Going the Distance
Chapter 13
By the time Brian and Justin got back to Pittsburgh, both of them were extremely
exhausted from the long, emotional weekend. Jennifer picked them up at the
airport and could see the dark circles under Brian’s eyes.
“Brian, how’re you doing?” she asked in her motherly way.
“I’m alright Mrs. Taylor. It was just a busy weekend and all I want to do now is
sleep for the next week,” he chuckled, warmed by her concern.
“Please Brian; call me Jennifer. Why don’t you just come back with Justin and
me? You can have dinner with us and I’ll drive you back to the dorms
afterwards.”
“That sounds good to me. I’m starving and the last thing I want to do is grab
something to eat at school. Thanks Mrs…Jennifer,” Brian replied.
“What’s for dinner?” Justin asked, his stomach growling for his mother’s
cooking.
“I made a pot roast with brown potatoes.”
“Mmm…My favorite,” Justin pointed out with a smile.
Once they reached the house, Jennifer finished preparing dinner and they sat
around the table talking about the trip, leaving out the personal moments. Brian
couldn’t help but notice how nice it was that the Taylor’s talked about their
day during dinner. He briefly wondered if Jack and Joan used to do that before
everything fell apart, but then pushed those thoughts away, refusing to live by
what-ifs.
“Just give me about fifteen minutes to clean up here and then I’ll take you
home, Brian,” Jennifer said after they’d all finished eating.
“No problem, Jennifer. Take your time.”
Brian and Justin went upstairs to wait, wanting a little time alone. They lay
down on Justin’s bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, talking quietly.
“I’m going to miss having you in my arms at night,” Brian admitted softly.
“I know what you mean,” Justin agreed. “It was nice having you so close for the
last three days.”
“Maybe we should start thinking about getting our own place,” Brian said,
laughing at the shocked look that appeared on Justin’s face. “I don’t mean right
now. I’m going to be in the dorms for the rest of this year, but maybe next year
we could find a small apartment off campus. That should give you time to get
some things in order, right?”
Justin could feel tears building behind his eyes as Brian’s suggestion and
hugged him tightly, trying to will them away. “I love you so much,” he
whispered.
“I love you, too.”
Twenty minutes later, Jennifer knocked lightly on Justin’s door then walked
inside to find Brian and Justin sound asleep. She smiled slightly to herself
before closing the door. She knew they were tired not only from the emotional
weekend, but also for the time change they had to adjust to. She figured she’d
let them sleep and just wake Brian up early enough to get back to school incase
he had an early class.
She walked back down stairs and joined her husband on the couch, all set to
watch the news.
“Aren’t you driving Brian home?” Craig asked as she snuggled up next to him.
“They’re both sound asleep and I don’t want to wake them. They must be
exhausted.”
“They’re asleep? Together? I don’t know if I like this, Jennifer,” Craig replied
angrily.
“Craig, first of all they just spent the weekend alone together in California.
If anything is going on between them, which I’m sure there is since I remember
what we used to do at eighteen, I’m sure it was going on then. I doubt if they
would wait until they got home. Second of all, it’s time we faced reality. Our
son is gay,” she stated vehemently.
“Jenn, I know that he thinks he is, but…”
“Come on Craig; let’s get our heads out of the sand. I was just as skeptical as
you in the beginning, but not anymore. I see the way he is with Brian. He really
cares about him; maybe even loves him. We can’t keep pretending anymore.”
“What do they know about love?” Craig asked.
“Probably about as much as we did at their age and look at us now. Nineteen
years later and we’re still together and I think I love you more now than I did
then,” she said softly.
“I still can’t believe we’re going to be married twenty years next month. It
seems like just yesterday that I was trying to find a way to get you to go out
with me.” Craig smiled at the memory.
“Remember how hard it was for us in the beginning?”
“Yeah; your father thought I wasn’t good enough for you and that you were too
young to date. We had to sneak around for months until he finally relented and
gave us permission to be together.”
“Exactly. Nothing could keep us apart. I’m sure Brian and Justin feel the same
way. I don’t want to be like my parents. I don’t want to make Justin feel like
he has to hide; that he can’t come to us with whatever is going on in his life.
He’s been through so much already. We were given a miracle when he got his sight
back. Let’s not ruin it by pushing him away.”
Craig sighed, knowing what Jennifer was saying was true. It was a miracle that
Justin could see. He didn’t want to ruin that. “You’re right, Jenn. I’m not
homophobic, you know. I just hate to think about how hard Justin’s life is going
to be. Gay people still aren’t as accepted as they should be. I hate to think of
him being hurt by being who he is.”
“I know Honey; I don’t want that either, but no matter what his future holds, it
will be easier for him because he will have two parents who love him and support
him no matter what.”
“Yeah, he will.” Craig wrapped his arms around Jennifer as they sat together on
the couch watching TV.
The next two weeks had turned crazy. After Brian’s suggestion that he and Justin
live together the following year, Justin seemed to become obsessed with learning
all he needed to know to catch up with other eighteen year olds. He took on a
few tutors that came to his house and was thriving in his studies. The only
problem was that although Brian was happy that Justin was learning, he was a
little resentful of the lack of time they had together. By the time Billy flew
into the city, Brian was thrilled to have someone to help occupy his free time.
As he stood in the airport and watched Billy approach him, he couldn’t help the
smile that appeared on his face.
“Hey Billy, how was your flight?” Brian asked after they embraced.
“Boring as shit. Where’s Blondie? He didn’t come with you?” Billy asked as they
began making their way towards the door.
“No, he’s with his tutor,” Brian replied dryly.
“His tutor? So he’s finally learning what he missed all those years? Good for
him,” Billy said before noticing a strange look cross his cousins face. “Uh oh,
what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Come on, I parked over here.” Brian led Billy towards his car.
Once they were inside and on the road, Billy brought up the subject of Justin
again. “So, how’s Justin doing with the tutor?”
“Okay I guess.”
“Brian, are you going to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours or are
you going to make me use my imagination?” Billy asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian mumbled.
“I’m talking about the look you get on your face every time I mention Justin.
It’s almost as if you swallowed a bug. Now tell me what’s got you so upset,”
Billy demanded gently.
“Nothing really, it’s just that…ever since he started meeting with these tutors
we haven’t been able to spend much time together. I mean between my classes and
work, we didn’t have a lot of time before…but now…” Brian’s voice trailed off.
“Oh, so in other words, you want to go back to the way things used to be; you
having a life and Justin sitting at home waiting for you.”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Isn’t it? Why is it okay for you to be busy with school and work but Justin’s
not allowed to spend his time learning something that he should have been
learning in the last eighteen years?” Billy prodded.
“I just miss him, alright? We used to have a lot more time together.”
“Yeah, and he used to be blind. Do you want everything to go back to the way it
used to be?”
“Of course not!” Brian exclaimed, irritated by Billy’s question.
“Then get over yourself and allow Justin to have a life without making him feel
guilty about it.”
“I’m not making him feel guilty about anything. He doesn’t even know that
I’m…upset,” Brian replied.
“Are you sure about that? I’ve been here twenty minutes and I already noticed.
Justin’s a smart guy who absolutely worships you. Guaranteed he knows something
is bothering you and has been racking his brain trying to figure out what’s
wrong.”
Brian thought about what Billy was saying and knew he was probably right. Justin
was smart and could usually tell when Brian had other things on his mind.
“You’re probably right. I’ll talk to him as soon as I get a chance. I know what
he’s doing is important. My life has changed so much in the last couple of
months, I guess I just didn’t want anything else to change for awhile,” he
sighed.
“Sometimes change is good, Bri. Trust me,” Billy assured him.
The rest of the ride was spent with Billy and Brian talking about the future and
what it would mean if Billy took the transfer and moved to Pittsburgh.
Justin was sitting in his room talking to Daphne after his tutor had left for
the day.
“I just don’t understand it, Daph. Two weeks ago, Brian talked about us moving
in together after his first year was over but ever since we had that
conversation he’s seems to have gotten weird,” Justin explained to his friend.
“What do you think happened?”
“I don’t know but I’m beginning to think he’s changed his mind. Why else would
he get all weird?” Justin said.
“I don’t think that’s it, Justin. Why would he even mention it if he wasn’t sure
it was what he wanted?” Daphne had a strange feeling that something else was
going on with Brian. When they were together, there was never any doubt how much
they meant to each other.
“I don’t know. Maybe he was so emotional about his parents that he asked without
thinking…or he thought he wanted it until he really thought about how it would
change his life…or maybe…he met someone else.” The last thought was the one that
really had Justin upset. As much as he wanted to live with Brian, he’d rather
find out that it was all a case of cold feet then to even think about losing
Brian to someone else.
“Oh Justin, I’m sure it’s not someone else. Brian loves you. Anyone who knows
the two of you can see it. Have you tried talking to him about it?”
“Not really. I’m too afraid of what his answer’s going to be. Besides, we
haven’t seen each other that much lately. Between his job and school and my
tutors and studying…I’m lucky I’ve seen him at all,” Justin sighed.
“Well you need to sit him down and talk to him; find out what’s bothering him.
It might not even be you. Maybe he’s just having a hard time with things right
now. I mean, the guy just lost both of his parents. He might just need some time
to adjust to it all.”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll talk to him as soon as we get a chance to be alone,
but who knows when that will be. He’s at the airport right now picking Billy up
for the weekend.”
“Just don’t wait too long. I hate watching you mope around all the time,” Daphne
said, only half teasing.
“I don’t mope,” Justin replied indignantly before smiling. “Well, not much
anyway. I promise I’ll talk to him as soon as I can.”
“Okay, now how about we get back to reading?” Daphne suggested as she picked up
the book again.
“Slave driver,” Justin teased lovingly. He was so happy when Daphne had agreed
to help him practice his reading. He felt like such a little kid as he tried
sounding out the words he didn’t know, but his tutor told him that if he wanted
to speed up the learning process, he had to practice a lot. He wished he could
spend the time with Brian, but he was too embarrassed to have his boyfriend hear
him reading like a five year old. He’d just have to keep making excuses for why
he was so busy until he had a better handle on his reading.
Billy followed Brian into his dorm room, taking note of the gorgeous guys
hanging around the hallway. Once they were inside with the door closed, he
commented on the eye candy through out the building.
“Yeah, but sadly most of them are straight. They’re really great guys though;
they all know Ben and I are gay and they’re okay with it,” Brian said as he
dumped his wallet and keys on the dresser.
“Ben?”
“Yeah, he’s my room mate. You’ll meet him in a little while, but he agreed to
stay with a friend down the hall while his room mate is out of town so that you
can have his bed,” Brian explained.
‘That’s cool. So he’s gay, huh? That must’ve made it a lot easier on you.”
“Yeah, it did. I actually came out accidentally to him. Justin and I had some
problems when I first came here and he caught me at a bad moment. I told him
what was going without thinking about what I was admitting to. He was really
cool about it, telling me that he was gay and giving me some really good advice.
We’ve become really good friends since then.”
Before Billy had a chance to reply, the door opened and the subject of their
conversation walked through.
“Hey Brian, how’s it going?” Ben asked before noticing the gorgeous guy standing
by the closet. “I…uh…take it this is Billy?”
“Yeah, I’m uh…Billy Kinney. Nice to meet you,” Billy said as he offered his
hand. The minute his hand touched Ben’s he felt a jolt shoot right to his groin.
Ben was hot. His beefy build and blue eyes caused a reaction that Billy never
felt before.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Ben replied, feeling a strange heat course through him
at their contact.
Brian looked back and forth between his room mate and his cousin, noticing the
interest he saw in their eyes; interest they had for each other and suddenly he
had an idea.
“Hey Ben, Billy and I were going to go grab dinner in a little while. Why don’t
you come with us?”
“What? Oh, uh…I don’t want to intrude,” Ben stammered.
“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Billy said rather quickly. “Besides, I’m sure
Justin’s coming with us, right?”
Brian sighed before replying. “I haven’t asked him yet. I thought he might be
busy.”
“Oh please; of course he won’t be busy. Give me your phone.” Billy waited until
Brian handed him his cell phone and hit Justin’s number on speed dial, waiting
for him to answer.
“Hey Brian,” Justin answered.
“Think again Blondie; it’s the cuter cousin,” Billy teased.
Justin laughed at Billy’s antics. “Hey Billy, how was your flight?”
“Uneventful. Not one prospect for the mile high club. Hopefully the return
flight will have a little more action,” Billy laughed. “Anyway, Brian, Ben, and
I are going to go grab dinner in a little while. You’re coming with us, right?”
“Uh…I guess. What time should I be ready?” Justin replied uncertainly.
“We’ll pick you up in about an hour. Make sure you wear something sexy for me,
Blondie.” Billy loved to tease Justin and he knew him well enough to know that
Justin would be blushing on the other end.
“You’re such a flirt,” Justin chuckled. “I’ll be ready.”
“Okay, that’s solved,” Billy said as he disconnected the call. “Now Brian, why
don’t you go change into something a little less scholarly while Ben and I get
acquainted?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna go jump in the shower. I’ll be out in a few,” Brian said as he
grabbed a fresh pair of jeans.
Once Brian was in the bathroom and had the water running, Billy started
questioning Ben. “What’s going on with Brian and Justin?”
“Nothing that I know of? Why? Did Brian say something?” Ben asked in confusion.
“He mentioned that Justin has been really busy lately and he seems pretty down
about it. He hasn’t said anything to you?”
“No; not a word. What about Justin? How did he seem when you asked him to come
with us tonight?”
“He seemed hesitant, but agreed to go. I just saw them two weeks ago and
everything seemed fine. I don’t know what happened since then, but we have to do
something. I’ve never seen Brian as happy as he is when he’s with Justin,” Billy
admitted.
“Well I didn’t know Brian before Justin, but I can see how happy they are
together. What do you think we should do?” Ben was willing to do anything to
help his friends work things out.
“Okay, here’s my plan…”
End of part 13
11/03/04
Return to Going the Distance