Love Conquers All

Part 5

During the course of the next few days, Brian and Justin settled into a routine. Brian was still trying to be as independent as possible, but he did ask for help when he needed it. Physical Therapy was going pretty good. Getting him there was half the battle. There was still no way Brian could get himself into the jeep, and he didn't want to have to rely on Lindsay. It was bad enough he needed Justin to help him with all that he did. That was all he could handle at the moment. So they had to take a cab to and from the hospital. After therapy, Brian was always exhausted, and usually pretty grumpy, so Justin tried to stay out of his way. On one of those days, Justin figured he would use the time to pick up his things from Ethan's apartment. He waited until he got Brian settled.

"Brian," Justin called from the bathroom. Brian was already lying down and half asleep. "I'm going to go run some errands. Do you need anything before I go? I'll be gone a couple of hours."

"Leave me alone. I'll be fine. I don't need a babysitter," Brian replied angrily.

Justin was used to the mood swings by now so the fact that Brian yelled at him didn't even upset him anymore. "Okay. I'll have my cell phone if you need me."

Justin was almost to the door when he heard a very faint "take the jeep."

"Are you sure? You never let me drive it before," Justin asked.

"I said take the jeep," Brian stated in a much firmer voice.

"Thanks. I'll be back soon," Justin said as he grabbed the keys off the counter and raced out of the loft. He didn't know what caused the change of heart where the jeep was concerned, but Justin wasn't about to question it too much. It would be much easier to get his things home from Ethan's with his own transportation.

As Justin was driving the short distance to the apartment, he found himself hoping that Ethan wouldn't be home. He really didn't want to see the man right now; not after the way he acted the night before. He still had his key. He could let himself in, get his things and leave the key on the counter with a note letting Ethan know he’d been there. It may be the easy way out, but it seemed the best way to go.

As Justin opened the door to the apartment, he was happy to see that he was alone. He didn't really own a lot of stuff, having moved around a lot since leaving home two years earlier. It took about fifteen minutes to get his stuff together, write the note, and leave the key. Just as he was getting ready to leave, Ethan came home.

"Hey, I was just getting ready to leave. I was going to put the key on the counter with a note letting you know that I was here," Justin said, hearing the nervousness in his voice.

Ethan didn't look happy. He just stood there staring at Justin for a moment, before he started to speak. "What?" he yelled at Justin. "After all that we have been through, you were gonna sneak out and leave a note? You ungrateful bastard. How dare you come here, letting yourself in with MY key as if you own the place, to pack your things and run out of here without as much as a goodbye? Where are your things? I want to make sure you get all of it. I don't want any reminder of you in my place."

Justin took a deep breath before replying, "They are downstairs. I already put them in the jeep."

Ethan's face grew red with anger. "Isn't that fucking sweet? You're driving his jeep now, too?" Justin felt tears begin to build up behind his eyes at the hateful words, but that only seemed to anger Ethan even more. "What's the hell are the tears for? You got what you wanted for now. But you better enjoy it while you can. You’ll never be enough for him. He'll always be fucking everyone in sight. It's what he does. Maybe one day I'll give him a try? You always said how good he was in bed!"

Justin knew that Ethan was just lashing out because of the pain he was going through, so he tried to let it go. All he wanted to do was get back to the loft. "You do what you need to do, Ethan. I really am sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you."

As Justin tried to walk by, Ethan grabbed him by the arms with great force. "What the fuck do you mean, you're sorry? That's not good enough." With that, Ethan pulled Justin to him, kissing him hard and forcing his tongue into Justin's mouth violently.

Justin was scared. He hated it when Ethan lost his temper. It didn't happen often, but when it did, things always got out of control. Justin could taste blood in his mouth. It took all of his strength to push Ethan away, but that just seemed to infuriate him even more.

"You little whore! If you can give it up for Brian, you can give it up for me." Ethan slapped Justin across the face before shoving him across the room. Justin landed against the coffee table with a loud crash. He quickly scrambled to his feet, ignoring the pain. "Ethan, you're hurting me. Stay away," he yelled, hoping to get Ethan to calm down.

In the beginning, things were great between them. After a while though, Justin started to notice little things that used to send Ethan into a rage. Once that happened, no one was safe. He only hurt Justin a few times, but he was always sorry after it was over. Justin figured he deserved it for the way he treated Brian, like it was some kind of punishment, so he tolerated it; trying hard to keep him happy, so he had no reason to fly into a rage. If Brian hadn't been in his accident, who knows how long he would have put up with the abuse. But now it was over. All Justin had to do was get back to the loft, and then he’d be safe. Well safe from physical pain. His emotions were going to be in some serious trouble, but Brian was definitely worth it. The pain in Justin back was intensifying and it took all his power to ignore it and concentrate on getting out in one piece.

"Listen, now’s obviously not a good time to talk. I’m gonna go. I'll give you a call in a couple of days and we can talk then, okay?" Justin thought Ethan was going to try and stop him from leaving, but instead he sank to his knees mumbling incoherently and yelling at Justin to get out.

Needing no further encouragement, Justin ran down the stairs and out to the jeep. Once inside with the doors locked, Justin took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. After a few minutes, his breathing was back to normal, and the pain was starting to ease a little. Justin glanced it the mirror and saw a bruise starting to appear on his cheek where Ethan had slapped him. He was always one to bruise easily, which was why he already knew he had some nice bruises on his arms where Ethan grabbed him, and he could just imagine how bad his back looked. He started the jeep and headed back to the loft, hoping that Brian was still sleeping. He wanted to put some ice on his face and to have some time to himself before having to explain what happened. He could always say that he tripped on a curb, but he was never any good at lying. That was how Brian found out about Ethan in the first place. After parking the jeep and grabbing some of his clothes out of the back, Justin headed upstairs. As Justin pulled the door open, he heard the sound of Brian on the phone with Lindsay.

"I know Linds. I realize that. No, I’m not going to tell him. He doesn't need to know. He’s only here because he feels bad for me. I don't need his pity. I don't need anyone's pity. Why don't you just mind your own business? I know you just want to help, but you can't. You’re the reason he met Ethan to begin with; you, and Mel, and fucking birthdays. Just stay out of it. Justin made his choice and he chose Ethan. I’m not going to force him to come home out of some sense of loyalty. Besides, why would he want a cripple? Why would anyone? I've gotta go. Kiss my son for me. I'll talk to you later."

As Brian hung up, he turned his chair around to see Justin standing in the doorway, looking none to pleased to see Brian out of bed.

"Before you say anything," Brian started. "I'm a big boy and I can get in and out of bed all by myself. I wasn't sure how long you were gonna be and I got tired of lying there staring at the ceiling so I…what the fuck happened to you?”

The anger in Brian's voice was obvious. Justin knew that Brian would want to know what happened. He’d just been hoping that he would have more time to plan what he was going to say.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it. I'm fine," Justin said, knowing that Brian was never going to let it go at that.

At closer look, Brian realized that Justin was holding a few bags, and knew exactly where he had been. "That fucking bastard! Ethan did this to you, didn't he? Wait until I get my hands on that piece of shit! He'll never play music again!"

Justin dropped his clothes and went over to where Brian was sitting. He got on his knees and looked into Brian's eyes. He’d never seen him so angry before.

"Bri, it's okay. I'm fine, really. Things got a little out of hand, that's all. It doesn't matter anymore. It's over. I'm not going to see him again. Please calm down. I love how, even after everything that happened, you’re still trying to protect me, but I'm fine. A little sore, but just fine."

Brian reached out his hand and gently caressed the bruise on Justin's face, wondering how anyone could hurt someone so beautiful. Then Brian realized that he was no better. The only difference was that the pain he caused couldn’t be seen, it was a much deeper pain. He knew how hurt Justin had been after finding him at the Rage party. Brian tried to tell himself that it was different. He’d been pushing Justin away to protect him. That worked well. He’d pushed Justin right Into Ethan's arms and look where it got him. Brian was pulled back to the present by Justin's cell phone ringing.

Justin knew exactly who it would be without looking and didn't want to answer it. Brian saw the look of anxiety and tension cross Justin's face, so he reached out and grabbed the phone, looked at the caller ID and answered it with three simple words. "Leave him alone!"

Ethan was shocked to hear Brian's voice on the other end. "Let me talk to Justin," Ethan said with more confidence then he felt.

“Justin doesn't want talk to…” Brian was interrupted as Justin reached for the phone.

"Let me talk to him," Justin said, causing Brian to spin his chair around and go over to stare out the window, trying to control his anger. "What do you want, Ethan?" Justin said in a low voice. He didn't want Brian to get involved in his mess with Ethan.

"Justin, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I haven't been myself lately. This whole situation has me on edge and I took it out on you. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Please forgive me. I love you; you know that. Listen, why don't you come over later? I'll make you a nice dinner and then we can talk about us. We can work this out. I know we can."

Justin let Ethan finish what he had to say. When he was through, all Justin could do was laugh. "You love me? How can you say that? You hit me, remember? You threw me across the room. You don't love me. You don't know what love is. I tried to believe that you loved me. I gave up everything I had for your love. I quit my job; I stopped seeing my friends, I even gave up Brian for you. What a fool I was. I'm tired of your apologies. You always promise that you won't hurt me anymore, but you never keep your promises." Justin was crying openly now, causing Brian to pay more attention to the conversation.

'What did he mean? Ethan has hurt him before? Why did Justin stay?' All kinds of thoughts were running through Brian's head until he heard Justin's next sentence.

"I told you the last time that I wasn't going to live like this anymore. I'm tired of making excuses for you. I want you to stop calling me, otherwise I'll have to call the police and you know what they told you last time. You’ll end up in jail this time. Just leave me alone!" Justin ended the call and shut his phone off, then headed straight to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He needed a few minutes to get himself together. He’d hoped to keep this whole mess to himself. He never wanted Brian to know what Ethan did to him. It was embarrassing. Justin sat down on the floor for a few minutes, trying to get his thoughts together.

Meanwhile, Brian was still staring out the window, trying to make sense of what he’d just learned. He couldn't believe Justin would allow someone to hurt him like that. Obviously, it had been pretty bad if the police were called in. 'Why didn't he come to me?' Brian thought.

His thoughts were interrupted when Justin came out of the bathroom. "Listen Brian, I know what you're thinking, but I'm not like you. I'm not independent. I can't just say fuck them and do what I want. I thought Ethan loved me. Maybe I was wrong, but how would I know? Everyone I’ve ever loved has hurt me in one way or another. What makes Ethan any different? Because he left marks? At least they will fade away. I have scars inside that will be with me forever." With that, Justin tried to walk away. He needed to be by himself, but Brian grabbed his arm and kept him from leaving.

"You deserve so much more. You deserve a father who loves you unconditionally. You deserve friends who love you for who you are not who you sleep with. And you deserve to have a partner who can treat you with kindness and love, not someone who will hold you back or cause you pain. You’re worth so much more that you know. Don't let anyone tell you different, and don't settle for anything less then the best." And with that, Brian went to lie down. Opening up was proving to be exhausting.

As Justin stood there watching Brian leave the room, he thought about what he’d said. He had never heard Brian talk like that before. Maybe the accident was softening Brian a bit. Who knew? All Justin knew was that Brian was right. He did deserve the best. And who would be better than Brian Kinney?


End of part 5

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