Breathless

Chapter Nine

ONE MONTH LATER

It was Saturday afternoon and Justin was at the diner. He had enjoyed working there, so he had kept doing it even after his suspension at the school was over. He was always getting great tips because of his 'sunshine' smile and his bubble butt. Plus, the gang was always in and out and that was *always* fun.

Justin was walking toward the table that was holding Emmett, Ted, and Daphne. She had arrived a few minutes ago to visit with Justin until his shift was over, which was an hour away. He started feeling queasy and rubbed his flat stomach. For a month he had been feeling off. He didn't know what it was but he could tell that something with his body was... off.

"Hey, sweetie!" greeted Emmett when Justin had reached them.

Justin managed a small smile as he returned the greeting. "Do you guys know--," started Justin. That was as far as he got before his stomach rolled and he rushed to the men's restroom.

"What's going on?" wondered Ted. Emmett and Daphne shook their heads and shrugged.

"He's been feeling a little bad but we just figured that it was a cold or something," replied Daphne.

Just then Justin walked back over to them, looking pale and clammy. "You okay?" asked Emmett.

Justin nodded before grabbing onto the edge of the table as dizziness hit him. A minute later it was gone.

Daphne stood up and said, "That's it, Jus. You're going to the hospital to find out what's wrong."

"But I can't! I'm working," protested Justin. Daphne caught Debbie's eye and motioned her over.

When the redhead arrived, she took one look at Justin and said, "Get out of here."

"What?" asked Justin.

"You look like shit Sunshine. Go on!"

"Come on, Justin. No excuses. You're going to get checked out," said Daphne.

"Let me know the *minute* you find anything out," demanded Debbie. Justin and Daphne promised they would.

As they were walking to the bus stop, they ran into Brian. He looked at Justin and asked, "Still feeling bad?"

"That obvious, huh?"

Brian smirked. "Just a little."

"We're going to take the bus to Allegheny General so he can get checked out," supplied Daphne.

"No. Both of you get into the jeep. I'll take you."

"You don't have to, Brian. I know you're probably busy," said Justin.

Brian gave Justin a look that Daphne couldn't quite figure out. "Get in, Sunshine. I have no classes today and I don't intern at the office until Monday." Justin relented and got into the passenger seat while Daphne got into the back.

TWO HOURS LATER

"*Finally*!" Brian groused as Justin was called into triage. He couldn't stand waiting around a hospital. An hour later Justin was waiting to find out what was going on. He had been checked over, had given the doctor his symptoms, and had had blood drawn. That was the part he hated most. He had to get his head facing the other way while the lab technician had taken five vials of his blood.

Now, he was just waiting for the doctor to reappear and tell him what he had. He figured that it was just a cold or the flu. Some antibiotics and he'd be fine.

"Mr. Taylor," started Dr. Miller, "I have your results." Justin, Daphne and Brian all focused on the doctor.

After a short pause, the doctor continued. "Mr. Taylor, you're pregnant." Justin's eyebrows shot up. Well, *that* hadn't been what he had been expecting the doctor to say!

"Fuck!" whispered Brian. Justin looked into the shocked faces of Brian and Daphne. The doctor's words completely soaked into Justin's brain and he slumped over, only to be caught in Brian's strong embrace.

Dr. Miller hurried over and helped Brian get Justin flat on his back on the bed. After checking to make sure that Justin's pulse, heart rate, and breathing were all right, he turned to face Brian and Daphne." Don't worry, he's fine. Just fainted is all. I'll go and get some smelling salts."

When the doctor was gone, Daphne spoke. "I can't believe it. I didn't even *know* men could *get* pregnant!"

Brian nodded. He hadn't known either. He stayed quiet, thinking. What were they going to do? They'd have to tell everyone now. Would he be a good father? Was he *ready* to be a father?

Brian was pulled out of his thoughts by the doctor returning. Dr. Miller walked straight to Justin and held the smelling salts under his nose, waving them back and forth slightly.

A minute later, Justin's eyes popped open and he sat straight up. The first words out of his mouth were, "I'm *pregnant*?!"

Dr. Miller offered the young blond a smile and a nod. "Yes, you are."

"How is that even possible?" asked Justin.

"We were just wondering the same thing," said Brian as he motioned between him and Daphne. "We didn't even know that men could have babies."

The doctor nodded. "Ninety-five percent of the population don't know. It's very rare but it *does* happen. Its just not publicized. Most of the time the men go into hiding for the nine months, telling their family whatever they need to. This only happens to gay men, as you need sperm to fertilize the egg."

"What causes it to happen?" asked Daphne.

"Well, certain males are born with both sperm and eggs. As of right now, nobody knows why." Dr. Miller paused for a moment. "On the outskirts of Nevada, there's a home for men in your position, Justin. The place is kept quiet and not advertised. Pregnant men go there when they start to show and stay until they have the babies. Then, they either give them up for adoption or keep them. I can give you all of the information if you'd be interested."

Before Justin could speak, Brian answered for him. "No! He wouldn't be interested, Doctor."

Justin looked at Brian with his sunshine smile and all Brian could think about was what he had gotten himself into. He managed to give Justin a slight smile in return.

Dr. Miller nodded. All right. I'll get you some pamphlets, Justin, and be right back."

After he had left, Daphne decided it was time that she spoke up. "All right, what the hell's going on?" she demanded. She continued, "I've been seeing looks pass between you two and I want to know what's up."

Justin and Brian looked at each other, having a conversation without words. Brian gave a slight nod and they both faced Daphne.

"The baby's mine," said Brian.

For a minute, all Daphne could do was gape at the two men. Then she asked, "Are you two together or was it just a one-time fuck?"

"We're together, Daph. Have been for a little over a month. We decided to keep it a secret until we figured out how to tell everyone. I hope you understand."

Daphne nodded with a smile. "I understand. And, just so you know, I've thought for a while that you two would make a good-lookin' couple. And I was right."

Justin and Brian were chuckling as the doctor walked in. He handed Justin some papers and pamphlets, along with a DVD. "These will explain everything. And, I highly recommend that you watch the DVD. It will explain everything that you will be going through for the next nine months.

"Male pregnancy is more difficult than that of a woman. But the baby can be born healthy as long as you take care of yourself. Eat plenty of nutritional food, get plenty of fluids and no stress. Understand?"

At Justin's nod, the doctor continued. "Here's a prescription for pre-natal vitamins. Get that filled and be sure to take them as instructed. And, here's an OBGYN that I recommend. She doctors pregnant men as well as women. Get an appointment with her as soon as you can." A few minutes later, Justin had signed the discharge papers and was ready to leave.

"Thank you, Doctor," Justin said before he, Brian and Daphne left.

A WEEK LATER

Justin and Brian were sitting in the jeep, at their place. The wind was slightly blowing and the sun was starting to go down. Turning in his seat to face Brian, Justin spoke. "When are we going to tell the others, Bri?"

It had been a week and the only people that knew that Justin was pregnant were Daphne and Brian, as well as himself. He wanted to share the news with their whole 'family', especially his mother. But Brian seemed adamant about not being ready.

Brian sighed, not looking at Justin. "Soon, Justin. I just don't think the time's right."

"You *never* think the time's right!" Justin exclaimed.

"That's because it never is," Brian replied.

Shaking his head in slight frustration, Justin decided to change the subject. "You are still going with me in the morning, right?" At Brian's confused look, Justin sighed and elaborated. "To the OBGYN."

Brian was still staring straight ahead, refusing to look at Justin. At Brian's silence, Justin asked, "Brian, why won't you look at me? Did I do something?"

Brian could hear the fear and the sadness in Justin's voice, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. All he seemed to be able to think about was Justin being pregnant. He knew deep down that he loved Justin, but he didn't know if he was ready for a baby. He hadn't even graduated college, yet!

Ignoring Justin's question, Brian started the jeep. "I think I'd better get you home." The whole ride to Justin's was made in silence. When they arrived, Brian parked at the curb. Looking at Justin for the first time in a while, he said, "Goodnight."

Justin sat there, waiting for his goodnight kiss. After a few minutes of waiting, Justin started feeling like a fool. Getting out, he shut the door. As soon as the passenger door was closed, Brian drove off. Justin couldn't believe it! His fear and sadness turned to anger. Trying to shake off the anger for the sake of the baby, he walked into the house and up to his room. He was glad that his mother was still at work. She never would've left him alone if she knew what his problem was.
 

THE NEXT MORNING

By nine Justin was showered, fed and dressed. Deciding to see if Brian was going with him, he called Brian's cell phone.

Brian answered on the second ring, sounding out of breath. "What?"

"Did I catch you at a bad time?"

Brian was silent for a moment. "Uh, no. Just getting ready for class."

"Oh. Well, um, my appointment's in an hour. Are you going to pick me up and go with me?"

"Not this time."

"But it's my first time going. This is our baby--," Justin started.

Brian interrupted. "I * said* not this time. I have to be at class in thirty minutes, then to Ryder."

Justin could hear Brian whisper, "Stop!"

Before Justin could say anything, Brian spoke. "Look, Justin, I have to go. I'll talk to you later." And, with that, Justin was greeted with a dial tone.

Justin could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He'd go to the OBGYN by himself. Placing his hands over the small bump, he started talking to his stomach. "It's alright, little one. Looks like it's going to be just you and daddy."

Grabbing his wallet, he walked outside and headed to the bus stop. Making it just in time, he caught the bus.

An hour later Justin had finished filling out the New Patient forms and was waiting to be called back. He looked around at all of the pregnant women, some of them with their partners some of them not. Justin took a deep breath, wishing that Brian had wanted to be with him. His sadness was quickly turning to anger.

He *knew* that Brian had been with someone else. He had thought that what they had was special. That they were only with each other. Now, Justin couldn't help but feel like a fool.

"Justin Taylor!" a nurse called.

Justin stood up and followed the nurse to the back and into exam room 3. After getting his temperature, blood pressure and pulse, the nursestarted to the door. "The doctor will be with you shortly," she said before walking out.

The door closed and Justin felt so alone. Shaking his head he mentally scolded himself. 'Quit acting so pathetic, Justin!'

A few minutes later, the door opened and a pretty slim Asian woman walked into the room. "Justin Taylor? I'm Doctor Hollen. How are you today?"

"Alright, I guess."

Over the next half an hour, the doctor did a full examination of Justin. When she was through, she said, "From what I can tell right now, there are no problems with your baby. You need to be careful. though. Men have a harder pregnancy than women. Have you been taking the prenatal vitamins that the hospital prescribed for you?"

Justin nodded. "Every day."

"Good," said Doctor Hollen. "Now, I see on your paperwork that you have no insurance. You asked to be billed."

"Will that be a problem?" Justin asked.

"No, no, not at all. I must warn you, though, this is going to get expensive. I'll need to see you every two months. If you have anyone to help you, don't be too proud to ask. Is the.... father in the picture?"

Justin sighed and stayed silent for a moment. "Yes."

Doctor Hollen could sense something was going on but decided not to push. "Okay. Well, if you notice any abnormal pain or bleeding, get to the hospital immediately."

"Thanks, Doctor."

Justin was sitting home, later that afternoon, watching the minutes tick by on the clock. He knew that Brian would be out of class in just a few minutes. Making a decision, he walked out of the front door, making sure to lock it behind him.

Forty-five minutes later Justin was walking up the steps that led to the garage apartment, at Debbie's, that Brian was using.

Taking a deep breath and trying to keep his hand steady, he knocked. A couple of minutes later, the door was opened by a tall dark-haired man. The man only had on a pair of pants.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Is.... Brian.... here?" Justin asked, complementing himself that his voice was remaining steady.

"He's in the shower. Can I take a message?"

Justin frantically shook his head. "No, no. That's okay." With that said, Justin turned around and fled down the steps.

A few minutes later, Brian stepped out of the shower to be greeted by a naked man. Brian was half hard when the man spoke.

"A blond guy stopped by a few minutes ago. Wanted to see you. Seemed a little freaked out when he saw me."

Brian's erection quickly deflated. He knew that it could've only been Justin. "Fuck!" he whispered.

Justin was in a daze as he rode the bus home. 'How could he?' he asked himself. Wasn't he enough for Brian? Was Brian mad at him? Did he not want him anymore? Did he not want the baby? Justin subtly put his hands on his abdomen with that last thought.

He came out of his thoughts long enough to get off at his stop and walk into the house. Walking up the stairs to his room, he shut the door and sat down on his bed. He put his hands over his face as he cried. What was he going to do? He had been so sure that Brian loved him.

Was it his fault? Had getting pregnant made Brian mad? He hadn't done it on purpose. Hearing the front door shut, he knew that Molly was home. Making his decision, he walked out of his room and down the stairs. He didn't care what Brian wanted. He was telling his mother *everything*.

Seeing her in the kitchen, sitting at the table, he sat down in the chair next to her. Taking a deep breath, Justin spoke. "Mom, we need to talk. I have something to tell you."

Seeing the anxious look on her son's face, Molly grew concerned. "What is it?"

"Mom.... I'm pregnant."

To say Molly was shocked would have been the understatement of the year. "What?"

"I'm pregnant. I had my first appointment with the OBGYN today. I just found out a few days ago." When the silence stretched, Justin grew scared. "Say something," he pleaded.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was scared. Plus, the father wasn't ready to tell anyone that we were even together. Have been for three months."

"Who's the father?" Molly asked softly.

Taking a deep breath, Justin answered. "Brian."

Molly didn't look surprised. "I figured. We've all wondered when you two would get together. You could have told us."

"Brian was worried about how everyone would take it. If you would accept it."

"We just want you two to be happy."

Seeing the sad look that crossed Justin's face, Molly spoke. "There's more, isn't there?"

Justin couldn't help it. He broke down in tears and grabbed Molly in a hug. "He... c-cheated on me!"

"Are you sure?"

Justin nodded. "I went by earlier to tell him how the appointment went and the guy was there. Brian didn't even want to go with me this morning. And, I think that I heard him with someone last night when I asked him to go with me.  Why, Mom? I thought we were happy! I don't know if I can raise this
baby by myself! What about the money? What should I do?"

Molly wiped Justin's tears and said, "It's alright. We'll handle the doctor bills through my insurance through work. If you want to keep this baby, you will. If not, we'll decide what to do."

"I don't want an abortion. I want this baby, I do! But, what about Brian?"

"You need to talk to him. If he truly loves you and you truly love him, it'll work out."

"I don't know if I *can* talk to him. He's been cheating on me for.... I don't know how long!"

"Sweetie, I know it's hard. And, I'm pissed at Brian for putting you through this. If you don't want to talk to him right now, don't. You'll know when the time is right."

Justin sniffled and wiped his eyes. "You're right. You didn't seem surprised that a man can get pregnant."

Molly smiled. "I'm not. There was a boy when I was in college that got pregnant."

Before anything else could be said, there was a knock on the door. Molly walked into the living room and yelled, "Who is it?"

"Brian," was the reply.

"Do you want to see him, sweetie?" Molly asked Justin.

Justin sighed. Nodding his head, he whispered, "Yeah."

Molly nodded and opened the door. "Brian," she said with a frown.

Right away Brian knew that Molly knew what had been going on. And she wasn't the least bit happy. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, Justin."

Justin nodded as she walked away. Turning he looked at Brian, just silently staring at him. Brian sighed, seeing all of the pain in Justin's eyes. He could also see the tear tracks on his face.

"You weren't supposed to know," were the first words out of Brian's mouth.

Justin raised his eyebrows. "So, that makes a difference?"

"Look, can I come in?"

Justin shook his head. "No."

"Sunshine, I'm sorry. I am. I love you, you know that."

"I thought I did. How long have you been cheating on me? I thought it was just the two of us." Then a thought entered Justin's head. "Do I need to get tested?"

"No, no, of course not. You're the only one that I do it raw with. As for the other men.... they're just tricks. It started happening about a week ago. I used to trick before you, then I stopped. But I started back."

"So, you started at about the time that we found out that I was pregnant."

Brian nodded, blowing out a breath. "I don't know why. I just don't know if I'm ready to be a father. Hell, I'm not even out of college yet!"

"You think I'm not scared? I'm *terrified* but I want this baby. I will not have an abortion and I can't even imagine giving it up for adoption." Justin paused. "Do you love me?"

"Baby, you know I do," Brian answered with sincerity.

Justin bit his bottom lip. "I love you, too, Brian. With all of my heart and soul. But you need to figure out if you love me and this baby enough to be here for us. It hurt when you said you couldn't go to the OBGYN with me this morning. But it nearly *killed* me to find another man in your apartment.

"If you're not ready to be a father... I'll raise this baby on my own. Just think about it and make your decision. Because I'm not going to always feel used and second best. That's what I felt when I realized that you've been cheating. You can call them tricks or anything you want. You can say that they don't mean a thing. But they mean something to me. They mean that I'm not enough."

Justin was crying, again, and Brian could feel the tears welling up in his own eyes. "Justin, Sunshine, I love you. You *are* enough for me."

Before he could say anymore, Justin spoke. "I don't want to loose you, Brian. But I want you to be sure before we go any further with this relationship. Before I'm so in love with you that it would literally kill me to lose you. I'm almost there." With that being said, Justin quietly shut the door, leaving a Brian riddled with guilt and sadness on the porch.
 

THREE DAYS LATER

It had been three days since Brian and Justin had talked and it was killing Justin. He felt like crying all of the time. He and Daphne were sitting in her bedroom, talking.

"Are you okay, Justin?"

Justin nodded, "I'm fine." He sighed. "I just miss Brian so much. We haven't talked for three days and I--" He stopped talking as his tears caused him to choke up.

Daphne put an arm around his shoulders, comforting him. "I'm sorry, Jus. He'll make the right decision, though. I know that he loves you so much."

"I thought so, t-too. Now.... now I'm not so s-sure."

Trying to change the subject, Daphne asked, "You and Molly going to the 'family' dinner at Deb's tonight?"

Justin nodded, "Yeah. I guess."

"Soooo.... have you thought of any names?"

Justin gave a slight smile. Anytime he thought or talked about his unborn child, he smiled. "I like Elizabeth for a girl and Brad or Brandon for a boy. I guess I'll see what.... Brian thinks." Justin stifled a sob and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry for being so weepy, Daph."

She chuckled. "It's okay. It's all those hormones, I suppose. Are you going to continue at school when you start to completely show?"

Justin shrugged. "Haven't decided, yet. I'll cross that bridge when I get there."

Daphne looked at her best friend's still almost-flat stomach. "It's amazing that you haven't started showing, yet. Just a teeny-tiny bump."

Justin laughed, "I know! Mom said that when she was pregnant with me, she started showing in three weeks."

Daphne laughed and watched as Justin rubbed his stomach. Justin looked at his watch and said, "I'd better get home. We have to be at Debbie's in an hour."

Justin stood up and walked to Daphne's bedroom door. Before opening, he paused. "Will you come with me? For moral support. This will be the first time in three days that I've seen Brian."

Daphne nodded. "Sure. Just let me tell my parents." Fifteen minutes later, they were on their way back to Justin's.

Justin and Daphne were laughing and talking about one of their favorite bands Linkin Park when Justin opened the front door for them to walk into the house.

When they walked inside, they saw Molly sitting on the couch. A tall, blond-haired man was sitting in an armchair, across from Molly. They both looked up and quit talking when they saw Daphne and Justin.

"Hey, Mom," said Justin. After a slight pause, he asked, "Who's this?"

They both stood up and Molly spoke. "Justin... this is your father."

"My *what*?" asked a surprised Justin.

"Justin, this is your father, Brad. Brad, this is your son Justin and his friend Daphne," said Molly.

Justin and Daphne looked at each other, then looked back at Molly and Brad. It was an awkward silent moment.

Justin sighed and said, "We need to be heading to Debbie's in a few minutes."

Molly nodded. "I know. Would you like to go, Brad?"

Brad looked at Justin. "Would you mind, Justin?"

Justin shrugged. "Did Mom tell you that I'm pregnant and gay?"

Brad nodded. He looked a little uncomfortable. "Yes. Yes, she did."

After a moment, Molly asked, "Everyone ready to go?" It was a silent group that walked out of the house.

DEBBIE'S HOUSE

Debbie answered the door after Molly rang the doorbell. "You all are late," she gently scolded.

"We know, Debbie. We brought a couple of extra guests. Daphne and.... Brad, Justin's father."

Debbie's eyes widened and her mouth formed an 'o'. "Well, c'mon in! Supper's already on the table."

When they walked into the dining room, they saw everyone else already sitting at the table. Justin and Brian locked eyes and it was Justin that looked away first.

Debbie introduced Brad and everyone had the same reaction that she had had. They all quickly recovered from their shock and welcomed Brad.

Molly, Brad and Daphne sat down. The only empty seat was one beside Brian. Justin sat down, half happy, half regretfully. He didn't know what Brian had decided and that scared him.

Brian stood up and said, "I would like to say something before we start eating." After a short pause and a deep breath, he continued. "For the past few months, Justin and I have been... seeing each other. And we found out that he's... pregnant."

There were gasps all around the table. "*Pregnant?!*" screeched Lindsay.

After a few minutes, Molly let out a shrill whistle that quieted everyone.

"Did you know about this, Molly?" asked Vic.

Molly nodded. "I found out a few days ago."

"Why are we just *now* finding out?" demanded Debbie.

"That would be my fault. I didn't know how all of you would take Justin and I being together. Then he got pregnant and I... got scared. I did something stupid and we broke up. He asked me to make a decision and I have."

Brian knelt down beside Justin's chair and took his hands into his own. "Justin, I want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'll always live with that regret. I acted stupid because I was scared of becoming a father. But I've made my decision.

"I want you and I want our baby. I want us to raise him or her together. Will you forgive me and become my life partner?"

Everyone had smiles and tears on their faces. Justin had tears running down his. Smiling his sunshine smile, he tightly hugged Brian. "I forgive you, Brian," he whispered into Brian's ear. Louder, he said, "Yes. Yes, I'll be your life partner."

Brian smiled and pulled out a ring box. He opened it and inside was a gold band. "This is a promise ring, Sunshine. A promise ring that we *will* be married and live together forever." He slipped the band onto Justin's left ring finger.

Justin and Brian smiled and stared lovingly into each other's eyes. Their moment was broken by a male voice. "*Disgusting*!"

Everyone's head jerked to look at the speaker. At Justin's biological father. "This is disgusting! It's wrong!" Brad continued. He was standing up, his hands balled into fists. He seemed to be shaking with anger and disgust.

Brad looked at Molly and sneered. "I *never* should have left. I should have taken Justin from you and raised him myself. But I didn't. And, now look at him! He's a disgusting fag. And pregnant at that! I never should have taken that money that your parents offered me."

By now Molly was standing up. "Money? What money?" she demanded.

"They offered me fifty thousand dollars to sign away my parental rights and to disappear."

Molly couldn't believe what she was hearing. "How could you do that? They took Justin away from me and I just got him back a few years ago. Things could have been different if you had been a man and stayed!"

Everyone at the table was following Molly and Brad's fight. They felt like they were at a tennis match. Brian could see that Justin had tears rolling down his face and he was looking stressed. 'That can't be good for the baby,' Brian thought.

"Justin," he said quietly, "come on. You don't need to be here. It's not good for you or the baby."

"Brian's right, sweetie," spoke up Melanie.

Brian led Justin upstairs to Michael's old room, Daphne following. Brian made sure that Justin was comfortable on the bed. "Why?" Justin whispered.

"Why what, Sunshine?" asked Brian.

"Why doesn't Brad like me? What is it about me that makes people not love me? First my grandparents, Brent and now Brad,"

Brian's heart broke at the pain in Justin's voice. "It's not you, Justin. It's them. They're all ignorant, pathetic, assholes. But I love you. Daphne loves you. There's a lot of people downstairs that love you. You hear me."

Justin silently nodded his head. He heard what Brian was saying but it didn't make him hurt any less. But he had to try and stay calm for the sake of the baby.

Brian gave Justin a soft kiss and said, "I'll be back in a little bit." Turning to the young woman, Brian said, "Stay with him, Daphne." She nodded and he left the room.

DOWNSTAIRS

Molly and Brad were still fighting. "Brad, get the hell out! If I'd known that you were like this, I *never* would've let you meet Justin," yelled Molly.

"I'm not leaving. Not yet."

"Get out. This is my house and you will do as I say," said Debbie.

Brian walked into the kitchen and walked up behind Brad. He grabbed Brad's shoulder and forced him to turn around. "I believe the ladies told you to leave."

Brad sneered at Brian. "Why would I listen to you. You're just a sissy little faggot." Brad raised his fist and swung at Brian.

Brian grabbed Brad's fist in mid-swing and bent the man's wrist back until Brad was on his knees, his face scrunched up in pain. "Listen to me. Very carefully."

The others at the table all had to admit that they were a little afraid of Brian at this time. They had never heard his voice so deadly quiet. It was scarier than when he yelled.

When Brian was sure that he had Brad's attention, he continued talking. "Justin is a sweet, talented, beautiful young man. It's your loss that you don't seem to want to know him. Yes, he's gay. Yes, he's pregnant. But you are nothing but a homophobic, ignorant, piece of shit. I will *not* have you upsetting Justin anymore than you already have.

"You might think that I'm a sissy, but I'm one fag that you don't want pissed at you. If you even so much as pass Justin on the street and look at him the wrong way, you *will* regret it. Do I make myself clear?"

When Brad didn't answer, Brian bent his wrist a little further back. Brad frantically shook his head. "Yes! Yes, I understand!"

Brian gave him a frightening little smile and let him up. "Good. Now, do as Molly and Debbie told you and get the fuck out." Brad was gone within a few moments.

"I can't believe him!" fumed Molly.

Nobody really knew what to say, so they just stayed silent. Brian excused himself and walked back upstairs to where Justin was. "Daphne, can you leave us alone?"

Daphne nodded, spared one last glance at her best friend, and left the room. Brian closed the door and locked it, so he and Justin wouldn't be disturbed. Justin was laying on his back, his head held up by two pillows. Brian walked over to him and looked into the open, sad, blue eyes. He sat down beside Justin and took hold of his hand. "Are you okay, Justin?"

Justin sighed and looked at Brian. Shrugging, he said, "I don't know." After a slight pause, he continued. "I'm trying to stay calm for the sake of our baby. But I'm still hurt and angry. I have to wonder what it is about me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, my grandparents didn't like who I was. Granted, Jennifer never beat me, but she didn't stop Craig. Brad, my own father, didn't even want me. Brent only wanted one thing from me and was willing to hurt me to get it. Then, you--"

"I thought you had forgiven me," Brian interrupted with concern.

Justin sat up, so he was facing Brian. "I have. To an extent. You have no idea how much it hurt to find that other guy at your apartment. Especially when you refused to go to the OBGYN with me that very day. I was humiliated, devastated, angry. I thought that you had chosen some nameless trick over me and our baby. But I did mean what I said downstairs. I do love and I do forgive you. But it's going to take a while, on my part, for me to trust you as I once did. And, I still want to marry you. But not right away."

Brian's heart was breaking because of the way that he had hurt the only man that he ever and would ever love. But he understood what Justin was saying. "I understand, Justin. You need time to trust me completely, again. And you will. I'll make sure that you never have reason to doubt me. I love you, Justin. Only you." Brian placed a sweet kiss on Justin's rosy lips. When he pulled back, he continued, "As for your grandparents, Brent and Brad... well... they're idiots. It's not you, baby. You are the most beautiful, smartest, best-looking man I've ever met. If they can't see that, it's on them. They'll regret it, one day, baby. Believe me."

Justin sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes. "My heart knows that. My head's another matter."

Brian wrapped Justin in a hug, rubbing Justin's stomach bump with one hand. "I love you, Sunshine. And our baby will be loved. By us and by the people downstairs."

Justin smiled. "I know. I love you, too, Bri
 

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