Under a Doctor's Care

Chapter 1

Plot bunny from Carmina

Brian was absolutely exhausted. He'd been working non stop in the ER department at Allegheny General, trying to pick up the slack for the three doctors who were struck by the flu that was going around the city. Two of them were due to return the following day and Brian couldn't wait. He hadn't been able to spend any time with his children all week, leaving them with his housekeeper/nanny for most of the day. By the time he returned home at night, Gus and Amber were already sound asleep. He'd promised them at breakfast that morning that he'd take them to the park that afternoon, but he hadn't been able to get away. He called them at dinner time to apologize, but at seven and five, they didn't understand the meaning of responsibility and job duties. He'd have a lot of sucking up to do when he finally got to see them again.

He'd just finished his dinner, if that was what anyone could call the cuisine that the cafeteria served to its staff, when the night charge nurse came in.

"Dr. Kinney, I hate to interrupt you dinner break, but you have a patient waiting for you in exam room four."

"That's okay, Betty. I'm finished here anyway. What do we have?" Brian asked as he tossed his garbage out and followed the nurse out of the small break room.

"Jason Taylor, age six. He's got the classic symptoms of the flu; runny nose, chest congestion, dry hacking cough. His blood pressure is normal, his temp is 102. His father claims a lack of appetite and restlessness," she explained as they approached the exam room.

"Thanks Betty, I'll take it from here." Brian walked into the room, barely glancing at the man who stood alongside the bed. His first rule when treating children was to focus on them first so that they felt as comfortable as possible in the hospital setting.

"Hey there, little man. I hear you're not feeling well. Is that true?"

"Uh huh, I feel yucky," the boy replied quietly.

"Well, then you're obviously in the right place. Helping people who feel yucky is my specialty. Why don't you tell me where it hurts?"

"Right here," the boy said, pointing to his head. "And here," he added, moving his finger to his throat.

"Okay, I'm going to take a look in your ears and throat, then listen to your heart and lungs. Is that alright? I promise it won't hurt a bit," Brian assured him gently.

"Kay," Jason nodded.

Brian took a few minutes to examine the child before agreeing with Betty's diagnoses. Jason had the flu. "Okay Jason, this is what we're going to do. Nurse Betty is going to give you a dose of medicine and a cup of juice, and then I want you to rest for a bit. I'll come back in a little while and as long as that fever is down, your Daddy can take you home, provided that you promise to take all of the medicine I'm going to prescribe. Is it a deal?" Brian held out his hand.

"It's a deal," Jason giggled, shaking the doctor's hand to seal the deal.

"Good, I'll see you in a little bit." Brian ruffled the boy's hair affectionately before turning to his father. "He's got the flu that's going around. I'm going to prescribe an antibiotic to be taken three times a day. Also, I want him to drink plenty of fluids. If his fever comes back or if his symptoms worsen, I want to see him back here immediately. The nurse will be here soon with that medicine. Any questions?"

Justin shook his head, mentally trying to figure out how he was going to not only pay the hospital bill, but pay for the prescription, too. He didn't have any insurance and he as down to his last fifty dollars, which he planned on using to buy some food to get him and Jason through the weekend. After that, it really wouldn't matter anyway. They were about to be evicted from their small apartment and wouldn't have a kitchen to put food in anyway.

Brian saw the far away look in the man’s eyes and just shook his head. He'd seen enough disinterested parents in the past to recognize them at first glance. Well, Jason obviously wasn’t being abused and he seemed to be well cared for. There was nothing Brian could do other than to treat his illness and release him. He walked down the hall and gave Betty his orders before sneaking outside for a cigarette. Luckily the ER had been rather slow for a Thursday night and he could allow for a quick break between patients.

Justin was still lost in thought when Jason called to him, bringing him back to the present.

"Daddy, does that mean that I'm not going to die? I don't want to die like Mommy did."

Justin's heart broke hearing the fear in his son's voice. "Oh Jason, you're not going to die. You've got the flu. What Mommy had was very different. You're a healthy little boy and you're going to live a long, long time."

"Good Daddy, cause I don't to die and leave you all alone," Jason replied just as Nurse Betty walked in carrying a medicine cup and a cup of juice.

"Okie dokie, Jason, I have the medicine that Dr. Kinney ordered. Now I need you to take it like a big boy. Can you do that?"

"I can, I can. I am a big boy. I'm six whole years old," Jason said, holding up his hands to show six fingers.

"Wow, that old, huh?" Betty chuckled at the boy's antics. She looked over at the boy's father and noticed for the first time how tired he looked. It must be hard taking care of a sick child. She noticed on the admittance papers that he was a widow. He barely seemed old enough to have a six year old let alone be a widow. "Mr. Taylor, I'm going to stay with Jason while he drinks his juice. Why don't you take a few minutes to maybe get some fresh air? We'll be fine while you’re gone."

Justin hesitated, but then decided to take the nurse up on her offer. He could use a little bit of fresh air at the moment. He kissed Jason's head and promised to be back soon, before leaving his son in the nurse’s capable hands. As he walked past the admissions desk, he heard the woman behind the desk call him name and turned to face her.

"Mr. Taylor, you forgot to fill out the insurance part of the admissions form," she said in a snooty tone.

"I didn't forget. I don't have insurance. I was hoping that you'd send me the bill so that I could make payment arrangements," Justin replied, feeling less than human under the woman's glare.

"Mr. Taylor, payment arrangements are supposed to be made 24 hours prior to admittance."

"I'm sorry. Next time my son gets sick, I'll tell him he has to wait 24 hours before seeing a doctor. Will that satisfy you?" Justin spat, turning on his heel and walking through the door.

His whole body was shaking at the audacity of the woman. It was an emergency room. How was anyone supposed to know of an upcoming emergency 24 hours in advance? As the cold air began filling Justin's lungs, he couldn't hold back the coughing fit that rattled through his chest. The flu that Jason was suffering from settled in on Justin the week before, but there was nothing he could do but wait it out. He couldn't afford to seek medical attention for himself. He'd do anything for Jason, but his own health had to be put on the back burner until he could come up with a solution to his financial problems. As he struggled to get his breath, he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Your son isn't the only one who should be treated," Brian pointed out as he watched the younger man struggling to breath. "How long have you been coughing like that?"

"About a week," Justin gasped. "But it's nothing. I'm fine."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Brian offered as he steered Justin back inside.

"Look, really it's no big deal. I'll just get my son and we'll be on our way."

Brian led Justin back into his son's room and turned his attention to Betty. "Betty, I want you to run a complete blood work up on Mr. Taylor here. And why don't you take Jason down to the doctor’s lounge and let him watch a little TV while I examine his father?"

"Dr. Kinney, I've already told you..." Justin's voice trailed off as he watched his son being led out of the room by the nurse, who was apparently trained to follow orders. "I told you before, I'm fine."

"Pneumonia is not fine, which is what I suspect you have. If you don't want to seek medical help for yourself, do it for your son. You can't take care of him if you don't take care of yourself," Brian said, using what he hoped was a father's love against him.

"I...uh...I can't afford it, alright?" Justin finally admitted with embarrassment. "We don't have insurance and I'm still trying to figure out how to pay for Jason's visit and prescription."

Brian saw the sincerity in Justin's face and thought back to his childhood and how hard it was for his mother to pay the bills while his father drank away their money. "Well, lucky for you we're running a two for one special tonight. Just let me give you a quick check up and have Betty check out our sample cabinet. I'm sure we can find you something there." Seeing his hesitation, Brian continued. "Otherwise you're won’t get any better and end up hospitalized or worse."

Justin knew that the doctor was right and finally gave in with a nod of his head.

"I'll be right back," Brian told him before walking out of the exam room. He walked down to the lounge and found Betty and Jason sitting in the empty room. "Betty, I need to speak to you for a moment."

Making sure that Jason was engulfed in the cartoon she had found, Betty walked into the hallway with Brian. "What's up?"

"Listen, I still want you to do the work up on Mr. Taylor, but process the bill as cash and give it to me. Also, look though our samples and see what you can find there. I'm pretty sure that he's suffering from a mild case of pneumonia so it's going to have to be something strong."

"Are you sure?" Betty asked.

"Yeah, Mr. Taylor refused to be examined because of lack of insurance and money, but I can't have him taking his son home when he's too sick to care for him. I'm going to examine him now and then I'll come back and sit with Jason while you do the tests." Brian walked away before turning back to Betty. "Oh, and lets keep this between us, alright?"

"You got it, Doc," Betty smiled in response.

Brian smiled back and then continued down the hallway back towards Justin.

Two hours later, Justin was finally ready to leave. Armed with free samples for both him and Jason, he zipped up his son's coat and turned towards Betty. "Thank you, Betty. I appreciate all you've done for us. And could you tell Dr. Kinney I said thank you, too?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Taylor. Take care of yourself and that special little boy you've got there."

"Thanks, I will."

Justin carried his sleeping son out to his car and secured him in the back seat before climbing in behind the wheel and turning the ignition. It took a few tries for the junker to start, but eventually the old engine turned over and they were on their way. As soon as they reached their small apartment, Justin once again carried Jason upstairs and somehow managed to get him changed and settled into bed without waking him up. He kissed his much cooler forehead and turned out the light before walking into the living room where he collapsed on the couch without bothering to pull out the bed. The tiny one bedroom apartment wasn't the nicest of places, but it had been affordable and available when Justin had needed it, so it did the trick. But that was a couple of years ago when he still had a little money left from Daphne's life insurance policy. Now that it was all gone, along with the small savings he had, time was running out. The landlord was by earlier in the day and gave him until Monday to be out before he changed the locks and physically threw them out.

Justin sighed as he thought about how different his life could've been if not for one tiny mistake he and Daphne had made six years ago. Not that he considered Jason to be a mistake. He was the best part of his life, but his birth was the reason that neither he nor Daphne had ever finished high school, let alone gone on to college. And once Justin's father found out that he was not only an expectant father at the age of seventeen, but gay too, he disowned his son and never looked back. Now the only job Justin was able to hold down was a busboy position in a local diner. The pay sucked, but it allowed him the flexibility to be home when Jason got of school. He was hoping to move up to waiter soon, but it wouldn't be soon enough to help stop the eviction. Now, on top of everything else, Jason was sick and Justin was going to have to call out of work for the following day, losing a whole day’s worth of pay in the process.

He felt his world falling apart when the phone rang, pulling him for his dismal thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Justin, its Cody."

Justin cringed at the voice on the phone. Cody was one of the waiters at the diner, but Justin never really liked him all that much. He was trouble and never tried to hide his less than stellar morals, but Justin was always nice to him just so the work place remained somewhat bearable. "Hey Cody, what's up?"

"Listen, I figured I'd call you first. A friend of mine had to go out of town for the weekend because of a family emergency and we're short a dancer at the club for Saturday night. I know you're a little low on cash. Are you interested?"

Justin thought about the offer. Cody worked part time at some seedy gay strip club and had been urging Justin to seek employment there since they met, but Justin always refused. Not only did he object to stripping for cash, but he didn't have anyone to watch his son at night so he could work. If he did, he would've tried getting a better paying job in the first place. "Sorry Cody, but Jason is sick and I have no one to watch him."

"Look Justin, I really need the help. What if I can get my little sister to baby sit for you? She's sixteen, but she's been baby sitting for our neighbors for years. She knows what she's doing."

Justin thought about refusing, but knew he didn't have a choice. Cody had told him in the past that a night in the club usually brought in about 300 dollars and Justin was in no position to turn down the money. "Alright. If she's willing, I'll do it. Give me a call tomorrow and let me know. I'll be here since Jason can't go to school."

"Cool, thanks man," Cody replied before hanging up.

Justin placed the phone back in its cradle and couldn't help but feel he just made a date with the devil, but what other choice did he have? Jason was his first priority and he needed the money to keep a roof over his head. After getting up to take the medicine that Dr. Kinney had given him, Justin fell back down on the couch in exhaustion and pushed away his troubled thoughts, letting sleep overtake him.

 

~~~@~~~
 

Brian was finally getting ready to leave the hospital. He had stayed on through the graveyard shift and was anxious to get home and see his kids before they went off to school when Betty stopped him in the hallway.

"Whatever it is, Betty, save it for Monday. I have it on good authority that Steve and Rob are back in today and I have the weekend off."

"I know and I'm sure you're ready to run out of here. I just wanted to give you the bill for Justin Taylor. I was afraid to leave it in your box in case someone else saw it over your long weekend."

"Thanks Betty. You're the best. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go home and see if my kids remember who I am. I'll see you next week," he said as he walked towards the exit.

"Enjoy your weekend, Brian," Betty called after him.

"I plan to," he called back before walking out the door.

He quickly walked to his car and climbed in, laughing at his irrational fear of being called back inside for an emergency. As he drove towards home, his cell phone rang and he reached into his pocket and grabbed it, smiling at the number on the display.

"Hey Mikey, what's up?"

"Brian, you are impossible to get a hold of. Do you know that?" Michael whined into the phone.

"No shit, Mikey. Just ask the kids. That is if they remember who I am. This fucking flu that's going around not only has the hospital filled with patients, but has half of our staff out, too. I'm finally off for the weekend after putting in over seventy hours this week. All I want to do is see Gus and Amber, then sleep for the next three days," Brian replied, fighting back a yawn.

"Well, sleep today because we have plans for tomorrow night," Michael told him.

"We do? I don't recall making plans, Mikey," Brian sighed. "What are you planning on dragging me to this time?"

"Well, since Ben and I decided to go up to Toronto to get married, the gang wants to throw us a bachelor party. It's in some seedy strip club out by the interstate. We tried to get out of it, but you know them. You're my best friend so you have to suffer along with me," Michael laughed.

Brian wanted to refuse. He hadn't been into the club scene since he became a full time dad and even before then he wasn't into seedy, but Michael was right. Being his best friend required him to be there. "What time tomorrow night?"

"Thanks Brian," Michael said then gave Brian the information.

Once they hung up, Brian thought about finding a good excuse to bail out, but decided against it. He could do this one little thing for his friend since he wasn’t able to get away for the ceremony. He’d show up, have a couple of drinks, and then make his excuses and leave. It was as simple as that.

Brian walked in his house just as the kids were finishing up breakfast.

“Daddy!” Amber called out as soon as she spotted her father in the doorway. “I didn’t think you’d ever come home.”

Brian put out his arms just in time to catch his energetic five year old. “Hey there, Princess. I’m sorry I’ve been away so much but some of the other doctors were sick and I had to help out. I couldn’t leave all those sick people without a doctor, could I?”

“Why not? You left us without a father,” Gus said bitterly. At seven and a half, his attitude was growing more and more everyday.

“I’m sorry, buddy. How about if I take you guys out to the park after school? I don’t have to be at work until Monday,” Brian said, hoping to find some forgiveness.

Gus looked at him skeptically, but then broke out in a smile. “Can we toss the ball around?”

“Of course. What else is there to do at the park?” Brian smiled at his son.

“The swings, Daddy. We have to go on the swings,” Amber sang with excitement.

“We’ll go on the swings, too. I promise.”

Just then Janet walked in, preparing to get the kids off to school. “Dr. Kinney, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go on up and get some sleep while I drop these two off at school. I have some errands to run so it should be pretty quiet around here.”

“Thanks Janet that sounds like heaven,” Brian sighed. “I’ll see you guys after school, alright?”

“Okay Daddy,” Amber agreed as she jumped out of her father’s arms and ran to get her book bag.

Gus hung back, waiting until his sister was gone to say what he wanted to say. “Dad, I’m sorry about what I said before. I was being mean.”

“It’s okay Sonny Boy, I haven’t been around much lately, but hopefully that’s over now. Being a doctor sometimes means giving up a lot to do the job, but it pays the bills so I have to do it,” Brian explained. “Now run along to school so I can get some sleep and be ready for the park.”

“Okay Dad, I love you,” Gus replied, giving Brian a quick hug before running to go get his bag.

Brian waited until Janet and the kids left before walking through the empty house. As he looked around the spacious rooms, he couldn’t help but think back to Justin Taylor and his financial problems. At 34, Brian didn’t have to worry about money anymore. Aside from the very comfortable living he made, he also had money stored away from the law suit he filed against the city for their negligence which had caused the accident that took Melanie and Lindsay’s life. Their life insurance was split in two and put aside for the kids’ college education, along with a nice nest egg for them to start their lives with. If they handled things properly, they wouldn’t want for much when they reached adulthood. He wanted to make sure that both his children had a better life than he had while he was young. Not that things hadn’t worked out well for him in the end. He had worked his ass off for everything he had and was proud of his accomplishments. He still couldn’t believe that he was a single father, though. After two years, it was still hard to fathom that the girls were gone and he was left to be both mother and father to his kids; kids that he never imagined having until Lindsay approached him about donating his sperm. He had his doubts in the beginning, but now he couldn’t imagine his life without them.

He sighed, pushing away all the thoughts that were plaguing him and slowly made his way upstairs and into his bedroom. He had just enough energy to strip down to his underwear and crawl into bed before sleep overtook him.

He awoke hours later, with just enough time to shower and dress before picking the kids up at school. He took them to the park as promised, then out for pizza and a movie before finally heading home. It had been a nice day and Brian was more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. He looked forward to spending the rest of the weekend with Gus and Amber before the daily grind started up again on Monday. The following day was more of the same. He took the kids to the museum and for a picnic lunch at a lake that was only an hour’s drive from the city before finally driving them home so that he could get ready for his night out with the boys. He’d given Janet off the afternoon before so that she would be willing to work on her day off. He thought again about backing out of the club, but in the end he dressed in his favorite faded jeans and t-shirt and headed out earlier than expected.

When he arrived at the club, Michael’s description of seedy rang in his mind as he took in his surroundings. The place was dirty and smelled of stale smoke and sex, and it took everything in his power to stick around and wait for his friends. He had been early and was the first one there so he ordered himself a beer and sat at the bar, waiting for the others to arrive. Suddenly the lights dimmed and two men, obviously dancers, appeared on the small stage. It only took a moment for Brian to recognize the shock of blond hair and realize who it was that he was seeing. He sat there in stunned silence while Justin Taylor began dancing around on the stage, and despite the fact that it was none of his business, Brian felt a sense of overwhelming anger towards the man. He was in the hospital two nights before with a serious case of pneumonia as well as a sick son, and there he was, stripping for all of gay Pittsburgh to see.

Without thinking about the consequences, he stood up and stormed towards the stage, climbing the stairs and dragging the blond towards the exit. He could hear the protests, not only from the blond, but from his co-workers as well as the patrons, but he didn’t care. He just knew that he couldn’t sit by while Justin stripped and put his body on display for a room full of losers. He held on to the younger man’s arm firmly and he pulled him out of the club and through the parking lot, finally coming to a stop at his car.

“Get in,” Brian demanded.

“Dr. Kinney, what the fuck are you doing?” Justin spat in anger. “You can’t just drag me away from…”

“I said get in!” Brian repeated a little louder, interrupting Justin’s protest.

Justin could see the anger in Brian’s eyes and glanced back at the club before following instructions and getting in the car. What choice did he have? He couldn’t very well go back inside after the spectacle they made upon their exit.

Once Justin was in the car, Brian closed the door and went around to the driver’s side and got in, starting the engine in silence. He was trying desperately to get a grip on his anger as he drove through the city streets unsure of where he was going. At least his friends hadn’t shown up yet. It was going to be hard enough to explain his actions to Justin, let alone to his friends.

“I’m waiting for an explanation,” Justin finally said.

“What the fuck did you think you were doing?” Brian barked, glancing to his right.

“I was working, in case you didn’t notice. Not that it’s any of your business,” Justin replied defiantly.

“No wonder you’re sick, working in a place like that,” Brian muttered, more to himself than Justin.

“Look, that’s not my normal job. In fact, tonight was a one time deal. A friend needed my help and I needed the money. Not that it matters anymore. I can’t go back after what you did and you managed to cost me three hundred dollars by pulling your little stunt, so when Jason and I are living in my car, I’ll have you to thank.” Justin sighed wondering why he was giving Brian so much information.

“Living in your car?”

“Believe it or not Dr. Kinney, not everyone brings in a doctor’s salary every week. This was my only chance to try to stop the eviction that is taking place on Monday, but thanks to you, the chance is gone. Now if you’ll just pull over, I’ll get out and catch a bus back to my apartment since I caught a ride with my friend so that I could save on gas money. I have a lot of packing to do.”

Brian suddenly realized that he had misjudged to younger man. He wasn’t a stripper, just a father who was trying to earn some extra money to take care of his son. “I’ll write you a check,” he finally offered.

“Don’t bother. I don’t take hand outs,” Justin replied dryly.

“Oh, so you’ll take off your clothes for a room full of drunken fags, but won’t except help from anyone?”

“It’s not your problem, it’s mine. I’ll figure something out. Now would you please just stop the car so I can get home? I need to send home my baby sitter before she cost me my last dollar.”

“I’ll drive you home,” Brian said, noticing the determined look on Justin’s face. “It’s the least I can do.”

Justin wanted to refuse, but after mentally calculating the cost of bus fair, he gave in with a slight nod and quietly gave Brian directions to his apartment. When they finally pulled up in front of the building, Justin reached for the door, but stopped when he felt Brian’s hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry I screwed things up for you,” he said softly.

Justin looked over and saw the sincerity in Brian’s eyes and sighed. “It’s no big deal. Three hundred dollars probably wouldn’t have been enough to stop Monday from happening anyway.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ll figure something out. Thanks for the ride.” And with those parting words, Justin climbed out of the car and headed into the building wondering if there was anything to figure out. In another two days he and his son would be homeless and he had no where to turn. Life had been trying to kick his ass for years and had finally succeeded.

Brian watched Justin walk into the building before pulling away from the curb, but he couldn’t seem to forget the sad look in those beautiful eyes and he racked his brain to try to come up with a solution to the man’s problems. He knew it was none of his business, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to help. The sound of his cell phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts. He knew who it was without looking at the display.

“Hey Mikey,” he answered.

“Don’t hey Mikey me. Where the fuck are you? You were supposed to be here a half hour ago,” Michael whined into the phone.

“Sorry, something came up and I can’t make it,” Brian replied as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He felt a headache coming on and didn’t need Michael’s whine to make it worse. “I’ll call you in a day or two and make it up to you, but I’ve got to go. Later.”

He shut off his phone and tossed it in the seat beside him, knowing that as hurt as Michael was, he’d get over it. The life of a doctor was always unpredictable and Michael was used to things coming up. He finally pulled up at his house and killed the engine, sitting in the car for a few minutes to regroup. When he walked inside, he was greeted by Janet, who seemed surprised to see him.

“I didn’t expect you home this early,” she said as he hung his jacket in the closet.

“Something came up and I had to leave early. Are the kids asleep?” he asked as he made his way to the small bar in the living room. He wasn’t much of a drinker, but needed a little something to sooth his nerves after the night he had.

“Yes, they’re sound asleep. The Petersons called earlier and wanted to know if they could take the kids tomorrow. The circus is in town and they were given tickets by a client of Ron’s. I told them that you would call them in the morning,” she told him as she grabbed her jacket off the chair. “If there’s nothing else, I think I’ll be going. Stan was disappointed that I was working tonight so I think I’ll surprise him but picking up a dessert from his favorite restaurant on the way home.”

“He’s a lucky man, Janet. Thanks for helping me out tonight. I’ll see you Monday morning.”

“I’ll be here. Good night, Brian.”

Once Janet was gone, Brian locked up and headed upstairs to take a shower and wash away the smell of the dingy club. Once he was done, he crawled into bed and lay there well into the night, thinking about the blond across town and wondering once again if there was a way to help. It was crazy, since he hadn’t known the man until two days before, but Brian felt a need to help him through his difficult time.

In the morning, Brian called Nancy and Ron and agreed to allow them to take their grandchildren to the circus. By noon, he was alone in his big house, still thinking about Justin. He had an idea of how he could help, but wasn’t sure how to make the independent man accept without considering it to be charity. Deciding that he had nothing to lose, Brian pulled out the bill from the hospital and got the apartment number before heading across town. He parked his car and waited until he saw someone exit the building before rushing through the open door without announcing himself. He had a feeling that if he buzzed the apartment, he would be refused entry.

Finding the right door quickly, he knocked and waited until Jason opened the door.

“Dr. Kinney, what are you doing here?” Jason asked in surprise.

“I came to see how you and your dad were doing. Is he here?” Brian asked as he looked past the small boy and saw boxes littering the small room.

“Yeah, he’s in the shower. I’m not supposed to let strangers in, but since you’re not really a stranger, I guess its okay,” Jason said as he stepped aside and allowed Brian to enter.

Brian looked around the room and saw that aside from the boxes stacked in the center, the room was rather homey and well kept.

Jason saw a strange look appear of the doctor’s face and explained why the boxes were there. “Daddy and I are going on an adventure tomorrow.”

“You are?” Brian asked curiously.

“Yeah, he said that it will be like camping, but without the tent,” Jason replied innocently, causing Brian’s heart to sink. Justin really had no place to go and apparently no one to turn to. The realization enforced his desire to help, no matter how much of an argument Justin put up.

“Jason, who are you talking to?” Justin called out as he walked down the hallway, wrapped in a towel. He stopped short when he saw Brian standing in the center of the room. “Dr. Kinney, what are you doing here?”

“He came to see how we’re doing,” Jason explained with a smile. “Wasn’t that nice of him?”

“It certainly was,” Justin said to his son while he looked skeptically at Brian. “Jason, why don’t you go down to your room and finish packing? Remember, we can only take our most favorite things so think carefully before making your decisions.”

“Okay daddy,” Jason replied as he ran down the hall to his bedroom, leaving the two men alone to stare at one another uncomfortably.

Brian tried his best not to notice how good Justin looked standing there in nothing but a towel, but failed miserably. He couldn’t seem to stop his eyes from roaming up and down the thin but obviously well toned body.

Justin saw the way Brian was looking at him and suddenly realized that he was standing there in nothing but a towel. “Excuse me while I go put on some clothes. Then you can tell me what you’re doing here.” He didn’t give Brian a chance to reply before quickly making his way back down to the bathroom. As he dressed, his mind raced with all the possible reasons Brian could have for stopping by, but none of them seemed to make any sense. After he was finished, he tousled his hair and took a deep breath before going back to the living room to join Brian. He found him staring at the portrait of Jason and Daphne that hung above the couch.

“Is that Jason’s mother?” Brian asked as he continued to look at the portrait.

“Yeah, that was Daphne. I painted that right before she got sick,” Justin replied softly.

“So then she’s…”

“Yes,” Justin said quickly, keeping Brian from saying the words. “She had cancer.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian offered before the rest of Justin’s words sunk in. “Wait a minute. You painted that?”

“Yeah…I used to want to be an artist,” Justin explained shyly.

“Used to? What changed you mind? It’s obvious that you’re talented.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind being a starving artist, but I think Jason might. I have to be realistic. We’ll get further in life with me busing tables as opposed to painting pretty pictures. Anyway, you haven’t told me what you’re doing here,” Justin said, quickly changing the subject.

“I…uh...feel really bad about what happened last night. It wasn’t my place to jump in and stop you,” Brian admitted.

“No, it wasn’t. But I’m kind of glad you did. I only agreed to do it because I needed the money and couldn’t refuse. I don’t even know if I would’ve followed through with it. I like to dance on occasion, but I’m not a stripper. I prefer to take my clothes off in private.” Justin felt himself blush at his admission.

Brian noticed the blush that crept up Justin’s face and smiled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I prefer an audience of no more than one; well maybe two on occasion,” he joked. “Anyway, I was thinking about your situation and I think I might have a temporary solution for you.”

“Dr. Kinney,” Justin sighed.

“Please, call me Brian. We’re not in the hospital anymore and I think that we’ve already crossed the doctor/patient line.”

“Okay, Brian, this is my problem, not yours. I appreciate your concern, but I’ll figure out something on my own.”

“By taking Jason on an adventure?” Brian saw Justin wince and knew he hit a nerve. “Look, I’ve found myself in a little bit of a bind and I was hoping you could help me out.”

Justin looked at Brian cautiously, trying to figure out his angle. “You want me to do something for you?”

“Yes, you see, my housekeeper/nanny had a family emergency and needs to take off the next couple of weeks. Without her, I have no one to take care of my children while I’m at work. I was hoping you would be able to take her place during her absence. I’ll pay you five hundred dollars a week plus free room and board. What do you say?”

“Your nanny? You have children?” Justin asked, unable to hide his surprise.

“Yes, Gus is seven and Amber is five. They’re good kids, but obviously not old enough to take care of themselves,” Brian explained.

“Um…what about their mother?” Justin inquired, suddenly very curious about the man before him.

“Their mothers were killed in a car accident a few years ago. I’m all they have left. As you can imagine, a doctor’s schedule isn’t geared for young children, which was fine while they lived with Melanie and Lindsay. I’ve been doing the best I can, but I need someone who can be there for them before and after school, plus in the evenings while I’m working. It’s not an easy job, mind you. I’ve been known to call home and cancel plans on more than one occasion. In fact, I hardly saw them this past week since the flu managed to infect half of our ER doctors.”

“And if I say no? What will you do then?”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to take tomorrow off and call the agency I use to have them find someone else. I just hate to do that, especially considering how long it took me to find someone as competent as Janet has been.”

“How do you know I’ll be competent? You don’t even know me,” Justin pointed out.

“True, but I know you love your son and are willing to do anything, including taking off your clothes in a room full of drunken fags, to protect him. That’s a trait you don’t find everyday,” Brian answered with a smile.

“Why me?”

“I told you, I feel bad about what happened last night. I wanted to write you a check, but you refused. This way we can help each other out. It wouldn’t be charity and it would give you some extra money and a couple of weeks to figure out what you’re going to do next. My house is more than big enough for you and Jason and I’m sure the kids will get along great. It’s the perfect solution for both of us.”

“I’m not sure…”

Before Justin could answer, he was interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. He sighed before going to answer it, knowing who was going to be on the other side.

“Hello Mr. Jenkins, what can I do for you?”

“How about paying me the rent you owe?” the man growled.

“I told you before that I just don’t have it. If you give me a couple more days, I’m sure that I can…”

“Forget it, Taylor. Be gone by noon tomorrow,” Jenkins barked before turning on his heels and storming away.

Justin stared after the man for a moment before closing the door and turning back to Brian. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice. I’ll accept your offer.”

“Good, now I’ll leave you to finish packing and I’ll come by later tonight to help you move your things. You can store what you don’t need in my garage until you find a place of your own. Trust me, Justin, everything’s going to work out just fine,” Brian assured him as he walked towards the door. “I’ll see you about seven?”

“Okay,” Justin agreed, hoping he was making the right decision. He hated the thought of having to live in his car, but somehow he had a feeling that living under the same roof as the gorgeous doctor was going to be a lot worse.

Brian smiled and then walked out of the small apartment, content with how his plan had worked. When he went to see Justin, he had no intention of offering him a job, but once he realized that Justin really meant it when he said they were going to be living in his car, he couldn’t stand back and let it happen. He wasn’t sure what would happen after the two weeks were up, but at least it bought Justin some time to figure things out. Once he reached his car, Brian pulled out his cell phone and called Janet. He had one more task to take care of.

“Hello?”

“Hey Janet, its Brian.”

“Oh Brian, is something wrong?” Janet asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong. In fact, today’s your lucky day. I’m giving you the next two weeks off with pay,” Brian explained.

“What? Why?”

“Well, let’s just say that I developed a heart in the last few days and I’m taking it out for a test drive,” Brian laughed.

“Brian, you’ve always had a heart. It’s one of your most endearing qualities. Now why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?” Janet prodded.

Brian sighed, and then filled Janet in on what was happening. Once he was finished, he waited for her to say something and was surprised by her silence.

“Well, aren’t you going to say something?”

“Brian Kinney, you’re a wonderful man. And to prove that I’m just as wonderful as you, I’m going to take the next two weeks off without pay. There’s no need for you to pay me for not working. In fact, maybe Stan and I could take the vacation we’ve been talking about. This could really work out good for everybody,” Janet said as she mentally planned her next two weeks.

“Good, and thanks. I owe you one,” Brian replied.

“You owe me more than one,” Janet teased. “I’ll give you a call in the middle of the week and see how things are going.”

“Okay, bye Janet.”

“Good bye Brian.”

Once Brian disconnected the call, he started the car and headed home. He had a lot of preparations that he needed to do before his house guests arrived. He also had to call the Petersons and see what time they were dropping off the kids so he could make sure he was home in time. He even thought about taking a nap. Being generous was exhausting.

Justin had just finished packing up his and Jason’s things when he heard a knock on the door and knew it was Brian. He still had reservations about moving in with him, even if it was only for two weeks, but he pushed them aside for Jason’s sake. When he opened the door and saw Brian standing on the other side looking sexy as hell, his breath caught in his throat and his doubts grew even more.

“Are you going to invite me in?” Brian drawled casually.

“Uh…yeah, come on in. I was just finishing up,” Justin said as he stepped aside. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“I told you, I’m in a bind. If you don’t help me out I’m fucked, and not in a good way,” Brian teased.

“Alright, alright, I just wanted to double check. I’ll go get Jason and we’ll start moving everything down to your car. Mine’s already packed up. I just hope you have a roomy trunk. Otherwise it’s never all going to fit,” Justin sighed as he looked around at the boxes that were still waiting to be loaded.

“No problem, I brought my pick-up,” Brian assured him. He smiled inwardly at the strange look that appeared on Justin’s face before he headed down the hallway to retrieve his son.

Justin tried to imagine Brian in the driver’s seat of a beat up old pick-up, but couldn’t picture it in his mind. He just seemed too classy for that. He found out why a short time later when they reached the parking lot and Justin was looking at a fifty thousand dollar plus Chevy Avalanche. Only someone like Brian would consider that a pick-up. He was beginning to wonder exactly how much the doctor was worth and suddenly felt very small in his presence.

“Is everything alright?” Brian asked when he saw Justin’s hesitation.

“Uh…yeah. I was just trying to think if I packed everything,” Justin lied.

“Well after we get everything loaded, you can always go back through and double check,” Brian said as he lowered the back gate and started stacking the boxes in the truck.

Thirty minutes later, Justin found himself and Jason in his car, following Brian to his house. He tried to push away his nervousness, but wasn’t able to stop the doubts that were running through his mind until he realized Jason had asked him a question.

“What was that, Kiddo?”

“I asked how long we were going to be staying at Brian’s house,” Jason repeated.

“Oh, about two weeks, I guess. Just until his housekeeper gets back,” Justin told him honestly.

“Then where are we going?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ll think of something. Are you hungry? You really didn’t have much for dinner,” Justin pointed out, needing to change the subject.

“Not really. How old did you say Brian’s kids are? Do you think they’ll like me? It’ll be fun to have other kids to play with after school,” Jason replied.

“I’m sure it will. Gus is seven and Amber is five,” Justin told him once again.

That seemed to satisfy Jason for the moment and the rest of the trip was made in silence. Justin thought the boy had fallen asleep until they pulled into the driveway and Jason voiced Justin’s thoughts.

“Wow, this is Brian’s house? It’s so big.”

Justin didn’t know how to respond as he took in the huge house before him. He pulled his car up next to the truck and tried not to think about how out of place it looked there. He jumped when Brian appeared at his side and opened the door.

“Are you coming in?”

“Oh…yeah,” Justin said as he took his keys out of the ignition and climbed out of the car. He opened the back door and helped Jason out before taking their bags out of the trunk.

“Why don’t you leave the boxes until morning when it’s light out? I’ll show you the garage so you’ll know where to put them,” Brian suggested as he grabbed one of their bags and walked towards the door without waiting for a response.

Justin took Jason’s hand and they followed him inside. Justin was awe by what he saw and wondered how he was going to keep up with a house that size.

“I have a cleaning service that comes in once a week to do a thorough cleaning. All I need from you is the basic day to day things like dishes and laundry,” Brian explained as if he read Justin’s mind. “Come on, I’ll show you to your room and then give you the full tour.”

Justin just nodded his head in acknowledgement and followed Brian upstairs. The room was tastefully decorated, with plenty of space as well as two dressers and a desk in the corner. The bed was king size and more than big enough for both of them.

“I figured Jason would be more comfortable in here with you; at least for the first couple of nights, until he gets used to being here. The bathroom is right down the hall and will be just for the two of you. I have my own in my bedroom and the kids’ rooms have an adjoining bathroom between them so make yourselves at home.” Before Brian could say anything else, he heard the sound of his children returning home. “The terrors are here. I’d better go down there. Take your time and look around and then I’ll come back up and take you on that tour.”

Justin watched Brian walk away and turned to Jason. “So, what do you think?”

“I think this place is so cool. Look how big the bed is. I didn’t know they made beds that big,” Jason gushed with excitement.

Justin watched his son with sad eyes. He himself had grown up in a big house. Maybe it wasn’t as big as Brian’s, but definitely better than anything Jason ever had and he cursed his father for being such a homophobic asshole and taking it all away from him. Jason was such a good kid and deserved to have the finer things in life. He definitely didn’t deserve to live in a car.

Brian spent a few minutes talking to Lindsay’s parents before they left, then sat his children down to tell them about their house guests.

“Listen you two; I have something to tell you. Janet won’t be coming here for a couple of weeks so I hired someone else to take care of you,” he began, watching closely for their reaction. “His name is Justin and he’s going to be staying with us for a while.”

“Is he going to take us to school, Daddy?” Amber asked.

“Yes he is. He’s going to be doing all the things that Janet does and I want you to listen to him and do what he tells you to do, alright? He also has a son named Jason. He’s six and he’s staying here, too.”

“Cool. Can he stay in my room?” Gus asked, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of having a new friend.

“I don’t know about that. I think he might want to stay with his Daddy for awhile. Remember, this is a strange place to him so he might be a little shy at first. They’re upstairs now. Would you like to go meet them?”

“Yes,” the kids said in unison, jumping up from the couch eagerly.

Brian laughed at their excitement. “Well, then lets go.”

Gus and Amber took their father’s hand and they made their way upstairs to Justin’s room. Brian knocked lightly on the door before entering. “I have two little monsters who would like to meet you,” Brian teased.

“Daddy, we’re not monsters,” Amber giggled before looking over at the strangers. “Hi, I’m Amber and this is my brother Gus.”

Justin smiled at the two beautiful children holding Brian’s hand. “Well hello Amber and Gus. I’m Justin and this is Jason.”

Gus let go of his father’s hand and walked over to Jason. “Do you like video games? I have Playstation in my room.”

“I’ve never played it before,” Jason replied tentatively.

“It’s easy. Me and Amber will show you how. Come on,” Gus exclaimed as he took Jason by the hand and ran from the room with Amber trailing them.

“It’s Amber and I,” Brian called after them with laughter. “Well, I guess we’ve been dumped. Ready for that tour now?”

“Sure, lead the way,” Justin smiled in reply.

Brian showed Justin around, filling him in on all the things he needed to know to do the job that was expected of him. Justin wished he had taken notes by the end and even wondered if he would need a map to find his way around.

Brian noticed how quiet Justin was and wondered if he was overwhelming the man. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not real strict when it comes to the daily chores. As long as you take good care of the kids, I’m happy. I’d offer you a glass of wine, but since you’re on medication all I can offer is iced tea.”

“That sounds heavenly,” Justin replied nervously.

They made their way into Brian’s study and Justin took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace while Brian poured them each a glass of tea. After handing Justin his, Brian took a seat on the opposite end and turned towards the blond. “Do you have any questions?”

“Only about a million,” Justin laughed, taking a long swallow. He was hoping to calm his nerves. Being alone with Brian was starting to make him very uncomfortable.

“Like I said before, don’t worry too much. I have a list of necessities written down in the kitchen for you so I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Brian assured him.

“Brian, I just want to say thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t brought us here. I can’t even imagine having to live in a car with my son. I still can’t believe this is how my life turned out.”

Brian immediately saw the clouds appear in Justin’s face and couldn’t help but question him. “How did you expect for your life to turn out?”

“I originally thought that I’d go off to college and major in art. It’s my passion. But then Daphne and I screwed up. She wanted me to be her first and even though we both knew I was gay, she still asked and I agreed. Just our luck, she turned up pregnant…not that I regret having Jason, mind you,” Justin quickly clarified. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s just that we were so young, only seventeen.”

“I understand. It must have been hard for both of you,” Brian said.

“It was. Our parents went crazy and insisted that we get married. I agreed, but Daphne refused. She said she couldn’t do that to me. She didn’t want me to be stuck with a woman. We’d been best friends since grade school and loved each other completely. When our parents started coming down on her about her refusal, I decided to stand up for her and came out to my father. He hit the roof and told me that he refused to have a gay son. He threw me out that day and I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Brian could see the anguish in Justin’s eyes and placed a comforting hand on his arm. “You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay. From there Daphne and I quit school and got our GED’s, and then got full time jobs so that we could afford a tiny apartment. It wasn’t the perfect plan, but at least we were managing. We both still had high hopes of going back to school, but it never happened. Life got in the way. When Jason turned four, Daphne got sick. She didn’t tell me right away because we didn’t have insurance and she didn’t want to me to worry anymore about money. By the time I realized that something wasn’t right and made her go to the doctors, it was too late. She had cancer and by then it had already spread. She died a few months later. She had a small life insurance policy, which went to me and that’s how we managed for so long, but without the second income the money didn’t last long enough. I’ve tried getting better jobs, but without a babysitter, it’s hard. If I have to pay for daycare, I might as well not work. The job I have now is perfect. I can drop Jason at school before my shift and pick him up when I’m done, but it doesn’t pay very well. I’ve been doing the best I can, but I can’t help but feel that I’ve not only let Jason down, but Daphne, too. She counted on me to take good care of our son, and I can’t even do that right. If not for you, we’d be sleeping in my car tomorrow night.” Justin finally took a deep breath, barely aware of the silent tears that were running down his face.

“Justin, you’re being too hard on yourself. Jason is a happy, healthy little boy. You’re doing everything you can to take care of him. Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, but you put his needs above your own. That’s more than a lot of parents do. Don’t worry, it’ll all work itself out.” Brian wasn’t sure if that was true, but he was determined to take away some of the pain showing in Justin’s beautiful blue eyes.

“It’s getting late. I think I’d better go find Jason and get him to bed,” Justin replied softly as he stood up. He needed a little time to himself to try and figure out what to do about his growing attraction to Brian. Just being in his house was proving to be very bad.

“I didn’t realize it was after nine. I’ve got to get Gus and Amber into bed. Otherwise it’ll be a bitch getting them up in the morning. I don’t have to be at the hospital until eight, so I’ll be here when you get up,” Brian assured him as he took the empty glasses. “Just let me put these in the dishwasher and we’ll go see to the kids.”

Justin waited for Brian, and then they walked silently up the stairs and into Gus’ room. The sight before them caused both men to stop in their tracks. Amber was sound asleep on the bed, with Gus and Jason sleeping on the floor in a make shift bed complete with pillows and blankets.

“I guess they were pretty worn out,” Brian whispered. “Do you want to leave Jason here?”

“Might as well. They look so peaceful when their sleeping, don’t they?” Justin replied softly.

“Of course they do. We’re the ones that do all the worrying,” Brian teased. He walked over and turned off the lights, placing a kiss on Amber’s forehead before leading Justin out of the room. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning. And don’t forget to take your medicine. You still look a little pale.”

“Yes Dr. Kinney,” Justin teased, giving Brian a genuine smile.

Brian was blown away by the smile on Justin’s face and felt his jeans tighten in response. He had an overwhelming urge to drag the blond down to his room and make him forget all about his problems, but figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to scare Justin away; especially considering he’d already given Janet the next two weeks off. “Good night, Justin.”

“Good night,” Justin replied as he headed for his room. Once he was behind the closed door, he let out a sighed and threw himself on the bed. He had to find a way to get some money and another apartment quick. Otherwise he feared what would become of him when his two weeks were up and he had to leave Brian behind. He’d only known the man for a few days and already he felt a strong attachment to him. How shuddered at the thought of how close they could become while living under the same roof and hoped to God that he wouldn’t end up with a broken heart.

 

~~~@~~~
 

Justin woke up to a faint sound of crying. It took him a moment as he looked around his unfamiliar surroundings to remember where he was, and then his brain suddenly registered that the faint crying was coming from his son who was down the hall. Grabbing his sweat pants, he hastily threw them on before hurrying down the hall. He was just about to walk in the room when the sound of hushed voices stopped him in his tracks.

“Are you alright, Sonny Boy?” Brian asked his voice calm and soothing.

“Yeah, I just had a bad dream and when I woke up, I didn’t remember where I was,” Jason replied softly.

“You had a bad dream? Would you like to tell me about it?” When Brian didn’t get a response, he continued. “Sometimes Gus has nightmares and he always feels better after talking about it.”

“I was dreaming about my mom,” Jason finally admitted. “I see pictures of her all the time; like the one my Daddy painted, but sometimes I don’t remember her.”

“Well Jason, you were so young when she died. It’s hard to remember things when you’re that young, but that’s why we have pictures. So we can look at them and think of that person. Have you talked to your Dad about it? I’m sure he would tell you stories to help you remember,” Brian offered, his heart going out to the little boy.

“I try not to talk about her too much.”

“Why? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Because every time he talks about her, he gets so sad. I don’t want to make him sad,” Jason explained innocently.

Justin stood just outside the doorway with silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He had no idea that Jason wanted to talk about Daphne, and the thought of him being afraid to ask questions broke Justin’s heart. He stood there for a moment and continued to listen, trying to decide if he should announce his presence when he heard Brian go on.

“Jason, I’m sure your Dad gets sad sometimes when he thinks about your Mom, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to talk about her. I get sad sometimes when I think about Gus and Amber’s mother, but I still like to talk about her. Just because a person’s gone, it doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk about them or forget they ever existed. Talking about them helps us to remember them. Now, do you wanna tell me about that dream?” Brian asked again.

“I think so. I dreamed that I fell while I was riding my bike and my Mommy picked me up and she hugged me and kissed me and told me that I was her big boy. But then…she was gone. I was looking everywhere for her but I couldn’t find her. I was really scared,” Jason said, wiping away the tears that started to fall.

Brian opened his arms to the boy and was rewarded when he engulfed him in his arms. “Shhh…its okay. You know your Mommy’s not really gone, right?”

“But she is. She got sick and died. I’m never going to see her again,” Jason cried sadly.

“Maybe not, but she’s always going to be in your heart. As long as you keep her there, she’ll always be close to you. And don’t forget, she’s up in heaven now so she’s always watching you and doing her best to keep you safe,” Brian replied tenderly.

“She is?”

“You bet. Now, do you want me to take you to your Dad? He’s sleeping right down the hall,” Brian offered.

“No, that’s okay. I’d rather stay here with Gus and Amber. Daddy doesn’t sleep that much so I don’t want to wake him up,” Jason said as he snuggled back down under the blankets. “Good night, Brian,” he mumbled as sleep began overtaking him once again.

“Good night,” Brian whispered as he pulled the blankets up over the boy and smoothed his hair back before quietly leaving the room.

As he entered the hallway, he found Justin standing against the wall, his face in his hands and his shoulders shaking through his soft sobs. Without saying a word, Brian took him in his arm and guided him to his bedroom. Once they were there, Brian led him to the bed and sat down along side of him, keeping a comforting arm around his shoulders.

“I’m guessing you heard us.” It was more a statement than a question.

“I didn’t realize he felt that way. Of course I get sad when I think about her being gone. We were best friends since second grade, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about her. I just wasn’t sure what he remembered and I didn’t want to confuse him,” Justin explained as his sobs subsided.

“I know, believe me I understand. You just have to talk to him and see what he remembers. It’s hard at first, but it does get easier,” Brian assured him.

“His dream…”

“What about his dream?” Brian asked.

“It wasn’t really a dream. It was more like a memory. We had already known that Daphne wasn’t going to make it. She was pretty sick at the time. She said she wanted to do as much with Jason as she could before she left him. I went out and bought him a bike with training wheels. We used to walk to the park down the block. It was hard for Daph. She was getting so weak, but she insisted. One day she woke up feeling better than she had in weeks. She was almost like her old self again. While we were at the park, Jason lost his balance as he was climbing off his bike. Daphne found the strength to pick him up and comfort him. It was so beautiful to see after all the suffering she’d been doing. Two days later, she was back in the hospital and never came out. I swore it was like God gave her that time because he knew he was going to take her.” Justin fought the tears that were threatening as he looked down at the floor lost in a sea of memories.

“Justin, nothing I say is going to make you feel better. I know that from experience. Lindsay and I met in college and became instant friends. In fact, it was her idea to have the kids. Not that I regret having them now, but I never wanted to be a father. I did it for her because I loved her that much. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her, wondering what she would think of how I’m taking care of our children, or just missing having someone who loved me despite my many flaws. I wish she was just a phone call away like she used to be; but she’s not and nothing I do is going to change that. Once I accepted that, I was able to move on with my life; for me and for the children. You need to move on, too. She’s gone. All you can do is remember all the good times, share them with your son, and be thankful for every minute you had with her. Life will get easier once you do that. I promise.”

Justin looked up into Brian’s eyes and saw sincerity in them, calming his aching soul. “Thank you,” he whispered softly.

“Now why don’t you try to get some sleep? You still don’t look too good,” Brian said as he looked more closely at Justin. “You’re still taking your medicine, right?”

“I haven’t missed a dose, but you’re right. I’m not feeling too good. It’s probably just stress from the move. I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning,” Justin assured him.

“Well, if not I’ll bring home a stronger antibiotic for you. I can’t have my nanny under the weather,” Brian teased as he stood up to go. “Good night Justin.”

“Good night.”

Justin waited until Brian was out of the room before stripping back down and climbing into bed. He was suddenly exhausted and barely had time to get comfortable before succumbing to sleep.

Brian woke up the next morning to three children jumping on his bed.

“Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! We’re starving!” Amber shrieked as she climbed up on her father. “We want pancakes!”

“”You do, do you?” Brian asked groggily as he grabbed his daughter and started tickling her. Once he was done, he glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost seven. “We better get moving or you’re going to be late for school. Jason, where’s your dad?”

“He’s still sleeping. I tried to wake him up, but he just mumbled something I couldn’t understand and rolled over,” Jason replied.

Brian knew that Justin had been through a lot and being sick on top of it probably wore him out. The poor guy needed his rest. “Jason, do you know the name of your school?”

“Yep, it’s Stony Brook Elementary,” Jason told him proudly.

“Okay, this is what we’re going to do. Jason, I want you to go into your room quietly and get dressed in school clothes. Gus, Amber, you two go get dressed also. I’ll meet all three of you in the kitchen as soon as I’m ready and we’ll have a fast breakfast. Then I’ll drive you all to school. How does that sound?”

“Yay! I love when you drive us to school Daddy!” Amber cheered.

“Okay, now remember…Justin is sleeping so we have to keep our voices down.”

“Okay,” the three kids called out together as they ran to their rooms to get ready. Jason was excited to have Brian driving him to school while Gus and Amber always thought of it as a treat.

Brian called the hospital and told them that he’d be a little late before jumping in the shower and getting dressed. Once he was ready, he went downstairs and made breakfast for the kids. He took a few moments to write a short note to Justin telling him that he dropped the kids off and to call if he needed stronger medication. He left his work number and then headed off to school and then work.

Around noon, Brian was sitting in the break room drinking a cup of coffee when Betty walked in with a concerned look on her face.

“Brian, Janet’s on line three. She says it’s urgent.”

Brian was confused since Janet was on vacation, but got up to take the call.

“Janet, what’s up?”

“Oh Brian, I’m so glad they were able to find you. I’m sorry I’m such a busy body, but this morning when I got up I headed over to your house to check on things and get a chance to meet this mysterious man who you seem so worried about. I saw his car in the driveway so I rang the bell, but when I got no answer I used my key to get in. When I couldn’t find him downstairs, I walked upstairs and found him lying unconscious on the floor by the bathroom. I called 911. They’re loading them in the ambulance right now. I just thought you should be warned. He should be there in about ten minutes. They know to ask for you.” Janet rambled off the information as best as she could, although she couldn’t stop shaking from her discovery.

“Fuck!” Brian yelled, startling both Janet and Betty. “Thanks Janet, I’ll be waiting for him.” He hung up the phone and slammed his hands down on the counter.

“Brian? What’s wrong?” Betty asked with motherly concern.

“It’s a long story, but Justin is on his way here by ambulance. I’m going to go check on a few things but I want to be notified immediately when he gets here. Make sure to have me paged.” He was almost out the door when Betty called out to him.

“Justin Taylor? The guy from last week?”

“Yeah, I told you it was a long story. I’ll fill you in later, but Janet found him unconscious in my hallway. Just make sure to page me as soon as he gets here.”

 

~~~@~~~
 

Justin could hear a lot of noise around him and tried to open his eyes, but they were just too heavy and he was just too tired. It was almost as if someone was holding them down and he started to panic a little until he heard Brian’s voice speaking softly by his head.

“Shhh…just relax. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Justin was still confused by where he was and what was going on, but hearing Brian’s comforting voice made him feel better and he drifted back off to sleep, knowing that everything was going to be okay.

The next time he came to, as tired as he was, Justin managed to open his eyes. It took a moment for him to adjust to the bright lights around him, but once he was able to focus, he recognized his surroundings and knew that he was in the hospital. He sat up quickly and realized his mistake when the room started spinning around him. He groaned as he gently laid back, waiting for the world to right itself again.

“Easy there Mr. Taylor. Just relax while I call for the doctor,” an unfamiliar voice said softly.

Justin opened his eyes again and saw a nurse standing alongside his bed. “What happened?”

“I’ll let Dr. Kinney explain that to you. He’s been quite anxious for you to wake up. Hang on and I’ll go get him.”

The nurse was gone before Justin could say anymore, which was good because he was still trying to get his bearings. After a few minutes, Brian walked in the door looking tired and worn.

“Hey sleepy head, it’s about time you woke up,” Brian said cheerfully as he walked into Justin’s room.

“Brian, what happened?” Justin asked immediately.

“Well, apparently that pneumonia you have is a lot more severe than I thought. Your fever shot up to 105 and you passed out. Luckily Janet found you in time and called 911,” Brian explained. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I’m not sure. I think I remember Jason trying to wake me up…Oh my God, where’s Jason? Shit, and Amber and Gus? Fuck!” Justin exclaimed as he tried to get out of bed.

Brian saw the movement and managed to stop him before he fell out on to the floor. “Relax; all three kids are just fine. They’re at home with Janet.”

“Janet?”

“My nanny. She and her husband haven’t left town yet. She went to the house this morning to meet her temporary replacement and found you unconscious by the bathroom door. She agreed to pick the kids up and stay with them until I can get home. It wasn’t easy getting Jason out of Stony Brook. They had to call me here and verify that you were admitted and even then it took some sweet talking,” Brian smiled at the confused look on Justin’s face and smiled.


”Shit, not the way to start out my first day on the job, huh? I’ll understand if you want to get someone else. Just hand me my clothes and I’ll go to your house and get my things.”

“Nice try Blondie, but you’re not going anywhere. I’ve admitted you for observation. Not only are you still running a fever of 102, but you’re pretty dehydrated. I want to keep you on an IV until at least tomorrow. I’m also going to run a few more tests before discharging you. Then its bed rest for the rest of the week,” Brian told him.

“Bed rest? I can’t rest. I’ve either got to take care of your house and children or find a place to live. How am I supposed to rest?” Justin asked incredulously.

“It’s simple. Janet is putting off her trip until the weekend and staying with the kids while you recuperate. All you need to do is contact the school giving her permission to pick Jason up in the afternoons. You might want to put my name on the list, too, just incase.”

“But Brian, I can’t do that. I can’t even stay here overnight. I don’t have the money to pay, remember?”

“It’s all taken care of. I spoke with the coordinator of charity care and she’s going to submit the bill. In emergencies like this where a patient is admitted, they waive the 24 hour notice policy. All you need to do is relax and get better,” Brian assured him.

“But I can’t…”

“Yes you can. You can’t even take care of your son properly like this. What would’ve happened if you were still at home in your apartment when this happened?”

Justin shuddered at the thought and knew Brian was right. He always put Jason’s needs before his own, but if he allowed himself to get too sick, where would that leave his son? He sighed in resignation and looked Brian in the eyes.

“I’m really sorry about all of this. I’m just so worried about the future; I guess I wasn’t thinking about anything else.”

“It’s okay now. Once you recover you’ll be as good as new,” Brian promised. “Now I’d better get out of here. I have three kids at home waiting for me to watch a movie with them. When I leave, give the house a call. Jason’s been fine, but he’s worried about you. I think it’ll help if he hears your voice. I left the number on the nightstand. After that you’re to stop thinking so much and get some rest. Doctor’s orders, understand?”

“Yes Dr. Kinney,” Justin teased.

“Good, I’ll stop by and see you in the morning.”

Justin said good night and waited until Brian was out the door before reaching for the phone and calling his son. After a brief introduction between him and Janet where he thanked the woman for helping him, Justin finally got a chance to talk to Jason.

“Daddy? Is that really you?” Jason asked tentatively.

“Of course it’s me. How’re you doing Buddy?”

“I’m okay, but I was really scared. Janet told me that you got sick again and were at the hospital with Brian. Are you sick like Mommy was?”

Justin could hear the fear in his son’s voice and cursed himself for not realizing how important his own health was. “No Jason, I’m going to be just fine. I’m sick kind of like you were sick last week, only my body didn’t respond to my medicine like yours did. Brian gave me some stronger medicine and I should be home tomorrow. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to,” Jason replied softly.

“Are you having a good time with Gus and Amber?”

After that Justin listened to endless chatter about Jason’s new best friends and all that they did that day. Despite the fact that he’d slept most of the day, Justin suddenly found himself exhausted. He was just about to say good night to his son when he heard him greeting Brian.

“Daddy, Brian’s home now and he said I need to say good night so that you can rest,” Jason told him after his short conversation with Brian.

“Well then I better listen to him. He’s the doctor,” Justin teased as he felt himself slipping closer into unconsciousness.

“Good night Daddy. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow. Be good for Brian and Janet.”

Justin barely heard his son’s reply as he drifted off to sleep, the phone gently slipping from his hand.

The next morning Justin was sitting up in bed playing with the breakfast that the aid had brought in earlier. He woke up early feeling better than he had in days and all he wanted to do was go home. Not that he had a home to go to, but Brian’s place was good enough for the moment. He was lost in thought, thinking about how nice Brian had been to him in the days since they met when the object of his thoughts walked through the door, looking sexy as always in jeans and a form fitting t-shirt.

“Hey, you’re looking better than the last time I saw you,” Brian said as he entered the room and headed for the chart at the foot of the bed. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a log. Brian, why are you dressed like that? Aren’t you supposed to be wearing your white coat?”

“I took the day off. I figured it would be easier to get you home and settled in if I wasn’t here,” Brian answered as he looked through the chart, pleased with what he saw. “I see your fever broke late last night. That’s good. I’m just going to have the lab run a few more blood tests and then I’ll sign your discharge papers and we can get out of here.”

“Brian, you can’t do that?” Justin stated, although it sounded more like a whine.

“Yes I can. I’m a doctor, remember?” Brian replied with a smirk.

“What? No, I mean you can’t take off today. You hired me so you could go to work. That was the whole point of this, remember?”

“Oh that, it’s no big deal. I’m owed lots of comp time. I just decided to cash in a few hours,” Brian said, casually.

“Brian…”

“Look Justin, it’s no big deal. Janet agreed to stay for the week so I don’t have to worry about them and I more than deserve to take a day off. Now you can lie there all day and argue with me, or you can let me run those tests so we can out of here sooner. It’s your call.”

Justin wanted to continue his protest, but he could see the determined look on Brian’s face and knew there was no point. He was never going to win and he desperately wanted Brian to sign his release papers. “Fine, run your tests, but hurry up. I really want to get out of here,” he agreed with a smile.

Brian returned his smile and then went in search of the nurse, anxious to get the lab work done so he could get Justin out of there. Two hours later they were in Brian’s car on the way back to the house. Justin sat in the passenger’s seat in silence, staring out at the scenery as they drove by, and Brian sensed something was on his mind.

“You’re doing it again,” he finally said, breaking the silence.

“Doing what?” Justin asked curiously.

“Thinking too much.”

“Sorry, it’s a bad habit of mine,” Justin chuckled. “Thanks again, Brian. You’ve been really wonderful to Jason and me. Who knows where Jason and I would be right now if it wasn’t for you.”

“It’s no big deal. I needed someone to look after the kids and the house has more than enough room. I really didn’t do anything special,” Brian said, almost embarrassed by Justin’s praise.

“You’re not very comfortable with praise, are you Dr. Kinney?” Justin teased, noticing a slight blush across Brian’s face.

“It’s not something I heard often in my life,” Brian admitted.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true, just ask anyone who knows me. They’ll tell you what a selfish prick I am,” Brian assure him.

“Well, if that’s what they think, then they don’t know you at all. I’ve known you for less than a week and even I know you’ve got a heart of gold. Now learn how to take a compliment, alright?” Justin demanded gently, smiling as Brian’s blush deepened.

“I’ll work on it,” Brian replied, wondering what he got himself into on the night he met the blond beside him. If the strange feeling in his chest at the man’s praise was anything to go by, he was in big trouble.


End of part 1
05/11/05

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