Coming Home

Chapter 5

The rest of Justin’s visit home flew by way too quickly for both Brian and Justin. Tyler had gone back a few days after Christmas, leaving Justin to spend what little time he had left with Brian. It was bittersweet. They enjoyed their time together, but Justin’s return hung heavily over both of them. On the day of Justin’s departure, Brian took the day off and drove him to the airport.

“I can’t believe it’s been a week already,” Justin said sadly as Brian drove through the parking lot, looking for a space. “It feels like I just got here.”

“Yeah,” was all Brian could reply.

Once the jeep was parked, the two men grabbed the bags out of the back and made their way inside. Justin checked his luggage then walked over to where Brian was standing off to the side to say goodbye. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to say goodbye to the man he loved. Their reunion had been everything Justin had dreamed of and more and he didn’t know how he was going to just go back and pick up where he left off.

“I guess this is it?” Justin finally said when he found his voice.

“You make it sound like its permanent. I’ll be there next month, remember?” Brian pointed out. They’d agreed that Brian would fly out for a long weekend to get a glimpse of Justin’s world.

“I know, but four weeks is a long time.” Justin knew he was being ridiculous, but the sadness that was washing over him was powerful and he found himself struggling to hold back his tears. “I guess I’d better go.”

“Call me when you get in and let me know you made it okay,” Brian said, fighting his own emotions.

“I will,” Justin assured him tearfully. “I love you Brian.”

“I love you, too. And don’t worry. Everything’s going to be okay now.” Brian reached out and pulled Justin to him, kissing him deeply without caring about anyone who might object to their public display.

Justin kissed Brian back for a moment then pulled away, smiling up at the hazel eyes that had been a part of his soul for so long. “I gotta go.”

“I’ll talk to you tonight,” Brian said before turning and walking away quickly. He knew if he stayed a moment longer, he’d throw his arms around Justin and refuse to let him leave.

Justin spent the entire flight thinking about everything that happened during his trip home and trying not to worry about what the future held. He and Brian would find a way to be together. Of that he had no doubt. Once the plane landed and Justin claimed his luggage, he made his way outside to find Tyler standing on the sidewalk waiting for him.

“Welcome home, Beautiful,” Tyler said as he kissed Justin. “How was your flight?”

“Long, boring, uneventful,” Justin replied.

“And how was Brian?”

“Beautiful, sweet, loving. Oh Ty, I don’t know how I’m going to make it here knowing that he’s back in Pittsburgh waiting for me,” Justin sighed.

“Look, you don’t have to go back to work until tomorrow. Why don’t we stop by the store, pick up a couple of bottles of wine and spend the night lounging at your place? I’ve been told I’m a very good listener.”

Justin smiled at his friend. “You’re the best.”

“I know. Now let’s go Blondie.”

Tyler and Justin stopped at the store and got the wine and a few steaks for the grill before going back to Justin’s. They spent the afternoon laughing and catching up on the local gossip that Justin had missed while he was away and drinking too much wine. Justin had called Brian as promised and let him know he arrived safely and by the time night fell both men were feeling no pain. They sat on the couch, laughing at one of those stupid Reality TV shows before Tyler dove in to a more serious conversation.

“So beautiful, what are your plans?”

“I don’t know. I told Brian that we need to take things slow. I don’t want to rush into anything just yet,” Justin replied.

“Rush into anything? Justin, you’ve known Brian forever. It’s not like he’s some guy you met a few weeks ago,” Tyler pointed out.

“I know, but what if we rush into another relationship and it all falls apart again? I don’t think I could survive it a second time.”

“Jus, you and Brian belong together. I don’t want to rub salt in your wounds, but if you stayed and talked to Brian before running away, you wouldn’t have been apart to begin with.”

“I tried to talk to him back then. I begged him to tell me what was bothering him, but he wouldn’t open up to me. What was I supposed to do?” Justin could feel his defenses building.

“Oh I don’t know. Stand by your man and wait until he’s ready to share his problems with you?” Tyler could see how his words affected Justin, but he continued on. “Not everyone is as open and forthcoming with their feelings as you are. From just the little bit you’ve told me about Brian’s past, it doesn’t surprise me that he kept his feelings to himself. You need to remember that and try to give the man some space when things get hard.”

“What are you saying? You think I should just drop my life here and run back home without knowing for sure what the future holds?” Justin asked incredulously.

“Drop your life here? What life? Justin, you don’t date, you rarely go out and you’re absolutely miserable. I’d drop that life in a heartbeat if given the opportunity,” Tyler laughed.

Justin thought about what Tyler was saying and knew he was right; except for one minor detail that he left out. “What about you? Ty, you’ve best such a great friend to me in the last couple of years. I don’t know how I’m going to live without you.”

“Live without me? Are you moving to Timbuktu? I expect a phone call from you once a week to fill me in on the fabulous life you’re going to be living. What we have is so special, beautiful. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you forget about me,” Tyler said with a smile. It was taking everything in his power to hold back the emotions that were coursing though him at the thought of Justin leaving. He’d spent the last few days preparing himself for the blond’s departure. He knew it was everything Justin wanted and refused to let his own feelings stop him from being the friend that Justin needed him to be.

Justin fought back tears as he realized that with Tyler’s help he made his decision. He’d be going into work the following day and giving his notice. After two years of pain and misery, he was finally going home. The only downfall to the situation was leaving Tyler behind, but he knew without a doubt that their friendship would stay intact. “So, you know of anyone looking to sublet an apartment?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Tyler smiled in reply.

They spent the rest of the night making plans for the future. When Tyler had returned from Pittsburgh, he asked around for anyone looking for a place to live. Having seen the Brian and Justin magic first hand, he knew without a doubt that Justin’s only option was to go home and live his life with the man he loved. One of the guys he worked with had just broken up with his girlfriend of four years and moved in with parents until he could find a place. Tyler called the guy and set up an appointment for him to look at Justin’s apartment at the end of the week. Once that was settled, the two of them sat down and made a list of things that needed to be done before the move. Justin was excited about the plans they were making and decided to keep his move home a secret. He wanted it to be a surprise.

The following morning, Justin arrived at work early and went to his boss, explaining his need to go back to Pittsburgh. His boss understood and although he was sorry to see one of his best artists go, he volunteered to make a few phone calls and see if he could find anyone looking to hire for their art department. By the end of the day Justin had two interviews set up with companies in Pittsburgh. His was well on his way to his new life.

The next thing on the list was deciding what to do with Justin’s car and belongings. When he arrived in San Diego, he went out and bought a cheap car just to get him to and from work and his furnishing were bought second hand. They were things that Justin didn’t have any desire to take with him. As luck would have it, the guy who was interesting in subletting not only loved the apartment, but didn’t have any furniture of his own. Justin offered everything to him for a flat free of five hundred dollars. It was easier than trying to get rid of it piece by piece and gave Justin the money to buy his plane ticket home. He had a decent amount of money in the bank since he rarely went out and did anything in the two years he’d been out there, but he wanted to hang on to what he could. There was still a part of him that was uncertain of what his reception from Brian was going to be and he wanted to be prepared incase he needed to get his own place. Living with Mom and Dad wasn’t an option. He ended up selling his car to a neighbor who was looking for a good used car for her son who was just about to get his drivers license.

Everything was quickly falling into place and as the days went by, Justin became more and more anxious about the changes that were taking place. The downside to it all was the little white lies that Justin had to tell Brian when they spoke on the phone. Brian had wanted to book his flight out for his visit, but Justin refused to let him. He claimed that he had a pending business trip coming up but wasn’t sure of the dates. He promised to let Brian know as soon as he was certain. He could sense Brian’s anger and thought about just being honest and ruining the surprise, but Tyler assured him that Brian would understand and be more than thrilled when he found out the reason for Justin’s hesitancy. Finally the big day arrived. Justin had turned over his apartment to the new tenant the night before and spent his last hours at Tyler’s, where they sat around all night talking about how different things were going to be. Justin’s heart was breaking at the thought of saying goodbye to his friend. He knew without a doubt that his life wouldn’t have been nearly as good in California if he they hadn’t met. They shared Tyler’s bed that night and although nothing sexual happened between them, the intimacy of being in each others’ arms was powerful and brought them both to tears. They held each other long into the night, saying their goodbyes without words.

Justin’s plane landed in Pittsburgh just after one o’clock and he hailed a cab and headed right to Brian’s apartment. He still had his key from when he lived there and hoped that Brian never changed the locks. Again luck was on his side when he turned the key and the door opened. He brought his luggage inside and placed it in the spare room until he was certain that he would be moving in. Then he took the time to look around the place he used to call home and let the memories of their earlier days wash over him. They had been so happy there for such a long time and Justin was hoping that they’d be able to get back to what they once were. He had finally sat down to watch some TV and calm his nerves while he waited for Brian to get home. Some time later, the phone rang, pulling Justin’s mind off the movie he had gotten engulfed in. He sat there and let the answering machine pick up and was surprised to hear Cole’s voice on the other end.

“Hey Brian, its Cole. I got your message and tried calling you at the office, but they said you left for the day. I guess you didn’t get home yet. Just give me a call when you get in. Bye.”

The machine shut off and Justin sat motionless for a moment, panic and betrayal setting in. He’d spent the last three weeks closing up one chapter of his life and getting ready to start another and during that time, Brian was contacting his ex-boyfriend. The same one that lived in their apartment with him up until a few weeks earlier. He felt like such a fool for believing that he could move home and they could pick up where they left off. Brian had a life in Pittsburgh. A life that didn’t include him anymore.

He jumped up, ready to get his luggage and get away before Brian got home when the sound of a key in the lock told him it was too late to run. He stood up straight with his head held high, and tried to keep a hold on his emotions.

“Justin? What are you doing here?” Brian asked as he walked in and noticed he wasn’t alone. “I thought I was supposed to be coming to you?”

“I’m sorry…uh…plans changed a bit and I thought, I mean I wanted…” Justin stammered, unsure of what to say.

“Hey, don’t apologize. This is a pleasant surprise and a great way to end the day,” Brian assured him as he dropped his briefcase and walked over, taking Justin in his arms. “How long are you here for?”

“I’m…not…sure.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Brian asked as he pulled back and looked into Justin’s face. He could see that the man was upset about something and suddenly began to panic. “Is everything okay?”

“I…don’t know. Um…Cole called. I didn’t mean to listen, but I was sitting right here,” Justin finally replied when he found his voice. “I didn’t realize that…I guess I thought…”

Brian looked down at Justin for a moment before he realized what Justin had thought from listening to Cole’s message. Without giving an explanation, Brian walked over to the phone and dialed Cole’s number, waiting for the other man to pick up.

“Hey Cole, its Brian. Thanks for getting back to me. I need your new address so I can send you those things you left behind.” Brian glanced over at Justin and smiled at the sheepish look on the blond’s face, before grabbing a pen and paper and writing down the information Cole was giving him. “Thanks, I’ll get everything together and out in the mail to you by the end of the week. Take care of yourself.”

Brian hung up the phone and walked back over, placing his hand under Justin’s chin and forcing the man to look at him. “Cole and I talked after you flew back to San Diego and agreed that the break-up was inevitable regardless of your arrival. He told me that he thought he’d found a place of his own and would give me the address so that I could ship him whatever he left behind. I was just following up on that. Now again, is everything okay?”

“I guess…when I heard his message it seemed like…forget it. Never mind, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that,” Justin said softly. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good, now you never answered my question. What are you doing here and how long are you staying?”

Justin took a deep breath before replying. “Forever…that is if you want me to.”

“What?” Brian asked in confusion.

“I thought that we needed to take things slow, but Tyler helped me realize that I was wrong. I think I was just scared. I was so heartbroken when I left here two years ago, but I finally began to move on. I never stopped loving you, but in time the pain began to lesson to just a dull ache. I didn’t want to rush into something and end up back where I was when I left,” Justin explained.

“So what did Tyler say to change your mind?” Brian asked, trying to keep his cool while he listened to what Justin was saying.

“He told me that we’ve known each other forever, that we belong together, and that if I had stuck around the first time, we wouldn’t have been apart in the first place. We’ve wasted so much time; I don’t want to waste anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“I want to come home, Brian. I want to be where I should’ve been all along,” Justin replied with certainty.

Brian pulled Justin to him, kissing him with everything he had until they were both breathless and burning with need. “Welcome home Sunshine,” Brian whispered as he led Justin down to the bedroom, content with the knowledge that this time around would be different. This time he’d do whatever it took to keep Justin with him for the rest of their lives.


The End
08/16/05
 

Return to Coming Home