Arms of Destiny

Chapter 3
 

Brian was in the office by 7:00 am on Thursday, wanting to catch up on everything he had missed while he was away. He was experiencing a little bit of jet lag from his flight, but since he was meeting the new guy Cynthia hired for the art department at nine, he wanted to get some things done before then. He locked himself in his office and started going through his files when his mind suddenly wandered to Justin. Brian usually managed to keep his thoughts off the boy until he got back to his loft at night, but for some reason, he could not control his mind this morning. He thought back to when everyone realized that Justin was gone. Debbie called Jennifer and she confirmed Brian’s worst fear. Justin had gone to Dartmouth. They all figured that he would call them and explain why he never told anyone he was going, but that call never came. Now, here he was still thinking about the boy. Brian couldn’t help but wonder if Justin ever thought about him. As the memories of their time together played over in his mind, he was shocked to find Cynthia coming through the door.

“Hey Boss, welcome back! How was your flight?” She asked, noticing the dark circles under his eyes.

“Long. How are things here?” Brian asked, happy to see Cynthia. They had become pretty close in the last couple of years and he had missed her while he was away.

“Things are great, but if you don’t get a move on, you will be late for your meeting.” She replied.

Brian looked at his watch and wasn’t happy to see that he had spent the last two hours thinking about someone who was out of his life. “You go ahead Cyn. I’ll be there in a minute.” He told her, heading off to the bathroom. He needed a minute to gather his thoughts before starting his day. Why was it today, he couldn’t get Justin out of his mind? Cold water couldn’t shake him out of his thoughts; it was as if he was next to him.

Cynthia walked into the conference room and found Justin waiting patiently for her.

“Good morning Justin. I didn’t see you come in this morning,” she said, as she prepared a cup of coffee for Brian. She knew he must be tired from traveling and figured he could use it.

“I got here early this morning. I guess I’m a little nervous about meeting the boss.” Justin said honestly.

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll be okay. I’m sure you and Brian will get along just fine.” Cynthia replied.

Before Justin’s brain had a chance to absorb what Cynthia had said, he heard the familiar voice come into the room.

“Are you talking about me again?” Brian joked. He glanced over to the right and his heart stopped beating by what he saw. Justin was there, in his conference room, looking like he saw a ghost. He stared into the blue eyes that had haunted his thought for so long and felt like his world had stopped turning.

Justin looked up and saw Brian standing in the doorway. This couldn’t be happening. Brian couldn’t be standing there. It had to be a dream. If Brian was really there, that would mean that he was the boss they were waiting for. Justin could feel his heart racing and his head spinning. He couldn’t speak and was happy that Cynthia decided to make the introductions. He needed to pull himself together.

“Oh Brian, this is…” Cynthia stared, only to be interrupted by Brian’s voice.

“Justin,” was all he could say.

“Uh…hello Brian.” Justin managed to reply.

“You two know each other?” Cynthia asked, confused by the looks on each man’s face. She saw that Justin seemed frozen in place, watching her boss with a look of something resembling fear, but what worried her more was the look on Brian’s face. It was the same look he had in his eyes back during his dark period. There was obviously a lot of history between the two men and she was beginning to think that maybe hiring Justin Taylor was not the stroke of luck she thought it was.

“I…uh…I knew Brian before I went away to school.” Justin replied, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice.

“You mean before you ran away from your family without so much as a goodbye?” Brian spit out with anger.

“Brian,” Justin whispered.

“What’s the matter, Sunshine? Does the truth hurt?” Brian asked, feeling all the pent up anger he had towards the boy coming to the surface. His anger belied his hurt.

“Brian, that’s not fair. I had my reasons for doing what I did.” Justin tried to explain.

“You can save your reasons for someone who gives a shit, Sunshine. You come back to town and immediately try to insinuate yourself into my life. You hurt everyone. I won’t tolerate you stalking me again. This is beyond belief even for you, Sunshine. Now get the hell out of my company, you’re fired!” Brian exclaimed, before stalking out of the room.

Justin just stood there, unable to process what had just happened. He knew that he would have to face Brian again one day, but he didn’t think it would turn out like this. He never expected Brian to be so mad by what had happened, but obviously he had misjudged the man’s reactions because Brian was furious. Justin’s thoughts were interrupted by Cynthia’s voice.

“Justin, I am so sorry. I’ve never seen him act like that before. Brian is really exhausted right now. He has been away for two months and just got back late last night. Let me go talk to him. I’m sure once he has had time to think about everything he will realize that he was wrong.” Cynthia said, curious as to what had happened between them years ago. There was no doubt in her mind that whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“That’s okay, Cynthia. This is my fault. I should have done some more research on the company before accepting the job. I was just so excited to be coming home and starting my life, I guess I never really thought about the possibility of Brian being the owner. I’ll just get my things and get out of here. There are other agencies in Pittsburgh where I can apply. I was hoping my first meeting would have been when I was prepared for it. If I had known I could have warned you about this, but it is worse than even I figured it would be. If only he would let me explain…if only…” Justin replied, still in shock by his meeting with Brian.

“Please Justin, let me at least talk to him first. I really think you would be an asset to the company. It would be silly to let you go over something like this. Just go hang out in your office for now. I will meet you there after I talk to Brian. Okay?” Cynthia asked, hoping she was able to talk some sense into her boss.

“Cynthia, I really don’t…” Justin started.

“Please?” She begged.

“Okay, give it a shot, but in the mean time, I will be packing my things.” Justin replied.

“Thank you. Wish me luck!” Cynthia sang as she walked out the door.

Justin walked back to his office in a daze, knowing his career at Just In Time Advertising was coming to an end.

Cynthia found Brian pacing his office like a caged animal, mumbling to himself, with a bottle of beam in his hand. Taking a deep breath she slammed the door and started in on him immediately.

“You want to tell me what the hell that was all about?” She asked, trying to hide the fear she felt at confronting her boss.

“It’s none of you fucking business. Is that ungrateful little shit off the premises yet?” He growled, taking another swig from the bottle.

“No he’s not. He is in his office waiting for you to calm down. What the hell has gotten into you?” she asked, taking the bottle away from him.

“I told you, it’s none of your business. Now let it go, Cynthia.” Brian replied more forcefully.

“Fine, I’ll let it go. But Justin stays here. Brian, he is the best applicant we’ve had, not to mention it’s unfair for you to fire him because you had a relationship that didn’t work out.” Cynthia pointed out. She didn’t know what happened between them, but figured that it had to be something big for Brian to react the way he did, so she just assumed that they must have been together at some point. If the situation wasn’t so serious she would have laughed at the whole thing. She guessed the old saying was right on the mark. All the best ones were either married or gay.

“Who said we ever had a relationship? I don’t do relationships. I knew him awhile back and then he went away to school. End of story.” Brian said as he sat down on the couch he kept for the nights he worked late.

“That is not the end of the story. You wouldn’t have tried to fire him unless there was some kind of messy past. Now out with it. We have been fiends for a long time Brian and it’s time you started trusting me,” Cynthia said softly as she sat down next to him.

Brian took a deep breath and decided to tell her about Justin. He never opened up to anyone about his feelings for Justin before, but he realized that maybe it was time to start. Keeping everything in had only made everything worse. He took another deep breath and prepared himself for the emotions he knew he was going to relive.

“About four and a half years ago, I met Justin on Liberty Avenue. He was a virgin looking to get laid for the first time. I took him home that night.” Brian stopped as memories of the beautiful blond twink ran through his mind.

“And you fucked him.” Cynthia stated, much to Brian’s horror.

“Cynthia!” Brian exclaimed at her outburst.

“What? I’ve been working for you a long time, Brian. I learned a few things.” She joked.

“Do you want to hear this or not?” He asked, shaking his head at his friend.

“Sorry. Please continue.” She encouraged.

“I took him home, but before things could progress, Melanie called to tell me that Lindsey had the baby. Justin told his parents that he was staying at a friend’s house so he had no where else to go. I took him to the hospital with me. He helped name my son that night. When we got home from the hospital, I fucked him. That was supposed to be it. I don’t do relationships. I told him that, but he continued to stalk me. There was something special about him. As hard as I tried to push him away, he just pushed back even harder. I kept telling myself that he was just a trick, that he was no different then everyone else, but I was fooling myself. We went through a lot that year. His father tried to beat the shit out of me, even rammed my jeep, so I took him in. Then he forgot to set my alarm at the loft so I threw him out, just happy to be rid of him, but the little shit stole my credit card and took off to NYC. I went after him and brought him back. He moved in with Mikey’s mother after that.” Brian stopped talking and took another deep breath. He couldn’t believe how much he needed to talk to someone.

“Brian, are you okay?” Cynthia asked, noticing the far away look in Brian’s eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Anyway, after that I found myself spending more time with the kid, always making sure he knew that it all meant nothing. He was just the trick that wouldn’t go away. I guess I was trying to make myself believe it, too. When his parents announced that they were getting a divorce, Justin took it hard. Even though he had been accepted to PIFA, he agreed to go to Dartmouth, just to make his father happy. He thought that he was to blame for the break up. We all tried to talk him out of it, knowing that he couldn’t give up his dreams just to try to save a failed marriage, and we thought we succeeded. Then, when school let out, he took off to Dartmouth without so much as a goodbye. After I let him get closer to me then anyone else, he just took off. For a while I tried to forget about him. I believe that was what you refer to as my dark period.” Brian laughed, suddenly feeling a little better after spilling his guts.

“I wondered what was wrong with you back then. I was really worried about you.” Cynthia said.

“Yeah, it wasn’t one of my finest moments. Then one day, I woke up and realized that I couldn’t keep going the way I was. Justin was gone and I had to get myself together and move on. I made my plans for this company and worked my ass off to accomplish my goals. Now, here we are,” Brian said, as he got up and walked to the window. He felt raw after exposing his feelings but knew he needed it. He stared out the window, hoping that Cynthia would take the hint that he needed to be alone. He should have known better.

“You love him, don’t you?” Cynthia stated, already knowing the answer.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. The past is the past. We have both moved on and there’s no going back. No apologies, no regrets.” Brian replied, wanting to put an end to their conversation.

Cynthia didn’t believe a word Brian said. She could tell that he still felt strongly for Justin, but she also knew that he wasn’t going to admit it. Maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to get them back together and get rid of the sadness that has been haunting him for all these years. Well, first she had to make sure that Brian didn’t fire Justin. She would work out the rest later.

“Brian, you know you can’t fire him for this, right?” She asked.

“Yeah, I know.” Brian admitted somewhat reluctantly.

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” She asked.

“I’ll do it. Tell him to come to my office.” Brian replied.

“Sure thing, Boss.” She said with a smile. As she reached out to open the door, she heard Brian speak.

“Oh, and Cynthia? Thanks. I guess I needed that.” He offered, shyly.

“Anytime, Brian. That’s what friends are for,” she replied, as she made her way out the door.

‘What am I getting myself into?’ Brian thought as he waited for his newest employee to show up. He had a bad feeling about Justin working for him, but he knew that there was nothing he could do. By law, he couldn’t fire someone just because they had personal relations four years ago. Besides, he knew that Cynthia was right. He was the best man for the job. Now all Brian had to do was keep his distance, and hope for the best.


End of part 3
7/8/03

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