Coming Out

Chapter 33

Once Justin got to California, he settled into a routine quickly. Jennifer had stayed for the weekend, making sure that he had everything he needed before saying a tearful good bye and flying home; leaving him on his own for the first time in his life. On Monday, his new roommate Jeff arrived and he and Justin hit it off immediately. Jeff was straight and in love with his high school sweetheart, but his best friend was gay so he was very accepting. Everything seemed to be falling in place, although Justin was very homesick. Just thinking about Brian being in his childhood home without him caused sadness to wash over him, but their nightly phone calls helped him get through the worst of it.

Justin was so happy that he and Brian had worked things out before he left Pittsburgh. He couldn’t believe how close he came to losing everything they had built between them in the last fourteen months. They still weren’t sure how they were going to survive the separation, but they were determined to make it work no matter what it took.

It had been two weeks since Justin had moved and he was just hanging up the phone with Brian when Jeff walked in the door, his friend Shane trailing behind him.

“Let me guess; the boyfriend?” Jeff teased, knowing exactly who was on the phone. He and Justin had become very close in the last two so he knew all about the famous Brian Kinney.

“Yes, that was Brian,” Justin replied with a slight blush. “What are you two doing here? I thought you were going out for pizza.”

“We are but we decided to drag you out with us so get your shoes on,” Jeff explained, tossing Justin his sneakers.

“Sorry guys, but I’m not up to it tonight; maybe some other time.”

“Come on Justin, you’ve been here for two weeks now and other than going to class you haven’t gone out since you got here,” Jeff pointed out, concerned for his friend.

“That’s not true; I was just out the other night,” Justin replied weakly, trying to defend himself.

“Justin, you went to the book store…on campus. I hardly call that going out. Come on, we promise not to keep you out too late,” Jeff pleaded.

Justin thought about it for a moment and realized that Jeff was right. He couldn’t spend the next four years sitting in his room thinking about Brian. There was nothing wrong with going out occasionally.

“Oh alright, but you’re buying,” he teased as he started putting on his shoes.

“You got it,” Jeff laughed, happy that his friend had finally agreed to go out.

Things back in Pittsburgh weren’t that much different. Brian wasn’t living in the dorms so he wasn’t homesick, but he missed Justin terribly and aside from work and school he never left the house. Cynthia tried to drag him out a few times, but he always refused claiming that he had homework to do. He knew that eventually he’d have to get a life, but at the moment nothing seemed to appeal to him. Besides, he had enough to keep him occupied anyway. Ryder had given him his own account to work on; Quality Construction, and Brian had been working night and day, trying to prove to everyone that he had what it took to be successful.

His schedule was hectic; he went to school Monday through Thursday all day long, then spent a couple hours at Ryder when he was through. He didn’t have classes on Fridays, so he spent ten or more hours at work using the time to work on ideas for Quality, not to mention the other accounts that Ryder let him have a hand in. It was on a Friday about two weeks after Justin had left when he really began to understand the problem with having a boyfriend 3000 miles away. He had a meeting with Tom Evans; the owner of Quality Construction and was in the conference room going over his notes when Cynthia buzzed him.

“Brian, Mr. Evans is here,” she informed him.

“Thanks Cyn, send him in.” Brian rose form his seat and walked towards the door, ready to greet his client.

“Brian, good to see you again,” Tom Evans said as he walked through the door offering his hand.

“You too, Tom; how are things going?” Brian asked, suddenly noticing the gorgeous man standing beside him.

“Things are good; I love the new concept you faxed over the other day,” Tom replied with a smile. “With your talent and Ryder’s guidance, you’re going to be a great success someday.”

“Thanks Tom, I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“I just call them like I see them. Brian, I’d like you to meet my youngest son, Robert. He’s going to be taking over for me for a month or so while I take a medical leave.”

“Nice to meet you,” Brian said, shaking the offered hand before turning back to Tom. “Nothing serious, I hope.”

“Not really. The doctors have been having a hard time regulating my blood pressure so they advised me to take some time off until they could work their magic. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do with all that free time, but the old ball and chain is insisting on it,” Tom laughed.

“Father, I’m sure Mother would love to hear you refer to her as the ball and chain,” Robert teased. “But she’s right. You’re not as young as you used to be. You need to take better care of yourself now. That’s why I joined the business, remember?”

Tom scoffed at his son before turning his attention back to Brian. “Kids are always wonderful reminders of how old you are. Anyway, Robert is going to be handling the business end of things while I’m gone so he’ll be the one you’ll need to contact if you need anything.”

“No problem. Now why don’t we sit down and I’ll show you both the preliminaries that the art department drew up for the new campaign?”

“Actually, I think I’ll leave Robert in your capable hands and go visit with Marty for awhile. For the next month at least, he’ll be the one in control anyway,” Tom replied, patting his son on the back.

Once Tom was gone, Brian led Robert to the table and tried to concentrate on the files before him and not on the man sitting a little too close for his liking. He laid out the sketches, explaining the concept behind each one in detail, then sat back waiting for Robert’s opinion.

“Father was right; you’re very talented. He also mentioned that you’re eighteen and a freshman at Carnegie Mellon. Very impressive,” Robert said, watching Brian for his reaction.

“Thanks,” Brian replied quietly, shaken by the praise.

“I’ve also heard that you’re gay,” Robert blurted out, getting right to the point.

Brian was shocked by Robert’s forwardness, but refused to let it show. “Well Robert, not that it’s any of your business, but I am. Is that going to be a problem for you?”

“Please, call me Rob; and no, that’s not a problem at all. I’m gay, too.” Robert laughed at the surprised look on Brian’s face. “Sorry for being so blunt. I don’t believe in hiding who I am from anyone; especially beautiful men.”

Brian was stunned into silence. Justin wasn’t the first guy Brian was ever with, but all the others were just tricks he used to get his needs met. He never had an encounter with anyone like Rob before and it was very unsettling for him, especially since Justin was so far away.

“I can see that I’ve thrown you a bit. That wasn’t my intention. Are you free for dinner tonight? I know of a really great new Thai place that just opened up,” Robert suggested.

“I…uh…sorry, I can’t; I have a boyfriend,” Brian stammered.

“Well, then bring him along. I’d love to meet him,” Robert persisted.

“He’s away at school right now and I don’t think he’d be too happy if I went out to dinner with someone else.”

“Tell him its business. We’re going to be working together very closely for the next month or so; we need to develop a good working relationship, don’t we?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Brian replied honestly.

“What’s wrong? Afraid you can’t trust yourself around me?”

“Not at all…”

“Good, then I’ll pick you up at seven,” Robert replied, standing up ready to take his leave.

So many thoughts raced through Brian’s head that he couldn’t even think straight, which was why he was so surprised when he answered. “I’ll meet you there.”

Robert smiled as he gave Brian the address and headed out, looking forward to the night ahead of him.

Brian waited until Robert was gone before collapsing into the nearest chair, stunned by what had just happened. He just agreed to go out to dinner with someone he found very attractive. Justin had only been gone for two weeks and already he was doing the one thing that he feared most. “It’s a working dinner. These things happened all the time,” he said aloud to the empty room, wondering how long it would take for him to believe his own words. He looked up when the door opened and Cynthia walked in.

“Mr. Evans son is hot! I wonder if he’s single. Did you happen to notice if he was wearing a ring?”

“Give it up Cyn; he’s gay,” Brian informed her.

“Damn! Isn’t anyone straight anymore?” she teased before noticing the strange look Brian had on his face. “Brian, is everything alright?”

“I hope so,” Brian replied as he got up and walked back to his office, lost in thought.

Brian walked through the door at quarter to six, calling out a quick hello before rushing upstairs to call Justin. He needed to talk to him, ached to hear his voice before meeting Robert for dinner. The phone rang three times before a strange voice answered, surprising Brian.

“Hello.”

“Hello, is Justin there?” Brian asked quickly.

“He’s in the shower. Is this the boyfriend?” Jeff asked curiously.

“Yes, and you are?” Brian inquired, trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice.

“I’m his roommate Jeff, and relax; I’m as straight as they come,” Jeff assured him, noticing the jealous tone of Brian’s voice. “I’ve just heard a lot about you so I feel as if we already know each other.”

“Sorry, being thousands of miles away tends to make a person a little crazy,” Brian chuckled.

“I bet. Hang on a second. I just heard the shower turn off.”

Brian waited a few moments and was happy when he finally heard Justin’s voice on the other end of the phone.

“Hey Brian, what’s wrong? We don’t usually talk until later,” Justin said as he got on the phone.

“Nothing’s wrong. I have a dinner meeting tonight so I figured I’d call now incase I missed you later,” Brian explained, comforted by the sound of Justin’s voice.

“Oh, well you’re three hours ahead of me so unless you don’t get home until five in the morning, you can always call me when you get in bed. A business meeting, huh? That sounds so professional. Is it with that old guy from Quality? What was his name? Tom?”

Brian thought about lying, but decided to just be honest. He had nothing to hide. It was just a business meeting. “No, actually it’s with his son Robert. Tom’s taking some time off so Robert will be looking after things until he gets back.”

“Oh,” Justin replied, a strange feeling washing over him. “So, is this guy Robert hotter than me?”

“No one’s hotter than you Sunshine,” Brian replied honestly. “Besides, it’s business, remember?”

Justin smiled when he heard Brian call him Sunshine. It had been a long time since he used that word. “Okay, well then why don’t you go get ready for your business dinner and call me when you get home? I’ve got a lot of studying to do so I’ll be here all night.”

“I love you Justin.”

“Love you too, Brian. I’ll talk to you later.” Justin hung up the phone, trying to push away the uneasiness he was feeling.

“Is everything alright?” Jeff asked when he saw the far away look on Justin’s face.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Justin replied, wondering why he didn’t feel so fine.

Brian walked into the restaurant a little after seven and quickly found Robert sitting in a quiet table in the corner. He’d decided on the drive over to tell the man that he couldn’t stay. His feelings of guilt were overwhelming and he wanted to go back home and spend his night thinking about Justin.

“You’re late so I took the liberty of ordering for you,” Robert said as soon as Brian sat down.

“Look Robert,” Brian sighed.

“Rob.”

“Robert, Rob, whatever. I can’t stay. If you want to work on our business relationship, I suggest we do it in the office. I just don’t feel right being here with you,” Brian admitted, hoping he didn’t sound like a stupid kid. Maybe he was reading things that weren’t there? Unfortunately, Rob’s next words killed any hope for a miss-understanding.

“Look Brian, I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. You’re hot, and I’m attracted to you, but I respect the fact that you have a boyfriend. I’ve been away at school for the last four years and just got back into town a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t out before I left home so I don’t know many gay people in the area. I think we could be friends. Your boyfriend wouldn’t object to that, would he?”

“No, of course not.” Brian eyed Rob suspiciously, trying to determine how sincere he really was. “I guess being friends is okay.”

“Great; now where’s that food because I’m starving,” Rob chuckled, looking around for their waiter.

Brian found himself having a good time once they got everything out in the open. Rob seemed like a great guy and someone Brian felt he could really like hanging out with. After dinner was over, Rob suggested going to Babylon for a few drinks. Once Brian admitted to having a fake ID and frequenting the club before meeting Justin, he had no reason to say no.

They walked into the club and headed right to the bar. Rob ordered two beers while Brian looked around at the crowd. He didn’t miss being there while Justin was around, but now that he was gone, it felt good to be out on the scene again. Once they finished their beers, Rob dragged Brian out on the dance floor, insisting on a few dances while the night was still young. Brian lost himself in the music, finding that he missed dancing in the center of half naked men. Aside from stopping a few times to get another beer, they danced for the next few hours, oblivious to the attention they were drawing. On his way back to the bar for yet another beer, Brian felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and headed towards the exit to answer it, knowing who it was.

“Hey Justin,” he answered once he was out of the club.

“Brian? Where are you? It’s after eleven here which means it’s two in the morning by you,” Justin asked, trying to listen to the sounds in the background.

“Shit! I didn’t realize it was that late already. I guess I lost track of time,” Brian replied suddenly feeling really guilty for having a good time. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Where are you? I know you can’t still be at dinner.”

“Rob and I decided to stop by Babylon for a couple of beers,” Brian answered honestly.

“Rob?”

“Yeah, Rob Evans, Quality Construction; I told you we had a business dinner, remember?”

“That’s a new one. Since when do you take clients to Babylon? What the fuck is going on Brian?” Justin demanded.

“Nothing is going on. We went out to dinner to discuss business and decided to go out for a few drinks afterwards. What’s the big deal?” Brian could hear the anger in his voice and tried to calm down.

“What’s the big deal? You call me up earlier and tell me you’re going out on a business dinner and when I finally get in touch with you, you’re drunk and hanging out in a club at two in the morning,” Justin spat angrily.

“I’m not drunk. I’ve just had a few beers and what difference does it make where I am? It’s not like I have a curfew. Besides, I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t 3000 miles away,” Brian replied without thinking.

“What?” Justin exclaimed.

“Shit! I didn’t mean that, Justin. I’m sorry; it’s not your fault that you’re not here. I just…” Brian’s words were stopped by the feeling of someone wrapping their arms around him from behind.

“There you are. I was wondering where my dance partner ran off to,” Rob replied as he pulled Brian to him.

Brian heard his phone go dead and knew that Justin had heard what Rob had said; he also knew that he was in serious trouble. He pulled out of Rob’s arms and headed towards the door, calling out over his shoulder. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Wait, the night’s still young,” Rob yelled towards Brian’s retreating back.

Brian ignored Rob’s calls and jumped in the jeep. Once he was out on the highway he tried calling Justin back, but just got his answering machine. “Justin, it’s not what you think. Please call me back so we can talk. I’ll be waiting.” Brian ended the call and threw his phone on the passenger seat, mentally kicking himself for allowing Rob to talk him into dinner, much less Babylon. He was going to have to do some major sucking up to make things right with Justin again.

Justin lay on his bed, tears streaming down his face as he listened to Brian leaving his message. How could he have been so stupid? He sensed something was wrong with Brian when he talked to him earlier, but refused to believe it was anything other than stress over the campaign he was working on. A part of him actually believed that Brian had been so exhausted that he fell asleep after dinner before he had a chance to call. Justin was shocked when his mother told him that Brian hadn’t gotten home yet and was starting to worry. Brian never stayed out that late without at least calling. So many reasons ran through Justin’s mind explaining his absence, but none of them even remotely resembled the fact that Brian would be out dancing the night away in a club. Jeff walked in a short time later and was surprised to find Justin so upset.

“What happened? The last time I saw you, you were in a good mood? Did something happen with Brian?” Jeff asked as he sat on the side of Justin’s bed.

“I called him to see why I hadn’t heard from him. My mother told me he hadn’t gotten home yet so I called his cell, thinking that something might have happened,” Justin explained.

“And?”

“And he was drunk. Half drunk, out dancing in some club with the guy he had the business dinner with; if there even was a business dinner.”

“So, what did he say?” Jeff prodded, knowing there was more to the story.

“When I made it obvious that I wasn’t happy with it, he told me that if I was still there he wouldn’t be out at the club.”

“Ouch,” Jeff winced at his friend’s pain. “I hope you gave him hell for that.”

“I didn’t have the chance. I heard some guy; probably this Rob person, come up to him, saying something about his dance partner. I hung up before I had to hear anymore,” Justin admitted sadly. “He called me back a few minutes later, but I let the machine pick it up.”

Before either one of them had the chance to say anything else, the phone rang again. Justin reached out to stop Jeff from answering and waited to hear Brian’s voice again.

“Justin, I know that you’re there. Please answer the phone so we can talk. I need to explain what happened. It’s not what you think; or what I think you think. Justin…please.”

Justin released the grip on Jeff and nodded towards the phone, watching while Jeff went to answer it.

“Hello.”

“Justin?”

“It’s Jeff. I don’t think Justin wants to talk to you right now. He seems pretty upset,” Jeff said, watching Justin wiping his tears.

“Fuck! I didn’t do anything wrong. I went out for a couple of hours. Am I supposed to sit at home for the next four years and wait for Justin? Please Jeff, get him on the phone.” Brian hated how desperate he sounded, but after the trouble they had over the summer, the last thing Brian wanted to do was fight with Justin while being apart.

“Hang on and I’ll see what I can do,” Jeff replied, looking over at Justin. “You might as well talk to him. I don’t think he’s going to give up until you do. Just hear him out and listen to what he has to say. Maybe you miss read the situation.”

Justin sighed and reached for the phone, waiting until Jeff left before saying anything.

“What do you want Brian?”

“You here beside me so I can tell you how sorry I am, but I’ll have to settle with a phone call.”

“Look Brian,”

“No Justin, listen to me. Nothing was going on with Rob and me. We went out to dinner just like planned and I realized how nice it was to be out around other people. I haven’t been out since you left except to go to work and school. So we went to Babylon and danced for a couple of hours. It’s no big deal. I didn’t do anything wrong. Rob and I are just friends, or at least trying to be. There’s nothing wrong with having friends, is there?”

“Of course not. It’s just that you’re so far away and I worry that…”

“There’s nothing to worry about. I love you, Justin. Nothing is going to change that. I just can’t spend my life hiding away in the house. I’ll go crazy.” Brian replied.

“What about Rob? Does he know that you’re only going to be friends?”

“Rob knows all about you; he knows where my heart lies. I’m not the least bit interested in him. Besides, he’s technically my boss and I’m sure he has strict rules regarding getting involved with his employees,” Brian assured him, forcing the lie from his lips.

“I’m sorry Brian. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. I just miss you and the thought of you being with someone else made me a little nuts. I trust you and I promise to keep the drama queen moments to a minimum.”

“I miss you, too. What do you say about me flying out for a long weekend in October? Columbus Day is coming up. I’ll fly in on Thursday night and stay until Monday. Do you think you can fit me in to your busy schedule?” Brian teased, sure that he could feel Justin’s sunshine smile through the phone.

“I think that could be arranged,” Justin replied with a smile. “Now why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good to me. I love you.” Brian said softly.

“I love you too. Good night Brian.” Justin waited until he heard Brian hang up the phone before hanging up on his end. There was still something bothering him about the whole situation between Rob and Brian, but he felt much better now that they talked and he couldn’t wait until Brian came to visit. They would have four days to spend together, making up for all the time they missed.


End of part 33
9/21/04

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