High Upon the Magic That You Weave
 

Author’s Notes: Thank you to my amazing beta flashfly!  The title is taken from the fabulous Erasure song “Darlene.”
 

Brian leaned against the bar and watched Justin dance. There was no glitter tonight, but the combination of sweat and flashing lights made Justin glow anyway. He moved his hips to the music, flirting shamelessly with some guy he had no intention of doing anything more than dance with. The show was all for Brian. This was Justin’s “stop being a prick and fuck me” dance. It worked more often than Brian liked to admit.

But Brian wasn’t being a prick tonight. He was angry, and he wanted to hold on to that anger. Justin couldn’t just show up and announce seven years in New York had been enough. He couldn’t just say his lease was up, and he wasn’t going back. Like it was some kind of fucking fait accompli. But he had. Brian had tried to argue, telling Justin the loft wasn’t a halfway house, and he didn’t take foundlings in off the streets with no notice. Justin had laughed and told him to stop pretending to be more oblivious than he was naturally. There had been a little shouting and somewhere along the line Babylon had seemed like a better answer than killing each other.

They hadn’t said a word since leaving the loft. Justin was smugly confident in his victory. He knew Brian would never turn him away so he was content to wait it out. Justin winked at Brian from the dance floor, and Brian flipped him off. He wasn’t ready to give in. He needed more time. But Brian had known this day was coming. Justin had wanted to move back as soon as he got his first solo show. Knowing it was too soon, Brian convinced him to come up with a list of goals he needed to reach before leaving New York. He’d met them all a year ago, but Brian talked him into staying longer. When Justin had stopped arguing, Brian figured staying in New York was what he’d wanted all along. He should have known better. Four months ago, the boxes started arriving at the loft. Brian chose to ignore them.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to live with Justin. Luckily, Justin had enough faith in him and what they had together, unconventional and undefined as it might still be, to know that. Brian had never expected them to be living apart this long and still be together. But when he pictured them living together, it was always in New York. New York had been Brian’s dream since Vic told him his first story about gay life in the city. He’d put those dreams aside years ago, but watching Justin go to New York and succeed had rekindled them. Brian was proud of Justin. The competition in the art world made advertising look like a peace rally, but Justin had thrived. Every time Brian visited Justin, it became easier to imagine living there with him. He loved the idea of reigning over New York with Justin the way they’d once reigned over Pittsburgh.

In his mind, Brian had built up the idea of moving to New York until it took on a life of its own. He thought of it as this great gift he could give Justin, a way for them to be together without Justin having to give up New York. As Justin began showing at better galleries and selling more pieces, Brian worked harder and went after bigger accounts. He pictured penthouse apartments, grand openings for Justin, and high profile clients for himself.

And then Ted explained exactly what a New York office would mean. Kinnetik had succeeded beyond even Brian’s expectations. He never thought about money; if there was something he wanted, he simply bought it. Running national campaigns had become commonplace. But national clients weren’t the same as New York clients. Kinnetik couldn’t afford to expand to New York and remain in Pittsburgh at the same time. In order to compete in New York, they would need all of Kinnetik’s reserves and most of Brian’s own money. They would have to sell the offices, the house, and the loft. That would barely be enough to get them started. A move like that would cost them clients at the same time they were competing against established agencies for new ones. Essentially, they would be starting all over again. Ted laid this all out for Brian, and then looked him in the eye and said he’d be ready to go the minute Brian gave the word. Brian quietly asked him to shred the file, and they never spoke of it again.

What bothered Brian most was that he knew they could do it. He knew the kind of hours and work it would take. Brian had made those types of sacrifices in the past, and he could do it again. Ted and Cynthia and most of his staff would make them too. But knowing they would probably succeed in the long term wasn’t enough anymore. Brian was no longer willing to take that kind of risk. He had responsibilities now, to himself, to Gus, and to Justin. Brian didn’t know if he was more upset about losing his dream of New York or realizing he was no longer the person who would give up anything to make it happen. Either way, Justin coming back to Pittsburgh was salt in the wound.

Not that Brian had ever said anything to Justin, not about his plans to move to New York or about giving them up, again. But he was sure Justin knew. Ever since Ted had taken over Justin’s finances, they’d formed an unlikely friendship. Brian wouldn’t have put it past Ted to casually mention something to Justin, knowing Brian wouldn’t. Brian also knew Justin had most likely figured it out on his own. People still underestimated his intelligence, and Justin used that to his advantage. He taught himself enough about business to ensure he couldn’t be exploited. Brian wondered if Justin’s father had any idea of how far he could have gone with that business degree from Dartmouth. He just hoped Justin’s move wasn’t some misguided attempt to let Brian save face.

Emmett’s arrival stopped Brian from working himself into an even worse mood. “Hey stranger, I haven’t seen you here in a while.” Emmett bumped Brian with his hip before turning to the bartender and ordering something Brian had never heard of. The drink he accepted was purple, and Brian thought it might be glowing. Emmett took a sip and smiled before joining Brian in watching the dance floor. “Ohh, you didn’t tell me Justin was here. Why aren’t you out there dancing with your man?”

“Because I’m standing here having a drink with you,” Brian drawled sarcastically, raising his glass to Emmett.

Emmett watched Justin for a few minutes before sighing. “How is it I’m scheduling Botox treatments and thinking about a tummy tuck, and Justin barely looks a day older than he did the first time I saw him? What was that, ten years ago?”

It was twelve, but Brian didn’t bother to correct Emmett. Justin hadn’t aged much physically, but there were small changes Emmett wouldn’t have noticed. There were now a handful of silver hairs that blended almost perfectly with his natural color. He wasn’t as flexible as he once was, and there was a different quality to his skin now. It was a change Brian couldn’t explain, but he could feel it.

“I don’t think anyone has ever made a Babylon debut quite like he did.” Emmett smiled and shook his head. “I’ll never forget him walking in here and taking those tricks from you. He knew exactly what he wanted.”

Brian snorted. “He knew nothing.”

“Really?” Emmett arched his eyebrow. “If I remember correctly, he wanted to be a famous artiste,” his French accent was accompanied by a wave of his hand. “And he wanted to be with you. For someone who didn’t know what he wanted, he sure did a good job of getting it.”

Brian glared at Emmett but didn’t say anything.

“Well, I promised Blake I’d look after Teddy while he’s at some conference. So I’d better go remind him that inventory is for daytime when the dance floor is empty, instead of at night when it’s filled with all these beautiful men.” Emmett gave Brian a quick wave and was off.

Justin blew Brian a kiss, and Brian rolled his eyes. Justin always liked to push. Brian figured that out the night he ended up taking Justin home for the second time. He let himself remember that night. The surprise of Justin being bold enough to not only challenge him, but to win. There had been a lot of that in the beginning; he and Justin challenging each other, on the dance floor, on the catwalk, in the backroom. Each of them trying to gain ground, trying to make the other blink first. So much of their history was tied to Babylon. An invitation that should never have been offered or accepted. Negotiations and lines drawn in the sand, separations and reunions. He thought of sledgehammers and celebratory fucks. Brian closed his eyes and the air was full of smoke and confessions. Somehow, they always ended up back here, together.

Brian opened his eyes and let the past slip away. He watched Justin and saw that beneath his deliberately obvious attempts to keep Brian’s attention, he was happy. He thought of the look on Justin’s face when he’d announced he was home for good. There had been no disappointment, only joy and relief. Brian knew right then what Justin would say if he asked him why he’d come back. He could hear him clearly, “I’m doing exactly what I want to do, coming home to you.” He knew Justin would be teasing him a little, letting him know how ridiculous the question was by answering him with his own words. But Justin meant it just as much as Brian had. Justin had made his choice; now it was time for Brian to make his.

The cab ride to and from the loft took less than half an hour. Brian doubted Justin even realized he’d left. He found Justin dancing with someone new. The first guy must have realized Justin wasn’t interested in more than a dance and moved on. Brian came up behind Justin and pulled him back against his chest. Justin’s hair was short in back, and Brian couldn’t resist nuzzling his neck before asking, “You done here?”

“Are you offering something better?” Justin’s tone was light, teasing. He ground his ass against Brian’s crotch answering his own question.

“Let’s go,” Brian let go of Justin, then grabbed his hand to lead him off the dance floor.

“Hey Brian, in case you’ve forgotten, the backroom is this way,” Justin raised an eyebrow and pointed behind him.

Brian just shook his head and tugged at Justin’s hand to keep him moving. He led him up the stairs and around the corner to his private office. It took him a minute to find the key. He rarely used the office for actual work. Babylon had become Ted’s pet project, and Brian left him to oversee its management. Brian didn’t even know if his office still had a computer. But it had a view of the dance floor, and more important an extra wide chaise he’d saved when they remodeled the VIP lounge. He and Justin had spent more than a few nights on it when they’d been too high and too horny to make it back to the loft.

Justin moved automatically toward the chaise. “Take off your clothes,” Brian ordered as he began to strip himself. By the time he was done, Justin was stretched out and waiting, flushed and slightly sweaty from all his dancing. Already hard, Justin stroked himself lightly as he watched Brian with undisguised lust. He was beautiful, and Brian couldn’t get to him quickly enough. Suddenly, the weeks since they’d been together seemed much longer. The years spent living apart, stealing time together on weekends and rare vacations, were too many.

Justin let his hand fall away when Brian joined him on the chaise. Straddling Justin’s hips, Brian pushed their cocks together, but then he looked at Justin and froze. Justin’s head was thrown back, his eyes closed, and his breath already coming in small pants. Brian wanted to remember how he looked forever. He wanted to tell Justin that he loved him, that he missed him every moment they were apart. He wanted to thank him for coming home, but the words wouldn’t come. Some of what he was feeling must have shown on his face because when Justin opened his eyes, his expression changed, softened as wonder replaced lust. “Jesus, Brian,” he breathed.

Reaching down, Brian slipped one hand into Justin’s hair and pulled him up slightly for a kiss. He put everything he was feeling into it. Using his hand to steady Justin and keep him from breaking away, Brian lowered them back onto the chaise. Justin stroked Brian’s back urging him even closer, and Brian relaxed his upper body, letting Justin take some of his weight as he deepened the kiss. He was content to continue kissing, to lose himself in the feel of Justin’s lips and tongue, but Justin pushed his hips up, demanding a different kind of attention. Smiling, Brian pulled back and braced himself with his arms, moving his hips in time with Justin’s. Soon they were both gasping from the friction and heat of their cocks rubbing and sliding against each other.

Brian kissed Justin’s neck, sucking hard at the skin over his collarbone. Justin moaned, wrapping his legs around Brian’s waist and letting his head fall back, baring himself to Brian’s mouth. Brian wanted to lick every inch of Justin’s skin and rim him for hours until Justin was desperate and begging, but he didn’t think either of them had the patience for that. He’d save that for another time. He kissed Justin again while reaching under the cushions to find the lube and condoms they’d stashed there.

Slowing the movement of his hips, Brian continued to kiss Justin until they’d both calmed down a little. When Justin finally relaxed his legs, Brian moved from the chaise to kneel on the floor. He pulled Justin’s hips to him and rested his face against Justin’s thigh. He licked and nipped at the tender skin around Justin’s cock while opening the lube, then took just the head of Justin’s cock into his mouth and slipped a lubed finger into Justin’s ass. As he pressed deeper, he took more and more of Justin’s cock into his mouth. Two fingers, then three and Brian sucked in rhythm to the movement of his fingers, pulling pack and teasing the head while he stroked Justin’s prostrate.

He let the sounds of Justin’s pleading wash over him. “Please Brian, God, just fuck me. Please, now!” Again and again, he brought Justin to the edge only to pull him back. Finally, when Justin’s whole body was shaking, and Brian was desperate for his own release, he pulled back. “Up,” he growled with a playful slap to Justin’s ass. Brian moved to the end of the chaise and kissed the sole of one foot before placing Justin’s legs on his shoulders.

As Brian opened the condom wrapper, he realized someday he might not need one. The flutter of panic that normally accompanied that thought didn’t come. For the first time, that future felt right. “Ready?” he whispered, trailing a hand from Justin’s cheek down to his chest. Justin arched into his touch, taking a deep breath and only letting it out once Brian had pushed inside him.

Almost immediately, Justin motioned for him to move. Brian thrust deeply moving faster with each thrust. Justin pulled his legs back as far as he could, urging Brian closer. They pressed their lips and tongues to whatever bits of skin they could reach; their movements too messy and uncoordinated to be called kissing. Too quickly, Brian started to come. He felt Justin’s muscles tighten around him and knew Justin’s own orgasm was beginning. Brian gave himself over completely to the pleasure of their climaxes. He savored the closeness the joining of their bodies brought them as it reaffirmed their feelings for each other.

Brian waited until Justin had stretched his legs out to collapse on his chest, shifting just enough to let his cock slip from Justin’s body. “That was, wow Brian, just wow.” Brian smiled and pulled him closer, but didn’t say anything. As he lay there, Brian listened to the music playing in the background. He didn’t recognize the song, but he could feel the beat, the steady thump-thump that had always been part of Babylon. The familiar sound seemed to be encouraging him, giving him confidence.

After placing a kiss over Justin’s heart, Brian got up and pulled on his jeans, not bothering with his underwear. As he was searching his coat, he heard Justin groan behind him. He turned and saw Justin struggle into a sitting position. “I’m up; I’m up,” Justin grumbled as he started to stand.

Brian shook his head and gestured for Justin to stay where he was. “No, don’t. I have something for you.”

Justin looked at him curiously, but didn’t move or ask him any questions.

Sitting down next to Justin, Brian took a deep breath. He opened the box he’d brought back from the loft and put his own ring on before handing the box to Justin.

“Brian,” Justin almost sighed his name. “I wasn’t sure-” Justin closed his eyes then opened them and started again. “I didn’t know if you still had these.”

He reached for his ring, but Brian put his hand over Justin’s and stopped him. “I don’t want a ceremony or vows. I just want you.” He took his hand away.

“Okay,” Justin said seriously. He put his ring on without breaking eye contact. “I can do that.”

Brian nodded, and Justin gave up all pretense at solemnity. He flashed Brian the most beautiful smile Brian had ever seen before throwing himself into Brian’s arms. “I love you Brian, so much.”

Relief flooded Brian’s body. This had been the right choice. He pulled Justin closer and buried his face in the curve of his neck. “I love you,” he whispered.

Brian stood and pulled Justin up with him. “Let’s go home. You have a lot of unpacking to do in the morning.”

 

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