Wyrd

Chapter 4: “Fireworks”

Though I know you're the kind of boy
Who only wants to run around
I'll keep waiting and someday, darling
You'll come to me
When you want to settle down ~ The Chiffons

***

 

December 2003 / January 2004

The weather had permitted a perfect flight from Pittsburgh International to JFK International airport, but halfway between Brian’s three hour and forty-five minute layover, a windstorm descended and his flight was delayed until the next afternoon. He no longer had access to the Vangard owned apartment in the city. Renting a hotel room a few days shy of New Year’s Eve was next to impossible, unless it was in a fleabag hotel and Brian would’ve preferred to camp out in the airport overnight, which he informed Cynthia of when she suggested the only free accommodations in the city.

Brian had a two and a half hour layover in Madrid before he flew to Ibiza and it was between flights that he was supposed to meet the client’s assistant to procure some paperwork he needed to go through before their meeting that was scheduled on the fifth. It was apparent that, with the delay in New York, meeting the assistant on time wasn’t going to take place, so he had Cynthia call the client to inform him of his flight delay while Brian dealt with extracting his checked luggage. He didn’t care that he’d have to pay additional fees, if he was going to be stuck in the airport for the next twenty-four hours; he was going to have a change of clothes and his toiletry products. As Brian settled into an uncomfortable chair in one of the lounges, Cynthia called him back with good news. The client in Madrid owned a small condo in Brooklyn and as luck would have it, it was sitting empty until tomorrow afternoon. The condo was an hour from the airport and nothing like the executive apartment Vangard owned in the city, but it was clean, had Wi-Fi and, most importantly, a comfortable bed for him to sleep in, though stress prevented him from getting any good rest.

The next day, his flight left JFK on time, he met with the assistant in between boarding his plane for Ibiza and as the plane touched down in Ibiza, at a little after two p.m. on New Year’s Eve, he began to get nervous.

He was about to do something that he never before thought he wanted to do, find out if he could be in a relationship with Justin, because he was damn sure that if he couldn’t be in one with him, there would be no one else. Brian had done a lot of thinking about his life since the last time he was in Ibiza. He considered his reasons for being the one to take the first step in requesting correspondence with Justin. The simple fact had been that when he’d packed that morning, occasionally looking over his shoulder to look at Justin sleeping, he’d wanted nothing more than to stop what he was doing and crawl under the covers and fuck him awake. That hadn’t been the end of what he imagined doing with Justin. No, he imagined himself doing it again and again, contemplated his busy work schedule, devised a plan that would allow him to stay for three more days even, but he realized that probably wouldn’t be long enough either and no matter what he’d have to leave.

It was then that he wrote the note to Justin. He did it before the demands of ‘I don’t believe in love, I believe in fucking’ inner voice could overpower the need he had in wanting to stay connected to Justin, in whatever he way he could. The weeks before he found the email from Justin in his spam folder had been annoyingly torturous because he checked his email six times a day to see if he’d written him back. Sometimes he’d stare at his inbox for a few minutes and refresh the page two or three times before logging out. During those weeks lots of doubts and regrets began to enter his mind. By the time he saw Justin’s email, he’d nearly convinced himself that Justin Taylor wasn’t as great a fuck as he’d been thinking, that he was just a kid and that they had absolutely nothing in common and that Justin had probably moved on and found another boyfriend shortly after Brian left. Reading Justin’s email had thrilled him and he concluded that Justin was indeed as good as he’d been and that he’d done the right thing writing him the note.

Of course he couldn’t tell Justin any of that. He kept himself guarded. But then the emails continued and confessing things to Justin that he couldn’t to anyone else he knew made him wish for more than just the emails. He wanted to see him, not just pictures. He remembered how silky his skin was, how it felt beneath his fingertips and his recollections of their time together, what he felt being with Justin began to occur daily, sometimes when nothing at all prompted them. Brian held himself back from emailing Justin every time that he wanted to because sometimes he would’ve looked like an idiot, just sending Justin a blank email with the subject ‘hi’, just so that he could get another one in return. Those ridiculous actions Brian held off from, barely, and that should’ve been sign enough that he had no choice in how he felt about him but for a little while longer he still hoped he could control it.

Justin was a secret, something special in his life that no one knew about, judged or could ruin, except him. Brian was consciously aware of each word he wrote, never wanting to give away to much, because he didn’t know how much he’d be able to give in reality. He knew that Justin wanted more from him, would probably take what he could get, but he read between the lines in the emails and he’d acutely remembered the way Justin had looked up at him, showing his emotions without reservation and he remembered how tightly Justin held him in his arms until he’d fallen asleep and Brian had reluctantly pulled away and got out of bed to pack.

It was during the long hiatus of him not replying to Justin’s emails that his thoughts turned from just thinking about wanting to see him now to wanting to be with him, to see him much more than just once a year and to share more than just sex and his viewpoint of his life through emails. Still, he knew that he wasn’t ever going to be the kind of boyfriend or partner that his friends were in their relationships, but he let himself hope that he could possibly be the kind of partner that Justin needed. The day that thought had popped into his head, it terrified him but he was more amused with the realization that no matter what, he could no longer be in denial. He embraced the feelings Justin’s emails, pictures, and the memories of their time in Ibiza gave him.

Then, he knew that it wasn’t only his own feelings he had to worry about. Yes, Justin had boyfriends, but none of them had been him and he knew he wasn’t going to be easy to be with. So he had to get Justin on board with what he now accepted that he wanted and to do so he would have to jump first. So, he planned to test the waters when he visited in the spring. But then, Justin had told him that he was going to move back to the U.S. and Brian was annoyed with the details he didn’t know about the man who had changed his whole way of thinking about himself. He didn’t know where exactly Justin would live or what colleges Justin would be applying to. He knew a lot about Justin, but it wasn’t enough.

Brian came to acknowledge that he knew much more about Justin than he’d allowed the other man to know about him and yet Justin never really pushed for more, even though he made it clear that Justin wished to know more about Brian. Knowing that Justin would soon be in the U.S. moved things along for Brian and that was why, when the opportunity presented itself, he decided to visit him and test what was happening with them. As he stepped off the airplane, he commanded his stomach to settle, took a series of deep breaths and told himself, that there was no turning back. He was there for a reason and the thought of seeing Justin in just a few minutes time, the anticipation he felt, alleviated all the tension he’d felt.

The fifth year that Brian saw Justin, it was in the parking lot of the airport in Ibiza. It was a mild 67 degrees, the sun was bright in the sky, making it feel even warmer, or that might’ve just been because of the infectious smile on Justin’s face, Brian couldn’t be sure. Justin didn’t wait for him to walk across the lot where he waited. Instead, he ran up to Brian and proceeded to kiss him until there was no breath left in him and Brian felt a moment of vertigo overtake him before he stumbled after Justin toward the borrowed car, a day later than intended, but nonetheless welcome.

Justin was a good driver, even if he did put most of his concentration into talking and for most of the ride kept one hand on Brian’s upper thigh. Brian didn’t mind listening to his voice and it was good to have some interaction in his native language. For a solitary creature such as himself, Brian thought it was odd that he enjoyed the company of someone so animated, but he figured his stillness sort of evened them out. However, Justin was going from subject to subject, talking much more than he usually did and Brian realized it was because he was nervous. It was odd. Justin had never been nervous around him before. But Brian figured that maybe it was a good thing, maybe it meant that Justin was feeling just the same way he was. He figured Justin would probably settle down once they got to the resort.

Justin chatted about the villa Aaron wanted to buy located a few miles from the resort, the renovations the new owner had planned for the resort, about Molly counting down the days until the ‘big move’ and all the things Matt wanted for their house in the States, and Brian abruptly realized that none of what Justin had been talking about had been about the two of them. Even during the phone call yesterday morning when Brian called to tell Justin his time of arrival in Madrid he hadn’t talked about any plans for Brian’s stay at the resort. It was a surprise to realize that it was because Justin wasn’t just nervous, but that he obviously felt awkward with him, which was not what Brian had expected, at all.

When they arrived at the resort, Justin took him to the suite Brian always rented, though he had not made a reservation this time, thinking he would stay in Justin’s room. He tried to hide his surprise of this fact as he lugged his suitcase into the room behind Justin.

Justin suddenly quieted down then and looked everywhere in the room except at Brian, suddenly appearing to Brian like the young teenager he’d been when they first met. “I guess you probably want to shower… or do what you came here to do so you can be ready to meet with your client, so… when you’re finished, if you want to hang out… I’ll be next door. You know… if you want to find me unless you want to go to the clubs alone or something, that’s okay too of course.”

Brian really didn’t like this and he didn’t like what Justin had said about the reason he’d come to Ibiza and he didn’t like that Justin was trying to pretend like he didn’t care if Brian wanted to prowl the clubs before they did anything alone together. Justin was acting completely out of character. Brian liked the confident, annoying, and sometimes endearingly enthusiastic twat that Justin usually was when with him. Brian had to calm him down, had to talk to him and taking Justin in the shower with him to fuck, or taking him on the bed or anywhere else, he realized, sex wouldn’t be enough to stop Justin’s nervousness.

‘Just fucking say it, it’s just a few words, just fucking say them,’ he told himself. “That’s what I came here for.”

Justin’s eyebrows creased together, obviously not following after such a lengthy pause in conversation due to Brian’s silence and the inner dialogue playing in his head. “Huh?”

“I’m not meeting with my client until Monday and I’m not here on a fucking vacation.”

Justin’s lips quirked as if he was about to smile but then they straightened out and he sighed softly, eyes darting around the room again, he asked, “So you came to fully experience all the hotel amenities you’re usually too busy to partake in?”

Brian rolled his eyes and mirrored Justin’s long sigh as he placed his carryon beside the desk. He walked across the suite and in a smooth move brought Justin into his arms and fused their bodies together. One hand cupped Justin’s ass while the other gripped his hair and tilted his face up so that Brian was looking right into his dark blue eyes. “I thought you were a genius? The only amenities I’m interested in at this resort belong to you.”

Justin blinked quickly and a barely discernible ‘oh’ passed his lips before Brian swallowed his shocked enlightenment with his mouth and used his tongue to coax whimper-like moans from Justin, which then heeded his own moans.

Brian did lure Justin into the shower and fuck him there, but only after taking him on the bed, twice, first practically clothed and the next completely naked. After getting squeaky clean in the shower, Brian called guest services and requested a wake-up call for eight p.m. and had the concierge make reservations for two at the arcade restaurant for nine o’clock. Justin still wasn’t his normal chatterbox self, so Brian took advantage of Justin’s newfound quiet demeanor and suggested that they get some rest. It was almost amusing how uninhibited Justin had been during sex and how silent he appeared after. If Justin wasn’t back to normal after their nap, which he had to assure Justin he wanted to share with him, he’d think of the next course of action then.

“Brian, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Brian was almost asleep when he heard Justin speak, which had to be the first words he’d said in hours, not counting the nasty things he said pertaining to sex. His heartbeat had slowed to the relaxed sleepy pace, but upon hearing the words Justin spoke, it accelerated and his entire body felt hot and then cold and then so incredibly warm and peaceful that the rapid change within him almost frightened him. He had no idea how to respond, so he just kept himself still, wondering if Justin even knew that he was still awake and hoped that he didn’t seem clued into his body’s immediate reactions.

“I know you’re probably not going to ever say it back and I’m okay with that,” Justin whispered, his lips moving against Brian’s chest. A gasp of air ghosted across Brian’s skin, raising goosebumps. “It won’t change how I feel about you; I just hope that somehow you can show me what it is that you want from me.”

No, Justin definitely didn’t know he was still awake, Brian realized. It was better this way, because Brian needed time to process the words Justin had spoken that started his one-sided conversation.

“I do love you, Brian.”

The heat from Justin’s breath seemed to burn the softly spoken statement into Brian’s skin. He was sure that he could trace each letter with his fingertips if he tried. He was relieved when he felt Justin’s body sag heavily and then heard him do the lip smacking thing he did just as he succumbed to sleep. He hated pretending but what he hated more at that moment was cowardice, something he tried his entire life to never be afflicted with but was not too sure that he’d accomplished. After all, he didn’t even allow the similar thought to cross his mind until he was certain that Justin was sleeping and he doubted that he’d ever be able to put the thought into words.

Sleep deprivation took pity on him and a few minutes later Brian fell asleep, the word ‘coward’ rumbling through his head as the world faded away.

 

***
 

Brian woke, not to the ringing of the phone wake up call, but to the sound of Justin’s voice.

“Where are you from?” Justin asked quietly, drawing his finger in a circle around Brian’s left nipple.

Brian decided that enough was enough. He wasn’t a coward. There were certain aspects about himself that had changed since meeting Justin, but he never had let fear control him before and he wasn’t going to let it do so now. He bit the bullet, opened his eyes and, once they focused on Justin’s, he said, “I’m from Pittsburgh.”

The response he got from Justin wasn’t what he expected. In a flash-like move Justin flopped over onto his back beside him, laughing uproariously while punching his fists and kicking his legs on the mattress.

Brian turned on his side to look over at Justin and wondered if perhaps it had been a bad idea to tell this crazy person the town he lived. “Uh… Justin?” Maybe while they were sleeping Justin’s body had been taken over by aliens?

“Holy fuck!” Justin shouted and sat upright, twisting his body around and sitting cross legged to look down at Brian, the biggest smile he’d ever worn adorning his face. “Wait, wait a fucking minute,” Justin said, holding his hands up in the air, tossing his head from side to side. “You do mean Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, not like Pittsburg, California or Pittsburg, Idaho or Pittsburg, Illinois or…”

“I fucking mean the Pittsburgh spelled with the ‘h’ at the end, otherwise known as ‘The Pitts of Pennsylvania’.” Brian sat up, now wide awake. “Why? Are you from there or close to it?” He winced inside when he noticed that the hope he felt asking the question was obvious with the tone of his voice.

“Ohhh,” Justin laughed and slapped Brian’s shoulder, “I’d say I used to live damn close!”

Brian felt relief but also a little trepidation. “So, where are you from?”

“I grew up in Sewickley, which, as I’m sure you know is considered Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.”

Brian was quite jaded and there were few things in his life that really surprised him and fewer surprises that he liked, but this one… this surprise was quite possibly better than the time his tailor knocked fifty percent off the price for tailoring his spring collection as a thank you gift for being a regular customer for ten years. This Taylor’s surprise most definitely trumped that one by spades.

“From the grin on your face I guess you’re as happy about this turn of fate as I am?” Justin asked in a breathy voice.

Brian was certain he was grinning like a fool but he could care less. He glanced at the alarm clock near the bed, saw they had twenty minutes before their wake up call and pulled Justin down on top of him. As Justin squirmed under his kisses and groping, Brian thought that it was completely possible that aliens had taken over his body too because in another time, he would probably be freaking out, running from Justin, from the feelings he no doubt felt springing around within him, but he couldn’t even fathom doing anything of the kind. He just wanted to… Well, there was so much he suddenly wanted, he didn’t know where to start. But he needn’t worry, Justin had a condom between his teeth and his delicious ass was rubbing across his erection. This, Brian figured, was a fine place to start.

 

***
 

On the way down to the arcade, Justin had informed Brian that his uncles would likely be having dinner at the same restaurant. It was tradition, he told him, as New Year’s Eve was the anniversary of the day they met and the restaurant was where they first laid eyes on one another. Brian thought the story was sickeningly romantic, but the way Justin retold it, (in too much detail for Brian’s delicate ears), it caused an uneasy feeling to settle in his gut. Once again, Brian was made aware of how much of a romantic Justin truly was. But then, as they entered the restaurant and Justin discreetly pointed to a waiter he wanted to fuck, the weird feeling subsided and Brian was left feeling utterly confused. It was odd that Justin was so comfortable with tricking but also obviously longed for the type of committed relationship Aaron and Matt shared.

Brian didn’t want to spend tonight talking or thinking about whatever relationship they did have, though he resolved to bring this up at a later time. As they were headed toward their table, Justin grabbed his hand and halted them.

“Lucas, I’m going to say hi to my uncles,” he told the host.

“Sure, I’ll just put your menus on the table for you,” Lucas said before walking away.

Brian scanned the restaurant but didn’t see either of Justin’s uncles. “Where are they?”

Justin pointed toward the far end of the large room where a small half wall separated the space. “In the lover’s lounge,” he replied, his voice deep and dramatic. “Come on.”

Brian was doing a happy dance inside when he realized that their table was nowhere near ‘the lover’s lounge’. He pulled on Justin’s arm, stopping him. “It’s their anniversary,” he said, “maybe they don’t want to be interrupted.”

Justin shrugged and gave Brian an evil smirk. “You’re totally scared of Aaron.”

Brian guffawed. “I. Am. Not.”

“Yes, you are. Weren’t you paying attention to what I said in the elevator?”

“I was too busy staring at your ass while you tied your shoes,” Brian deadpanned. He had done that.

“Molly is eating with them. Actually, we all usually eat together tonight, but they knew I had plans with you. I promised them we’d stop by and say hello if we weren’t otherwise indisposed.”

Brian wasn’t afraid of Justin’s overbearing, overprotective, hypocritical uncle, he just didn’t like him. “Fine,” he relented. “But we’re not joining them.”

“Of course not,” Justin assured, laughing. He pulled Brian along with him through the crowded restaurant and then behind the wall.

Brian was confused because it was obvious that the area was not designed as any type of lounge and there was only one small table in the center. A door on the opposite wall opened and two waiters rushed out of it carrying trays of food.

“Aaron worked here,” Justin said softly. His uncles and Molly had yet to notice them. “He was a busboy on his break, eating at the employee table and Matt was lost, looking for the bathrooms. That’s how they met.”

These details Justin hadn’t told him before. “I thought Aaron’s family was wealthy and that’s how he bought this resort,” Brian spoke in a hushed tone as he followed Justin over to the table. “I didn’t imagine him to be a busboy in a former life.”

“They are wealthy and he bought it with his inheritance, but his parents required him to work here for a year before they would release the funds needed for him to buy it,” Justin explained, right before they reached the table. “Hey, guys!”

Molly and Matt immediately broke from whatever conversation they’d been having and stood up to hug and greet Brian. They launched into their questions about his travels, what he and Justin’s plans were for the night and Brian replied to each one, conscious of the scowl and glare Aaron directed toward him. With the break in conversation he looked down at Aaron and pasted on a smile. “I hear congratulations are in order,” he said to the man and then looked at Matt. “Justin told me you’ve been together for ten years. That’s quite a commitment.”

Aaron huffed, “As if you’d know or appreciate commitments.”

“Aaron,” Matt spoke the name in a warning tone and then looked up at Brian with an apologetic smile. “Thank you, Brian. I have to admit that spending a decade with Aaron hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it.”

Justin rolled his eyes and figured they’d better leave before Aaron said something else shitty that could ruin all of their nights. He didn’t understand what his uncle’s problem was with Brian. Months ago Justin had told him that he and Brian were keeping in contact, emailing one another, and he thought that would make Aaron happy, knowing that Brian wasn’t just stringing him along while he was on vacation. Aaron had even seemed genuinely happy for Justin when he told him that Brian would be visiting for the New Year, but now he was acting like an asshole again and Justin couldn’t understand it. At least Brian didn’t seem fazed by his uncle’s unwelcoming behavior. “Well, we just wanted to come over and say hi and wish you a Happy New Year and anniversary. We’d better get over to our table and order some food so we have time to eat before the fireworks.”

Brian wanted to just do as Justin suggested and get their evening on their way, but it was time to do something about his difficult uncle first. “Wait,” he said before they left the table. “You go ahead to the table, order me… well, you know what I like. I’d like to have a quick chat with Aaron, that is, if you could spare him, Matt?”

“Sure,” Matt said in a hopeful tone.

Justin gave Brian a hesitant look, wanted to ask him what he was going to say to his uncle, but he trusted Brian and he hoped that whatever the two discussed it would put an end to the ridiculous behavior from Aaron. “All right,” Justin said, looking back and forth between Aaron and Brian before walking away.

Aaron bristled. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m in the middle of having dinner.”

“Just go,” Matt said, glaring at his partner. “Go settle whatever the fuck it is you need to so we can have a good night.”

“What is your problem?” Brian asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Years ago, you fucked my best friend, and...”

“I’ve fucked a lot of people’s best friends,” Brian interrupted. “When was this?”

“About ten years ago, you’ve likely fucked thousands of men since him, so I’m sure you don’t remember him.”

“Right, I don’t.” Brian couldn’t believe the guy was angry about something that happened a decade ago.

“His name is Felix, you fucked him and made him believe that you wanted more. He really liked you, though I have no idea why and then you broke his heart.”

Brian hadn’t been back to Ibiza since that first trip until the first year he met Justin and it amazed him that Aaron remembered him, especially because he hadn’t fucked him. “Look, I’m sorry your friend fell in love after one fuck but that wasn’t the first time that’s happened to me and it wasn’t the last, so…”

“You led him on,” Aaron interrupted. “You went on a fucking date with him and then you ended up fucking the waiter. You could’ve just told him no when he asked you to dinner, you didn’t have to be so cruel.”

Brian drew his lips into his mouth and shrugged. The only reason he vaguely recalled the instance was because it had been the first and last ‘date’ he’d ever agreed to go on. Still, he’d been an asshole to hundreds of men, so he really couldn’t defend himself and figured he probably had treated Felix like shit. He liked to think that he was a little different now with the way he handled tricks, believed that he’d not do anything like that to someone again, but the only thing he knew for sure was that he wasn’t and wouldn’t ever be like that with Justin. “I get it, all right. I broke your friend’s heart, acted like a major dickhead. But that was over a decade ago and it was on my first trip here and I was a horny kid. I’d bet that Felix isn’t still so hung up on what happened as you still are.”

“Felix’s nephew isn’t fucking you,” Aaron said. “I have a reason to be pissed that you’re fucking around with Justin. He’s been through a lot in his life and…”

Brian was so over this conversation. “Look, I’m sure you’ve changed over the last decade, haven’t you? Well maybe I have too… and maybe your nephew had something to do with that. So… can we call a fucking truce or something because this bullshit is boring and pointless.”

“I want you to promise me that you’re not going to hurt him,” Aaron demanded.

Brian had to refrain from laughing. “Seriously, Aaron, you’re an adult, I’m sure you know that would be an impossible promise for anyone to make. I get that you’re worried I’ll fuck him over, so if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll promise not to deliberately do anything to hurt him. But he’s an adult too and he can make his own decisions about the men he’s with and it’d be a lot easier to do… whatever it is we’re doing… without you being so fucking hostile every time I’m around, because, from the way fate is working out… that’s probably going to be for a long fucking time.”

Aaron laughed. “Fate? You believe in fate?”

Brian shrugged and turned to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “What else can explain two strangers from Pittsburgh meeting in Ibiza and…” He bit his lip and sucked in a deep breath, goosebumps rising on his skin as he realized exactly how he was about to finish that sentence and could hardly believe the words ‘falling in love’ had entered his mind. He immediately spotted Justin at their table, his shaggy blond head bent as he scribbled on a napkin at their table. When he reached the table, dropped down into his chair, he startled Justin out of his drawing haze.

“Sorry,” Justin said, glancing up at Brian before concentrating on his drawing again. “I’m inspired.”

Brian leaned over the table to look at Justin’s sketch and laughed. “What the fuck is that?” He couldn’t decipher the figure upside down.

“It’s…” Justin looked up, held Brian’s eyes and his face flushed. “I’m going to paint it later, but I had this feeling of an idea and I just had to put it on paper.”

“A feeling of an idea?” Brian was certain Justin was the weirdest person he’d ever met.

Justin nodded. “Just give me a second to finish,” he said and went back to the drawing.

If it were anyone else Brian was having dinner with, he would’ve been offended that the person found something more interesting than him to focus on, but watching Justin sketch wasn’t a hardship. So Brian picked up the glass of wine in front of him, sat back in his chair and sipped it while he watched Justin.

“Done,” Justin announced, stuffing the pen and napkin in his pocket.

“You’re not going to let me see it?” Brian asked, feigning a hurtful tone.

“You can feel it after I paint it.” He bit his lip. “I hope.”

“Feel it?” Brian asked.

Justin nodded. “Well it’ll be abstract so I don’t know how much you’ll see… you know?”

Brian felt like that statement spoke of more than just Justin’s future painting. “Yeah, I do.”

 

***
 

After a filling dinner they had just enough time to grab beers out of Justin’s fridge and park themselves in chairs on the balcony their rooms shared right before the fireworks display began. It started ten minutes before midnight and would culminate with a huge finale ringing in the New Year; something Justin was very excited about seeing. So when Brian tried to get him to sit on his lap for it, he begged off.

“Nuh-uh,” he said, taking a swig of his beer. “I know what’ll happen if I sit on your lap.”

Brian smirked. “Exactly.”

“I’ll miss it all,” Justin said, leaning over and pecking Brian’s cheek.

Brian decided it was time to play dirty and as the fireworks started, he pulled down the zipper of his pants and lowered them to his knees before sitting back on the chair. He’d immediately gotten Justin’s attention.

Justin shook his head. “Brian,” he sighed and wiggled in his chair.

Brian licked the palm of his hand and began stroking himself. “I have a great view of the fireworks!” he yelled over the loud bangs.

Justin teasingly asked, “Isn’t fucking in the New Year kind of cliché?”

Brian shook his head no. “No. Telling you that we can make our own fireworks, now that would be a fucking cliché!”

“It’s also fucking romantic,” Justin said, groping himself.

Brian laughed. “Whatever works!”

And so, Justin and Brian rang in the year 2004 in the most cliché and romantic way possible. Justin rode Brian’s cock as they faced the Mediterranean Ocean, lights from the fireworks painting their skin with disappearing ink, the breeze cooling their bodies and the noise from the fireworks allowing them to be as loud as they wanted.

Later, in Justin’s bed, Brian held the younger man who had fallen into a deep sleep at the first signs of daylight. It was a comment Justin made while playing with his balls that kept him awake. They had been drunk, fooling around, and Justin had said, ‘This ball feels different from the other one,’ and then began sucking on them and Brian had forgotten all about it until he’d come down from whatever number orgasm it was he’d had that day. Justin had quickly fallen asleep, his arm draped across Brian’s chest, his face pressed against his shoulder. The innocent observation jolted Brian out of his post-orgasmic haze and he reached between his legs, weighed each ball carefully and then he felt it. It. He knew what it was, but Justin had been too drunk or horny to realize what the difference he felt was.

Brian knew that there was nothing he could do about it until he went home, resolved to enjoy the next days with Justin, because until he was back in the Pitts, he wouldn’t know for sure if it was anything to worry about. He told himself this, but his mind refused to listen to reason. He desperately searched for something else to focus on and just as he was about to give up on sleeping and go down to the bar to have a few shots of J.B., he heard Justin mumble something in his sleep, words he had no idea he was even speaking, words Brian had never imagined he’d want to hear, three words that were exactly the soothing comfort Brian needed to fall asleep.

 

***
 

Tuesday, January 6, 2004
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Strange Coincidences?

Justin,
I’ve been on the plane for a while now and I keep asking myself, ‘What are the odds?’ and if cell phone use was possible I’d probably call Ted and wake him up so that he could give me the statistics.
Does the name Vernon Martinez mean anything to you? If you know who the man is who is buying your uncles’ resort, it should. He is also the CEO of Bella Properties, the same client I met in Madrid yesterday/today. Vernon kept his plans to buy Nautico Ebeso tight-lipped and he didn’t give me any information about it before he told me about it today. I thought we were going to talk about the last of the details for print ads in OUT for the resort in Madrid he just bought, but now he wants to hire us to promote Nautico too. I won’t begin with that until after he takes possession in June, so you were wrong, I will be going back to Nautico Ebeso someday.
Later,
~Brian

Wednesday, January 7, 2004
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: It’s called fate

Brian,
I know you don’t want to hear this, but I am convinced that there is such a thing as fate. I’m not naïve, I do think we all make choices that determine just what version of a predestined life we will live, but I urge you to get some statistics from Ted. The odds of you and I meeting in Ibiza and both being from Pittsburgh have to be insurmountable. The odds that your ad agency, out of all the agencies in the world, the man who is buying Nautico being the same man you came to Spain to meet and will one day be doing the advertising for the resort… it must be fate.
Get over it and stop thinking about it, it is what it is. *grinning here*
Five days went by too fast. I thought two weeks were rushed but now that I’m alone here and reflecting on all the things we did together, it just doesn’t seem like enough. I know we’re going to see one another in March, but I already miss feeling you inside me. God, I want you so much and I don’t want to freak you out and keep going on and on about how much I miss you, so you should do something about that.
Call me and we can have some really hot phone sex. You know I’ll be staying up late until school starts so don’t worry about what time it is.
011 34 971 30 29 99
Later,
~Justin

Friday, January 9, 2004
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Whoever you fuck tonight, think of this
Attachment-me-last-night.jpeg

Brian, just so you know… after we talked, I jerked off twice more. I think reaching my sexual peak has taken on a new meaning. If you’re not too high tonight, call and tell me all about your night.
~Justin

Saturday, January 10 2004

“Hu—hullo?” Justin whispered groggily into the phone’s receiver. He scooted away from the trick sleeping beside him and got out of bed.

“Jussstin! You’re awake!”

Justin smiled as he pulled on his boxers, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear. “Now I am,” he said softly, slipping into his robe. It was amazing how quickly he felt awake the moment he realized it was Brian on the phone.

“Timezzis it there?”

Justin looked at the clock before walking to the balcony doors and slipping outside. “It’s early,” he said, yawning, “six-thirty.” He was surprised Brian was already home when it was only 12:30 a.m. Pittsburgh time. “It’s still dark outside here, but I can see the beginning of the sun’s rays on the horizon.”

“Iz beautifamous where you are,” Brian drawled. “It’s rainin’ ugly cold here.”

Justin laughed. “Beautifamous? Brian, how drunk are you?”

“Nots just drunk, I’m gonna be hiiiigh as a kite ‘cause I’m a rocket maaahhhn!” Brian sloppily sang.

“Well, rocket man, you sound like you had a fun night.”

“Thatz where you’d be wrong then, innin it?” Brian drawled.

Justin curled up on the recliner facing the Sea and wondered if Brian’s night of tricking had been as lackluster as his. His trick had fallen asleep as soon as he’d come, leaving Justin to finish himself off with a hand job and when he tried to wake the guy, he hadn’t budged and so Justin had let him sleep. He wasn’t looking forward to the awkward morning-after that would soon come. “So, what did you do tonight? Or should I be asking who?”

“The guys missed me so much,” Brian paused and said thoughtfully, “mostly Mikey, though.”

“So did you go to Woody’s?” Justin asked, hoping to move the conversation along. He hadn’t yet talked on the phone to an inebriated Brian, but he began to doubt that the conversation would end in phone sex.

“Yup, then we went to Babylon and danced and daaaanced!”

“And fucked?” Justin prompted.

“I seen him at Woody’s, you know?”

“Uh, who did you see?” Justin asked, confused.

“The trick an’ he says he’s a doctor. I fuckeds lots of doctors but none were gonna be as hot as him. Then he’s at Bablon and we danced and daaaanced and….”

“Danced,” Justin said, giggling, “I get the picture.”

“I took him to the backroom,” Brian said, the cheery drunken tone he’d been using suddenly gone. “I was sooooooo hard and he got on his knees to blow me,” he continued in a secretive voice, “so I let him.”

“Was he good?” Justin asked.

“You sented me that picture,” Brian said, happier, “and I fuckeds your mouth, not his.”

Justin was relieved as Brian turned the conversation back to sex. He reached under his robe and began rubbing his cock. “And did you come really hard down my throat?” he asked huskily.

“Mmm… yeah,” Brian groaned.

“And then what?” Justin asked, slipping his hand under his waistband and grasping his erection. “Did you fuck him?”

“No,” Brian said.

Justin was startled with the sadness he heard in that one word. “Well it’s his loss, ‘cause…”

“He found out like you did,” Brian interrupted.

Justin mentally tried to figure out what Brian was talking about. “Found out what? Did you want him to fuck you or something?”

“No!” Brian shouted. “Jezzzus!”

Justin repressed the aggravation he felt and asked, “Then what did you do?”

“I came home and called you,” Brian said, “cause I did remember you wanted me to.”

“Thank you for remembering to call,” Justin said. In all the times he’d been high or drunk with Brian, the man had never behaved so oddly.

“I’m tired,” Brian abruptly spoke. “You can go to bed again.”

“Oh…” Justin took his hand off his erection and stood up from the recliner. “All right, well… maybe you can call me when you wake up and I’ll take care of your morning woody.”

“Sounds delisis,” Brian said, “buh-bye.”

“Later, Brian,” Justin said, amused and confused. He heard the click of Brian hanging up the phone and then did the same. As he slid the door to his suite open he saw the trick was awake and getting dressed. “Uh… good morning?”

“I’ve gotta go, why’d you let me sleep here?” the guy asked. “Gotta find my shoes!”

Justin rolled his eyes. “I tried to fucking wake you up,” he told him, “but you passed out the moment you came and wouldn’t wake up.”

“Yes!” the trick exclaimed, locating his shoes under the bed. “Uh, yeah, so thanks, I guess.” The guy slipped his feet into his shoes and then patted his pockets, evidently checking to be sure his wallet and whatever else he carried in his pockets was still there. “See ya.”

Justin watched as the trick practically sprinted out of the room. “So much for getting this taken care of,” he sighed, rubbing his cock over the fabric. He looked down at the wrecked bed and decided against sleeping on the smelly, rumpled thing. Instead, he grabbed a spare pillow and blanket from the closet and curled up to sleep on the sofa, leaving his cell phone within reach, in case Brian decided to call again.

Monday, January 12, 2004
To:execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justin4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Hi

Brian,
Tried to call you last night after you didn’t call me, was hoping we could have some hot phone sex, maybe tonight?
The new semester of school started today and I also talked to a counselor about transferring to a school in or around Pittsburgh. At the top of my list is PIFA. The counselor is going to help me apply there and he said that with the grades and portfolio of work I have now, I should be able to get in rather easily, even though they only have a few open spots each year.
As you know, I’m only taking one class, the life-art class this semester, because it was supposed to be a four hour course. But it isn’t a four hour course. Professor Carlino is using us to test a new method of teaching it. He gave us a list of all of this quarter’s assignments to complete and we will meet again a week before spring break to turn them in and have an exhibit of them that week. The subject and media of each is up to our own interpretation of the theme of the assignment. The next quarter we’ll do the same thing, ending with a school exhibit of what he chooses as the best of our pieces that semester. The best part of this is that we can do the work at our own pace, if it doesn’t have to be done at the studio at school. No more waking up hours before to get there! I can work on the balcony or in my room, as long as I buy my own supplies and with the gas I’ll save driving to and from school, I can definitely afford them. I work so much better alone, so I’m really excited about this.
I’ll quit my blabbing now, hope we talk soon,
~Justin

 

***
 

Brian groaned when Justin’s cell phone went to voicemail. “What’s the point of having a cell phone if you never leave it on?” he griped. “I don’t want to tell you this on a fucking machine but… fuck… I’ve got to tell you something… important… call me when…”

BEEP!

“Fuck!” Brian threw his cell phone across the room and slumped back into his chair. Maybe it was better that Justin hadn’t answered the phone. No. If there were anyone he was going to tell… Justin would be the safest bet, and for some reason, Brian needed to tell him. He went in search of his cell phone which was miraculously still intact and pressed #3 speed dial once again.

The voicemail picked up again but this time Brian didn’t hesitate. “Remember when you thought one of my balls felt funny? That trick I told you about… he thought so too… there was a lump… is... Look, I have testicular cancer, but I’m going to get surgery and I’m gonna get a prosthetic and I’m going to be all right. I don’t want to have some heart to heart about it, but I thought....”

BEEP!

Brian breathed out deeply as he closed the phone and felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Justin was half a world away, he wasn’t going to smother him with bullshit optimism or give him pitiful looks. He’d be worried about him, probably, but he wouldn’t make a big deal about it the way the rest of his friends would.

 

***
 

Friday, January 30, 2004
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: What’s going on?

Brian, I’ve tried calling you a few times and I’ve left messages the last couple of weeks, but I don’t want to bug you because I know Kinnetik keeps you really busy. If you could just email me and let me know you’re all right, I’d appreciate it. If the reason you’re not answering my calls or emails is because you don’t want to stay in contact anymore, just tell me. Please? It’ll hurt, but I’d accept it, all right? I really hope it’s not that, and I know that we’ve gone a while without talking before, so it’s not like I’m upset or anything, just worried. Okay?
~Justin

 

***
 

“Do you ever have your cell phone turned on?”

 

***
 

Thursday, February 5, 2004
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Drama Queen

Justin,
Finally got my email up and running.
I’ve tried to call you, check your messages because every time I’ve gotten yours, you act like you haven’t gotten mine. There isn’t anything I can do about the time difference between Pittsburgh and Ibiza. You’ve called at times that I’ve been busy or sleeping. If I wanted you to stop calling or emailing, I’d tell you, but it’s your call if you want to continue… whatever the fuck it is we’re doing. I’ll answer your emails when I get the free time to do so, which happens to be right now.
Call me when you get this, I’ll be up for a few more hours working, but I’ll have my phone on.
~Brian

 

***
 

“Hey.”

“Hey. I saw your email!”

“Good.”

“So we’re good?”

“Didn’t you listen to any of the messages I left?” Brian asked. “By the way, you really need to change your generic greeting.”

“Brian I haven’t gotten any calls or messages from you,” Justin said. “Are you sure you called me? I don’t have a generic greeting for my voicemail. It’s me and I say, ‘You’ve called Justin Taylor, sorry I can’t…’”

“Shit,” Brian interrupted, his stomach flipping. “I’ll call you right back.”

“Wait!” Justin said. “If you don’t’ call me back in like two minutes then I’m calling you back.”

“Okay. Two minutes.” Brian hung up and went into his received calls list and checked the number that Justin had called from. It had said ‘Justin’ under contacts. He then went to his dialed calls list and scrolled to the last time he’d called Justin. He scrolled to the end of the logged calls and only saw one or two but none from the last couple weeks. He went back to the phone listing, pressed #3 and the phone rang.

“Brian? What’s wrong, are you okay?”

Brian almost screamed when he heard the groggy voice on the end of the line. “Ted?”

“Yeah…. Look, I figured you didn’t want me to bring it up at work or anything, but if these nightly calls are going to continue then maybe we should just get together and…”

“Ted, I didn’t mean to fucking call you, all right?”

“What?”

“Those messages, forget about them. They were for Justin.”

“That guy in Ibiza?” Ted asked, confused. “Why would you call to tell him… oh!”

Brian’s call waiting beeped and he looked at the screen. “I’ve got to go. Don’t breathe a fucking word of this to anyone or you’re fired, understand?”

“You got it, Bri,” Ted said.

Brian pressed send to transfer to Justin’s call. “Fuck!”

Justin laughed. “Now?”

“No… fuck… I haven’t been calling you,” Brian explained.

“Yes, I know,” Justin said. “I checked my voicemails again and my missed calls and there hasn’t been a single call from you since that night you called me drunk.”

“Right, well that’s because I’ve been calling Ted’s phone in the middle of the night.”

“And he didn’t mention this to you?”

“He probably just thought I was drunk,” Brian lied. He wondered if this time fate had intervened on his behalf and put a stop to the stupid idea that he’d had of telling Justin about the cancer.

“You didn’t talk dirty to me in those messages, did you?” Justin asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Brian joked, trying to make the heavy feeling in his heart go away.

“Did you read any of my emails because, from yours, it didn’t seem like it.”

“You never got my email telling you that Kinnetik had a virus and our mail was compromised and inaccessible until it was fixed?” Brian asked.

“No,” Justin sighed. “Must’ve gotten lost in spam or something.”

“Or something. I’m gonna go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“Oh,” Justin said, disappointed. “All right.”

“If I don’t answer my phone or emails don’t freak out, just keep me updated and I’ll get back to you.”

“That sounds very business-like,” Justin said wryly. “Brian, what’s going on? You sound a lot different than you did before you got off the phone and found out you’d been leaving messages for Ted and not me. Did you tell me something in those messages that was important?”

“I’m fine and it wasn’t anything important, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I guess you don’t feel up to phone sex, then?” Justin asked.

Brian squeezed his soft cock and imagined Justin naked, but not even that could make him sport an erection. “Not tonight. But if you jerk off, you can take pictures and send them to me… if you want to.”

“Do you want me to?” Justin asked, hesitantly.

“Yes.” Just because he couldn’t get it up, didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate sexy pictures of Justin getting off while thinking about him.

“Okay,” Justin said, a little perkier. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Later, Brian.”

Brian ended the call and grabbed his laptop. He was leaving tomorrow for surgery and doubted he’d be able to sleep. He logged onto his computer, located his picture folder and opened the file containing all the pictures he had of Justin. Some were pictures Justin sent him and there were many of the two of the them together. Brian’s eyes lingered on those the longest and just as his body gave into exhaustion, he received a new email from Justin. He wouldn’t open it tonight, he’d save it for after the surgery, it would be something to look forward to.

March 2004

Justin dialed Brian’s cell phone with one hand while his other wiped away the tears in his eyes. He put the phone to his ear and after two rings it went directly to voicemail. “After talking for three hours last night you don’t think you could’ve told me that you were cancelling your trip this year? What the fuck is going on, Brian? This is not me being a drama queen; this is me being seriously concerned and hurt. I know you’ve never promised me anything and we’re not even in a conventional relationship by any means… but just last night you let me sit there and talk to you about all the things I wanted to do with you this year… our last year here together and…”

BEEP!

Justin ended the call and then dialed it once again, determined to finish exactly what he had to say to Brian. “I thought you wanted to do those things with me too. You sure sounded like you did. What changed between last night and tonight? Were we getting too close? Yeah, that’s probably it, isn’t it? You know, I never asked you to tell me about your fucking parents, about how you feel about your son, about your friends, or any fucking thing! You decided to tell me about that stuff and now you’re just afraid to face me, now that I know the real you. That’s fucking bullshit! I think you’re a goddamn coward!”

BEEP!

“Feel better?”

Justin jumped and turned around. “Aaron, I know how you feel about him and I really don’t need you to tell me ‘I told you so’ right now.”

Aaron walked out onto the balcony, shaking his head. “Justin, do you really think that I wanted to be right?”

Justin felt like it wasn’t just his heart breaking but his entire body felt like it were shattering. “I don’t know,” he said.

Aaron put his hands on Justin’s shoulders and then drew him into his embrace. “I didn’t want to be and I thought he was pretty determined to prove me wrong, actually.”

Justin backed out of the hug and dropped down into the recliner. He looked up at Aaron and asked, “Is that why you had Matt come tell me?”

Aaron nodded and took a seat in the recliner beside Justin. “When I saw his name on the cancelations list, I thought that maybe he’d finally done it.” Aaron grimaced. “I guess I was wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Justin asked. “Did what?”

“I thought he finally realized that it was pointless to go on pretending that he came back here for any other reason than to see you. That he’d told you that he didn’t need,” Aaron pointed to the empty suite beside Justin’s, “that room and would be sharing yours.”

Justin blinked rapidly. “Do you think that’s it?” he asked hopefully. “Maybe that’s all it is. Oh shit!” He opened his cell phone. “I have to call and…”

“No,” Aaron reached over and took Justin’s cell phone. “That isn’t it. He cancelled his flight, Justin. Believe it or not, your uncle told me not to get my hopes up. He called the airlines and found out Brian cancelled his flight.”

“I don’t understand,” Justin said. “Just yesterday we were talking about going snorkeling and whale watching and he really sounded like he wanted to. He’s been so busy at work. Every night we talk he’s exhausted, but he stays on the phone with me until he’s almost asleep. He listens to me, Aaron, he encourages me and he… I really thought he loved me. But you don’t act like this… you don’t just cancel a trip without telling someone… not if you love them.”

“Or maybe you do cancel it if the reason you did is because you’re scared that you do love him,” Aaron said in a sad voice. “Maybe you were right in calling him a coward.”

“I don’t want to be right,” Justin said, tears falling now. “I mean, if he’s going to be like this… what’s he going to be like when we move there? Is he even going to want to be with me?”

Aaron shrugged. “I think you need to find that out, because I know you’ve been accepted to NYU and that might be a better place for you to be. Of course your sister, Matt and me want you in Pittsburgh with us, but it’s going to be hard going back to Pittsburgh and dealing with all the memories you have of your parents. I wouldn’t want you to have to worry about what will happen if you run into Brian too.”

“But he won’t talk to me,” Justin said. “I’ve called him like six times since you told me he wasn’t coming. Before I left him messages, I even called his work. His assistant told me he was out sick for the day and wouldn’t put me through!”

“As of today, you’re done with the semester, right?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, I was supposed to send Brian pictures of my final projects but I doubt he’s even going to care to…”

“Then go to him,” Aaron interrupted. “Show him the pictures in person if you need to.”

“Huh?”

“Take the pictures of your work to him because they’re all about him, aren’t they?”

“Yes,” Justin whispered.

“If Brian doesn’t see how much you love him and doesn’t want to accept that love from you, then he’s an idiot and he doesn’t deserve you to waste your talent or your heart on him.”

“You’re saying you want me to just go to Pittsburgh and find him? Uninvited?”

Aaron grinned. “That’s what I’m saying.”

Justin’s eyebrows crinkled together. “Did Matt put you up to this?”

“No, he didn’t. Justin, I love you like you’re my son, I want to see you happy and if that’s with Brian Kinney, then you have my blessing.”

“To just hop on a plane and go to Pittsburgh to find Brian?” Justin asked.

Aaron laughed. “Yes.” He took his cell out of his pocket and asked. “I’ve still got the number on my phone. Do you want me to call the airlines and make a reservation?”

“Yes,” Justin said adamantly.

 

***
 

After the layover in Madrid, Justin had slept the whole flight to New York. After that, he had a short layover before boarding the next plane to Pittsburgh. Daphne picked him up from the airport and they immediately drove to her apartment so Justin could shower and change clothes while they came up with a game plan.

“I know right where Kinnetik is,” Daphne said. She’d googled the address while Justin had showered. Before he’d arrived she’d tried to find an address for Brian Kinney but the only Kinney in the phone book was Joan and Justin had told her that was Brian’s mother, but that he would never go to her for help.

“But I can’t go there,” Justin said. “I know how Brian feels whenever his friends show up at his work ‘demanding his presence’ while he’s busy. I can’t do that to him.”

“But you don’t even know where he lives,” Daphne said.

“He lives in a loft, the top floor,” Justin told her.

Daphne gave Justin a blank stare. “So, we’ll just drive around the city all day and find all the lofts?”

“He lives near Liberty Avenue,” Justin said, pulling his favorite Armani exchange t-shirt over his head. He gave himself a once-over in the mirror. “Do I look all right?”

Daphne laughed. “Before you worry about how you look we need to know where to look. Even if he lives close to Liberty Avenue, in a loft, that still leaves a lot of ground to cover and he may not even be home.”

Justin sat beside Daphne on her bed and thought for a moment before a brilliant idea hit him. “You’re going to call Kinnetik for me. Tell them you’re Daphne Martinez, Vernon Martinez’s sister and that he recommended Kinnetik to you for your small start-up business. Tell them that you’ll only be in town for a day and would like to meet with Brian Kinney.”

“Who the hell is Vernon Martinez?” Daphne asked.

“He’s the guy that’s buying our resort and he’s a big client of Kinnetik’s, remember I told you about that?”

“Oh, right… well, I should have a name for my business then.”

“You won’t need one. In fact, if they ask, tell them that’s why you need help. Tell him it’s for anti-aging products or some shit, but I doubt they’ll ask. They’ll hear Vernon’s name and they’ll either get Brian on the phone with you right away, have him call you back right away or they’ll set up a meeting with you.”

“But you don’t want to go to Kinnetik,” Daphne said.

“No, that’s why you’ll suggest ‘Travis’,” Justin said. “That place still exists, right?”

“Yeah, for people who want to spend hundreds of dollars on an appetizer,” Daphne snarked.

“Which is the type of place a big client would want to meet with Brian. And I will be there instead of you.”

“Okay,” Daphne said reluctantly. “So, should I talk in an accent or something?”

“Nah, Vernon doesn’t really have one.”

Daphne picked up her cell phone, dialed Kinnetik’s number and turned it to speaker phone so Justin could hear the whole call.

“Kinnetik, this is Danielle, how may I direct your call?”

“I’d like to speak to Brian Kinney, please?” Daphne said in her best professional voice.

“I’m sorry but Mr. Kinney is unavailable to take calls at the moment,” Danielle replied. “I can take a message and he can get back to you next week.”

“Next week?” Daphne asked. “I’m sorry but I’m only in town for the day. This is Daphne Martinez, my brother, Vernon Maritinez is Mr. Kinney’s client. I was hoping I could meet with him today to discuss…”

“Oh,” Danielle interrupted.

Daphne grinned hopefully at Justin.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Martinez, but Mr. Kinney is not in the office today. He’s come down with a bout of pneumonia but if you’d like I could transfer you to his partner, Cynthia Prescott, and she can…”

“No, no,” Daphne said. “That’s all right. I’ll be back in town soon and I’ll make an appointment then.”

“Well if you know when you’ll be available I can make the appointment now.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t,” Daphne said. “But I’ll be sure to call whenever I do know. Thanks for your help. Bye.” Daphne ended the call and looked at Justin sadly. “So, he’s not at work.”

“This is the third day he’s been sick,” Justin said worriedly. “Do you really think he’s got pneumonia?”

“I don’t know, Justin,” Daphne said. “You talked to him hours before he cancelled, I doubt it would come on so fast and you said other than him sounding tired he didn’t seem sick.”

“He did have a stomach bug a few weeks ago,” Justin said, remembering the time that Brian had quickly ended a telephone call but hadn’t hit the end button and Justin heard him getting sick, heard the toilet flushing and then hearing Brian groan in pain. He’d debated staying on the line and calling out to Brian to make sure he was okay but decided upon ending the phone call and never brought it up with the man, thinking that Brian might think he was invading his privacy. Brian did end up telling him the next night that he’d caught a stomach bug and until now Justin hadn’t thought of it again. “I guess he could have developed something worse, but it just doesn’t seem right. Why wouldn’t he just tell me? It’s not like I’d be mad that he was sick. He could’ve just said he was sick and couldn’t come and I would’ve understood.”

“Maybe he’s on vacation already. Maybe he went somewhere else.” Daphne didn’t want to say it, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“No.”

“Justin, I don’t mean to be a downer, but it is a possibility.”

“Maybe he’s just sick. Maybe he does have pneumonia and he is scared of coming to Ibiza, because he’s realized he has feelings for me. Maybe that’s all it is.” Justin picked up Daphne’s phone and handed it to her. “Call Kinnetik again. Tell them you talked to your brother and he suggested you speak with Ted Schmidt if you can’t talk to Brian.”

Daphne sighed. “All right. But why this Ted guy?”

“He’s Brian’s friend and Kinnetik’s accountant. And I want you to tell him that you’d like to meet him.”

“But he’s an accountant,” Daphne said.

“A few days ago, Brian told me that Ted took over for him when he had to be in another meeting and Ted pitched to Dandy Lube and got the account for him. He’s on his way to being an ad exec, that’s what Brian said.”

“Why don’t you just talk to Cynthia? Isn’t she Brian’s partner in Kinnetik?”

“Yeah, but she’s not his friend like Ted is. If I can meet with Ted and plead my case with him, he might at least give me Brian’s address or tell me where the fuck he is if he, god forbid, isn’t still here in Pittsburgh.”

“Okay, okay,” Daphne said soothingly, dialing the number, “here goes nothing.”

 

***
 

Justin wasn’t dressed appropriately for the restaurant, but Daphne was. She looked like a million bucks and the host didn’t bat an eye when she told him that they were there to meet with Ted Schmidt. Daphne had told Ted that she would be bringing her assistant along with her, she wouldn’t leave Justin alone with Ted until she knew whether or not the man was going to help Justin. Justin was glad to have a friend who would give up her first day of college break to help him with his love life.

Justin tried to hold his head high as the host led him and Daphne toward the table where Ted Schmidt was already seated.

“Mr. Schmidt, your guests have arrived,” the host said, gesturing to Daphne and Justin. “I’ll be back to take your order in a few moments.”

Ted’s eyes were fixed on Daphne as he rose from his seat. “Ms. Martinez, it’s good to meet you.”

“You too,” Daphne said, shaking his hand.

Justin held out her chair as she sat down and then reached to shake Ted’s offered hand. “I’m…”

“Justin?” Ted gasped the name and his hand dropped away from Justin’s outstretched one. He slowly sat down in his chair and looked at Daphne and then stared at Justin.

Justin wasn’t sure how to feel about Ted recognizing him. He thought that none of Brian’s friends but Lindsay and Melanie had ever seen a picture of him. “Ted…”

Ted laughed and grabbed Justin’s hand and shook it enthusiastically. “It’s good to meet you. Brian didn’t tell me that you were Ms. Martinez’s assistant. Aren’t you still in school?”

Justin was caught completely off guard by the knowledge Ted had of his life. “Um… no I mean I am still in school but I’m on break and Ted… this meeting…” He took his seat beside Daphne. “Daphne isn’t really Vernon’s little sister and she doesn’t have a business of any kind.”

“Unless you count wanting to see your best friend happy a business,” Daphne added, smiling. “Ted, I lied to you.”

Ted looked back and forth, his brows knit together. “Is this some test Brian’s set up?” he asked.

“Brian doesn’t know I’m here,” Justin explained. “Ted, we’re sorry, we shouldn’t have used you, but I didn’t know what to do. I don’t know where Brian lives and I didn’t want to just show up at the office if I didn’t have to. He won’t answer my calls and I just don’t believe him having pneumonia is the reason he suddenly cancelled his trip to Ibiza.”

Ted frowned as he took in what Justin told him. “So, you arranged a meeting with me to…”

“I need you to help me,” Justin said. “I don’t know what you know about me and Brian, but I guess you know a little more than he’s told his other friends…”

“He doesn’t even remember telling me about the real you,” Ted cut in.

“The real Justin?” Daphne asked. “What does that mean?”

“Brian’s told everyone about Justin, in stories, at least up until recently. We all thought he was just a friend. But one night when I was over at Gus’ mother’s house, Melanie let it slip that Brian had gone to see you for New Year’s Eve and he’d told the rest of us that he was going to Mexico. He didn’t want anyone to know that you, Justin, were more than just a friend.”

“Why?” Daphne asked, angrily. “Is he embarrassed of him or something?”

“No,” Justin and Ted told her together.

“I told you how he is,” Justin said. “He just didn’t want anyone to spoil what was going on with us. He doesn’t look at relationships the way most people do.”

“Except now he’s spoiling it,” Daphne pointed out.

“I’m completely lost,” Ted said. “What happened between you two? Why are you here and why doesn’t Brian know?”

“He cancelled his vacation,” Justin told him. “We were talking about it three days ago and a few hours later, my uncles who own the resort told me he cancelled the trip. I tried calling him on his cell, at home and at Kinnetik and he won’t return my calls. He didn’t sound sick when I talked to him. He sounded tired, he’s been really tired lately, but if he really does have pneumonia, why wouldn’t he just tell me? It’s not like I’d be mad that he was sick and couldn’t make it.”

Ted’s face paled. “I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?” Justin asked and swallowed thickly. “Why did he cancel, Ted?”

“I can’t tell you,” Ted said softly, running his hands through his hair. “You need to talk to him.”

“Is he with someone else?” Justin asked. “Because if he is, I don’t want to talk to him. If he’s found someone here, I don’t even want him to know that I was…”

“He doesn’t have anyone,” Ted said quickly. “He’s talked about you, a lot. Justin, you’ve got to understand that I’ve promised him that I wouldn’t tell anyone and I have to keep my promise to him. I owe him that. I know you know what Brian has done for me this year, he told me that he told you about my addiction.”

“Yes,” Justin said, his head spinning. “So, he’s here in Pittsburgh?”

“Yes,” Ted said. He stood up from the table and motioned for Justin and Daphne to get up. “I’ll show you where he lives. I just stopped by there to drop off some work stuff before coming here, so I know he’s home. You need to talk to him.” He glanced at Daphne. “But I think you need to go alone.”

Daphne opened her purse and handed Justin her keys. “You can take my car,” she glanced at Ted, “do you think you can drop me off at my apartment?”

“Of course,” Ted said. “And as far as we’re concerned, this meeting never took place.”

“I can’t lie to him,” Justin said as they walked out of the restaurant.

“You’re right,” Ted agreed. “Just do me a favor and do whatever you can to make him not fire me.”

“I’ll do my best,” Justin said. He only hoped that his best would be good enough for Brian, because he would fight for him. But he was worried about what exactly he had to contend with, because, from Ted’s insinuation, the reason Brian had cancelled was something big and something really bad.
 

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