Love Conquers All

Part 8

Justin couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. His heart skipped a beat and his brain couldn’t conjure up a reply. He’d waited for more than two years to hear those words come out of Brian's mouth, and the joy he felt was definitely worth waiting for. All he had to do was to figure out what to do next. Although he wanted to go running back to the loft and to the man he loved, he knew he had to go slow. Brian needed time to sort out his feelings. Justin had no doubt that Brian loved him, but he needed Brian to realize it for himself. After so many years of shutting off his feelings, Justin wanted to make sure Brian knew what he was getting into. Once Justin moved back into the loft, he had no intentions of leaving again. Brian needed to be sure this was what he wanted, but time didn't matter. Now that Brian had finally admitted to loving him, Justin was willing to wait to finally get what he had been dreaming about for over two years.

Brian was scared. He finally opened up to Justin and admitted to him that he loved him, and he got nothing but silence in return. What was he going to do if he was too late? What if Justin decided Brian wasn't worth the wait? He didn't think he would survive that. Brian was surprised to realize that he had tears silently rolling down his face. How could he have gotten himself into this mess? He knew he should’ve just gotten into his jeep that night so long ago and run as fast as he could. His immediate reaction to Justin was like nothing he ever felt before. He should’ve stayed away, but now he was in too deep, with no way out. He needed to end the silence on the other end of the phone.

"Listen, obviously this isn't what you wanted to hear tonight. Why don't we just hang up now and you can call me in a few weeks. That is, if you want to," Brian said quickly.

Justin was suddenly confused. Brian just gave him the greatest gift of his life by telling him he loved him, and then he tries to push him away? 'I don't think so' Justin thought to himself before replying.

"Don't you dare hang up this phone Brian Kinney! Who do you think you are calling me up in the middle of the night, telling me you love me, then hanging up before I even have a chance to respond?"

"I just...I thought..." Brian stammered nervously.

"You thought what?"

"I just thought that maybe I was too late. Maybe you decided I wasn't worth the wait?" Brian admitted

"Not worth the wait? Boy that is some head injury you have. Brian, haven't you listened to anything I’ve said to you? I love you. You’re always in my thoughts, my dreams, and my heart. You always will be. You’ve just made me the happiest man on earth. There’s nothing in this world that I want more than your love. Do you understand that?" Justin replied honestly.

Brian breathed a sigh of relief and couldn't help the little sob that escaped. In the moments during Justin's silence, Brian was really worried. He really felt that he lost the one thing in life that he really wanted; another chance to show Justin that he could be the man he needed. Now all he had to do was learn to become that man. Well, one step at a time. Justin's voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Brian? Did you hear me? You’re the one that I love; the one that I want to be with. You never have to doubt my feelings for you,” Justin assured him.

“Justin, it’s my turn now. You know that the one thing I am is honest, and I have to be honest with you. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m not even sure I know where to go from here. I know what you want. I know you want to have a relationship, but what if I can’t do that? What if I can’t be who you want me to be? Words don’t come easy for me. I’ve been trying to work on it, but I don’t know if I can make you happy, and I have to tell you...I’m scared. What if I screw it up? I can’t watch you walk away from me again. I just can’t do it.” Brian was beginning to wonder if he was spending too much time with Lindsay, because he was suspiciously starting to sound like a lesbian.

“Wow Brian, I don’t know what to say. I’m not used to this new Brian. There’re no guarantees in life, but I promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to make this work. I won’t just give up on you again. That’s the best I can do. Does that help?”

“What would really help would be for you to get that cute little bubble butt of yours over here. I’m lonely in this big old bed all by myself.”

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” Justin replied with a smile.

And with that the line went dead. Brian put the phone down and took a deep breath, wiping the tears from his eyes. He couldn’t believe the emotions he was feeling at the moment. Justin was on his way over and Brian couldn’t be happier. He wasn’t going to screw this up. He couldn’t. Not this time.

As Justin got ready to leave, Daphne appeared in his doorway.

“Where are you going? It’s 2:00 in the morning,” she asked.

Justin looked at her with a smug look on his face, excitement bubbling up inside him. “I’m going home!”

Daphne looked a little confused. “Home? I thought this was your home now?” She looked a little hurt.

The last thing Justin wanted to do was hurt his friend. “Daph, you aren’t going to believe this. Brian just told me he loved me. He wants me back. Can you believe it? I am actually going to be with Brian, really be with him after all these years.”

Justin had tears in his eyes but Daphne could see the joy in his face. She was a little skeptical about Brian’s intentions, but she would never try to stand in the way of Justin’s happiness. She loved him dearly. He was her best friend, and all she wanted was for him to be happy. She would hope for the best and be there to pick up the pieces if he needed her to. In the mean time, she threw her arms around Justin in a giant hug.

“Justin, I’m so happy for you. What are you doing standing here with me? Get over there and show him what he’s been missing. Take my car. It’ll get you there faster. I’ll get it back sometime tomorrow. I love you Justin. Just do me one favor? Remember, I’m always here for you. If you need me, call. I’ll be there.” Daphne moved out of Justin’s way and watched with joy as Justin raced out to the man he loved. And who knew? Maybe people can change. For Justin’s sake she sure hoped so.

Brian started getting very anxious as he lay in bed waiting for Justin to show up. He knew he did the right thing in telling Justin how he felt, but he couldn't help but feel like opening up could only lead to pain. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door sliding open.

"Brian? I'm here," Justin called out as he slid the door closed behind him.

"I'm in bed. Forgive me for not getting up. Come here," Brian replied.

Justin put down the bag he brought with him and slowly made his way to the bedroom, his heart in his throat. He thought about telling Brian he wasn't coming. That they needed more time, but the sound of Brian trying to hold back his tears was too much for Justin to take. His heart was so full of love at that moment for the little boy who grew up in a house without love. Craig Taylor may have turned into a homophobic prick, but at least he was there for Justin while he was growing up. Although Justin couldn't excuse all the times Brian pushed him away, claiming he didn't believe in love, he knew how hard it was for Brian to admit his love on the phone. The least Justin could do was meet him half way. Justin stopped in the doorway at the vision of Brian, lying in bed under the blue lights. There weren’t any words that could describe the feelings racing through Justin.

“Hey,” Justin whispered, a part of him still fearing he was going to wake up in his bed at Daphne’s and find out this was all a dream.

“Hey,” Brian replied, not sure of what to say.

He was so happy that Justin was there, but he felt a little strange after all that was said on the phone. Well, he was just going to have to jump in with both feet and see what happened next.

“What are you doing all the way over there? Come here.” Brian held his breath, hoping Justin would just climb into bed and settle into his arms. He knew that they still had some things to work out; he just hoped that they could wait until the light of day to start working on their future. All he wanted at that moment was to think about the present. To be able to hold his Sunshine and put away all the bad feelings he had in the last six months.

Justin began to undress. He could feel Brian’s eyes on him so of course he had to give him a little show, slowly removing each piece of clothing, until he stood there in his underwear. The sight of Brian waiting for him filled him with warmth he hadn’t felt since the night he remembered the prom, the first time they had made love. He climbed in bed and was immediately engulfed in Brian’s strong arms. He knew at that moment that there was no where else he would rather be. They had a long way to go before things were right between them, but this was definitely a start.

Brian spoke first. “Justin, I don’t know what to say, but I feel that something needs to be said. Things have always been so powerful with us. Somehow, you have managed to turn my life upside down and inside out. I’ve tried to fight it, to fight you, but you got past my walls. I’ve always said I don’t believe in love. Well, you’ve taught me that love is possible, once you find the right person. I don’t know what’ll happen from here. All I know is that right now, at this very moment, I feel more at peace then I ever have. I have to thank you for that. Thank you for showing me what love is.” Brian could feel the tears in his eyes again and wondered what this man had done to him.

Justin didn’t know how to respond to what Brian had just said. He had so many feelings inside but he knew he couldn’t say them with the lump of emotion he had in his throat, so he said the first thing that came to mind. "Thank you, for showing me your love. As long as we have love, we can conquer anything."

The End

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