Breathless

Chapter Seven

6 YEARS LATER

Justin sat at his desk in his bedroom, thinking about the past six years. He and Molly moved out of Lindsay's and Melanie's five years ago... of course they only moved two blocks away... but the apartment was nice.

He still couldn't bring himself to call Molly Mom, but she always assured him that it was alright and she didn't blame him. He was now seventeen and a senior in high school and things were going okay for him. Daphne was his best friend and Debbie had given him a job as a waiter at the Liberty Diner.

His musings were interrupted as Molly knocked on his door, opening it at the same time. "You about ready, Justin? Brent's here."

Justin nodded as he stood up. "Okay. Tell him I'll be there in a minute," he told Molly. She nodded and walked away.

The whole 'family' was going to go to Debbie's house for a Birthday dinner in honor of Justin. His birthday had been the day before. It was also going to be the fist time that they were all going to be meeting his boyfriend Brent Milwood.

Brent and he had been dating for three weeks and none of the 'family', other than Molly, had met him. A thought of Brian and Brent meeting popped into Justin's mind.

Justin sighed as he thought of Brian. He had admitted to himself when he was fifteen that he was officially in love with Brian, but he had never told Brian. Brian was twenty-one and Justin was afraid that Brian would laugh at him and it would ruin their great friendship. So, when Brent had asked him out, he hadn't hesitated. 'I need to get over Brian. He'll never want me the way I want him to,' Justin thought as he made his way down the stairs.

When Brent saw Justin, he gave him a big smile. Justin knew that Brent was handsome with his black hair, green eyes, and his great body. Brent was six feet tall with no extra fat, and muscles in all the right places. "Ready?" asked Brent.

Justin nodded. Brent and he were going to go to Debbie's together while Molly drove her own car.

As Brent backed out of the driveway, Justin had a feeling the something was going to happen... he just didn't know what. And he didn't know if it was going to be good or bad.

 * * *

DEBBIE'S HOUSE

Justin and Brent walked inside holding hands. They were the last to arrive. Even Molly had made it there before them.

"What took you two so long? You left before me," she said.

"Sorry. We were driving around and talking. We lost track of time," answered Justin.

"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?" teased Emmett.

Justin's face turned crimson and he snapped, "It's the truth!"

"I was just kidding, Justin," said Emmett.

Justin sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, Em."

"It's alright, sweetie."

Trying to change the subject, Daphne asked, "So... how is the Birthday Boy?"

Justin smiled and shrugged. "Can't really complain." After a second, Justin lightly slapped his forehead and blushed. "I'm sorry, ya'all...this is Brent. My boyfriend. Brent this is my 'family'. You already know Molly and Daphne." Pointing to the others, he continued, "That's Debbie, her bother Vic, Melanie, Lindsay, Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Brian."

When Justin looked at Brian, he could see that Brian was frowning and he wondered why. When Brian caught his eye, Brian smiled. Justin smiled back and couldn't help but think that Brian had a beautiful smile.

TWO HOURS LATER

Everyone had eaten lunch, which consisted of Justin's favorite foods...cheeseburgers, fries, and Mountain Dew. They had all also spent time getting acquainted with Brent.

After the lunch Michael had carried out a platter of seventeen lemon bars, Justin's favorite dessert, with a Birthday candle in each lemon bar. Vic lit the candles, then everyone had sung Happy Birthday while Justin shook his head in embarrassment.

After the song, Lindsay said, "Make a wish, sweetie."

Justin wished for the first thing that popped into his head... that Brian would one day love him as much as he loved Brian. Then, he blew out all seventeen candles in one breath.

"Ready for presents?" asked Melanie.

Justin gave a shy smile and nodded. One by one, Justin opened everyone's presents. From Lindsay and Melanie he received a new set of sketch pencils (the newest on the market and expensive), he got a DVD copy of Yellow Submarine from Molly, from Debbie and Vic he got a fifty dollar gift certificate to The Gap (which made Brian playfully roll his eyes), from Michael he received a thirty dollar gift certificate to the Big Q (where Michael worked) and a comic book featuring Justin as the superhero.

"I found a cool place on the internet where they will write, illustrate, and publish a book or comicbook using whoever you want," beamed Michael.

"Thanks, Mikey. This is pretty neat," Justin said as he flipped though the comicbook.

Emmett got him the complete Barbra Streisand movie collection. "Uh, thanks, Em."

Emmett smiled, "It's about time that you watched some classics, baby."

That made everyone, except Justin, roll their eyes.

Ted got Justin twenty dollars in a coffee stock. "Never too early to think about financial investments," he said.

"Thanks, Ted," replied Justin. From Brent he received a new watch. He opened Brian's gift last, excited to see what it was. It was a leather bound sketch book with his name emblazoned in gold coloring along with the year. It was beautiful. "Wow!" breathed Justin.

Looking at Brian, he beamed his sunshine smile and said, "Thanks." He missed the look of jealousy on Brent's face.

Brian went outside to smoke a cigarette and was joined a minute later by Brent.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Brent demanded.

Not even looking a him, Brian asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Giving *my* boyfriend that gift. It looked like it cost a pretty penny." Brian just shrugged. Brian had had to save for six months to afford that sketch book for Justin... but Justin was worth it.

Brian knew that he had feelings for the blonde, but he tried to deny it. In his mind, it was wrong. He had known Justin since he was ten and Brian was four years older than him. Nothing could ever happen.

Sighing, Brian spoke. Neither Brian nor Brent knew that Justin was standing on the back porch and could hear what they were saying. Justin had walked outside, getting ready to go up to Brian and Brent, when he heard Brian talking.

"Look, Brent, I've known Justin for years. He's one of my closest friends... like a brother." Brian almost choked on that word. He didn't want Justin as a brother... he wanted him as more.

"He's had a hard life. He was beaten and abused for years, before he came back to live with his mother Molly. He still has problems because of it. Nightmares and such. You don't have to worry, Justin's all...yours. "

Brent looked shocked.

They heard a strangled sob and turned around. Justin fled back into the house, slamming the door. After the door slammed shut, Brent continued to look shocked.

Brian had started after Justin when he noticed that Brent wasn't following him. "Aren't you going after him? He's *your* boyfriend."

Brent sighed. "I'm going to need time to process everything."

"What the hell are you talking about?" demanded Brian.

"I just learned things about Justin that I didn't know. This will affect me too, you know,"

Giving Brent a disgusted look, Brian snarled, "You fuckin' asshole." Leaving Brent alone in the backyard, Brian went in to the house.

"Where's Justin?" Brian asked everyone.

"He's upstairs in my room. What happened out there?" asked a worried Michael.

Brian could tell that everyone was worried about Justin. "I'm going to to go and talk to him," Brian answered as he left the kitchen. Walking up the stairs to Michael's room, Brian saw Molly outside the door.

When she saw him, she said, "He's locked the door and refuses to open it. What's wrong with him?"

Sighing, Brian ignored Molly's question and said, "I'll talk to him. Don't worry."

Molly nodded, still looking concerned. "Alright. I'll be downstairs with everyone else."

After she had left, Brian knocked on the door. "Justin," he softly called. When there was no answer, he tried again. "Justin, please answer the door. I want to talk to you."

INSIDE MICHAEL'S ROOM

Justin sighed as he sat on Michael's bed, tears running down his face. He could hear Brian talking to him, wanting him to open the door. Biting his lips, he thought about what to do. Finally, he decided to let Brian into the room and see what he had to say.

Walking over to the door, he unlocked it and opened it. Brian could see the tears on Justin's face and it broke his heart. Walking into the room, Brian shut the door. Justin sat back down on the bed, while Brian took a seat in a chair across from Justin.

After a moment, Brian spoke. "Justin, I'm sorry for telling Brent what I told him. I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry for embarrassing you."

Justin wiped his eyes and looked at Brian. "It did embarrass me a little. I never told Brent because I don't trust him enough. I have... trust issues as you know. I just never thought that you would go telling what happened. Have you told anyone else?"

Brian vehemently shook his head. "Absolutely not! I shouldn't have told him. But he came outside and accused me of wanting you... of wanting to take you from him. So I told him why we're so close. I'm sorry."

Justin nodded. After a minute, he decided to bite the bullet. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you... want me?"

Brian knew what Justin was asking. He knew that he could lie to Justin.... but he didn't want to. Nodding, Brian said, "Yes. Yes, I do."

Justin smiled one of his 'sunshine' smiles and said, "Me, too. Want you, I mean. I've been in love with you for years. I felt a connection to you the first time that I met you. I just never thought that you would want me."

"I'd have to be crazy not to want you, Sunshine. But.... I've known you since you were ten. I think..."

Justin covered Brian's mouth with his right hand. "Don't think, Bri, just feel. Feel what's in your heart. I love you."

"I love you, too," Brian whispered when Justin uncovered his mouth. A second later, their lips were meshed together in their first kiss.

As quick as the kiss had started, it ended when Brian pulled back. He gently but firmly pushed Justin away and stood up. "I-I can't do this."

"But Brian..." started Justin.

Brian shook his head. "No. I can't. I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Justin softly said. Taking one last look at Brian, he walked out of Michael's room and downstairs. Seeing Brent in the kitchen, he said, "Didn't think you'd still be here."

"Justin can we go somewhere and talk?" Justin nodded and looked at his 'family'.

"Thank you all for the wonderful Birthday." After Justin gave everyone hugs, he and Brent left.

A few minutes later, Brian walked into the kitchen. "What the hell is going on?" demanded Molly.

Brian knew that she was worried. He could see that everyone was. Sighing, he spoke. "I let it slip about Justin's past to Brent and he was mad and hurt. I talked to him and that's that." Brian decided not to tell them everything. They would all hate him if they knew about his feelings for Justin. Before anyone could say anything else, he spoke up. "I'm going out for a while." With that said, Brian was gone.

"What was that all about?" wondered Molly.

"I think I know," said Michael.

"I think we all know," replied Emmett.

"Should we help Brian and Justin? We all know how they feel about each other," said Lindsay.

"They should work this out for themselves," said Ted. Everyone agreed but Debbie knew that it was going to be hard. Eventually, she might have to hit both men upside the head!

WITH JUSTIN AND BRENT

Brent parked in front of his house and said, "My parents are gone. C'mon."

Justin walked inside with Brent and they went up to his room.

"Justin...I'm sorry that I wasn't the one to go and talk to you. I was shocked about what I found out. All I could think about was how it was affecting me. Then, I realized that it was a hell of a lot tougher for you. You lived through it. I care about you, Justin, and what I found out doesn't change that. I want to be here for you. Let me."

Justin looked at Brent and it looked like he was being sincere. He knew that he could never love Brent, never love *anyone*, the way he loved Brian... but he did care about Brent. Brent was his boyfriend and wanted to be with him. He would just have to push Brian to the back of mind and leave him there. Brian didn't want him... didn't want to be with him. He said he loved him, but evidently not enough.

Making a decision, Justin nodded and offered Brent a smile. "I'd like for you to be here with me. I care about you, too." With that said, Justin let Brent take his lips into a soft kiss.

ACROSS TOWN

Brian had been driving for a while, trying to get things straight in his mind. He loved Justin but... was it wrong? Did it make him a pervert? He had known Justin since he was ten!

After a while it was dark and Brian found himself driving toward Babylon. A good nice fuck and some JB was exactly what he needed to get Justin out of his mind. At least that's what he was telling himself as he parked his jeep in Babylon's parking lot.

Brian took a deep breath when he walked though the entrance of Babylon. Yes, this was what he needed. But even as he looked around for his first trick, all he could see in his mind was the hurt look on Justin's face when he had pushed him away.

Brian knew that he loved Justin but he just didn't know if he....should. Shaking his head, he spotted his first trick. Ignoring the fact that the young man had blond hair, he walked towards him. Catching the man's eye, he nodded towards the backroom. The man smiled and followed Brian.

The young man felt lucky that Brian had picked him. Everyone knew that Brian only did each trick once, but they all wanted to be the one that he changed that rule for. 'Maybe I will be', the man thought as he reached Brian.

Brian already had his pants undone and down, waiting. "I'm Kirk, by the way." Brian just shrugged. Kirk stifled a sigh and got onto his knees. Wrapping his lips around Brian's erection, he started to give him a blowjob.

Brian tried to stop himself from being bored. The man's technique left a *lot* to be desired. Justin's smiling face popped into Brian's mind and he started imagining that it was Justin's lips wrapped around him. A few minutes later, Brian shot his load into the trick's mouth. Brian pulled up his pants and buttoned and zipped them.

The trick stood up and gave Brian a sexy leer. "How about we finish this up at my place?"

"How about we don't," stated Brian before walking away and leaving a fuming Kirk behind. Brian didn't stop until he was outside and at his jeep. 'I just came thinking of Justin,' he thought with uncertainty. Sighing he got behind the wheel and started driving. He needed to clear his head.

WITH BRENT AND JUSTIN

Justin and Brent were sitting on Brent's bed, still kissing. Brent started guiding Justin back, hoping to get him on his back. Justin broke the kiss and shook his head. 'No, Brent... I'm sorry... I can't."

"Why? Because of that Kinney guy?" Brent demanded.

"Of course not," Justin said although he knew it was a lie. He had always dreamed of Brian being his first lover. And, even though he didn't see that happening in the future, he wasn't ready to have sex with Brent.

"Then why?"

Justin sighed and stood up. "Because, Brent, I'm just not ready. I'm still a... virgin... and I'm not ready to have sex."

Brent angrily stood up. "So, what? You just get me all hot and bothered and don't plan to do anything about it?!"

"What? Brent, what's gotten into you?"

Brent grabbed Justin by his upper arms, tight, and said, "I thought I'd be getting some tonight. If I can't get any from you, I'll find another hole to fuck!"

Justin kneed Brent in the groin, causing the other boy to release him, and said, "Then, find another one and leave me the hell alone!" With that said, Justin ran out of the room, down the stairs, and out the front door. He didn't quit running for two blocks.

When he did stop running, he was trying to get his breathing and heart rate under control when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Justin?" he heard Brian say.

Justin raised his head and looked into Brian's concerned hazel eyes. He grabbed Brian and sobbed, "Brian!"

Brian gently maneuvered Justin into the jeep and buckled him in. He drove to a nice quite place that he knew about. It was a cliff with trees and it offered a great view of the city. Turning the engine off, Brian fixed the key so that the battery was still running. That way, he could leave the headlights on. Turning in his seat to face Justin, he asked, "Wanna tell me what's up?"

Justin sighed and stayed quiet for a few minutes. Finally he spoke. "I was at Brent's house, in his room. We were talking.... he told me how he wanted to be there for me and help me through everything. Then we were... kissing. We ended up sitting on the bed and he started trying to get me to lay down.

"I told him no and he accused me of not wanting to because of.... you. Anyway, I told him that I'm just not ready for sex. He grabbed me and told me that he'd find another hole to f-fuck if he didn't get any from me tonight. I kneed him in the groin, told him to, and ran out of there." Tears were running down Justin's face as he recalled the events from earlier.

Brian was pissed. He was beyond pissed, he was downright furious. How *dare* Brent? Who did he think he was?!!

Trying to keep his voice calm, he said, "He has no right to do or say any of that. It wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it? I *was* in his room. I just don't understand."

"Understand what, Sunshine?"

Justin sighed. "Why nobody likes me or wants me for me."

Brian's heart broke at the sadness in Justin's voice. And he knew that he was the cause of some of it. Making a decision... a decision that he *knew* was right, he spoke. "I do." With that he leaned over and covered Justin's soft lips with his own.

Brian and Justin both felt complete as they continued to kiss. They had found what they each had been missing. When the need for air became great, they pulled apart. "Wow!" Justin whispered.

Brian smiled, "Yeah. That was one hell of a kiss. Best kiss I've ever had."

Justin blushed, then became serious. "What do we do now, Brian?"

Brian sighed. "I can't deny that I have feelings, strong feelings, for you. Not anymore. But... I don't know what to do. What will the 'family' think? Will they say it's weird? Will they think it's wrong?"

Justin put his hands on Brian's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "I worry about that, too. But I love you.... have for years. And, I wanna see what happens. Do you?"

Brian looked at the mature young man in front of him and couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. Nodding, he said, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Justin's face lit up with one of his famous 'Sunshine' smiles and he couldn't contain his happiness. He hugged Brian, kissing his neck.

After a few minutes, Brian pulled back and said, "I want to keep this quiet for a while. Not tell anyone. Not even Daphne, alright?"

Justin would've been lying if he had said that he wasn't disappointed, but he nodded. "Okay."

"Good." With that Brian started the jeep and drove.

BRENT'S HOUSE

Brent was fuming as he lay on his back in his bed. He couldn't *believe* that that little bastard had kneed him. He was still hurting down there! He had asked Justin out because he was beautiful with a bubble ass to die for. But he also had this vulnerability... this innocence about him.

Brent knew that Justin was a virgin and that had made it all the better. He, himself, had been with numerous guys.... but never a virgin. As he had gotten to know Justin, he had seen that Justin was a nice enough guy. Funny, smart, everything you would want in a boyfriend. But he also now knew that Justin was pining away for *Brian Kinney*. He could see it in Justin's eyes whenever he looked at Kinney.

It pissed him off and today he had had enough. That's why he had snapped when Justin refused to have sex with him. He just *knew* that he was waiting for Brian Kinney to be his first. Brian was sexy, he had to admit that, but he had never been turned down for sex before.

And when he had found out about Justin's past, he had wondered how it would affect him. Especially if people found out. But, then, he had decided that it didn't matter. He would look like the good guy for being with someone with so much baggage.

Shaking his head, Brent blew out a frustrated breath. He still couldn't believe that Justin hadn't wanted sex with him. Narrowing his eyes, Brent decided that Justin would be sorry. Nobody *ever* turned down Brent Milworth and Justin Taylor was *not* going to be the first!

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