Accepting Your Fate

Part 1

Brian walked through the front door and went straight to the liquor cabinet. He couldn’t believe the scene at the hospital. It was bad enough that his parents had written him off after finding out he was gay, but to show up at the hospital and cause a scene hours after Stacy gave birth was just unacceptable. Stacy was happy with her life before he had returned to the states. Her marriage may not have been ideal, but at least they were still together. She was happy and living in blissful ignorance as to the trouble that existed within her family. Now, when she should be celebrating the biggest day of her life, she has to deal with the biggest family drama of her life. It just wasn’t fair, and it was all his fault. Grabbing a bottle of Jim Beam, he made his way upstairs to think about what he should do next.

Justin took a moment to pull himself together then walked into his wife’s hospital room, ready to take on his family. He saw the look of sadness on Stacy’s face and knew he needed to do something.

“I am ashamed of all of you. No one had a right to come in here and force Brian to leave like that. Brian was an invited guest, unlike all of you. He has been staying with us for months now, rebuilding his relationship with his cousin and helping us around the house. The fact that he was thrown out of his family because he is gay is disgusting and wrong, but it was your choice. Your loss too, because he is a good person, but we have a right to make our own choices as well, and we choose to have Brian in our lives. You can either learn to deal with it, or you can toss us away, too. It’s up to you. Now if you would all kindly step out into the hall for a few minutes, I would like to have a few moments alone with my wife.” Justin gave them all a look that said ‘don’t mess with me’ and everyone walked out of the room.

“Are you okay, Stacy?” he asked with concern. He could see how visibly shaken she was by the whole incident.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Is Brian okay?” She asked, worried about her cousins reaction to his parents.

“I’m not sure. When Jack told him he should go back to Europe, Brian replied “Maybe I will” then he left. I called after him, but he ignored me. I think they really hurt him tonight. I’m afraid he’s going to leave again.” Justin answered honestly. He hated upsetting Stacy again, but he wanted to be honest with her.

“Justin, you need to go to him. He needs you right now.” Stacy pointed out, praying that Justin would get through to him. Knowing Brian the way she did, she believed that Justin was right on target worrying that he would leave. She would bet money on the fact that he was on his way home to pack his things right now.

“Stacy, I don’t want to leave you and Brianna here alone. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Justin assured her, hoping that it wouldn’t be too late by then.

“No. I want you to go now. Brian has a strong sense of loyalty. If he thinks his leaving would be better for us, he will go without looking back. I can’t lose him again, and neither can you. Please go, Justin. I will be just fine here by myself.” Stacy promised, knowing that Brian did indeed need Justin more than she did.

“Alright, as long as you are sure you don’t need me.” Justin said, his mind already on to comforting Brian.

“I do need you, Justin, but Brian needs you more. Now go. Tell Brian that I love him.” Stacy said, holding out her arms for a hug.

Justin took Stacy in his arms. “I will, Stacy. What do you want me to do about everyone in the hall?” Justin asked, not wanting them to upset her after he left.

“Tell them that I fell asleep, and that they can call first the next time they come to visit.” Stacy said, still very upset by the whole scene that unfolded.

“Okay. Try to get some sleep. I’ll be back first thing in the morning. I love you, Stacy.” Justin replied, kissing her gently.

“I love you, too, Justin.” Stacy said softly.

Justin walked over to his daughter, who was still sound asleep in her small crib. “Good night, beautiful. Welcome to the world.” He whispered, patting her gently, then walking into the hallway. He took a deep breath, then addressed the family once again.

“Stacy is sleeping. I am going down to get some coffee and I want you all gone before I get back. I am going to say this one more time, so you all better listen carefully. Brian is a part of our family. If you can’t accept him for who he is, then you won’t be seeing us anymore. My wife has asked that you call before your next visit, and I think that would be for the best. Now if you will excuse me, it’s been a long day and I need to go get that coffee.” Justin said, hoping that they would believe his little white lie. He was afraid that if he said he was leaving, the would stick around, and that was the last thing Stacy needed.

“Justin…” Joan started to speak, only to be silenced by Justin.

“Joan, please don’t say another word. I have heard enough for tonight. Save it for another time.” Justin stated.

“Alright, Justin. We will leave for now, but don’t think I am going to stay away from my daughter and my new granddaughter for long. I will be here tomorrow.” Brook promised.

“That’s fine, Brook, as long as you remember our rules. I will not have any of you upsetting her again. She has been through a lot and she needs her rest.” Justin explained, hoping to get through to the woman, since she obviously didn’t know the situation between Brian and his parents before tonight.

“I know, Justin, and I’m sorry things got so out of hand. I’ll call you in the morning.” Brook assured him, then gathered up her crowd and headed out.

Once they were gone, Justin peeked in on Stacy, happy to find that she had indeed fallen asleep. He walked to the nurses station, telling the nurse that he had to leave due to a family emergency. Once he was assured that they would look in on Stacy often, he made his way out of the hospital and towards Brian.

Brian was beginning to feel the affects of the alcohol, but not enough to block out the scene that kept flashing in his mind. He finished packing his clothes, then sat on the bed, looking around the room that he shared with Justin. His heart was breaking at the thought of leaving the younger man behind, but he didn’t have a choice. He needed to get away before he caused anymore trouble. He was so lost in thought that he never heard Justin come through the door.

“So Stacy was right. You were planning on leaving me.” Justin said with sadness in his voice. A part of him was hoping that Brian loved him enough to stay.

“Justin, don’t say it like that. I don’t want to leave you, but what other choice do I have? Everything was fine until I showed up here.” Brian pointed out, wanting to make the pain in Justin’s face disappear.

“That’s not true, Brian. Everything wasn’t fine before. I was lost. You helped me find out who I was and where I belong. I can’t lose you now. We can find a way to work this out.” Justin hated the emotions that were evident in his voice. He told himself that he was going to be strong, but the site of Brian’s suitcases all ready to go caused a pain in his heart that he never felt before.

“How are we supposed to work this out? Jack and Joan are never going to accept me. It’s been ten years already and they still hate me just as much as they did the day I came out to them. I don’t want to hurt you or Stacy anymore than I already have.” Brian explained, needing to make Justin understand.

“If you don’t want to hurt us, then why are you leaving? Don’t you think that your leaving would hurt us? Why do you think I’m here? Because Stacy couldn’t even think about the possibility of you walking out of her life again. If you walk out that door, you will be breaking both our hearts. Is that what you want?” Justin knew he was being a little harsh, but he needed Brian to see how important he was to them.

“No, of course that’s not what I want.” Brian conceded, trying to control his emotions.

“Do you love me, Brian?” Justin asked, looking directly into Brian’s eyes.

“You know that I do.” Brian admitted, unable to look away.

“Then don’t leave me. Don’t walk away and break my heart.” Justin almost whispered the works, so overcome with emotion.

Brian jumped from the bed and took Justin in his arms, finally breaking down from the events of the evening. “I’m sorry, Justin. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know, Brian. It’s okay.” Justin whispered, while he held Brian, trying to comfort him.

“I guess I always thought that maybe my parents would forgive me for not being who they wanted me to be. As long as I stayed away, I could fool myself into thinking that they regretted what happened, but they don’t regret it. They still hate me and regret the day I was born. On top of that, they want you and Stacy to hate me, too. I don’t want either of you to have to chose between them and me. You shouldn’t have to.” Brian knew he was rambling, and blamed the alcohol for his breakdown, but it felt good to finally let it out. There were very few tears, all them were spent years ago, just a despair he could feel throughout his body.

“You’re right, we shouldn’t have to, but if we do, it will be their fault. Not yours. Nothing they could say or do could make Stacy and I hate you. You are a part of our family, and we love you. Brianna needs her namesake here to help her grow up to be a beautiful and tolerant person. If you leave now, we are the ones that would suffer, and Jack and Joan Kinney would win. You don’t want that, do you?” Justin’s heart went out to the man who had experienced so much pain from the people who were supposed to love him.

“No.” Brian replied weakly.

“Well then, how about we get you unpacked? It’s been a long day and we both could use some sleep.” Justin tried to walk away to help with the unpacking, but Brian held him at arms length, looking into his eyes.

“I love you, Justin Taylor.” Brian told him, expressing all of his feelings in the simple words.

“I love you, too, Brian Kinney.” Justin replied, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

The two men quickly unpacked, then climbed into bed. There wouldn’t be any sex for them that night, just the love and emotional support they both desperately needed. They whispered words of love and encouragement to each other until they feel asleep, together in each others arms.


End of part 1
12/01/03
 

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