Coming Out

Chapter 20

Brian woke up first and smiled to himself at the memories of the night before. His first time with Justin was incredible and he was overcome with emotions just thinking about all his boyfriend went through to make his birthday special for him. School was starting in a week and once that happened, he knew their time together was going to be cut down drastically. He decided to make the most of their weekend, needing to feel the special closeness they shared. He pulled the blond tighter to his body, wishing there was a way to lock the real world out forever. He was lost in thought and didn’t notice that Justin had woken up.

“Brian, are you okay?” Justin asked, sensing that there was something going on in Brian’s mind.

“Yeah. I was just thinking about how everything is going to change once school starts. I’m going to be going to school in the morning, and then heading to Ryder in the afternoon. I won’t even be home until dinnertime. Then I’ll have to do my homework and study. I was trying to figure out how we were going to spend any time together,” Brian admitted, still somewhat lost in thought.

“Don’t worry, Brian. We’ll work something out. At least we live in the same house. If nothing else, we’ll be able to steal a few moments here and there,” Justin assured him. He was having some doubts himself, but didn’t want to add to Brian’s concerns. “Besides, this is our weekend. No thinking about the real world. For now, the only thing that matters is you and me, being here together.” Justin kissed Brian before jumping out of bed and heading to the bathroom. He started the shower and jumped in, waiting for Brian to get the hint and join him. He didn’t have long to wait and the two of them stayed under the spray, lost in each other until the water ran cold.

After a quick breakfast, Brian and Justin headed to the lake, enjoying the late August weather. They sat on the dock and talked about their dreams for the future, blocking out the thoughts of being separated for months at a time. Due to their differences in career choices, they knew that they would be going to different schools. Justin was applying to PIFA, as any good artist would do, but Brian was planning on attending Princeton. The distance was going to be hard on them, but it was what they needed to do to get what they wanted out of life.

They spent their day laughing, swimming, and just enjoying their time together. It was easy to shut out the world when they were in each other’s arms. It was late afternoon when they made their way back to the cabin. They cooked dinner together, stealing kisses from one another every few minutes, and their lives at the moment seemed perfect. After dinner Justin cleaned up their mess while Brian sat outside on the deck enjoying the peace and quiet of their surroundings. Justin joined him when he finished up in the kitchen, and they sat there in silence holding hands, as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Brian broke the silence first.

“Justin. I just wanted to say thank you for all of this. I’ve never had anyone do something so special for me before. I’ll remember this birthday for the rest of my life.” Brian’s voice cracked with emotion.

“Brian. You’re worth all this and so much more. I love you and will do anything to make you as happy as you’ve made me. What do you say we go to bed and show each other how special we really are?” Justin suggested, needing to feel closer to Brian after the wonderful day they shared.

“I’d thought you’d never ask.” Brian said as he pulled Justin up and led him towards the bedroom

They spent the rest of the night showing their love to one another before falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

The drive back to Pittsburgh was bittersweet. They were happy to be headed home, but hated the thought of having to go back in the closet after their weekend of freedom. Wanting to extend their time a little bit longer, they drove to the lake. As soon as Justin put the car in park they were in each other’s arms. They held each other for a few moments before coming together in a heated kiss. As the kiss became more demanding, Justin’s cell phone rang, breaking the mood. It was his mother.

“Hey Mom,” he answered, cursing her for her bad timing.

“Hi, Honey. I was just calling to see where you were. I’m fixing dinner and wanted to know if you and Brian will be here in time. I missed you both this weekend,” Jennifer replied. She wasn’t going to call but she couldn’t help herself. She had missed the boys while they were away. The house was so quiet without them.

“We’re on our way and should be home in about fifteen minutes,” Justin assured her, giving Brian an apologetic look. He didn’t want to cut their time short, but he knew his mother wanted them home.

“Oh, good. I’ll set your places then. See you soon, Sweetheart,” Jennifer said with happiness. She quickly hung up the phone and went to tell the others that the boys were on their way.

“I guess our weekend is officially over,” Brian stated with regret.

“I’m sorry, Brian. She said she missed us. What was I supposed to do?” Justin asked, hating the sound of regret in Brian’s voice.

“It’s okay, Sunshine. The only time Jack ever missed me was when he was drunk and needed a punching bag and I wasn’t around. It’s nice to be missed. I guess we should head home,” he replied, giving Justin one last kiss.

“Yeah. Let’s go home,” Justin agreed as he started the car. They drove the rest of the way hand in hand.

Brian walked through the door and was startled to find a room full of people yelling surprise. He stood there in shock, letting his surroundings sink in. As he looked around he saw Daphne, Cynthia, Ryder and his wife, along with some of his friends from work. Jennifer came up and hugged him tight.

“Brian, I hope you don’t mind. I know you probably think you’re too old for a surprise party, but I couldn’t help myself. We wanted to do something special for you,” she explained, seeing a mixture of emotions in his face.

“This is for me?” Brian asked, still unable to grasp reality. No one had ever given him a party before and he could feel tears building behind his eyes at the gesture the Taylor’s were making.

“Of course it’s for you, Sweetie. Now why don’t you go say hello to everyone? They’ve been patiently waiting for the guest of honor,” Jennifer replied with a smile. She could tell Brian was very emotional over the party, and once again cursed his parents for not giving him the love he so desperately needed and deserved.

Once Brian started welcoming everyone, Justin pulled his mother aside to talk to her. “Mom, when did you plan this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Honey, I wanted to do this for Brian. I knew you had your own special plans and I wanted this to be from your father and me, so he knew that we cared. I spoke to Mr. Ryder last week and he invited the people from the agency. Daphne talked to Cynthia for me and everyone was more than willing to be here. Brian has a lot of people who care about him. I hope he knows that,” Jennifer said as she watched Brian interact with his friends. He looked happy and Jennifer was glad that she decided to go ahead with the party. Brian deserved to be happy.

“I love you, Mom. You’re the best.” Justin hugged her tight, thankful once again for such a wonderful mother.

“I know. Now why don’t you go say hello to everyone while I put out the food?” Jennifer suggested, beaming from the praise her son had given her.

Brian made his way through the room, greeting everyone and thanking them for coming, before finding a quiet spot to think about all that Craig and Jennifer had done for him. His eyes followed Justin as he walked around the room talking to the guests. He was lost in thought and never noticed Ryder walking up beside him.

“Justin is that special someone isn’t he?” Marty asked with a smirk.

“How’d you know?” Brian asked.

“I can see it in your eyes when you look at him,” Marty explained.

“Look, Jennifer is the only one who knows about us aside from Daphne and Cynthia. Justin hasn’t really come out yet and Craig has no idea about me.” Brian was worried that Ryder would say something to out them to the Taylor’s.

“Your secret is safe with me. So I guess Daphne and Cynthia didn’t go to the cabin this weekend, huh? I didn’t really believe their story about taking two cars so they could get home early to help with the party. I hope you two enjoyed yourselves,” Ryder said with a smile. He remembered what it was like being on the verge of adulthood and in love.

“Oh, yeah, we enjoyed ourselves. Thanks for letting us use the cabin. It was just what we needed. I’m sorry Cynthia lied to you. She was only trying to protect Justin. He really isn’t ready to come out yet,” Brian explained, feeling a little guilty for all the deception.

“Brian, I don’t like being lied to, but I know why she did it. Did you know that I had a brother at one time? He was two years younger than me and he was gay. Twenty years ago things were different. Very few people came out back then because being gay was a sin. Gay people didn’t have the opportunities that they have now. They played it straight and snuck around in dark places, hiding who they were. My brother was one of them. He eventually found a small club that welcomed those who were different. On his twenty first birthday, he went to this little club to celebrate. He met someone and while they were leaving, they were jumped by a group of homophobic jerks. My brother died in an alleyway not too far from the club. I was mad at the world back then, and I blamed Jason for his own death. It took me a long time to get over my anger and see that he had to do what made him happy. You and Justin need to do what makes you both happy, whatever that is. I just want you to know that if either of you need me, I’ll be here for you.” Marty hadn’t planned on telling Brian about Jason, but was glad he did.

They were interrupted by Justin, who had sensed the seriousness of the conversation, and wanted to make sure there wasn’t a problem that would ruin the end of Brian’s weekend. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Sunshine, everything’s fine.” Brian replied quietly so no one outside of the three of them heard. Seeing the look of confusion on the blonde’s face, Brian couldn’t help but laugh. “He figured out that you’re my someone special. Something about the way I look at you.”

“Oh…” Justin replied shyly.

“It’s okay, Justin. Brian explained everything and your secret is safe with me. I’ll just leave you two alone while I go harass my employees.” Ryder chuckled as he walked away.

“What was that all about? Is everything really alright?” Justin questioned. He was concerned that Ryder figured out about their weekend and was upset.

“Everything is wonderful thanks to you and your family. Have I told you lately that I love you?” Brian whispered, making sure no one could hear him.

“Not in the last few hours, but it’s always nice to hear. I love you, too, Brian,” Justin whispered back, unable to hold back the silly grin he knew he had whenever Brian told him he loved him.

“Now let’s party,” Brian said as walked towards the others.

Later that night, after everyone had gone home and the mess was cleaned up, Brian found himself alone in the kitchen with Jennifer.

“Jennifer, thank you for this afternoon. I’ve never had a birthday party before,” Brian admitted with a far away look in his eyes.

“Well, I’d say it was time then, wouldn’t you? I told you before, Brian, you’re a part of this family now. That means you get treated the same as any other Taylor kid so you better get up to bed and get some sleep. Since tomorrow is Labor Day and the agency is closed, I’m taking my three kids school shopping. We’re leaving here at nine,” Jennifer told him gently.

“Jennifer, you don’t have to…” Brian was interrupted mid sentence when Jennifer grabbed his hand.

“I told you, part of the family. I don’t want to hear another word about it. You save all your hard earned money for when you go to college. For now, Craig and I handle the bills. Understand?” She looked at him with a stern expression.

Brian couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat so he hugged her tight and kissed her cheek, before walking out of the kitchen and running up the stairs.

“Your welcome, Brian,” she said to herself softly after he was gone.

Brian was lying in bed thinking about how lucky he was to have Craig and Jennifer when there was a light knocking on his door.

“Come in,” he called, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” Justin greeted him as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

“You getting ready for bed?” Brian asked. Since he moved in there was no need for them to call each other before bed, so they always made sure to have a few minutes alone each night.

“Yeah. Tomorrow is our famous Labor Day school shopping trip. My mother has been doing it for years. She says that she likes waiting until the last minute so we can’t grow out of anything before school actually starts. I take it she invited you, right?” Justin asked, knowing that she did. He had overheard his parents talking earlier and knew that they weren’t going to let Brian buy himself anything. It still amazed him how much his parents cared for Brian. They treated him as if he was their real son, not just a kid who needed a place to stay.

“Yeah, I was told to be ready by nine. I wish they’d let me buy my own stuff. I feel bad making them pay my way. They’ve done so much for me already,” Brian said softly. His guilt of being a burden was enormous. He could clearly remember all the fights his parents had about money and he was always to blame for their meager funds. Jack always felt that if they had stopped after having Claire, they would have had more money.

“Brian, face it. You are one of us now. They love you as if you were their own and my parents would do anything for one of their own. You might as well accept it. Now stop worrying and give me a kiss so I can go to bed and dream about you and that hot body of yours,” Justin said with a smirk.

“If you insist,” Brian replied before taking Justin in his arms. The kiss was soft and gentle but it held the passion that they both were feeling. They broke apart after a few moments, both panting with desire. “You better go before I take you right now,” Brian informed Justin, only half joking.

“If that line was meant to scare me away, you better think of something else because all that makes me want to do is let you take me,” Justin explained with lust filled eyes.

“I love you, Justin. Now go to bed,” Brian demanded gently.

“Love you too,” Justin laughed as he walked out of the room.

The two boys drifted off to sleep separately, dreaming about the future they were going to have together. The one where they would fall asleep every night in each other’s arms.

End of Part 20
10/12/03

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