Love Conquers All

Part 1

As Justin sat beside the hospital bed he started thinking about the past. He couldn't believe the changes that had taken place in the last two and a half years. He went from being the average high school nobody to being one of Liberty Avenue's top fags, known for taming the wild beast and having a relationship with "The Brian Kinney". But that was months ago. What Justin wouldn't give to change the past. How he wished he could go back in time and do it all over again. Justin would never change the time he spent with Brian. It was the best time of his life. What he would change would be the last six months, when everything went wrong. Justin would do anything to get Brian out of the hospital bed and back in to the back room in Babylon, where he belongs.

Just then the nurse walked in. "Mr. Taylor, why don't you go home for the night? There is nothing you can do here. If there are any changes we’ll call you right away. You know that with the kind of head trauma Mr. Kinney has suffered, no one can tell how long it will be until he wakes up from his coma...if he wakes up."

Justin lost it at that moment. "How dare you! How can you say such a thing? Brian will wake up. He has to. There are so many things left unsaid. I can't lose him now!"

As Justin wiped the tears from his face he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned to face Ethan and felt a chill run down his back. How could he have forgotten Ethan? How could he have forgotten that he had no claim on the beautiful man lying so still in the hospital bed fighting for his life? How could he forget that it’s his fault that Brian’s laying there at all? Ethan took Justin by the hand and led him out of the room. Justin was still in a daze from the reality of the situation and allowed himself to be led away from Brian's room. As soon as the cold outside air hit Justin's face, he realized what Ethan was doing.

"Wait! What are you doing? I can't leave now. Brian needs me!" Justin screamed, so lost in his own thoughts that he had no idea of the pain he was causing his lover.

"Justin, Brian isn't your responsibility anymore. He has family and friends who can look after him. You aren't a part of his life anymore. You gave all that up when you walked out of Babylon with me the night of the Rage Party. You have to let him go. The last six months have been pretty wonderful for both of us. I really feel like you’re starting to put the past behind you. Please don't throw it all away. I'm sure Brian will be just fine." Ethan tried his best to reassure Justin, but nothing was going to make him feel better.

"You don't understand!" Justin screamed. "This is all my fault. I'm the reason Brian was at PIFA to begin with. I'm the reason he was in the parking lot when the car lost control. He was coming to see me, and I don't even know why? Now he is lying in that hospital bed. I don't even know if he’s going to live or die, and you want me to walk away? Turn my back on him when he needs me the most? I may not be a part of his life anymore, but I won’t just walk away! I can't." Justin's tears turned into heartbreaking sobs and he allowed Ethan to take him in his arms.

“I didn't realize you felt responsible for what happened. I'm sorry. You're right. Brian needs you now. I'm just worried about you. It has been three days, and you haven't had anything to eat, you haven't slept. You don't even look too good. Can we at least go to the diner and get you something to eat?" This was killing Ethan. As far as he's concerned, Brian deserves what happens to him for causing Justin so much pain, but he didn't want to push Justin away. "I promise, after you have something to eat I’ll drive you back here myself."

Justin agreed, only because he knew that if he didn't, Ethan would never leave. "Let me just say goodbye," Justin replied and ran off before he could hear Ethan say, "If only you could!"

As Justin walked the long hallway towards Brian's room, he felt a real sadness for the way things used to be. Brian Kinney was not an easy person to get through to, but little by little his walls had started to come down; especially after the prom. Things began to look up after that, but Brian could never give in completely. He could never allow himself to love Justin. That's why Justin had to leave. He needed more than Brian was willing to give. As Justin entered the room, he was once again taken back by Brian’s beauty. Oh how he wished…Justin shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts that were forming there. Things are what they are. Justin had Ethan and Brian had his tricks. As Justin stared down at Brian he realized that he could die and never know how happy Justin was and how thankful he is for their time together and for all the things Brian had done for him. How much Justin cared for him.

Justin leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Brian, please don't go. I love you. Even if we're not together, it's still a comfort to know you are there somewhere. There are so many things I need to tell you. Please fight your way back to me!" As Justin turned to go, he saw Ethan standing in the doorway. He wasn't sure how much Ethan had heard, but at that moment he didn't care. All he wanted was to get to the diner so he could get back to Brian.

At the diner, Justin was happy to see that the boys weren't there. He didn't need to run into Michael, Ted, or Emmett right now. He managed to avoid them at the hospital, waiting until they left to go in to see Brian. Justin and Ethan took a seat at the counter.

As soon as Debbie saw Justin she screamed “Sunshine! Oh my God. I've missed you so much" She hugged Justin so hard he could barely breathe, but Justin didn't care.

He missed Debbie too much to care. As Debbie pulled away, she saw the far away look on Justin's face and noticed the sparkle was missing from his eyes. Then she knew that Justin had heard about Brian. Debbie has tried her best to stay out of their relationship, but seeing Justin in so much pain, she knew she had to do something. How long was she supposed to sit back and watch two of the most important people in her life hurt each other? Debbie was staying out of it because she thought that Justin was happy, but seeing him now, she new that he missed Brian as much as Brian missed him. They were both miserable and she had to do something.

"So boys, what are you doing here? I haven't seen you in a long time. How is school? How is your drawing?" Debbie couldn't ignore the response the last question got her. Justin's face lost what little color it had. She knew something was wrong. "What? What's wrong?" she asked.

Justin replied, "It's nothing, really. It's just that lately I haven't been doing much drawing except for class. I just haven't felt like putting anything down on paper lately."

Debbie was horrified. Justin gave up drawing? Things were worse then she thought. She had to find a way to get her boys back together. She just wasn't sure how. "So, did you hear about Brian?" She wanted to see what kind of reaction she could get out of him. What she got told her what she needed to know.

"Yeah, I heard," Justin answered before he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

That left Ethan there to stare after him with a worried look on his face. That told her that maybe she didn't need to do anything at all. Maybe things aren't as they seem. Debbie decided to wait and see what happened before stepping in to take action. When Justin returned they ordered their food. When it came out, Ethan ate in silence while Justin picked at his plate. As soon as they were done they left, with Justin so lost in thought that he didn't even say goodbye.

*****

Back at the hospital, Justin sat alone in Brian's room, holding his hand and praying for him to wake up. It was well past midnight and Justin knew that Ethan would be mad that he didn't go home, but Justin just couldn't leave Brian alone. When the nurse came in to check on Brian she gasped at what she saw. Justin looked at her and couldn't figure out what upset her so much. Justin had never seen her before.

"I'm sorry," she started. "You probably don't remember me, but I was the nurse on duty while you were a patient here. I worked the graveyard shift so you pretty much slept through my shift, but I remember seeing Brian watching you sleep every night and I thought, wow, he must really love that boy. Now he’s lying in bed and here you are, with that very same look on your face. I wish I could find love like that."

Justin was confused. "What are you talking about? Brian never came to see me while I was in the hospital. I waited for so long, but he never showed up!"

The nurse replied, "Oh, he was here alright, every night like clockwork. I even checked with the staff about my nights off. He was here. I tried to talk to him, convince him to come and see you while you were awake, but he refused. I thought it was a little strange. You could see the pain in his face. He was so worried about you, why wouldn't he want you to know he was here?"

Justin knew the answer to that. It was the only way Brian could keep the walls up, pretend like nothing mattered and not get to close. "Thank you for telling me. I just wish I had known sooner. Now it may be too late." As Justin looked back at Brian's sleeping form, the tears started again. He felt the nurse as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna tell you what I told him. Don't ever give up. The power of love is the best healer of all."

The nurse left Justin alone with his thoughts. He couldn't believe Brian was at the hospital every night. Why didn't he tell anyone? All those months, while everyone was giving him a hard time about not visiting, he was there every night. That made their relationship even stranger. Justin didn't have time to think about it anymore. All thoughts left his head as Brian's eyes fluttered open. Justin jumped from his chair. "Brian, it's me, Justin. Can you open your eyes?"

"Jus...Justin, is that you?" Brian managed to say before drifting back off to sleep.

Justin called for the nurse and told her what happened. She agreed it was a good sign and checked his vitals, then went to leave a message for the doctor on duty to come check on Brian when he hit the floor.

"Okay Brian, that was great, but do you think you could do it again? Come on, please wake up. I need to see that smile and know that you're okay. Please, at least give me a sign." Justin begged.

Just then he felt Brian's hand give his a little squeeze. That was the sign he was looking for. Justin sat back in his chair and soon fell asleep. The next morning Justin awoke to a feeling of peace surrounding him. As his eyes opened, he saw Brian staring back at him. Justin couldn't get out of his chair fast enough.

"Brian, you're awake. How do you feel?"

"Justin, what the fuck are you doing here? Where's your boyfriend?" Brian lashed out, a mixture of emotions in his eyes.

Justin was thrown by the anger in his voice, but didn't let it show. "Where else would I be Brian? No matter what happens between us I’ll always be here for you. Don't you know that?" Justin said, hoping to ease some of the anger, but instead made it worse.

"There is no US, so just go home to your fiddler and leave me the fuck alone!" Brian shouted.

Justin ran from the room and ran right into the nurse from the night before.

"Hey Justin, are you okay? I guess you're taking the news pretty hard too!"

"What news?" Justin questioned.

The nurse continued, "Dr. Thompson was in to visit Brian, and it appears he has no feeling from the waist down. Didn't he tell you?"

Justin just stood there in shock. Brian can't walk? No wonder he was so angry! He turned to the nurse "Thanks that explains a lot. I've got to go." Justin ran to the elevator and rode it to the roof. He needed time to think, to figure out what to do next. All kinds of thoughts were running through his head but they all led back to one thing. Brian doesn't want to admit he needs someone, that he needs help. Well no matter how Brian felt, Justin was not going to desert him again. He would stand by Brian no matter what.

*****

Back downstairs in Brian's room, Brian was thinking about what happened. He was on his way to PIFA to pay Justin's tuition. Justin thought he was on a scholarship and in reality he was -the Brian Kinney scholarship fund- but Justin didn't know about that. Brian made sure of that. After paying the bill, he decided to go see Justin. It was an impulse and Brian wasn't even sure what he was going to say to him when he found him, but he felt the need to see his Sunshine. God how Brian missed him. It had been six months since Justin chose Ethan over him. It had also been six months since Brian has been with anyone. The last time was the night of the party. No one knew that Brian gave up tricking. He put on a good act, but no one compared to Justin and he just couldn’t seem to want anyone else. All he could remember is walking towards the art complex, and then waking up with Justin by his side. At first he thought he was dreaming and fell back asleep, but when he woke up again, Justin was asleep in a chair in the far corner and a doctor was standing by his bed. And he couldn't feel his legs. The doctor couldn't tell him much until he ran some tests, but all Brian could concentrate on was the fact that he had no feeling from the waist down.

After the doctor left, Brian spent the next hour watching Justin sleep. Trying to soak up as much as he could, knowing what he had to do. There was no way Justin was going to come back out of pity. Brian knew Justin better then anybody and he knew that would be the first thing he would do. Well, Brian Kinney didn't need pity. He didn't need anybody. Just then the door opened and in walked Justin with his best sunshine smile in place.

"What the fuck are you doing back? I thought I told you to go home?"

Justin acted as if Brian didn't even speak. "So Brian, how’re you feeling? Does your head hurt? You have one nasty bruise on your head, but don't worry, you're still beautiful. Can I get you anything? I'm gonna run down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. Would you like some? I could get you a cup."

Brian just looked at Justin for a moment before speaking. "Didn't you hear anything I said to you? Leave me alone. I don't need..."

"Anyone, I know, you may not need me but you have me anyway. I'm not going anywhere. So, how about that coffee?" Justin asked.

Brian didn't even know how to reply to that so he said the first thing that came to mind. "Black, one sugar."

End of part 1
 

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