Now That You're Here - The College Years
Chapter 20
By the time the plane landed in Arizona, everyone was exhausted. The news of
Zac’s injuries and arrest made it impossible for anyone to sleep, and from the
look on Jason’s face when they met him in Pittsburgh, he was taking the news the
hardest. As they walked across the tarmac, a man in an expensive three piece
suit approached them.
“Wow, I don’t have to ask which one of you is David. You look just like Dylan.
I’m Paul Rogers. Your brother asked me to meet you here regarding a possession
with intent charge.”
“Hey, Paul,” David said as he reached out and shook Paul’s hand. “Thanks for
doing this on such short notice.”
“No problem. Dylan and I go back to freshman year at Yale. He’s like the brother
I never had. He needs a favor, he’s got it. Now, come with me. I’ve got a car
waiting. You can tell me everything you know as we head to the hospital.”
The guys told Paul what they knew as well as how, up until winter break, Zac had
nothing to do with Nicky or drugs. Paul made a bunch of notes on his iPad and
absorbed everything he was being told. Once their story as over, he turned off
his tablet and focused on them.
“Okay, so it’s not as bad as it seems. Your friend is definitely in some
trouble, but since it’s his first offense and if I can prove that he just had a
couple of rough weeks, but normally is a well-adjusted freshman in college, I
might be able to get the DA to drop the intent charge. She has a soft spot for
misguided youth. Then he’d just be looking at maybe six months?”
“Six months?!” Jason exclaimed. “He can’t go to jail for six months! Not even
for six hours. Please Paul, there has to be more that you can do.”
“I’m sorry, Jason, but the bottom line is that Zac was caught in a drug deal
that went bad and was caught with a lot of drugs when it went down. With the
other guy dead, he’s going to end up taking the fall. Trust me, six months is
nothing compared to the ten years he could face with the intent charge.”
“What about if there were extenuating circumstances? Something going on in his
life that made him snap.”
“Like…?”
“Look, Zac and I have been dating for…well, I don’t know. It was tricky in the
beginning with me living in Pittsburgh, but I’d say at least a year. Then, a few
months ago I was…”
When Jason paused, Justin took his hand. “Jas, you don’t have to do this. It
might not even help.”
“I have to do it. I have to try. I’m okay,” Jason assured his friend before
turning back to Paul. “I was raped on the ASU campus right before Thanksgiving.
It’s been really hard on Zac. He was living on campus, walking past the scene of
the attack almost every day while I was staying in Sierra Vista, afraid of my
own shadow. I haven’t been handling it well and as sweet and supportive as Zac
has been, I’ve been pushing him away; shutting him out. Then I broke up with him
right before Christmas. I thought I was doing him a favor, letting him off the
hook, you know? So he didn’t have to deal with the messed-up boyfriend. I never
should have done that to him. Not the way I did. That’s when he started hanging
out with that scumbag Nicky. It’s all my fault.”
“It’s not your fault,” David jumped in even though he didn’t know Jason that
well. “Look, what happened to you was horrible beyond words, and I’m sure it
affected Zac in ways that none of us can understand, but it’s not your fault.
You have to deal with what happened to you in whatever way works best for you.
Screw anyone else.”
“But…”
“Hey, I’m not saying that what happened to Zac is entirely his fault. He’s had a
rough go of it and made a few mistakes, but I think it’s understandable under
the circumstances. He definitely deserves a second chance in my book. I’m just
saying that your guilt is unnecessary and unwarranted. It’s not your fault,”
David replied.
Jason’s tear-filled smile touched Paul’s heart. “David’s right. There’s always
more than one victim of such a brutal attack. For what it’s worth, I’m really
sorry. I heard about the campus attack. I hope they catch that asshole. Anyway,
are you sure you want me to use the attack as a reason for Zac’s behavior? It
will become part of his defense and could possibly go public. I know that some
of the details surrounding your case never became public knowledge, although I
don’t know how that happened.”
“We happen to know some important people,” Brian laughed as he thought about Ed
Baker and what he went through to keep the rape out of the news.
“Listen, of course I don’t want my private struggles out there for the world to
see, but I’ll do whatever it takes to save Zac from going to prison. He doesn’t
deserve that,” Jason assured him. “Do you think telling the DA will help?”
“It just might, but I won’t do it unless I have to. Now I spoke to my contacts
at the hospital. As I imagined, Zac isn’t allowed to have visitors other than
his legal counsel, so why don’t you guys go on home? You’re all exhausted. I’m
going to go get his side and then do what I can to arrange his bail before he
even has to see the inside of a cell. I think he’ll heal much better at home.”
“But…” Jason began.
“Jas, there’s no point in sticking around if they’re not going to let us see
him,” Justin pointed out. “Let’s just go back to the house and sleep for a
little while. We all need it.”
Jason sighed in defeat. “Alright, but will you call us and let us know what’s
going on? Please?”
“I promise,” Paul assured him.
“And tell him…could you tell him that I love him?” Jason said tearfully.
“Yeah, I’ll tell him,” Paul promised. “I’ll talk to you boys later.”
As soon as Paul was out of the car, Brian turned to David. “That was really nice
of your brother to jump in and reach out to his friend like that. Nice of both
of you.”
“It was no big deal,” David brushed off the praise. “Why don’t we get going? I
still need to find a hotel to stay at.”
“I thought you’d stay with me,” Matt jumped in.
“Babe, I’d love to stay with you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Spending a
little time with your family is one thing, but staying there 24/7? That’s too
much of a risk. I won’t be the reason your parents find out that you’re gay.”
Jason gasped in shock. “You’re gay? I mean…you’re…out?”
“You know?” Justin asked incredulously.
Matt chuckled. “Jason asked me about it on Thanksgiving when we were all hanging
out by the lake. He was watching us and picked up on subtle clues. He’s very
good at reading people.”
“So I guess this means that you guys are officially together?”
“Since Thanksgiving,” Matt acknowledged. “You were right. Life really sucks
sometimes. We have to do what makes us happy when we have the opportunity.”
“I’m glad you decided to go after what you wanted,” Jason replied.
“Me too,” Matt said as he took David’s hand.
“So, if David can’t stay at your house, he might as well come stay at ours,”
Brian said to Matt. “This way he’s close by and you spend most of your time at
our house anyway. It’s the next best thing.”
“Guys, I don’t want to intrude. I can stay at a hotel. It’s really not a
problem,” David insisted.
“You wouldn’t be intruding. We have plenty of room. Just because you can afford
a hotel doesn’t mean you should stay in one. You’ll be more comfortable with
friends. Unless you don’t want to stay with us. Is there something wrong with
us?” Brian asked, hiding his smile.
“No, of course not,” David replied quickly. “I didn’t mean anything by…”
“Babe, he’s teasing you,” Matt interjected.
David looked between Matt and Brian and then laughed. “Ass.”
“Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Just come stay at the house.”
“Dude, you might as well give in,” Jason spoke up. “When it comes to the Morgan,
Kinney, Taylor clan and their do-gooding, there’s no winning. It’s easier to
just do what they say. Trust me.”
“Okay fine, thank you. I appreciate your offer,” David finally said.
By the time they got to the house, it was empty. Chris was at the paper, Zan was
at the center and Sophia was at school. Brian directed Jason to his old room
downstairs and sent Matt and David upstairs to the spare room before leading
Justin down to the basement. He’d bet money on them all being sound asleep
within minutes. After stripping down to his boxer briefs, he climbed into bed
and took Justin in his arms.
“Do you think Paul will be able to get Zac off?” Justin asked sleepily.
“I hope so,” Brian replied. “Now let’s get some sleep. I’m exhausted.”
Justin didn’t reply. He was already sound asleep.
~~~@~~~
The first thing Paul noticed when he got to the doorway of the hospital room and
found his client sleeping was that he looked like a young child. Lying in bed
with his shoulder bandaged and sleep keeping his worries away, anyone would’ve
guessed him to be no more than twelve or thirteen. Seeing someone so young and
basically innocent made his determination to win the case skyrocket.
He walked into the room and put down his briefcase. He grabbed his iPad and
started making a few more notes while his client continued to sleep. He’d been
there about twenty minutes before Zac started showing signs of waking up. Paul
put down his iPad and approached the bed.
“Hey, Zac, my name is Paul Barrett. I’m a friend of the Jackson family and I’ve
been asked to take your case. Is that okay?”
Zac nodded sleepily. “I guess so. I…uh…I’m kind of in some trouble. They’re
going to put me in jail. I never should have…it was so stupid…and now Nicky is…”
Paul watched as the young man fought to maintain his composure. He grabbed a box
of tissues and offered them as he took a seat of the side of the bed. “Hey, try
to relax. I’m going to do everything I can to fix this. There’s no doubt that
you made a few mistakes, but I’m here to see that those mistakes don’t ruin your
life.”
“I just screwed up so bad,” Zac cried as he reached for the tissues. “I can’t
believe I screwed up so bad. Nobody’s gonna wanna talk to me ever again. He’s
never going to talk to me again.”
Paul smiled. “By he, do you mean Jason?”
“How…what…”
“Zac, I just sent your friends home to get some rest. They’re really worried
about you. In fact, they were in New York and flew home early this morning to be
by your side. I picked them up at the airport. As for Jason, he asked me to tell
you that he loves you.”
Zac crumpled right before Paul’s eyes. Heart wrenching sobs filled the room as
the young man finally let go and allowed himself to feel the pain and fear that
had been plaguing him ever since the shooting and his arrest. Paul got up and
left the room in search of fresh water, giving Zac a few moments to himself in
the process. By the time he returned, Zac had pulled himself together and was
drying his eyes.
“Sorry about that,” he said softly.
“No need to apologize. You’ve had a rough 24 hours. I wish I could let you get
some more rest, but I really need to hear your side of things. I need to meet
with the DA and arrange for a bail hearing. I’m hoping to be able to get
everything resolved before your doctor releases you so you don’t have to see the
inside of a jail cell,” Paul explained. “You’ll heal much faster at home. Have
you spoken to your parents?”
“Not really. I think they were here last night after I got out of surgery, but
it’s all kind of fuzzy. They said I’m not allowed to have visitors.”
“No, you’re not. Technically you’ve been placed under arrest. If you hadn’t been
injured you’d be in jail right now. I’ll reach out to them when I’m finished
here and let them know what’s going on(,) if that’s alright with you. Since
you’re eighteen, I can’t give information to anyone without your consent.”
“Please, definitely let them know what’s going on. My mother is probably so
upset right now. I had my phone last night when I got here, but they took my
belongings before surgery and I don’t know where anything is. The only person I
managed to reach was Brian.”
“Luckily for you, since he’s the one who got the ball rolling. Now, relax and
tell me everything that happened since you started hanging out with Nicholas
Shaffer. Don’t leave anything out, even if it seems insignificant.”
Zac spent the next hour telling Paul everything there was to know about Nicky,
their friendship, and what they had been up to since his return from ASU. As he
thought about the last month and relived his experiences, he couldn’t believe
how stupid he was. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so involved with someone like
Nicky. Facing a prison sentence is getting off easy considering where Nicky
ended up. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was anyone out there who was
going to mourn for Nicholas Shaffer. He somehow doubted it.
Paul typed away on his iPad as he listened to Zac tell his story. There was no
doubt in his mind that his client was an innocent victim in Nicholas Shaffer’s
world. He just needed to convince the DA of that. “Zac, is there anything that
you can tell me that would help us find Shaffer’s supplier? Who he got his drugs
from?”
“Um…there was this guy that used to come by the apartment regularly. His name
was Stanley or Sterling or something like that. Nicky was always giving him
money. At first I thought he was the landlord or something, you know? Collecting
the rent or whatever…but no one pays that much rent. The last time he came by
was like four days ago. Nicky paid him three grand. There’s no way that was for
rent on his crappy apartment.”
“Did he ever give anything to Shaffer? Packages or something?”
“Not that I saw, but every few days Nicky would go out by himself. He never
asked me to go with him which I thought was strange because normally he wanted
me to go everywhere with him. He wouldn’t even go to McDonald’s alone. But of
course, I’m an idiot so I never questioned him.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
“Why did I stay with him?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, you have a great group of friends, you have loving parents,
and you’ve got the chance at a good future ahead of you. Why stay with a guy
that’s clearly no good for you?”
“I don’t know, but I’m sure there’s a psychologist out there ready to take all
my money to figure it out,” Zac said, laughing for the first time in ages. “Ever
since I hit my teen years and started dating, I’ve been kind of retarded when it
comes to relationships. Whenever my relationships ended, I always found someone
to attach myself to so that I didn’t feel so alone. Nicky was an easy one
because we dated five years ago, back before he turned into such a loser. We
only dated for a few months before realizing that we didn’t have anything in
common. I had met Brian and his friends by then and they hated Nicky. We stayed
friends, but rarely saw each other except for when I was mending a broken heart.
Because of our history, he was easy to fall back on. Eventually Brian became my
go to guy. A much better choice, of course. But now he’s involved with Justin
and Justin is Jason’s best friend so not only could I not hop into Brian’s bed,
but I didn’t even feel comfortable talking to him about it. Not when he’s so
important to Jason’s recovery. Jason needs the support more than I do right now.
I’m sorry…I’m really rambling, huh? Anyway, Nicky was there for me. He helped
ease the pain of losing Jason. That’s all that mattered at the time.”
“Yeah, I definitely suggest you find someone to talk to about your issues. Life
sucks sometimes. We just have to learn to deal with the bad times and enjoy the
good times. Trust me, I’m dealing with my own drama right now.”
“Care to share? Off the record, of course.”
“Well, my wife of five years left me for my best friend and she took my three
year old son with her. How’s that for drama?”
“Dude, that sucks. I’m so sorry,” Zac replied.
“Hey, it’s part of life. I’ll get visitation rights, see my son as often as I
can, and move on. It’s all I can do, right?”
“Well, I wouldn’t recommend hooking up with a drug dealer, that’s for sure,” Zac
teased.
“I’ll remember than,” Paul laughed. “Now back to you and your problems. Do you
think you’re going to have a problem giving up drugs? I’m pretty sure a part of
the plea deal I’m going to ask for will require a drug treatment program, but do
you think you’re going to need it?”
“I doubt it. I was doing drugs to forget, but I haven’t had anything since
yesterday morning and I’m fine,” Zac pointed out.
“True, but then again, you’ve been receiving pain killers at regular intervals
because of your injury.”
“Hmm…I didn’t think about that. But I still think I’m okay. I enjoyed getting
high, but I don’t think I had to do it, you know? Now, when you say drug
treatment program, are you talking about putting me away somewhere?”
“Not necessarily. I’m going to shoot for outpatient first, but inpatient if
they’re pushing for jail time. Trust me, rehab is better than prison any day.”
“I believe you. So, what do you think my chances of staying out of prison are?”
“Pretty good, I think. Especially given your cooperation. I’m going to pass
along the information you gave me on Stanley or Sterling. Someone will probably
contact you in the next day or two for a more detailed statement. If the DA
thinks she can land a bigger fish, she’ll go easier on you. In the meantime, try
and think if there’s anything else that might help to track down Shaffer’s
supplier. I’m going to go work out your bail and I’ll touch base with your
parents and let them know what’s going on.”
“How much do you think my bail will be? My parents aren’t rich. How does that
work? What if they don’t have enough money? Will I be forced to wait in jail?”
“Your bail has already been taken care of.”
“It has? How? I thought you haven’t talked to my parents yet?”
“David Jackson informed me that he’d be putting up the money. I just need to let
him know the amount as soon as I have it.”
“David? But…why? I met him once. Why would he do that?”
“I don’t really know. I’ve only met him once, too. This morning. He was very
chummy with your friends so if he doesn’t really know you, I imagine he’s doing
it for them. Just sit back and be thankful. It’s not like the Jackson’s are
hurting for money. I went to Yale with David’s oldest brother and believe me, he
helped anyone who was in need. They’re a great family who never takes their good
fortune for granted. Consider yourself lucky. Now get some rest. I’ll talk to
you in a bit.”
And with that, Paul was gone, leaving a very confused and scared Zac alone to
wait for news of his impending future.
~~~@~~~
Dane pulled around to the back of the restaurant like he had been told and
parked next to Eric’s dark blue SUV before taking a deep breath. He wasn’t sure
why he was so nervous. It was only going to be the two of them. It wasn’t like
Robert was going to be there, wondering why Eric would hire a no-experienced kid
like him. They were supposed to start working together the week before, but a
delay in the construction had left the kitchen a mess so they had to postpone
their lessons. The wait had been killing Dane and just making him more nervous.
After a really quick pep talk to himself, he got out of the car and went over
and knocked on the back door. Eric answered immediately.
“I thought I heard a car. Come on in. I’m going to give you a quick tour of the
place and then we’ll get to work. Just watch out for the work areas. The
construction crew finished up the kitchen yesterday, but they’re still working
on the dining area and the bar. They just left for lunch about ten minutes ago
so we’d better enjoy the peace and quiet while we can.”
After a quick tour of the place, Dane and Eric settled in the kitchen and got to
work. Eric had purchased the more common vegetables from their new supplier at
wholesale so that they had something to practice on. He figured it was money
well spent if Dane was going to be working alongside of him. The kid needed to
know what he was doing.
As it turned out, after just a few tips about the proper way to hold a knife,
Dane learned quickly and was chopping and slicing like a pro in no time. They
spent the next four hours talking about everything that Dane would need to know
to work in a kitchen. The knowledge made him even more anxious for the
restaurant to open so that he could start working. He shared his excitement with
Eric, who laughed at his enthusiasm.
“Remember you said that when I’m barking orders and you’re plotting my demise. I
can be a real asshole when I wanna be, and I don’t tolerate stupidity in my
kitchen.”
“I’d expect nothing less. I’ll be running my own kitchen one day and believe me,
I won’t tolerate stupidity, either. I promise I’ll work really hard for you. I
appreciate the opportunity you’re giving me. I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t,” Eric told him. “That’s why I feel confident giving you the
opportunity. Just do what needs to be done and everything will be fine.”
“You got it, boss.”
“Now what do you say we get out of here? Steve should be heading home about now
and we were going to throw some burgers on the grill. You up for it?”
“I’d love to, but Sandy has plans tonight with some of her girlfriends so I have
to get home for Julia,” Dane replied.
“So go get your daughter and then come by. We’re just chilling at the condo.
It’s not like she’s going to get in the way.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. I didn’t get to spend much time with her when we met. I’d
like to get to know her a little. I told you, I love kids,” Eric assured him.
“Okay, thanks. Give me about an hour and I’ll be over.”
“Cool. See you then.”
Dane drove home with a smile on his face. He had a great day learning some of
what he needed to know for work. The distraction was also great for him. He knew
he had been moping around ever since he and Michael split up. He still couldn’t
believe that he had been stupid enough to believe all the lies Michael had told
him. After feeling like such a fool for the first few days, he was ready to put
the whole ugly mess behind him. Unfortunately, Michael had other ideas. He
started calling several times a day right after Christmas, trying to get Dane to
listen to his feeble excuses. Dane only answered twice, both times to tell
Michael to stop calling. The calls started slowing down some, but he still
received them at least once or twice a day. School was going to be starting in
another week and a half, and the last thing Dane wanted to do was run into his
ex. He really wished the guy would just leave him alone. Sandy was just
finishing with her make-up when he walked through the door.
“Oh good, I was hoping you wouldn’t be too late. I’m so ready to get out of
here.”
“Is everything okay? Where’s my baby girl?”
“Everything is fine. Julia is sleeping, but I’m sure she’ll be up soon. She has
been pretty cranky today, though. Just a warning. I think it’s that tooth that’s
coming in. Every time I put her down today, she started crying. By two o’clock,
every time she cried, I cried. I was so happy when she fell asleep about thirty
minutes ago, but trust me, she won’t sleep long.”
“I’m sorry you had such a bad day. Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve come home
and helped out.”
“Don’t be silly. You were busy. I wasn’t going to bother you. Today was
important. Trust me, if you were just hanging out with the boys, I would’ve
dragged you home in a second,” Sandy laughed, knowing that Dane didn’t believe
her for a second. She never demanded much from Dane. She liked it better when he
went out of his way to be a great father. It meant more that way and helped ease
the guilt she still felt over foolishly getting herself and Dane into their
current situation. She loved her daughter with all her heart and wouldn’t trade
her for anything, but she never should have gotten pregnant in the first place.
Especially not by an eighteen year old gay guy. “Besides, she’s all yours now.
Do you mind if I spend the night at your sister’s place? I’d like to have fun
without having to worry about driving home.”
“Go ahead. I don’t like you on the roads late at night anyway. Julia and I will
be just fine. As soon as she wakes up we’re going to go visit Eric and Steve for
a while and then we’ll come back here, have a nice relaxing bath, and then spend
a little daddy/daughter time. Have fun.”
“Thanks, Dane,” Sandy said as she hugged him goodbye. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
As soon as Sandy was gone, Dane dropped down on the couch to wait for his
daughter to wake up. His parents were out of town for the week visiting some old
friends so he had the place to himself. He just grabbed the remote to turn on
the TV when his phone rang. He groaned when he saw Michael’s name on the screen.
He’d had about enough.
“Christ, Michael, can’t you take a hint? Leave me the hell alone!”
“Dane…please don’t hang up. I need to talk to you,” Michael pleaded.
“There’s nothing to say, Michael. Whatever we had is over,” Dane insisted.
“I know…but please…look, I’m outside your house right now. Just give me five
minutes. Please.”
“You’re here?” Dane asked incredulously. “Michael…”
“Please Baby, just let me talk to you. Please.”
Dane disconnected the call and tossed his phone down in frustration. The last
thing he wanted was to see Michael, but he was afraid he’d start pounding on the
door if he tried to ignore him and the last thing he needed was Julia being
woken up before she was ready. He sighed heavily and walked to the door,
steeling himself to face his ex before opening the door.
“What the fuck do you want?” he barked when they were face to face.
“Baby, I miss you so much. There’s got to be a way we can work this out.”
“Are you kidding me? There’s nothing to work out. We were together for months
and you lied to me over and over again. You promised me that your marriage was
over and that it had been over for months when you were still sleeping with her.
There’s nothing you can say that will make it all okay. Don’t you get it? I
loved you and you betrayed me. I can’t even stand the sight of you anymore.”
Michael didn’t verbally respond to that. Instead he grabbed Dane by the front of
the shirt and pulled him into a brutal kiss.
Dane didn’t know what was happening at first. It happened so fast. One minute he
was yelling at Michael, the next minute they were kissing. It had been weeks
since Dane had felt Michael’s lips, since he had been surrounded by the unique
scent that turned him on, since he followed his heart instead of his head.
Without thinking about what he was doing, Dane grabbed Michael and kissed him
back with a passion that he’d hoped was long gone. They somehow maneuvered
themselves into the house, slamming the door behind them. Michael had never been
in the Sommers home before, so Dane was the one who led them through the living
room and up the stairs. They quickly ended up in Dane’s bedroom, his king-sized
bed sitting in the center of the room just waiting for them.
Dane tried to pull back for a moment and catch his breath, but Michael wouldn’t
let him. He deepened their kiss as he reached for the button on Dane’s jeans,
desperate to get inside. He swallowed the moan that escaped Dane’s lips as he
gripped the younger man’s cock and began stroking him gracelessly. He needed to
get Dane so turned on that he wouldn’t come to his senses and end their pairing
before he reached his target. He needed to be inside his lover again. He needed
to show him how good they were together so that Dane would take him back.
“Oh God,” Dane groaned as he landed on his bed with Michael’s weight firmly on
top of him. He knew he needed to put an end to what was happening between them,
but he couldn’t seem to make himself do it. Not when the man was kissing him and
nibbling on his neck. Not when he was stroking him just like Dane enjoyed. He
wasn’t that strong. “Please Michael…”
“Please what, Baby? Please what? Tell me you missed me. Tell me that you forgive
me for being such an ass. Tell me that you want me back here with you, where I
belong.” Michael begged. “I love you so much, Baby. I need you so much.”
“Michael…please…” Dane whispered as the enormity of what was happening began
breaking through his haze. “Please don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what, Baby? You always liked the way I played with your cock,” Michael
murmured as he continued to stroke Dane.
“Please don’t make me do this,” Dane said softly. “Yes, I like what you do to
me, but it’s not going to change anything. Don’t you see? You might be able to
get me to agree to a quick fuck, but I’m not taking you back, Michael. I can’t.
Any love I had for you died the moment you told me Maddie was pregnant.”
“But what about the connection we have? Look at us, Baby? We’re still hot for
each other? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“No, Michael, it doesn’t. This is just sex. I’m nineteen years old. It doesn’t
take much to get me off,” Dane replied as he slowly regained his strength.
“Hell, last year I got a girl pregnant. It doesn’t mean I’m not gay. If you keep
this up, I will probably give in and have sex with you, but it won’t change a
thing between us. We’re over. There’s nothing you can say or do to change that.
So maybe it’s time to go, don’t you think?”
Michael looked at Dane in shock as he withdrew his hand and got up off the bed.
“Wow, when did you get to be so cold?”
Dane chuckled humorlessly. “I don’t know. Probably when the man I loved broke my
heart. Please stop calling me, Michael. I don’t want to have to change my
number.”
Michael stared at Dane for another moment before disappearing. Dane waited until
he heard the front door slam and a car pull away from the house before he gave
into the tears that threatened to fall. He wasn’t sure where he’d gotten the
strength to send Michael away. He wished he had been telling the truth when he
said that the love he’d had for the older man died when he learned of Maddie’s
pregnancy, but it had been a lie. He still loved Michael with all his heart, but
as the days passed, it was getting easier and easier to put the whole sordid
mess behind him. He knew that one day the love would die. It was just taking
longer than he had hoped. He pulled out his phone to send Eric a text,
cancelling dinner, but stopped himself before he could hit send. He had Julia to
think about. He didn’t have time to wallow. He didn’t even want to. Michael
wasted enough of his life. He wasn’t going to give him the power to waste
anymore.
~~~@~~~
Steve was just finishing up with a customer when she walked through the door. He
didn’t know anything about her other than she made his heart rate step up a
notch and his palms sweat. She was beautiful, with long brown hair and deep
brown eyes. Her body wouldn’t land her on a runway, but the extra few pounds she
carried left her with curves that Steve longed to caress. She’d been coming into
the store at least three times a week for the last four weeks, letting Steve
know that she was fairly new to the area. He had decided the night before as he
laid in bed and thought about her, that today would be the day he made his move.
He wanted to talk to her about more than what books were 20% off.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite new customer.”
“Hi,” she replied with a hint of shyness. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
Steve laughed. “Actually, I’ve never used that cheesy line before in my life.”
“I wouldn’t recommend using it again,” she teased.
“Duly noted. So, after throwing out that awful line, are you going to put me out
of my misery and at least going to tell me your name?”
She blushed. “My name is Charlie.”
“Charlie, huh? I like it. What’s it short for?”
“Charles actually,” she laughed. “My father really wanted a boy and I have four
older sisters. I was his last chance.”
“Well, I’m not sorry you aren’t a boy,” Steve mumbled. He could tell by
Charlie’s blush that she heard him. “I’m Steve. So, where are you from? I hear a
bit of an accent in your voice.”
“I’m from North Carolina. I just moved out here to spend some time with my
grandma.”
“North Carolina, huh? Are you planning on sticking around for a while or is this
just an extended vacation?”
“I’m planning on sticking around for a while. My grandpa passed away last year
and poor grandma has been out here all alone. I didn’t have anything keeping me
on the east coast, so here I am,” she explained.
“Score one for Arizona,” Steve said brazenly. “I hope I’m not being too forward,
but is there any chance you’d like to have dinner with me tonight?”
The surprise in Charlie’s face was obvious. “Um…wow. I…uh…I don’t think I can.
Things are crazy for me right now.”
Steve tried to hide his disappointment. “Oh…alright. Maybe some other time.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“You don’t have to apologize. If you don’t want to go out with me, that’s fine.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Charlie insisted.
“Things are just crazy for you right now. I get it. It’s not a big deal. I just
thought…” he trailed off.
“You thought what?” she prodded.
“I just thought that…I guess it was stupid, but you come in here at least three
times a week and you hardly ever buy anything. I guess I just thought you were
coming in here for more than just the books,” Steve admitted.
“I was…I mean…look, to be completely honest with you, I have been coming in for
more than just the books. It’s just that…”
“Things are crazy. I know. You said that.”
“Okay, I’ll agree to meet you tonight, but I can’t do dinner…and it’s only to
explain to you why my life is so crazy right now, alright? Once you hear my
story, I’m sure you’ll be relieved I turned you down.”
“I doubt that, but okay. Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”
“How about if we meet at the ice cream shop down the street at 8:30? Is that
okay?”
“Perfect. I’ll see you there.”
Steve waited until Charlie was gone to do his happy dance. The few customers
that had heard the tail end of their conversation laughed at his antics. He
couldn’t wait until 8:30. He had no intention of letting Charlie get away. Not
when she was the first girl to draw his attention in a very long time.
Because of the distraction of Charlie and their upcoming date, Steve was a
little late getting out of the store. He didn’t reach the condo until 5:30 and
was a little surprised to find Dane and Julia there. “Hey guys, what’s going
on?”
“My student earned a burger today,” Eric laughed as he stood up. “And it’s about
time you got here. We’re starving.”
“You could have started without me.”
“Na, I wouldn’t do that. I promised you one of my famous burgers tonight and
that’s what you’re going to get. Have a seat and talk to Dane while I light the
grill.”
“It’s good to see you,” Steve said as he reached down and picked up Julia, who
had been lying on a blanket playing with her feet. “And how are you, beautiful
girl? God, I can’t believe how big you’re getting.”
“I know. I can’t believe she’s ten months old already. The time flew by,” Dane
replied. “She’s so amazing, though. I didn’t even think it was possible to love
someone so much.”
“I hate that I haven’t seen much of her lately. You’ll have to start bringing
her around more. I’m being a horrible honorary uncle.”
“No you’re not,” Dane laughed. “Life just gets crazy sometimes.”
“So I’ve heard,” Steve mumbled.
“Huh?”
“Oh…nothing.”
Dane looked at his friend, but didn’t push. “So how are things down at the store
now that Zander isn’t there much?”
“It’s good. Really good. I love being in charge, you know? Making the decisions
of what displays to build and what books to order. And they started construction
on the space next door a few days ago. They’re going to do as much as they can
over there before breaking down the wall so that we can stay open as long as
possible. I’m so excited to see how it’s all going to look. I’ve been spreading
the word about the addition. Our regulars are anxious to have a place to hang
out at night. I really hope this works out for Zan.”
“Me too. How’s he liking the therapy gig?”
“He loves it,” Steve said. “You know Zan, I think he was born to help people. He
was only supposed to be doing twenty to twenty five hours a week, but he’s there
all the time. It’s nice to see him so excited about what he’s doing.”
“I really need to get over there and see everybody. I feel out of the loop.”
“I know you’ve been dealing with your own stuff lately. How are you?”
Dane sighed. “Stronger than I thought, apparently. I just had a run in with
Michael a little while ago. I handled it much better than I thought I would.”
Steve listened in horror as Dane relayed the story of Michael’s sudden
appearance at his house. “What an asshole.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Who’s an asshole?” Eric asked as he reentered the living room.
“Dane’s ex. He just showed up at his house earlier, begging Dane to take him
back.”
“Is that why you were upset when you got here? Why didn’t you say something? I
knew that something was bothering you.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Dane said as he tried to brush the incident off. “I’m
okay.”
“Bullshit. It is a big deal. He almost raped you!” Steve exclaimed.
“What?!” Eric barked.
“No he didn’t,” Dane insisted. “It wasn’t like that. I let him into the house.
Hell, I dragged him in. It was a moment of weakness, but I encouraged him. As
soon as I asked him to stop, he did. He didn’t really do anything wrong.”
“Yes he did. He showed up at your house after you made it clear to him that you
don’t want to see him anymore. Maybe you should get a restraining order against
him. Make sure he stays away from you,” Steve suggested.
“Better yet, let me go talk to him. Give me five minutes alone with him and I
guarantee he won’t bother you again,” Eric growled.
“Guys, relax. It’s okay. I think he finally got the hint this time. If not, I’ll
consider the restraining order, okay?” Dane offered. “And Eric, I appreciate
your concern, but I’m not letting you talk to him. He’s not worth it.”
After a few more minutes of assuring his friends that he was okay, the subject
was changed too much happier subjects. Julia’s crankiness from earlier seemed to
have disappeared during her nap and she spent the next couple hours charming
both Steve and Eric with her easy manner and heartwarming giggles. By 7:30, the
situation with Michael was far from Dane’s mind. He enjoyed spending the evening
with his daughter and his friends and loved the way his friends doted on his
little girl. They accepted her without reservation and played honorary uncles
well. He hated that the evening had to end, but he needed to get Julia home and
into bed.
“I guess we should get going. My baby girl needs a bath and bed.”
“Yeah, I’ve got to jump in the shower, too. I’m meeting someone in a little
while,” Steve said.
“Really? Who?” Eric asked as he turned his focus from Julia to Steve.
“Nobody…well, nobody yet,” Steve replied.
“You have a date?”
“No, not a date. At least not yet. I’ll let you know if that changes,” Steve
promised.
Dane smiled at his friend. “I’m sure you’ll win her over. You’re a great guy and
you’re sexy as hell.”
Steve looked skeptical. “Really?”
“Hell yeah. If you were gay, I’d be all over you,” Dane laughed.
“I bet you say that to all the straight guys,” Steve said, thinking back to his
conversation with Charlie.
“Yeah, I do. But with you I mean it. Trust me, all you have to do is flash that
killer smile and she’ll be eating out of your hands. Call me and let me know how
it goes.”
Dane quickly packed up Julia’s things and headed towards the door. Steve was
already in the shower, so Eric carried Julia to the car while Dane stowed the
diaper bag and baby chair. Once he was done, he turned to Eric and took his
daughter, strapping her into the car seat with care.
“Thanks for dinner, Eric. Julia and I are flying solo tonight. I would’ve
probably ended up eating a bowl of ramen if not for you.”
“Woah…that word is not something that should ever come out of the mouth of an
aspiring chef, man.”
Dane laughed. “Sorry…I guess I still have a lot to learn despite your amazing
lessons. Seriously though, thanks. I’ve been spending a lot of time wallowing
lately. I think it’s time I put the whole Michael mess behind me and move on. He
doesn’t deserve my time and energy.”
“No, he doesn’t. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time right now, but don’t
worry. One day you’ll find a guy that’s right for you and it’ll be amazing. You
have plenty of time.”
Dane thought about that for a moment. “You know, people would probably think I’m
crazy feeling the way I do, but I don’t want to wait, you know? I may only be
nineteen, but I’m a dad. That ages a person mentally. I don’t want to be dating
different guys every week. What would that say to my daughter? Besides, I wanna
find someone who will be there for her, too. Someone who will love us both. I
don’t know, maybe I am crazy.”
Eric laughed. “I don’t think you’re crazy. Not much, anyway. And there’s nothing
wrong with knowing what you want at nineteen. It doesn’t happen often, but it
can happen. Look at Brian and Justin. I somehow doubt they consider their
relationship temporary. They might actually fall into the category of a lucky
few who find what they’re looking for at an early age and it sticks. Everyone is
different. Every relationship is different. You just have to be patient and not
settle for some asshole just because you want to settle down.”
“Okay, point taken. Thanks Eric. You’ve been a really good friend to me. I
appreciate it.”
“Hey, no problem. That’s what I’m here for. Now go get that precious little girl
home before she turns into a pumpkin,” Eric said as he waved dramatically to the
little girl in the car. Her squeals of laughter had both men smiling.
“You miss her, don’t you?” Dane asked softly.
“Yeah, I do. I spoke to my ex the other day. I’m going to drive up to Flagstaff
next week and see her. It sucks with her being so far away. I’m going to crash
on a friend’s couch for the night. Otherwise I’ll spend most of the day in the
car and barely get any time with her. I shouldn’t complain, though. I’m just
thrilled that I’m still allowed to see her. That’s not always the case in
situations like this. I’m very lucky.”
Dane smiled. “I think she’s very lucky, too.”
“Alright, enough of that. Get the hell out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow and
we’ll go over some other things you’ll need to know. You can also help me put
away my delivery. I’ve got a shipment of canned goods and non-perishables coming
in. I don’t know how I’m going to set up the pantry yet so we can figure it out
together.”
“You got it, boss. See ya tomorrow.”
~~~@~~~
By the time Paul touched base with David, it was almost eight o’clock. Everyone
was sitting around the living room while Brian explained everything that had
happened up until that point to Chris and Zan. They waited until Sophia was in
bed so that she didn’t hear what had happened. When David’s phone rang, everyone
in the room jumped at the sound.
“It’s Paul,” David told them before answering the call.
Everyone in the room sat in silence while trying to make sense of the one sided
conversation. The call seemed to last forever amid David’s intermittent uh huhs
and okays. As soon as David ended the call, Brian was on his feet.
“Well?”
“Paul was able to get Zac released on bail. As soon as he’s discharged tomorrow,
he’ll be going home.”
“Oh thank God,” Jason sighed with relief.
“What about the charges against him?” Chris asked.
“Paul still hasn’t worked out the plea bargain, but apparently the DA is feeling
a little bit sympathetic. Between that and Zac’s willingness to help find
Nicky’s supplier, Paul’s confident that he’ll be charged with simple possession.
He’ll probably have to enter some kind of treatment program and do some
community service, but he’ll most likely be able to avoid prison.”
“Did he…I mean…I guess Paul didn’t say anything else, huh?” Jason said in
obvious despair.
“He’s going to text me the number to Zac’s room. He has a phone now. He wants to
talk to you,” David smiled at Jason.
Jason just nodded as tears pooled in his eyes. He jumped when David’s phone
beeped.
“Here, just take my phone and go call him. I’m sure you’re both dying to hear
each other’s voice.”
Once Jason was gone, Brian turned to David and hugged him tight. “Thank you so
much. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”
“It’s no big deal,” David replied sheepishly.
“It is a big deal,” Zan offered. “Seriously David, what you did was really
great. In case you haven’t noticed yet, we take care of each other around here.
We’re all very grateful for everything.”
“I appreciate that. I’m just glad I could help. And thank you for letting me
crash here. I won’t be under your feet too long. I’ll just head back to El Paso
tomorrow. No sense in flying back to New York.”
“There’s no rush. You’re welcome here as long as you’d like. I mean, Sierra
Vista is no Big Apple, but we do have Matt here,” Chris teased.
“Yeah, I’m not heading back to school for another week and a half. Why don’t you
stick around for a while?” Matt said. “I’m going to tell Mark tomorrow. We made
plans to go hiking. I’d kind of like to have you around in case things don’t go
too well.”
“Well, I hope you don’t need me, but I won’t turn down an opportunity to spend
more time with you,” David smiled as he walked over and dropped down on the
couch next to Matt. “I’ll stay as long as I’m welcome.”
“So, you’re going to talk to your brother tomorrow?” Zan asked with concern.
“Yeah, I don’t want to keep lying to him. I’m just hoping he’ll be cool with it.
My biggest fear is that he’ll not only hate me, but he’ll go running to my
parents. I’m totally screwed if that happens.”
“I don’t think it will, but you know where to go if you need to,” Zan reminded
him.
“I know, thanks guys.”
“Okay, who’s up for a movie?” Brian asked as he walked over to the DVD holder.
“Not if you’re choosing,” Justin spoke up.
“I believe it’s my turn to choose,” Chris jumped in as he joined his brother.
“This is going to take a while…that’s if we even get to a movie,” Matt laughed.
“You know, you’re really lucky. No matter what happens with your brother
tomorrow or your parents in the future, you’ve got a pretty amazing family right
here,” David told him.
Matt looked around the room and smiled, knowing half the gang wasn’t even there
with them. “Yeah, I really do.”
~~~@~~~
Jason’s hands shook as he dialed the number Paul had sent. It rang twice before
a gravelly voice answered.
“Hello?”
“Z?”
“Hey,” Zac whispered. “I’m glad you called. I wouldn’t have been surprised if
you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“Of course I want to talk to you. I love you, you ass. My ending things never
had anything to do with my feelings for you. I told you that,” Jason replied.
“But let’s not talk about that right now. How are you? How are you feeling?”
“Like an idiot,” Zac chuckled humorlessly. “I’m so sorry for what I said on
Christmas. I was so messed up but I had no right to lash out at you.”
“It’s okay,” Jason said.
“No, it’s not. I was such an asshole to everyone. I’m going to be apologizing
until I’m fifty.”
“Yeah, you were pretty harsh, but no one’s going to hold it against you.
Seriously Z, how are you feeling? How’s your shoulder?”
“It hurts like a bitch, but the doctor said it could’ve been so much worse. I
was lucky. If the bullet hit me a little bit further to the right, it could have
caused some serious damage.”
“Jeez, Z,” Jason whispered as he shuddered at the thought. “So Paul said things
went well?”
“Well, better than they could have gone. I don’t think I’ll be heading back to
school for the spring semester, but he doesn’t think I’ll be heading to a prison
cell either. I don’t know. After wallowing for the last day and a half, I think
I’m kind of glad to be skipping spring semester. My head’s not into it, you
know?”
“Yeah, I understand completely,” Jason said.
“So you moved back to Pittsburgh, huh?”
“You did get my message.”
“Yeah, I got it. I’m not sure why you felt the need to move back there just
because of me, but I guess that if it helps you, that’s what matters,” Zac told
him.
“I just didn’t want to be in your way. On Christmas…you had a point. You’ve been
part of the family for a long time. You have more of a right to be there than I
do. I wanted you to have someone to turn to so you could…I don’t know. I don’t
know what I was thinking.”
“But you’re happy in Pittsburgh, right?”
“Um…
“J?”
“No, I’m not happy there. I’m miserable. My mother keeps trying to baby me, my
father doesn’t understand why I don’t like going out in public, and I miss
everyone so much,” Jason admitted. “Pittsburgh isn’t the same place I grew up
in…not anymore.”
“So, when are you moving back?”
“I don’t know if I am.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t keep disrupting everyone’s life. Zan and Chris finally got
their house back. I don’t want to just barge in on them.”
“You wouldn’t be barging in on them. I’m sure they didn’t want you to leave in
the first place. To them, your recovery is what’s important and if being here in
Arizona is what’s going to help you, than that’s where you should be. I’ll stay
away from the house if it’ll help.”
“Of course it’s not going to help. God, Z, how many times do I have to tell you,
I love you. I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do. You
were under so much pressure to be who you thought I needed, and I was under
pressure trying to be the person I was for you when he’s clearly gone. We were
miserable together.”
“And clearly being apart has done wonders for us,” Zac laughed humorlessly.
Jason chuckled, too, although he wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, well things weren’t
supposed to turn out the way they did, that’s for sure.”
“It’s my fault. I never should’ve gotten involved with…” Zac trailed.
“Z, are you okay? I don’t know what exactly was going on with you and this
Nicky, but you guys were obviously close. And now he’s gone. How are you
really?”
“I’m…mad…and hurt…and kind of all mixed up. Nicky wasn’t a bad guy. Not really.
He got mixed up in something that he never should’ve been mixed up in and it
lead him down a bad road, but it wasn’t entirely his fault. Both his parents
were drug addicts. He grew up having to take care of himself because his father
was never around and his mother was usually passed out. He even told me that
there were times when his mother…she let guys touch him so she could score drugs
when she had no money. God J, can you imagine growing up like that? It’s no
wonder he got involved in all that he did. He didn’t deserve to die. He was just
trying to live the only life he ever really knew.”
“I’m sorry, Z. I’m sure you really cared about him and I’m sorry that he’s
gone.”
“I did care about him…I’ve known him as long as I’ve known everybody else, and
even though we weren’t close…I’m just sad that he’s gone, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” Jason gave Zac a few moments to grieve before continuing. “So,
you’re going to be released tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to get out of here,” Zac said, gratefully taking the change
of subject. “Any chance you would want to come by and see me? I’m supposed to
take it easy for another couple of days. No driving.”
“Yeah, I’d like to see you. Just give me a call when you get home. But I’m going
to say goodnight now. You need your rest. You sound exhausted. Sleep well and
I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“I love you, Jason.”
“I love you, too.”
As soon as Jason hung up the phone, his tears started. Hearing Zac in so much
pain tore at his heartstrings, especially knowing that he was the cause of a lot
of it. He just wasn’t sure what to do about it. Getting back together didn’t
feel like the right thing to do at that point, especially when he still hadn’t
resolved his inappropriate feelings for Aiden. Although he hadn’t spoken to
Aiden in days. The older man barely took his calls and answered text messages in
five words or less. He really needed to figure things out, starting with whether
he wanted to go back to Pittsburgh or ask Chris and Zan if he could stay in
Arizona. The only place that really felt like home.
End of part 20
8/23/2013