Arms of Destiny

Chapter 7
 

Justin awoke disoriented a few hours later and for a moment he forgot where he was. As the memories of the night before came rushing back, he looked over at Brian’s sleeping form and smiled to himself. The man was still as beautiful as ever, even after all these years. Looking at the clock, Justin saw that it was only 2:00am and sighed. For some reason, he thought that being in Brian’s bed would have cured his bout of insomnia, but then realized that being in his bed was not enough. He wanted to be in the man’s heart. He thought back to all that had happened the night before. Brian had asked him to stay, claiming he didn’t want to be alone, but Justin had no idea what that meant. They climbed into bed, then Brian took him in his arms smugly and promptly fell asleep. The man’s actions only added to the confusion Justin felt after they had shared their kiss. The kiss had been hot, filled with a passion Justin hadn’t experienced since he had walked away from the man he loved, and he didn’t know what to make of it all.

Justin continued to lay there and watch Brian sleep, trying to get his feelings under control. After about an hour of torture, Justin decided that alcohol was responsible for the emotions that Brian had shown earlier. Whatever he and Brian had was in the past and Justin refused to allow himself to read something that wasn’t there. It had taken a long time for Justin to be able to get through his day without an emotional breakdown over losing Brian. He wasn’t about to fall back into his old habits. Leaning over gently, so as not to wake Brian, Justin placed a soft kiss of the man’s lips before climbing out of bed. He needed to put some space between them before all reason flew out the window and Justin begged Brian to talk him back under any circumstances.

After getting dressed, Justin went to the kitchen and set up the coffee maker for Brian, knowing he was going to need it in the morning. Four years may have passed, but being back in the loft caused Justin to slip back into his old routine. He would always make sure to have Brian’s coffee ready in the morning after a long night of partying. When that was done, Justin walked over to Brian’s desk to find something to write on and was shocked by what he found there. Sitting on the desk was a framed picture of the two of them, taken at the GLC on the night of his art showing. He waited a moment and let the memories of a happier time flood his mind before pushing the thoughts away. He needed to complete his task and get out before the tears started to flow. He found what he was looking for, and then called a cab before sitting down to write a note for when Brian woke up.

B,

Than you for calling me last night. It’s nice to know that we can be friends after all that has happened. I set up the coffee maker for you. I’m sure you are gonna need it. I guess I’ll see you at the office on Monday. Have a good weekend.

J

Justin wanted to say so much more in the note, like how great it was to be back in Brian’s arms again, but he knew it was pointless. They had moved on with their lives and Justin didn’t want to stir up any trouble. Brian already accused him of trying to insinuate himself back into his life. The last thing he wanted to do was make Brian think he was right. He walked back to the bedroom and placed the note on the nightstand beside Brian’s sleeping form as quietly as he could. After looking around the loft one last time, Justin walked out, closing the door softly behind him.

When he got back to his mother’s condo, Justin was exhausted but couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Instead he mind was racing with everything that happened since he had been back. In his note to Brian he had said that he was glad they could be friends, but were they? It had only been two days so maybe he was jumping the gun, but Brian called him when he needed him and that gave Justin hope for the future. If he couldn’t be with Brian the way he wanted to, at least he could still be a part of the man’s life. Justin eventually drifted off to sleep only to be woken up a few hours later with another one of his nightmares. This one had seemed so real. Justin had been on campus, walking to his next class when a group of men attacked him from behind. He was trying to fight them off and was calling out to Brian to help him. Suddenly, Brian appeared, but instead of helping him, he was just standing there watching. He kept calling to him, but all Brian would say was “you never should have left Sunshine, you never should have left.” over and over again. Justin couldn’t stop the shaking or the tears that were running down his face. He just lay there, curled up in a ball, feeling more alone then ever. As the sun started to rise, he got out of bed and began his day, just like he had everyday since he left.

*****

When Brian woke up, the first thing he noticed was the pounding headache he had. He was cursing himself for getting so drunk the night before when his mind flashed back to him calling Justin. He had a vague memory of Justin lying in his arms as he fell asleep and realized he was alone in bed. He didn’t bother calling out to the younger man, knowing he wouldn’t still be there. Instead, he rolled over to the other side of the bed and enjoyed the lingering scent that he knew was Justin’s. As he slowly got out of bed, he noticed the note on the nightstand and tried to get his eyes to focus on the familiar writing on the page. After reading what Justin wrote, he sighed, and made his way to the kitchen to start the coffee. Justin may have thought he knew Brian, but if the blond thought for a minute that Brian would be satisfied with being friends, then he didn’t really know him at all. Brian sighed again, thinking that it really didn’t matter anyway. Whatever they had was in the past, Justin had moved on with his life, and he had to accept it. If all he could have was his friendship, he would just have to learn to live with it. After being without Justin for four years, he was thankful that he at least would have that.

Justin had a wonderful day despite the bad night he had. First thing he did was buy his own car. It wasn’t anything flashy, but he got a good deal from a dealership in town, and at least he wouldn’t have to rely on his mother for transportation anymore. He was picking it up on Monday. Once that was done, he went looking for an apartment. Armed with a newspaper, and enough money left in his saving account for a security deposit and the first months rent, the search began. It took a few hours, but by the end of the day he had signed a lease on a small two bedroom apartment in a nice neighborhood a couple miles away from the loft. By the time Justin reached his mother’s condo, he was feeling like everything was falling into place. He spent the rest of the weekend going through the boxes his mother had stored away when he went to Dartmouth. He was moving into his place the following weekend and didn’t see any point of moving boxes of stuff he was just going to throw away later. Jennifer promised to take him out shopping for the necessities he would need and he was excited about his future for the first time in a very long time.

When Justin walked into the office on Monday, he couldn’t hold back the smile he was wearing. The first thing he did was go to see Brian. He wanted to ask his boss for a longer lunch break so he could go pick up his car. He knocked on the door and walked in to find Brian on the phone with a client. Not wanting to interrupt the call, he turned to leave but noticed Brian waving him in motioning for him to sit down, so he listened to the one sided conversation.

“Mr. Grant, I can assure you that we will be able to make the changes in time for the release of your new line. I will fly out tomorrow morning. We can sit down and map out exactly what it is that you are looking for, then I will have my art department get right on it…I don’t think that will possible at this time…I understand that, but…alright, I’ll see what I can do…”

Justin could tell that Brian was getting agitated and knew that the call wasn’t going well, but was amazed how well he was holding his temper. He continued to watch the man as he ended the call and slammed the phone down with such force that Justin was surprised the phone didn’t smash to pieces. “Is everything alright?” He asked tentatively.

“That was Mr. Grant. He is the head of marketing for Playtime Toys. He wants me to fly to Chicago tomorrow and meet with him about a new toy line they are coming out with at the end of next month.” Brian replied as he paced his office.

“That’s okay. You have Cynthia to run things around here and I can start working on those accounts you gave me last week. How long will you be gone?” Justin asked, confused by the sadness he was experiencing over the thought of Brian leaving town. He liked waking up in the morning knowing he would be seeing Brian throughout the day.

“I’ll be back on Friday, but that isn’t the problem. The problem is that he wants my Art Director to come with me. He wants to make sure everything is perfect because the last agency they used screwed them over so badly that he doesn’t want to take any chances. Apparently, they are expecting big things from this new toy line and want everything to be perfect.” Brian explained, taking in the shocked expression on Justin’s face.

“He wants me to go? To Chicago? Brian, I’ve never done something like this before. I don’t want to go there looking like some stupid kid fresh out of college.” Justin replied nervously, and that was the truth, but what scared him more was the thought of traveling with Brian. It was easy for him to hide his feelings in the office, but to go to Chicago with the man and spending most of their time together, that was a different story. He took a deep breath and tried to get a hold of his emotions. This was his job and he had to do what was expected of him. At the sound of Brian’s voice, he looked up into hazel eyes and knew he would do anything to help Brian succeed.

“You are fresh out of college, but you are definitely not stupid. You are very talented, otherwise you wouldn’t be here in the first place. I have no doubt in my mind that you can handle this, and I will be there every step of the way. So Sunshine, are you ready to go to Chicago with me?” Brian asked, feeling his groin tighten at the thought of having Justin alone with him for 3 days in another state.

“Let’s do it!” Justin exclaimed, with a lot more confidence than he felt. He had a feeling it was going to be a long 3 days.


End of part 7
7/25/03

Return to Arms of Destiny