TiIl the Lights Go Down in New York City

Author's Notes: This fic was written for badbadpixie as part of the qaf_giftxchnge Summer Quickie.

Title taken from the Erasure song "You Surround Me."

Special thanks to vl_redreign for her beta work and xie_xie_xie for her technical assistance.

* * *

Brian crept down the stairs from the loft he and Michael were sharing. He couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t want to wake up Michael or, even worse, Debbie. It was too hot in the loft to just lay there; he’d get a drink and sit outside for a while. Brian fingered the joint in his pocket and relaxed a little just thinking about smoking it.

Three days in the Poconos, and Brian was starting to go stir crazy. It was too quiet, and there was nothing to do. Nothing, but the lame ass activities Debbie planned. She made them go on nature walks, and there were scavenger hunts, for Christ sake. She treated Mikey like he was still a little kid, and Mikey couldn’t say no to her. Not that Brian was complaining. No matter how many stupid things Debbie made him do, being here was a hundred times better than being back in Pittsburgh. Wincing when breathing too deeply made his ribs ache, Brian admitted that even with sing-a-longs and giant mosquitoes, there was nowhere else he’d rather be right now.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he noticed there was a light on in the living room. Brian stopped; he couldn’t get to the kitchen or the back porch without going through the living room, but he didn’t want to talk to Debbie. Then he realized the person sitting on the couch wasn’t Debbie. It must her brother, Michael’s famous Uncle Vic.

Michael’s famous gay Uncle Vic. Debbie made sure Brian knew about that. One of the first times he’d come over for dinner, she’d defrosted a cake he’d made for dessert. “Good, isn’t it?” she’d said. “My brother Vic baked it. Gay as the day is long, and the best pastry chef in New York.”

“Ma,” Michael had yelped, his face bright red. “You can’t tell people that!”

“Why? Do you see your grandmother or aunt in the room?” Debbie made a show of looking around. “Me either, and in my house I’ll say what I want about my brother. I’m proud of him, and you should be too. In this family we love people just the way they are. You got a problem with that, Brian?” Debbie may have been talking about her brother, but she was looking right at Michael.

Brian hadn’t said anything, just shook his head, but he got the message loud and clear. If Mikey hadn’t already looked like he was going to die of embarrassment, he would have told Debbie she had nothing to worry about. He’d known within a few minutes of meeting him that Michael was gay. It wasn’t going to be a problem.

The stories Michael had told Brian about his uncle after that had made him sound pretty cool. He’d been living in New York for a few years, going to plays, hanging out in clubs, surrounded by other gay men. It was Brian’s dream, but so far Brian wasn’t impressed. It wasn’t that he was bad looking. Vic was blond with nice eyes, and he was in pretty good shape. But Brian couldn’t believe how old he was. Brian was never going to be that old.

“So are you just going to stand there all night or do you want to sit down?”

“Shit!” Brian jumped a foot in the air. Knowing he was caught, he cautiously made his way into the room, easing carefully into one of the armchairs. “I didn’t think this place had a TV,” he said once he realized the light he saw came from a small TV in the hutch, instead of a lamp.

“It didn’t until last year when they got cable. Debbie didn’t tell Michael. She said she wants him outside, not cooped up in here watching TV, but I think she’s just afraid Michael will get used to all the channels.”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Brian shrugged, letting Vic know he wouldn’t say anything.

“Last year, Debbie and I stayed up half the night watching old movies after Michael went to sleep. She’s been too tired this year.” Vic looked back at Debbie’s room with something like regret in his eyes.

Brian didn’t say anything. He knew what Vic meant. It had been a hard winter with high gas bills and a storm that took out half the roof. Debbie was still working extra shifts to pay off the repair bills. If this trip hadn’t already been paid for, Brian doubted she would have come.

“We’re in luck this week,” Vic continued when Brian remained silent. “They’re running classic Brando every night. What do you think?” Vic gestured at the screen.

“I don’t know much about old movies,” Brian shrugged.

“Well, even if you don’t appreciate the art, you should at least appreciate the form.” Vic raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Brando was a fine looking man in his prime.”

“If you say so.”

“You don’t agree?”

“Why would I?” Brian tried not to sound too defensive.

“Oh come on, Brian. We can dance around the elephant in the room or just admit it’s there. Michael came out to me at Christmas, and even if he hadn’t, I would have known.”

“Just because Michael’s gay doesn’t mean I am.” Brian had been with guys, even told Michael about it, but he wasn’t ready for people to be able to figure it out on their own. He couldn’t afford that.

“Boys like Michael don’t have straight friends, and guys like you don’t want them. The game hasn’t changed that much, Brian. I remember how it’s played.”

Suddenly, Brian wondered about the way Vic was looking at him. He’d been with worse looking guys, but fucking around with Mikey’s uncle was just too weird.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not hitting on you,” Vic laughed. “No offense, Brian, but I like my men to be, well men. Teenagers don’t appeal to me. So are you two fucking?”

“Me and Michael? No way.”

“But you are fucking someone?” Vic pressed.

Brian shrugged. “It’s none of your business.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. As much as it pains me to admit it, I am now considered an older gay man which means I have wisdom to impart. Hard as it is to believe, I was you once. Young, handsome, free. I had the world at my feet, and I took advantage of every opportunity that came my way. I wasn’t interested in listening to some old queen’s advice, and I swore I’d never give any, but this is too important.”

Vic had turned so he was looking directly at Brian. The intensity in his eyes kept Brian from making a sarcastic remark. He slouched down in the chair and waited.

“I already had this conversation with my nephew, but I’m not sure he was listening. I’m counting on you to listen. Never have sex without a condom. I don’t care how much of a hurry you’re in, how hot he is, or what someone else tells you. Always use a condom. Do you understand?”

“I know about STDs.” Brian didn’t need a safe sex lecture; he’d educated himself.

“You know about STDs. That’s a joke. We all knew about STDs, knew how not to get them, and when that was too inconvenient, knew what pills would take care of them. But it’s a different world now, Brian.”

“You mean AIDS?” Brian wasn’t as dumb as Vic seemed to think he was.

“Yes, I mean AIDS. And everything you’ve heard about it is probably wrong or a lie. People are dying. Every day they’re dying, and since it’s just a bunch of fags, nobody cares. No one is going to protect you, Brian. That’s why you have to protect yourself. And Michael. You have no idea what it’s like to see someone everyday, to expect to see them everyday, then they get sick, and it’s not a cold or the flu. No, it’s some disease that leaves the doctors shaking their heads, one you’ve never heard of and can’t pronounce, let alone spell. And before you know it, they’re gone, dead. Just like that. And it’s going to get worse. I don’t want that to happen to Michael.”

“So why aren’t you lecturing him?”

“I have, and I will. But I know Michael; it’s not my voice he’ll hear in his head when some hot guy is telling him to forget the condom just this once. He’ll listen to you.”

“What makes you think I’ll tell him what you want him to hear?”

“Because you’re a survivor. You’re not going to take stupid chances with something that could kill you, and you won’t let Michael do it either.”

Vic was right, but Brian didn’t like the idea of anyone being able to read him that easily. “You don’t know shit about me.”

Vic just snorted and turned his attention back to the screen. After a few moments of silence, Brian defiantly pulled out his joint. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Not if you don’t.” Vic held up his own joint and lit it before tossing the lighter to Brian. They smoked in silence for a few minutes before Vic spoke again. “So who smacks you around? Your boyfriend or your father?”

“Boyfriends are for pussies.”

“Your father, then.” Vic nodded. “I thought so.”

“Who told you?” Brian asked angrily. Mikey wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, and even Debbie didn’t talk about it.

“No one had to tell me. Still doubting my powers of observation? It’s over ninety degrees and humid, but you haven’t taken your shirt off once. I would have noticed.” Vic leered comically. “And you move slow which could be normal teenage laziness, but you move slowly to the table too, and no teenager takes their time getting to Debbie’s food. I had my ass kicked enough times to recognize the signs.”

“I didn’t get my ass kicked, and I don’t need your pity. I can take care of myself.” Brian glared at Vic. He hated people knowing about his dad.

“I don’t pity you. Sure you got a raw deal with your father, but, like I said, you’re a survivor. A few more years, and you’ll be on your own with your whole life ahead of you. I bet you already have a plan.”

Brian thought of the money he had hidden away. As soon as he got his license he was buying a car and getting a job that actually paid something. If he kept his grades up, he could get a scholarship and go to college. Then he’d be gone, and he was never coming back. “Yeah, I got a plan.”

“Good for you. Let me tell you, getting out of Pittsburgh was the best thing I ever did.”

“So, what’s New York like?” Brian asked, desperate to change the subject.

“Just like Pittsburgh, only bigger.”

Brian tried to hide his disappointment, but after a minute Vic started laughing and he knew he had failed.

“I’m just kidding. It’s everything I thought it would be. It’s a different world, Brian. Full of freedoms you can only imagine now. There’s theater and fashion and art. Gay men are at the heart of it all. But go young and make your name quickly. The years go by fast, and it’s still a young man’s game.”

“Mikey and I are going as soon as we finish college. New York will never know what hit it,” Brian said confidently.

“You might be right about that,” Vic laughed. “But Michael won’t be going with you.”

“What the fuck do you know? Mikey will come.”

“Debbie’s apron strings don’t stretch that far, and Michael isn’t cut out for the big city. But you, Brian,” Vic looked him over carefully, “you were made for New York.”

“Whatever.” Brian was tired of being analyzed and feeling like Vic could see right through him. He decided to turn the tables on him. “So are you sick?”

“Don’t know.” Vic took one last hit of his joint before putting it out. “I haven’t been tested yet. But given the things I’ve done in my life, it’d be a miracle if I wasn’t. But I don’t regret them. Not even a little bit.”

Vic smiled, and Brian wondered what he’d looked like when he was young. He wanted to ask him about the things he’d done, things he thought were worth maybe dying for, but he didn’t know how. Instead he pretended to watch TV for a while. “I guess Brando is kind of hot,” he said after a while.

“You could say that,” Vic laughed.

Brian ended up watching movies with Vic most of the nights they were there. If he heard Debbie’s voice, he’d climb back up the stairs. But if Vic was alone, Brian would join him. Vic always had joints and stories about New York to share. Brian would listen carefully and picture himself there as his dreams began to take shape.

The next summer, and every one after that, Brian was too busy to go to the Poconos with Mikey. He was working, studying, putting everything he had into making his dreams come true. He didn’t make it to New York with Mikey like he planned, but he never stopped trying. Brian didn’t see Vic again until he came home to Debbie sick and waiting to die. It hit Brian harder than he expected; he couldn’t help remembering those nights they stayed up talking and watching Brando when Vic was the only person who could really see Brian for who he was and what he could be.

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