the house next weekend and want to bring you up with them.”

“Yay, I love going to the house with them,” Amber shrieked with excitement.

“Cool Dad, but what about Jason? I don’t want to leave him alone. He’ll have no one to play with while we’re gone,” Gus said.

“Well, I spoke with Grandma last night and she invited Jason to go with you. It’s up to him if he wants to go,” Brian explained, looking over at Jason. “Jason, you’re welcome to go with them if you want to. I’m sure you’d have a great time, but you’ll be gone for four days. Does that sound like something you’d want to do?”

“Come on, Jason. Say yes. The Vineyard is a lot of fun and Grandma always lets us do whatever we want,” Gus said, trying to convince his friend to go with them.

“I’m…not…uh…sure,” Jason replied hesitantly.

“It’s okay Jason; you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. You can stay home with me,” Justin offered, noticing his son’s discomfort.

“But Jason, you have to go,” Amber cried. “It won’t be as much fun if you’re not there.”

“Now Amber, don’t try to force him. If he doesn’t want to go…”
Brian said, before being interrupted by Jason.

“I do want to go…”

“Then come with us,” Gus prodded.

“I can’t,” Jason replied angrily. “I just can’t.” With that the boy got up and ran from the table.

“I better go see what’s wrong with him,” Justin said as he started to stand.

“No, let me go,” Brian said, noting the skeptical look on Justin’s face. “Trust me; I think I know how to handle this.”

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes and saw the sincerity there. He smiled slightly and sat back down, leaving Brian to go after his son.

Brian found Jason in the bathroom, wiping at the tears that were running down his face. “Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” Jason replied. “I’m sorry I got mad like that.”

“That’s okay. We all get mad sometimes. Especially when someone is trying to make us do something we don’t want to do,” Brian assured him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to go.”

“Oh, well then what is it? Are you afraid to go away with Gus and Amber?” Brian waited until he saw Jason shake his head no. “Are you afraid of their Grandma and Grandpa since you don’t really know them?”

“No,” Jason whispered.

“Are you afraid to leave your Dad alone?” Brian saw the look of sadness appear on the boy’s face and knew he hit the nail on the head. “You know Jason, it’s only for a couple of days, and you can call him whenever you want.”

“It’s just…he was so sick. What if he gets sick again and I’m not here? I wasn’t there when my Mom got real sick and I never got to say goodbye to her. I don’t want…” Jason couldn’t finish as his tears increased and he broke into soft sobs.

“Come here,” Brian said as he pulled Jason to him. “Look Jason, what your mother had was completely different than what your father had. He’s going to be just fine. I’m a doctor so I know. He just wants you to be happy and if going away with Amber and Gus will make you happy, he’d want you to go.”

Jason’s sobs quieted as he pulled out of Brian’s arms and looked him in the eye. “Will you do something for me?”

“Sure, do you want me to go get your Dad?”

“No, not that. Will you take care of him while I’m gone? I’ll feel better knowing that he has you to take care of him,” Jason said with all the innocence of an eight year old, unaware of the danger he was putting his father in.

“Of course I will. I am his doctor, after all,” Brian teased, tweaking Jason’s red, runny nose. “Now why don’t you dry your face and we’ll go back and have some pizza.”

“Okay,” Jason said with a smile as he threw his arms around Brian in a fierce hug. “Thank you Brian.”

“Anytime Sonny Boy,” Brian replied, his voice a little choked with emotion. “Anytime.”

By the time the two made their way back to the table, the pizza had arrived. Jason told everyone his decision to go to Massachusetts and then they all dug into their pizza. Justin looked at Brian questioningly, but Brian only shook his head slightly and mouthed a later, making Justin even more curious as to what went on between them in the bathroom. After lunch they stopped by the video store and rented some movies before going back to the house. The kids wanted to go for a swim so Justin agreed to sit by the pool and watch them while Brian called the Petersons’ to let them know they were taking all three children. Before he could join the others outside, the phone rang and Brian answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey Brian, what’s going on?”

“Hey Mikey, how’s the wedding planning going?” Brian asked his friend as he dropped himself down in his favorite chair. He hadn’t spoken to Michael since the night he dragged Justin out of the club and felt bad about it.

“It’s crazy, but in a good way. How’s work?”

“Oh you know; the same. The fucking flu epidemic is finally going away so I’m back to a normal schedule for awhile,” Brian told him.

“Good, you work too hard,” Michael replied. “Listen, Ma’s throwing a dinner party for us Friday night at some fancy restaurant she heard about. Since most of my friends aren’t going to be there for the wedding, she wanted to make sure she had some kind of gathering for everyone. I know it’s kind of short notice, but you’ll be able to go, right?”

“Of course I’ll be there. It’ll be the last time I get to see you without the ball and chain around your ankle,” Brian teased.

“Asshole,” Michael laughed in response. “I’ll tell Ma to add your name to the list. I’m assuming that you’ll be coming alone, right?”

“Actually, I’d like to bring a date if it’s alright with you,” Brian replied hesitantly, surprising himself with his request.

“A date?” Michael asked in shock. “But Bri…you don’t do dates.”

“Well, it’s not really a date. It’s just…fuck it, never mind.”

“Wait, Brian what’s going on? I mean, I know we haven’t seen much of each other lately but we’re still best friends. If there’s something going on you can tell me,” Michael said.

Brian wanted to refuse, but Michael was right. They were best friends and if there was anybody on earth that he could talk to about what he was feeling, it was Michael. “Well, there’s this guy…”

“You met someone? Someone that’s not a trick?”

“Are you going to listen to me or should we just hang up now?” Brian said with annoyance.

“I’m sorry. Please, continue.”

Brian took a deep breath then began to fill his friend in on everything that happened in the last nine days since meeting Justin. Once he was done, he waited for Michael’s reaction and became nervous when he didn’t get one. “Mikey, are you still there?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m here. I’m just…speechless…I guess,” Michael stammered.

“Really? I didn’t think that was possible,” Brian teased.

Michael let the comment go by with commenting on it. He was still dumbfounded by Brian’s revelation. “So, how does Justin feel about you?”

“How the fuck should I know? I’ve never done this shit before, remember?”

“Okay, calm down. Here’s what you should do. Invite him to the dinner next week. I’ll talk to him and try to figure out how he feels,” Michael offered.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Brian replied.

“Relax, I’ll be subtle. I’ll just ask him simple questions about how you met and that sort of thing.”

“No, forget it. I’ll invite him, but I don’t want you asking him anything. You haven’t been subtle a day in your life. I’ll just figure this out on my own. And please don’t say anything about this to Deb. She’s the only person on this earth less subtle than you. Just add his name and let me worry about the rest, alright?”

“If you say so,” Michael relented. “Brian, for what it’s worth, I hope this works out for you. It’s long past time for you to find someone to love.”

“Whatever Mikey, I’ve gotta go. Call me later in the week with the exact location. Later.”

Once he hung up the phone, Brian went outside and joined Justin by the pool watching the children splash around in the water. Justin saw him approaching and waited until he was right at his side to ask him what happened in the bathroom of the pizza place.

“He was worried about leaving you. He’s afraid you’re going to get sick again and he won’t be here,” Brian said softly so the kids wouldn’t hear him.

“The poor kid. I should’ve known it was something like that. Once he realized that Daphne wasn’t coming back, he refused to let me out of his sight. Maybe going away isn’t such a good idea,” Justin replied, watching his son from afar.

“Actually, I think it’s a great idea. He needs to know that he can be apart from you and not worry about what’s going to happen while he’s gone,” Brian said. “Besides, I already promised him that I’d take care of you while he’s gone.”

“You’re going to take care of me?” For some reason, that thought thrilled Justin more than it should. “And how are you going to take care of me?”

“Well, I thought about keeping you in bed for the weekend,” Brian replied with a devilish smirk. “But it turns out that I have a dinner party to attend.”

“That’s okay,” Justin assured him. “I’m sure Jason doesn’t expect you to spend every minute with me.”

“Actually, I was thinking that maybe you could go with me.”

“Go with you? Why would I do that?” Justin asked in surprise.

“Well, I was told that I’m allowed to bring a date and this way I can keep the promise to your son.”

“Brian, you don’t have to drag me along because of Jason,” Justin replied.

“I wouldn’t be dragging you along because of Jason. I’d be bringing you with me because I enjoy your company,” Brian said softly before adding, “and I’d like for you to meet my friends.”

Justin smiled at Brian’s pronouncement. “Well, then I’d love to go,” he replied happily.

“Good, because I already told Mikey you’d be there,” Brian laughed sheepishly.

Before Justin had time to reply, Gus called to Brian and the older man walked over to the pool, leaving Justin behind with a huge smile on his face. He and Brian had a date. He couldn’t wait until Friday.

As always, the weekend flew by too quickly and Brian groaned as his alarm went off Monday morning, signaling the start of another week. He jumped in the shower and dressed for work before heading down to the kitchen. He heard laughter just outside the doorway and stopped where he couldn’t be seen and listened to Justin teasing the children. It was music to his ears. After Lindsay and Melanie died, Gus seemed to withdrawal inside himself and Brian remembered thinking that he missed his laughter most of all. Amber was really too young to understand what was happening, but the change in her brother didn’t go unnoticed. Since then Gus had healed from his loss, but hearing his laughter made him realize all he missed, not only when the girls were still alive, but since their death while he worked sixty or more hours a week. It was something that he’d have to rectify.

Justin was teasing the kids as he made their breakfast, enjoying the sight of his son having so much fun. Between losing Daphne and not having enough money to survive on, Justin had been too preoccupied to notice how serious his son was becoming. Less than two weeks in Brian home and already he noticed a vast improvement in Jason’s overall demeanor. It was just another instance where meeting Brian changed his life. He was dragged from his thoughts when Brian entered the kitchen.

“Daddy, it’s about time you got here. I was thinking that you were gonna sleep forever,” Amber said showing all the exasperation of a four year old.

“Sorry pumpkin, I was tired this morning and didn’t want to get out of bed,” Brian explained as he tweaked his daughter’s nose and then ruffled both Jason and Gus’ hair. “Something smells good.”

“The kids insisted on French Toast this morning so while you were busy lounging around in bed, I’ve been in here slaving over a hot stove,” Justin sighed teasingly.

“Justin, we have a box of French Toast in the freezer. It’s Gus and Amber’s favorite so Janet always keeps it on hand,” Brian pointed out as he reached for his mug from the cabinet.

“Dad, Justin’s is way better than that frozen stuff Janet buys,” Gus said as he plopped another piece into his mouth.

“Frozen French Toast?” Justin said as he poured some coffee into Brian’s cup. “Why even bother? I prefer to make everything from scratch. Nutritionally it’s better for you and taste wise…well, there’s no comparison.”

“Will you marry me?” Brian teased as he took his cup to the kitchen table and dropped down in a chair, stealing a piece of French toast from his daughter’s plate.

“Daddy, get your own,” Amber shrieked as she pulled her plate closer.

Justin turned back to the stove, trying to ignore the tightening in his chest caused by Brian’s words. He knew the man was joking, but hearing his mock-proposal made him wish it was real. He gently shook his head, forcing those thoughts from his mind as he turned back around and served a plate to Brian.

“Thanks,” Brian said as he dug in to his breakfast. “So what’re your plans for the day?”

“Well, I called the diner and was told that I was taken off the schedule indefinitely so I thought I’d swing by the gallery and see if Aaron wanted me to start early. I’ll just tell him that until Janet comes back, I need to leave by two so that I can pick up the children,” Justin said as he shut off the stove and began cleaning up.

“I’m sure that won’t be a problem. Just take it easy. You’re still in recovery,” Brian told him.

“Yes doctor,” Justin joked.

Sure enough, Aaron was more than pleased to have Justin begin sooner than planned and Justin spent the week trying to learn everything there was to running the gallery. Just as he suspected, he enjoyed the work and felt right at home surrounded by all the art that was adorning the walls. Aaron told him he had a knack for the business and an eye for what worked and what didn’t. On Wednesday Aaron told him about the sign on bonus, apologizing for forgetting to mention it during the interview and Justin used his lunch break to look through the paper for apartments. He found one that was close to the gallery and called the number given in the ad. He set up an appointment to take a look the following day, but decided to keep the information to himself until after he signed the lease.

On Thursday Justin used his lunch break to meet with the landlord. It was a decent sized apartment, bigger than anything he and Daphne shared during their time together and the rent was very reasonable. With the bonus he would be getting the following week, he could more than afford to move his son in, and as luck would have it, the landlord knew of the gallery and Aaron. He was more than willing to draw up the lease agreement before actually receiving the deposit. Justin floated on air for the rest of the day. Not only did he have a job that he loved, but he had a nice place for his son to live in.

As soon as Justin and the kids got home, he went to the kitchen and started preparing dinner. He wanted to make something nice for Brian after all he had done for him. He owed his recent good luck to the man and thanked God he was the one on duty the night he took Jason into the emergency room. Justin decided on making Beef Bourguignon while he was on his way home and stopped off at the store before picking up the kids. He always loved cooking with his mother when he was young, but could never afford to splurge on the proper ingredients. Now, not only did he have a little extra cash, he actually had someone over the age of six to cook for. He planned on making the most of his time at Brian’s.

By five o’clock, Justin had fed the kids hot dogs for dinner at their request so that he and Brian could have a quiet dinner, and sent them upstairs to work on their homework. At six thirty he went up and helped them get their showers and get ready for bed. By eight he was reading Amber a bedtime story. By nine thirty he had dumped the food in the garbage and went upstairs to sulk in his own room. He knew that Brian had told him about how emergencies had prevented him from making it home in time to see the children, but he naturally assumed that a phone call was made to let Janet know he was tied up. He hadn’t heard from Brian since they said goodbye that morning. Justin climbed in bed and tried to fall asleep, but his anger and hurt played heavily on his mind, making sleep next to impossible. He just had to get through the next ten days and then he and Jason would be able to move into their new place and leave Brian Kinney behind.

Brian finally walked into the house after midnight completely exhausted. There had been a twelve car pile up on the interstate and all hell broke lose just as he was getting ready to clock out and go home. He went to the phone to call Justin several times during the chaos, but something always prevented him from making the call. He felt bad about not being able to let his family know he was being held up, but that was the life of an ER doctor and there was nothing he could do about it. Around nine he finally thought he’d be able to leave, but then news came down that they had lost a little girl from the accident during surgery. Her mother was one of Brian’s patients who only suffered a minor concussion and a few abrasions. She was still in the ER, being monitored for the head trauma and Brian felt it was only right that he be there when she was told about her daughter. The woman broke down over the news and Brian sat with her for two hours until her family could drive in from out of town. It was after eleven when he finally freed himself from the devastating situation and by then he didn’t want to call the house for fear of waking Justin up.

The smells through the house lead Brian to the kitchen, hoping that there were some leftovers in the refrigerator. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and was feeling a little hungry. There was no sign of whatever Justin had cooked so Brian opted for a turkey sandwich to hold him over until breakfast. Once he was finished eating, he went to the trash to throw away his garbage and saw what he assumed was dinner laying on top. On further inspection, he realized the amount of food that was thrown away and had a sinking feeling that it was thrown out in anger. Glancing up at the ceiling as if he could see into Justin’s room from below, Brian suddenly felt bad for not getting through on his earlier attempts. He tossed his trash away and locked up the house before making his way upstairs. He stopped at Justin’s door and knocked lightly but got no response. He figured Justin was sleeping and knew he’d have to wait until morning to apologize for not calling. He slowly made his way to his bedroom and took a quick shower before dropping in bed and falling asleep immediately.

Justin listened to the soft knocking on his door in silence, refusing to let Brian know that he was awake. He had no desire to talk to the man at the moment. His anger was still pretty strong over what he felt was a complete disregard of his feelings and he wanted time to get over it before confronting the man. A simple phone call wasn’t too much to ask for.

Brian awoke the next morning and glanced at the clock, surprised to see it was after nine. He had already planned on taking a half day so that he could be home to say goodbye to the children. He knew without looking that Justin and the kids were gone, so he dragged himself out of bed and into the shower, getting ready to go back to the hospital. He wasn’t actually working the floor. He just had some paperwork to catch up on and some charts to look over before beginning his weekend. He was thankful for the easy day after the horrendous night he just had.

When he pulled into the driveway later that afternoon, he was surprised to see the Petersons’ car already there. He’d wanted to make it home before they arrived so that he could make the introductions between Nancy and Ron, and Justin and Jason. Just another reason why a doctor’s life isn’t nearly as glamorous as they make it to be in the movies. He walked through the door and heard Justin’s laughter standing out among the rest. He briefly admitted to himself that he missed it the day before, but refused to think about what he was going to do once Justin and Jason were gone for good.

“Daddy, I was hoping you were going to get here before we left. I missed you yesterday,” Amber called out as she raced towards her father.

“I missed you too, pumpkin,” Brian replied as he picked up his daughter and swung her around. “I’m sorry about yesterday. Something came up at the hospital.”

“It’s okay Daddy. We’re used to it by now,” Amber said as she scrambled out of her father’s arms, unaware of the pain her words had caused him. He hated that his children expected him to miss out on so much. He should be there for them a lot more than he was.

“Brian, you look exhausted. You need to start taking better care of yourself,” Nancy said as she kissed Brian’s cheek. “Maybe it’s a good thing that we’re taking the kids with us. You can use the quiet time to relax a little.”

Brian smiled at Nancy and shook Ron’s hand before finally making eye contact with Justin. He immediately regretted that move because all he saw staring back at him was a pair of cold blue eyes. The sight sent chills down his spine. “I have a dinner party for Michael tonight, but other than that the only thing on my agenda for the next few days is relaxing. You remember Michael, don’t you?”

“Michael…Michael,” Nancy said as she searched her memory. “Oh yes, of course I do. He was that nerdy boy you and Lindsay used to spend time with in college, right?”

Brian laughed at her description. “Yeah, that’s him; although he’s not as nerdy anymore. Linds and I finally broke him of that after graduation. He’s actually getting married in a couple of weeks. He and his partner Ben are going up to Canada to tie the knot. That’s what the dinner is for.”

“How nice for him, although it won’t be legal here, right?” Nancy said sadly. “It’s such a shame what this country has done to our rights. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Hogwash, I say.”

“Nancy,” Ron said, laying a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Don’t start that again. You almost got us thrown out of the senator’s ball because of your opinions.”

“Ronald, don’t make it sound like I started a brawl. I merely told some of those congressmen what I thought of their screwed up views on marriage. Imagine; my own daughter wasn’t able to officially marry the woman she loved because there are people out there who think it wasn’t natural. My daughter loved her partner just like any heterosexual couple. Why shouldn’t she have been able to marry legally? Why shouldn’t Brian be able to marry a man if he finds the right one?”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong, Nancy. You just need to know when to keep your opinions to yourself,” Ron said, rolling his eyes at Brian as he laughed.

“Ronald Peterson, you’ve known me for over thirty years. Isn’t it about time to face the fact that I’m never going to keep my opinion to myself?”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you,” Ron laughed.

“Anyway, we’d better get going. Brian, tell your friend Michael that we send our congratulations and enjoy your weekend,” Nancy said before turning to Justin. “It was very nice meeting you, dear. Don’t worry too much. We’ll take good care of your precious little boy.”

Ron and Nancy herded the kids out to the car and they all waved goodbye while Justin and Brian stood in the driveway and waved back. As soon as the car was out of the sight, Brian turned to find that Justin had already gone back inside. “I guess he’s still pissed,” he said to the open air.

Justin went into the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess the kids left from their afternoon snack. The house suddenly seemed so empty now that they were gone and he needed to do something to keep busy. He was standing at the sink when he heard Brian enter the room.

“I see you’re still mad at me,” Brian said as he leaned in the doorway.

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” Justin replied bitterly, keeping his back to Brian.

“I meant to call. I tried a few times but it was just so crazy last night. I was just getting ready to leave when there was a twelve car pile up. We got all nineteen casualties and I didn’t have time to get to the phone,” Brian explained.

“You couldn’t find five minutes to place a fucking phone call? It takes two seconds to say sorry, but I won’t be home for dinner,” Justin spat, trying unsuccessfully to hold back his anger.

Brian heard the anger and resentment in Justin’s voice, but instead of feeling compassion for him, it ignited his own anger. “When the fuck would you have liked me to call? While I was desperately trying to stop someone from bleeding to death or while I was holding one of my patient’s hands while she was told that her five year old daughter didn’t make it through surgery? Stop acting like a fucking neglected housewife. You’re the fucking nanny. It’s your job to be here with the kids while I’m at work. That was the deal, remember?”

Justin stepped back as if Brian had slapped him, which probably wouldn’t have hurt him nearly as much. He knew Brian was right; he was just the nanny, but he thought they had something more between them. Apparently he was wrong. “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot my place. It won’t happen again,” Justin said coolly. “Good night Doctor Kinney.”

“Justin, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” Brian said, immediately softening his tone.

“It’s okay. You’re right. I’m just the nanny. I overreacted to something that has nothing to do with me. It won’t happen again.” Justin brushed past Brian and headed for the stairs,

“Wait, you’re still going with me tonight, right?” Brian called as he followed Justin and stopped at the bottom step.

“I don’t think so. My job is to look after the children, not their father. Have a good night.”

Brian stood down at the bottom of the steps and watched Justin disappear, feeling horrible about the way the afternoon worked out. He was looking forward to spending the evening with Justin and his friends. Glancing at his watch, he saw that he didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on the current situation. He had to start getting ready for dinner. Justin and his hurt feelings would have to wait until he got home. Mikey was what he needed to focus on for the moment.

Justin waited until he heard Brian leave before giving into the tears that were threatening to fall. Hearing Brian refer to him as hired help really hurt and the sting was still radiating in his chest. He finally climbed out of bed and went downstairs, wandering around the house aimlessly. He had been looking forward to dinner all week and was sad that he had to miss it. Around seven o’clock he was just settling down to do some sketching when the phone rang. He reached for it, hoping that it was Brian calling to check up on him.

“Hello?”

“Um…hello. Is this Dr. Kinney’s residence?” The sad voice on the other end asked.

“Yes it is,” Justin replied.

“I’m trying to reach Brian Kinney. Is he available?”

“No, I’m sorry. He’s not in right now. May I take a message?” Justin asked as he got up in search of paper and a pen.

“Um…yeah…my name is Michele Turner. He treated me in the ER last night. I uh…called information to get his number. I…probably...shouldn’t have called but I wanted to…thank him. He was there when they told me…that…my little Ashley…well, she didn’t make it. I felt as if…my world fell apart…but he held my hand while…I waited for my par…parents to…get there. I just wanted to thank him…for everything.”

Justin listened to the anguish in the woman’s voice and for the first time got a glimpse of what Brian had to deal with the night before. Of course he didn’t call. He was out saving lives and trying to help people and all Justin could think about was how he ruined dinner. “Michele, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll tell Brian you called, but why don’t you try back tomorrow? I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.”

“Um…thanks. I will. Goodnight.”

Justin listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before gently replacing the phone back in its place. He felt horrible for what he had said to Brian earlier and knew he had to do something to make it up to him. Without thinking, Justin went upstairs and grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out the door. He wanted to apologize right away, before Brian thought any less of him than he already did.

Brian was sitting at the table, playing with his napkin as he thought back over the fight he had with Justin earlier. He still couldn’t believe he let his anger get the better of him. He knew that he was wrong in not calling the night before, but hearing Justin sound like the neglected housewife he accused him of being seemed to get to him. Maybe it was because it had been what he’d been thinking about for the last week and seeing Justin’s reaction reconfirmed his belief that settling down wasn’t an option for him. As long as his work kept him away from home like it did, dragging someone else into his life was unfair. He heard the sound of someone pulling out the chair next to him and looked up into Michael’s concerned face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Michael asked softly.

“Talk about what, Mikey?” Brian asked, feigning ignorance.

“Talk about why you showed up alone looking like you just killed a puppy,” Michael replied.

“Mikey, it’s your wedding dinner. Go have fun with your friends and don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” Brian tried to assure him with a fake smile.

“Now I know why you’re always honest. It’s because you can’t lie for shit,” Michael laughed. “Come on.”

Brian allowed Michael to drag him outside into the cool night air, feeling bad for dragging his friend away from a dinner in his honor.

“Okay, now out with it? Why are you here alone? Where’s Justin? And don’t tell me not to worry about it. I’m not going back inside until you tell me,” Michael told him.

“We had a fight. I got stuck at the hospital last night because of an accident and didn’t get a chance to call. He was really pissed at me this afternoon when I finally saw him and then I got really mad. You know what happens when I get really mad.”

“Shit, what did you say to him?” Michael asked, already dreading the answer.

“I told him to stop acting like he’s a neglected housewife. That he’s only the nanny,” Brian sighed.

“But he’s not, is he?”

“No, not really. At least I was hoping he was going to be more than that. I guess I blew that idea out of the water. He refused to come with me tonight. Shit, he’s not even talking to me. I fucked up once again. This is why I never even bother trying to start a relationship with anybody. Why bother getting close to anyone when I’m going to inevitably push them away?”

“Bri, maybe he just needs a little time. By tomorrow this whole thing might blow over. In fact, why don’t you give him a call now? Maybe he’ll want to join us? We’ve got the private room for another three hours with an open bar.” Michael saw Brian hesitate and continued. “Go on, you’ve got nothing to lose.”

Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, but before he had a chance to make the call, he heard the sound of Justin’s voice behind him and turned around in surprise. “Justin, what’re you doing here?”

“I...uh…needed to talk to you,” Justin replied tentatively as he glanced over at the brown haired man standing beside Brian. “But if you’re busy, I can…”

“No…that’s okay. Justin, this is my best friend Michael. Mikey, this is Justin,” Brian said as he made the introductions.

“It’s nice to meet you, Justin,” Michael said as he shook the blond’s hand.

“You too, Michael. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding,” Justin replied as he shook the man’s hand.

“Thanks,” Michael smiled before turning to Brian. “I’ll go back inside and leave you two alone.”

Justin waited until they were alone on the sidewalk before saying what he came to say. “I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier. Michele Turner called earlier to thank you for sitting with her until he parents were able to get there. She was so distraught over her little girl. I guess I really never thought about what it was you did at the hospital. You were so good to Jason and me, but we weren’t seriously injured. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to deal with people’s pain and fear. That has to come before anything else, including my dinner plans.”

“And I’m sorry I said what I did,” Brian replied.

“Why? You were right. I’m just the nanny. It’s my job to take care of the kids while you’re working,” Justin said.

“No, you’re not just the nanny. You’re a friend and I should’ve called you to tell you I wasn’t going to make it home; or at least had one of the orderlies call like I’ve done in the past with Janet. I just get so wrapped up in my patients I forget about everything else,” Brian admitted softly.

“Which is the sign of a very good doctor,” Justin smiled. “I just…I felt bad about what happened and wanted to come down and fix things instead of waiting until tomorrow. I enjoy being your friend and I don’t want to do anything to screw it up. Besides, Jason would never forgive me if I didn’t let you take care of me.”

Brian laughed at Justin’s reply. “Why don’t you come inside and enjoy the rest of the night?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Brian said as he took Justin’s hand and led him inside. As they walked into the room, Brian’s eyes immediately found Michael’s and he saw his friend give him the thumbs up. Maybe he wouldn’t screw thing up as badly as he thought he would.

Three hours later, Brian and Justin were feeling the affects of the open bar and stumbling their way over to Michael to say their goodbyes.

“Hey Mikey, we’ve got to get going,” Brian said as soon as his friend was in ear shot.

“You guys aren’t planning on driving, are you?” Michael asked as he took in their drunken state.

“It’s probably not a good idea. We’ll just hail a cab and come back tomorrow for our cars,” Brian assured him.

“Good. Give me a call in the morning and I’ll pick you both up and bring you back here,” Michael told him before turning towards Justin. “It was nice meeting you.”

“You too, Michael and thanks for having me. I had a good time,” Justin said with a slight slur.

“I can tell,” Michael teased.

Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and quickly led him out of the restaurant, desperately trying to avoid Debbie. She’d been trying to corner him all night to find out more about his date, but Brian had managed to dodge her. As soon as they were outside, Brian flagged down a cab and they crawled inside, laughing at their drunkenness.

When they finally arrived home, they helped each other into the house, clumsily locking up and turning out the lights before heading upstairs. Brian stopped at Justin’s door and turned to him, with every intention of saying goodnight. He didn’t want to take advantage of their drunken state. But suddenly their mouths seemed to find each others and all thought of leaving flew out the window. Brian wasn’t even sure who instigated the first kiss, all he knew was that in what seemed to be a few short minutes they were naked on the bed, and he was pushing inside of Justin’s warm opening, feeling like he was finally home.

Justin woke up at sunrise to a pounding in his head and a heavy arm draped across his body. It took him a few moments to get his bearings as memories of the night before flashed through his mind. He remembered going down to the restaurant to apologize to Brian, drinking and dancing at the party, then feeling complete for the first time in his life as Brian entered him. He lay quietly, staring up at the ceiling afraid to move. He was overcome was an intense fear. He was afraid that in the light of day, Brian would regret what had transpired between them. Whether he meant to or not, Brian had pointed out his place less than twenty four hours before. How would he feel when he woke up and realized that too much drinking landed him in the nanny’s bed?

“You’re thinking too much,” Brian whispered huskily, startling Justin out of his thoughts.

“You’re awake. I…I’m…we…” Justin stammered, unable to release a coherent thought.

“Yeah, we did; and it was incredible. No regrets, okay?”

Justin looked over into Brian’s eyes and saw the sincerity there. “No regrets,” he replied softly before reaching over and kissing Brian with everything he had.

By the time Brian and Justin finally made it downstairs, it was almost noon, although neither one of them were complaining. After their brief conversation as the sun rose, they made love again, this time completely sober, before falling back asleep in each other’s arms. When they woke up a second time, they talked softly about their plans for the weekend and then took a shower together. They called Michael and went back to retrieve their cars before returning home to be alone. Justin’s initial fears had been put to rest throughout the day as they spent their time together laughing and touching, comfortable with their new found togetherness. When nighttime rolled around, the only question on either of their minds was which bed they were going to sleep in. As they tried to get their breathing back to normal after an intense orgasm, Justin was the one who broke the silence first.

“Bri, where do we go from here?”

“How about the hot tub?” Brian teased, trying hard to bypass the conversation he knew they should have.

“You shit,” Justin laughed as he nudged Brian playfully. “You know what I mean. The kids are coming back in two days. What happens then?”

“I think it’s best if we keep this between us right now. Kids are funny and I don’t want them jumping to conclusions too quickly. It’s one of the reasons Amber and Gus never met anyone I dated…not that I’ve dated much. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future and I don’t want them to get hurt,” Brian explained, hoping that Justin would understand what he was saying. It was too soon for them to know whether what they had between them would go anywhere. His children were already getting attached to Justin and Jason. They didn’t need to get their hopes up of them being one big family only to lose it all down the road. They’d already lost enough.

Justin wasn’t thrilled with Brian’s response, but he knew he was right. Jason loved Amber, Gus, and Brian already. He didn’t want confuse him anymore than he already was. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” he finally said.

“Maybe it isn’t, but it’s too late now. We’ll just take it slow and keep things to ourselves until we know what it is we want,” Brian replied. “Now, how about that hot tub?”

Justin didn’t have to be asked twice as he jumped naked out of bed and ran downstairs with Brian hot on his heels. No one could predict the future, but he planned on having the time of his life while he could.

Sunday was spent the same way that Saturday was, with Brian and Justin playing the happy couple, splitting their time between conversation and making love. By the time Justin woke up on Monday morning, he knew without a doubt that he was falling in love. As he lay in Brian’s arms, listening to the sound of his breathing, he wondered what he did to deserve such happiness. During the last couple of years, he began to think that he’d never find the peace that he’d been looking for, but after a trip to the ER everything changed and he was content with the knowledge that life was unpredictable but sometimes if you wait patiently enough, dreams can come true.

Once Brian woke up, they showered together once again before getting up to start their day. Brian originally took the day off, but he received a call the night before claiming that he’d be needed after all. As he dried off and dressed for work, he smiled at Justin who was sitting on his bed watching him.

“What?” he finally asked when Justin continued to watch him silently.

“Nothing,” Justin sighed. “I was just thinking about how different things are going to be when you get home. The kids will be back and we won’t be as free to touch or kiss anymore.”

“No we won’t, but luckily they go to bed early at night. Besides, starting tomorrow we’ll both be at work all day and the kids will be in school. When we get home we’ll be busy with dinner and homework and showers. Before we know it, the kids will be sleeping and it will be daddy time,” Brian said with a smirk.

“I think I’m going to like daddy time,” Justin replied as he stood up and walked over to Brian, letting his towel drop on the way. Brian was an hour late getting to the hospital.

“Daddy!” Jason exclaimed as he jumped from the Petersons’ car and made a mad dash to his father, who had just stepped out of the house.

“Hey buddy,” Justin said as he took his son in his arms. He didn’t realize how much he missed his son until he saw his beautiful face. “How was your trip?”

“It was the best. We went to the beach and collected shell and Grandma Nancy took us to a museum and it was so cool,” Jason rambled excitedly.

“Grandma Nancy?” Justin asked, looking over at the woman as she made her way over to them.

“I hope you don’t mind, Justin. With Gus and Amber calling me Grandma, I guess it just kind of happened,” she explained sheepishly.

“Its okay, Nancy. Jason doesn’t have any grandparents of his own,” Justin assured her. “Thanks again for including him.”

“It was nothing, Justin. Your son’s a fine boy. You’ve done a wonderful job with him.”

Justin beamed at her praise before turning towards the children. He was a little surprised when both Amber and Gus hugged him, too.

“Justin, where’s Dad? He said he wasn’t going to be working today,” Gus asked.

“He wasn’t supposed to, but the hospital called him last night and asked him to go in. He promised he’d be home early and that he’d take us out for dinner,” Justin told him, ruffling the boy’s hair. He could see the disappointment in Gus’ eyes and made a mental note to talk to Brian about it.

Once Nancy and Ron were gone, the kids dragged Justin inside where they spent the next hour telling him every detail of their trip. He could see the excitement in Jason’s face and smiled as it warmed his heart. He loved seeing his son so happy and vowed to do everything in his power to keep him that way.

Brian was just finishing up on his charts when his boss walked through his door without knocking, as always.

“Hey Kinney, Marlene said you were looking for me earlier. What’s up?”

“Dr. Gleason, I wanted to be the one to tell you that before I leave today I’m giving my two weeks notice,” Brian said as he closed the chart in front of him.

“What? But why? I thought you liked it here,” Gleason replied in shock. The last thing he expected to hear was that his best physician was giving his notice. “Did you receive a better offer somewhere else? We can match whatever it is.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. If I planned on continuing my work, this would be where I stayed. I’m taking some time off,” Brian explained. “My children are growing up so fast and I’m missing it. I didn’t mind it so much when they had their mothers to take care of them, but now they’re depending on me. I have to think about what’s best for them.”

Gleason was hoping that he’d be able to talk Brian into staying on, but now he knew he didn’t have a chance. He briefly thought back to when his kids were young, and all he missed out on because of his job. At least he had Sharon to raise them and be there for them. Brian was all that his children had. “Well, I can’t say that I’m not disappointed, but I understand. Those kids you have are absolutely precious. You take the time that you need, and if you ever want to come back, just give me a call. You’ll always have a place in my ER.”

Brian was touched by the older man’s words. He stood up and reached out, shaking Gleason’s hand. “Thank you. I appreciate that. Now if you’ll excuse me. The kids were away with Lindsay’s parents all weekend and I’m anxious to get home and see them.”

“Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Gleason said as he walked out of the office.

When Brian got home, he found Justin and the kids in the pool and quickly decided to join them. They spent a few hours in the pool laughing and playing around before getting out and heading out for pizza. It was a relaxing atmosphere and if Brian and Justin had their eyes on each other more than normal, nobody noticed. Once they got home the nightly ritual began with the kids getting their baths and brushing their teeth before being tucked into bed under protest. They weren’t ready for their long weekend to end. Justin waited for about an hour after they put the kids down before sneaking down the hallway and tapping lightly on Brian’s door. He waited until he heard a soft voice call to him before opening the door and finding Brian sprawled out naked in the bed.

“I didn’t think this moment would ever come,” Brian said softly as Justin dropped his robe and walked over, joining him on the bed.

“Tell me about it. I think I’ve missed you,” Justin admitted.

Those were the last words spoken between them as their passion for one another ignited. When the alarm finally went off the next morning, both men groaned in protest, but kissed each other quickly before Justin snuck back to his room to begin the day. The rest of the week went on in the same manner, with Brian and Justin spending their evenings with the children before sneaking a little time to themselves after the kids fell asleep. It wasn’t the perfect situation at the moment, but it was the best they could do until they figured out where to go next.

On Thursday Justin sat in his office thinking about what he should do. He was supposed to drop his security deposit off at his new apartment building later that afternoon, but a part of him was reluctant to do it. He and Brian had talked the night before and Brian had assured him that there was no rush for them to leave. He admitted to enjoying both his and Jason’s presence in the house and Justin more than loved being there. Because of the missed dinner the week before, Justin never got around to telling Brian about the apartment he found and considered backing out without ever sharing the news. Maybe if things went right, Brian would ask him to stay permanently and they could be a real family. He tried to push those thoughts away and get back to work, but Aaron had taken the afternoon off and he didn’t have anything pressing to distract him. He was just about to leave his office and go find a project when the phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“The Peterson Gallery, how may I help you?”

“Hello, my name is Ryan McNeil and I’m calling from American Artist Magazine. We’re doing a feature on up and coming galleries for our summer edition and I was wondering if the Peterson Gallery would be interested in participating,” the man explained.

“Well, I’m only a manager in training right now but I’m sure that would be something we’d be interested it. Why don’t you give me a number where you can be reached and I’ll speak with my boss and get back to you,” Justin said, trying to hold back his excitement. He knew how popular the magazine was and having the gallery mentioned in it would be a big coo for them.

“Your boss; that would be Brian Kinney, right?” Ryan asked as he looked through the papers in front of him.

“Brian? No, that’s not right. I’ve only been here for a couple of weeks so I’m not sure exactly who owns the gallery, but…”

“Maybe you should’ve done your homework like I have. I’m looking at my research right now. Brian Kinney’s name is listed on the documents in front of me. It’s a matter of public record so I highly doubt my source is wrong. At any rate, speak with whoever you need to and then get back to me. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

Justin barely acknowledged the other man as he hung up the phone. He couldn’t even think straight over the buzzing in his ears. That couldn’t be right. Brian had said that he was friends with Aaron because Lindsay worked there. Lindsay Peterson. Suddenly his brain made the connection. He broke out into a cold sweat as he sat down in front of the computer and signed on to the internet. It didn’t take long to find what he was looking for. Sure enough, Brian Kinney was the sole owner of the Peterson Gallery. Apparently it was Lindsay’s gallery and when she died it was turned over to Brian. He sat there stunned as he tried to wrap his mind around the information in front of him. Brian had lied to him. Of course he’d gotten the job. Brian was the boss. Brian had called Aaron and told him that Justin was a friend. He’d been so happy to have a decent job and what seemed to be a promising future that he pushed his doubts aside and didn’t question anything. How could he have been so stupid? He got up from the desk and moved to stand in front of the windows, wondering what he should do next. He enjoyed his job and looked forward to what he planned to accomplish in the future. He also needed the money and knew he couldn’t let pride stand in the way of his son’s needs. He had to stay on, whether he wanted to or not, at least until he managed to get enough experience to find something else; something that he could earn on his own merit.

As for his relationship with Brian he also knew what he had to do there. He couldn’t be with someone who lied to him; someone he couldn’t trust to tell him the truth. Without allowing his mind to think about what he was doing, he reached for the phone and called his landlord, confirming his appointment for later that afternoon. By the time he left the gallery, Justin had managed to push Brian out of his mind and focus on what needed to be done. He dropped the security deposit off and told the landlord that he’d be moving in the following day. Then he went about his business, picking up the kids and heading home. No, not home; to Brian’s house.

Luckily the kids didn’t notice a difference in Justin and he was able to keep them entertained without drawing suspicions. He set them up in front of the TV and went in the kitchen to start dinner when the phone rang.

“Hey,” Brian said when he heard Justin’s voice on the line. “Someone called out for tonight so they need me to stay. It looks like I won’t be home until late.”

“That’s okay,” Justin replied coolly.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know,” Brian said, noticing the strange tone Justin was using. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Justin replied almost bitterly. He was trying to keep his voice emotionless, but it was hard. “I better go. The kids are waiting for me.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you later, right?”

“I’m kind of tired tonight. I think I’m just going to go to bed early. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Justin hung up the phone before the tears he felt burning his eyes had a chance to fall. He didn’t have time to break down now. He had too much to do.

It was a small relief knowing that Brian wouldn’t be home until late. It gave him time to do what he needed to do. Luckily he hadn’t unpacked most of his things so it would be easy to move. He reached for the phone and made his first call.

“Hello?”

“Hi Janet, its Justin. How’re you doing?” Justin asked casually.

“I’m good Justin, how’re you? How’re things going with the kids?” Janet asked. She hated to say it, but she missed Amber and Gus something fierce.

“Things here are good, but I’ve run into a problem and I need a favor. I know you’re not due to come back until Monday, but I was wondering if you would be free tomorrow afternoon. I have something that I have to do and won’t be able to pick Gus and Amber up after school,” Justin explained.

“Tomorrow? Sure, no problem. I can help you out. What about Jason? Do you need me to pick him up, too?”

“No, that’s okay. I’m going to need him with me. If you can just get the other two and wait for Brian to get home, that would be great,” Justin told her, feeling guilty about lying to her. Well, he wasn’t really lying; just omitting part of the story. “Thanks so much Janet. I really appreciate this.”

“Anytime. I actually missed the little rug rats,” Janet laughed.

“Yeah, they’re good kids,” Justin replied, feeling a lump form in his throat. “I better get going. Thanks again Janet and I’ll talk to you soon.”

As soon as Justin hung up with Janet, he placed his second call, refusing to let his sadness stop him from going forward with his plan.

“Hello?”

“Hey Aaron, its Justin. I’m sorry to be calling you at home but something’s come up and I won’t be able to make it in tomorrow.”

“Oh, is everything alright? Are you under the weather again?” Aaron asked in concern. If he worked the guy too hard and he had a relapse, Brian would have his balls.

“No, its nothing like that. I just have something that I have to do and it has to be done tomorrow. I’m really sorry about the short notice. I promise to make it up to you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad that it’s not your health. Take the day off and take care of whatever you have to and I’ll see you on Monday,” Aaron assured him.

“Thanks. I’ll see you on Monday.” Two calls down and one to go.

By the time Justin had finished with his third phone call he had arranged to rent a small moving truck to help him get his things to his new place. He figured that if he worked hard he’d be able to get all his things into the apartment and return the truck before he had to pick Jason up from school. He felt bad about having to pull the kids apart, but it was what he needed to do. They all knew that Justin and Jason wouldn’t be staying there for long, but he wished they’d at least have a chance to say goodbye. The rest of the night seemed to drag as Justin watched the clock. He just wanted to be able to send the kids to bed so that he could escape to his room and be alone with his thoughts.

Around midnight he heard Brian come up the stairs and pause at his door, but kept quiet so that the older man would think he was sleeping. Once he heard the footsteps rescind, he was able to breathe again but the pain in his chest from being so close to the man he loved without being with him was almost more than he could bear. He finally cried himself to sleep a few hours before his alarm went off. Knowing that Brian usually slept in after working a double, Justin quietly got the kids up and headed downstairs to fix their breakfast. He was just getting them out the door when Brian appeared looking ever so sexy with his sleep tousled hair. Justin had a brief moment of doubt about what he was doing, but pushed it aside as he reminded himself of Brian’s betrayal.

“Hey, I was hoping to catch you guys before you left. You should’ve woken me up for breakfast.”

“Justin said that you got home really late and that we should let you sleep,” Amber said as she rushed to him, hugging him tight.

Brian looked up at Justin and saw dark circles under his eyes and began to worry. The last time they were together was Wednesday night and everything seemed fine, but obviously something happened since then to upset the blond. “Why don’t you guys go get in the car while I talk to Justin for a minute? I’ll be home on time tonight and I’ll see you then, okay?”

“Brian, I really don’t have the time…” Justin began, but it was no use. The kids all raced off to get in the car leaving Brian and Justin alone in the entryway.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Brian asked once the kids were out of earshot.

“Nothing’s going on. I’m just trying to get out of here so I’m not late for work,” Justin replied emotionlessly.

“Bullshit, don’t lie to me,” Brian stated, feeling his anger rising.

Justin let out a laugh at Brian’s reply. How ironic that Brian of all people would tell him not to lie. Isn’t that what he’d been doing for the last two weeks? “Look, I don’t have time for an argument now. I’ve got to go,” he finally said as he walked away, leaving Brian to watch him in confusion.

Brian stormed back into the house, pissed at the way Justin dismissed him and totally confused by what was bothering him to begin with. He glanced at the clock and saw that he didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on Justin’s problem at the moment. He needed to get to the hospital. He’d just have to wait until after work to find out what was bothering the man.

Justin dropped Gus and Amber off first, giving them an extra long hug goodbye before pulling away and heading towards Jason’s school.

“Listen buddy, there’s been a change of plans for after school. I’m going to pick you up like always but then we have somewhere we have to be. Janet’s going to be picking Gus and Amber up, alright?”

“But why, daddy? Why can’t Gus and Amber go with us?” Jason asked from the back seat.

“Because this is something that’s just for you and me. It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll be happy with it,” Justin lied. He knew Jason was going to be heartbroken when he realizes that they wouldn’t be going back to Brian’s, but it was something that they had to deal with. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll see after school, okay?”

“Okay Dad,” Jason replied softly. He knew that his dad was upset about something. He noticed it the night before, but didn’t want to make him mad by asking about it.

Once Justin had dropped Jason off at school, he drove across town and picked up the truck, leaving his car behind. He figured it wouldn’t take more than a couple of hours to get his things moved over. He’d have just enough time to drop the truck back off and get to Jason’s school on time. As he pulled the truck into Brian’s driveway, he sighed in relief. Brian’s car was no where to be seen. The timing had been perfect. Climbing out of the truck, Justin made his way into the house and through the garage. All his boxes were still stacked neatly in the corner which made his day so much easier. After loading his things up, he went back inside and up to his room. He had spent a good part of the night packing what he had there so that he didn’t have to waste time he didn’t have. After he emptied his room, he went down to Jason’s and made quick work of gathering up his belongings. It had only taken three hours for him to wipe away any traces of their life from the house.

Once the truck was loaded, Justin took a minute to look around at the place he considered to be his home for the last few weeks. The tears that he’d been holding back broke through and he slid down the wall in the study and cried for all that he was losing. Huge, gut-wrenching sobs shook his body, but he didn’t have the energy to stop them. He knew that as soon as he picked up his son, he’d have to push away any emotions that he was feeling, but for that moment he was able to grieve without worry and that’s just what he did.

After the tears finally stopped, he stood up and walked over to Brian’s desk, pulling out the pad of paper that was kept in the top drawer. He sat down and tried to think of what it was that he wanted to say. There were so many things that ran through his head, but none of them seemed to be appropriate for what he was feeling. He finally settled on being short and to the point. Once he was finished, he left the pad out where Brian could see it and walked out the front door. He refused to look back.

As Brian walked in the door at five o’clock, a strange feeling of dread washed over him, although he wasn’t sure why. He noticed that Justin’s car wasn’t out front, but Janet’s was. Maybe he just had to work late and called Janet to cover for him. Brian heard sounds coming from the kitchen and walked in to find his children and Janet baking cookies.

“Hey guys, I’m home,” he said as he smiled at the scene before him. The kids always thrived with Janet. She was the motherly touch that they missed so much.

“Daddy!” Amber shrieked. “We’re making cookies with Janet.”

“I see that,” Brian replied. He saw the sad look Janet was giving him and knew that she knew something about what was bothering Justin. “Janet, can I speak to you for a minute?”

“Sure Brian,” Janet agreed. “Okay you two, I’ll be right back. Make sure there’s some batter left when I return, okay?”

“Okay,” the kids said in unison before Janet followed Brian out of the kitchen.

Brian walked into his study with Janet on his heels. He waited until she was inside before closing the door and turning to her in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure. Justin called me last night and said he had something to do and asked me to pick up the children. I offered to pick Jason up, too but he refused. I didn’t think anything of it until this afternoon when Gus and Amber got in the car. They were surprised to see me. I thought that was a little strange. Why wouldn’t Justin tell them he made other arrangements? When I got home I looked around the house a little. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I was just so curious. I saw that there was a note from Justin on your desk. I didn’t read it, I swear. It’s none of my business. I just have a really bad feeling about this.”

Brian looked over at his desk and saw the note that Janet was talking about. He walked over and picked it up, reading Justin’s words and confirming the thoughts he’d been having since that morning.

Brian,

It’s time to go. Thanks to you, Jason and I can finally live without the fear of being tossed out on the street. I’ll always be grateful to you for that. Please don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine. Say goodbye to Gus and Amber for me. You’re a very lucky man to have such wonderful children.

Justin

Brian read the words over and over again before crumpling up the note and tossing it in the garbage. Without saying a word to Janet he walked out of the room and headed upstairs, pausing at Justin’s door before opening it and walked inside. He looked around at the emptiness and then flopped down on the bed. That’s where Janet found him a few minutes later.

“Brian?” she said softly.

“He’s gone.”

Janet could hear his anguish in those two words and her heart went out to the man. She wasn’t sure what had happened between them but anyone who had spent more than two minutes in their presence knew that there was something between them that was special. She didn’t know what caused Justin to leave, but she said a silent prayer that whatever it was, it could be corrected. “I’ll go down with the kids. Take all the time that you need. I don’t have anywhere that I have to be.”

Brian waited until Janet was gone before reaching for the phone. He quickly dialed the gallery and waited patiently until Aaron picked up.

“The Peterson Gallery. How may I help you?”

“Where is he?” Brian barked.

“Brian? Where’s who?” Aaron asked in confusion.

“Justin, who the fuck do you think I’m talking about? Where is he? Is he there?”

“Brian, Justin’s not here. He called me last night and asked for today off. He said he had something he had to take care of. Isn’t he there with you?”

“Aaron, if he was here, why would I be calling? Did he put in a change of address by any chance?” Brian was losing his patience.

“Um…not that I know of. Let me check the computer.” Aaron went to the employee files and looked up Justin’s name, but the only address listed was Brian’s. “No, he hasn’t changed anything. What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Brian sighed. “If you hear from him, tell him to fucking call me.”

Aaron heard the line go dead and sat down at the desk with a sigh. “Oh Justin, what have you done?” he said to the empty room.

It was almost nine o’clock at night and Justin still couldn’t get Jason to talk to him. As soon as they’d gotten to the apartment that afternoon and Justin explained that it was their new home, Jason threw a fit and locked himself in his room, refusing to come out. Justin had hoped that he’d take the move better than he had, but there was nothing he could do. This was their life now and his son would just have to get used to it. After all the energy it took to move as well as the emotions he’d been fighting all day, Justin was exhausted and eventually drifted off to sleep on the couch.

Jason was starving. He hadn’t finished his lunch at school and had been in his room…the room…ever since they’d gotten there. It wasn’t his room, it wasn’t his home. He refused to call it that. How could his dad do this to him? He’d never even gotten a chance to say goodbye to Brian, Amber, and Gus. When his stomach started growling really loud, he slowly opened the door and peaked outside. He looked down into the living room and saw that his dad was asleep on the couch. The coast was clear. The first thing he did was sneak down into the kitchen and grabbed an apple out of the fridge. He was hungry but didn’t want to make anything that would cause him to wake up his dad. On his way out of the kitchen, he stopped by the end table and picked up the phone, and then hurried back to the room. Luckily he remembered Brian’s number from when he called his dad while he was away. He took a few bites of his apple before dialing Brian’s number. He just hoped the man was there.

“Hello?”

“Brian…uh…it’s Jason,” Jason said hesitantly.

“Jason, I’m so glad to hear from you. Where’s your dad?” Brian asked, trying to keep his excitement to himself.

“He’s sleeping on the couch. I snuck out of my room to get something to eat and saw the phone. I wanted to call you…because I…miss you.” Jason used the back of his hand to wipe away his tears. His apple was completely forgotten.

“I miss you too, sonny boy. Where are you?”

“Dad says it our new home, but I don’t like it here. I told him that your place was our home, but he said it wasn’t anymore. He said that you were just being nice letting us stay there but now we had to live on our own. I don’t want to, Brian. I like it there with you and Amber and Gus.”

“I know, Jason. We liked having you and your dad here, too. Listen to me. Just do what your dad says for a few days until I can talk to him, alright? In the mean time, you can call here whenever you want. Don’t worry. I’ll straighten everything out,” Brian assured him, hoping that he’d be able to keep his promise.

Brian spent the rest of the weekend trying to figure out what sent the blond running. Amber and Gus were upset when they found out that Justin and Jason were gone, but Brian promised them he’d do what he could to bring them home. By Sunday afternoon he was climbing the walls and needed to get out for a bit. He called Nancy, who was more than willing to spend a few hours watching her grandchildren, and dropped them off at the Petersons’ house on his way to Woody’s. There he downed a few drinks and replayed the last few days with Justin in his head, but still couldn’t come up with a reason for his departure. What he did come up with was his true feelings for Justin. Somehow, in the span of a few weeks, he had fallen in love with the man and his son. He laughed to himself when he thought back to the conversation he had with Lindsay after she’d met Mel. She’d been certain that it was true love right from the beginning. He’d laughed at her and told her there was no such thing as true love. God, how wrong he’d been. If only she was there to help him get Justin back. But she wasn’t, and Brian knew he’d have to find a way to do it on his own.

It was pretty late when Brian finally picked up the kids and brought them home. Amber had fallen asleep in the car and Brian had to carry her up to bed. He carefully laid her down in bed and took off her shoes, choosing not to wake her up from her peaceful slumber. Gus was still awake and after kissing his daughter on the forehead, Brian headed into his son’s room to say goodnight. He was surprised to find him sitting up in bed waiting for him.

“What’s wrong, sonny boy? Can’t sleep?” Brian asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Dad, why’d Justin leave? Did you do something to make him mad?” Gus asked, sounding older than his seven years.

“I’m not sure, Gus. He never said anything to me. Did he happen to say anything to you?” Brian knew it wasn’t right to quiz his son but he needed any information he could get his hands on.

“Come on Dad, I’m a kid. Nobody tells me anything around here,” Gus laughed. “But I did notice he seemed kind of upset on Thursday.”

“I noticed that, too. Was it because I had to work late, do you think?”

“No, that wasn’t it. He was upset when he picked us up from school. Amber and Jason didn’t seem to notice it, but I did. Then after we were all in bed, I went to his room to talk to him. I thought maybe he wasn’t feeling good or something,” Gus explained, trying to gage his father’s reaction.

“What did he say?”

“I didn’t talk to him. I went to his door and was gonna knock when I heard a strange sound coming from inside. It sounded like he was crying and I didn’t want to bother him so I just went back to my room.” Gus looked away before looking back at his father. “Maybe if I talked to him he wouldn’t have left.”

“No Gus, this has nothing to do with you. Justin’s a grown man and if something was bothering him, he should’ve come and talked to me about it. There was nothing you could’ve done,” Brian assured him. He didn’t want Gus feeling guilty for whatever happened.

“You love him, don’t ya Dad,” Gus said quietly, startling Brian out of his thoughts.

“What makes you say that?”

“I saw you guys the other night,” Gus replied. “I woke up to go to the bathroom and saw a light under your door. I thought you were still up and I wanted to remind you that I needed money for the book fair at school the next day so I went to your room. I saw you both in there sleeping. I remember Mommy and Mama always slept together. They said that people who love each other sleep together. Does that mean that you love Justin?”

Brian wasn’t sure how to respond. They had agreed to keep their relationship a secret from the kids until they were sure of where it was going, but neither one of them expected Gus to go snooping through the house in the middle of the night. “Gus, from now on I don’t want you wandering around when you’re supposed to be in bed. If you have to go to the bathroom, then go, but get right back in bed, alright?” Thoughts of what he could’ve walked in on played through Brian’s mind and made him shutter.

“Okay Dad,” Gus promised. “You never answered me. Do you love him? The way Mommy loved Mama?”

“Yes I do,” Brian replied without hesitation. What was the point of denying it? His son was obviously a chip off the old block when it came to his intuition. “Now you better get to sleep. You’ve got school in the morning.”

Gus snuggled down under the blankets and watched his father walk towards the door before asking him one final question. “You’re going to make him come home, right?”

Brian turned around and looked at his son, fighting the emotions that hearing the word home stirred up. “I’m gonna try, Gus. I’m gonna try.”

Justin watched his son jump out of the car and run towards the school before sighing in frustration. It had been a long weekend of trying to unpack and get everything organized while trying not to be hurt too much by his son’s silent treatment. Jason had barely spoken to him all weekend and the added stress on top of his broken heart made Justin want to scream at the top of his lungs at the unfairness of it all. After making sure that Jason walked inside, Justin pulled away and headed for the gallery, praying for an easy day. He should’ve known better. The minute he walked in the door, Aaron was right in his face.

“Alright Taylor, you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t think I know what you’re talking about,” Justin replied innocently as he walked past the man and headed towards his office.

“Don’t give me that innocent routine. Brian called here on Friday night and nearly took my head off. What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry about that, Aaron. He had no right to do that,” Justin said. “Nothing’s going on. Brian gave my son and me a place to live for a couple of weeks until I could find a job and get on my own two feet. Well, I have a job now so it’s time to move on.”

“So you moved out without telling him?” Aaron asked incredulously. “After everything he’s done for you?”

“You mean like giving me a job at HIS gallery?’ Justin spat, watching closely at Aaron’s reaction. “I know all about his position here at the gallery.”

“Justin, it’s not what you think,” Aaron began, seeing the pain in Justin’s eyes. “I told you on the day of the interview that Brian told me to only hire you based on my thoughts. He didn’t order me to give you the job.”

“I wish I could believe you, Aaron. I really do, but come on. He’s the boss. What else are you supposed to do when the owner tells you he has a person perfect for the job? A friend of his who’s down on his luck. If I didn’t need this job so bad, I would have walked away when I learned the truth. Unfortunately I have a son to think about and he comes before my pride. So unless you plan on firing me over this, I have no intention of leaving. But my private life is just that; private. I would appreciate it if you honored that.”

Before Aaron had a chance to answer him, the phone rang, pulling both men out of their thoughts.

“You can answer that, and if it’s Brian, tell him I’m busy.”

Aaron watched Justin walk out of the office before reaching for the phone, knowing exactly who it was.

“The Peterson Gallery, how may I help you?”

“Aaron, did Justin show up this morning?” Brian asked immediately.

“Yeah, he’s here,” Aaron sighed. “But he told me to tell you he’s busy.”

“I don’t care what the fuck he said. Put him on the phone,” Brian barked, losing what little bit of patience he had.

“I’m sorry Brian, but I can’t do that. You’re the boss, but I can’t be put in the middle of this. I’m already in enough trouble as it is.”

“What the hell happened?” Brian asked as he tried to calm himself down.

“He somehow found out about your connection to the gallery. He thinks you’re the reason he got the job,” Aaron explained.

“But that’s bullshit. I told you to do what you thought was best. I knew you would hire him without my recommendation. Shit!”

“Brian, I knew keeping your ownership from him was a bad idea. You should’ve been honest with him from the beginning. He’s so mad right now, I don’t know if he’ll ever give you the chance to explain.” Aaron could here the anguish in Brian’s voice and felt bad for him. “You’ve really fallen for this one, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I have. What the fuck am I going to do?”

“Give him some time. Let him get past the anger he’s got and then try talking to him again. Maybe a little time apart will make him see how much he misses you,” Aaron suggested.

“I guess there’s not much else I can do,” Brian said sadly. “Do me a favor and keep an eye on him? He doesn’t really have anyone else and I don’t want…” Brian’s voice trailed off as he thought of Justin and Jason alone in the world.

“I will Brian, I will. He’s a good kid. I can see why you feel the way you do about him. Take care of yourself and kiss the kids for me. I’ll talk to you soon,” Aaron said before hanging up the phone and walking over to the windows to look out at the dark cloudy skies.

Justin stood outside the office, leaning against the wall as silent tears ran down his face. He knew he shouldn’t have been listening to Aaron’s phone conversation, but he couldn’t help it. Somehow knowing that Brian was on the phone made Justin feel closer to the man. Despite the fact that he walked away, he still loved Brian and his heart ached with want and need. He just hoped he would be strong enough to stay away. He had to stand by his decision because he knew that if he went back and then something came between them down the line, he wouldn’t survive a break up a second time. He was barely surviving the first one.

It had been a little over two weeks since Justin had moved out and Brian was still trying to get through his days without going crazy. Only now it was harder because his resignation kicked in over a week ago and Brian had nothing to fill his day with while the kids were in school. Thoughts of Justin were never far from his mind and it took everything in his power to keep him from storming the gallery demanding that he listen to reason. One of the only things that kept him a little sane was the calls he got from Jason. The boy managed to call Brian a couple times a week and kept him up to date on what was happening in their lives. Between Jason and Janet, Brian knew that Justin was doing okay.

Brian had been surprised when Janet had confided in him that Justin had called her about watching Jason on occasions when he was needed at the gallery in the evening. Janet never told Justin about Brian’s resignation. She just told him that she didn’t mind putting in the extra hours for him. She claimed that she refused to get in the middle of their problems, which was why she refused to give Brian Justin’s address and telephone number. Brian didn’t mind. He could walk in to the gallery and get the information out of the computer if he wanted to. He just decided to follow Aaron’s advice and give him his space. He just needed to be patient.

On a Friday night about three weeks after the move, Brian was sitting home alone nursing a bottle of beer when the phone rang. He assumed it was the kids calling to say goodnight. They’d gone back to the Vineyard with their grandparents and Brian was feeling lonelier than ever.

“Hello?”

“Brian, it’s Aaron,” Aaron said, forcing his voice to stay even. “Are you alone?”

“Actually I am. The kids are with Nancy and Ron this weekend. What’s up?”

“I don’t want to alarm you, but you might want to get down to the hospital,” Aaron said calmly.

“The hospital? Why? What happened?” Brian was suddenly on his feet and heading towards his wallet and keys.

“It’s Justin. I think…I think he’s gonna be alright. You just might want to come down here,” Aaron explained. “I’m here in the waiting room now.”

“I’ll be right there.” Brian hung up the phone and raced from the house, praying to God that Justin was going to be okay.

After breaking every traffic law possible, Brian stormed into the waiting room ten minutes later, his eyes immediately finding Aarons.

“What the fuck happened?” Brian demanded ignoring the looks he was getting from everyone else in the room.

“I’m not exactly sure. We were working late, trying to get ready for next weeks showing. It’s his first one and he was so excited about it. He went out back to take out some trash. He was gone so long that I finally went out to see what was wrong. I found him lying unconscious by the dumpster. The police think it was a simple mugging. I rode over here in the ambulance with him and called you as soon as we got here,” Aaron explained, his voice shaking as he had flashes of Justin’s body lying so still. “I’m sorry, Brian. I shouldn’t have let him go out there alone.”

“It’s not your fault,” Brian said as he stood there stunned. “Has anyone come out here and told you anything?”

“No, I’m still waiting.”

“Okay, this is what I want you to do,” Brian said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “Take my car and go to Justin’s place. Tell Janet what happened and have her pack a bag for Jason and bring him to my house. I’ll call you both there as soon as I know anything, alright?”

Brian waited for acknowledgement before turning away and walking right through the double doors and up to the nurses’ desk. Being a former staff member had its privileges.

“Stacy, I need to know where Justin Taylor is. He was brought in by ambulance a little while ago.”

“Dr. Kinney…I mean Brian, how’re you doing?” Stacy asked as he chewed her gum and batted her eyelashes at Brian.

Brian rolled his eyes at her attempted flirtation. He never liked the girl. “Stacy, Justin Taylor? Where is he?”

“Brian, I’m glad you’re here,” Betty said as she came up behind Brian. “As soon as I saw Justin’s name on a chart I tried calling you at home. I guess you were on your way here. Come with me. He’s in bed number 5.”

Brian sighed with relief as he followed Betty down the hall. “How is he?”

“Dr. Henry’s treating him. He’s got a concussion and has been in and out of consciousness. He took a pretty bad beating, but nothing life threatening. We’re just getting ready to send him up for x-rays, but you have a few minutes to see him before he goes.” Betty stopped outside the room and looked at Brian. “It looks worse than it is.”

“Thanks Betty,” Brian said before taking a deep breath and walking inside. His eyes immediately took in the battered body lying motionless on the bed and he gasped at the sight. On shaky legs, Brian walked over to the bed and took Justin’s hand in his. Justin stirred and his eyes fluttered open at the contact.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Brian asked softly.

“Like someone kicked my ass,” Justin replied in a raspy voice. “Brian, what’re you doing here?”

“Aaron called me as soon as he got here,” Brian explained as he reached up and brushed a stray stand of hair off Justin’s forehead. “I got here as fast as I could.”

“You…didn’t have to do that,” Justin told him. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, you look it,” Brian laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “I sent Aaron to your place to let Janet know what happened. I’m having them bring Jason to my house. I’ll keep him until you’re released.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. They don’t need to keep me here. I’m okay,” Justin said with as much conviction as he good, but then let out a small groan, belying his words.

“Justin, you’re not going anywhere right now and by the looks of things, it could be days before you’re even capable of taking care of your son. Now just lie still and relax. I’ll take care of everything,” Brian assured him.

Before Justin had time to respond, Betty walked in, followed by an orderly. “Okay Justin, it’s time to take you down for x-rays. I’m sure Brian will be here when you get back, right Brian?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Brian promised as he squeezed Justin’s hand.

Justin wasn’t sure if he was comforted by Brian’s words or terrified by them. He walked away from the man three weeks ago, but still longed for him more than ever. He didn’t think relying on him again was a smart thing to do, but he really didn’t have much of a choice. Jason needed someone to take care of him; at least until he could get out of the hospital, and Justin knew how much he missed Brian and the kids. Resigned to his fate, he mumbled a thank you just before being wheeled out of the room.

Once Justin was gone, Brian walked out of the room and back to the nurses’ desk where he saw Dr. Henry standing looking over a chart. “Hey Dave,” he said as he sided up alongside the other man.

“Brian, what’re you doing here? Did you miss us that much?” Dave teased.

“Not likely,” Brian joked back. “I’m here with Justin Taylor. How’s he doing?”

“Whatever asshole did this to him should rot in jail. The good news is that he’s going to be okay. I think he’s got a couple of cracked ribs, which we’ll see on the x-rays, but other than that he’s a lucky man. They said it happened outside the gallery. I take it he’s an employee of yours?”

“He’s actually…” Brian’s voice trailed off as he tried to come up with an explanation but realized he wasn’t exactly sure what Justin was to him anymore. “We’re close.”

“Oh, I see. Well he’ll be in x-ray for awhile. It’s been a crazy night. Why don’t you go get a cup of coffee and I’ll meet you in his room once I get the results back.”

“Okay, thanks,” Brian replied. He went to the cafeteria and got himself a cup of coffee then went outside and called Janet, filling her and Aaron in on what was happening. Jason was confused by why he was brought to Brian’s, so Brian spent a half hour carefully explaining what happened and calming the boy’s fears. By the time he made it back to the room, Justin was just being wheeled in from x-ray.

“I talked to Jason. He’s upset but I assured him you’re okay and that seemed to settle him some,” Brian explained as he pulled up a chair alongside the bed. “Look Justin, I…”

“Brian, can we not talk about this now? I’ve had a really bad day,” Justin began, smiling slightly to take some of the sting out of his words. “I’m not really up to a serious conversation right now.”

Brian nodded his head in understanding and reached out, taking Justin’s hand in his. “Okay, but we will be having this conversation as soon as you’re up to it.”

Dr. Henry came in a short time later and smiled at the sight of Brian holding on to Justin’s hand. “How’re you feeling, Justin?”

“Better now that the drugs kicked in,” Justin laughed weakly.

“I bet. The x-rays showed that you have three cracked ribs. I want to keep you here overnight for observation, but I see no problem with sending you home tomorrow provided you take it easy for a least a week or two. You’re going to be sore for awhile,” Dr. Henry said as he made some noted in Justin’s chart.

“Doctor, I can’t stay here tonight. I have a son at home who’s really upset. He hasn’t had it easy lately and I don’t want him to think the worst,” Justin replied, struggling to sit up despite the pain in his chest.

“Justin, I understand your concern, but I don’t feel comfortable sending you home in your condition. You have a concussion and need to be monitored for the next twelve to twenty-four hours,” Dr. Henry replied.

“But…”

“What if I took him home with me?” Brian suggested, ignoring the startled expression on Justin’s face. “I’m more than capable of watching him.”

“Are you sure, Brian?” Dave saw the determined look on Brian’s face and smiled. “I guess I have no objections then. He’ll probably get better care with you than here. I’ll get Betty to put together a supply kit and then I’ll sign his discharge papers and release him to your care. Justin, you’re a lucky man. Take it easy until you’re feeling better and don’t overdue it, alright?”

“Thank you, doctor,” Justin replied quietly. His brain was still trying to wrap itself around what just happened. He was going back to Brian’s. The one place he swore he’d never be again. He waited until the doctor was gone before turning his head to look at Brian. “You don’t need to watch over me. I can take care of myself.”

“What, and give you another chance to disappear? I don’t think so, Justin. You heard the doctor. He’s releasing you to my care and you know how serious I take my job. I guess you’re stuck with me,” Brian said with a smirk. “I’m going to go call Janet again and let her know we’ll be home soon.”

Justin watched Brian walk away and sighed in frustration. He didn’t want to be under Brian’s thumb again, but at least he’d be able to see Jason and reassure him that he was okay. Betty walked in a few minutes later with a bag of what Justin assumed was supplies, a pair of scrubs, and a smile.

“Okay Justin, I rustled up something for you to wear home since the paramedics had to cut you out of your clothes. Where’d Brian disappear to?” she asked as she helped Justin sit up.

“He went to call my sitter and let her know that we’ll be leaving soon.” Justin felt a dull ache throughout his body and was glad for the pain killers that were making his movements tolerable.

“Dave told me that he was releasing you to Brian’s care. He’s a good man. We really miss him around here.”

Justin froze at Betty’s words. “Miss him? He’s not working here anymore?”

“Oh no, he gave his notices weeks ago. He wanted to be home to spend more time with the kids,” Betty explained. “You didn’t know that?”

“No…I…uh…we haven’t really seen each other in awhile,” Justin stammered. “We kind of had a little disagreement.”

“Well that explains it,” she replied.

“Explains what?”

“Where those dark circles under his eyes came from. Not to mention his less than charming disposition during his last week here. He just about bit everyone’s head off. Now sweetie, I don’t want to pry, but take it from someone who’s probably old enough to be your grandmother. Find a way to fix things between you two. It’d be a shame to lose someone who loves you like he does.”

“But he doesn’t…”

“Doesn’t he?”

“Okay, now let’s get you out of here,” Brian said as he walked through the door, oblivious to the conversation that he walked in on. He looked back and forth between Betty and Justin and sensed that something was going on. “Did I interrupt something?”

“Not at all. I was just helping Justin get ready, but now that you’re here, I’ll leave that to you and go find a chair.”

Brian watched Betty walk out and looked over at Justin, who seemed lost in thought. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m not sure,” Justin mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing, I um…need a little help with this,” Justin said, holding up the shirt Betty brought him, effectively changing the subject.

As soon as Brian and Justin walked through the door, Janet was at their side with a horrified look on her face.

“Oh Justin, what did that asshole do to you?”

“Not that asshole, those assholes, but I’m fine. Really,” Justin assured her with a small smile.

“There was more than one?” Brian asked, hearing that detail for the first time. He’d been too worried about Justin to ask what’d happened earlier.

“Yeah, there were two of them. I’m really okay, though. A little sore, but nothing a few days of rest won’t take care of. Where’s Jason?”

“Oh, the poor kid fell asleep on the couch. I tried to get him to go upstairs but he refused to go until you got home,” Janet said. “I put you bag upstairs in your room…I mean the spare room.”

Justin ignored the slip. “Thanks Janet. They took my wallet so I don’t have any money on me, but I promise to get you a check as soon as I can.”

“Oh dear, don’t you worry about that. Consider this one free of charge. Now I better get going. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thanks Janet,” Justin replied. “For everything.”

“Oh there’s no need to thank me. You’re like part of the family. I’m just so happy you’re alright.” Janet reached out and hugged Justin carefully, her eyes tearing up with emotion. “Oh Brian, before I forget. The kids called earlier to say goodnight. I told them that Justin had a little bit of an accident. I didn’t want to scare them, but there was no other reason I could come up with for my being here. They want you to call them tomorrow and let them know how Justin is. Gus also wanted me to remind you of a promise you made to him. Do you know what he’s talking about?”

Brian thought back to the conversation he had with Gus and smiled. He promised to try to bring Justin home. Well, he followed through with that promise. Now all he had to do was find a way to keep him there. “Yeah, I know what he meant.

“Good, because I’m going to make sure you keep it,” Janet said with a gleam in her eyes. She had gotten Gus to confide in her and she laughed when he explained the conversation Brian had with his son. “I’ll come by tomorrow and check up on you two. Maybe even take Jason out for a little while. The poor kid could use the distraction.”

Once Janet was gone, Brian led Justin into the living room where Jason was sleeping. Justin carefully walked over to his son and ran a hand through his hair, pulling him out of his sleep.

“Daddy, is that you?”

“Yeah buddy, it’s me,” Justin said softly.

Jason sat up, rubbing his eyes and looked over at his father. “Are you alright? Brian said that a bad man hurt you. Why’d he do that, Daddy?”

“I don’t know, buddy. Some people are just mad at the world and take it out on others,” Justin said, giving him the best excuse he could come up with for a six year old. “Why don’t you go on up to bed now? We can talk more in the morning.”

Jason looked at his father and hesitated for a minute. He wanted to hug him, but he was afraid of hurting him.

Brian could see the question and confusion in Jason’s face and knew what he was thinking. “Jason, I’m sure your dad could use a hug right about now. Just go easy and you won’t hurt him, alright?”

Jason nodded at Brian and then gently wrapped his arms around Justin, whispering in his ear. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, buddy,” Justin replied, his voice choked with emotion.

Brian stood back and watched the scene before him, fighting back his own emotions. Now that they were home, his brain was beginning to register what had happened and how close he came to losing Justin for good. He was more determined then ever to make sure that didn’t happen. He cleared his throat, forcing away the lump of emotion that was building there and reached a hand out to Jason.

“Okay sonny boy. Come with me and I’ll tuck you in.”

Justin watched Brian and his son walk away before giving into his emotions and letting the tears fall. His mind kept flashing back to earlier as he lay on the ground while two strangers in dark clothes repeatedly kicked him while he begged for his life. Jason was the first person that came to mind during the horrific experience, but Brian was there, too. He had a brief thought of never seeing the other man again and it tore his heart to think about all he would miss. As soft sobs overtook his body, he thought about what Betty had said in the hospital as one question kept replaying over and over again in his mind. Did Brian really love him?

Brian tucked Jason into bed and sat with him until the boy fell asleep. He’d been really shaken up by what happened to his father and Brian did his best to sooth him into sleep. Once he was sure that he could walk away unnoticed, Brian made his way back to Justin and found him with his face buried in his hands, sobbing softly. His heart broke at the sight and he quickly walked over and sat down alongside of him, taking him in his arms.

“Shhh…it’s alright. You’re alright,” Brian murmured softly.

“Why Brian?” Justin asked as he pulled back and looked up into Brian’s eyes. “Why is everything so hard? I’m doing the best I can but every time I try to move forward with my life, something or someone is always pushing me back. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Brian felt Justin’s pain down to his toes but didn’t know what to say. As he sat in the hospital waiting for Justin’s release, he’d wondered the same thing. How many times was life going to kick the beautiful blond while he was down? “You’re one of the strongest people I know and every time you get knocked down, you’ll just pull yourself back up until you finally find the happiness you’re looking for.”

“I thought I did,” Justin whispered. “I thought I already found what I was looking for.”

“Then maybe it’s just a matter of holding on tight and not letting go,” Brian replied feeling his own cheeks damp with tears at Justin’s admission.

No more words were said as Brian helped Justin up the stairs, but instead of taking him to the guest room, Brian steered him to his own bedroom. Justin looked up at him with question in his eyes, but Brian just smiled tentatively and continued down the hallway. Once they were inside, Brian helped Justin strip down to his underwear and then climb into bed. He planned on leaving the blond alone, but the tightening on his arm assured Brian that he was needed. He stripped himself down and climbed in alongside Justin and took the blond in his arms where they lay in the darkness and drifted off to sleep.

Brian was woken up a short time later to the sound of Justin calling out in his sleep. He quickly reached over and turned on the light just as Justin woke up with a scream.

“Shhh…it was only a dream,” Brian said as he once again took Justin in his arms.

“But it wasn’t a dream. It was real,” Justin cried as he tried to seek comfort in Brian’s arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Justin nodded slightly and then let Brian turn off the light before settling them back down before he began.

“It was dark out, so I couldn’t see much. I had just thrown a garbage bag into the dumpster and turned to go back inside when two guys came out of the darkness. I couldn’t see there faces, but I could tell by looking at their posture that they were trouble. I tried to walk past them, but one of them shoved me back into the dumpster. I called out for help, but all I heard was their laughter. I was so scared. Everything happened so fast after that. I remember being on the ground, feeling their kicks over and over again and wishing that I would die, just so it wouldn’t hurt anymore. Than I thought about Jason and how much he needed me and knew I had to fight back. I managed to reach out and hit one of them in the groin. He fell to his knees and I thought ‘good, you bastard’, but that just seemed to anger his friend. I felt a few more kicks and then they just disappeared. I called out for you. I know it sounds stupid but I just knew that if you were there everything would be alright. I must’ve passed out after that because the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital.”

Brian tightened his grip on Justin slightly as he listened to Justin tell the events of what happened. “It’s not stupid. I wish I was there for you.” Brian took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the gallery, but I knew if I did you wouldn’t even apply for the job and I knew you’d be perfect for it. I didn’t want you to pass up an opportunity because you thought you were only getting it because I’m the boss. I may own the place, but only because Lindsay left it to me. I have no connections to anything there. Aaron runs it all himself. I haven’t even been there in months. He hired you based on your interview. Not because I told him to.”

“I know. He’s been telling me that over and over again. I guess it was just so hard to believe that something like that could really happen to me. Running a gallery ranks right up there with winning the lottery for me. I’ve always wanted to own my own one day and when the opportunity presented itself, it just felt too good to be true. But you’re right. If you had told me that you owned it in the beginning, I would’ve refused. You’ve done so much for me already. I just wanted to do something on my own. Can you understand that?”

“I do understand, but sometimes it’s okay to accept help. Especially from someone who loves you,” Brian said softly, holding his breath while he waited for Justin’s reaction.

Justin felt the tears start again at Brian’s admission. “Oh Brian, I love you, too. The last few weeks have been horrible. I felt like I was walking around in a fog. I missed you so much, but I had already walked away and was afraid that if I called you, I’d do something stupid like thrown myself at your feet and beg you to take me back. It would have destroyed me if you turned me away.”

“I wouldn’t have turned you away. I was just following Aaron’s suggestion and giving you some time. Another couple of weeks and I would’ve stormed into the gallery and demanded you come home,” Brian laughed.

“Home?”

“Yes, here. This is your home. It’s where you and Jason belong. It hasn’t been the same here without you,” Brian admitted. “Will you come home?”

“I already did,” Justin replied without hesitation. Being in Brian’s arms was home, no matter where they were.

“Thank God,” Brian sighed in relief. “I made a promise to Gus and I hate going back on my promises.”

“Gus?”

Brian laughed and then filled Justin in on his conversation with Gus. It was amazing how light and carefree he felt now that Justin was back in his arms; right where he belonged.

Justin smiled as he listened to Brian’s story. He had missed Gus and Amber almost as much as he missed Brian and couldn’t wait to see them again. Eventually he got around to remembering what he learned at the hospital and asked Brian about it.

“Betty told me you left the hospital. Why?”

“I realized how much I was missing out on being away from home so much. Not only did I want to be here for the kids, but I wanted to be here with you. I hated those nights I missed dinner with my family because of work. It’s not like I need the money. I have more than enough to keep me going. I gave notice on Memorial Day, but never got around to telling you about it. I planned on telling you that weekend, but you were gone by then.”

Justin heard the sadness in Brian’s voice at the reminder of his leaving and knew he needed to say something to distract him. “So you’re a stay at home dad now? I can’t picture someone as driven as you sitting at home gardening,” he teased.

“Me neither, that’s why I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of weeks and came up with an idea of something to keep me out of trouble. I figured I’d run it by you, first,” Brian said.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Well you see, I happen to own an art gallery and I thought that I could try my hand at that. I have a terrific manager in place, but if we worked side by side, it would give him time to work on his true passion; his art. He’s going to be famous one day.” Brian hesitated for a moment and when Justin didn’t respond, he figured the idea didn’t appeal to him. “Or I could just find a hobby.”

“You really have that much faith in me?” Justin asked tearfully.

“And more. Just promise me that you’ll give the Peterson Gallery rights to your first show,” Brian replied.

“Of course I will. Considering I am one half of the management team and my significant other is the owner, where else would I go?” Justin smiled.

“Significant other? I was thinking more like husband,” Brian said shyly. “That is, if you think you’d want to marry me. I happen to know of this place in Toronto where men can get married. It isn’t legal in the United States yet, but who knows what could happen in the future.”

“There’s nothing to think about. Yes, I will marry you,” Justin cried happily, wondering how one of the worst nights of his life turned into the best.

“Can we seal that with a kiss? If I don’t taste you in the next thirty seconds, I think I’m going to explode,” Brian laughed.

“We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” Justin teased before leaning in and placing his mouth on Brian’s, silently giving the older man all he had to offer. It was a rocky start for them, but Justin finally felt like he had found what he’d been looking for and taking Brian’s advice, he planned on holding on tight and never letting go.


Two years later…

Justin stood alongside the far wall of the gallery, watching all the people milling about and admiring his work. He glanced down at the ring on his figure and knew that he was experiencing the second happiest day of his life. The first one was almost two years earlier when he, Brian, and the kids flew up to Canada for their wedding. It was the perfect ceremony and despite the fact that it wasn’t recognized in Pittsburgh, Brian and Justin both took their vows seriously. They had done exactly what they planned on doing on the night of the attack. Brian started working at the gallery, determined to learn everything he could about the business and the art scene. They worked together side by side with a lot of help from Aaron until Brian was comfortable with the operation. Then Justin switched to working half days and spent the other portion of his days locked away in the studio Brian created for him in their home. He worked diligently; putting everything he had into his work and was pleased with the outcome. He finally felt comfortable enough to call himself an artist and with the looks of the way his first showing was turning out, other people did, too. He sold out all but one painting. The portrait of Brian, Gus, Amber, Jason, and himself. That one wasn’t up for sale. He was so lost in thought that he never heard anyone approaching him and was startled slightly when he felt familiar arms wrap around him from behind.

“Be careful. My husband’s around here somewhere and doesn’t like when other people man-handle me,” Justin teased as he sank back into those strong arms.

“That’s right. No one man-handles you but me,” Brian replied huskily in his ear. “What do you say we get out of here and go home to celebrate in peace? Aaron promised to handle it from here and lock up.”

“Promise to man-handle me?” Justin asked innocently as he turned in Brian’s arms.

“For the rest of our lives,” Brian promised. And Brian Kinney never broke a promise.


The End
08/03/05

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