Coming Out

Chapter 22

Justin walked through the front door with apprehension. He was worried about how Brian was going to react to him once he actually saw him. Justin still couldn’t believe that Brian had overreacted to his being late picking him up. He figured something had to be bothering Brian for to blow up like that. He just didn’t know what it could be. Throwing his backpack on the couch, Justin made his way into the kitchen to say hello to his mother.

“Hi Mom,” he said as he crossed the kitchen to get a drink.

“Hi, Honey. How was your day?” Jennifer asked as she continued working on the salad she was making.

“It was okay. School is school. Is Brian home?” Justin asked, wondering if his mother knew about their little fight.

“Yeah, he got home about ten minutes ago. I thought you were picking him up from work.” She couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened between the two of them. Brian seemed rather moody when he got home.

“Mom, I don’t know what happened. I was out with Jason today. You remember Jason Williams, don’t you?” Seeing his mother nod her head, he continued. “Well, we were just hanging out after school and I lost track of time. Brian called me at 5:15, teasing me about watching cartoons. Once he found out I was with Jason, he got really mad. He told me not to bother picking him up and hung up on me. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just lost track of time. It was an accident,” Justin explained.

“Well, that explains why Brian seemed so upset when he walked in. It sounds like something else is bothering him. Why don’t you go upstairs and find out what’s wrong? Dinner won’t be ready for about a half hour or so,” Jennifer encouraged. The last thing she wanted was to have the two of them fighting again. It was hard enough watching them walk around in pain the last time.

“Yeah, I will. Call us when dinner’s ready. I’m starving,” Justin told her as he walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs.

Justin slowly approached Brian’s room and took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

“Come in,” Brian called from inside.

“Hey,” Justin said softly. He walked in and closed the door behind him before looking towards where Brian was stretched out on the bed. He was on his back with his arm thrown over his eyes, and Justin couldn’t help but admire his beauty.

“Hey,” Brian replied, without looking up.

“Brian, I’m really sorry for this afternoon. I just lost track of time,” Justin explained, hoping to smooth things over.

“Don’t worry about it. There’s no reason for me to think that you’d be sitting home waiting for me. Cynthia said she would give me a ride home on the nights you’re not working so you don’t have to worry about me anymore,” Brian replied without emotion.

“Brian, that’s not necessary. It was a one time thing. I promise not to do it again,” Justin assured him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Brian snapped.

“Brian? What the fuck is wrong with you? I was late picking you up. I’m sorry, but that’s no reason for you to be such an asshole to me!” Justin exclaimed, feeling his face grow hot with anger.

“What the fuck is wrong with me? You are the one who was all teary eyed this morning about how little we were going to see each other now and you were so busy playing with your little friend to even give me a second thought! Just forget it. I told you, it’s no big deal. I’ll just let Cynthia give me a ride home from now on.” Brian rolled over, wanting Justin to leave him alone.

“Brian, you’re being ridiculous! I wasn’t even that late. Jason and I just lost track of time. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Justin could feel himself losing control. He couldn’t believe Brian was acting this way.

“Justin, just leave me alone.” Brian demanded.

“No! I will not leave you alone until you tell me why you’re so upset. This little temper tantrum of yours can not be all about my being late,” Justin pointed out, needing to find out what was really wrong.

“Forget it, Justin. You just don’t get it.” Brian lost his anger, replacing it with sadness. Maybe he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help how he felt.

“What don’t I get, Brian? Explain it to me because I have no idea why you’re so mad at me,” Justin said, sitting on the bed beside Brian.

“Look Justin, for weeks now we’ve been dreading this moment. We knew that once school started our lives would change. I spent my whole day thinking about you and missing you, and you were so wrapped up in Jason to even think about me, let alone remember to pick me up. I guess I just feel like this new life we’re living is going to cause us to drift apart,” Brian admitted, getting up from the bed and walking over to the window.

“Brian, you have nothing to worry about. The only reason I even went out was because you were working and the thought of coming home to an empty house was depressing. I love you, but I can’t have you going all psycho on me every time I make a mistake,” Justin said softly. He rose from the bed and walked over to Brian, placing his arms around his waist. He was rewarded when Brian leaned back into his arms and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Justin. You’re right. I can’t expect you to stop living just because I have a lot going on right now. You have a right to hang out with your friends. Just promise me you won’t stop loving me?” Brian whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.

Justin’s heart broke at the sound of desperation in Brian’s voice. He briefly thought of the way Brian was raised and realized how deeply it had affected him. It was no wonder he was upset. He grew up feeling as if he didn’t matter. As if no one cared about him. ‘Then I go and forget to pick him up as if he didn’t matter’ Justin thought to himself with a sigh. “I promise, Brian. I’ll never stop loving you,” Justin promised him, holding him tighter.

Brian spun around in Justin’s arms and kissed him deeply. He needed the contact. He needed to know that Justin loved him and wanted him. The heat between them continued to grow, both boys lost in each other, until they heard a soft knocking on the door. They jumped apart quickly, straightening their clothes before Brian yelled a polite invitation.

“I just wanted to see if everything was okay in here,” Jennifer said as she took in the flushed faces before her.

“Yeah, everything is okay Mom. Brian and I worked everything out. Is dinner ready?” Justin asked, still a little flustered from his mother’s intrusion.

“I’m getting ready to take the chicken out of the oven now. Justin, will you go down and set the table? I’ll be down in a minute. I just want to talk to Brian for a moment.” Jennifer looked at Brian, sensing his discomfort.

“Uh, yeah. Is anything wrong?” Justin asked, wondering what his mother wanted to talk to Brian about.

“Nothing’s wrong, Honey. I just need to talk to Brian for a minute. We’ll be right down,” Jennifer explained.

“Go ahead, Justin,” Brian told him, noticing a look of fear cross his face.

Justin didn’t like the fact that he was being asked to leave so his mother could talk to Brian. He was worried that something was wrong even though she assured him that everything was fine. He took one last look at Brian and left the room, praying that whatever it was, it wasn’t bad.

Jennifer waited until she heard Justin head down the stairs before turning towards Brian.

“Brian,” She started before he interrupted her.

“Look, Jennifer, I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have snapped at Justin like that. I don’t know what happened. As soon as I heard the name Jason, I lost it. It was stupid for me to be jealous. Justin has a right to have friends in his life. I apologized to him already,” Brian explained, hoping Jennifer could see how sorry he was.

“You’re right, Brian. Justin does have a right to have his own friends. I know you’re still dealing with a lot of issues, but you need to believe that Justin cares about you and wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You have to learn to trust him; otherwise, you’re both going to be very unhappy.” She could see the confusion in his face and knew he wasn’t going to have an easy time of things for awhile. She just hoped he would find a way to learn to trust other people.

“I know. It’s just not that easy. I trusted my parents to love me and take care of me, and where did I end up?” Brian mumbled as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“No, it’s not that easy, but it’s the only way to put the past behind you and move on. I know you can do it, Brian. Justin will help you, and Craig and I are here for you, too.” She offered, sitting beside him.

“Thanks, Jennifer. I appreciate it.” Brian sighed, knowing that what she had said was true. The Taylor’s were definitely not his parents. He needed to trust them all. They were his family now. “Are we done yet?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes. Now for what I wanted to talk to you about,” Jennifer said.

“You mean you didn’t come here to talk to me about what I did to Justin today?” he asked, astonished.

“Brian. You and Justin are big boys now. I’m not going to jump in every time I see a problem,” she assured him with a chuckle.

“Then why didn’t you say something before?” He questioned.

“Hey, if you offer to tell me your problems, who am I to refuse?” Jennifer laughed, nudging Brian’s shoulder.

“You’re evil. I like that about you,” Brian laughed. He suddenly felt much better.

“Thanks. Anyway, Craig and I were talking and we decided that you need to have a car to get around. With all that you have on your plate right now, it would be so much easier for you if you didn’t have to rely on the bus or Justin; especially after what happened today. Your parents started sending your weekly living expenses a few weeks ago. We told your mother that it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted. How about if you take that money and use it to buy a car? Craig will co-sign a loan for you. I’m sure you can get a reliable car for it and still have money left over for your insurance.” Jennifer stopped and waited for Brian’s reaction.

Brian didn’t know what to say. He had no idea that his parents were paying the Taylor’s for his expenses. For some reason, it made him feel a little better to know that they didn’t just forget about him. Well, his mother didn’t forget him. He was sure his father had no part in his living expenses. Pushing those thoughts aside until he had time to think about them, he thought about what Jennifer was offering. They wanted him to use the money that was supposed to be for his personal needs to buy a car. Their generosity always astounded him. “Jennifer, are you sure? That money is supposed to be helping you pay my way. You and Craig should keep that.”

“Brian, Craig and I have enough money to give you what you need. Like I said, we never expected them to give us anything anyway. You need a car and this just makes the most sense. So what do you say? Do you want to go car shopping on Saturday?” Jennifer enjoyed the look of joy cross Brian’s face. She didn’t see that look nearly enough.

“You bet! Thanks, Jennifer!” Brian exclaimed as he hugged Jennifer tight.

“You’re welcome, Brian. Now let’s go get dinner. I’m sure Justin is going crazy wanting to know what we were talking about.” She laughed as she got up and walked to the door.

“Who are you kidding, Jennifer. You didn’t really think he went downstairs, did you?” Brian asked as he opened the door. Justin nearly fell through the doorway at the sudden movement, his face turning red from embarrassment.

“How did you know I was listening?” Justin asked, curiously.

“Come on, Sunshine. I know you very well,” Brian replied, giving Justin a quick kiss.

“I guess you do, Brian. Now, let’s get downstairs. All this talk about your new car has made me hungry.” Justin laughed, happy that his parents were doing something so special for Brian. He knew that having people care about him was just what Brian needed and Justin was just thrilled that he and his family could give him what he deserved.

“Yes, and during dinner we can talk about your inability to mind your own business,” Jennifer replied with a chuckle as she walked by her boys and headed back downstairs.

“I love you, Justin.” Brian said quietly.

“I know Brian, and I love you, too. We all do,” Justin assured him.

“What did I ever do to get lucky enough to be taken in by the Taylor’s?” Brian asked, feeling more love than he ever felt before in his eighteen years.

Justin just smiled in reply and headed downstairs with Brian on his heels, wondering what he ever did to be lucky enough to have Brian in his life. Whatever it was, it must have been wonderful.


End of part 22
11/15/03

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