Tapestry

Author's Notes: While this fic features Brian and Justin, it is very much an ensemble piece, and all the canon characters have a storyline. It really took a village to bring this to you. Special thanks to noteverything for encouraging me to write it. Huge thanks to outlander and fun_demented for taking on the task of betaing for me. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

 

^^^^^^

Emmett slid into the booth hastily, pushing Michael into Brian and causing him to spill his coffee. “Thank God you’re all here,” Emmett sighed drastically.

“Yeah, you’d never expect to find us in the diner on a Thursday morning would you?” Brian replied, flicking some of the spilled coffee in Emmett’s direction as Michael attempted to mop it up.

“Stop being such a crab. I’m in desperate need of advice here. As you know, Bruce and I are at a delicate stage in our relationship, and his birthday is Sunday. I need a gift that says ‘I love you and want to keep living with you and having hot sex’ not one that says ‘I love you and want to have your babies.’”

“Pregnancy really would ruin your figure.” Ted nodded, but couldn’t keep from giggling.

“It’s not funny, Teddy. It’s just Bruce is so wonderfully masculine, and since I moved in I’ve been doing some redecorating, and he loves my cooking. I don’t want him to think I’m turning into a housewife, but I also want to get him something special. It’s hopeless.” Emmett slumped against the back of the booth.

“Get him a butt plug.”

“Brian, a butt plug is not an all occasion gift!” Michael chastised.

“Sure it is. Bruce sure as hell won’t think of you as a housewife when he’s begging you to take the plug out and fuck him. And that ass in the air for you is a gift to yourself,” Brian finished smugly.

“You do have a point,” Emmett mused.

But Michael thought there was something odd about what Brian had said. “What do you mean ‘that ass?’ Don’t tell me you and Bruce. . .”

Brian smiled smugly. Emmett sat back up. “Bruce never said anything.”

“He probably didn’t want to give you performance anxiety,” Brian shrugged. “Besides, it was a long time ago. Just after I got back from college.”

“I’m surprised you remember,” Michael asked suspiciously.

“Emmett knows why. There are some asses you never forget. Isn’t that right Emmett?”

Emmett blushed furiously. “Yes, well. So...so, Ted,” Emmett stuttered. “Ted, any ideas?” He turned his attention to the other side of the table where Ted and Blake had been whispering to each other and only partly following the rest of the conversation.

“Why don’t you take him somewhere? Get out of the house for a while and go to a concert or something.”

“Not a bad idea, but with my luck some random gang war would break out and he’d get called into work. The trials of loving a cop. Right, Debbie?” Emmett asked as she arrived with more coffee.

“What honey?” Debbie refilled their cups and headed to the next table without bothering to wait for an answer.

“As fascinating as the conversation has been, some of us have work to do.” Brian shoved Michael into Emmett and they both scrambled out of the booth. “A butt plug, Honeycutt. You won’t regret it. Theodore,” Brian called as he reached the door.

“Right behind you, Brian,” Ted answered as he and Blake stood. Ted gave Blake a quick kiss. “I’d better go. It’s never a good idea to leave the boss alone at the office for long.”

“Hey,” Blake reached out and grabbed Ted’s arm before he could go. “I’m going to a meeting after work. Will you be there?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ted agreed, but he didn’t meet Blake’s eyes.

“Ted, it’s been over a week. You really need. . .”

“I said I’d be there, now I really have to go.”

 

^^^^^^
 

An hour later, Ted found himself in Brian’s office waiting while he finished a phone call. “I thought you were going to New York this weekend?” Ted asked when he realized Brian was canceling his plane tickets.

“I am, but I’m driving instead. Justin needs,” Brian cut himself off with a wave of his hand. “It’s not important. What is important is that there’s a change of plans for today’s meetings. Leo Brown has a crisis brewing with one of his suppliers so he isn’t coming.”

“Well, that clears up the afternoon. I just wish I hadn’t stayed so late last night getting the reports ready.”

“Don’t start planning a three hour lunch just yet. This is just a yearly status meeting not even a renewal so we don’t need Leo. Jason from their financial department is coming instead.”

“Well, here are the reports if you want to look them over before the meeting.”

Brian shook his head when Ted held the folders out to him. “If we don’t need Leo, we don’t need me either. I have more important things to do so just handle it.”

“Sure, Bri, no problem.” Ted turned toward the door, then remembering exactly who Jason was, he turned back to Brian with a smile on his face. “Should I let Jason know that although you won’t be at the meeting, you’ll be happy to entertain him while he’s in town?”

“That won’t be necessary. As much as I enjoyed Jason’s hospitality when we were in Chicago, I no longer require any services from Brown’s financial department and won’t be returning the favor.” Brian leaned back in his chair and gave Ted a pointed look. “Try to make sure he’s not too disappointed.”

“I’ll do my best, but I doubt he’ll find me as hospitable.” As Ted exited the office he heard Brian ask Cynthia to get Jennifer on the phone. He spared the request only a moment’s curiosity as he mentally shifted gears and focused on the reports Jason would be expecting.

 

^^^^^^

Justin usually lingered on his way home from work especially when the weather was nice, but he rushed back to his apartment. Tomorrow he had a meeting with his agent which was sure to run over so he needed to get things ready for Brian’s visit now.

He stepped into the bedroom and suppressed the image of Brian sprawled across his sheets. It had been over a month since Brian’s last trip to New York, and if Justin started thinking about all the things he wanted to do to him, he’d end up jerking off and falling asleep instead of cleaning.

The apartment was tiny and Justin didn’t spend much time there so it didn’t take long to deal with the clutter that had accumulated. Once he put the dishes in to soak, he contemplated the current layout. He’d have to rearrange the furniture to accommodate his easel, and the limited space presented more of a challenge than he’d anticipated.

“Fuck,” Justin muttered when he realized, even on the third try, the place he’d moved the coffee/dining table wouldn’t work. He was tempted to give up on the whole project and let Brian figure it out, but after asking him to cancel his flight and drive the easel up, he couldn’t really expect him to move furniture around, too.

Justin had expected Brian to object to the change in plans, but he hadn’t. Generally he hated driving to the city since he couldn’t work while he drove like he could sitting on the plane, but he’d agreed without even bargaining for sexual favors. Justin could only assume he was happy to get the easel out of the loft since Justin never used it. Somehow, they always found other things to do when he was there.

He’d been thinking about trying some smaller pieces, and it was inconvenient as hell to head to the studio every time he wanted to paint for a little bit. Eying the room critically, Justin was sure he’d figured out the perfect way to arrange the furniture. He gritted his teeth and reached for the table again.

 

^^^^^^

Jason’s flight was delayed so Ted met with him at the end of the day. The Brown Athletics contract could have been reviewed in less than an hour, but Ted found himself drawing the meeting out. It didn’t take Ted long to realize Jason was flirting with him, and while that would normally fluster him, there was something about Jason that put Ted at ease, and he found himself flirting back.

Jason was as intelligent and interesting as Ted remembered. And possibly even better looking, or maybe Ted just hadn’t paid enough attention since at their last meeting, Jason’s attention had been firmly focused on Brian. But Ted was looking now. Jason was tall and lean with sparkling blue eyes. A few years older than Ted, his hair had more grey than Ted remembered, but on him it was dignified and he carried it with an ease Ted both admired and envied.

When he noticed the city growing dark outside his window, Ted knew it was time to wrap things up. “Why don’t we leave these last few details for tomorrow? You must be tired after your trip.”

“A little,” Jason agreed. “Can you recommend a good restaurant?”

“I can do one better and take you there myself,” Ted heard himself offering.

“I’d like that. Will your partner be joining us?” Jason asked with a speculative glance at the ring Ted wore.

“No, he has a meeting tonight so it will just be the two of us.” Ted swallowed nervously.

“Lead the way.”

Jason guided Ted to the door with a hand on his back, leaving Ted to wonder just who was leading. But he pushed his doubts aside, and on the way to the restaurant called directly into Blake’s voicemail to let him know he was having dinner with a client and would be home late.

 

^^^^^^

Melanie and Lindsay spent their anniversary, like most couples with small children do when a special occasion falls during the week, at home. Melanie picked up take-out from their favorite Greek restaurant after work. The kids still preferred hot dogs to moussaka and spanakopita so they waited until after Gus and JR were sleeping to eat.

Dinner was leisurely for once without any spilled drinks or requests for more ketchup. Using the money they saved not hiring a babysitter, they’d splurged on a good bottle of wine. They used the time to catch up with each other, sharing only the funny stories about work instead of the usual frustrations. Later they carried their last glasses of wine upstairs and finished them while filling the tub with warm water and lavender scented bubbles.

The bath was also meant to be leisurely, but just as the warmth from the water really started to seep into Lindsay’s bones, and she started to relax, Melanie began to lazily stroke her, the slick water making it easy for her fingers to slip inside. But lazy wasn’t enough for long, and Lindsay turned to straddle Mel and return the favor. The water was barely cool before they were coming against each other’s fingers and muffling their cries with frantic kisses.

“Your skin’s so soft now,” Lindsay whispered later once they’d settled in their bed. Melanie made a small noise in response, and Lindsay knew she should let her fall asleep. It was already late, and they’d both pay for the lack of sleep as well as the wine tomorrow, especially Melanie who started work two hours before Lindsay. But Melanie looked so beautiful and smelled so good, she couldn’t help herself.

“You’re still warm from the bath,” she began again, as she licked the underside of Melanie’s breast. She circled the nipple with her tongue and smiled when she heard Melanie’s indrawn breath. “I wanted to take things slow tonight. Figured we’d stay in the tub until we were all pruney. But I like this better.” She continued to lick Melanie’s breast while kneading the other with her hand.

“You do?” Melanie asked, arching her back and bringing her nipple back to Lindsay’s mouth.

“I do,” Lindsay murmured once she was done sucking. She moved down Melanie’s body licking the taut, smooth skin of her abdomen. “You’re so relaxed and ready for me. So beautiful and open.”

She pressed Melanie’s legs back, then gently opened the folds of skin and flicked her tongue across Melanie’s opening before pushing inside. She thrust her tongue in deeply again and again until Melanie pulled at her hair urging her higher.

Lindsay replaced her tongue with her fingers, twisting them inside Melanie as she began to lick her clitoris.

“God, Linds.” Melanie moaned, shifting constantly against Lindsay.

Warmth flooded her own vagina, and Lindsay was tempted to touch herself. But she brought her free hand up where Melanie caught it and guided it to her breast. She fluttered her tongue against Melanie’s clitoris, setting off Melanie’s orgasm.

Lindsay waited for Melanie to still before removing her fingers. Drunk on the taste and feel of her wife, she moved quickly back up the bed, pausing briefly to look at the beauty of Mel’s pleasure-dazed face before kissing her deeply.

Melanie returned the kiss, and then with sudden speed, flipped Lindsay onto her back, straddling her hips. “What do you need, Babe?” she asked.

“Not much,” Lindsay groaned, pushing her hips up. “Just your hand.” Her breath caught in a gasp as Melanie slid two fingers inside before sliding them up to circle her clitoris.

“Christ, Linds you weren’t kidding. You’re so wet for me.” She moved her fingers along the same path again and again, moving a little faster each time. “Come for me, Lindsay,” she demanded before catching Lindsay’s mouth in another kiss.

Lindsay clasped Melanie’s wrist and pushed her fingers in deeper, then stroked her own clitoris as she came.

 

^^^^^^
 

Michael was coming up the stairs with laundry when he heard Ben call his name. He paused at the landing and yelled back down, “If I dropped a sock, I’ll get it later. If I dropped your underwear consider it a hint.”

“Funny,” Ben called back. “Do you know if Hunter needs his meds refilled? I have to stop at the pharmacy before class tomorrow.”

“I’m not sure, let me check.” Michael set the basket in the hall and walked into the bathroom. He picked up no less than three towels before he reached the medicine chest. “Would it kill him to actually use the hamper,” Michael bitched under his breath. Then he pulled the first bottle off the shelf and fell silent.

“Michael?” Ben set his book aside and realized almost an hour had passed since Michael went upstairs. “The pharmacy closes in a few minutes. Did you find anything?” Ben moved to the foot of the stairs. Just as he was about to go upstairs himself, Michael came to the top of the landing. The anger on his face startled Ben.

“I don’t know. What do you think?” Michael threw a pill bottle down the stairs.

Ben caught it after it bounced off the last step. The blue label let him know it was Hunter’s. Since their medication regimes were very different, Ben and Hunter had the pharmacy color code the labels as an extra precaution against confusing them. The bottle felt heavy, and he looked questionably at Michael. “I guess he doesn’t need a refill?” Ben wondered what he was missing.

“Look at the date.” Michael crossed his arms and glared at the bottle Ben was holding.

Ben examined the label more closely and closed his eyes in shock. The mostly full bottle had been filled over three months ago. “Maybe he misplaced this one.” Ben was grasping at straws, but he knew from the look on Michael’s face there was more to it than that.

“They’re all like that,” Michael said as he came down the stairs.

“What is he doing?” Ben asked helplessly. He followed Michael into the kitchen and took the beer Michael handed him, without really noticing what he was doing.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m going to kill him as soon as he gets home so it won’t matter.” Michael quickly finished his own beer and pulled out another.

“Michael,” Ben reached out and placed a calming hand on his husband’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out.” Michael paced the small kitchen restlessly. “I don’t care what his excuse is; I’m still going to kill him.”

They were no closer to a reasonable explanation or solution when Hunter called an hour later to say he was working on a project for class and would be crashing with a friend in the dorms. Luckily, Ben answered the phone because on hearing Hunter’s voice Michael would have demanded his immediate return before loudly telling him everything they knew over the phone.

Instead, Ben inquired as to when Hunter would be home the next day then spent the remainder of the evening trying to calm both himself and Michael. They ran through every scenario they could imagine, but came up with no real answers before falling into a fitful sleep.

^^^^^^

“Happy Anniversary,” Melanie said quietly. She was almost asleep, but she wanted to say it one more time. She was a lot more awake when Lindsay sat up and turned on the bedside light.

“Mel,” Lindsay said tentatively, handing Melanie an envelope. “I know we decided on no presents, but it isn’t from me.”

“Linds,” Melanie began to protest, but she couldn’t help but laugh when she looked over the contents of the envelope. “An Olivia Cruise. Brian can’t forget for one moment that we’re dykes, can he?”

“Brian?” Lindsay tried to sound innocent, but gave up when Melanie looked at her. “How’d you know it was him?”

“If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be this nervous about giving it to me.”

“Are you mad?”

“About spending a week with you in the sun where we can kiss and touch and play without worrying who’s watching? Hell no.”

“Oh, good.” Lindsay sat up and began eagerly sharing the details of the trip. “It’s the same week we were planning to visit Pittsburgh so we’ve already arranged for the time off, and the kids can stay with their fathers.”

“Honey, it’s late. Can we figure it all out in the morning?”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited and keeping it a secret has been killing me.” Lindsay turned out the light and curled up against Melanie’s side.

“So how did you talk him into it?” Melanie asked.

“It was Brian’s idea, actually. Are you sure you’re not mad?”

Feeling Lindsay begin to tense up, Melanie stroked her arm. “Why would I be? It’s a generous gift, and God knows we can use a vacation. I’m never going to be Brian’s biggest fan. I still think he’s an asshole half the time, and I’m never going to use his own pain as an excuse for him hurting other people, but I don’t see him as the enemy anymore.”

“I can’t tell you how good it is to hear that. I know you’ve gotten along better when he’s visited, but I thought it was just the distance.”

“That’s part of it,” Melanie admitted. “Brian’s easier to take in small doses. But it’s more than that. When we were in Pittsburgh, it was easy to blame Brian for everything, especially our problems. Then we moved up here, and I thought everything would be perfect. Don’t take this the wrong way, Linds, but it’s not.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

“It made me realize we can fuck our lives up without Brian. We can fix them without him too, and once I figured that out, he didn’t seem like such a threat anymore. He’s just Gus’s father and your friend and a guy who annoys the fuck out of me most of the time.”

“That’s good.”

Melanie waited for Lindsay to say more, but she didn’t. “Is that all?” she finally prodded.

“You were expecting more?” Lindsay sounded amused. “I’m very proud of your willingness to admit that Brian isn’t the Big Bad Wolf.”

Melanie was tempted to let it go, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about what Lindsay wasn’t saying. “Does knowing that change how you feel about staying here?”

“What are you asking? Do you mean going back to Pittsburgh?”

“Is that what you want?” Melanie didn’t know what answer she was hoping for.

“Two years ago, I would have already been packing the car. But now, I don’t know. Gus is happy in school, and this is the only home JR has ever known. It’s been hard, but I feel like we’re finally building a life here. The thought of you and Brian getting along isn’t really enough to make me give up on that.”

“Wow. I really thought you'd jump at the chance to go back.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know either,” Melanie admitted. “There are times when I think it would be easier. I always thought it would make you happier. I wouldn’t mind being back in the US, being able to practice law again.”

Lindsay laughed. “At least we can still surprise each other. So where does that leave us?”

“Here, I think. Let’s just keep building our life, but now we know that we have options. We’ll take the kids back in a few months, and we can see how we feel then.”

“Sounds like a plan. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let’s go to sleep so I can dream about you sunbathing topless while we sail the seas.” Melanie kissed Lindsay one more time before drifting off.

^^^^^^

As Ted and Jason wrapped up their second meeting, Ted tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to hold onto the illusion that he was treating Jason like any other important client, like he had nothing to feel guilty about.

There was nothing to feel guilty about, he reminded himself firmly. Dinner may have lasted several hours, but they’d done nothing more than talk. They’d never even left the restaurant. It was the late hour that left Ted relieved when he found Blake already asleep once he finally made it home, not the low level flirting they’d indulged in throughout dinner.

The flirting had continued with a greater intensity. They may not have crossed any lines the night before, but they were headed in that direction. If Ted was being honest with himself, he’d admit the butterflies had nothing to do with guilt and everything to do with anticipation.

“So, I’ll just have Brian sign these and then messenger them over to your hotel. What time does your flight leave?” Ted tried to sound businesslike.

“I was thinking of staying another night, maybe the weekend,” Jason smiled and lifted an eyebrow in question. “Would you be available to show me the city?”

“The weekend sounds promising. Should we start with dinner? I know a great Mexican restaurant.”

“Why don’t we stay in and order room service tonight?”

Ted swallowed hard and stood up. “Room service has its benefits. Nice relaxed atmosphere, very flexible, flexible timing, I mean.” Realizing he had started to babble, Ted forced himself to stop talking.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Jason stood as well, but instead of leaving, he walked toward Ted. “Just so we’re clear,” he said softly before kissing Ted.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to have Ted echoing Jason’s “Tonight” long after he’d already left Ted’s office.

It was a few hours before Ted made it to Brian’s office. Brian barely glanced at the paperwork before signing it.

“Thanks, Brian. I’ll have Cynthia messenger this to Jason.” His hand was on the door when Brian called him back.

“You’re not handling that personally? I understood you and Jason were taking a very ‘hands on’ approach to these meetings.”

While the immediate impact of Jason’s kiss had faded, the insinuation in Brian’s words was enough to make Ted blush. He tried to bluff his way out of it. “Brown Athletics is one of our most important accounts.”

“I hadn’t realized how much you’d taken some of my negotiating techniques to heart.”

“You are the best, Brian. Now I’ll just get these on their way.” Once again, Ted was a step away from freedom when Brian spoke.

“Theodore, as much as I am enjoying your attempts at evasion, you should remember that nothing happens in this office that I don’t know about. Nothing.”

Ted squared his shoulders and reminded himself that there was some truth to the saying that the best defense was a good offense. “Like I said, Brian, I learned from the best.”

“Ted, cut the bullshit. What the fuck are you doing?”

Brian looked genuinely puzzled, but Ted didn’t want to be questioned. “Getting some.”

“And what does your darling hubby have to say about that?”

“Since when do you give a fuck about my marriage or anyone else’s for that matter. You’ve never been a fan of fidelity.” Ted wasn’t going to let Brian of all people drag Blake into this.

“I don’t care about marriage Ted, but you do. You dragged me to your little ceremony, and I watched while you and Blake declared your undying love and fidelity to each other. And while I think it’s a big crock of shit, you meant every word of it. So again, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Stay out of it.”

“Oh, I’d like to, but what you forget is that I have a vested interest in the outcome of your little walk on the wild side. Otherwise I’d send you off to Jason with a few pointers. The way I see it if you actually go through with this, one of three things will happen. There’s a slim chance you tell Blake everything, and he proves to be smarter than I give him credit for by taking the opportunity to fuck some hot ex-junkie and you two rediscover the joy of variety. Most likely, he freaks and leaves you. Depressed and guilty you turn to drugs, and I lose my accountant. Or you keep your mouth shut, but eventually the guilt will get to you and you turn to drugs, and once again I’m out an accountant. Are you sensing a theme here, Ted?”

“Your concern for my well being is overwhelming. Perhaps if I choose a replacement before I fall prey to drugs, you won’t feel inconvenienced.” Ted replied sarcastically.

“That would help. Or you could get your head out of your ass and think about what getting into Jason’s ass is going to cost you before you do anything you can’t take back.”

The look of genuine concern on Brian’s face evaporated Ted’s righteous anger. His shoulders slumped. “How do you and Justin do it?”

“Monogamy? We don’t,” Brian said dismissively.

“No, I mean when you first met, Justin looked at you like you were a god. And now he probably knows you better than anyone, even Michael. How do you deal with the fact that he’ll never see you as perfect again? Don’t you ever wish you could go back to a time before he knew all your faults?”

“If I want to be worshiped, I’ll go to Babylon or down to the Art Department. I don’t need that from Justin.”

Surprised that Brian had answered him at all, Ted didn’t push for more than that brief answer. “Some of us don’t have those options. Jason’s the first person in a long time to look at me without seeing the pathetic loser I used to be. He doesn’t care about my past or why I don’t drink. All he sees is a guy he’d like to fuck. I didn’t realize how much I missed that.”

“Look, Ted, as you pointed out, I’m the last person who should be giving relationship advice. I’m all for getting your needs met, and if you need something from Jason that Blake can’t give you, I say go for it. But in this case, maybe talk to Blake first.” Brian made a face as though saying the words pained him. “Maybe he needs something else too. There’s no reason you can’t have both.”

“Thanks, Brian, I appreciate your advice.” Ted finally made it out of the office and over to Cynthia’s desk. He knew it was the coward’s way out, but he included a note with the papers letting Jason know he would be tied up that evening and for the weekend. He would need all his courage to face Blake.

^^^^^^

After Ted left, Brian looked at the clock and realized he could probably catch Justin before he left for work. “Hey,” he said once Justin answered. “Did you know, in some parallel universe, discussing third quarter profit margins is considered foreplay?”

“Would that parallel universe exist inside Kinnetik?” Justin asked, sounding both confused and amused.

“You don’t want to know. Trust me.”

“I do. Trust you and want you and miss you and. . .”

“I get the point,” Brian laughed. “I guess it’s a good thing that I’ll be there tonight.”

“A very good thing. I’ll try to be home before you get in, but you know how Miriam talks so no promises.”

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll let myself in. Later.”

“Later,” Justin repeated.

Brian set down the phone with a sigh and pulled out the fax Jennifer sent him. He looked it over three times before shoving it into his briefcase and heading to the diner.

^^^^^^

Ben and Michael were both waiting for Hunter when he came home after his last class. “Hey, dudes,” he greeted them, surprised to find them at home in the middle of the day. “What’s up?”

“Hunter, there’s something we need to talk to you about. Why don’t you sit down,” Ben began.

Hunter looked at them warily, but sat down in the armchair. “Are you two splitting up or is someone dying?” he asked with a nervous laugh.

“You’re going to wish it were something that simple.” Michael glared at Hunter before slamming the prescription bottle down on the coffee table. “Explain this.”

“Looks like a pill bottle to me.”

“Don’t get smart with me, young man. This should have been refilled months ago.”

“Well, it wasn’t.” Hunter crossed his arms defensively.

“Obviously. Now you want to fucking tell us why?” Michael’s voice rose with frustration and anger.

“No. If that’s all, I have a test to study for.” Hunter headed for the stairs, but Michael blocked his way.

“Sit the fuck down! You’re not going anywhere until you explain what the fuck was going through your pea-sized brain when you decided to stop taking your meds. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Michael!” Ben stood up and grabbed Michael’s arm. “Yelling at Hunter isn’t helping. Let me talk to him.”

Michael opened his mouth to protest, but Ben caught his eye. They looked at each other for a moment, and Ben knew Michael understood what he was asking for. Hunter stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching the exchange nervously.

Finally Michael relaxed and nodded. “Brian will be leaving soon, and I need to get some corrections for the next issue of Rage to him. I’ll just do that now.”

Ben stopped him for a kiss before he reached the door. “Thank you,” he whispered too quietly for Hunter to hear.

Once Michael left, Ben guided Hunter back into the living room. “Michael’s pretty upset, but what we both want to know is what’s going on.”

Hunter shrugged. “Nothing, I just decided not to bother with the meds.”

Ben took a deep breath and willed himself to remain calm. “You know that’s not an option. We talked about this when you were first diagnosed. You have to stick with the medication.”

“Why? My viral load is still undetectable. What’s the point in fighting a disease I don’t even really have yet?”

“It doesn’t work that way, and you know it. The risk you’re taking is enormous and unacceptable.”

“It’s better then ending up dead like Michael’s uncle. And you’ve had more problems with side effects than with anything else.”

“Without the medication I’d probably be dead by now, and that’s where you’ll be headed to if you don’t get back on track.” Ben stood up and started pacing. “This isn’t a game, Hunter; it’s your life. And I can’t help you unless you start telling me the truth, Goddammit!”

“I’m glad Michael left so we could discuss this calmly and rationally.” Hunter rolled his eyes.

“There’s nothing rational,” Ben began before the phone rang. “Fuck!”

“You might as well answer that,” Hunter said, already halfway up the stairs. “Because I don’t have anything else to say.”

Ben stood in the middle of the room, hands on his hips, glaring at the phone before the ringing got to be too much. He pasted a smile on his face. “Hello.”

“Ben, just the person I needed to talk to. It’s Emmett.”

“Hey, Emmett. What can I do for you?”

“I don’t know if Michael told you, but Bruce’s birthday is Sunday, and I’m trying to figure out what to get him.”

“I don’t know Bruce all that well,” Ben said, surprised that Emmett would want his advice. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Well, unlike little old me, Bruce is quite the reader. I was hoping you might be able to suggest a few books he’d enjoy.”

“I can try. What does he usually read?”

“Let’s see here.”

Emmett rattled off some titles while Ben tried to ignore the sound of Hunter stomping around upstairs. He wasn’t sure if he was surprised to find even in his off duty hours, Bruce enjoyed thrillers and mysteries. He was able to recommend a few good authors Bruce wouldn’t have run across at the library, but ones Ben was confident he’d enjoy.

“If you want something a little different, a friend of mine has a small bookstore that specializes in older books. I imagine he has some excellent editions of Sherlock Holmes. Let me give you the address.” Ben gave him the information, and then tried to wrap up the call.

“Ben,” Emmett interrupted hesitantly. “I don’t mean to pry, but is everything ok?”

“Thanks for asking, Emmett. It’s just some problems with Hunter.”

“Well, I‘m sure you and Michael will work it out. You two are the best fathers he could ask for.”

“It doesn’t feel that way at the moment,” Ben said ruefully.

“Just look at how far he’s come. Why, I barely recognize the scared, angry boy you and Michael first took in. No one could have done better.”

Emmett’s words sparked something in Ben’s mind. “Thanks Emmett. I think you may have helped me more than I helped you.”

^^^^^^

Brian was in a meeting when Michael got to Kinnetik so he left everything with Cynthia and headed to the diner. He took a seat at the counter and asked the new waiter for coffee and a lemon bar. Debbie was the one to bring it out.

“Sweetheart! What a nice surprise. I don’t usually see you in the afternoon.”

“If that’s your way of telling me I’ve been neglecting you, I don’t want to hear it,” Michael snapped.

“OK, let’s try this again. Hey asshole, here’s your grub. Don’t forget to leave a tip. That better?” Debbie crossed her arms and gave Michael ‘the look.’

“Sorry, Ma.” Michael considered himself lucky to have gotten off without a smack to the head.

“Don’t ‘sorry Ma’ me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Hunter, I can’t believe, I mean what is he thinking?” Michael sighed in frustration. “How did you not kill me before I reached thirty?”

“Thirty! Honey, if it wasn’t for restraint and a healthy fear of prison, you’d have never made it to twenty. And just think, in a few years you’ll have JR driving you crazy too.”

“Don’t sound so happy about it,” Michael grumbled.

“Every parent lives for the day their children begin to understand what hell they put them through.”

“I’m sorry I never realized how much it hurt you to watch me fuck up.”

Debbie’s eyes softened, and she gave Michael a loud kiss on the forehead. “That is why you are a wonderful parent. There’s nothing harder than watching your kid mess up and get hurt especially when you can see the pain coming from a mile away. But all you can do is stand on the sidelines and hope for the best. Don’t look at me like that. I may have encouraged loudly while standing on the sidelines, but trust me I felt helpless.”

“I love you, Mom.”

”I love you too, Michael, but if I don’t get table three their early bird special, there’s going to be a riot.”

When Debbie came back, Michael noticed she seemed to be moving a little slow. “You ok, Ma?”

“Just tired, Baby.”

“You were here this morning too. Why are you still working?”

“Double shift today. Only a few hours left.”

Michael’s eyes narrowed as he thought back. “You worked a double on Monday and one last week too. What’s going on?”

“Carl’s being forced into early retirement next month because of budget cuts, and his pension’s not what it used to be. I’m just picking up an extra shift here and there.”

“Ma, if you guys need money, Ben and I can help.”

“We’ll be fine. Thank God he’ll still have his benefits. That new cholesterol pill he takes is a fucking miracle, but it costs an arm and a leg. Carl’s looking for some security work too.”

“You should be thinking about retirement yourself, not working yourself to death.”

Debbie rolled her eyes. “I’m not too old to pull my own weight around here, thank you very much. And I tried retirement once. This place and I need each other. Everything will be fine, don’t you worry.” Debbie patted his cheek and headed back to the kitchen.

“Easier said than done,” Michael mumbled under his breath as she walked away.

^^^^^^

Ben heard the music as soon as he hit the landing. He knocked on Hunter’s door, but there was no response. “Come on, pal, you know we have to talk,” he called, knocking louder.

After a moment, the music stopped. Ben took that as an invitation and opened the door to find Hunter slouched against the headboard, knees pulled up in a classic defensive posture. Ben joined him on the bed and rested a hand on his knee. “Hunter, I’m sorry I yelled before. I promise to do a better job of listening.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Hunter shook his head. “I already told you everything.”

“We both know that was just an excuse. Tell me the real reason you’ve stopped taking your medication.” When Hunter remained silent and looked away, Ben began again. “I know being positive isn’t easy, and it’s something a lot of people don’t understand. But it won’t go away if you ignore it.”

“I know that. I’m not stupid.”

Then stop acting like it, Ben wanted to yell, but he didn’t. Thinking again about Emmett’s words, he tried a different approach. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know that too,” Hunter interrupted. “Christ, if there’s one thing you and Michael have convinced me of it’s that.”

“Then what?” Ben asked quietly once again at a loss.

“What do you think about when you take your meds in the morning?” Hunter finally asked.

Ben thought about it before answering. “Not much really. They’re just part of my day. I’m usually too busy trying to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything to even think about them.”

“Did you ever think about him?”

“Paul, you mean? I did in the beginning when I was still angry and blamed him. Taking the pills was a reminder of what he’d done to me, and I clung to that resentment for a long time. But once I forgave him, it stopped being about him and was just about my own health.” Realizing at last where this was going, Ben took his son’s hand.

“Well I don’t exactly have one person to forgive do I?” Hunter said bitterly. “I used to wonder every morning about who gave it to me. Was it one of the quiet guys or someone who liked it rough? Did he pay extra for fucking me raw or did he just fucking demand it? Or was it some loser who paid me in weed instead of cash?”

“Jesus, Hunter, I’m so sorry,” Ben wished Michael were there. He might yell, but he also knew how to comfort.

“I don’t want you to be sorry; I want you to understand. I didn’t do this on purpose. I was running late one day and just forgot. When I went to take them the next morning, I realized I’d gone a whole day without thinking about them or what I’d done. A whole day without remembering. And it felt nice. So I put the bottle back and tried it again. After a few days, I didn’t even think about taking the bottles out.” Hunter had looked away again, but his fingers tightened around Ben’s.

Ben pulled him into an awkward hug. “You know if there was any way Michael and I could change the past for you. Any. Way. We’d do it in a heartbeat. At the same time, we love you exactly as you are.”

Hunter stayed in his arms for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping his eyes. “I know.”

“We’ll find a way to deal with this, pal. I promise. But risking your health and your life is not the way.”

Hunter nodded. Ben stood up knowing Hunter would want some privacy, but there was one more thing they needed to talk about. “I hate to ask this, but have you put anyone else at risk?”

“Hell no,” Hunter replied immediately. “I would never do that no matter how stupid I act. It’s just been me and my hand since Megan and I split six months ago.”

“OK,” Ben nodded. “I’m going to go see what we have for dinner.”

 

^^^^^^
 

Even rumpled and clearly annoyed, the sight of Brian on his couch was enough to make Justin’s heart race. “Hey, you made good time.”

“I got out early and beat the traffic,” Brian shrugged. “You know if you’re going to make me drive your easel here, you could have at least helped me drag it up three flights of stairs.”

“I told you I had a meeting,” Justin reminded Brian as he made his way to the couch. A quick glance around the room told him Brian had set the easel up exactly where he’d wanted it. “Besides, I’ll make it up to you.” He leaned down and gave Brian a long kiss.

“You’d better,” Brian said, his mouth lingering on Justin’s as he reached for hands.

Justin stepped back and shook his head. “I have a surprise. Follow me.” He walked to his small bedroom, swaying his hips just enough to draw Brian’s attention to his ass.

“What have you got in there, Sunshine? Mirrors on the ceiling? Clean sheets?”

“Very funny. Close your eyes.” Justin stripped quickly then got up on the bed on his hands and knees. “Open them,” he commanded huskily.

He could feel Brian’s eyes on him, heard the quick breath that let him know Brian knew what the surprise was. “Do you like your present?” Justin asked, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Who called you? Emmett or Michael?”

“Does it matter?” Justin wiggled his ass.

“I guess not.”

Justin heard rustling sounds that let him know Brian was removing his own clothing. Then it was his turn to gasp when he felt Brian’s fingers tracing his slick hole before pressing in and pushing the plug against his prostate. “I jerked off thinking about you when I put it in. I could feel it the whole time Miriam was talking. I let her drone on and on while I thought about you touching me like this.”

“I wish I’d been there. I would have reached under the table and cupped your dick like this,” Brain grabbed his cock and gave it a hard squeeze. “Then you would have pushed back in your chair, and the plug would have gone in deeper, just like this.”

Brian pushed against the plug again, and Justin’s cock twitched in his hand. The mattress dipped as Brian came up behind Justin on the bed. Justin felt the heat from Brian’s body as he leaned over him. He shivered when he felt Brian’s breath against his ear.

“You like that, Justin? My hand on your dick while the plug fills your ass? I’m going to make you come like that.”

Brain’s hand was slick when he brought it back to Justin’s cock. He stroked it roughly while teasing Justin’s hole with his other hand. Just as Justin was ready to beg, Brian pressed hard against the plug, and Justin came with a shout.

Before he could catch his breath, the plug was removed and Brian’s cock was filling him. Brian’s hands gripped his hips, holding him up while Brian pounded into his ass. Pleasure almost too intense to bear, pulsed through his body as Brian hit his prostate setting off aftershocks from his orgasm.

“Fuck, Justin,” Brian ground out as he thrust in sharply and found his own release.

“I told Emmett a butt plug was the perfect gift for any occasion,” Brian laughed, once they’d collapsed in a sweaty heap.

“I’ll remember that at Christmastime. And Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Good Friday, Arbor Day, National Safety Week. . .” Justin continued until Brian shut him up with a kiss.

 

^^^^^^
 

“Where’s Hunter?” Michael asked when he came home to a quiet house and found Ben sitting on the couch staring off into space.

“I sent him for pizza.”

“Is everything ok?” Michael sat next to Ben and tried not to let his worry show.

“Yes, no.”

“Well, I’m glad you cleared that up.”

“It will be, I think, but how did we forget Michael, how much damage Hunter’s childhood has done to him? How do we not remember to take extra care with him?”

“We do, Ben. But we can’t fix everything. Sometimes all we can do is stand on the sidelines and hope he hears us yelling encouragement.” At Ben’s puzzled look, Michael laughed. “I stopped at the diner and talked to Ma.”

Ben nodded as though that explained everything. “I’m glad you’re here to yell with me.”

“Me, too.” Michael agreed. He would tell Ben about Carl’s retirement and his concern over Debbie’s workload later. For the moment they had more than enough to worry about. He rested his head against Ben’s and sat quietly with him while they waited for Hunter to come home.
 

^^^^^^
 

Blake looked up from the paper and smiled when Ted walked in the door. “Hey, I missed you last night. Everything go alright with your client?”

“He kissed me,” Ted said without preamble, then cursed himself for his lack of tact.

“OK?” Blake dragged the word out as though he was trying to figure out how to respond.

Ted sat down heavily in the chair across from Blake. “The dinner with the client was more flirting than working. And this morning he kissed me. He wanted more than that, and so did I. At least I think I did. I’m so sorry.” Ted covered his face with his hands.

“Ted, why don’t you start at the beginning?”

“The details aren’t important. What matters is I almost fucked everything up for a quick fuck.”

“But you didn’t,” Blake said quietly. “Ted, something has been bothering you for a while. You haven’t been going to meetings.”

“I’m sick of meetings!” Ted burst out. “I’m sick of meetings and confessions and sharing every dirty little secret I have.”

“It’s part of the process and vital to recovery. You know that.”

Blake sounded so calm and professional. Somehow that made Ted angrier. “Well maybe I’ve just had enough. Jason didn’t care about my past. He didn’t need my truth before he fucked me. He didn’t see an addict when he looked at me.”

“Is that what you need?”

“Yes!” Ted shouted. “But I need that from you, and we can’t ever have that again.”

“Do you think I see an addict when I look at you?”

“What else can you see when you know what I was, what I’ve done? When I have to tell you everything? How can you forget for one second the mess I made of my life when it never ends? There’s always more.” Ted took a breath and tried to compose himself. “I was walking back from Woody’s with Emmett the other night, and I don’t know if was the angle of light or a smell, but I looked down this alley, and I remembered. I remember walking home towards the end when things were really bad. I need another score, just one more hit to get me through the night, but I was out of money. I ran into a guy I knew from the parties and asked him for a hit. He said no problem as long as I got down on my knees and sucked him. And I did. I sucked him off in that alley and begged when he told me to, all for one lousy hit.”

Ted hadn’t realized he was crying until Blake took him in his arms and kissed his tears.

“Oh, Ted, is that why you’ve been avoiding meetings? Avoiding me?”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to think of that every time you looked at me.”

“Let me tell you a story. After I left rehab, things got pretty bad. My family disowned me because they couldn’t take any more. Except for my grandma. I went to see her one day early in the morning before the shakes were too bad. I tried to clean up and look nice although I’m sure it was obvious I was still using. I told her I was going back to school, and she believed me or at least she pretended to. She gave me fifty dollars for books, but when she went to make coffee, I took her wedding ring off the piano where she always set it. It was the only piece of jewelry my grandfather gave her, and I took it because fifty dollars wasn’t enough. It wasn’t worth much at the pawn shop, and I was pissed at her for that too. Once I got clean, I bought it back, but when I went to return it, I found out she had died. The last time she saw me, I stole her most prized possession because I wanted more drugs.”

“Oh, Blake.” Ted didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve shared that before at meetings but not with you. It’s probably my deepest shame, and I didn’t want you to know how low I really sank. So I understand how you feel.”

Ted looked at Blake and his heart ached for the pain he’d been through. And just like that he understood. “Blake, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We have so much trouble forgiving ourselves that it can be hard to believe anyone else will forgive us. But remember that there is nothing you can tell me that will make me love you any less. But also remember, I’m your husband now not your counselor. As important as it is to go to meetings and to share what you remember, you don’t have to do it with me. As long as you do it.”

Ted nodded. “We’ll be ok, won’t we?” he asked relaxing at last into Blake’s embrace.

“Always, Ted,” Blake reassured him.

^^^^^^

Emmett hadn’t realized it was still so early until Carl opened the door in his bathrobe.

“Sorry,” Carl said, pulling the edges together. “Wasn’t expecting anyone but the paperboy on Saturday morning.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Emmett waved away Carl’s embarrassment and headed for the kitchen. “Debbie at the diner?”

“When isn’t she? Never mind,” Carl said when Emmett started to ask what that meant. “What can I do for you?”

Emmett busied himself making coffee. Carl always made it too weak. “Well since you introduced me to Bruce, I was hoping you might be able to help me decide on his birthday present.”

“I brought him home for dinner because we were working late. I wasn’t playing matchmaker.”

“That’s what you say, Carl, but I have my doubts. You never brought any other cops home for dinner, just one hunky gay one. Not that I don’t appreciate it,” Emmett said with a wink. “Now back to Bruce’s birthday.”

“We only worked that one case together.” Carl took the mug from Emmett. “Birthday gifts were never a topic of conversation.”

“I didn’t expect him to give you a list, but you know what cops like.”

“Cops aren’t all alike, Emmett. We don’t want procedure manuals and handcuffs. Forget I said that,” Carl winced.

Emmett nodded. If Carl was as uncomfortable with the mental image of what he and Bruce might do with handcuffs as he was with the unfortunate memory of what Carl and Debbie did with handcuffs, the less said the better. “You might not be exactly the same, but don’t you have some sort of special bond. Brothers in blue and all that?”

“Sure, on the job. But that’s just part of who we are. Some guys are cops twenty-four seven, but most of us, and I’m guessing Bruce too, like to put the job aside when we go home. At least as much as we can. Besides, I might know about being a cop, but I don’t know anything about being black or being gay.”

“Well after living with Debbie and me, I’d argue you know more about being gay than some of the guys I’ve dated, but I think I get your point.”

“What I’m trying to say, Emmett, is I know part of who Bruce is, but you know all of him. No one is better equipped to pick out his present than you.”

“You’re a wise man, Carl Horvath. I’d say Debbie is lucky to have you, but she’s one hell of a woman so I’ll say you two deserve each other.” Emmett kissed Carl on the cheek. “Don’t get up; I know the way out. And Carl, I’ll be by next week to give you a pedicure.”
 

^^^^^^

Brian had almost fallen back asleep when drops of water hit his chest. He opened his eyes as Justin climbed back into bed. “You really need a shower big enough for two.”

“At least I let you go first. You should remember that cold showers don’t benefit either of us before you use all the hot water.”

“Your mother called me last week.”

“Is she bitching about Molly’s birthday again? I told her I have a show right after, and there’s no way I can get back to Pittsburgh.”

“She has a buyer for the house,” Brian interjected before Justin could really get going.

“I didn’t know you had the house on the market,” Justin said quietly.

“We don’t. She has a buyer who’s looking for something like that. Despite the economy, it’s a good offer.”

“Do you need the money?”

“We don’t need the money.” Justin’s insistence on keeping their finances separate was understandable. But the house had always been in both their names, and his refusal to acknowledge that frustrated Brian. “It’s not about the money.”

“I know. I hate to think of the house sitting there empty. If it’s a good offer maybe we should think about it.”

“It doesn’t have to sit empty. I’ve told you before we can stay there for a weekend or something.”

“No, when we go there I want it to be because we live there. It’s not just a house. Staying there should be a promise or something.”

Brian nodded. They’d had this conversation before. “And if we sell it?”

“I don’t mean that.” Justin leaned over and kissed him fiercely. “It’s just I thought we might be there by now, or at least somewhere together.”

“You know that won’t be here,” Brian admitted quietly. The still depressed economy made an expansion to New York impossible.

“I know. Fucking Republicans.”

“Not where I can see them,” Brian retorted.

“I want to be able to say in a year or two or something we’ll be in the house. But I can’t. Some days I feel like it will be soon, but other days I realize how much I still have to do.”

“So what do you want?”

“I want to be with you. Here, now, always. I want to live with you again. Soon, maybe, I think.”

“Glad you cleared that up,” Brian couldn’t help but laugh. “I meant about the house.”

“How good is the offer?”

“Not that good. Not good enough.”

“Ok, good.” Justin relaxed and smiled. “So we keep the house and someday.”

“Someday,” Brian agreed. They had this after all, and the rest was only time.

^^^^^^

 

Debbie worked the early shift on Monday, but the boys’ booth remained empty. Michael and Ben were at the doctor with Hunter. Emmett had indeed found the perfect gift for Bruce, and they lingered in bed as long as possible before heading to work. Ted and Blake were both at meetings. And Brian had extended his trip to New York by a day.

^^^^^^
 

It was late Monday night when Brian made it back to the loft. Justin picked up the phone on the first ring.

“You made it back ok?” he asked anxiously.

“Yes, dear. I’m still in one piece.”

“Good ‘cause I have plans for all your pieces. I should let you get to bed. See you in a few weeks.”

“Yeah,” Brian was reluctant to break the connection. “The flights are already booked. No driving this time. I’ll try and work in another weekend before you come home.” Justin wouldn’t be back to Pittsburgh until the week of Gus’s visit.

Brian rummaged through his desk while he reviewed the schedule for the next few months with Justin. He finally found the file he kept on possible renovations to the house. He flipped through it quietly long after Justin hung up.

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