Innocent Betrayal

Chapter 6

Justin spent the weekend basically locked in his studio working feverishly to finish up his paintings. After talking to Molly about Brian on Friday he needed to keep some distance between him and Luke until he could figure out how to handle things. It didn't matter that he was attracted to Brian, or even that Brian was attracted to him. There were other people to consider. Luke and Kyle were their partners and didn't deserve to be hurt by the men that claimed to love them. By late Sunday night, Justin had managed to finish everything up, surprising himself at his accomplishment. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was well after midnight. He knew that Luke would be sleeping so he poured himself a glass of beam and headed out back to sit outside and think. He was lost in thought when he heard Brian call his name.

"Justin," Brian called softly. "What are you doing out here so late? Shouldn't you be inside painting?" Brian teased. He had seen the studio light on deep into the night all week long and knew the man hadn't been sleeping much.

"Hey Brian. I finally finished the paintings so I came out here to unwind a little. What are you doing out here? Where's Kyle?" Justin asked, as he stood up and made his way over to where Brian was standing by the fence.

"He got called into the hospital. Oh, the joys of being a surgeon," Brian replied sarcastically. "Where's Luke?"

"He's sleeping. Tomorrow's Monday, back to school," Justin explained.

"I don't think I'd know what to do with a real 9 to 5 job anymore. I enjoy making my own hours and being independent. So, you finished all the pieces? That was quick."

"Yeah, I'm pretty amazed myself. I'm even happier with these than the ones that got ruined," Justin told him before surprising himself with his next question. "Do you want to come over and see them?"

Brian was startled by the question. "Now?"

"Uh…yeah, I mean…well, I just thought since neither one of us can sleep, but tomorrow is fine," Justin stammered.

"No, now's good. Give me a minute and I'll meet you out front," Brian replied, trying to justify in his mind the excitement he was feeling at the thought of being in Justin's studio again.

"Okay," Justin said as he walked back towards the house, mentally chastising himself as he went.

What was he thinking asking Brian to come over in the middle of the night? Then he thought about Luke, upstairs in bed sound asleep. Well, at least he knew he would be able to behave himself knowing that his boyfriend was a few feet away.

Brian met Justin at the door with a smile. "Okay Picasso, show me what you've got."

'Don't I wish,' Justin thought to himself as he led the older man through the house. He chose to ignore how sexy Brian looked in his warn jeans, wife beater and bare feet.

Once they were in the studio Justin turned to Brian and said, " Now give me your honest opinion. I'm going to get another drink. Do you want one?"

"Yeah, thanks," Brian replied as he looked around at the paintings. He couldn't help but laugh at Justin's hasty retreat. How could the blond be self conscious about his work? If Brian had had that kind of talent he would be showing it off with pride. Once he had looked them all over, his eyes fell upon a sketch book that was left on the couch. Without thinking, he grabbed the book and sat down, opening the cover to see what creations he would find inside. His heart stopped at the first drawing. It was of him, standing by what appeared to be a lake. The look on his face was captivating. He looked so calm and at peace; an expression that few people, is any, ever saw. He couldn’t take his eyes off the picture and jumped slightly when Justin reappeared.

"Here you go…" Justin said before noticing that Brian was looking at his sketch book. "Oh, uh…that's…" he stammered, embarrassed that Brian had seen his drawing. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to draw his neighbor other than the fact that he hadn't been able to get him out of his mind since they met. Luckily, that was the only drawing in that particular book. He had already filed the first book away in his bottom drawer.

"Is this what you see when you look at me?" Brian asked, not noticing Justin's discomfort. "I look so…content."

"I'm an artist; I see things that other people don't always notice," Justin replied weakly.

Brian looked up and saw the blush that was covering Justin's face. Without thinking about his actions, he stood up and crossed the room, pulling Justin to him and covering his mouth in a passionate kiss that caused his cock to harden on contact. He heard a strangled moan escape from Justin as he parted his lips to deepen the kiss. For a few moments, the world around them failed to exist while they lost themselves in each other. Justin was the first one to pull away, his eyes wide with shock.

"Why did you do that?"

"I just had to see if your lips were as soft as they looked," Brian replied huskily. "I've been wanting to do that since the first night we met."

"Shit, this is wrong," Justin said, more to himself than Brian.

"I know."

"We can't do this to Kyle and Luke," Justin stated.

"You're right."

"I mean…I feel so guilty every night, lying in bed with Luke and thinking about you," Justin admitted softly.

"You think about me at night?" Brian asked incredulously.

Justin was startled by Brian's question. He hadn't realized what he was saying when he admitted to thinking about Brian. "Yeah…I tried to…I guess I…"

Brian reached his hand up, caressing Justin's cheek. "Believe me, I understand."

"You do?"

"Perfectly," Brian replied, his eyes saying what his lips weren't.

"Fuck! What are we going to do?" Justin cried in exasperation.

Brian looked deeply into Justin's eyes before taking a step back. "We are going to do what we've been doing for the last week."

"Jerk off in the shower?" Justin laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Brian couldn't help but laugh at Justin's joke, although he had a feeling that it wasn't really a joke; it wasn't for him. "Well that too, but I meant we are going to have to continue on as we have been. Being neighborly and keeping our attraction to ourselves."

"Right, and no more kissing," Justin agreed.

"No more kissing," Brian conceded regrettably. "Well, I should probably get going."

"Yeah, I have to get up early and load the paintings in the van. I want to get them to the gallery and make sure they get hung before something else happens."

"Need some help?" Brian asked, although he knew that he shouldn't be putting them in a position where they spend any more time together.

Knowing that he should refuse, Justin couldn't seem to turn down the offer. "Sure, that would be great."

"Okay, well I guess I'll see you in the morning. What time do you want to load up?"

"Around nine? Is that okay?" Justin asked as he led Brian to the door.

"I'll be waiting." Brian leaned in and gave Justin a quick kiss on the lips before replying "between friends," and walking away.

Justin closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh. "What the hell did I get myself into?"

The next morning Justin guiltily stayed in bed while Luke got ready for school. He knew he was being a coward avoiding him like that but it was getting harder for him to hide his feelings and until he could get his emotions under control and find away to forget all about his attraction to Brian he needed to continue keeping a little distance between him and his boyfriend. As soon as he heard Luke's car pull away he rolled over and reached for the phone.

"This had better be good," Molly grumbled into the phone.

"Mol, it's me. I need to talk," Justin replied softly.

"Justin? What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"It's almost seven. Listen, I'm sorry to wake you but I needed to talk to someone and you're the only one I can turn to. You were right," he sighed.

"I was? About what?"

"Brian and I kissed last night," he admitted.

"You what?!" she asked, suddenly wide awake.

Justin proceeded to tell her about what happened the night before, making sure not to leave anything out.

"Oh Justin," she moaned.

"I know Mol, I know. What am I going to do? I feel horrible about what I'm doing to Luke. He doesn't deserve this and neither does Kyle. I know you're thinking that I should just behave myself, but it's not that easy apparently. I need your help; tell me what I should do."

"Justin, I can't help you with this one. Maybe you and Brian should sit down and really talk about this. I mean…are you falling in love with him?"

"I don't think so; I don't know. We really don't even know each other that well. It's got to be more of a physical thing, right?" Justin replied, although he wasn't too sure.

"Okay, this is what I think you should do. After you leave the gallery today, take Brian somewhere you can talk without worrying about Luke or Kyle showing up. Lay all the cards on the table and let him know that you love Luke and can't do anything to hurt him. I'm sure he feels the same way about Kyle. Set guidelines for your friendship and agree to stick to them," Molly suggested.

"Do you think that will work?"

"Well, it's either that or leave Luke. Is that what you want?"

"No! Of course not!" Justin insisted.

"Then you don't have any other choice. I love you Justin, but I can't sit by and watch you hurt Luke either. I love him, too," she replied honestly.

"You're right. Brian and I are just going to have to find away to get past this with our relationships still intact. Thanks Molly, I needed a good pep talk. I better get going. I'm meeting Brian soon and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet."

"Okay, good luck Big Brother. Give me a call and let me know how things go. Love you," she assured him.

"Love you too, Mol. Later," Justin replied before hanging up the phone. He laid in bed for a while longer thinking about what he was going to say to Brian, then headed in the shower. Once he was ready, he went downstairs to make breakfast and straighten up. His heart jumped a little while later when the doorbell rang.

"Hey," he said as he opened the door for Brian.

"Hey, you all set?"

"Yeah, let me just grab my keys so I can open the back of the van for us."

An hour later the two men were in the van driving towards the gallery when Justin finally spoke up. "Listen, I think we need to talk about things. After we're done, how about we grab some coffee and take a ride somewhere where we can have some privacy?"

Brian knew Justin was right. He had laid in bed all night thinking about their situation and knew they needed to come up with some sort of rules on what they should be doing. "You're right. I know a place we can go where no one will interrupt us."

"Okay, sounds good," Justin replied as he pulled into the parking lot of the gallery.

It took two hours for Justin to finish with the supervising of the hangings and then they were on their way. They made a quick stop at Starbucks before Brian gave him directions to where they were going. Justin was surprised to stop in front of an apartment building.

"Who lives here?" He asked in confusion.

"I do…or I did before we bought the house. I bought the loft years ago after moving up in the ranks in the company I was working for. It was my first major purchase. Kyle never liked it, but I didn't want to get rid of it so when we bought the house, I decided to keep it for awhile; just in case," Brian explained as they rode the elevator up to his floor.

Once they were inside Justin looked around in awe. "Wow, this place is beautiful. How come Kyle didn't like it?"

"He said it was a fuck pad and he didn't want the constant reminders of what my past was like." He chuckled at the questioning look in Justin's eyes. "I guess you could say that I was a little bit of a stud in my early years. I was one of those guys that fucked everything that moved. Kyle was the first person that I ever fucked more than once; the only one."

Justin wasn't sure how to respond to that so he continued to look around, stopping at the window to look outside over Pittsburgh. He was so nervous about having the conversation that he knew they needed to have that he never heard Brian come up behind him and jumped when he felt a hand on his back.

"You wanted to talk?" Brian said, smiling at Justin's reaction to his touch.

"I think we need to, don't you? Look, not only do I love Luke, but I owe him my life. If it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't be here," Justin admitted softly.

"What do you mean you probably wouldn't be here?" Brian asked, noticing the dark expression cross Justin's face.

Justin walk over and sat down on the couch. He never told anyone new about what had happened to him, but for some reason he was going to share the information with Brian. Taking a deep breath, he started from the beginning.

"About a year after Luke and I started dating, I was beginning to have doubts about us. I knew that I loved him, but it wasn't the all consuming love that I always thought I would find. I wondered if that kind of love was even possible with queers. I went out one night looking for a trick. I guess I just wanted to prove that love and relationships between queers was a fantasy. I told Luke what I was doing and even though he was upset, he told me I had to do what I felt was right and that he'd be waiting. I was a couple blocks from Liberty Avenue when some homophobic asshole came at me with a bat. I don't remember much after that, but apparently Luke had been so worried about me that he came out to track me down. He saw the whole thing from across the street. He tackled the guy, calling for help and kept him there until the cops showed up. Luckily there was a cop car around the corner who heard his cries. Once they showed up he was at my side, riding with me in the ambulance. I was in a coma, so he sat in the waiting room for three days waiting to see if I was going to live or die," Justin said, tears brimming his eyes as he thought back to that time.

"Wow," was all Brian could say.

"The funny thing was that once I woke up he told me that he was glad that I was okay and that he was still waiting. I knew right then that what we had was real. It may not have been the love that romance books were written about, but it was deep and strong. When I was released from rehab I moved in with him and we've been in a relationship ever since. I don't know what I would have done without him. I was really messed up after the accident. I lost some of the motor skills in my hand so I couldn't draw and I was afraid to be out in public places. He helped me with that. He spent countless hours massaging my hand through the muscle spasms and helped me get used to crowds," Justin's voiced trailed off.

"So you're with him out of obligation? He helped you and now you have to stay with him?" Brian asked angrily, although he wasn't sure why he was angry.

"What? No, I told you; I love him. Besides, what about you? You love Kyle, don't you?"

"I…I don't believe in love. I…care about him. We get along, the sex is great, but I don't believe in love," Brian admitted quietly.

"Brian, what are you saying? You want me to leave Luke? You want to leave Kyle?" Justin asked incredulously.

"Yes…no…I don't know. I never thought about leaving Kyle. We've been together for five years now, and it's been good; really good, but then I met you…Fuck!" Brian exclaimed.

"Brian,"

"Look Justin, what do you want me to say? I've tried to ignore this, to push you out of my mind, but I can't. I didn't come here to say this, but I just can't seem to think straight when you're around."

"I know, believe me, but we have to stop this. We have to think about Luke and Kyle," Justin reminded him again, struggling with his own feelings. This was all too much for him. These feelings that he was trying to deny were so strong they were threatening to overcome him.

Brian could see the inner struggle and knew he should just back off, but he couldn't. Being alone in the loft was causing him to weaken and without thinking about the consequences he pulled Justin into his arms roughly, covering his mouth with his own, forcing any rational thoughts that he might have out of his mind.

Justin felt Brian's mouth on his and what little bit of self control he had was gone. He parted his lips, deepening their connection and knew there was no turning back. He heard a moan radiate through the loft, but wasn't sure who it came from. Their hands started frantically reaching out, their need over powering their senses. Justin felt Brian pull him to his feet and in a matter of minutes their clothes were gone and they stood there locked in an embrace, their mouths still connected by their kiss. Brian pulled away first.

"Justin, I want you. If we go any further, I don't know if I'll be able to stop," Brian said huskily.

Justin looked up in to Brian's beautiful hazel eyes before whispering, "don't stop."

Brian placed a light kiss on Justin's lips then led him into the bedroom. He was glad that the furniture had been left behind as he gently pushed Justin down on the bed and climbed on top of him. They kissed again, expressing all the pent up passion that they had been feeling for each other, before Brian pulled away. He started placing light kisses along Justin's jaw, neck and shoulders, then worked his way down eliciting tiny gasping sounds from the blond; the sound going straight to his groin. When he reached the leaking cock he lightly licked the slit causing Justin to jump at the feeling.

"Brian…please," Justin moaned in response.

Brian smiled at the blond, reaching into the night table drawer for the condoms and lube that he had left behind. A small part of his brain reminded him that he had left them there figuring that he and Kyle would use the loft as a little getaway some time, but he quickly pushed those thoughts away as he looked down and saw Justin laying in wait for him. He flipped the lid on the lube, squirting some on his fingers and warming it before slowly inserting one finger inside the waiting hole. After a few minutes he added a second finger and began preparing Justin for the next step.

Justin was lost. He'd never felt anything like the passion and longing he felt with Brian and that thought scared him as much as it excited him. Any guilt that he might have felt disappeared as soon as he felt Brian's finger enter him. Time seemed to stop as he felt his hole being stretched and he longed for more. "Brian…oh God…fuck me."

Brian heard Justin's request and didn't hesitate to follow through. He withdrew his fingers quickly and sheathed his aching cock, covering it with lube before slipping inside Justin's warm hole. "God, Justin," he moaned as he buried himself inside. He gave Justin a few moments to adjust to his size, then began thrusting, slowly at first but then picking up the pace, bringing them closer to climax.

As soon as he felt Brian enter him, Justin felt as if all was finally right in the world; as if, in all these years, he had just been waiting for the moment when he and Brian became one. There was no Luke, no Kyle, no guilt; just the two of them floating in a sea of passion and pleasure. And as much as Justin wanted to prolong the feeling, the tightening in his balls told him that it wasn't going to last. He need to find his release more than he needed his next breath. Almost as if Brian had read his mind, Justin felt his hand reach between them and start pulling on his cock, bringing him impossibly closer to the edge.

"Justin…come with me," Brian rasped, feeling the room around him spinning out of control.

Hearing Brian's lust filled voice pushed Justin the rest of the way over the edge, causing his orgasm to overtake him, shooting his load between them.

Brian felt muscles tightening on his cock as Justin came, causing his own orgasm to rip through him like nothing he had ever felt before. Once it was over, he leaned down and kissed Justin deeply before pulling out and rolling over to discard the condom. Once he rolled back he opened his arms and Justin laid his head on his chest; neither one of them sure what to say. After about twenty minutes Justin spoke up.

"I…uh…I guess we should get going."

"Yeah, I have some work waiting for me at home," Brian replied softly.

They quickly dressed in the quiet loft and headed towards the door before Brian turned around and looked at Justin.

"Please don't say anything right now, Brian. I just can't…" his voice trailed off as his emotions bubbled to the surface.

"But we will talk about this?"

"Yeah, I just need some time," Justin whispered.

Brian nodded his head in understanding, kissing Justin one last time before opening the door. He followed Justin out of the loft, setting the alarm as he went. Once they were in the van, Justin headed towards home, so many thoughts running through his head. The one that hurt the most was the realization of what they had done. They had cheated on their partners; he had cheated on Luke and he didn't know how he was going to live with that secret inside of him. The drive was made in uncomfortable silence and Justin was relieved when he pulled into his driveway and saw that Luke wasn't home yet.

"Um, thanks for the help today. I guess I'll talk to you later," he said as he walked towards the door.

"Justin," Brian called to him.

Justin turned around and looked at Brian.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Brian offered with sincerity.

"Please don't apologize. You didn't make me do anything that I didn't want to do. I think that's what hurts the most. Good bye, Brian." With that Justin unlocked the door, leaving Brian to watch him go.

End of part 6
8/06/04

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