Coming Out

Chapter 35

Once Brian hung up with Marty, he began pacing the small room wondering if he was doing the right thing. He didn’t like dragging his personal life into business, but he needed to protect Justin and breaking all ties with Rob Evans was the only way to do that. When he heard the door opening, he spun around and saw Justin walking in with a huge smile plastered to his face.

“Hey, did you miss me?” Justin asked as he tossed his bag in the corner and approached Brian.

“Every minute that you were gone,” Brian replied with a smile as he took Justin in his arms. “How was class?”

“Incredibly long knowing that you were here waiting for me. What did you do all morning?” Justin continued as he began placing soft kisses along Brian’s neck.

“Shane came by and we went out for brunch. He seems like a really good friend.” Brian was quickly losing interest in their conversation as Justin’s mouth began to move lower and his hands started undoing the buttons on his shirt. “How about if we save the small talk for later?”

“Sounds good to me,” Justin replied with a wicked smile as they both lost themselves in each other.

The long weekend passed by quickly and before Brian knew it, he was back in Pittsburgh and back in class. Saying goodbye had been hard on him again, but not as bad as it was when Justin had first left; especially considering all that he had learned while he was away. During his talk with Marty, Brian realized how close he had come to possibly losing Justin. If Shane hadn’t told him all about Evans, Brian would never have known the type of person he was and continued their friendship, falling into Rob’s plan unaware. He was worried at first about how Marty would react to the situation, but he had nothing to fear. Marty was appalled by Evans behavior and was willing to lose the account if need be to protect two of his favorite boys. They had a meeting set up with father and son for Friday morning to explain that Brian was going to be pulled from the account to work on other projects and Brian couldn’t wait to wash his hands of the whole mess. Pushing away his thoughts, Brian forced his mind on the professor in front of him hanging on to the memories of the weekend for later.

By the end of the work day on Friday, Brian was feeling a lot better about the Evans fiasco. Tom understood the need for the account to be moved, never suspecting that his son was behind the change and Brian started working on a new campaign that Marty assigned him, already making good headway after just one day. As Brian made his way to the jeep his cell phone rang with Justin’s distinctive ring. He smiled to himself as he pulled it out of his pocket.

“Hey Justin, what’s up?” Brian greeted as he unlocked the door.

“Hey Brian, I was just missing you and wanted to hear the sound of your voice,” Justin said, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice.

“Uh oh, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?” Justin questioned softly.

“Come on Sunshine, you know you can’t hide anything from me. Now out with it,” Brian demanded gently.

“It’s just that…well…I just can’t…” Justin stammered trying to find a way to tell Brian what was on his mind.

“Always the poet,” Brian teased. “Take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Brian. I’ve been a mess ever since you left the other day. I haven’t been able to concentrate on any of my school work and my art has been for shit. I can’t spend the next four years doing this whole weekend visit thing. It’ll be too hard saying goodbye to you all over again every time you leave,” Justin blurted out quickly.

Brian felt a sharp pain settle into his chest suddenly at Justin’s words. He was afraid that this was going to happen. Justin was going to break things off again, claiming it was for their own good. “Look Justin, I know how you feel about this whole long distance relationship thing, but I thought we agreed to give it a try. You’ve only been gone two months and already you’re going to throw in the towel and break up with me?”

“What?!” Justin asked incredulously. “God Brian, no. There’s no way in hell I’m breaking up with you.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m coming home, Brian. I tried things your way but I just can’t do it. Call me crazy, call me stupid, but I’m weak and I can’t spend four years away from you. I love you too much and it’s killing me. I’ve already spoken to my counselor and looked into a transfer to PIFA as soon as the semester is over,” Justin explained quickly. He never imagined that Brian would misinterpret what he was trying to tell him.

“You’re coming home?”

“Yes and don’t even try to talk me out of it. My mind is already made up. I’m eighteen years old now and old enough to make my own decisions. I want to be back at home with my friends, my family, and most importantly with you. You can yell, scream, and be mad at me all you want, but nothing you say is going to change my mind.” Justin waited for Brian to say something, but after a long period of silence he was starting to worry. “Brian? Don’t you have anything to say?”

“Thank fucking God,” Brian finally replied.

“You mean…you’re okay with this?”

“Justin, I didn’t want you to turn down Brooks without giving it a chance just because of me, but if you tried it and aren’t happy there then there’s no reason for you to stay away,” Brian answered. “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted and if your decision makes me happy in the process that’s just icing on the cake. Besides, Marty is going to be thrilled.”

“What does Marty have to do with this?” Justin asked in confusion.

“Well, the other day I told him that I was going to start looking at the business schools in California. I’d rather not take on a student loan, but if it would mean being with you, I was willing to look into it,” Brian admitted.

“I love you, Brian Kinney,” Justin whispered, wiping the dampness from his eyes. Knowing Brian was willing to relocate just for him reassured him that he was making the right decision.

“I love you too, Justin Taylor.”

“Good, now how about you head on over to the airport and pick me up before I freeze to death. I was getting used to the California weather and didn’t think to bring a jacket with me. I forgot how chilly Pittsburgh can be at the end of October.”

“You’re here?” Brian asked as he raced out of the parking lot and headed towards downtown.

“Yeah, I missed you so much that I guess I haven’t been in the best of moods. Shane bought me a plane ticket and insisted that I fly back for the weekend for a little Brian fix,” Justin laughed.

“Remind me to thank him the next time I see him. I think a Justin fix is just what I need,” Brian replied, knowing it was the truth. His mind was still swimming with thoughts of Justin coming home for good in another couple of months and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

They chatted for the rest of the ride and didn’t hang up the phone until Brian was pulling up outside the airport. He got out of the jeep and waited until he saw Justin walk out through the doors before rushing over and grabbing him in a fierce hug, ignoring the strange looks that they were getting from everyone around them.

“God I can’t believe it’s only been four days since I saw you,” Brian said huskily.

“I know. It feels like forever. I can’t wait until I can come home for good,” Justin said softly as he looked up into those hazel eyes he loved so much.

“Let’s get going. Molly’s at a friends house until late tonight and your parents had a business function to go to so we have the house to ourselves for the next few hours,” Brian explained as he grabbed Justin’s bag and put it in the back of the jeep.

“Brian Kinney, just what are you suggesting?” Justin asked innocently, fighting back the smile that was threatening.

“That we go home and fuck our brains out,” Brian replied with a smirk.

“Lead the way, Stud.”

Two hours later, Brian and Justin were lying naked in bed, satisfied for the moment after their second round of sex and talking about their future.

“Justin, are you sure this is what you want to do? I thought you liked it at Brooks and I know that you like Shane and Jeff. I thought you were getting settled there.”

“I do like it there and I love Jeff and Shane, but they’re not you. I can’t live 3000 miles away from you and be happy,” Justin insisted.

“But maybe if I found a school out there…”

“No Brian, that’s not going to happen. I love you for considering it, but I’m not going to let you give up a scholarship and take on a student loan when I could be just as happy back here in Pittsburgh. Aside from the academic grants that I received, my grandfather set up a college fund for both Molly and me. My school is paid for no matter where I go. You can just stay right where you are and I’ll come home. Besides, after all that Marty has done for both of us I’d hate to take away his star intern.”

“Yeah, he wasn’t happy about the thought of losing me for three years. Maybe you can get your old job back, too. You know, there are some apartment buildings close to Mellon that offer discounts to college students. We can check them out and see what they charge for a one bedroom,” Brian suggested as his mind raced with the possibilities.

“You mean you want us to live together?” Justin asked in surprise.

“Sunshine, we already do live together, remember? We live here with your parents,” Brian replied.

“Yeah, but that’s different. We live in the same house, but we have our own space. If we got a one bedroom apartment, it would be like really living together. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yeah I’m sure, but it doesn’t sound like that’s what you want so forget I mentioned it,” Brian said, pulling out of Justin’s arms.

“No, I don’t want to forget it. Brian, it’s not that I don’t want to live with you. I just hadn’t thought about it so you took me by surprise. Wow, us living together; sleeping in the same bed every night with no one to tell us what to do. It sounds like heaven,” Justin sighed as his imagination took over.

Brian saw the smile on Justin’s face and knew exactly what the blond was thinking. “I hadn’t thought about it much either since I thought we were going to be apart for the next four years, but the more I think about it, the more I like the prospect of having you in my arms every night. What do you think your parents will say?”

“I don’t think they’ll mind too much. They already know we’re together and at least we’ll still be in the same city. Not 3000 miles away, and besides, who cares what they think? We’re both over eighteen and old enough to be out on our own; too bad if they don’t like it. Wow, I can’t believe we’re really going to do this. It’ll be so cool. We can decorate the bedroom in purple and lavender. Oh and I’ve always wanted a burgundy kitchen, and of course…”

“Slow down Martha Stewart. It’s not going to happen overnight. I’ll need to talk to Marty about working more hours and you still need to find a job. It takes money to rent an apartment, remember?” Brian pointed out.

“I know Brian, but it gives us something to look forward to. Besides, my college fund allows for room and board so it’s not like I don’t have any money. Maybe we can look into things when I get back for good and plan on moving during the summer before classes start?” Justin could feel his excitement building as he mentally imagined the two of them living together.

“Sounds like a plan, Sunshine. Now all we have to do is wait until the right time to tell your parents. We still don’t know how they’ll react to you moving back home.”

“They’ll be fine with it. Trust me. My mom already knows how unhappy I am with living in California. We’ve had plenty of late night discussions about it. She just says that she wants me to be happy. If I’m here with you, I’ll be the happiest little gay boy on the planet,” Justin laughed.

“Make that the second happiest,” Brian replied before taking Justin in a heated kiss. No more words were spoken as Brian and Justin went to work on their third round.

The weekend went by quickly and Brian and Justin tried to spend every moment together, soaking up as much time together as they could. They knew that it would be another month before they saw each other again since their lives were going to be hectic up until Thanksgiving break. After seeing Justin off at the airport, Brian made his way back to the house to find Jennifer waiting for him.

“Brian, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked as soon as he entered the house.

“Sure, what’s up Jennifer?”

“Your mother called while you were gone,” Jennifer said softly.

“What the fuck did she want?” Brian barked before softening his tone. “Sorry, I mean what did she want?”

“Apparently your father’s very sick. He was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and it’s spreading quickly. He doesn’t have much time left and she thought you might want to go see him one last time,” she explained, noticing the way Brian stiffened at the mention of his father.

“Fuck that. As far as I’m concerned the man’s been dead for a long time. I have nothing to say to him and I doubt he’d want to see me anyway. I’m dead to him too, remember? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a paper that’s due soon and I still need to do some more research.” Brian turned to walk away but stopped when he heard Jennifer continue.

“Brian, I can’t force you to go see your father…”

“Don’t call him that,” Brian spat angrily.

“I can’t force you to go see…Jack,” Jennifer corrected. “But please think about it. He doesn’t have much longer and maybe now’s the time to make peace with him. People change when they’re facing death. He might just surprise you.”

“And if he doesn’t? If he’s still the same asshole he’s always been?”

“Well then at least you tried. Craig and I will be here for you either way. You’re stronger now, Brian. You know who you are and where you’re going in life. Nothing he says to you will change that. If it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, then you put the whole thing behind you and move on. Be the bigger person and allow him the opportunity to fix things one last time.”

Brian could see the hope in Jennifer’s eyes and wondered if she could be right. Maybe Jack had changed under the circumstances. Could he let the man go to his grave without trying one last time? It was a question that Brian wasn’t sure he could answer. “I’ll think about it Jennifer. That’s all I can promise right now.”

“That’s all I ask and I’ll support you in whatever you decide,” Jennifer assured him. “Just remember that you’re a part of this family and we love you just as much as if you were born into it. Don’t let anyone take that away from you, alright?”

Brian could feel himself getting choked up at Jennifer’s words and needed to escape to the emptiness of his room. “Thanks Jennifer. I love you guys, too. Just do me a favor and don’t mention this to Justin yet. You know how he is and I don’t want him to worry about me.”

“I won’t say a word,” Jennifer promised.

Brian smiled slightly before heading up to his room. He had such a great weekend with Justin and now it was all a distant memory, pushed into the back of his mind because of his parents. Once again they managed to disrupt the life he was working so hard to build. He’d have to think about his next move. He wasn’t going to let Jack Kinney hurt him again, even if the old bastard was dying.


End of part 35
01/20/05

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