Scrooged

Chapter 3 "I Want to Show Him"



 

“I don’t want to be that man, Vic,” Brian said passionately. “Justin made me a better man. He’ll make me a better one. I want to go back. I want to live so that I can prove to Justin that I love him.”

“You love him?” Vic asked hugging Brian. He knew Brian loved Justin but he wanted Brian to make the declaration. “You really love him, do you?”

“I do. I want to tell him. I want to show him,” Brian pleaded. “I want the chance. I want another chance. I’m not afraid, Vic. I’m not afraid of having a future with Justin. I don’t want him to have any future without me. I want to tell him I love him.”

“Then you should, Brian,” Vic said softly.

“I want to...” Brian felt tingling come through his body more forceful than it had been before. His eyes swam into blackness and there was no white fuzz now, only black. Vic disappeared from his vision and Brian could no longer feel his arms around him.

He heard buzzing but then, he heard Justin’s voice. He felt warm lips on his own. When they broke away from his, Brian’s vision cleared and he saw Justin’s tear-streaked face above his. ”Justin,” he spoke. He blinked a few times and took in a deep breath. He spoke louder, “Justin.”

Justin looked at Brian in wonder. ”You’re …. Shit, Brian! You’re alive! Oh god, Brian! I knew you wouldn’t leave me. I knew you wouldn’t. I knew you’d be here for me.” Justin hugged Brian tightly. He cried into his chest and whimpered repeatedly, “I love you, Brian.”

A surge of intense warmth ran through Brian’s body. ”I love you too, Justin.” The words, somehow, came naturally to Brian’s tongue. The words were only whispers loud enough for Justin to hear and he wanted to say it again.

Justin’s head popped up from Brian’s chest and he looked down at Brian and smiled a watery, bright smile. An indecipherable sound came out of Justin’s throat, but it pretty much expressed his surprise and disbelief at hearing the man’s words.

Brian stared into Justin’s eyes. “I love you.”

“You... you love me?” Justin asked breathlessly.

Brian slowly started to sit up. He wanted to take Justin into his arms, comfort him, hold him and never let him go.

“Whoa! Brian, be careful,” Justin, admonished worriedly.

Brian smiled and thought about how easily it seemed his strength began returning to his body. “I’m fine Sunny-boy. I feel great.” He ran his hands over Justin’s face, wiped away Justin’s tears, and then searched out Justin’s right hand to hold it. “I feel amazing.”

Justin’s eyes widened in reaction to Brian’s words, he couldn’t believe that the Doctor’s had declared Brian dead and Brian was there telling him he was great! “You feel amazing?” Justin asked disbelievingly. “You were in a coma and… and… you died, Brian. Just a few minutes ago, they took you off life support. Michael had them do it and I watched as they called your time of death.”

“I'm sorry you had to see that.” Brian sat up and took Justin into his arms, feeling better than he ever had.

“Maybe I’m hallucinating?” Justin said in a horrified voice.

Brian laughed, “Don’t go pinching your tender skin.” He traced his fingers down Justin’s neck, down his chest and rested his hand on top of Justin’s groin.

“Brian?” Justin whispered. His body reacted to Brian’s caress.

Brian softly squeezed Justin’s cock through the boy’s track pants. “I’m here. Do you feel me?”

Justin shuddered out his words, “Yes Brian. I feel you.” He grabbed Brian hand, brought it toward his face, and kissed his palm.

“I feel great and very much alive,” Brian said softly. He brushed his hand along Justin’s cheek, “I need to tell you something, Justin.”

“What, Brian? Whatever it is, you’d better hurry. If someone finds me in here, they’ll have me arrested. Michael told them not to allow me in here. But I’ve been coming anyways,” Justin admitted.

Brian rolled his eyes. ”They’ll probably all freak out when they find their patient alive, Justin,” he laughed. ”But I don’t care what Michael says. I’m awake now and I only want you here with me right now. I never should have given Mikey P.O.A. It should have been you, because you are my partner. You are the one that should be taking care of me. You’re the one that should have any kind of power over me, besides my son of course. I’m sure you wouldn’t have ever pulled the plug, would you have?”

“No, Brian, never,” Justin whispered, kissing along Brian’s jaw. “I knew you were going to wake up. I know how strong you are, you beat all the odds. You always do. I would’ve waited…”

“I don’t want you to wait for me anymore, Justin,” Brian said.

Justin’s heart dropped when he heard Brian’s low, serious tone. “What? What do you mean?”

“I want to be your real partner, Justin. I don’t ever want you to doubt that I love you. It is hard for me to accept, but I understand that you want to take care of me when I need someone to do it. You let me take care of you after… you were hurt. You agreed to have me paying for your school, even though I know working for the Sap scared you into it. But the point is, I know that being your partner is a two way street, for everything.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Brian?” Justin wondered. He’d never imagined Brian expressing… anything verbally, and with such clarity.

Brian smiled. “I’m right as rain, Sunshine.”

Justin laughed and kissed Brian’s lips. He murmured, “So, it isn’t the drugs making you say these things to me?”

“No.”

“Promise?”

“Yes,” Brian laughed. He took Justin’s hands between his own and squeezed them. “Now, would you stop interrupting me? I’m not done here.”

“You’re not?” Justin said amazed.

“No. Now listen. I should love that you want to take care of me. I should be lucky that you want me for more than just a fuck. I should let you know that I am lucky, that I feel lucky every day. I don’t want you to have to wait around for me to show you or tell you how I feel ever again. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. I love you and…”

Brian’s words were interrupted by Michael screeching his name as he threw open the door. Michael barreled toward his friend.

Doctor Rhine rushed in after Michael, his face pale and shocked. “Medical miracles,” he whispered.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Michael asked halting his steps. He turned to look at the doctor. “I thought you said he was unresponsive!” Michael wiped tears from his eyes. “You said that I…”

“I’m as surprised as you,” Dr. Rhine interrupted Michael, his voice filled with awe. “It seems that Mr. Kinney woke up.” The doctor stared at Brian in disbelief. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.” Dr. Rhine hesitated in moving toward Brian. His brain could hardly compute what and how it came to be that his patient was alive.

Michael looked at Justin, “What are you doing here?”

Justin’s face fell, “Michael…”

Brian hugged Justin tightly and pinned Michael with a serious stare. “He's here with me because I want him to be.”

Dr. Rhine could sense the immediate tension and knew that he had to intervene on a professional level. “Mr. Kinney, myself and the staff really need to check you over.”

“I'm fine,” Brian told the man. “But I guess a quick check-up would be okay before we get out of here.”

“Mr. Kinney, you were pronounced dead and now are alive. There are multitudes of tests we need to run! You can’t just leave. This… what…. Whatever happened needs to be…”

“You know what?” Brian interrupted. “I don't even need the fucking check-up. I feel fucking fantastic. I'm not going to sit in here and be your guinea pig on Christmas Eve.”

“That's not what I was suggesting, Brian,” the doctor said evenly. “It's just that... this is a medical…”

“A Christmas Miracle,” Justin interrupted.

“Christ, would you let the doctor talk,” Michael whined and glared at Justin. He was more than a little surprised when he saw Brian glare right back at him.

“Basically you are right,” Dr. Rhine said, smiling, still stunned. He turned toward Justin. “Nothing like this has ever happened before in this hospital. Yes, we may revive patients, but Brian had no pulse, no brain activity, nothing and now...”

“I'm alive and well,” Brian said with a smile.

“But we need to at least check you out. We can't keep you here against your will, Mr. Kinney, but I strongly recommend you at least allow me to check you over. There could be some damage that you may not feel right now.”

“That's fine,” Brian agreed. “But Justin stays in here with me when you do whatever it is you need to do.”

Justin smiled and kissed Brian's cheek. “Thank you, Brian.”

“What about me?” Michael asked.

“You can go and call the family and tell them that I woke up. You didn’t go tell them you pulled the plug to let me die, did you?”

“No, Brian!” Michael said. He walked to the unoccupied side of Brian’s bed and awkwardly held Brian’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Brian took his hand away from Michael’s. “When you call the family, let them know that Justin and I will be having Christmas dinner at the loft.”

“What?” Justin and Michael asked in unison.

“I feel great now, but I'm not going to be up for making it over to your mother's or the munchers, so tell them that whoever wants to is welcome to come by the loft tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure your mother won't mind cooking the Christmas feast in our gourmet kitchen.” Brian smirked.

Justin didn't miss the our, in Brian's sentence.

Michael looked flustered for a minute but then nodded his head. “Okay,” he said sadly.

“I'll have the doctor send you in here when he's done with me,” Brian told him. “There's something we need to talk about.”

“All right Brian,” Michael spoke slowly. He leaned down, kissed Brian’s forehead and left the room.

Brian looked at Dr. Rhine. “Well. Do your worst.”
 

*********
 

An hour later the medical team deemed Brian’s reawakening a medical miracle. They found Brian in perfect health. There was one exception; Brian still needed to continue the radiation treatments. Other than that, they were baffled and could not explain what happened to Brian. Dr. Rhine gave Brian forms for his release, a pair of scrubs to go home in and asked for a promise from Brian that he’d immediately go to the emergency room if he felt even a minor twinge of pain in his head or heart.

Brian collected his bouquet of daisies; Gus Bear, and any of the other personal items there were in the hospital room. Justin insisted on helping Brian dress. Though Brian was perfectly able to do so, he allowed it. He actually enjoyed how careful and loving Justin was throughout the dressing. He would lightly brush his fingertips against areas he knew made Brian hot, or stare at Brian’s body as though it was the first time he was seeing it. Brian now understood what exactly it meant for Justin to be able to help him, even in the smallest of ways.

As soon as Brian was dressed, Michael came into the room without knocking on the door or waiting for the Doctor to tell him that Brian was ready. Michael had heard the nurses at the desk talk about Brian’s release so he knew they’d finished the tests on Brian. “So, you ready to go home, Brian? I called everyone like you asked. They are more than happy to reorganize the plans and go to the loft for the dinner. Do you want me to go get the Vette?”

Brian sighed. He walked toward Michael and looked down at the man. “I need you to do something first, Michael.”

Michael stepped forward and hugged Brian and then pulled back smiling. “Sure, Brian, anything, name it.”

Brian stepped away and took Justin's hand in one of his. “I need you to tell Justin the reason I wasn't already dead when they brought me in here.”

Michael's face went pale. He didn’t understand the relevance of it now that Brian was going to be okay. “What?”

“Tell Justin why I was still alive and not dead!”

“Brian, it's okay. Let’s just go home. We don't have to talk about that,” Justin tried to interject. He didn't want Brian being stressed out. He knew that they could talk about it some other time.

“No, we do have to talk about it. It’s the reason I’m still here.” Brian kissed the side of Justin's face and breathed in his lover's scent. Brian looked at his friend. “Go on, Michael.”

“How the hell do I know?” Michael said haughtily, frightened of the consequences.

“I know you know, Michael. I heard it all. Funny thing about being in a coma, you may not hear everything, but I think you see and hear everything you are supposed to.”

“What do you want me to say, Brian?” Michael asked.

“You know damn well what to say, Mikey. If you don't say it, you won't be saying anything else to either of us ever again.”

“Brian,” Justin gasped. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Brian said passionately. “He’s our friend, Justin. He needs to tell you. He would tell you if he is really our friend.”

Michael's eyes went wide and he looked like he was about to cry. “Okay. Jesus.” He took a deep breath and then turned to Justin. “You are the reason Brian was alive when he was brought here. The chicken soup you gave him saved his life.”

“What?” Justin asked dumbfounded. He finally felt the guilt he carried receding.

Brian turned to look at Justin. He explained, “What you made me eat was just enough to make it so that the doctors could pump my stomach. I had nothing else but the pills in me and the soup. They had a horrible time trying to pump my stomach, but the soup helped. It was just the right amount to pump, and the right amount not to dissolve all the pills.”

“It was?” surprised, Justin spoke.

“And there's more. Isn't there, Mikey? There's something you need to apologize for, right?” Brian prodded.

Michael nodded his head, “Yes.”

“Tell him, Michael.”

“I'm sorry, Justin. You should’ve been back here with Brian. I wasn’t thinking right; I was so scared and angry. That doesn’t excuse what I did, but I am sorry. I never should have blamed you or said those nasty things to you,” Michael sniffled. “I'd understand if you don't…won’t… but I hope you will forgive me.”

Justin sighed. “Michael, I…”

“Michael, Justin is my partner,” Brian interrupted. “I hate regrets and apologies, but I’m sorry I let you think you were the most important person in my life, Michael. I regret a lot of shit with our friendship.”

“Brian,” Michael sighed. He touched Brian’s arm. “I’m sorry about that too.”

Brian grabbed Michael and hugged both him and Justin. “I love you both.”

Michael laughed and backed out of Brian’s arms. His deep brown eyes stared in amaze between Brian and Justin. “I can’t believe you just said that! What happened to you?”

Brian ran his hand up Justin’s neck and a carded his fingers through his hair. “I died, Michael.”

“But, they had to have been wrong! You’re standing here, just fine!”

“I can’t explain that,” Brian chuckled. “All I know is that I was given another chance to live the life I should be living. I’m not going to fuck it up.”

“You won’t,” Justin said. He kissed the side of Brian’s jaw. “I won’t let you.”

Michael grinned. “Me neither.” He smiled at Justin, “So… will you forgive me Justin?”

“Of course, Michael,” Justin said quickly.

“What?” Brian and Michael said in unison.

“It's Christmas, right?” Justin laughed for a minute but then gave Mikey a serious look. “Just don’t you ever fucking pull shit like this again, Michael. You hurt me. I’d never imagined that you would do what you did to me. Especially because, you should know how scary it is to have your partner in the hospital. You know how they treat gay couples, even if we do have all the right papers.”

“I know,” Michael whispered. “I’m ashamed of myself.”

“Is our miracle patient ready to go?” A bubbly nurse pushed an empty wheel chair into the room.

“Definitely,” Brian said. He stared at the wheelchair in disdain. “I’m not going to be seen riding in that atrocity,” he groaned. He grabbed his bag and started to walk toward the door.

“Brian, sit down,” Justin said softly but firmly. “You need to get in the chair and we’re gonna cover you with some blankets cause you don’t have your coat.”

“I don't need…”

“I'd listen to him if I were you,” Michael said. “Last time he saved your life.”

Brian laughed. “That wasn't the first time he saved my life,” Brian said. He reluctantly sat down in the chair.

Justin giggled, “Are you sure you’re okay, Brian.”

Brian rolled his eyes as Michael tucked a few of the hospital blankets around his body. “Did the blankets have to be pink?”

“He’s still Brian,” Michael commented.

The nurse went behind Brian and started to push the chair. Brian reached his hand out for Justin’s and held onto it as they walked through the halls to the entrance.

“I’ll go get the car,” Michael said.

“Thanks, Mikey.” Brian took the blankets off and stood up. He looked at the nurse and read her nametag, “Thanks Maitreya.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Kinney. Merry Christmas to both of you.”

“Merry Christmas,” Brian and Justin answered.

Brian and Justin waited inside the hospital’s entrance doors with their arms wrapped around each other until they saw Michael pull up with the car.

Brian and Justin walked outside.

Michael hugged Brian. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll make sure everyone else gives you both some time alone tonight.”

“Thanks, but don't you need a ride, Michael?” Brian asked.

“That's only a two-seater,” Justin said.

“We could squeeze in the same seat,” Brian suggested, squeezing Justin’s ass.

“Nah, I'll take a cab home. You guys go ahead.” Michael handed Justin the keys to the Corvette.

“You sure?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

Brian gave Michael a hug and kiss, “Merry Christmas, Mikey.”

“Merry Christmas, Brian,” Michael replied. He turned to Justin and hugged him, “Merry Christmas, Justin. Take care of him.”

“I will.”

“I know.”

Justin insisted on helping Brian into the car. He ran around to the driver’s seat and watched Brian get comfortable in the passenger seat. Justin leaned over and latched Brian’s seatbelt. “Safety-first,” he joked.

Brian caught Justin’s face in his hands and kissed his partner passionately. “I’m always safe with you.”

Justin smiled at Brian, “I love you.”

Brian held Justin’s hand over the gearshift as they pulled out of the hospital lot onto the street. “I know,” he whispered.
 

********
 

Justin pulled the car up into a space outside the loft and turned off the ignition. “You all right?”

“I’m fabulous,” Brian replied.

“Oh? Did you want me to go out and get you something?” Justin asked.

“No, I thought maybe you could re-heat me some of that chicken soup you made if there is any left?”

“Sure.” Justin smiled at his lover as they climbed out of the car.

When they got inside the loft, Justin led Brian into the bathroom to help him for his shower. “After you get in the shower, I'm going to go heat up that soup and pop some bread in the oven too. Are you up for eating that?”

“That sounds really good, thank you.” Brian kissed Justin's forehead.

Justin stared at Brian as he lifted the scrub shirt over Brian’s head. “I keep wanting to ask you if you’re okay? You’re acting so out of character.”

“If you believe in something strong enough, you have to sacrifice everything.”

“Sacrifice what?” Justin asked, worriedly.

“Well, I suppose the word sacrifice is a little dramatic. But I have to sacrifice all my bullshit rules and beliefs so in a way it’s not exactly sacrificing anything. Especially when you look at the trade-off.” Brian shucked his pants down his legs and reached into the shower to turn on the water.

Justin stared wide-eyed at Brian. “You’re confusing me, Brian,” he said, exasperated.

Brian grinned and took Justin’s fully clothed body into his arms. He pressed his naked form against Justin’s and buried his face in Justin’s neck, “I believe in you.”

“Brian,” Justin said his name in a whisper.

Brian kissed his way up Justin’s neck, pecked a kiss on his lips and stared into Justin’s eyes. “I believe in love, and I’d sacrifice anything to have yours, to give you mine.”

“Jesus Christ!” Justin gasped.

Brian cupped Justin’s face with his hands, “That seems appropriate.”

Justin laughed, “So you’re serious?”

Brian nodded his head. “Didn't you hear what I’ve been saying to you?”

Justin smiled. “You’ve said that you love me.”

Brian smoothed his hands down Justin’s forearms and held Justin’s hands. “Yeah, so how about marrying me?”

“What?”

“I said… How about you marry me?” He tried to take Justin in his arms but the blond squirmed away from him.

“Brian!”

“I'm serious.”

“You can't be serious.”

Brian put his hands on his bare, slim hips, “I am.”

“You hate marriage, Brian, you…”

“I'm not that person anymore,” Brian told him. “I can’t be that person. I almost lost you.”

“I think it was the other way around.”

“Whatever. That’s even more of a reason for us not to wait. I don’t want you to ever question what we mean to one another or anyone else for that matter.”

“I... I don't know what to say.” Justin shook his head. “Just last week you were throwing me out of your loft, telling me you didn't want me. You threatened me with a restraining order!”

“I’m an asshole. I’ll probably always be an asshole, but I won’t ever do that again. I lied to you,” Brian said. “I'll always want you.”

“That's easy for you to say when you're standing here naked with a boner,” Justin laughed.

Brian smirked. “Fine, we'll talk about this after I get out of the shower.

“Ohhhkay...” Justin said. He knew Brian loved him, he always did, but he wasn’t convinced that Brian was serious about marrying him. It was hard to believe that Brian changed so suddenly, near death, no make that... experience in dying, or not.

“You know what?” Brian said getting an idea. “Do you think you can actually go get some guava juice at the corner store? I don't think I've got any and I could really use some. That always settles my stomach.”

Justin nodded, “Sure, do you want anything else?”

“Yeah, actually I've got a craving for some brownies. Can you pick up one of those boxes to make some?”

Justin laughed, “Brownies? You want to make brownies?”

“I'm craving chocolate. Besides, aren't they your favorite dessert?”

“Yeah, but I'm just surprised you want some.”

“Well it's only lunchtime, we'll have plenty of time to work off the carbs and I'm sure my stomach can handle one or two,” he smiled.

“Okay,” Justin kissed Brian. “I'll be back soon.

“You can go ahead and make the soup and bread, but I'll make the brownies after lunch, okay?”

Justin looked at Brian weirdly. “Can you even cook them?”

“It's from a box, Justin. I'm sure I can figure it out. But you'd better make sure we've got eggs and oil just to be sure.”

“Okay, later,” Justin kissed Brian one last time and walked out of the bathroom. Brian stayed in the bathroom and listened for a few minutes until he heard Justin leave the loft. He then turned off the shower, grabbed a robe and logged onto his computer. When he found the site he wanted, he called the phone number. Thankfully, they were open on Christmas Eve. After he placed his order and was assured what he asked for could be accomplished in only two hours, thanks to his deep pockets and promise of a free ad campaign, Brian called Cynthia.

“Hello?” Cynthia asked, picking up her cell phone.

“Listen, I need you to do something for me.”

“Brian! Thank God! Michael called me and told me you were okay! How are you?”

“Yeah, yeah yeah. We can get to that later. Right now I need you to do something that is really important.”

“Brian, it is Christmas Eve and you just got out of the hospital! I don't think you need to think about work right now.”

“This isn't about work.”

“What do you need?” she asked stunned.

Brian told Cynthia his plan and then he quickly hopped in the shower and scrubbed off. He was getting out just as he heard the loft door open, signaling Justin arriving home.

“You just now got out of the shower?” Justin asked as Brian came down the steps from the bedroom.

“Yeah, I needed to wash that hospital funk off of me.” Brian leaned down and kissed Justin's wind chilled lips.

Justin broke the kiss and started to unload the groceries in the kitchen. “I grabbed some extra eggs and bacon. I thought it'd be nice to have a Christmas breakfast tomorrow. I also got some eggnog.”

“Sounds good, Justin. Why don't you put the French bread in the oven and heat up the soup? It should be done right in time for me to put the brownies in then?”

“Yup. Oh and I got some chocolate icing to put on them too.” Justin took the icing out of the bag.

“What are you trying to do? Kill me?” Brian joked.

Justin's face fell for a minute. “Oh well, we don’t have to…”

Brian kicked himself. “Hey, I didn't mean that. I was only joking. 'Betty Crocker' chocolate whipped topping sounds delicious.”

“Okay,” Justin whispered.

Brian grabbed Justin from behind and hugged him to his chest. He felt the boy shaking in his arms and knew that Justin was crying. He held onto him even tighter.

Justin turned in Brian’s embrace and rubbed his face against Brian’s chest. He groped at his t-shirt, hugging him close. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention. You never should’ve…”

“It wasn't your fault,” Brian spoke the words Justin had once told him. “You saved me,” he whispered. “You've been saving me since the night I met you under that lamppost. I think even then I began to fall in love with you.”

Justin's head snapped up to look at Brian, “Brian?”

“I’m here,” Brian said. He rubbed the tears away with his thumb though he felt his own emotions going crazy and knew there were a few tears on his own face. “Believe in my love for you, Justin Taylor.”

“Oh Brian,” Justin gasped. This time, for some reason, the words sunk in as truth for Justin. The shock had drizzled away each time Brian said the words, now the words lay bare upon his soul.

Brian's stomach growled interrupting any further play.

“Well, I guess I had better feed the beast,” Justin put his hand on Brian' stomach, “before I feed this beast.” Justin rubbed his and Brian’s cocks against each other as he swiveled his hips in a grinding motion.

Brian laughed, “You’re going to pay for that later.”

Justin grinned. “I don’t want you to strain yourself, old man.”

“Please! You know I’m up for it.”
 

*********
 

Brian and Justin sat in front of the television and watched “Mickey’s Christmas Carol”.

Justin had gotten so excited when they saw that it was on. Brian didn't have the heart to insist on watching anything else. Though, it was a little eerie, considering he'd gone through nearly the same thing the last two days.

After they ate their lunch, Brian went into the kitchen and made the brownies. While they baked in the oven, he cleaned up the kitchen. Every now and then, he'd look out to where Justin was sitting and would see the boy smiling contentedly. His heart lurched each time he did. His feelings and emotions were raw and wild. When Brian looked at his blond boy, it made everything inside of him twist almost painfully. But the pain was a beautiful, full feeling. It cemented the fact that what he was going to do was the right thing for the both of them.

The buzzer rang at the door and Justin looked over at Brian who walked over to it. His blond eyebrow rose and his face contorted, showing his distaste at having their evening disturbed. Brian smirked. “It's Cynthia,” he told Justin.

“Come on up,” he said, pressing the buzzer that would release the lock downstairs.

“Brian, you're not going to do business the second you get out of the hospital, are you?” Justin asked worriedly, from the couch.

“No, Sunshine. I left something at the office for Gus and wanted Cynthia to bring it by, that's all.”

“That's all? No work?”

“I promise. No work,” Brian assured him and opened the door.

Cynthia got off the elevator and held out a brown paper sack for Brian. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, Cynthia,” Brian said walking into the hall. “I'll see you and your brother around five for dinner right?”

Cynthia leaned forward and hugged her boss. “We'll be here. I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

Brian laughed and went inside the loft. The cartoon had ended so Justin got up and walked over to him.

“What did you get Gus?” Justin asked.

“I'll show you later,” Brian told him. “Why don't you go take a shower? The brownies should be done in just a minute. I'll frost them while you’re in there. We can smoke a joint and munch out in front of the TV, relax.”

“Okay,” Justin smiled. He kissed Brian's lips and disappeared into the bathroom.

Brian quickly went to the oven and got out the brownies. He then put them in the freezer so they'd cool down enough to frost them.

He heard the shower go on and opened up the bag Cynthia brought him and took the items out and examined them. They were perfect.

By the time the brownies were frosted, Justin had gotten out of the shower. He came down the stairs, dressed in a pair of Brian's gray sweats and a white t-shirt. “Mmm... those smell so good,” he admired. He walked around Brian and tried to dip a finger into the frosting.

Brian smacked Justin's hand away. “I'll make us some hot chocolate too if you go and roll the joints.”

“Joints?”

“Yeah, well... it's gonna be a long night.”

“But what about your pills, Brian? Are you sure its okay to smoke weed and take them?”

“I did before, Justin. Many patients that go through radiation or chemotherapy smoke weed with their medication. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine as long as I grab the right pills this time.” He looked over at the clock on the microwave. “You can go get me them for me if you want. I think its time I had my next dose.”

Justin looked at the clock. “You aren't supposed to have them for another two hours, Brian.”

“Right.” Brian kissed Justin. “I guess not. Now, what would I do without you, Sunshine?”

Justin kissed Brian's cheek. “I can't imagine,” he said walking away.

Brian couldn't imagine it either. If everything went right, he wouldn't ever have to know.

Brian brought over the tray of cocoa and brownies to the coffee table and smiled when Justin lit up the joint. The blond cuddled close to him and Brian put his arm around him.

They sat and smoked as they watched “It's a Wonderful Life”. During a commercial break, Justin reached for his brownie but Brian stopped him. “I want you to lick the icing off,” Brian told him sexily.

Justin laughed and picked it up and stuck out his tongue. Brian watched as Justin took three licks and when he got to the fourth he pulled the brownie away from him. “Uh?”

“What?” Brian asked curiously.

“There's something hard, Brian. I think you may have gotten an eggshell in the…” Justin's words died on his lips. He brushed away the last bits of icing and looked at the brownie.

“It's not an eggshell, is it?” Brian asked with a smirk.

Justin put his fingers into the brownie and pulled the object out. “Brian! It’s a ring.”

“I know.”

Justin smacked Brian’s knee, laughing, “You’re crazy!” He licked the chocolate remnants from the metal and then looked it over closely. “My Sunshine,” Justin said in awe, reading the inscription inside the ring. He looked at Brian, dumbfounded.

“That's you,” Brian told him.

“This is...”

Brian moved off the sofa and got in between Justin's legs. He took the ring away from him and held it out. “Will you marry me?”

Justin's mouth hung open. It was hard to process everything that happened. The last few days, and this, all seemed like a dream. He wiped the tears out of his eyes and blinked a few times. Brian was still there, on his knees, holding a ring out to him, and yes, he'd just asked him to marry him!

“Will you be my husband?” Brian asked. “My partner. I want it to be you that will always hold my life in your hands.”

“Yes!” Justin said, finally able to talk through the mania inside his head. “Yes!” He lunged forward, crushed Brian’s body back onto the floor, and started to kiss the man's face. “Yes, I will marry you!”

Brian laughed and rolled Justin over. He leaned down to kiss his lover slowly, “I love you and I want to show you how much I love you for the rest of my life.”

Justin blinked again nodded his head. “Me too.” He reached his hand out and Brian slid the ring on his finger. “What about your ring?” Justin asked.

“You can put mine on me tomorrow,” Brian told him.

“Tomorrow?” Justin asked.

“I want you to open something on Christmas. I want to surprise you.”

“You already have. More than you'll ever know,” Justin leaned up and kissed Brian's neck.

Brian groaned in pleasure. “You've been making me hard all day.”

“I know,” Justin smiled.

“I haven't been able to get hard, Justin,” Brian admitted.

Justin's face fell in worry. “You’re not healed?”

“No, no, I'm fine now. I just wanted to tell you the truth. All those times I didn’t follow through. It was because I wasn't able to get past having my ball removed. It had nothing to do with you. I always want you.”

“Me too,” Justin whispered.

Brian and Justin slowly undressed each other, revealing their bodies, teasingly. “I want you so much,” Brian told Justin. He laid Justin down on the couch and reached under the cushion for their supplies.”

“I've missed you inside me,” Justin admitted.

Brian took out the condom, prepared himself and then slicked his cock with the lube. He lubed Justin's tight hole and slowly slid his aching cock inside him.

Justin locked his legs around Brian’s waist. His back arched and he used his legs to pull his ass up toward Brian’s thrust.

“You’re so tight,” Brian groaned.

Justin bit Brian’s shoulder when the man’s cock brushed against his prostate. “You want me tighter, Brian?”

Brian drew his hips back and paused his movement. He left the crown of his dick inside Justin’s warm hole. He wasn’t sure he could take it if Justin got any tighter than he felt, but he nodded his head anyway. “Show me, Justin.”

Justin grinned for a moment, and then fused his mouth to Brian’s. He dug his fingers into the man’s shoulders and squeezed his anus around Brian’s dick head.

Brian tore his mouth away from Justin’s mouth. He huffed open breaths against Justin’s cheek as he pushed against Justin’s clenching muscles, forcing them open, slowly.

One of Justin’s hands found Brian’s hair. He gripped it in his fingers and pulled on it roughly when Brian’s cock was completely embedded in his body again. “Did you like that?”

“Fuck yeah,” Brian whispered. “Now do it again.”

Justin did, repeatedly,

They sucked, bit and licked one another as their bodies collided. Brian’s thrusts increased in tempo, changed in rhythm and Justin’s clenching became less timed, and more instinctual. They built their orgasms to a needy pace. Sweat and spit covered their skin, lust clouded their eyes, and declarations passed their lips as much as their heavy breathing would allow.

Brian came first, Justin only a second later, both of their orgasms lasted longer than what their emissions told. Their bodies jolted with aftershocks, their breath heated each other’s skin, until finally Brian separated himself from Justin’s body.

“Jesus, Brian!” Justin laughed. “Now that has to be in our top ten fucks.”

Brian skimmed the condom off his cock and held it up for Justin to see. “By the looks of this load, I’d say this is in our….”

“Top five fucks.” Justin crawled beside Brian and took the condom from him. He tied it off, threw it toward the closest wastebasket and peppered kisses along Brian’s shoulder. “What’s number one?”

Brian grabbed Justin so the blond straddled his lap. He ran his fingers through the come load that coated Justin’s belly.

Justin’s dick pressed against Brian’s cock, filling with desire again. “What do you think is our number one? Tell me.”

Brian swirled his fingers in the sticky substance and felt Justin’s body shake when he danced the tips inside Justin’s belly button. Coating two fingers in Justin’s emission, Brian brought his hand up to Justin’s face and spread the come over Justin’s lips. His eyes flickered between the pouty lips and Justin’s heated blue eyes.

Justin poked his tongue out and licked Brian’s fingers. He held Brian’s hand to his face and sucked the two digits into his warm mouth. Once the taste of him and Brian’s skin dissolved completely on his tongue Justin leaned forward and licked the shell of Brian’s ear. “Tell me.”

Brian’s hands glided up Justin’s back. His skin shivered under his hands. He buried his face in Justin’s neck. “When we fucked the first time after you were hurt,” Brian whispered, his words shaky. He looked at Justin. “It was love to me.”

Justin cupped Brian’s face between his hands. “When I said that this is where we made love the first time. That’s what I meant.”

Brian nodded and pecked Justin’s lips. “I know.”
 

********
 

The next day, Brian and Justin spent most of the morning in bed. Their energy and insatiable need to be coupled, only slowed when they had to force themselves to stop their fuck fest and get themselves and the loft ready for Christmas dinner.

Brian asked Justin not to wear his ring until they were ready to tell the family about their engagement. Justin agreed, happy to keep it between them for the time being. He was also, still a little hesitant, fearful that Brian would snap out of his new process of thinking and go back to being the closed-off Brian he’d been only days before.

Emmett arrived early carrying a large box and a bag full of Christmas supplies.

“Don’t even think about it,” Brian groaned.

Emmett rolled his eyes, kissed Brian’s cheek and strolled into the loft. “Auntie Em has come to the rescue,” Emmett said, greeting Justin.

Justin hugged Emmett. “Thanks for bringing your extra decorations over.”

Brian closed the loft door. He stalked over to Justin and Emmett and peered into the bag of decorations. “This was your idea, Justin?”

Justin pushed Brian out of the way and started to unpack the boxes of lights, ornaments and packages of silver tinsel. “Don’t be a Scrooge, Brian. We’re having a Christmas party.”

Brian sucked in a deep breath and backed away from his lover and friend. “Don’t worry. I won’t be Scrooge. Have at it. Just… remember that Debbie shows up in an hour.”

Emmett gave Justin a triumphant smile. “You were right. He has changed.”

“Wait. When did you….”

“When you were spending all that time trying to control your bed head, I gave Emmett a call.”

Brian smiled, “I wouldn’t have had bed head if you hadn’t insisted on me fucking your brains out five minutes after I got out of the shower.”

“You were the one that came out glistening wet and asking me to rub lotion on your ass.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you to do that if the hospital sheets weren’t made out of needles.”

“Please, Brian. You did it on purpose. And besides, as I recall it wasn’t me that got…”

“Justin!” Brian interrupted. He glanced quickly at Emmett.

Emmett had obviously been hanging on every word. “Now, now. Don’t stop on my account. Keep going,” he joked.

“Next time, don’t pull my hair when you know we’re going to see anyone.”

“You were begging me to do it harder! I thought that’s what you meant,” Justin said teasingly. He rose to his feet and kissed Brian’s open mouth before the man could yell about what he’d revealed. He knew Emmett wouldn’t be divulging what he heard to anyone. As much as the man liked to gossip, he had never talked about anything private Justin had told him.

Brian bit Justin’s lip playfully and grabbed Justin’s ass in his hands. “You and Emmett are cleaning up the mess before he leaves.”

“Can’t we leave the tree up until after the new year? And the white lights? I have plans for us and that tree.”

“Yes and No.”

“What?” Justin asked, confused.

“Yes to leaving tree and lights until New Year's Day. No, to whatever silly plan you’ve got for us involving them.”

Justin’s face fell. “Fine.”

Brian grinned and walked into the kitchen. He had plans too.
 

********
 

Brian invited Cynthia and her brother to the dinner. They’d lost their mother a few months prior and didn’t have anywhere else to spend the holidays. Cynthia was overjoyed that Brian invited her and Marcus. She knew most of Brian’s friends and family, and both she and Marcus got along with the crowd easily.

Between Debbie and Lindsay, the dinner was large enough to feed not only their family, but to also pack up leftovers enough to feed everyone until New Year's. After dinner, presents were exchanged under the Christmas tree. When everyone was occupied, gabbing about their presents and the latest gossip, Brian pulled Gus into his room to have a chat with him. After he had Gus occupied, he came out, asked Marcus to speak with him for a moment and then handed Cynthia his digital camera.

“I have an announcement, “Brian said. Gus came running to stand by his father's side.

“Last night I asked Justin to marry me and he said yes.”

“What?” Debbie gasped.

Jennifer immediately went to Justin’s side and hugged him.

“He did,” Justin confirmed. “So of course I said yes.”

The family stared in shock between Brian and Justin.

“Justin, can you come here?” Brian asked.

Justin walked over to Brian, blushing. He thought Brian was going to give him the ring in front of everyone and was a little more than shocked when Marcus started to speak.

“As you all know, I'm Cynthia's brother Marcus. But what you don't know is that I am also a minister and I'm here to marry Brian and Justin.”

The gasps this time were much louder.

Justin stared at Brian, “Is he serious?”

“Yes,” Brian laughed. “Are you? About marrying me I mean.”

“Right now?”

“Well, yeah...”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Let's do it?”

“Say it.”

“Yes.” Justin kissed Brian's lips. “Yes, I will marry you.”

“Then let’s get this show on the road.”

“May I have the rings?” Marcus asked looking down at Gus.

Gus dug into his pants pocket and handed the man two rings, one a little smaller than the other. “Did I do it right, Daddy?”

Everyone laughed at the little boy’s cuteness.

“You did it perfectly, sonny-boy,” Brian said. He ruffled his son's hair and leaned down to kiss his cheek.

Cynthia was happily snapping pictures of each moment.

“I can't believe Brian did this,” Debbie whispered.

“I can,” Michael said, much to his mother's shock.

Michael shrugged. “He really loves him.”

The family watched as Brian and Justin said their vows and Marcus pronounced them married. Though they still needed to draw up the correct domestic partnership papers, having their wedding in front of their family and friends signified their union. It meant more to both Brian and Justin than a legal slip of paper ever would.

The family gathered around Brian and Justin, offering their surprise and congratulations.

“I never thought I would see the day Brian Kinney got married,” Ted commented.

Brian shrugged and kissed the side of Justin’s face. “I hate being predictable.”
 

********
 

When the last member of the family left, Brian took Justin over toward the small 6ft Christmas tree. “Merry Christmas, Justin Kinney.”

Justin smiled. “We haven’t discussed me changing my name.”

Brian laughed and pulled Justin down onto the rug in front of the tree. “You don’t want to be Mr. Kinney too?”

Justin kissed along Brian’s jaw. “Do you want me to be Mr. Kinney?”

“Do you want me to be Mr. Taylor?”

“Oh god. My husband wants me to hyphenate our names!” Brian said in mock horror. “Well, whatever my husband wants, he can have.”

Justin started to unbutton Brian’s shirt. “I love you, Mr. Taylor-Kinney.”

“I love you too, Mr. Taylor-Kinney,” Brian whispered, pulling Justin’s black sweater over his head.

“It's a miracle hearing you actually say that. This whole day has been a miracle, Brian.”

“I’ve go one more miracle for you,” Brian whispered, staring into Justin’s eyes.

“What’s that?” Justin asked, his voice quivering with emotion.

“I’m going to make love to my husband, right here under the Christmas tree.” Brian threaded his fingers through Justin’s, their wedding bands gleaming in the Christmas tree light. “Do you want that?”

“More than anything.”

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“It’ll be our secret, Brian,” Justin assured his husband.

After they’d undressed completely and sheathed Brian’s cock with a condom, and stirred lube inside Justin’s body, Brian lay on his side behind Justin, facing the Christmas tree.

“Merry Christmas,” Brian whispered, licking Justin's neck playfully as he thrust inside his partner. He held Justin’s hand in his and gripped his lover’s cock. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Justin craned his neck back and stared into Brian’s gleaming eyes. “Mine too. Merry Christmas, Brian. I love you.”

“I love you, Justin,” Brian whispered back. “But how am I going to top this next year? We’ll be celebrating two holidays.”

Justin laughed. “The fact that you’ll be celebrating two holidays on the same day will be enough for me.”

Brian made a slow pull and glide into Justin’s ass as he thought about next year, and the next, his future with Justin. It would always be better than the last. He’d make sure that it turned out completely different from the one he’d seen. “Nothing is enough for you, Justin. You always deserve more.”

“You’re enough for me, Brian,” Justin groaned. “You always have been.”

“You too, Justin.”

“What?”

“You’ve always,” Brian paused his words as a shock of pleasure went through his body. “You’ve always been enough for me.”

“What are you saying, Brian?”

Brian let go of Justin’s cock and slid his hand up between Justin’s thighs. He lifted Justin’s leg with his arm and his fingers massaged around Justin’s hole. “Next year, how about we both give each other the greatest gift in the world.”

Justin shuddered at the thought of what Brian suggested and the feeling of Brian touching them both. “Raw?”

“No barriers, nothing between us.”

Justin nodded, “Yes.”

Brian dropped Justin’s leg and continued his thrusts. “I can’t wait till Christmas.”

“Me neither,” Justin moaned.

The End
 

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