6 Weeks

Chapter 8

Justin and Damon finished the shopping in relative silence and finally headed home. Justin’s mind kept replaying the scene between him and Brian and he was still unsure what to do next. As he pulled the car into the driveway, he spotted Hunter standing on the front steps waiting for them and smiled. He glanced over at Damon and saw the confusion on his face and laughed.

“Remember that surprise I was telling you about?”

“But…how…” Damon stammered.

“I’ll tell you later,” Justin assured him, lying a comforting hand on his arm. “Go say hello to your brother.”

Damon nodded his head in acknowledgement and slowly opened his door and climbed out, his eyes never leaving his brother’s face. He’d been waiting for this day for a long time, but a part of him wanted to run away from the confrontation. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle seeing the hurt and disappointment in Hunter’s eyes.

Hunter walked towards Damon, his heart racing at the sight of his brother. It had been so long since they’d seen each other and he’d almost given up on the chance of a reunion. “Damon? I…uh…you look good,” he finally said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah…so do you,” Damon replied nervously.

“Justin told me that you were…getting out today. I was going to give you a little time to settle in but I couldn’t wait. I wanted to see how you were doing and uh…maybe talk, you know? About things,” Hunter stammered self-consciously.

“Yeah, I think that would be a good idea,” Damon agreed softly.

Justin slowly walked over to where the brothers were standing and smiled at them. “Hey Hunter, glad to see you could make it. You must have the same patience level as your brother. Shall we go in?”

The three of them made their way inside and Justin urged them to go up to Damon’s room and talk in private while he brought in the bags. His mother had entered the room and stayed silent until Damon and the other boy were out of sight.

“Justin, who is that?” she finally asked.

“That’s Damon’s little brother. They haven’t seen each other in a long time and were just reunited,” Justin answered.

“Really? And what part of this reunion was your doing?” She prodded with a smile.

“Well, I might have mentioned to Hunter that Damon was in rehab trying to put his life back together and that he wanted to fix things with his brother,” Justin replied shyly.

“You’re a good kid, Justin. I’m so glad you’re back,” Jennifer smiled, hoping that her son understood the double meaning. She was thrilled to have him home again, but even happier knowing that her loving son had returned from the darkness he’d been dwelling in since the bashing.

Justin reached out and hugged his mother tight. “It’s good to be back.”

Justin and Jennifer put away the bags of food, and then sat at the kitchen table, discussing Justin’s plans for the future. Jennifer tried to make a few suggestions, but when she saw the scowl appear on Justin’s face she backed off. He was an adult now, and she was going to have to let him make his own decisions and hope they were the right ones.

Damon sat on the bed across from Hunter with a smile on his face. “I’m so glad you’re not mad at me anymore,” he said softly. He and Hunter had finally cleared the air about their past and who played what role in what had happened.

“I was never mad at you, Damon. I was just hurt and confused. I still can’t believe that bitch did this to us. She never should’ve had fucking kids,” Hunter spat angrily.

“No, she shouldn’t of, but it’s over now. I’m not going to let the past get in the way of our future. Where have you been living?” Damon asked, ready to put the whole sordid mess behind him.

“Actually I’m been staying with these two great guys, Michael and Ben. I met them while I was turning tricks outside their apartment and they took me in. It’s because of them that I finally put that part of my life to rest. It’s also how I met Justin. Michael is a good fried of Brian’s. I take it that you met him while you were in rehab too?”

“Oh yeah, I know Brian,” Damon snarled. “He and I don’t really care for one another.”

“Well, I don’t really know him that well but from what I’ve heard he seems like an asshole. I just hope Justin doesn’t get hurt in the end. He’s been really good to me,” Hunter replied.

“Yeah, same with me,” Damon agreed.

Justin was sitting in the living room watching TV when Damon appeared in the doorway.

“Where’s your brother?” Justin asked when he saw that Damon was alone.

“He’s in the bathroom. Justin, I just want to say thank you for this. Hunter and I talked and worked everything out. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see him again and I owe it all to you,” Damon said, his voice thick with emotion.

“I didn’t do anything, really. I just made sure you were both in the same place at the same time. You guys did the rest,” Justin told him.

“You did more than that. Hunter told me how you encouraged him to give me a chance and I owe you big time. If there’s anything I could ever do to return the favor, all you have to do is ask.”

“I might just have to take you up on that,” Justin laughed, touched by Damon’s gratitude. “Now what do you say we watch some TV. Mom’s making dinner and Hunter’s welcome to stay if he’d like.”

“He’d like,” Hunter said as he entered the room. “What’re we watching?”

The three of them sat around watching TV and waiting for dinner. Neither Damon nor Hunter noticed Justin’s preoccupation as he thought about what he was going to say to Brian when he got to the loft. As soon as dinner was over, he was off to face the music.

Brian was fuming as he drove home to the loft. He couldn’t believe Damon was staying with Justin and the fact it bothered him so much made it all worse. He was on autopilot as he drove, not really seeing anything but the street in front of him. Brian wasn’t even sure what he was doing until he looked up and saw the liquor sign above his head. Not even thinking of the possible consequences, Brian walked into the store and left five minutes later with a large bottle of Jim Beam. It was time for a little pain management.

Brian’s mood hadn’t improved at all by the time he got home. Grabbing a glass, he quickly poured himself at least two shots worth of Jim Bean. He looked closely at the liquid; like it was the first time he had ever seen it. He inhaled the smell of the liquor, remembering the countless times he had consumed it by the bottle. Slowly Brian brought the glass to his lips and held it there. He tried to tilt the glass and force the liquor down his throat but something stopped him. One sip and he could end up going down the same destructive path with no one to stop him.

Frustrated by his lack of options in pain management, Brian threw the glass across the room and watched it shatter. For some reason, that noise made him feel better. So he grabbed another glass, filled it to the rim with Beam, and threw that as well. Then he reached for a stool and tossed it in the direction of the bedroom. He didn’t stop tossing furniture and ripping apart papers until the entire floor was covered in pieces of his life. That’s when the doorbell rang. Brian assumed it was Mikey, and buzzed him in immediately. His best friend could clean up after him. But when he slid the door open, the source of his mood was standing in front of him.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home playing house with Damon?”

“Cut the bullshit Brian and just let me in,” Justin insisted and pushed his way past Brian. Justin gasped as he took in the state of the loft, broken glass everywhere.

“What the hell happened in here? Were you robbed?” Justin asked in shock and that’s when he saw the half full bottle of Jim Beam. Slowly he approached the counter and lifted the bottle, questions all over his face. Brian snatched the bottle back and dropped it haphazardly into the sink.

“It’s not what you think, Twat. I didn’t drink any of it. It’s all over the floor so don’t go calling Chuck and tattling on me. I was a little pissed off and needed to let out a little steam,” Brian explained.

“You wanna tell me what got you this upset?” Justin inquired.

“Not particularly,” Brian responded quietly.

“Could it be you were a little jealous when you saw me with Damon today?”

“No, why would I fucking care about that?” Brian said angrily.

“I don’t know. You tell me,” Justin demanded.

“Everything does not revolve around you, as much as you would like it to. Plus I’m not jealous. I just don’t like the guy. He’s so fucking arrogant and acts like he owns you or something.”

“Brian, he’s my friend but that’s it. There’s nothing going on between us. I swear to you. I’m just trying to help him get his life back on track. You want to know the truth about Hunter and Damon?”

Brian lifted his eyes to look into Justin’s and slowly nodded.

“Fine, the truth is that they’re brothers. Hunter ran away a long time ago but Damon was left behind to deal with even more abuse. Hunter was hurt at first because Damon couldn’t protect him. He had no idea how much attention Damon diverted to himself. I figured out the connection that night at Deb’s and just wanted to bring them back together. They saw each other tonight for the first time in over a year and it was amazing. I’m not a part of a big Damon conspiracy. I wanted to help both of them and that’s it,” Justin said honestly and gently clasped their hands together. Brian couldn’t contain the shock from his face.

“You’re the one I want to be with,” Justin continued, showing all of the love he felt in his eyes. Brian could hear the naked emotion in the words and suddenly the anger was gone, quickly replaced by fear. This conversation has gotten away from him and he wasn’t sure where it was headed now. It seemed to be getting dangerously close to a relationship discussion, which was not ready for.

“Who said I wanted to be with you?” Brian asked harshly. Pushing Justin away was the only thing Brian could think of doing to get him out of his current situation. Justin was thrown by the tone of his voice.

“Come on Brian, can’t we just…”

“No,” Brian interrupted, “we can’t just anything. I want you to leave. I don’t know where you got the impression that this was more than a friendship with some casual fucking thrown in. I don’t do relationships, so I think you should go. Now.”

Justin tried to see the truth in Brian’s eyes but there was a wall between them. He sighed in defeat and stumbled to the door. Without looking back, Justin opened it and softly called out to Brian.

“Fine, you win. Have a nice life.”

And then Justin was gone. Brian slammed the door behind him, certain he had made a big mistake but resolved to live with it.

Justin allowed the tears to fall down his cheeks as he drove home, not bothering to wipe away the evidence of his sadness. He silently entered the house and tiptoed with his head held down into his room. Damon had been on his way to the bathroom when he heard the door open downstairs. He stayed in the shadows until Justin had disappeared into his room. Damon’s heart went out to his friend when he noticed the tear tracks on his cheeks. Obviously Brian Kinney hadn’t gotten any smarter since he got out of Pleasant Valley and it was time Damon did something about that.

When Justin finally rolled out of bed the next morning, it felt as if he hadn’t slept at all, which in reality, he hadn’t. He had managed to drift off somewhere around five only to wake up again at eight. His mind kept replaying the scene at the loft the night before and he couldn’t stop the pain in his chest when he thought about the fear he saw in Brian’s eyes. He realized sometime in the early morning hours that it was fear forcing Brian to push him away, but it didn’t matter. It was enough to put a halt on whatever it was that was building between them and Justin needed to focus more on his future; the one without Brian in it. He made his way downstairs and was surprised to find Hunter there with Damon.

“I thought you left last night?” he asked groggily.

“I did, but I’m back,” Hunter replied with a smile.

“Hunter suggested we go grab some breakfast,” Damon said as he took in the dark circles under Justin’s eyes.

Justin wasn’t the least bit interested in going out for breakfast, but knew that he needed to get out of the house. Sitting around moping about Brian wasn’t good for his recovery. “Alright, just give me twenty minutes to jump in the shower and we’ll go.”

“Cool, but we’ll give you fifteen. I’m starving,” Damon teased.

Justin laughed as he went back upstairs to get ready. Once he was done, they jumped in the car and headed to the diner. Justin was a little nervous about running into Brian there, but decided that he had nothing to worry about. He doubted the man was going to be out that early on his day off. When they finally walked inside, Justin’s eyes scanned the room and he was thankful when he saw there was no trace of the older man. They took a seat in the back and ordered their breakfast from the waitress, happy that it was Deb’s day off. Justin tried to keep up with the conversation while they ate, but his mind kept wandering to Brian and caused him to lose his appetite.

“Justin, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve hardly touched your breakfast and I know how out of character that is for you,” Damon teased, hoping to get Justin out of his funk. Justin was the only one with any food left on his plate.

“I’m sorry I’m such lousy company. I just have other things on my mind,” Justin replied softy. Before he could comment any further, he heard the bell on the door ring and looked up to see Brian and Michael walk in. “Shit!”

Damon turned around and saw what it was that had Justin looking scared. He turned back around quickly and looked at Hunter. “Take Justin and go out to the car. I’ll take care of the bill and meet you outside.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Hunter said as he jumped out of the booth and made his way towards the door, nodding at Michael on his way. Justin followed along, glancing at Brian quickly before walking out without a word.

Damon watched Justin and Hunter go and saw the pain filled look on Brian’s face when he recognized Justin walking past him. He grabbed the check and walked over to the register, paying for their breakfast. He was about to walk out too, when he stopped himself and made his way over to the table that Michael and Brian had taken.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Damon asked with venom when Brian met his glare.

“Excuse me?” Brian asked casually, refusing to show how Justin’s quick departure had affected him.

“I can’t believe that you would push away someone as special as Justin with your I don’t believe in love crap. Man, you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“I don’t recall it being any of your fucking business. Besides, now he’s all yours. That’s what you’ve wanted all along, isn’t it?” Brian replied bitterly.

“Yeah, it was. Until I realized how much he cares about your sorry ass. That kid would do anything for you. It’s rare to find that kind of loyalty and devotion in a guy. You better think about it long and hard before you push him too far and lose him completely, asshole,” Damon saw the shocked look on Brian’s face and smiled smugly at him.

“Just stay the fuck out of it,” Brian barked.

“I’m out,” Damon said and turned to leave. He took a few steps away before turning back one last time. “Oh, I do have one more thing to say to you before I go. Justin’s been attending AA meetings next to the GLC almost every night. They start at seven…in case you’re interested.”

Brian watched Damon walk away, feeling a mixture of emotions he couldn’t explain. He finally looked over at Michael and saw his friend watching him closely. “What the fuck are you looking at?” he spat.

“He’s right you know?” Michael said and laughed at the confusion on Brian’s face. “As much as I hate to admit it, Justin’s good for you. You seem calmer since he’s been around; almost happy.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian replied.

“Look Brian, I know better than most about your ‘I don’t do love and relationships’ bullshit, but maybe it’s time to reevaluate your thinking. Justin is the best thing that ever happened to you and understands you in a way that I can’t even imagine. Where do you think you’d be now if you two never met? He’s different then all the rest and you know it,” Michael said cautiously, hoping he wasn’t pushing too hard.

Brian stared at Michael for a moment, dumbfounded by what he was saying. Was it possible that Michael and Damon were right? Could pushing Justin away be the biggest mistake of his life? But then again, was it possible to change his ways for the blond without risking everything he worked so hard for? “Where the fuck is our waitress? Have you noticed how shitty our service is when you’re mother’s not here?” Brian asked, refusing to discuss Justin with Michael.

Michael sighed as he waved Kiki over, hoping that some of what he’d said got through to Brian before it was too late. Only time would tell.

Brian was hesitant as he entered the nameless brick building that housed numerous nonprofit organizations and charities he had always mocked. He had purposefully avoided going to this AA meeting because there was the greatest chance of him running into someone he knew. Yet, now here he was and not only was he leaving it to chance but hoping to find one person in particular. It had been less than 48 hours since he saw Justin at the diner and realized it was time to make a change. It’s what that change was that kept him up all last night tossing and turning. But he was sick of thinking and rethinking what to do. It was now or never.

Brian’s eyes immediately found Justin’s bright blonde head in the middle of the crowd. People were just starting to take their seats and Justin was nestled in one of the center rows. His head was down, with his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He fought the urge to approach him and instead waited for the meeting to begin. The group leader called everyone to order and the first person raised their hand to speak. Brian hardly heard a word, his mind running overtime trying to come up with what he should do next. Before he knew it, the woman had finished and was returning to her seat. The group leader called for another volunteer and Justin raised his hand. As he started to get up from his seat, Brian knew it was time.

“Wait, I’d like to speak first if that’s okay,” Brian announced.

Justin’s head whipped around to look in Brian’s direction, his eyes wide with surprise. He was too shell shocked to speak and followed Brian’s progress to the front of the room with his eyes. It wasn’t until Brian was standing behind the podium that Justin finally took a seat. He couldn’t believe that Brian was there or that he had chosen now of all times to take his turn and speak. As their eyes met across the audience, Justin waited breathless for Brian to begin.

“My name is Brian and I’m an alcoholic and a drug addict. I just got out of rehab a couple of weeks ago and prior to those six weeks I was your worst nightmare. Hell, I wasn’t much better my first few weeks in there either. I had a friend who was smuggling booze in to me. I figured if I wasn’t touching the hard stuff than I wasn’t doing anything wrong. The alcohol was my crutch, keeping me from fully feeling the pains of withdrawal. It eased the craving but did nothing to cure me of my problem. I was like a gerbil running in circles until I met someone that changed everything.”

Brian looked directly in Justin’s crystal blues eyes and took a deep breath before he continued.

“There was a kid who was admitted just one week after me. I was immediately attracted to him but there was something else there too. He pushed me to really invest in the program and not give up on my dreams. I have a son that I wasn’t allowed to see before I entered rehab. This man made me realize how much I needed that little boy in my life and what I had to do to make it happen. He stood up for me when no one believed I could be a better person. I was almost convinced that it was too late until he showed me how. I’m supposedly the older one but he’s been my teacher more than anyone in my whole fucking life. Do you know how I repaid him for turning my life around?”

Brian looked out into the audience, scanning his eyes across all of the nameless faces and zeroing back in on the only one he wanted. He allowed a small smile to grace his lips. Justin’s heart began to beat faster and he wasn’t sure if he had even breathed the whole time Brian was speaking.

“I practically kicked him out of my life, making our time together sound completely insignificant. But that’s not true. It meant something from the moment our paths crossed at the entrance to Pleasant Valley. I didn’t want to admit it then and I sure as hell wasn’t planning on it now but some things are more important than your pride or your fear. Eight weeks ago I was too scared to go through one day without a shot of something or a hit to numb the pain. Now the only thing that can take away the pain is also the one thing that scares me the most. I’m tired of numbing myself to things that might cause me pain. And I’m so glad that I’m sober now and can see everything so clearly. It’s time to take a step forward and really let go of the past. Unfortunately, only one man can help me do that. So what do you say Justin? I’m not ready to label anything quite yet but I do know ‘over’ is not a possibility. I’m ready to learn something new.”

Brian’s eyes pleaded with Justin to give him a second chance at whatever the hell relationship they were attempting to build. Two days ago, that one word had made him head for the hills but not today. Justin could feel the many eyes closing in on him, although only two really mattered and they hadn’t strayed from his face since he stopped speaking. Justin gulped a few times to calm his nerves and finally nodded his head in Brian’s direction.

“Yeah?” Brian asked in a whisper.

Justin nodded his head more emphatically, allowing a beautiful smile to spread across his lips. Brian responded with his own and eagerly walked off of the stage and down into the audience. Justin eased his way through the crowd, muttering, “Excuse me” and “I’m sorry” on this way to Brian. When the two were finally within reach, Brian grabbed Justin by the waist and lifted him into the aisle. They stood less than six inches apart, hungrily gazing into each other’s eyes. They both knew that whatever happened next, privacy was a necessity.

“Come on Justin, let’s get out of here. You can do all of your sharing with me tonight,” Brian drawled.

One chaste kiss and they both sprinted for the door, oblivious to everyone around them. Neither even noticed the two young men leaning against the back wall watching the show. One reached into his pocket and pulled out a crisp ten-dollar bill.

“You win. So how did you know he was gonna finally get a pair and tell Justin how he felt?”

“Come on Hunter, it was obvious. If given an ultimatum, I had to believe that Brian would step up to the plate and not risk losing someone as incredible as Justin.”

“You’ve got a thing for Justin, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, only that Justin gets everything he deserves. I’ve never had a friend like Justin before and if Brian is what he wants, then he should have him,” Damon said softly.

“Wow, you really have changed, haven’t you?” Hunter asked.

“Rehab does some crazy shit to you, just ask Brian.”

Both boys started to laugh uncontrollably and pushed each other out the door. Damon could catch another meeting tomorrow, but tonight he just needed to spend some quality time with his brother. Healing their relationship was one more step in his recovery.

Justin sat silently alongside of Brian as they drove the short distance to the loft. He still couldn’t believe all that Brian had said as he stood in front of the group. In fact, he had barely blinked since it happened for fear that when he opened his eyes, he would find that it was all a dream. He kept glancing over at Brian, who was silent, but sporting a wicked smile on his face.

When they finally pulled up outside the loft, Brian looked over at Justin and smiled. “Ready to go up?”

“Are you kidding?” Justin laughed as he reached for the door handle and jumped out on to the curb.

They walked into the building, forgoing the elevator for the stairs, and quickly found themselves alone in the loft. Almost everything had been cleaned up since the night Brian had trashed it, but Justin did notice a half empty bottle of beam sitting on the counter. Brian followed Justin’s gaze and decided to answer the unasked question.

“It’s from the other night. I forgot it was there.”

Justin nodded his head in understanding and walked over to the couch, dropping himself down on the end. “I guess we have a few things to talk about.”

“I was kind of hoping you would just let it go for now,” Brian chuckled. “But I guess you’re right.”

Justin smiled as he watched Brian walk slowly over to the couch and sit down, waiting for the man to get settled before asking him the question that had been playing in his head since he heard Brian’s admission at the meeting. “What made you change your mind?”

“I guess I suddenly realized that as much as I hated to admit it, you’ve become an important person in my life. I knew that if I didn’t grow up and admit that you were different I would end up losing you for good. I didn’t like the way that made me feel,” Brian admitted softly.

“Brian, I’m not trying to push you into something you’re not ready for. I just wanted you to admit that there was something between us, something more than just fucking. We can take it slow, one day at a time as they say; I just need to know that I matter to you,” Justin replied.

“You matter,” Brian assured him. “You do realize though that this probably won’t be easy, right? I’m not the easiest person to deal with on occasion. I tend to get a little moody sometimes.”

Justin burst out into a fit of giggles. “That’s the understatement of the year.” When he saw the un-amused look on Brian’s face, he quickly suppressed his laughter. “But it’s okay. Everyone’s entitled to mood swings on occasion. We’re recovering alcoholics, I think we can cut us both a little slack”

“So, are we okay now?” Brian asked softly.

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes and smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

“Good, I was thinking now might be the perfect time for a little make up celebration.”

Brian leaned in and placed his mouth over Justin’s in a sweet kiss, unable to resist touching the blond for another minute. The kiss quickly turned passionate and Brian soon felt Justin’s hand reaching for the buttons on his jeans. He pulled back, struggling to catch his breath.

“Not here. Let’s go to the bedroom,” he whispered huskily.

Justin smiled and stood up, taking Brian’s hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.

“Wait a minute. There’s something I have to do,” Brian said, pulling his hand back and walking towards the kitchen.

Justin saw where he was going and followed him to the counter where the bottle of beam was still sitting. He reached out and took the bottle, opening it up and handing it to Brian. Brian took it and poured the contents down the drain before tossing the empty bottle in the trash and turning towards Justin, taking him by the hand. “Okay, now where were we?”

“I’m proud of you,” Justin said quietly, his smile lighting up the room.

“I’m proud of us,” Brian replied before leading Justin to their destination.

Once they were in the bedroom, Brian began removing Justin’s clothes, kissing each exposed piece of flesh tenderly as he went. He could here Justin’s breathing becoming ragged and smiled to himself over the reaction he was causing. Once Justin was completely undressed, he pushed him gently on the bed and then stood proudly while he stripped off his own clothes.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Justin sighed as he stared at his lover, lust evident in his eyes.

Brian couldn’t reply past the lump in his throat. So many things had changed in his life and he couldn’t help but wonder where it would all lead. He tried to push away his thoughts, but they were screaming in his mind. Justin was happy with him for the moment, but what would happen six months from now if he realized that he was too young to be saddled with someone Brian’s age? Or if he was unable to handle Brian’s inevitable emotional issues that were bound to surface soon?

Justin noticed the uncertainty in Brian’s eyes and knew the older man was letting his doubts get in the way. He had to say something quick to keep Brian from going down that road again. “Brian, it’s okay.”

“But what if…”

“Hey, do you trust me?” Justin asked, interrupting Brian’s words.

“Yes,” Brian replied without a doubt.

“Well, then everything’s going to be okay. Remember, one day at a time. It’ll be just like rehab.”

“It better not be,” Brian said quickly.

“Well some parts weren’t so bad,” Justin replied.

“I agree. Some parts were pretty amazing.”

Justin reached out his hand and Brian took it, allowing his concerns to melt away. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he would find a way to keep his doubts from ruining what he and Justin were building. He had to. Justin was too important to lose and Brian owed it to them both to give their relationship a chance. And a short time later, when he finally entered the younger man beneath him, Brian felt like things were finally falling into place. For once in his life, he was looking forward to his future and it was filled with a beautiful blonde.



One year later…

As Justin stood up at the podium and looked down into the sea of faces he had grown to know so well he couldn’t help but think back on the year that had completely changed his life. He had gone from being alone in the world with only his drugs and alcohol to comfort him to a man surrounded by love. And tonight all the members of his crazy makeshift family were there to celebrate his accomplishment, as they had all done only a week ago for Brian, his partner.

“My name is Justin and I’m an alcoholic. I’m also in recovery from an addiction to prescription drugs. Today I have been sober and drug free for one year and I have so many people to thank for that. This past year has been the hardest and most wonderful year of my life. Fighting the craving was fucking difficult but with the support of my incredible partner, Brian, and our amazing family it was a little easier. Just last week Brian was up here celebrating his one-year and I was in the audience watching him with such pride. I am so thankful to have him here with me now. Although I certainly don’t recommend starting a relationship when you’re in recovery, it was his presence in my life that turned me around.”

Justin gazed deeply into Brian’s eyes, wanting to make sure he understood just how much he was appreciated. Brian smiled back, still amazed by how open Justin was about his feelings. Justin’s eyes skimmed over the rest of the familiar faces.

“Thankfully Brian and I didn’t have to do it alone. We have a support system that was there every step of the way. You see we had a big incentive to change and that was the desire to really be a part of our Liberty Avenue family. And after an initially rocky start, we were both welcomed with open arms. Now I have two mothers,” Justin said with pride as he smiled at his mother and Debbie, “and a slew of brothers, including my roommate Damon who will be up here next week.”

Damon gave Justin a thumb’s up while Hunter patted him firmly on the shoulder. Damon had stuck to his word and supported Justin’s relationship with Brian. He had even talked the blonde into forgiving the asshole on occasion for indulging in typical Brian Kinney behavior. Because of that, Brian had eventually accepted their friendship and had only given them a minimum of bullshit when they had gotten a two bedroom apartment together. The arrangement had worked out well, especially since Justin spent most nights at Brian’s place anyways. And for the ones he didn’t, Brian had gently encouraged Hunter to spend more time with his brother. Justin had pretended not to notice but the three boys had grown so close that his visits were always welcome.

“I can clearly remember the moment I realized I had a problem and that was seeing the look of pain on my little sister’s face when I broke her arm. I didn’t admit it then but I knew. She forgave me and eventually I forgave myself but it took a lot of work. Things will never be easy for me, for any of us but it’s made me the man I am today and I will never regret that. Thanks for listening and I want chocolate cake next year,” Justin said with a laugh and stepped off the stage.

He made an immediate beeline for Brian and fell into his strong comforting embrace. Brian held Justin close, inhaling the fresh scent of shampoo. He had given the boy a congratulatory blowjob in the shower right before they left for the meeting. He tried to push away the memory and calm the erection already starting to form in his pants. Justin giggled as he felt the hard press against his stomach.

“Somebody’s ready to go home,” Justin leered.

“Damn right I am but you’ve got a cake to cut first and plenty of well wishers to annoy the hell out of you. So get a move on,” Brian suggested with a slap to Justin’s ass. Justin exchanged one more backward glance with Brian, before getting swallowed into his circle of family and friends. His mother was the first to pull him into an embrace, followed quickly by Molly, Debbie, Lindsay, Mel, Emmett, Ted, Damon, Daphne, Hunter, and Ben. Brian stood back and watched the proceedings, content with the scene in front of him.

“Well, I never thought I’d see the day,” Michael whispered in his ear.

“I always knew he could do it,” Brian answered with pride in his voice.

“That’s not what I mean. There was no way Justin was going to let the addiction beat him. Just like you. What I meant is you, standing here and being the supportive partner,” Michael explained.

“But that’s what I am. I guess there’s really no other way to describe it.”

“I know that but I never thought you would. Hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you used some made up term to describe your relationship with Justin. I’m proud of you. You’ve both come a long way, as individuals and as a couple.”

“Well, the decision was like quitting all the drugs, you just have to decide what’s the most important thing to you. I chose living when I was in Pleasant Valley and I chose living again when I went after Justin. He’s worth making a few changes.”

“A few?” Michael said chuckling. Brian joined him.

“Maybe more than a few.”

“So what happens next?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see. We’re full of surprises. Now if you’ll excuse me I want to be there when he blows out the candle.”

Brian arrived at the table just in time to see Justin take a deep breathe and blow. The whole room erupted in applause, Brian clapping the loudest. Afterwards, the boys wanted to head out to Babylon and celebrate. It had taken a lot of time but eventually Brian and Justin had returned to the club scene. Sometimes it got to be too much and they would go home early, but usually all they wanted to do was dance. Tonight they wanted to be alone.
After all the good-byes, Justin and Brian walked out to the corvette together. Brian was unusually quiet and Justin couldn’t figure where the mood had come from. Just before reaching the car, Justin tugged on Brian sleeve until he stopped.

“What’s up? Is there something wrong?” Justin asked.

Brian paused for a moment.

“Did you mean it?” he asked hesitantly.

“Did I mean what?” Justin asked confused.

“When you were talking about the loft and called it home.”

“Yeah, I guess. It is your home. Or are you thinking about moving?”

Brian shook his head.

“No, nothing like that. The loft is my home but I want it to be yours too, “ Brian stated.

“You want me to move in with you?” Justin asked in surprise.

“Don’t you think it’s been long enough?”

Justin was absolutely beaming as he threw himself into Brian’s arms. Their relationship had been steadily progressing at a snail’s pace and that had been fine with both of them. Neither wanted to fuck it up but they were both different people now and capable of making a live in relationship work. Brian was certain of it.

“Is that a yes?” Brian asked, as he gently pulled Justin back so he could see his eyes.

“Of course that’s yes. When do I move in?”

“Tomorrow, Damon’s picking up the U-haul in the morning,” Brian informed him.

“Aren’t we sure of ourselves?” Justin questioned with a laugh.

“A year ago you asked me to choose you and I did. I figured it’s only right if you return the favor,” Brian said softly.

“I’ll always choose you,” Justin said honestly and embraced Brian once more.

A year ago Justin had hit rock bottom and thanks to Pleasant Valley his life had changed. Now a new year was starting and Justin had a feeling there would be many more changes to look forward to, especially with Brian by his side.


The End
04/23/05

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