Six Kisses That Changed Everything

Author's Notes:  written for qaf_scavenger's Kissing Contest. Six drabbles for six kisses.

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Justin will never forget the first time he and Brian kissed. It wasn’t his first kiss, but that’s how he thinks of it. Not because it was the first time he kissed another man, but because it was the first time he understood what a kiss could be.

The second their lips met his life changed forever. He felt like his whole life had been leading him to that moment. Everything he’d dreamed of and feared, everything he desired and longed for suddenly made sense. He was frozen in place yet somehow free, both terrified and enthralled. It was perfect.
 

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Brian licked his lips and tasted blood. It wasn’t his. His mind went blank, unable to comprehend what it meant. He remembered kissing Justin-his mouth, his hands, his hair. He’d kissed Justin while pleading with him to open his eyes. He’d kissed him in the ambulance when, despite the needles and the wail of the siren, Justin remained still and unresponsive. He kissed him one more time before they forced him away. Brian remembered every kiss, but he didn’t remember the blood. Then he looked at his hands and the scarf around his neck and wondered how he could forget.

 

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Justin pressed another poster against the wall and shivered. It was cold and dark, and he couldn’t help wishing he was at the loft fucking his brains out instead of freezing his ass off. But someone had to do this. He wondered if Brian had missed him at Babylon. Brian might not like what he was doing, might not approve or understand, but Justin knew he wouldn’t really try and stop him. Justin told himself it was enough.

Then Brian joined him, kissing him instead of cursing him, and Justin realized how good it felt not to be fighting alone.

 

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Even after Justin forced his way back in, Brian tried to hide the ugliest of cancer’s effect. He scheduled treatments when Justin had class, and by the time Justin came over, he could manage a smile and pretend he hadn’t been praying for death.

But that could only last so long. The first time Justin found him sprawled on the bathroom floor, too weak to move, he helped him back to bed. Then he kissed him, shoving his tongue into a mouth Brian knew was rancid and disgusting without word or a moment’s hesitation, and Brian realized dignity was overrated.

 

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Brian Kinney didn’t believe in love or marriage. Justin knew this. Those beliefs were the foundation of Brian’s life, constant and unwavering. Justin no longer hoped that might someday change; he knew better.

Yet somehow he was standing in the house Brian bought for him, saying yes to a proposal he never even dreamed of. It was so surreal it almost felt like a bad joke. Then they kissed, and when Brian held him, he felt the relief and joy in his embrace. Justin knew then this was the most real and right thing either of them had ever done.

 

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Brian waited outside Justin’s studio for an hour even once a light rain began falling. When Justin finally came out, he didn’t even pretend to be surprised. He just smiled and stepped into Brian’s arms.

They kissed in the rain, lips soft and open, tongues slipping easily into each other’s mouths.

“I thought you’d hold out for at least a month,” Justin said once they pulled apart.

A thousand sarcastic replies ran through Brian’s mind, but he could still taste Justin on his lips. He didn’t say a word, just kissed him again before the rain could wash it away.
 

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