Love is a Rage

I heard footsteps behind me as I walked away from Babylon with Ethan. For a second it sounded like Brian. But that was stupid. Brian doesn't chase after people. Then I heard his voice.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

I turned around and found him standing in front of me. He was slightly out of breath and he had the strangest expression on his face. I can't really explain it. Then I remembered another time he came after me, when we danced in the street after Pride. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten that. When he asked me to dance, that's the expression he had on his face. I didn't know what to say so I kept it simple. "Leaving."

"Don't go." Was all he said.

I raised an eyebrow at him. He needed to give me more than that. I wanted to be sure of what was going on. I felt Ethan pulling at my hand, but I ignored him. He didn't exist at that moment. Nothing did, but Brian.

"I want you to stay."

I didn't say anything; I couldn't. He wasn't talking about the party. We both knew that. I let go of Ethan's hand and moved into Brian's arms. He held me close, and I knew. I knew that this was where I belonged, that he was home to me. Still I stayed silent, just listening to the sound of Brian's heartbeat.

At some point, Ethan must have walked away. I never noticed. He didn't say anything either. I guess we were all learning that sometimes you don't need words.

Finally Brian pulled back and whispered in my ear. "Let's go home."

I don't remember the ride back to the loft. Actually, the first thing I remember is being naked on the bed. Brian was all over me. God, he was practically devouring me. I loved it. His hands and mouth were everywhere. He ran his tongue along the outside of my ear and I shivered in anticipation. He traced a long, slow, sensuous path down my whole body with his tongue. He started along the side of my throat, down my chest and abdomen, over one hip bone. I stiffened slightly when he reached my inner thigh, but he kept going.

He finally stopped with a smile when he reached the inside of my ankle. But before I could catch my breath, he moved his mouth to my other ankle. He traveled the alternate path back up my body this time with small wet kisses and gentle love bites. By the time he reached my mouth, I was practically vibrating from pleasure, and he hadn't even touched my cock yet.

Every time I had reached for Brian, he pushed my hands away. I knew what this was about. He wanted me to know that I was his. But I was never very good at being passive. So while we were kissing, I began running my hands over his body. First in long, sweeping strokes designed to just heighten his awareness. I ran my hands through his hair, across his back, his chest, his arms, anywhere I could reach. I knew he liked it when he started moving his tongue in and out of my mouth in rhythm with my hands. Then I pulled my mouth away from his and began kissing my way down his chest. He gasped when I started licking and sucking his nipples. I reached my hands down between us for his cock. I loved feeling it stretch in my hand. I loved the smooth heat of his skin there. I stroked the length of him with one hand and gently massaged his balls with the other. I felt his heart speed up under my mouth.

"Justin, stop. I want to cum inside of you."

I smiled and reached blindly for the lube and a condom. We were both breathing heavily by this point. A few seconds later I felt Brian slide a lubed finger inside of me. I arched off the bed when he added a second and began slowly, teasingly stretching me open for him. When I thought I would die from the pleasure, he pulled his hand away and opened the condom. I took it from him and very carefully smoothed it over his cock. I traced my fingers over it a few times to make sure it was properly in place. I was rewarded by watching Brian close his eyes and lay his head back in bliss. I moved to roll over, but he stopped me.

"Don't. I want to look at you. I want you to see me." he murmured while moving my legs onto his shoulders. He positioned himself against me and reached for my hands before entering me with one deep thrust.

We both paused for a minute. Trying to gain some semblance of control, but it was useless. He began moving inside of me. Long, smooth strokes that increased in speed as we desperately tried to get closer. I put my hands on his back and tried to push him farther inside of me. I wanted more. I just needed more of him. He was glistening with sweat and I leaned up to lick it off his neck. I loved the salty taste of him. His hand closed over my cock and I knew he was close, and he wanted me to cum with him. I felt a flush come over my whole body. I pulled his mouth down over mine and shoved my tongue inside. I reveled in the feeling when he responded in kind. This was what I needed. His cock buried deep inside of me, his tongue in my mouth. I could feel him in every part of me. I felt him start to cum, and I just let go. Everything hit at once. I didn't exist outside of this amazing pleasure and him.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. Bodies still entwined, just trying to breathe. Finally Brian pulled away, and we took a few minutes to clean up.

He pulled me back into his arms and we went to sleep that way. Wrapped around each other without another word being spoken.

I woke up the next morning to someone knocking on the door. Then I heard Michael's voice calling Brian's name. "Dear God." I groaned as I rolled over and tried to nudge Brian awake.

He opened one eye and muttered, "He'll go away if I ignore him."

I gave him a look that told him what I thought of that theory. He must have understood because he laughed and headed for the door. I heard him stop long enough to put a pair of pants on. He must have found the ones from last night. I have no idea where our clothes ended up. Since Michael wasn't here to see me, I decided to stay in bed.

I heard the door open. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian asked.

"I wanted to make sure you were all right. After what happened last night." I could hear the eagerness in Michael's voice as he rushed in to play the loyal best friend. I know he loves Brian, but he annoys the hell out of me sometimes.

"Nothing happened last night. I'm fine."

"Don't pretend with me, Brian. I was there. I saw the ungrateful little shit leave with what's his name. After everything you've done for him, I can't believe he'd walk out on you. Holy shit! What the hell happened here?"

I could tell by their voices they had moved farther into the loft. I guess I know where our clothes ended up. Everywhere.

Brian laughed a little before answering, "We were in a bit of a hurry last night."

"We? You brought someone home. Good for you."

Before Brian could respond, my cell phone starting ringing. "Shit." I whispered as I tried to find it.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Michael asked.

"No, Justin will."

"Justin!" Michael practically shrieked as I finally found my phone.

"Hello." I heard my mother's voice. "Mom, I'm going to put you hold for a minute." I pressed the mute button. There was no way I was going to miss the rest of their conversation.

"Yes, Justin. Who the hell else would it be?"

"Anyone else! He left you, for God's sake." Michael was still yelling.

"He left the party, that's all. Anything else you think happened didn't.

Besides, it's none of your business. I'm fine; Justin's fine; everyone is fine. Now go along your merry way. Maybe we'll see you at the diner later."

While Brian herded Michael out the door, I picked my phone back up. "Hey, Mom. What's up?"

"Honey, where are you? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, and I'm still at home. It's barely ten o'clock."

"Home? You mean the loft?"

I rolled my eyes. You'd think she'd been talking to Michael. "Yes the loft. Where else would I be?"

"But you left with that other boy last night. And you seemed so unhappy."

"I left at the same time as him, not with him. I know I've been moody lately, but everything is OK now. I promise."

"Are you sure, honey? You could tell me if there was something wrong."

I saw Brian coming back into the room so I wanted to finish this. "Mom, I'm fine. I have to go now. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hung up and tossed the phone onto the table.

Brian sat down next to me, and I leaned against him. "I'm sorry." I told him.

He looked a little surprised, "For what?"

"Making everyone think I left you. For being so stupid lately."

"Doesn't matter. Are you glad you came back?"

"Always." I smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

"I can't offer you more than this." He said a few minutes later.

I shook my head, "You don't need to. I just needed to be sure you were offering. But try not to fight this so much. This, us, whatever, isn't the enemy."

"I'll try. You can't hide from me anymore either."

I knew what he meant. He may have hurt me, but I ran away. "Never again."

We had just stepped into the shower when he spoke again, "You didn't let me finish. What I said before. I can't offer you more, yet. But someday." Then he gave me this small almost shy smile that totally melted me.

I swear he had no idea what he does to me. With that one look, I knew how much he loved me. I had no words for what I was feeling so I decided to show him. I worshiped his entire body. I slowly massaged shampoo through his hair while kissing his neck. Then I began washing every inch of him. Following the trails of soap as they washed off his body with my lips and tongue. I knelt down behind him and pushed his legs apart. I took my time washing each leg from his foot to his hip. His breath picked up when I put my head between his legs and I felt him lean against the shower wall. I placed my tongue on the tip of his cock, then ran it along the underside, over his balls, until I reached his hole.

I looked up briefly to make sure Brian was OK with this and saw him rest his forehead against the tiles. I smiled and parted his cheeks to give me better access. I made lazy circles around it and pressed against but never into him.

I loved the combination of soap and him in my mouth. Finally, I thrust my tongue inside of him. I explored him gently, swirling my tongue inside of him. It was pure heaven. I wrapped my hand around his cock and began stroking him with my fingers and my tongue. I kept up a steady pace until I felt him shudder and shoot in the stream of water. I kissed my way up his back and rested my head between his shoulders. I laid my hands against his chest so I could feel his heart pounding. We stayed like that until his breathing returned to normal.

When he turned around, he had a predatory gleam in his eye. "Your turn."

He pushed me back against the wall and began kissing his way down my body. I grabbed his hair for balance when he pulled my nipple ring into his mouth and started tugging on it. I held my breath as he neared my cock. I was already so turned on from what I did to him, I knew I wouldn't last long. He licked around the head and gently blew over the tip. Shivers ran up my spine, and I silently begged him to finish this. After a few more minutes of teasing, he pulled the whole thing into his mouth. I thought I would die right then. He slowly pulled his lips down until he almost reached the tip before engulfing my entire cock again. He kept this motion up until I screamed my release.

Brian smiled and led me back under the water where we finally finished our shower.

We walked into the diner unnoticed. Emmett, Ted, Lindsay, and Melanie were huddled in a booth with Debbie standing off to the side holding a sleeping Gus. I could only imagine what they were discussing. Brian motioned for me to be quiet as we approached.

"Well, Justin finally did it. I can't say I blame him. I don't know how he's put up with Brian as long as he has." I heard Ted say.

Lindsay chimed in, in Brian's defense of course, "What about poor Brian? I know he hurt Justin, but for all of us to see him leave like that."

"It certainly was an interesting night."

Brian decided to make our presence known, "What can I say Melanie. I throw one hell of a party."

We were greeted by a chorus of shocked "Brian's. They all looked a little guilty about being caught talking about us. Once they saw me standing behind him, dumbfounded is the best word I can use to describe their expressions.

Debbie recovered first, "Sunshine?"

"Morning." was all I said as I sat down next to Lindsay. Brian smirked at me and pushed Ted over on the other side. "So, how is everyone today?" he asked in a falsely cheerful voice.

It was pretty amusing to watch them fall over themselves to make normal conversation. Since we were both there, no one knew what to say. Alone we would have each been subject to the third degree, but with us together no one knew how to broach the subject.

Eventually Debbie had enough of the avoidance, "So what the fuck is up with you two? Last night I would have put money on you never speaking again. And today you walk in here like nothing ever happened."

I decided to let Brian field this one since he had more experience dealing with them.

"Nothing did happen, Deb. You all let your imaginations run away with you.

Just because we left the party at different times, doesn't mean we didn't go home together."

"Different times?" Ted asked in obvious disbelief. "You left with different people. I mean Justin you left with, well you left with someone who wasn't Brian. And Brian, I don't know who you left with. But I'm sure it was someone who wasn't Justin."

Emmett put a hand on Ted's shoulder, "Teddy, stop. You're making it worse."

I rolled my eyes before answering, "Ted, I walked Ethan out of the party. Then I met up with Brian, and we went home. End of story. So what is everybody doing later?"

We made it through the rest of breakfast with nothing more than a few confused and concerned looks. Then Brian and I had the nicest day. We didn't do anything special. Just kind of hung out together until we met the boys at Babylon later.

Brian had gone to get a drink when Emmett twirled his way over to me. "I'm so glad you two are back on track." I must have looked puzzled because he continued, "Oh, come on. I can tell just by the way you look at each other. All the questions are gone from your eyes. And Brian." he put his hand over his heart and smiled. "When Brian looks at you, a wee bit more of his guard has been let down."

Sometimes Emmett knows exactly what to say. "You think so?" I asked.

"Definitely. He's getting there, baby. Just be patient."

"Thanks." I would have said more, but I heard a growled "Emmett" behind me.

Emmett's hands were removed from my shoulders and more familiar arms wrapped around me from behind. "Let's dance." Brian whispered in my ear.

I wouldn't exactly call what we did dancing. More like a public prelude to sex. Brian grabbed my ass and rubbed our cocks against each other. I ran my tongue along the hollow of his throat, his collarbone, whatever was closest.

The song finally ended and Brian said to me, "I want to take you home and fuck you all night." My only response was to practically drag him out of Babylon.

I had his shirt off in the elevator and he had my pants undone. This was all about possession. There was no time for gentleness. We used our teeth instead of lips, hands clawed instead of caressed. Once again we found ourselves naked in the bed. Brian's entire body was pressed up against me. I couldn't stop touching him. Our mouths collided while we pulled and squeezed each other's sensitive spots. I kissed the side of his face and dragged my teeth over his ear lope. He kneaded my inner thighs brushing his knuckles against my balls.

I rolled over onto my stomach and pressed the lube and condom into his hand.

He quickly prepared us both and drove his cock into me. He groaned when I clenched my muscles around him and tried to pull him in deeper. He moved quickly, each thrust increasing the heat and intensity. I pushed up to meet him every time. He placed one hand over mine for leverage and nipped at the back of my neck. I felt my chest constrict when his fingers, still slick with lube, began sliding over my cock. I twisted my head around so I could reach his mouth. Biting his lips, sucking his tongue into my mouth. The pleasure seemed to go on forever. Pushing us both higher and higher until there was nowhere left to go. We came together, moaning our releases into each other's mouth.

Later, we laid tangled in each other's arms. "I love you." I whispered. I had never felt closer to Brian, and I had to tell him. I felt him start to move away from me. I stroked my hand along his face to stop him. "Shh. Don't say anything. I know how you feel about me. You told me everything I needed to know last night. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you."

I felt him relax again. "Thank you." was all he said. Then he kissed me one last time before we fell asleep.

rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage~rage

The sound of the door opening brings me back to the present. I can't help smiling as Brian approaches already taking his clothes off. "Hey."

"Hey." he answers before kissing me softly. "What's going on?"

"Look what came today." I hand him a plastic wrapped package and watch his eyes light up. God, I love him.

"The tenth anniversary edition of Rage. Wow. Have you talked to Mikey?"

I roll my eyes, "Of course. He's already called me like ten times. I'm surprised he didn't call you."

"He probably did, but I had meetings all day. I didn't check my messages before I left." He laughs a little at my knowing look. "I was in a hurry to get home, OK?"

"Michael wants us to meet him at Woody's later. To celebrate. He's calling everyone else."

"Sure." He looks at the comic book for a minute before setting it down and pulling me into his arms. "Ten years and still going strong. Who would have thought?"

He's not talking about Rage anymore. "I always knew. Are you glad?"

"I'm proud as fucking hell." he says before kissing me practically senseless.

"So, when do we have to be at Woody's?"

"Not for a few hours yet." I entwine my fingers with his and can feel myself beaming.

"So we have time for a private celebration?" he asks already pulling me toward the bedroom.

I lick my lips before answering. "Oh yeah." my voice comes out breathless. No one will care if we're late. Hell, they probably expect it. I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone.

**Title taken from one of my favorite Erasue songs Love is The Rage.

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