Coming Out

Chapter 6

Brian and Justin sat upstairs on Justin’s bed, both lost in thought and both not sure what to say. Justin found his voice first.

“Brian, please don’t be mad at me. I’m only trying to help you. I don’t want you to be hurt. My mom will come up with a solution, I’m sure of it.” Justin said with emotion, feeling bad for exposing Brian’s troubles to his mother. He glanced over at Brian, expecting to see anger in his eyes. Instead he saw a smile directed at him.

“Justin, how could I be mad at you when you’re just trying to protect me. No one has ever tried to protect me before. It feels good. And you’re right. I need to do something. I don’t want to have to live like this anymore. My father is an asshole and my mother’s not much better. You made me see that I need to put a stop to this. I guess I always felt that in a way I deserved what I got.” Brian got up and walked over to look out the window at the dark sky. Justin realized that Brian needed to talk about what had happened to him so he just sat there waiting for him to continue.

“The first time I remember my father hitting me, I was five years old. I came home from school and ran into the house wanting to get to the TV because my favorite show was coming on. Jack was there, drunk as usual. He grabbed me by the hair asking me how many times I had to be told not to run in the house. When I didn’t answer him he slapped me across the face. When I started crying, he told me that no kid of his was going to grow up crying like some stupid fairy. Then he took off his belt and hit me over and over again. I thought he was going to kill me. After it was over, my mother came in and told me that I should’ve known better than to make him mad. I learned that day to make sure I obeyed all the rules of the house so I didn’t make him mad. Things were okay for awhile after that. If Jack was around, I stayed in my room so I couldn’t do anything to make him mad. There were a couple minor incidents that came up, but never anything to cause Jack to loose his temper like that day.

Then when I turned nine, I guess enough time had passed where I forgot how bad things could be. I was over at a friend’s house and knew I was supposed to be home by five o’clock for dinner. Tommy and I were having so much fun swimming in his pool that I lost track of time. By the time I got home, it was after six. Jack was waiting for me when I walked through the door. I didn’t even have time to explain why I was late before he started hitting me. When he was done, I had a couple of broken ribs and a broken nose. I had to go to the emergency room and my mother told the doctor that some of the neighborhood kids had jumped me on my way home. I knew then that she would never be there for me. I was on my own. From that day on, I had only one thought that kept me going. I was going to be better than him. I was going to get good grades, go to college, and make something of myself. On the days when the beatings were at their worst, it was that thought that got me through it. I guess I finally got used to it all. This was my life and there was nothing I could do about it.” Brian took a deep breath turning around to look into Justin’s eyes.

“Then you came along. You showed me how it felt to have someone care. I saw how real families lived, talking about their day at dinner, spending time together because they want to, not because they have to. Tonight I saw just how sick my father is. I got a glimpse of him through your eyes and I didn’t like what I saw. Justin, I realized tonight that I can’t live like that anymore. I don’t want to be his punching bag. If I get taken away, then I’ll just have to live with it until I turn eighteen.”

Justin got up and took Brian in his arms. He wanted to try to take away some of the pain that he knew Brian must have been feeling from opening up like that.

“Brian, let’s just wait until we talk to my mom tomorrow. Maybe there’s another way to solve this. I don’t want you to go away. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he whispered before kissing Brian with all the emotion that he felt.

He knew that they shouldn’t be kissing up in his bedroom, but he needed to feel as close to Brian as he could. When the morning came, no one knew what was going to happen to them. If Brian was taken away, this could be their last night together for a long time if not forever. Justin wanted to have something to hold on to so he deepened the kiss, opening up to allow Brian’s tongue entrance.

Brian took advantage of the opening, enjoying the feeling of Justin’s tongue joined with his. Knowing he should stop them before anything got out of hand; he couldn’t help himself from pushing Justin down on the bed sprawling on top of him without ever loosing contact with his mouth. Hearing a moan escape Justin was all the encouragement he needed. He pulled his lips away from the warm mouth and trailed kisses along Justin’s jaw to his soft warm neck. With as much willpower as he could find, he pulled back and looked into Justin’s passion filled eyes.

“Justin, I need to feel your skin next to mine. I want to touch all those places I have been dreaming about. I want to show you how much you mean to me. If this isn’t what you want, please tell me now so we can stop before it goes any further.”

Brian didn’t want to push Justin into anything he wasn’t ready for. He just knew how bad he wanted him. If they were going to stop, it needed to be now. Before things got out of control and they did something they would regret. He was stunned when Justin got up and walked towards the door. Feeling like he had been punched in the gut, he looked down at the floor trying to get his emotions under control. He thought Justin had wanted him with the same passion he had felt. He must have misread the look in those blue eyes. As Brian stood, ready to make his exit, he realized Justin wasn’t leaving. He had just gone to lock the door. Reality had set in that Justin did want the same thing. His heart almost burst with the love he felt for the blond.

Justin could feel his heart racing at what he had just agreed to, but there was no way he could deny what he was feeling. He’d never been with anyone before and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to make love, but he knew that he needed the closeness that Brian was asking for. He trusted him enough to take the next step, and knew that no matter what happened he would not regret this night. He joined Brian over by the bed and gently lifted the boy’s shirt over his head, tossing it in the corner. Brian took the lead then, slowly stripping of the rest of his clothes before removing Justin’s. They fell together on the bed, skin on skin, locked in each other’s arms.

Brian had Justin on his back and started kissing his chest, making sure to pay close attention to each nipple as he worked his way down the young boy’s body. He wanted to take things slow, knowing that this was Justin’s first experience. He kissed his way down, bypassing the stiff erection he knew was longing to be touched. He ran his tongue down one thigh and back up the other, enjoying the soft moans he was causing. At last, he took the leaking member in his hand, running his tongue all around the head before taking the whole thing in his mouth. Brian had been with others in the past, but nothing could compare to the excitement he felt at having Justin in his mouth. Reaching up to Justin’s mouth, he slipped a finger inside allowing Justin to suck on it, wetting it with his saliva. He then pulled it out, reaching down to the boys waiting hole. He slipped his finger inside slowly, allowing the boy to adjust to the intrusion. Once he felt Justin’s body relax, he began to suck more urgently on the cock in his mouth, sliding his finger in and out in a steady rhythm. He could tell by the moans coming from Justin that it wasn’t going to be much longer before he exploded. The thought of tasting the cum as it shot out from the tip was causing Brian to leak. Keeping up with the quickened pace, it didn’t take long before he was swallowing every drop Justin had to offer. Once he finished sucking the boy dry, Brian reached up and pulled Justin in for an earth shattering kiss, letting him taste himself on Brian’s tongue.

Justin felt Brian’s mouth on his and could taste himself in the kiss they were sharing. He never experienced anything like that before and he knew he wanted more. He pulled Brian down on top of him and broke the kiss to whisper in his ear. “I want you to make love to me,” he said before sucking on his earlobe.

Brian pulled back to see his face. He saw determination in his eyes but wanted to be certain that this was what he wanted. “Are you sure? We don’t have to go any further if you aren’t ready. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do it.” Brian replied with tenderness. As much as he wanted to bury himself deep inside Justin and feel the warmth surround his cock, he was willing to wait until they were both ready if he had to.

“I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I love you Brian, and I want to feel you inside of me,” Justin answered, his voice filled with passion.

Brian didn’t need anymore encouragement. He leaned back in and took Justin’s mouth with gentle force, thrusting his tongue inside. As he reached down between their bodies, ready to take Justin’s cock in his hand reality set in. He pulled back and sat up so quickly he nearly lost his balance.

“Justin, we can’t do this. Ever since that first meal we had at the diner, I stopped tricking. I don’t have any protection,” he growled, wishing he had been smart enough to be prepared at all times.

He usually made sure he had something with him just in case, but he didn’t trust himself around Justin. He figured that if he didn’t have a condom he wouldn’t be able to go back on his promise to go slow. Now he was kicking himself for being considerate. He looked up at Justin, ready to apologize for ruining the night when he noticed a shy smile on his face.

Without saying a word, Justin jumped off the bed and walked over to his dresser. Brian couldn’t help staring at Justin’s naked body as he moved. It was so beautiful. After digging through his top drawer he pulled out a package of condoms and a tube of lube and tossed them on the bed.

“Ever since that first meal we had, I have been preparing for this night. I hope I got the right stuff.” He giggled.

Brian looked at the items on the bed then looked up at Justin with a sparkle in his eye. “Come here.” he cooed waiting for the blond to join him on the bed.

Justin made his way over to the bed where Brian grabbed him and tossed him down, covering his body with his own. They picked up where they left off, devouring each other in a passionate kiss. As Brian once again reached between their bodies he was startled by Justin grabbing him and rolling them over so that Brian was on his back with Justin on top of him.

Justin wasted no time in covering Brian’s body in kisses. He wanted to give him some of the pleasure he had received. When he reached Brian’s cock he had a moment of doubt. He had never done this before and he was afraid he was going to hurt him, but when he looked up into those hazel eyes staring at him with lust he found the courage to continue. He took the cock in his mouth and began sucking on it while bobbing his head up and down, causing the cock to jump in response. After a few minutes, he felt himself being pulled up to meet Brian in a gentle kiss.

“I want to be inside of you now,” Brian whispered, as he flipped Justin on his back. He positioned himself between Justin’s legs and sat up on his knees, reaching over to the nightstand to get the condom and lube. As he tore open the condom he noticed that he was shaking at the thought of making love to Justin. He wanted everything to be special and he knew that the first time was always painful in the beginning. After putting the condom on and squirting a generous amount of lube on his fingers he looked up into Justin’s face for reassurance. “Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked one more time.

“Please Brian, make love to me,” he whispered seductively.

“Okay, just relax. This will hurt a little bit at first, but I promise it will get better,” Brian warned before sliding first one finger then a second into the tight passage. He could feel Justin begin to relax after a few thrusts and knew it was time. He could only hold out for so long, watching his fingers disappear inside Justin was bringing him close to orgasm without actually being inside. He needed to be inside, watching had been so erotic. When he pulled his fingers out he heard Justin groan at the loss. He placed Justin’s legs on his shoulders and positioned his cock at Justin’s waiting hole. Brian looked down at him again and with so much tenderness in his voice he asked “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Justin whispered.

Brian pushed his cock inside little by little, giving Justin time to adjust to the size. Justin groaned at the pleasure/pain of having Brian inside him. Once he was buried deep inside Justin he stopped moving waiting for a sign that he could continue. When he felt Justin relax he started moving slowly at first, in and out, enjoying the feel of Justin’s warm hole wrapped around his cock. Brian felt Justin start to meet his thrusts and knew that the boy was ready for more. Picking up the pace, Brian began to pound into Justin, hitting his prostate with each thrust. Justin reached up and put his hand at Brian’s neck pulling him down for a kiss, only breaking apart when the need for oxygen became too much. As much as Brian wanted this moment to last forever, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. He reached down and grabbed Justin’s cock giving only a few pulls before the boy reached orgasm causing Brian to fall over the edge in his own earth shattering climax. Afterward they laid there together trying to get their breathing under control. Brian slowly pulled out, immediately hating the loss of contact as he rolled over to dispose of the condom.

Justin laid there for a minute trying to get a grip on his emotions. He had jerked off a lot in the last couple of years, but he never felt anything like what he’d just experienced with Brian. He felt like he had been waiting his whole life for Brian to come along and make him complete. As he laid there with his eyes closed, enjoying the aftermath of love making he realized that Brian had not come back to bed. When he looked around the room, he saw Brian standing by the window again and felt a sense of panic. ‘What if he regretted what happened? What if by making love they had ruined the relationship they had been building?’ Justin thought to himself. He got up and grabbed a towel off the hook on the back of his door, using it to wipe himself off. Then he walked over to Brian, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind. Brian jumped at the contact, having been so lost in thought that he never heard Justin come up behind him.

“Are you okay?” Brian asked.

“I’m wonderful. I’ve never felt better in my life,” Justin replied.

“We shouldn’t have done this. It was a mistake,” Brian said softly.

He regretted their lovemaking the minute it was over. As much as he loved Justin and loved being inside of him, reality had set in and he had realized that the following day he could be put into foster care and taken away from the one person he loved. He felt that their making love had just strengthened their relationship and would make it that much harder to say goodbye. The last thing he had wanted to do was to make this harder on either of them. He felt Justin’s body stiffen at his words and turned around to see a mixture of anger and pain in those blue eyes he loved so much.

“A mistake? What do you mean a mistake? I thought you wanted me. I thought this was what we both wanted. No, I know this is what we both wanted. Don’t you stand there and tell me that the best night of my life was a mistake,” Justin cried with tears in his eyes.

Brian pulled him into his arms realizing how his words must have sounded to Justin. Taking a deep breath he tried to come up with the words he needed to explain what he meant. “Justin, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Making love to you could never be anything except wonderful. I just think it was wrong to do it now. I might be going away tomorrow. Being separated will just be harder for both of us now. I don’t want you to hurt. The thought of causing you any more pain is too much for me,” Brian explained, hoping to make the blond understand.

“Brian, I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry about me. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you don’t have to go away. But if by chance we are separated, I’ll have this night to remember until we can be together again. I love you Brian Kinney. You are not getting rid of me that easily,” he replied.

“I love you too, Justin Taylor. More then you will ever know,” Brian whispered, leading him over to the bed. They held each other in their arms hoping that in the morning they could find a way to stay together, because the alternative was unthinkable. When Brian fell asleep, Justin slipped from his bed and got dressed, heading downstairs to talk to his mother. He knew now that he couldn’t let Brian be taken away from him, and there was only one way he could think of to make sure that didn’t happen. Now all he had to do was get his mother to agree.


End of part 6
6/4/03

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