Love Conquers All

Part 7

As Brian watched Justin go grab himself a beer, he thought about all they had been through, and for the first time in his life Brian was scared. He felt so much for the young man in front of him. Unfortunately he wasn't sure what his feelings were or what to do with them. All he knew was that he had to do something fast. Whatever his feelings were, he knew he couldn't let Justin walk out of his life for good. Brian was so caught up in his own thoughts that he jumped at the sound of Justin's voice.

"What?" Brian asked.

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you? This is so typical of you Brian. I was saying that it is none of your business where I've been or who I was with. I moved in here to help you when you needed it, not to be treated like a child. In case you haven’t noticed, I'm all grown up now. I don't need to have someone looking after me anymore. I can take care of myself." Justin yelled, becoming more agitated as he spoke.

"Oh really? Those fading bruises seem to say otherwise," Brian replied his voice as cold as ice.

He still couldn't believe that Justin would allow something like that to continue. Just the thought of anyone laying a hand on Justin was enough to cause Brian to consider murder. How dare that little shit hurt him? Well, there was no need to worry about that now. Brian would take care of him once he got out of the wheelchair.


Coming out of his thoughts, Brian realized Justin was packing his things. His heart started beating out of his chest as Brian approached Justin carefully. "What are you doing?"

"Leaving," Justin said in a calm voice. The only signs of emotion showing were the tears running down his face. "You're right. I can't take care of myself, but it's not your job to take care of me. I think it's about time I started taking care of myself. I’ve spent so much time trying to get you to love me that I forgot how to love myself. I need to figure out who I am and where to go from here. I can't do that living here. You can go back to your tricking and only thinking about yourself and forget all about me. I'll be just fine."

Justin finished, grabbing his stuff and heading for the door. As he slid the door open he heard Brian mumble something under his breath. "What?" Justin asked.

"I said I can't! I can't forget about you! Don't you think I've tried? Ever since the night you walked out I’ve tried to go back to my old ways. I’ve tried to forget you. It's just not that easy. It would seem that you are unforgettable." Brian let out a little laugh at his last comment.

"What?" Justin asked again, afraid he misunderstood what Brian had said.

"I said you’re unforgettable. Do I have to spell it out for you?" Brian joked, hoping that his confession was enough for now because he didn't know what else to say. He needed time to figure out his feelings, whatever they were. He should have known Justin wouldn't let it end there.

"I'm unforgettable? What are you saying?" Justin asked.

"I'm not sure. I just know that I don't want you to walk out that door." Brian replied.

Justin stood there looking at the man he loved, hoping that he was hearing correctly.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?" Brian asked.

"No. I think you're finally starting to say things right. But I still have to leave," Justin replied.

Brian's heart stopped beating. He tried to bring down the so called walls everyone claimed he had and just got it thrown back in his face. "Well leave then, you little twat. I don't care," Brian spat as he wheeled away feeling like he got punched in the stomach.

"Yes you do, Brian. I have been waiting for months for you to come out and say that you care, and you have no idea the joy I am feeling right now. I don't want to leave, I have to. I need some time. Everything with us has been whirlwind. I need to step back and take a deep breath and I think you do, too. Just take this time to figure out what you want. We can't keep hurting each other this way. If you need me, call my cell, because I'm not sure where I'll be staying. Otherwise I'll give you a call in a couple of weeks and we can talk then." Justin turned to leave, but stopped to say one last thing before his departure. "Brian, while you are thinking about what to do next, keep one thing in mind. I love you, and want nothing more then to move back in here with you, but you know what I want. I won't settle for less. I can't."

Justin walked over to Brian and gave him a soft, lingering kiss that felt like a cold glass of tea on a hot summer day. He then turned and raced out of the loft before he forgot all about his plan to give them space and begged Brian to take him back no matter what. 'Boy' Justin thought to himself as he walked down Tremont Street. 'If Brian didn't call him soon, it was going to be a very long 2 weeks. Unsure of where he was going, Justin pulled out his cell phone to call Daphne. He really didn't want to call his mother or Deb. He needed neutral ground to work out the thoughts in his head. After Daphne assured him that he could stay with her for awhile, Justin started to feel a little better. He just hoped Brian was going to be okay. He hadn't been left alone for long periods of time since the accident. Well, Brian was a big boy. He could take care of himself. The only person Justin was going to worry about was himself.


Brian sat in his chair for a long time, staring at the door that Justin walked out of. Even though Justin said it was only temporary, that they needed space, Brian couldn't help feeling that things weren't looking good for them. He needed to find a way to tell Justin how he felt. All he had to do was figure out exactly how he felt. How was he suppose to claim to love Justin, if he didn't even know what love was? He knew he wanted to go to sleep every night with Justin in his bed, and he wanted him there with him in the mornings. He also knew he couldn't imagine having Justin gone from his life for good. Was that love? Brian wasn’t sure, but time was running out. He had to get his thoughts together and figure out what to do next. The loft seemed so empty now. Brian decided to try to get some sleep. He had therapy the next day and he was going to give it all he had. His life was out of control right now, but that was the one thing he was sure of. He needed to get out of the chair and get on with his life. He needed to get back to work. He needed to play with his son. He needed to feel whole again. After he finally got himself settled in bed he realized just how tired he was. He drifted off to sleep in a matter of minutes.

Across town, Justin was also settling himself down for the night. He was sure that sleep would not come quickly. His mind was racing around all that had happened that day. He hoped he didn't ruin any chance he might have had with Brian. He just new he had to be honest and admit that he needed more then just a roommate. He needed a partner, and he couldn't settle for anything less. As Justin fell asleep, his thoughts were of the beautiful man across town, and his prayers were filled with the hopes that Brian could admit his love and offer the relationship that Justin knew they were meant to have. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Brian awoke a few hours later in a cold sweat. He called out to Justin before he realized that he was alone in the loft. He didn't like feeling so alone. He had an uneasy feeling inside. Knowing he should just roll over and go to sleep, he reached for the phone. His mind told him he was just checking to make sure Justin got settled, but his heart told him differently. Justin answered on the third ring:

"Hello?"

"It's me," Brian whispered.

"Brian? What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"I guess," Brian replied softly.

"You guess? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Justin sat up in bed, wide awake and worried.

"Yeah, you left."

"Brian, are you alright? You sound kind of weird," Justin questioned.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I woke up and you weren't here. I didn't like it," Brian admitted.

"What are you talking about? You love being alone, remember? The loft is only big enough for one person, that's you."

"Yeah well, I changed my mind. It's more then big enough for two. Come home so I can show you."

"Home? I don't have a home; I just have places to stay,” Justin pointed out.

"No, this is your home. This will always be your home no matter where you stay. You’re always welcome here."

"Brian, why are you calling me?" Justin sighed in frustration.

"I told you. I didn't like waking up and not having you here. Why don't you just come home?"

"I can't. We need this time apart to figure out what it is that we want."

"That's bullshit. You’ve just had enough of nursing a cripple. You did your good deed, now you're moving on."

"That's not it and you know it. Now Brian, why don't you try to go back to sleep. I’ll talk to you soon. I love you." Justin whispered softly before finding the strength to hang up the phone.

Brian heard the line go dead. "I love you, too." Brian said to the empty loft. He had no idea what to do next.


Over the next couple of days, Brian threw all his energy into his therapy. He wanted to put the whole accident behind him and move on. He was sick of being in a wheelchair and having to rely on other people. He wanted his life back and once he got that he was going to get Justin back. He couldn't sleep after the phone call with Justin so he sat up all night deciding what he wanted. He wanted Justin in his life. He knew that much. Now he just had to figure out what his next move was.

One day, after a really good therapy session, he had an idea. On the way home he asked Lindsay to stop at the florist. When she looked at him with shock in her eyes, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Don't ask questions, just please stop for me and mind your own business."

Brian went inside and arranged to have a dozen red roses sent to Justin. He signed the card...Miss Me Yet? Brian...He had them sent to Daphne's because he figured that would most likely be where Justin would go to prove that he could take care of himself. He wouldn't want to go to his mom's or Deb's. After that was done, he went home to lie down. All the extra work he had been doing at therapy was working at getting him walking again, but it was very exhausting.


Justin had another really long day at the diner. He had been working double shifts ever since leaving the loft. All he wanted to do was take a long, hot shower and go to bed. When he got back to Daphne's, she was at the door with a silly grin on her face.

"Before you say anything, I've had a long day and all I want to do is take a long hot shower and relax. I’ll come down and talk to you when I'm done."

He went right upstairs without giving her time to tell him about his delivery. As he stood under the shower, Justin realized how mean to his friend after everything she had done for him. He knew he needed to apologize as soon as he got out of the shower. After standing under the spray until the water started to run cool, he got out and got dressed and headed downstairs to apologize. He shouldn’t have snapped at Daphne. It wasn't her fault his life was a mess. As he entered the tiny kitchen, he saw Daphne sitting at the table admiring a beautiful bouquet of red roses.

"Wow. You must have done something right. Those are beautiful." Justin went over to smell the flowers.

"No. Obviously you did something right. They're from Brian." Daphne replied.

Justin almost fell over from shock. He needed to sit down. "What do you mean they're from Brian? Brian doesn't do roses!" Justin exclaimed in a daze. He didn't know what to think. He knew Brian was acting strange lately, but this was just too much to absorb.

"I mean, Brian sent the roses. He must really love you. What are you going to do?" Daphne asked.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that I’ve had a long day and I need to go lay down. Goodnight Daphne."

Justin gave Daphne a kiss and headed up to his room. He needed time to think. He didn't know what to think of the flowers. He didn't know what to make of anything anymore. All this thinking was starting to give Justin a headache. He laid on his bed trying to shut out the world. He was so tired from not sleeping lately that he fell asleep in minutes. Justin woke up to the sound of his cell phone a few hours later. He knew who it was before he even answered it.

"Hey."

“Hey," Brian said when he heard Justin’s voice.

"How’re you doing? Is everything okay?"

"I'm still alone, so no, I’m not okay. I want you to come home,” Brian said once again.

"Brian, other then staying with you while you were recovering, I’ve been gone for months. Why all of the sudden do you miss having me there?"

"What do you mean all of a sudden? I haven't slept since you left. I wake up every hour looking for you, only to find your side of the bed empty," Brian admitted softly.

Brian had a fleeting thought that he was saying too much, but he shook it off. He knew he had to open himself up to let Justin in, and that was what he wanted more than anything. To have Justin back in his loft, back in his bed, and back in his life, cause God knew he would always be in his heart.

"You haven't been sleeping? All these months? Why? I don't understand. You wanted me gone. You pushed me away," Justin asked in confusion.

"Yeah well, everyone makes mistakes; even me. I was doing what I thought was best. I knew you weren't happy here and that I couldn't give you what you wanted. He could. He was what you wanted, so I made it easy for you to go after what you were looking for. Was that so wrong?"

"Was that wrong? I don't know. You tell me. You claim you haven't been sleeping at night because I'm not there. What about your happiness?" Justin was trying to wrap his mind around what Brian was saying.

"My happiness didn't matter. Ethan was what you wanted. I gave you the freedom to get what you wanted."

"Brian, let me explain this to you carefully. Ethan was not what I wanted. I wanted to be loved. I wanted someone to tell me how special I was. Ethan did that for me. But make no mistake; you were always what I wanted. From the first night I saw you, I knew you were the one. I’ve spent two years trying to make you see that. I was at the end of my rope. Ethan was there, telling me all the things that I wanted to hear. The problem was that the words were coming from the wrong person. I gave you plenty of opportunities to tell me that I was more then just a fuck buddy, but you wouldn't do it. The night of the Rage party, I was going to try to talk to you, to tell you how I really felt. I wanted it to be a new beginning for us. But then I found you in the back room fucking Rage and I knew that I would never be enough for you. That you could never give up the tricks. So I decided to try going after the love I was so desperate to find. Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I wanted to move on and give you back the life that you wanted so bad. A life without the little stalker always getting in the way."

Justin didn't even try to hide the sobs that over took him. He was emotionally drained. He didn't intend on telling Brian all he had just revealed. He wasn't sure how Brian was going to react.

"You were never a stalker. And as for the tricks, it's funny that you left me because you figured I would never be able to give them up, considering there haven't been any since you left," Brian chuckled.

"What?"

"When was the last time you had your hearing checked? I'm starting to worry about you," Brian teased.

"I heard what you said; I just thought I heard you wrong. Are you saying that you haven't been with anyone since I left?" Justin asked.

"Very good Sunshine. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"I don't believe this! All I ever wanted was for you to keep your pants on and you wait until I leave? You push me away and break my heart and then you stop fucking everything that moves? Why?"

"Because I had to prove to myself that I could do it. I had to prove that you were important enough to me to give up my lifestyle for," Brian explained gently.

“So what are you saying?" Justin hoped that Brian was saying what he’d been waiting to hear, but needed to be sure.

"Well, Sunshine, I guess what I'm saying is that I love you."


End of Part 7

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