Love Conquers All

Part 6

Three weeks had passed since the accident and so far things had been going pretty well. The blood clot was continuing to shrink and Brian had been getting some feeling back in his legs. He still wasn’t able to walk, his legs were still pretty weak, but at least the worst was over. He was on his way back to the real world. It had been two weeks since the night Ethan had hurt Justin and neither Brian nor Justin had mentioned the things that were said between them that night. They were keeping a safe distance from each other since Justin had moved back to the couch, claiming his back hurt from what Ethan had done to him. They both knew it was an excuse to put some space between them, but nothing was ever verbalized.

Justin started working at the diner again, working split shifts so as not to leave Brian alone for long periods of time. After breakfast, he would go to the diner and work a three hour shift, go home to make Brian lunch, then go back to work until dinner time. Things seemed to be running along smoothly, until Justin took a phone call he wasn't suppose to take. It was therapy day, but Lindsay offered to take Brian to his appointment, since it was Justin's day off. She figured that he could use the break. Justin had been running non stop since Brian was released from the hospital.


After Lindsay and Brian left, Justin put on a CD and just lay down on Brian's bed, remembering a time when it was his bed, too. As he was drifting off to sleep the phone started to ring. He thought about ignoring it, but was afraid that something might have happened to Brian during his therapy session.

"Hello?" Justin answered.

"Hello. I'm looking for Brian Kinney. Is he available?" the voice on the phone asked.

"No, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"

"Yes, this is Robert Kendall from the Institute of Fine Arts. I was wondering what Mr. Kinney wanted to do about the tuition money for Justin Taylor? I could refund the money back to him, or I could just apply it to next semester. Just let him know I called, and I'll wait to hear from him before I do anything. He can reach me at the school. I'm here Monday to Friday. Thank you."

Justin mumbled a goodbye and hung up the phone. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. For all this time Justin thought he was going to school on a scholarship, when Brian was actually paying the bill; taking care of everything and still calling the shots as usual. How dare Brian try to control his life like this! Justin needed to get out of there. He needed time to think.

As Justin walked along Liberty Avenue, he thought about what he found out and decided to call his mother. He needed someone to tell him what an ass Brian was, and that was something his mother excelled at. Justin's mother answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mom, you got a minute?" Justin asked.

"Sure Sweetie, anything for you. Is everything okay? How's Brian?" She asked, with concern in her voice.

"Brian's fine. I just found out that all this time, while I thought I was on scholarship, it turns out that Brian was paying my tuition behind my back. Can you believe it?"

"I'm sure he was only trying to help, honey," Jennifer replied.

"Well he had...you knew?" Justin couldn't believe his ears. Justin was so upset that it took a minute for him to realize that his mother didn't sound surprised at all by what he had said. "You knew all this time, and you didn't tell me? How could you?" Justin felt betrayed.

"Justin, I'm sorry. Brian came to me late one night. He was drunk and on God knows what. He kept going on about how he screwed up, and how you shouldn't have to suffer because he couldn't be who you needed him to be. He said he wanted to continue paying for your school; that someone so talented needed to be given every opportunity possible. I may have had reservations where Brian was concerned, but I see that he loves you and wants the best for you. How could I deny you the chance to follow your dream?"

"How can you say that? If he loved me, why would he push me away?"

"Because, Sweetie...I don't know that much about Brian or his life, but from what you told me about his childhood, I would say he doesn't know what to do with love. He doesn't know how to say it, and he doesn't know what to do with it when he receives it. All I can say is that you need to figure out what you want to do. If you love him, you need to tell him, and then be prepared to stand by him while he figures out what to do next. He really isn't sure what love is when he sees it."

"How do you know that?" Justin asked.

"Think about it Honey, Brian almost died a few weeks ago. Did you ever see his mother at the hospital? Of course not, she doesn't know what love is either. Just be careful, it's going to be a long ride. I’ve got to run Honey. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a lot of thinking to do. Love you, Mom."

"I Love you too, Honey."

Crossing the street and heading back to the loft, Justin was confused. He was sure that his Mother would be the one to understand why he was so upset. The fact that she was on Brian’s side worried him a little.

"Why didn't she see how wrong Brian was? He can't keep trying to run my life," he said aloud as he rode the elevator to the loft.

All thoughts were forgotten when he walked in the door to find Brian asleep on the couch. He looked so beautiful and peaceful laying there that it took Justin's breath away. Any anger left in him was forgotten. He tiptoed in, careful not to wake Brian, and walked over to where the man was sleeping. Looking down at Brian in that moment, Justin knew that he was still in love with him and would do anything to make things work out for them. He wondered how he ever found the strength to walk away in the first place. When Brian started to stir, Justin moved into the kitchen to get dinner ready. He needed a few minutes to pull himself together; his emotions had gotten away from him while watching Brian sleep.

"Hey," Brian said a few minutes later.

"Hey yourself," Justin replied, having already decided to confront Brian about the tuition. "You got a call from a Mr. Kendall. He said that instead of refunding the money you paid for my tuition, he could just apply it to the next semester. He’s gonna wait to hear from you before he does anything."

Justin continued to move about the kitchen while Brian tried to find a way to explain. "I know what you're thinking, that I was trying to run your life, but that wasn't it. You needed the money, and there was no way you would’ve agreed to take it from me. You’re very talented and shouldn't have to give up your education because your father’s an asshole or because I can't give you what you think you need. Please just let me do this for you. If you want, we can go back to the original loan agreement; although you really don't have to pay me back. I make more than enough money to pay for it. Just don't turn down the opportunity to follow your dreams."

Brian held his breath waiting for Justin's reply. He couldn't believe Mr. Kendall chose to call on the one day when Justin was home alone to answer the phone. He was hoping to keep the money a secret, knowing Justin would be upset to find out Brian was behind the scholarship.

Justin stood looking at Brian and thought about what his mother had said. She was right. How was Brian supposed to know how to show his feelings when there had been no one to teach him how? He obviously cared; otherwise Justin would’ve had to drop out of school. In the two years since they had met, Brian had shown that he cared in so many ways. He let him move in twice, got him in at Debbie's, came all the way to New York when Justin tried to run away, and now the money. Justin knew at that moment that Brian did care about him. He just wasn't sure how much he cared. Was it enough to cause Brian to forget his views of love and relationships and become a real partner? 'One thing at a time' Justin thought to himself.

"Alright, I’ll take the money, but we’re going back to the original loan agreement. And the next time you do something that involves me please let me know about it."

With that, Justin finished fixing dinner and set a place at the table for Brian. He had a lot to think about, and the last thing he wanted to do was to sit at a table with Brian. He may be able to forgive him for what he did, but at that moment he was still pretty upset with Brian and wanted some time alone.

When Brian saw only one plate on the table he knew he was in trouble. Justin never passed up a meal.

"You're not eating?" Brian asked.

"No, but you go ahead. I just need some space. I'll be back soon," Justin replied before walking out the door.

Brian was left in complete silence. After watching Justin walking away, Brian lost his appetite. He went over to the liquor cabinet and stared at the closed doors. He hadn't had a drink since before the accident. The doctor said that it wasn't a good idea because the alcohol could not only cause a reaction when mixed with the medication he was on, but it could also cause him to be a little clumsy. A fall in his condition could do more damage to his back. "Well fuck the doctor," Brian said aloud to the empty room. He was getting stronger every day, and the blood clot was almost gone. One little drink wasn't going to make a difference.

Brian poured himself a glass of beam and downed it in one gulp. Reaching for the bottle again, he decided to by pass the glass. He went over to look out the window and think about what he was going to do next. Time was running out. The doctor assured him that he would regain total use of his legs again. As much as Brian couldn't wait till he could walk, he new that if he didn't do something soon, Justin would leave again, and this time it would be for good. He didn't think that he could take losing Justin a second time. The first time was hard enough. Now, on top of everything else, Justin found out about the money.

Brian continued to sit there staring out the window, drinking beam from the bottle, trying to figure out a way to bring down the walls he spent so many years building up. He just hoped that once the walls were down, things between them would come together. This was his only chance. If things didn't work out with Justin, Brian knew he would spend his life alone. He wouldn’t open up his heart to anyone again. He doubted there’d be anything left to give.

Time passed in a blur until Justin walked in hours later. Brian looked down at the empty bottle and knew that if he was smart, he would just go to bed and deal with everything in the morning when he was sober. But then, when did Brian ever do what was best?

"Hey Sunshine," Brian said as he wheeled himself over to where Justin was standing. "Are you done running away from me?" he asked with an evil grin.

Justin could smell the alcohol and knew immediately that Brian was drunk. After years of experience in dealing with Brian, Justin knew the best thing to do would be to get out of his way.

"Hey Brian," Justin said in an easy manner, trying hard to avoid the argument Brian was trying to provoke. "I wasn't running away, I just needed some time to myself."

Justin walked towards the bathroom, hoping to get out of Brian's way. He knew that with Brian's drinking, things could get out of hand and that was the last thing either of them needed. Brian still needed someone to help him around the loft and Justin didn't have anywhere to go. He knew he could always go stay at his mom's, but he had been hoping to straighten things out with Brian so that maybe he could just move from the couch to the bedroom. Justin was more convinced then ever that Brian cared; he just needed to know if there could ever be any kind of real relationship between them. Justin was willing to wait a while, but he didn't want to waste the next ten years waiting for Brian only to find out that he’ll never be able to give Justin what he wanted. If he was never going be enough for Brian, then he might as well walk away now, because as much as he loved Brian, he knew he would never be happy as just a boyfriend. He wanted to be a real partner. Justin was brought out of his thoughts by Brian's next words.

"Looked like running to me. Where were you all this time? Did you run back to your fiddle player? Decide it was better to get smacked around then have to put up with me?" Brian's eyes were filled with challenge and Justin had no choice but to accept that challenge. There was no way he was going to back down. His future depended on it.

"Alright Brian, you win. I didn't want to get into an argument with you tonight, but since you seem so determined to start this fight, I'm ready. I just hope you are, because I have a feeling things are going to get pretty intense. Do you think you can handle it?" Justin asked with an evil look in his eyes.

Seeing the look on Justin's face, Brian wondered what he got himself into. He got the feeling it was going to be a long night.

End of part 6

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