Coming Out

Chapter 38

Brian and Justin spent the following day showing Jeff around town. They took him to the art museum since he was an art major also as well as all the local hang outs. They even took him on a tour of the Ryder Agency, showing him where Brian worked and where Justin was hoping to work again. After a quick trip to the diner where Brian and Justin ate together for the first time, they arrived back at the house with just enough time to get ready for the service. Leaving Jeff at the house with Molly; Craig, Jennifer, Justin, and Brian climbed into Craig’s car and headed for the service. It was being held at Brian’s mother’s church in the center of town and as they neared the old building, Brian felt a sense of dread wash over him.

“Are you alright?” Justin asked, noticing the tension that was slowly increasing in Brian’s body.

“Yeah, I guess so. I just really wish I didn’t have to do this,” Brian admitted softly.

“I know, but I’ll be right there with you,” Justin assured him with a small smile.

Brian leaned in and kissed Justin before replying. “Thank you for coming home.”

“There’s no where else I’d rather be,” Justin replied honestly. “And in another few weeks I’ll be home for good.”

“I can’t wait.”

Once the car was parked in the church parking lot, the group made their way inside. Brian spotted his mother immediately off to the side and slowly approached her.

“Brian,” Joan said, dabbing her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She attempted to take her son in her arms, but Brian took a step back, putting some distance between them.

"Mrs. Kinney," Jennifer interrupted, distracting Brian's mother. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Joan replied, trying not to feel slighted about her son's obvious indifference. "It's nice of you to come here...after what happened."

"We're here for Brian," Craig said, making sure that Joan understood that their being there had nothing to do with Jack Kinney.

Brian heard the defensiveness in Craig’s voice and smiled inwardly at the way the older man put Joan in her place. As he looked around the room, his eyes zeroed in on the casket at the front of the room. He slowly started walking towards the box that held his father’s body, fighting horrible childhood memories that were threatening to overtake him.

“Well Jack,” Brian started once he reached his destination. “I guess this is it. It’s all over now and you can’t hurt me anymore. I wish I could say that I forgive you, but I can’t. I can’t forgive you for all the pain and misery you caused me over the years. I can’t forgive you for the way you made me live in fear everyday of my life. All I can say is that I won’t let you win in the end. I almost lost the person who matters most to me because I thought I wasn’t good enough for him. Well guess what? I am good enough for him. It’s you who’s not worthy of love, not me. I know that now and I’ll never forget it thanks to Justin and his family. So long, Jack. Enjoy your eternity in hell.” With those parting words, Brian turned around and locked eyes with his favorite blond who was standing off to the side waiting for him. He made his way over to Justin and smiled his reassurance.

“Are you alright?” Justin asked softly.

“I have you. How could I be anything but alright?” Brian quickly caressed Justin’s cheek, lingering there only a second so that no one would see. “Now let’s get out of here.”

As Brian started back towards his mother with Justin in tow, he finally began to see things differently. He took in his mother’s disheveled appearance realizing that it was time to let the past go. He couldn’t change what had happened to him, but he wasn’t going to let it ruin his future. He would heed the words that Jack had offered him on his dying day. He would go out in the world and make something of himself, but he wouldn’t be doing it to make his parents proud. He would be doing it for himself and for his future with Justin. That was all that mattered.

“Mom, Dad, I think we’re ready to go home,” Justin said as he reached their side.

“Brian, you can’t leave yet. The reverend hasn’t preformed the service yet,” Joan cried.

“Brian, if you want to stay a little longer,” Jennifer offered.

“That’s okay. I did what I came to do. There’s nothing for me here anymore. Take care of yourself, Mom,” Brian replied before turning and walking out of the church. He was anxious to get Jeff and head to Babylon.

Once they were all settled in the car, Jennifer turned to Brian with concern. “Are you okay, Honey?”

“Believe it or not Jennifer, I’m better than alright. My father didn’t die the other day. He died the day he told me that he no longer had a son. I’m not wasting anymore time on him. He doesn’t deserve it. I don’t need him or Joan in my life. I have you, Craig, Justin, and Molly. You guys are all the family I need,” Brian replied.

“Then what do you say we go home, Son,” Craig said, his eyes meeting Brian’s in the rearview.

“Sounds good to me.” Brian watched Jennifer wipe the dampness from her eyes and wondered how he ever got so lucky to have this family take him in. Reaching over and taking Justin’s hand in his, he knew without a doubt that he was the luckiest guy on earth.

An hour later, Brian, Justin, and Jeff were standing outside Babylon looking around at the people waiting to get in.

“Wow, there are so many people,” Jeff said in awe. “How are we going to get in without ID?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Brian replied with a smirk before walking over to the bouncer.

Justin and Jeff watched while Brian spoke quietly to the big burley man at the door before waving them inside. The boys followed Brian and walked in, suddenly finding themselves surrounded by loud music, hot men, and swirling lights. Justin started feeling a little out of place and glanced over to see that Jeff was obviously feeling the same thing.

“Brian, I’m not sure about this,” Justin yelled, hoping to be heard over the music.

“It’s fine, trust me. Come on.” Brian led them over to the bar and ordered three beers, handing one to both Justin and Jeff before taking a swig of his own. Aside from the night he’d been there with Rob, Brian hadn’t been to the club since his early days with Justin and he realized how much he missed it. He glanced at Jeff to see how he was handling being there and smiled at the look of interest he saw. There was no doubt that Jeff was enjoying the show.

After another round, Brian suggested they hit the dance floor and grabbed both Jeff and Justin by the hand, leading them to an open area. It only took a moment for the music to take over and all three of them lost themselves to the beat. Brian had pulled Justin’s back to his chest and was grinding his crotch into Justin’s perfect ass, feeling himself harden at the contact.

Justin was about to protest when he realized there was no need. Everywhere he looked men were bumping and grinding, some of them in different stages of undress. As he took in what was going on around him he felt a rush of excitement at the public displays he was witnessing. He remembered some of the stories Brian had told him about what went on in clubs. Justin had thought it was horrible when he first heard them, but not anymore.

After a few more trips to the bar, Justin was feeling the effects of the beer, causing his head to spin. He wondered if a splash of cold water to his face would help and asked Brian where the bathrooms were.

“We’ll go with you,” Brian told him.

“That’s okay, you two stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Once Justin was gone, Brian decided to have a little fun with Jeff. He moved in behind him and snaked his arms around him, placing his mouth alongside Jeff’s ear.

“So what do you think?” he asked.

“I think I’m in heaven,” Jeff replied honestly. “I guess I never let myself believe that men could be so sexual.”

“Yeah, straight guys have no idea what their missing,” Brian laughed. “Is there anyone here that you want to experiment with?”

Jeff turned around and came face to face with Brian. “Actually there are two, but I believe they’re both spoken for.”

Brian immediately understood what Jeff was saying and he smiled inwardly as he pulled Jeff to him and attacked his mouth with earnest. He felt Jeff stiffen in surprise before giving in to what he was feeling. When Jeff finally parted his lips, Brian took the opportunity and plunged his tongue inside; giving Jeff everything he yearned for. Moments later, Brian pulled back and enjoyed the lustful expression on Jeff’s face.

“So, is kissing a guy everything you thought it would be?”

“And more,” Jeff muttered.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Brian laughed.

Before Jeff could respond, Justin reappeared at their side, oblivious at to what had taken place. “Brian, we should probably head home now. My mother said something about having a surprise for us tomorrow but we’d have to be up early.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Brian smirked at Jeff one last time before leading the two of them out of the club. Brian’s thoughts tried to steer their way back to Jack, but Brian pushed them away. He had one more night with Justin until he went back to California for another three weeks. He wasn’t going to let Jack Kinney ruin it.

Brian and Justin were lying wrapped up in each other’s arms after a couple of satisfying blow jobs as Brian confessed what he’d done to Jeff.

“You kissed him?” Justin asked in astonishment.

“Yeah, I couldn’t resist. The look on his face was priceless. I don’t think he has anymore doubts as to whether he’s attracted to men,” Brian replied with a chuckle. “You’re not mad, are you? It didn’t mean anything. I just wanted to show him what he was missing dating girls.”

Justin thought about it for a moment before answering. “No, I’m not mad; as long as you promise not to make a habit of kissing my friends.”

“Don’t worry, Sunshine. You’re the only one I want my mouth on,” Brian said huskily, taking Justin’s mouth again to prove his point.

The subject was forgotten as Brian and Justin lost themselves in each other for the second time that night.

Justin fought back a yawn as he and Brian sat in the back seat of Craig’s car, anxious to know where they were going. His mother had woken them up early as promised and insisted that they shower and get ready to go out. Molly and Jeff were still sleeping when they all left, but Jennifer assured them that they wouldn’t be gone long. Craig finally pulled into a parking lot of a building that Justin had never seen before and his confusion grew as he looked around.

“Mom, where are we?” he finally asked.

“Stoney Run Apartments,” Jennifer replied as Craig found a spot and parked the car.

“Who lives here?”

“Well, let’s get out of the car and go see.” Jennifer smiled at Craig before climbing out of the car and heading towards the building with Craig on her heels.

Justin hung back for a second and fell into step with Brian. “My mother’s being awfully mysterious. What do you think she’s up to?”

“Know Jennifer, anything’s possible. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” Brian took Justin’s hand and followed Craig and Jennifer up the small set of stairs. He watched in confusion as Jennifer pulled a key out of her pocket and unlocked the door numbered 116.

Justin walked inside and was surprised to find the apartment empty. His mind couldn’t grasp what they were doing there. “Mom?”

“Take a look around, boys. Do you like it?”

Brian and Justin looked around the small two bedroom place, immediately falling in love with the spacious area. The layout was perfect, allowing the room to feel homey, not small.

“It’s nice, Jennifer. But it still doesn’t explain what we’re doing here,” Brian said as his eyes continued to roam around the room.

“It’s your new home. Don’t tell me that you two haven’t been talking about getting an apartment for yourselves. Have you forgotten how thin the walls are in our house?” Jennifer laughed at the shocked look on their faces.

“Wait a minute. What do you mean our new home? Yeah, Brian and I talked about moving out, but not until the summer. I still have to move back and find a job and we need to save up some money first,” Justin explained, trying not to allow himself to become too excited.

“We know,” Craig said. “That’s why your mother and I put out the security deposit as well as paid for the first six months in advance. You and Brian don’t have to make a rent payment until July. The landlord is going to be repainting and laying new carpet in the next couple of weeks. You move in on January first.”

Justin couldn’t contain his excitement any longer and threw himself at his mother, taking her into a huge bear hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he cried over and over again.

Brian watched the two blonds in amusement before turning to Craig. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Brian. You and Justin have worked hard to get to where you both are. Every college boy should have his own place and Jennifer and I felt that with a little help we could make things easier on you. Now there are a few rules we’re going to set and as long as you follow them, everything will be fine.”

Justin stepped back and looked at his father. “Rules? Like what?”

“Well, first of all you both have to keep your grades up. The minute they start to drop, the apartment goes and you’re back to living with Mommy and Daddy.”

“Okay, that seems fair,” Brian replied. “What else?”

“If you have any problems financially, you have to come to us immediately so we can find a solution. No trying to be so independent that you get yourselves in a hole that you can’t get out of,” Craig continued.

“Alright, is that it?” Justin asked.

“One more thing,” Jennifer said. “We’re going to have a family dinner one Sunday of every month and I expect you both to be there. Just because you’re not going to be living under our roof doesn’t mean that you’re not part of the family. I won’t have you boys disappearing for months at a time without us knowing what’s going on in your lives. Understand?”

“Yes Mom,” Brian and Justin both replied teasingly.

Jennifer laughed at their antics. “Alright then, take another look around while your father and I make a list of the necessities that you’ll need. I have to drop the key back off at the office before noon. They only agreed to let me have it so that I could show it to you before you flew back to school.”

Brian and Justin walked through the apartment again, only this time they talked excitedly about what they were going to need and where they would put various pieces of furniture. Brian was trying to calculate exactly how much money he had in his savings so that he knew what they could afford to buy. He knew that Justin had a little money saved, too but he hadn’t worked nearly as much as Brian had so his balance wasn’t nearly as high. Once they were done, Craig drove them all back to the house where Jennifer prepared breakfast while they all talked about the upcoming move. By the time Jeff woke up, they had a basic game plan worked out in their heads.

“What did I miss? Did someone win the lottery?” Jeff teased as he entered the kitchen picking up on the excitement in the room.

“Even better. My Mom and Dad rented an apartment for Brian and me. We move in after the first of the year,” Justin exclaimed excitedly.

“Cool,” Jeff replied, genuinely happy for his friends. “You guys wouldn’t happen to be looking for another son, would you?” he teased.

“Sorry Jeff, but we have enough drama with the two we have. I’ll let you know if we change our minds,” Jennifer chuckled.

The rest of the day passed quickly and pretty soon Brian was dropping Jeff and Justin off at the airport. He hated having to say goodbye yet again, but knew that it was almost over. They had one more visit during Thanksgiving and then Justin would be home for good in the middle of December with their move happening a couple of weeks after that. Life was good and Brian had nothing to complain about. It was all a far cry from what he’d been expecting before he’d met Justin.

“Make sure you call me when you get in, no matter what time it is,” Brian said as he kissed Justin one last time.

“Brian, I’m a big boy now. I can handle getting back on my own. There’s no need for me to wake you up,” Justin tried again. He hated having to call in the middle of the night every time he flew back.

“Call me,” Brian said again leaving no room for discussion.

“Alright, alright, I will.” Justin knew there was no use arguing and just agreed to Brian’s wishes.

“Take care of yourself Jeff, and good luck working things out. If you ever need anyone to talk to you know how to reach me,” Brian offered. He and Jeff had exchanged cell phone numbers earlier in the day.

Jeff was touched by Brian’s offer and hoped that he’d stay in contact with both of them once Justin left Brooks. “And if you ever decide to dump this loser, you know how to reach me,” he teased.

“Hey, watch it asshole. Brian is all mine,” Justin laughed. He knew Jeff was just teasing him, but still felt the need to stake his claim.

Brian laughed at Justin’s small display of jealousy before saying his final goodbye and heading back to the jeep. The next couple of months were going to be a crazy time, but Brian was really looking forward to it all.

When he entered the house, Brian found Jennifer and Craig in the living room watching TV. He entered slowly and addressed them.

“Now that Justin’s gone, I just wanted to thank you both again for all you’ve done for me. I don’t know where I would’ve been without you in the last year and a half. You’ve treated me more like a son than my own parents ever did and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“Brian, you’re our son. Just because we didn’t bring you home from the hospital like we did Justin, doesn’t mean that we don’t love you and consider you a part of this family and that means that no matter what happens between you and Justin we expect you to always be here for our family gatherings.” Jennifer saw that Brian was ready to reply and stopped him. “I’m not saying that anything will happen, but know that if you two decide to go your separate ways in the future, we still expect you here for every holiday.”

“Nothing’s going to happen, but I’ll remember that,” Brian replied with a smile.

“Now son,” Craig began. “We didn’t want to say anything in front of Justin, but there’s something that you need to know. Your fath…I mean Jack and Joan have been sending us money every week since shortly after you moved in. It was supposed to be going to your expenses, but Jennifer and I refused to use it for that. Other than helping with the down payment on the jeep, we’ve been putting it in a savings account in your name. It’s grown to be quite a nice little nest egg. We didn’t mention it in front of Justin because it’s your money to use as you see fit, but we thought you’d might like to use some of it to furnish the apartment. I’m sure that with Jack gone, the checks will stop coming, but it’s there if you need it. The bank book is over on the mantle.”

Brian was surprised to learn that his parents had been sending money all this time. He walked over and looked in the bank book, startled at what he saw there. “Wow, are you sure you don’t want at least half of this? I mean, you’ve been supporting me for all this time. This should be yours, not mine.”

“We’re sure. We’ve enjoyed having you here. Take that money and use it for your future,” Jennifer said as she stood up and walked over to Brian, taking him in her arms. “We love you Brain, and we’re so proud of all you’ve accomplished so far. It’s our pleasure to be able to give you a start in the world.”

“I love you, too,” Brian said softly wiping the dampness from his eyes. “I’d better get upstairs and get some sleep. I have an early class tomorrow.” Brian started walking up the stairs but stopped briefly to look back at the people who took him in when he had no where else to turn. Promising to stay in the family no matter what wasn’t a hard promise to make. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without the Taylors in it.


End of part 38
03/12/05

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