Ain't Worth Missing

Author's Note: Michael is a nice guy in this story. And, Brian isn't afraid to show his feelings. He was adopted by Debbie.

 

He's flyin' high tonight
He's got a brand new lover

Justin and Daphne walked into the Liberty Diner, seeing the rest of the gang sitting at their usual booth. They walked over as room was made for them to sit down.

"Even on your day off, you can't stay away from the diner, Wonder Boy," joked Michael.

Justin gave a slight smile. He had been working at the diner for two years, since he was sixteen. He had gotten the job when he got kicked out of his house. When his parents had found out that he was gay, they had thrown a fit and had forbid him from seeing his younger sister Molly. Two months later, they moved and he hadn't seen any of them since. Debbie and her brother Vic offered him a room at their house and he'd been there since.

"What's with the glum face, darlin'?" asked Emmett when he noticed the puffy eyes and the sad look.

Justin sighed. "Eric broke up with me last night. He said that he was tired of waiting for me to be ready to have... sex," Justin said with a slight blush. "He's been seeing someone else for a couple of weeks. Evidently, he can get everything he wants with the new guy."

"Sorry, Justin," Michael's partner Ben said, with a sympathetic look.

Justin and Eric Thompson had met at Woody's three months before and had hit it off. They had started dating and had been together ever since. The whole gang had tried to be supportive of their relationship, but none of them liked Eric. They just tolerated him for Justin's sake. They all felt that Justin could do a lot better. Eric just wasn't good enough for their Sunshine.

"It's his loss. He's a fuckin' idiot," stated Brian.

Justin looked at Brian and gave him a genuine smile. Next to Daphne, Brian was his best friend and could always make him feel better. He had met Michael and Brian when he had stated working at the diner and living with Debbie. Debbie was Michael's birth mother and Brian's adoptive mother. He had instantly gotten along with both men and had met the rest of the gang through them. From what he had learned from Brian, he had been adopted at the age of eight. His older sister Claire had gotten hit by a car and had died. His birth parents were drunks and abusive. He had told Justin that he had learned what love was from the Novotny's.

Justin hated thinking about what Brian had gone through, but he was glad that he had been taken in by a loving family. He had to admit that Brian was extremely sexy, but felt that Brian was out of his league. He knew that Brian could have any man that he wanted, and most of the time did. So, he settled for being just friends.

Hearing his name, Justin shook his head and looked up from the table. He saw all of the concerned looks. "You okay, Sunshine? I've been tying to get your attention for five minutes," said Debbie.

Justin looked sheepish. "Sorry, Deb. I was thinking."

"Well, what do ya want?"

"Oh, um, just give me a double cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake."

As Debbie smiled and left to put in his order, Emmett said, "I wish I could eat like you do and keep my figure."

"Don't we all?" laughed Daphne.

"PIFA all set for next month?" asked Ted, trying to change the subject.

Justin nodded. "Yeah. I'm just glad that I got the scholarship."

"Why wouldn't you?" asked a very pregnant Lindsay. "You're a great artist."

Justin couldn't help but blush at the compliment. "Thanks, Linds. So, are you excited that the baby's a boy?"

"Yeah. Mel and I didn't really have a preference. I'll just be glad when he's here."

"You and me both, babe," Melanie told Lindsay before giving her a small peck. Justin smiled at them. He couldn't wait for Lindsay to give birth. Brian was the father. He had agreed to do Melanie and Lindsay the favor, on the condition that he could retain parental rights. Melanie had written up a contract where all three of them would be able to have parental rights, and Justin was glad. He couldn't wait to see the baby. He just knew that he was going to look like Brian.

"So, who's up for Babylon, tonight?" asked Michael.

Everyone, even Daphne, agreed, except for Justin. "I don't know..."

"Come on. I know that Eric broke up with you and you're heartbroken, but you need to have some fun. Take your mind off of him. Please," Michael pleaded.

Justin thought for a few minutes. He had spent all of the night before and half of the day crying over Eric. Maybe Michael was right. Maybe going to Babylon would do him some good. He nodded. "Okay. I'm in."

Here you come a runnin'
You're lookin' for some cover
I know you're sad and lonely
I know you're feelin' blue
You miss him so much
Won't let me get too close to you

At ten that night, the gang walked into Babylon. Justin caught Daphne checking out all of the men when they entered the club. Leaning close enough to be heard over the music, Justin said, "Now I realize why you're my friend. So you can hang out at these places and ogle all of the hot looking men."

Daphne shrugged and gave him a smirk. "You caught me. What can I say?" Giving a little dramatic sigh, she added, "It's just a shame that they're
all gay!"

Justin and the others couldn't help but laugh as they sidled up to the bar and ordered their drinks.

"Wanna dance, sweetie?" Emmett asked.

Justin nodded, "Sure." If there was one thing, besides his art, that Justin loved... it was dancing. He loved letting the beat move him... move through him. A fast song was playing as Justin and Emmett hit the dance floor. Emmett was doing his 'Praise Jesus' move, causing Justin to smile, when Justin saw someone over Emmett's shoulder.

Justin's smile quickly faded and he stopped moving. "What's wrong?" asked a concerned Emmett.

"He's here. With him!" Justin whispered. Emmett could hear the hurt in Justin's voice and immediately knew who his friend was talking about. Sighing, he glanced behind him. He saw Eric grinding with a tall black-haired man who looked to be Justin's age. He assumed that it was the same man that Justin had been dumped for. Emmett had to admit that the young man was handsome, but Emmett couldn't help but dislike him. Almost as much as he disliked Eric. They had both caused his friend so much pain.

 

AT THE BAR

"Looks like something's the matter," said Daphne.

Ben, Ted, Michael, and Brian looked towards Justin and Emmett with a mixture of curiosity and concern. They saw Emmett and Justin just standing on the dance floor, not moving.

"I think I've spotted the problem," commented Ted. "Eric and his new man are here." The others looked and could see Eric and the new boyfriend not very far from where Emmett and Justin were.

"Shit!" hissed Michael.

"What's that fucker doing here?" mumbled Brian.

"Well, to be fair," said Ben, "it is a free country. They are allowed to come here if they want." When Ben saw the death-glare that Brian was shooting his way, he held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Although, they shouldn't be allowed in here because of what they did to Justin." Brian nodded his head in a 'that's better' gesture.

Without saying a word, Brian left the bar and walked towards Emmett and Justin. "You know, this could be the right time for Brian and Justin," said Daphne. Ted, Ben, and Michael nodded with small smiles. Everyone in their makeshift little family knew that Brian was in love with Justin. But he refused to admit it. They could also see that Justin was attracted to Brian, but for some reason didn't think he was good enough for him. Maybe, now, was the time for Brian and Justin to admit their feelings.

 

ON THE DANCE FLOOR

Brian stopped when he was directly behind Justin and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist, causing the blonde to jump a little. "Didn't mean to scare you," Brian said.

Justin shrugged, "It's alright." Brian and Emmett saw that Justin's eyes were still locked on his former boyfriend.

"How about we dance? Make a Justin sandwich?" asked Brian, trying to ease away the tension. But before Justin could reply, Eric and his new boyfriend were standing with them.

"Justin, fancy meeting you here," said Eric.

"Not really. I come here all the time," Justin answered. Emmett and Brian had to give the blonde credit... his voice had come out even.

"So, Eric, who's this?" asked Brian as he gestured to the man hanging off of Eric's arm.

"This is Henry, my lover." Brian and Emmett saw Justin flinch slightly at the word lover. Emmett was angry with Eric for hurting his friend. Brian was furious with the asshole, also, for hurting Justin. But Brian knew why he was so angry. He was in love with Justin and he couldn't believe that somebody ... anybody would hurt the young man.

"Don't you mean, he's the replacement? Second best? Because you had *the best when you had Justin," said Brian. Henry and Eric were speechless. Taking advantage of their shock, Brian grabbed Justin's hand and said, "Let's go."

As Brian and Justin walked away, Emmett smiled and clapped while Eric and Henry still stood there trying to think of a comeback.

 

AT BRIAN'S LOFT

After ushuring Justin inside and shutting the steel door, Brian asked, "Want anything to drink?"

"Beam?"

"Good choice," Brian said with a smirk.

After they had their drinks and were sitting on the couch, Justin asked, "Why did you say that to Eric?"

Brian knew what Justin was referring to and decided to be honest. "Because it was the truth. And, you know that I always tell the truth."

Justin nodded, he did know that.

Taking Justin's drink out of his hand, he set them both on the coffeetable. Turning to face Justin, he said, "There's something that I need to tell you."

"What?"

Taking a deep breath, Brian began. "We've been good friends, best friends for a few years now. But I've always wanted... more." He saw Justin's eyes widen slightly as his words sunk in.

"Wh--What do you mean?" whispered Justin.

"I mean that I would like for us to be more than friends. I know this probably isn't the best time, because of Eric and all, but I love you. I'm in love with you, Justin." Before Justin could reply, Brian's lips were meshing together with his.


You know I'm here to save you
But you ain't through cryin' yet
Look at your pretty face
All red and soakin' wet
I'm gonna try to make him
Just a memory
Come on baby, let's get started
The first thing you've got to see
Oh, he ain't worth missin'
Oh, we should be kissin'
Stop all this foolish wishin'
(Oh) he ain't worth missin'

The kiss lasted for a couple of minutes, a couple of minutes that Brian was in heaven. Then, suddenly, Justin pulled back and hastily stood up. Brian was confused as he looked at Justin. Justin had a few tears running down his face. Brian stood up and faced the young man.

"What's the matter, Justin?"

Justin sighed and shook his head. "I can't do this."

"Why not? Is it because of Eric? Because if it is, he's not worth being in any of your thoughts."

Justin sighed. "He's part of the reason."

Brian sighed. "He's not worth it. When we were kissin'... my dreams had come true."

Justin closed his eyes for a brief second, then re-opened them. "Mine, too. But I can't go through with you what I went through with Eric."

"What are you talking about?" Brian reached up, cupping Justin's cheek as he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears. "I love you, Sunshine."

Justin nodded as he stepped out of Brian's reach. "I love you, too. I did before I ever got together with Eric. And, he told me that he loved me and I thought that he was the one. The one to help me get over you, because I never thought that you would look at me as anything other than a best friend. I've seen how you are, Brian, and I wouldn't be able to bear having to put up with all of the tricks. I've seen you get any guy that you want. Sometimes more than one a night.

"When I found out that Eric was cheating on me... it broke my heart. I'm not strong enough to go through that, again. Especially not with you. And I know that I wouldn't be able to bear knowing that you've been with other men. Or having to watch you pick up a trick. It's always broken my heart... I can't even imagine how I would feel about it if we were together. I would always be wondering if one of the tricks that you picked up would be the one to make you change your mind about us. If he would be able to give you more than I could. I think it's just better if, maybe, I give up on the relationship thing. Maybe fags aren't meant to be in one."

With that said, Justin gave the silent Brian a quick peck on the cheek, then left the loft. Walking away was breaking Justin's heart, but he was doing what he thought was right.

Brian sat down on his couch and lit up a cigarette, thinking about everything that Justin had said. When they had been kissing, Brian had loved it. Now, he didn't know what to think. He couldn't really blame Justin for thinking that things would end up the same as they had with Eric. Justin had seen him pick up different men, sometimes several in one night, at Babylon. But he had done that to try and get Justin out of his thoughts because he didn't think that he would ever get the man that he actually wanted.

Sighing, he ran his tongue lightly over his lips. He could still taste Justin. Putting out his cigarette, he reached for the phone. He knew what he had to do. He would have Justin.


If you need someone to hold you
Someone to ease your pain
Well I'll be holdin' steady
I'm gonna show you love is a good thing

THE NEXT NIGHT--9PM

"What are we doin' here, Daph?" asked Justin. Somehow, he had let her persuade him to go out with her to get something to eat. Now, here it was, nine at night, and Daphne had pulled up in front of Lindsay and Melanie's house.

Daphne gave him a smile and replied, "You'll see."

Justin just raised an eyebrow, an action that he was sure he had picked up from Brian, and followed her. When he realized that they were going around the house, and not to the front door, he stopped. "Wait a minute, Daphne, what's going on? Why are we going to the back of the house?"

Daphne released an exasperated breath. "Why do you have to ask so many questions. Trust me, okay? Have I ever steered you wrong?" Before Justin could answer, Daphne grabbed his arm and started leading him to the backyard. When they reached the backyard, Justin stopped walking and stood in awe. It was beautiful. There were white lights hanging all through the trees, a round table (with two chairs) had been set up. There was a white tablecloth on the table along with two wine glasses and two sets of dinnerware. There was soft music playing, although Justin couldn't see a radio.

"What is all this?" he whispered.

"It's all for you, Sunshine," Brian answered as he stood in front of Justin. Holding out a single red rose, he handed it to Justin. "I know that you're allergic to flowers, so I got you this. It's fake but it looks real."

Justin couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him as he stared at Brian with tear-filled eyes. "Thank you," he said softly. Neither man noticed as Daphne walked away, they were both too interested in looking at each other.

After a couple minutes of silence, Justin wiped his eyes and asked, "What made you do this?"

Taking Justin's hands in his, Brian answered. "I did this to show you how much I love you. I'm usually not one for romantic sentiments, but for you I would do anything. I know that Eric hurt you but I'm not him. And, yes, I know that I trick a lot... but that was because of you." When Justin opened his mouth to respond, Brian rushed on. "I'm not saying that it's your fault I tricked all the time, Sunshine. I just never thought that you would want to be with me. I thought that you only wanted me as your friend. So I fucked all those guys to try and forget about you.

"It never worked. Even when I was with them, I was wishing it was you that I was with. I love you, Justin, and I'm willing to change. If you'll have me. I won't... don't want anyone but you. It'll be just you and me, baby."

Justin smiled and couldn't help the happy tears that were rolling down his face. "I love you, too, Brian. Always have... always will. Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Promise me that you'll always be honest with me."

Brian wiped away Justin's tears with his thumbs, and whispered, "I promise," then leaned in and captured Justin's lips with his own. This time Justin didn't pull away. The kiss lasted until they both needed air. "Ready for dinner?" asked Brian.

Justin nodded. As they walked to the table, Justin asked, "By the way... where are Mel and Linds?"

"They agreed to stay at Debbie's tonight as long as I agreed to have their backyard back to normal tomorrow." Brian pulled Justin's chair out for him, then took his own.

"Are you gentlemen ready for the main course?" asked Michael in a cheesy French accent.

Justin laughed as Brian nodded. "Very well," Michael said before walking away.

"Who all did you involve in this little scheme, Mister Kinney?" teased Justin.

Brian smirked. "Everyone. Daphne had the job of getting you here. Vic cooked the food that we're going to be eating. Emmett helped me decorate. Michael and Ben will be our waiters. And, Ted loaned me this classical music CD that we are listening to. Debbie, Lindsay, and Melanie wished me good luck and agreed to stay away."

Justin laughed and said, "I'll have to thank them all."

Just then, Michael and Ben arrived, each carrying a plate. Ben was also carrying a small bucket that had a wine bottle chilling in ice. They sat the plates down. Ben popped open the red wine, then poured them each a generous amount in their wine glasses. "Enjoy," Ben said with a smile before he and Michael left.

"This looks wonderful!" gushed Justin. There was stuffed lamb, garlic mashed potatoes, greens, and buttered rolls.

"Smells pretty good, too. We'll definitely have to thank Vic for this," said a happy Brian. He couldn't be happier. Justin loved him, had agreed to give them a chance, and the night went off without any problems.

AN HOUR LATER

The meal had been finished, and the two men had enjoyed talking. "Would you care to dance?" Brian asked. Justin smiled and nodded. Standing up, Brian held out his right hand. Justin took his hand and stood. They danced, just looking into each other's eyes.

A few minutes later, the music changed. It went from classical to a love song. As they listened to the lyrics, they both knew that the song was talking about them.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best...when you say nothing at all

As the song played the two men held each other tight, softly swaying.


All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's been said between your heart and mine

When the song finished, Brian and Justin looked into each others eyes and didn't say a word. But love was being passed through that look.

 

THAT NIGHT--11PM

Brian and Justin entered Brian's loft, neither wanting the night to end. "Want somethin' to drink?" asked Brian after the door had been closed and the alarm set.

"No," Justin said as he stared at Brian. Brian could see the lust and love in Justin's eyes. He walked up to the blonde, cupped his cheek with one hand and put the other hand on the back of Justin's head. A second later the two pairs of lips met. The kiss quickly turned from slow to heated and passionate, with their tongues dueling for dominance.

They slowly walked, as they continued to kiss, up the two steps to Brian's bed. The back of Justin's knees hit the bed and he plopped down onto his ass, breaking the kiss. Brian licked his lips and started to take his shirt off. When he reached to unbutton his pants, Justin stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. When Brian looked at him with confused eyes, Justin explained.

"I've never... had sex before. Fooled around a little but never went all the way. What if you're... disappointed?"

Brian gave Justin a soft smile. "I could never be disappointed. It'll be great because it's you." Justin smiled his sunshine smile, put his hands on Brian's pants, and proceeded to unbutton and unzip them. When both men were completely naked, they took their time looking at each other.

"You're beautiful," Justin whispered with sincerity.

"You're the beautiful one, Sunshine," Brian replied. Before anything else could be said, Brian started kissing Justin. Slowly working his way down the young blond's body, he finally reached his destination. Justin was already hard and leaking. Brian took a moment to stare at Justin's erection, then he suddenly deep-throated Justin making his lover arch up. "Shit!" Justin cried.

Brian took Justin's dick out of his mouth, then licked the pre-cum from the slit... causing Justin to shudder. After a few minutes of Brian licking, sucking, and deep-throating, Justin erupted into the brunet's mouth. Brian swallowed everything that Justin had to offer.

After Justin regained his breath, he said, "That was great!"

Brian smirked and said, "The best is yet to come." Brian grabbed a tube of lube out of the bedside table and placed a condom beside him and Justin. Spreading Justin's legs and having him bend his knees, so his ass was even with Brian's face, Brian blew on Justin's twitching hole. Then his wet warm tongue dived in, causing Justin to arch and holler. After a few minutes of using his tongue to loosen Justin, he raised up and put some lube on his fingers. Sticking his index finger into Justin, he worked it around and angled it to hit the prostate. Within a couple of minutes, he had three fingers inside of Justin. He could tell that Justin was going to be tight, but he had loosened him up as best he could.

Opening the condom packet and rolling the condom onto his dick, Brian said, "If you change your mind or it hurts too much, let me know. Understood?" Justin nodded his head. Brian lined his dick up and slowly started to enter Justin. After breaching the first ring of muscle, he stilled to let Justin adjust.

"Keep going," Justin said. Brian gave one final thrust and was all the way in. After a couple of minutes, the pain turned to pleasure and Justin needed Brian to start moving. "Move, Brian! Please!"

Brian obeyed, slowly thrusting in and out. Brian had known that being inside of Justin would be amazing, but the reality was nothing like the dream. It was better! Angling his hips, he hit Justin's prostate over and over.

"Harder! Shit... yeah!" Justin panted. They both wanted it to last forever, but knew that it couldn't. They could both feel their orgasams rapidly approaching. Justin shot his load onto his and Brian's chests. His muscles clamped down on Brian's dick, wringing his orgasm out of him. Brian shot his load into the condom. He had never cum so hard in his life!

Pulling out, he heard Justin gasp at the loss. 'Hopefully, there will be no condoms between us soon,' Brian thought. Tying the condom, he threw it in the wastebasket beside the bed. Then, he collapsed down beside Justin, snuggling up to him. After a few minutes of both of them basking in the after-glow, Brian spoke. "I didn't even have to touch you."

Justin blushed. "I know, I came like an inexperienced kid."

Brian fervently shook his head. "No, no you didn't. I like that you came just from me fucking you."

Justin gave him a shy smile and said, "I was turned on more than I have ever been before. I love you, Brian."

"I love you, too, Sunshine." With that said, they both closed their eyes and fell into a deep contented sleep.

 

ONE MONTH LATER

Brian, Justin, Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Ben walked into Babylon ready to do some dancing. Brian and Justin both had never been so happy. They had been together for a month. Brian hadn't tricked once, didn't even want to. He had Justin... the man he had been in love with for so long. He refused to hurt Justin just for some piece of ass. He had all the man that he needed or wanted right beside him.

All six men headed out onto the dance floor immediately. There was a fast song playing and Justin and Brian wrapped around each other so tight that not even a piece of paper would fit between them. As they moved as one, grinding and kissing, the other four men looked on with smiles. They were happy for their friends.

There was a tap on his shoulder and Justin saw Brian looking behind him with a scowl. Wondering who was behind him, Justin turned around and saw Eric. "What do you want?" Justin asked.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Fuck off!" Brian growled.

"I was talking to Justin, not you," Eric snarled back.

"Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of Brian."

"I want you back, Justin. Henry and I are through and I realized that you're who I want. I'm willing to wait as long as you need to for sex."

Looking at Eric, Justin felt nothing. Not lust, not disgust, not anger... nothing. Eric was nothing more than an annoying little interruption. "Eric, I don't want you. I'm with Brian."

"Brian?" scoffed Eric. "He won't be able to give you what you need. He's nothing but a slut!"

"He is not, Eric! You are! He loves me and I love him. Now go away and leave me alone." Justin waved his hand in a dismissive gesture and turned away from Eric. Eric's face flushed red from embarrassment, at having so many people witness his rejection. Hurriedly he moved through the crowd and left Babylon.

"That piece of shit. I oughta..." Brian hissed.

"Forget about him, baby. He's nothing. I love you."

"I love you."

"Now where were we?" Justin asked coyly.

Brian smirked, tongue in cheek, and said, "Right here." Brian captured Justin's lips in a soft loving kiss.

THE END

(Below are the two songs used in the story)

"When You Say Nothing At All" by Boyzone

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best...when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
What's been said between your heart and mine

(Chorus 2x)

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me..

(Chrous)

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me..

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)



"He Ain't Worth Missin" by Toby Keith

He's flyin' high tonight
He's got a brand new lover
Here you come a runnin'
You're lookin' for some cover
I know you're sad and lonely
I know you're feelin' blue
You miss him so much
Won't let me get too close to you

Chorus:
Oh, he ain't worth missin'
Oh, we should be kissin'
Stop all this foolish wishin'
(Oh) He ain't worth missin'
I know your head is turnin'
I know your heart is burnin'
Girl, You've got to listen
Don't you know he ain't worth missin'

You know I'm here to save you
But you ain't through cryin' yet
Look at your pretty face
All red and soakin' wet
I'm gonna try to make him just a memory
Come on baby, let's get started
The first thing you've got to see

(Repeat Chorus)
If you need someone to hold you
Someone to ease your pain
Well I'll be holdin' steady
Girl, When you get ready
I'm gonna show you love is a good thing

Yeah, love is a good thing

(Repeat chorus twice and fade)

 

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