Arms of Destiny

Chapter 6
 

Brian was staring out the window thinking about all that had changed in the last two days. It had taken months for him to get over Justin’s sudden departure all those years ago, and even though the blond was never far from his thoughts, he managed to pull himself together and move forward. Or so he thought. Now here he was, four years later, right back where he started. His mind wandered to the last night he and Justin were together.

It was one of those rare occasions when Brian chose to stay home and relax. After a late dinner of Thai, Brian was lounging on the couch when he heard a knock on the door. He knew it had to be someone who knew the code to get in and he was happy to see Justin on the other side of the door. Brian noticed that Justin seemed to be acting a little strange that night. He kept catching the boy watching him when he thought the older man wasn’t looking which seemed a little odd, but Brian just chalked it up to strange teenage behavior. During their lovemaking, Justin had seemed almost desperate for contact and Brian could see sadness in his eyes, but he chose to ignore what he saw, not wanting to deal with any drama the teen was experiencing. For months after that night, Brian would wonder if he did the right thing by ignoring the warning signs he saw that night. If Brian had called Justin on what was going on, would the boy have left? Would Brian have had the nerve to admit his feelings if he knew Justin was about to walk out of his life? His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Glancing at the clock, Brian realized that the day was over. He spent another day thinking more about Justin then he did about work. He had to put a stop to this before it was too late. He wasn’t surprised when he looked up and saw the object of his thoughts enter the room.

“Hey Boss, I’m heading out for the weekend. Do you need anything before I go?” Justin asked, taking in the faraway look in Brian’s eyes. Something was obviously bothering the man and Justin wondered if there were problems with Just In Time that he didn’t know.

“No, go ahead. I’m sure you have big plans for your Friday night.” Brian replied, suddenly wondering what was going on in Justin’s life. He couldn’t help but wonder if Justin was seeing anyone special.

“Actually, I have a date. Some guy I met on the plane is taking me to dinner so I want to get home and shower. He’s picking me up at 6:00 and I don’t want to make him wait.” Justin explained, noticing a strange look cross Brian’s eyes. If he didn’t know any better, he would have sworn it was a look of jealousy, but this was Brian. The man didn’t do jealous. Besides, whatever they might have had was gone when Justin walked away four years ago. Justin chalked it up to wishful thinking and pushed those thoughts away.

“You have a date?” Brian questioned with his heart in his throat. He couldn’t believe that Justin would agree to go out with some guy he met on a plane, but knew there was nothing he could say about it. Justin was a grown man now and except for the fact that they worked together, they haven’t been a part of each other’s lives for a long time. It wasn’t any of Brian’s business, yet he still couldn’t help the heaviness he felt in his heart.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get out and have some fun. I guess I’ll see you on Monday. Have a good weekend, Brian.” Justin said as he turned and walked out the door. He pushed away the sadness he felt knowing that the only person he wanted to have dinner with was Brian. ‘God, when am I going to get over this man?’ Justin thought to himself as he made his way back to his office. He grabbed his jacket and walked out, glad to know that he wouldn’t have to see Brian for the next couple of days. As much as he loved his job, spending his days so close to Brian was beginning to take its toll on him and he needed some time away.

Brian watched Justin walk out the door and knew what he needed to do. He reached for the phone and called the one person he could count on to go out with him and help him forget the blond that invaded his life once again.

Brian stood by the bar in Babylon, trying to push away thoughts of Justin that kept invading his mind. He knew as soon as he walked in that this was a bad idea and regretted coming out with the boys. Listening to Michael whine about his newest boyfriend was just making him crazy. He was on his sixth shot of beam when he realized that instead of stopping the thoughts of Justin that were running through his head, all he managed to do was get himself drunk. He needed to go home and get some sleep.

“Mikey, I’m going to take off. I’ll talk to you later.” He said as he downed the last shot and walked away. He could hear Mikey asking if he needed a ride home, but ignored the man as he made his way out of the bar. As the fresh air hit him, Brian realized he was in no condition to drive. Unfortunately, with his mind jumbled by the alcohol, he wasn’t able to think straight. He staggered over to the jeep and climbed in, trying to think of what he should do next. He knew he could go back in and find Mikey to drive him home, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from reaching for his cell phone. Before he had time to think about what he was doing a familiar voice came on the phone.

“Brian? Is everything okay?” Justin asked, worried about why Brian would be calling him at 1:00 am. He had just gotten in from his date and although he had a good time, he couldn’t keep his mind off of Brian all night.

“Hey Sunshine, how was your date?” Brian slurred, kicking himself for being so weak that he had to call Justin just because he was drunk. He was turning into some lovesick teenager and hated it.

“Brian, what’s wrong? I’m sure you didn’t call me in the middle of the night just to ask how my date went. You are drunk. Where are you?” Justin asked.

“I went out with the guys tonight. Now I’m sitting in my jeep outside of Babylon, wondering how the hell I’m going to drive home. I guess I can’t drink like I used to. Another sign that I’m getting old.” Brian laughed.

“Where’s Michael? Why isn’t he driving you home?” Justin asked, wondering how Michael could let Brian leave by himself when he was so obviously drunk.

“I don’t want Mikey driving me home. I am perfectly capable of getting myself home. I’m a big boy now.” Brian slurred, trying to put his key in the ignition. All he managed to do was drop the keys. “Fuck!”

“Listen to me Brian. I am on my way. Do not leave. I will be there as soon as I can. Okay?” Justin asked. When the older man didn’t reply Justin started to panic. “Brian? Brian, answer me?” He yelled, wondering what was happening on the other end of the line.

“Stop yelling Sunshine, I’m right here. You don’t have to come here. I’ll be fine once I find my keys…shit, where the fuck are they?” Brian asked to himself. He needed to go home and he couldn’t do that until he found them.

“Brian, I am walking out the door right now. I will be there in ten minutes. Just stay where you are and wait for me.” Justin said before hanging up the phone and turning to his mother, who was looking at him with curiosity. She had been waiting up for him when he got home and heard the whole conversation.

“Mom, can you give me a ride to Liberty? Brian needs me.” He explained, hoping she wouldn’t give him a hard time about going to Brian’s aid. He should have known better.

“Justin, do you think it’s a good idea to get involved with Brian again? After what happened last time, I think it would be better if you just stayed away.” Jennifer suggested, not wanting to see Justin get involved with Brian again. It caused him nothing but heartbreak last time around and she can’t sit back and watch history repeat itself. In fact, Justin hadn’t mentioned Brian’s name since he came home and Jennifer didn’t realize that they were still in contact with each other.

“Mom, I’m twenty two years old. Please don’t tell me what to do. I am involved with Brian again. He’s my boss and he needs me. Now will you give me a ride or should I just start walking.” Justin spat, heading for the door. He wasn’t going to get into a discussion with his mother about Brian. It was none of her business. This was why he was so determined to get a place of his own and now that he had a job, he was going to start looking in the morning. For now though, he was going to go to Brian and nothing was going to stop him.

Jennifer was shocked to hear that Brian was Justin’s boss, but she could tell that now wasn’t the time to discuss it. She grabbed her purse and followed her son out the door, hoping that he knew what he was doing.

Justin had his mother drop him off a few blocks away from Liberty and walked the rest of the way. He couldn’t wait till he could afford a car of his own. Since he returned to the Pitts, he had been using his mother’s car, but he needed something of his own. He would put that on his list of things to do for the following morning, too. As he approached the jeep he saw Brian sitting behind the wheel with his head down. He thought the man was sleeping but as he got closer he could hear Brian talking to himself. Justin listened for a minute but couldn’t make out what he was saying so he knocked on the window to get Brian’s attention.

“Hey Sunshine, what are you doing here?” Brian asked as he fell out of the jeep, catching himself just before he hit the ground. He was drunk out of his mind and couldn’t figure out why Justin was there.

“Brian, you called me, remember? I came here to drive you home. What’s the matter with you? What did you take?” Justin asked, concerned by the condition Brian was in. He had known the man for years and had never seen him this out of it before. Justin was wondering if he should drive him to the hospital when he heard Brian start laughing.

“I didn’t take anything, Justin. I just had a few beers and a couple of shots. I was a good boy as usual.” Brian slurred and he leaded against the jeep to steady himself.

“Brian you don’t get this messed up from a couple of shots.” Justin said as he helped Brian walk around to the other side of the jeep.

“I do now, Sunshine. I’m not the same person I used to be. I don’t do the drinking and clubbing scene anymore. I gave that up a long time ago.” Brian explained as Justin helped him in the jeep. Feeling Justin help him in was causing him to become hard and through his drunken fog, Brian could feel himself leaning in to kiss the lips he had spent the last four years dreaming about. When their lips touched it was as though they had never been separated and the heat between them was still incredible. Brian lost all reason as he pulled Justin in to deepen the kiss.

Justin was lost the moment Brian’s mouth met his in a passionate kiss. The past disappeared and all that he could think about was this moment. He parted his lips and he felt Brian’s tongue enter his mouth and groaned at the warmth he had missed so much. A car horn in the distance brought Justin back to the present and he pulled back as if he was on fire.

“Brian, we can’t do this. I didn’t come down here to be one of your tricks. I came to make sure you got home safely.” Justin said, trying to get his breathing back under control. His whole body was shaking at the encounter and he needed to get away from Brian as soon as he could. He refused to be a drunken fuck. Those days were over. He closed the door and walked around to the other side, cursing himself for his weakness when it came to Brian.

Brian sat in the passenger seat staring out the window, overwhelmed by the feeling he still had for Justin. When they kissed, it was even better then Brian remembered and he knew he wanted more. Neither of them said a word through the short drive to the loft. Justin helped Brian inside the building and when the reached the loft door, Brian knew he didn’t want to let Justin go. Their shared kiss helped to sober him up a bit and now all Brian wanted was to have Justin in his arms. As they made their way over to the bedroom, Brian realized that if he didn’t do something soon, Justin would be gone and he would once again be left alone with his memories.

“Stay with me.” Brian whispered, his voice full of emotion.

“Brian, you know I can’t stay. I told you before that I didn’t come here to be your trick for the night. You are home safe and sound now, so it’s time for me to go.” Justin replied, even though his heart was breaking at the thought of leaving. When he walked through the door he felt as if he had just come home, but he knew that if he stayed for one night, he would never want to leave.

“Please, just stay with me tonight. We don’t have to fuck. I just want to hold you in my arms again. I don’t want to be alone tonight.” Brian begged, wanting to be able to say the words that were so hard for him the last time, but knowing it was too late for them. All he wanted was one more night with Justin in his arms. He would worry about the consequences later.

Justin knew that he should walk away now, while he still had the courage to go, but he couldn’t refuse when he heard the desperation in Brian’s voice. For some reason, Brian needed him there and Justin couldn’t walk away from him. He helped Brian undress and get settled in bed before undressing himself and climbing in alongside the man. As he rolled on his side feeling Brian take him in his arms, he knew there was nowhere else he would rather be. He would worry about the consequences later.


End of part 6
7/22/03

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