Wyrd
Chapter 3: “Wait for Me”
Oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time, and time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much, are you still mine?
I need your love, I need your love
God speed your love to me
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home, wait for me
Oh, my love, my darling I've hungered, hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love ~ By The Righteous Brothers
***
Monday, April 21, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Fashion Crisis Aversion
Justin,
Hopefully you haven’t offed yourself waiting to hear back from me. If you are
still alive, I hope you haven’t regressed to wearing Old Navy Cargos and Target
t-shirts. I’m not sure why you felt the need to give me any advice, but judging
from the time you sent the email, I am inclined to believe that I succeeded in
fucking your brains out. I always do what I want, so if you have some
insane idea that I do not, I will hope that has vanished now that you’ve had
some time to recover from the best sex of your life.
I do not know if I would’ve responded to your email right
away, had I gotten it the day you sent it, but your e-mail never reached my
inbox and was redirected to my spam. The only reason I saw it today was because
I needed to do something mundane, which included reorganizing my email folders
while I waited for my third cup of coffee to hit me. Last night my friends
insisted on taking me out to celebrate my birthday and the only thing that made
it the least bit exciting was tequila shots.
So, did your Professor’s vacation make her less of a bitch? If not, then just
remind yourself anytime that she acts like a cunt to you, that all the
negativity is a compliment, because she is insanely jealous of your talents. I’m
sure some of your Professors may critique your work with the intention of
helping you grow as an artist, but you’re pretty fucking smart, so I’m sure
you’ll recognize that when it happens. Only, make sure that the bitch doesn’t
make you shut down; you want to open yourself up for critiques, even though in
the end it won’t make any difference what your teachers think of your work,
unless they’re putting you into a show or giving you a recommendation, create
for yourself first.
There is something that I have yet to discuss that is quite dire, Mr. Taylor. I
hasten to inform you that eloquence in one’s speech and writing is not a sign of
romanticism, nor is the Regency time period making a comeback. Alas, I must
borrow another minute of your precious time and inform you of the ill ease your
missive is causing me to endure. The unnamable in my nether region shrunk to
undesirable proportions, my stomach heaved and I took fright for some time,
unable to think of anything but the terrible accusations of which you made of
me.
Please, if you do intend to continue our correspondence, keep all references to
the time of Fitzwilliam Darcy to yourself. For a well-educated twat, you can say
some stupid shit. I’m eloquent, that’s all. If you’d prefer for me to write you
in shorthand, the course was required in college and I aced it, but I’d rather
write to you in the language in which I speak.
~Brian Kinney
Saturday, April 26, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Ridiculous Romanticism
Brian,
I had to Google Fitzwilliam Darcy. The fact that you knew the full name of a
character who is mostly referred to as ‘Mr. Darcy’, shows that you must have a
hidden love for Jane Austen and the romantic Regency period. I think it may be
you alone who is hoping for a comeback of this period. Maybe then you will feel
free to express your inner hopeful romantic self? LOL!
The summaries of the Jane Austen novels sounded interesting and I don’t think
it’s acceptable for a person with my level of knowledge to not have read even
one them. I remedied this by going online and buying every book and also the BBC
movies. Daphne is coming to visit a week after term ends to celebrate her
birthday. I plan to have all the novels read by then and I’m sure Daphne will
love to watch the movies with me. Unlike you, I do not think the books I read or
movies I watch have that big of an influence on my character as a person, nor my
wants and dreams. Certainly, there are actors who have inspired me, but just
because I may enjoy romantic comedies or romantic dramas, it does not mean that
I would enjoy my life being one.
No fucking way.
Professor Santario came back from Mexico even higher strung than when she left.
I wanted to die when she told the class that we were to channel the Aztecs and
create a mixed media piece based on the three days of lectures where she droned
on and on about all the Aztec sites. The slides she showed us were actually
pretty interesting but I was constantly mentally correcting her dictation on
them because she had so many of them wrong. I considered speaking out, but I
don’t think I’d pass her class if I undermined her in front of everyone. I feel
bad for the students who don’t know Aztec culture though and have no idea how
wrong she is about most of the shit she’s been ‘teaching’. The project is our
final one for the class and I’m about halfway finished with it. I’ve taken your
advice, (because I’m open to doing such things from those I respect) and I’m
creating for myself first. I’ve made sure that my ideas fall into the
specifications Santario asked for, but I’m not going to dumb down my talents
just because she doesn’t usually ‘get’ my art.
I hope you enjoyed your birthday, wish I could’ve been there to help you
celebrate. I do know you’re weird about aging, I suppose when I’m as OLD as you
are, I might be sensitive about it too, but I bet you loved every moment of your
celebration. So what did you do? Or should I say who? I know it must suck going
back to fucking average guys all the time after you had the best sex of your
life here with me, and countless other hot men, but you know where that is if
you want it. That is, if you even have sex anymore now that you’ve forgotten the
name for your cock.
Brian… say it with me C-O-C-K, one more time, C-O-C-K! Nether regions? The
unnamable? You’re worrying me. Please send a reply that is filled with filthy
words and if you’re feeling generous, a nice picture of your dick? Please?
~Justin
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: What You’ve Been Missing
Attachment-C-O-C-K.jpeg
Justin,
Shit. Piss. Cock. Suck. Fuck. Rim. Jizz. Spunk. Dick. Asshole. Buttfuck.
You’re a slut for cock and next time I see you I’m gonna fuck your mouth with my
dick so hard you’ll be drooling and choking on it while you come in your pants.
Is that filthy enough for you, nasty boy?
~Brian
P.S. Any replies without receiving your contribution picture first will be
ignored.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: As Requested
Attachment-Rim.jpeg
Brian,
After you jerk off, I want you to rub it all over your chest and then lick your
fingers clean. Brian, I miss you and I want so badly to be on my knees sucking
you right now. It’d be just like you said, only I’d probably come in my pants
just from watching you take your dick out of your pants. I’d stay hard the whole
time I sucked you and wait to come again until you could fuck me properly.
Christ, I’ll admit it. I haven’t had a good fuck since you left and I did
something completely stupid which I’m not going to tell you about in this email
because I don’t want anything to spoil your orgasm.
Missing you and yeah also missing the best sex of my life.
~Justin
Thursday, May 29, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Something Stupid
Justin,
I saw the picture first, you didn’t ruin my orgasm, but you ruined the fucking
afterglow that never happened. What the fuck kind of stupid thing did you do?
I’m guessing it has to do with sex, because you were talking about sex when you
said it. Write me back immediately and tell me what the fuck it is that you did,
because my mind is coming up with thousands of possibilities and none of them
are good.
Fuck you!
Saturday, May 31, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Nothing THAT stupid!
Brian,
Don’t worry, I didn’t and would NEVER fuck anyone without a condom. Yours is the
only cock I’ve ever even sucked without one and the odds of getting something
passed that way are pretty slim, but please don’t worry. I’m okay; my health is
fine, no STDs and nothing bad happened to me. I’m so fucking sorry for worrying
you. I shouldn’t have said a fucking thing until I was ready to explain it.
While Daphne was here visiting she asked me for a special 21st birthday present.
I was a twenty-year-old virgin (partially) and even with all the fucking I’d
done, I definitely felt like I was behind the rest of my peers until I had sex
with you. It seems stupid writing that down, but it’s true. I knew I wanted it
to be you, you know that, but I didn’t know when or if that was ever going to
happen.
Anyway, when we were younger Daphne and I promised one another that if we were
still virgins by her 21st birthday (she’s nine months older than me), that we’d
lose our virginities to one another. Oh my god, the more of this explanation I
write, the stupider I feel. How childish is making a sex pact? I guess it didn’t
feel so stupid when we were fourteen.
I did try to get out of it, I am after all, not a virgin, but Daphne insisted
that was all the more reason why she wanted her first time to be with me. She
said that I knew what it was like to be the one losing my virginity so she could
trust me to go slow. So I did it. I fucked my best friend. I fucked a girl. I
actually had sex with a woman!
I don’t know if you’ve ever had sex with a woman, but for me it was really weird
and the only reason I got hard was because she gave me a blowjob first and was
pretty good at it. I also had to think of fucking you, which made me feel like
total shit the whole time. I got off, so did she, twice actually, but as soon as
we were finished I was overwhelmed with the feeling of betrayal.
It’s been three days since then, Daphne left yesterday and things between us
after were pretty normal and mirrored all our other visits. I think she is less
affected by it than I am. I just can’t figure out why I feel like this.
So that’s the stupid thing I did. Again, I’m sorry for worrying you; I’ll never
leave you a message like that again.
~Justin
Thursday, June 5, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Fucking a woman who is your best friend
Justin,
I have fucked a woman and like you, she was also my best friend. In college I
had sex with Lindsay. She didn’t lose her virginity to me and I think it may
have been different from your experience with Daphne, because we were both
experimenting with the opposite sex when we knew that we were homosexuals. Even
though we both got off, it didn’t erase how incredibly wrong it felt. It was a
long time ago, and though we had more than one encounter, I don’t remember too
much about it except that I knew each time we had sex that I preferred sex with
men.
Lindsay was a bit clingy after we stopped fucking around, even after she met
Melanie, but things eventually went back to normal. I have no idea why we did it
more than once. Her take on it is that we both wanted to be different from our
parents and had no idea how to get what we wanted beyond that. Behaving like
that was extremely childish and not something I’m proud of but I don’t regret
it.
As long as your relationship with Daphne didn’t change I don’t think you should
regret what you did. You gave her what she wanted and probably made her feel a
lot better than she would’ve if she gave it up to some random asshole. I know
there are homosexuals out there that have never and will never know what it is
like to fuck someone of the opposite sex. My best friend Mikey hasn’t ever had
sex with a woman and I know he never will.
Fuck, I’m no psychiatrist but I think maybe you feel like you betrayed your
proud homo self or something, because you slept with a woman. I don’t think you
did; because fucking a chick once or twice isn’t that all uncommon for gay men,
so don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sure you’re still the best homosexual
you could possibly be.
~Brian
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Betrayal
Brian,
I read your email a few times before things really sunk in for me and you were
right. I feel a lot better now and I don’t regret it. I’ve talked to Daphne a
lot since she went home and things with us are good. I’d feel even better though
if you’d come visit me and fuck my brains out on the beach this summer.
Any big plans for your summer? Nico is back for the summer and we are going
snorkeling tomorrow and then we’re going out on Aaron’s boat to look at the grey
whales that are migrating through the Mediterranean right now. I wish you could
see them. They’re these amazingly massive creatures that are the definition of
majestic beauty. It’s going to be so much fun, I can’t wait!
Do you miss me?
~Justin
Friday, June 27, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Yeah, I do
Justin,
I have no big plans for the rest of summer, the only tanning I’ll be doing will
be at an indoor spa because I’ve got a new client who requires constant
attention. But I did get a little sun two weeks ago. I had to go to Orlando to
meet with a client so I soaked up some sun there. Lindsay was taking her week of
vacation at the same time, so I took her and Gus with me for the weekend. She
took him to Sea World while I was working and Gus had a lot of fun. He now is
the proud owner of a large stuffed Free Willy Shark. I bet he’d love to go on
Aaron’s boat and see the whales. Do me a favor and take some pictures and send
them to me so that I can show Gus?
Take care of yourself,
~Brian
Wednesday, July 2, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Whales
Attachment-Boat-Trip-With-Whales.zip
Brian,
I couldn’t decide what pictures to include from the day we went whale watching
so I just put a bunch of my favorites in a folder. We had such an amazing day.
Nico and I didn’t go snorkeling as planned because Matt and Aaron convinced us
to leave early and go fishing instead. I suck at fishing, but everyone else is
good at it and Matt caught a pretty big Mahi Mahi that Aaron grilled up on the
deck of the boat. You can see the size of the thing in the pictures, Matt was
quite proud of himself as was everyone else who caught fish but theirs were too
small so they threw them back. Molly brought along her friend Henry, she totally
has a crush on him but manages to act normal around him and the kid seems to
like her just as much as she likes him. While Matt and Aaron cooked, Nico,
Henry, Molly and I went swimming in the sea. Then we ate the amazing meal and at
sunset we got our first glimpse of the whales. I’ve seen them before but never
have they come so close to our boat. I could’ve leaned over the side of the boat
and touched them! If Gus had fun at Sea World I bet he’d love to see the whales
and all the other sea creatures in their natural habitat.
By the way, Free Willy was an orca, a.k.a. ‘Killer Whale’, not a shark. Though I
know they can be just as vicious as and even more dangerous than sharks. Did Gus
watch the show at Sea World where the orca does tricks? Did he get to see the
dolphin show too?
As amazing as it can be to live in paradise, sometimes I miss living in the
States. I really miss celebrating the 4th of July, having barbecues in our
backyard, roasting marshmallows by the fire and watching the fireworks. I bet
you’ll be doing that with Gus tomorrow so have fun!
Take care,
~Justin
Friday, July 25, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Busy, Busy
Justin,
I’ve got a lot going on right now. I planned a reply with pictures for my next
email to you but don’t have the time right now. You’re starting back at school
in a few weeks right? Make use of those swim trunks and sunscreen until then.
~Brian
Friday, August 22, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Homesick
Attachment-Me-on-the-beach.jpeg
Brian,
It’s been almost a month since your last email and I guess I just need someone
to talk to so even if you can’t read this or your other emails and reply right
away, that’s okay. They’ll be here when you can and so will I.
I’ve come to the realization that I don’t like my friends, except Nico and
Daphne, but they aren’t here in Ibiza. I promised myself that, this school year,
I wouldn’t be antisocial and I’d take my friends up on their offers to study
together or hang out at the bar near campus with them, but I’m bored with them
already. It probably isn’t normal, and I’m okay with that, but something must be
wrong with me if I’d rather be home watching TV than out partying with them.
Am I just a big asshole? I don’t mean to be but it’s just that most
conversations my new group of friends have seem so inconsequential to real life.
I don’t care to listen to the same five stories they all tell about their summer
vacation in Italy and I don’t believe them when they say they wish I’d gone,
because in the next sentence they tell me what a ‘bummer’ I am. I have nothing
to add to most of their conversations and even when we’re discussing classes or
art, my opinions on both are so much different that half of the time I just
don’t say anything at all because I don’t think they care to listen to me,
because, whenever I’ve tried, they talk over me. Sometimes they’ll start
speaking Spanish and though I speak it too, I don’t speak it well enough to keep
up when they talk really fast and I feel like a complete outsider.
I miss home and I miss Daphne and Nico and even though I didn’t have many
friends when I lived in the U.S. and probably felt like an outsider there too, I
didn’t feel the way I do now. Aaron has noticed I’m depressed and he and Matt
have tried to cheer me up but no matter how hard they try, I just can’t get out
of this funk. I’m homesick and now that school has started there is no way I can
go back and visit, at least not until fall break. Sorry for laying all this on
you, I just really needed to get this off my chest.
I hope things are okay with you and that you’re not working too hard, but, I
guess because you’ve not had time to respond yet, that you probably are.
Hope to hear from you soon!
~Justin
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Good News
Brian,
I’ve been selected to be in the student art show even though the spots are
usually reserved for seniors. I’m the only junior who was chosen and I’ll be
submitting two paintings and three sketches. Professor Pelion, the one
sponsoring the show, is also my instructor for my classical form class and he’s
given some of the best assignments I’ve had since starting at Romero. I’ve been
really inspired the last week and the depression I felt is mostly gone. I also
made a new friend, her name is Julianne. She’s an international student in the
study abroad program from San Diego, California and reminds me a lot of Daphne.
She’s a senior and is going to have her work in the show too, so we’ve been
scheduling our studio time together and even though it’s only been a week since
we’ve been hanging out, I think we’re going to be good friends.
Jesus, I sure sound like a dork! Feel free to laugh at me.
I’ve been thinking. There are places in Ibiza where you and Gus could stay that
would be more appropriate for him than the resort if you ever did want to bring
him here with you when you visit. Though in the off season we do have a lot of
families stay here. There’s a lot of fun stuff we could do with him on the
island. I know he’s only two (or has he turned three now?) and he might be a
handful to take care of alone, but I’d help and so would Molly.
I know we agreed not to give details about our lives, but really, we do all the
time. So I have a question for you, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t
want to, but I really hope you do.
Have you told your friends or Gus about me and do they know we’re friends?
Take care,
~Justin
Friday, September 5, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Friends
Attachment-Gus.jpeg Attachment-Gus-Bday.jpeg Attachment-Gus-&-Dada.jpeg
Congratulations on the art show, seems your hard work is already paying off and
I’m glad you’ve made a friend. It’s okay that you’re a big dork; it wasn’t as if
I didn’t already know that about you.
Gus actually turned three the day you sent your email. The first pic is him
playing with his train set at my loft. The kid is obsessed with trains which is
why in the second picture you can see Lindsay went a little overboard with the
train theme for his party. Gus loved being dressed as a conductor but I wanted
to kill Linds for buying him that damn whistle because he wouldn’t stop blowing
it and ordering people around. Gus is a handful, you got that right. I don’t
think I’d ever want to take him on a trip alone and definitely not to Ibiza if I
did. Even if I wanted to, Mel and Linds wouldn’t let that happen.
Gus loved the pictures you sent of the whales and he’s labeled you, ‘Pretty
Boy’, which is accurate with the exception of those disgusting shorts you’re
wearing in one of the pics. You could fit ten of your legs in one leg hole and
they were so long they looked like Capris. I saw Molly was with you. Tell her
I’m disappointed that she allowed you to go out looking like that. The other
pics, the ones where you’re in your swim trunks, those were much more enjoyable
to look at and the one with you naked on the beach was hot. Of course I didn’t
show anyone those.
As for your question, yes, my friends know about you, but only Linds, Mel and
Gus have seen your picture. I think I probably mentioned you first to the guys
when I told them about you and me fucking those two studs together in the
backroom. No doubt from the stories I’ve told they think you’re some big beefy
Spanish Adonis top.
I acquired a client who is much different than those I usually work for and I’m
so busy with him that I barely even have time to go out and find a good fuck.
Fuck anyone worth telling me about?
~Brian
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Art Show
Brian,
I’m so freaking nervous! Friday is the opening of the student art show! Sorry,
I’ll stop with the exclamation points now… maybe. Even though Professor Pelion
loves what I’ve submitted, he’s only one opinion. I’ve never had my work on
display for the public the way it will be on Friday and I’m so anxious about
what people are going to think. It’s going to be really intense. I’ll let you
know how it goes.
I love the pictures of Gus. He looks just like you and he’s so lucky to have you
in his life. I’ll take some pictures of the show and send them to you in my next
email. Good luck with work and tricks. No one here worth writing about, what
about you?
~Justin
Sunday, November 2, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Nervous
Justin,
I’m sure you did just fine opening night. How long does the show last? I’m
thinking that because you didn’t send a frantic email Friday night that, once
you got there and people saw your work, that you realized you didn’t have
anything to be nervous about? Take some pictures of them and send them to me.
Believe it or not but I too have been afflicted with a case of apprehension,
which, given what you do know about me, you’d know that feeling nervous is
entirely out of character. I told you that I took on an important client that
I’d also been donating a lot of my free time to and recently… due to
circumstances that I cannot ignore… I’ve had to reevaluate my support of his
‘product’. I’ve done all I can to help rectify my involvement with him, but I
don’t know if what I’ve done will be enough and if it isn’t… well, I definitely
won’t be getting any from the fags in this burg for a long time and my friends
probably won’t even want to be seen with me. Now who is the asshole?
The client is seeking Mayoral office and even though I am no longer working for
him, or for the agency I was once a partner in, the man is a homophobe and a
criminal and I helped further his political campaign and also helped him look
more appealing to the gay voters. At the time that I took his campaign on, I
knew the man was an asshole but I had no idea that he was as bad as he is. But
you know what they say about ignorance being no excuse and let’s face it: the
money I was raking in was a damn good deterrent for my conscience.
I’m now in debt because I’ve spent over 100,000 dollars on various ads and also
on a TV spot that exposes his involvement in a teenage hustler’s murder, hoping
to convince any voters I’d swayed to vote for him to now see him as who he truly
is and vote against him. I haven’t told my friends that it is me alone who are
‘the concerned citizens for the truth’ - the group who acknowledges they paid
for the ads, but they believe that I donated a large amount of money to them.
Hopefully, if the asshole loses, my friends and the fags in this burg will see
my contribution as a bit of retribution but it might be too little too late.
So this is me. I’m a fucking asshole who nearly jumped off a cliff
to follow another asshole toward his promised hidden treasures without caring
about what it would mean to my community, my morals, or my personal
relationships. Fuck! I’m debating on whether or not I should even send this to
you because I sound so damn whiney, but I’m too stoned to care about that right
now.
Don’t forget to email me pictures, and if you see this before Tuesday… crossing
your fingers couldn’t hurt.
~Brian
Monday, November 3, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Crossing My Fingers & Big News
Attachment-Slideshow-Student-Art-.ppt</u> <u>Attachment-Fingers-Crossed.jpg
Brian,
You sounded so melancholy (was it just the weed talking?) in your last email. I
do understand why you’re upset, but I wish you’d give yourself a break. You
didn’t follow the asshole over the cliff, you stepped away. And then, the most
important detail in my opinion, you’ve risked your entire financial future and
stability to make up for it. I know there is a lot you’re not even telling me
that you must’ve given up to do what is right and that is what is important. You
are sacrificing everything for what you believe in and no matter what anyone
thinks, no matter the results of the election, it wasn’t too little or too late,
because you stepped up and did something!
I will definitely be crossing my fingers for you and I really think you should
consider telling your friends the truth about ‘The Concerned Citizens for the
Truth’. Maybe if they know, (especially Emmett since you did say he was a gossip
queen, right?) no matter the results of the election, at least people will
recognize that you fucking gave everything you could for the cause. I’m sure any
trick with a brain or an ass that needs the best fucking of its life, will
forgive you for your minor lapse in judgment. If they don’t… well you know where
I am. *grinning evilly here*
The student art show at Romero runs throughout this week, ending next Saturday
night. I have taken some pictures of what I’ve got hanging. Two paintings, three
sketches (one of you, so don’t be surprised when you see it), and two charcoal
drawings. Each one of these has already been sold but will be available for
viewing until the show ends. All but one of my professors love my work (one
guess as to the one who does not), and my abstract painting was even featured on
the page of the Arts section of the Ibiza Times newspaper along with an
interview I did on Friday night. I was still pretty damn nervous all night so
talking to the reporter wasn’t easy. I think it turned out well though. If you
want, you can google Ibiza Times and read their weekend edition online to check
it out. You speak Spanish really well so I’m sure you can read it just fine.
I have some rather big news to tell you. I’m still not sure how I feel about it,
but I think it’s going to be a good thing. Matt and Aaron have been talking
about selling the resort ever since Molly and I moved here and yesterday they
met with a man who wants to buy it. It isn’t set in stone yet, but Matt told me
that the guy offered above asking price and that they are probably going to take
it. Aaron wants to buy a villa here with some of the cash they get from the
deal, but they want to buy a permanent home in the States. So… this spring break
may be the last one that we’re here.
I keep going back and forth about my feelings on the move because, as homesick
as I am for the U.S., there are also a lot of memories, good and bad, that I’ve
not had shoved in my face every day. Being here has made it a little easier to
deal with the death of my parents, because we were never here together but I
know that when I go home, I’m going to be reminded of them everywhere I go. I
don’t know how I’ll be able to handle being home after so long and seeing all
the places I went to with my parents and live there once again, without them.
Molly is gung-ho for it, mostly because Henry started dating one of her best
friends and she wants to get away from them. Still, she’s the most resilient kid
I’ve ever met and she makes friends easily, so I know she’ll be fine when we go
back, but the memories are going to be hard for her to face too. I’m sure Nico
and Julianne will miss me, but Julianne graduates this year and Nico isn’t even
around unless it’s during the summer so if we were here next year too, I’d feel
even lonelier than I do now. How pathetic am I?
Matt says that if they buy a Villa here, it’ll be for all four of us to use, so
I can come back here whenever I want to, maybe even spend summers here if I’m
able. However, leaving a daily paradise and a Gay Mecca isn’t going to be easy,
especially because we’ll be going back to a place that seems quite dreary most
of the year. If Aaron and Matt sell the resort, which I’m almost certain they
will, we’ll be moving during the summer so that Molly will be settled in time to
start school. I still have a year and a half left before I complete my Bachelors
in Arts Degree so I’ll have to start applying to schools to complete my final
year. It’s going to be an emotionally hectic move if it does happen.
Wishing for the best,
~Justin
Tuesday, November 4, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: BIG NEWS!
Justin,
The results came in about a few hours ago and my ex-client was beaten in a
landslide victory! It’s almost hard to believe. I took your advice and I did let
slip the fact that I was the sole provider of ‘The Concerned Citizens for the
Truth’ and as you predicted, the gossip spread fast. There was dancing in the
streets during the victory celebration and quite a few tricks, all of them fresh
meat, were once again vying for my expertise. After giving a little more of
myself, I went home and now I’m having a quiet celebration. So (lifting a glass
in toast) here is to me. I may be 100,000 dollars in debt and jobless, but at
least we fucking won this one.
I’m not surprised that your work sold so quickly. Congratulations! Next time I
see you I think we should go out and celebrate both of our accomplishments. I am
a little peeved though that the painting titled Gregarious, has already been
sold because I would’ve loved to have bought that one. Not that I could afford
it right now… but it would’ve fit perfectly in my loft. As for your big news, it
sounds like it’s definitely going to be life-altering for you, but maybe now
that some time has passed you will find it easier to go back home and deal with
the memories? You seem resilient, so I’m sure you’ll do fine if you do have to
transfer schools and you might just like the new one better than Romero.
~Brian
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
To: execbrikin@netmail.com
From: justinit4theart@netmail.com
Subject: Moving
Brian,
It’s official; Aaron and Matt are selling the resort. The new owner, who owns a
dozen other gay friendly luxury resorts around the world, will take possession
officially in the middle of June. It’s only been a couple of days, but already
Matt has enlisted me to start looking at homes and apartments to buy. I have
money from my parent’s life insurance, so I’ll be getting an apartment
somewhere, but we’re focusing on looking for a place for them first. I know that
Aaron has wanted to sell the resort and move to the States for a while, but he’s
taking it much better than I thought he would be. This is the only place he’s
ever called home, he and Matt met here. Sure, they’re going to buy a vacation
home and he’ll get to come back to see his family, but I thought he’d be at
least a little sad about leaving, but he isn’t.
Matt told me that one of the reasons he thinks I’m so sad about moving is
because this spring will be the last time you and I will see one another. I
don’t expect you to tell me otherwise or make future plans with me, but he may
be right about why I’m sad to leave. I think you’re right and the time away that
I’ve had will make it easier to deal with the memories of my parents once I get
back, but I’ve also made some really good ones here in Ibiza with Molly, my
uncles, my friends and you, and I don’t want them to disappear. I know this
isn’t what you want to hear from me, we’re not in a relationship and we’ve never
talked about seeing one another away from Ibiza, but I can’t help but hope that
we will. I really hope that me saying this doesn’t stop you from coming here
again. I miss you and even if we only have one more time together, I will
understand and promise not to act like a clingy idiot while you’re here.
On a totally different and much happier note, I am so glad that things worked
out with the election. Congratulations! Do you have any job prospects yet
because I think you should do what you told me when you were here and start your
own agency. I know how much you hated not being your own boss and you’re
brilliant, so I bet you could manage it and maybe take some of your old clients
with you. I guess being in debt, it might be hard to do that, but knowing how
creative you are, I’m sure you could figure out a way.
If you do start your own agency, I have a suggestion for the name. It came to me
last night while I was having a drink at the bar and I wrote it down on a napkin
so I wouldn’t forget.
KINNETIK
What do you think? Personally, I think it’s a genius idea, but who knows. At
this point you might have already been offered another job or have your own
ideas for a name for your agency if you go in that direction.
I’m working on a project with Julianne for school and she’s going to be here
soon and my room is a disgusting mess. I took a really hot guy home last night,
but while I was fucking him, he couldn’t control himself and now there is a come
stain on the arm of the sofa so I’ve got to do something to get that cleaned
before Julianne gets here.
P.S. New pics of you would be really, really nice next time and I promise to
reciprocate.
~Justin
Saturday, December 20, 2003
To: justinit4theart@netmail.com
From: execbrikin@netmail.com
Subject: Suggestions
Justin,
I must admit, you are a clever devil. Two weeks ago was the official launch
party of Kinnetik Inc., after many long days and nights of working my ass off to
make it happen in such a short time period. It was nowhere near easy, but I
managed to get some of my most wealthy and important clients to move their
business to Kinnetik, assuring each one that because Kinnetik is a boutique
operation, their account would be at the top of the list. That alone didn’t sway
them, but eventually, due entirely to my brilliance, I was able to get them to
sign with Kinnetik and through their initial contract fees, and some donations
to ‘the concerned citizens’, I am now my own boss. The bullshit that has gone
along with that is going to take some time to adjust to and there’s still a lot
to do, but it’s already paying off.
Kinnetik has also secured an international account, so I will be doing some
travelling for that as soon as all of Kinnetik’s New Year campaigns are set to
launch. Even though we weren’t officially open for business, my assistant and I
did a lot of revamping of our clients’ previous holiday campaigns and the
profits are raking in for them and us.
No doubt I’d miss living in Ibiza too, but you’ll be able to return to it, so
stop feeling depressed about leaving and go out and enjoy your time there. As
you can see, I did not include any pictures because I have two suggestions for
you.
1: To get come stains out of upholstery use a bristled brush and club soda.
2: Stop jerking off to my pictures ten times a day and get ready for the real
thing. We launch the New Year campaigns on December 26th, and I’ll have to stick
around for the weekend to be sure they run smoothly but I see no reason why I
can’t use the ticket I’ve booked for a flight to Ibiza in the afternoon on the
29th, as long as weather permits.
I do expect you to send the pictures though, as I’m sure you’ve already taken
them and I wouldn’t want them to go to waste.
~Brian
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