Roadside Attraction

Chapter Seven: “Turn Me On”

Brian held Justin’s hand in his own as they silently made their way down the stairs. He wondered to himself if he would be able to perform the way he wanted to. He hoped he could. Brian’s next thought made him pause in his footsteps.

Justin stepped down the last step into the hallway. He felt Brian’s hand tense up and turned to see him paused on the last step. “Having second thoughts?” His voice was quiet but seemed to echo in the hall.

“Not one,” Brian told him, sure of that, but added in a soft voice, “about you.” He stepped down and put his arms around his blond. “Let’s go talk in the living room where it’s warm.”

Justin nodded his head and led Brian into the room. “You really know how to build a fire that lasts, Brian.”

Brian smiled as he helped Justin sit down on the couch. “My grandmother showed me how to do that. She never liked to use electric heat unless it was completely necessary. She lived in an old brownstone in New York and there was a fireplace in almost every room.” Brian threw a few more logs on the fire before taking a seat beside Justin.

“I’m so nervous,” Justin said softly.

Brian brushed his fingertips along the young man’s face. “Me too.”

“At least you know you that you’ve pleased a man before. I don’t even know if I…”

“What are you talking about?” Brian interrupted.

“Neil must have wanted someone else for a reason, Brian. I probably didn’t…”

“Neil was an idiot, Justin, plain and simple. But you yourself said you were never really in love, so maybe that was it too,” Brian told him. “That doesn’t mean that you didn’t please him. I can’t imagine that to be true.”

“I guess you’ll find out,” Justin replied with a nervous laugh.

“Maybe I won’t be so good either,” Brian said.

“You told me yourself people used to call you the Stud of Liberty Avenue. You’ve slept with thousands of men who always wanted more, isn’t that what you told me?”

“That may have been true at one time, but it hasn’t been for a long time. It’s not as though any of them really had meJustin, youwill and that is terrifying. Especially because, well, I am worried that I will not...” Brian ran his hands through his hair and laughed to himself. “I mean, I haven’t been able to stay hard since the surgery. Every time I’ve tried to do anything, even touch myself, I start getting these thoughts going through my head.” Brian let out a long breath. God, does it feel good to get that off my chest , he thought, surprised. “I think about them making the incision and taking my ball out, and that usually makes any of the good feelings I’m having disappear. It’s just been me and my hand for a year and sometimes even my wildest fantasies can’t keep me… up.”

Justin reached up and ran his fingers across Brian’s lips. “I’ll try my hardest to make sure that does not happen, Brian.”

Brian smiled. “I’ve been hard practically since I met you so I’m hoping it won’t, but I’m still really scared that it will. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Well, aren’t we a pair?” Justin laughed.

“I’ve never talked to anyone about any of this stuff, Justin.”

“Didn’t your doctor advise you to see someone?”

“Didn’t yours?”

Justin sighed, “Yeah… I see your point.”

“Come here,” Brian pulled Justin toward him and started to plunder Justin’s mouth with deep heady kisses.

Justin moaned into Brian’s mouth as he started to lose himself to the man he was certain he was in love with.

A loud groaning sound went through the house. Brian and Justin broke apart and stared at the room around them.

“The electricity is back on!” Justin smiled.

Brian stood up and pulled Justin up with him. “Come on.”

“What? Where are we going?” Justin asked, confused.

“We are going to go get this mattress back on your bed upstairs,” Brian told him.

“Why, I don’t mind…”

Brian cut Justin off with a quick kiss. “As romantic it is to make love in front of a fire, it’d be much more comfortable on a bed, don’t you think?”

Justin blushed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Okay, why don’t you go turn up the thermostat and I’ll start lugging this upstairs,” Brian instructed.

“Are you sure you want to do that, Brian? It took forever to get it down here in the first place,” Justin said.

“I’ll be fine,” Brian kissed him again and then patted Justin’s round ass as he walked off.

I can't stand to see you cry,
Honey you know where the world is at,
Get what you want with your lucky eyes

You turn me on,
You know you're turning me, you know you're turning me on,
You turn me on,
You know you're turning me, you know you're turning me on


Brian flopped back onto the bed. “That wasn’t so bad.”

Justin crawled toward Brian. “You’re crazy.”

Brian gently flipped Justin over onto his side and crawled up next to him. “I think we confirmed that when I asked you to marry me.”

Justin smiled. “I said yes. So I’m crazy too.”

Brian stroked Justin’s hair from his face. “I don’t understand any of what’s happened.”

“What do you mean?” Justin curled his arm around Brian’s waist and started to stroke his hand back and forth along Brian’s back.

“I told myself that I didn’t believe in love. I didn’t think I’d ever know what it was really like. I let everyone believe that I didn’t, but I think it was only because I had a few hidden romantic notions about it that no one had ever come close to making me believe could be true.”

“Until yesterday?”

Brian chuckled. “I still can’t believe it’s been that short of a time. It feels like we’ve been stuck here together for years.”

“I know. I was thinking about when I met Neil and I wonder if I hadn’t gone home with him if I might have met you that night?”

“Maybe,” Brian kissed Justin’s nose, “but I probably wouldn’t have been ready for you. The things that happened the last year are what really have changed me. If we’d have met then, I might’ve ended up hurting you more than Neil did.”

“I doubt that,” Justin said. “But, I guess I probably wouldn’t have my baby either. I wouldn’t take that back for anything.”

Brian pressed his body closer to Justin’s, feeling the bump against his own flat stomach. “It all worked out for the best.”

“Yeah, it did.” Justin leaned in and placed his mouth against Brian’s as he threw one of his legs around Brian’s slim waist; at that angle he was able to bring their cocks together through their sweatpants.

Brian panted his breath into Justin’s mouth; feeling the boy’s cotton-covered erection against his own made his grow even more in want of Justin. Then a scary thought occurred to him, making him pull away. “Justin, stop. We have to stop.”

Justin took his leg from around Brian’s waist; his eyes began to fill with tears. “You…don’t want me.” Justin turned onto his other side away from Brian.

Brian pulled Justin to him, making the boy’s ample bottom rub against his excited cock. “I’ve never wanted anything more. It has nothing to do with that.”

Justin relaxed a little and leaned his head back on Brian’s shoulder. “What is it, Brian?”

“I… I don’t have any condoms, Justin,” He ran his hand up and down Justin’s belly.

Justin sighed, “Neither do I, but I have lube and it’s not like I can get pregnant again.”

Brian shivered at the thought of what Justin was suggesting, “You want me to fuck you bareback?” He nuzzled his face in Justin’s hair and spoke sensually into his ear.

“Yes,” Justin moaned, pushing his ass against Brian’s groin. “Do it.”

“Turn around,” Brian whispered, letting his arms go slack. “I don’t think you really know what you are asking.”

Justin did not turn around; instead, he sat up on his knees and looked down at Brian firmly. “I’ve been tested twice since I got pregnant, Brian. I’m negative and I’m not naïve’. Neil and I always had protected sex. A condom must’ve broken, Brian.” Justin rubbed his belly. “That is the only reason I’m pregnant. I haven’t been with anyone since Neil; otherwise I would have condoms.”

Brian sat up and held Justin’s hands. “I’m not worried about you. I mean, well, I am worried about you. But not because I think you could have something.”

“Didn’t you say you haven’t been with anyone in a long time?”

“That doesn’t matter,” Brian cut him off. “I’ve been with so many people, Justin.”

“Haven’t you been tested?”

“Of course I have. I just don’t want to risk you, Justin.”

“How many blood tests have you had since you’ve been abstinent, Brian?” Justin wanted to know. He doubted that with all the tests Brian had told him he’d undergone that they would have missed any STDs he may have had.

“Probably a dozen,” Brian said. “I just, this is huge, okay? I’ve never even thought about having unprotected sex.”

“You’ve never even had fantasies about it?” Justin asked.

“No, I don’t think I ever have.”

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Brian. I can wait until we can get some condoms if you don’t feel comfortable with this.”

Brian thought about how this would probably be the only time he and Justin would have this opportunity, unless they thought about having another child sometime in the future. He knew that he was clean and he wanted to make love with Justin, with no barriers between them. He wanted to experience it with Justin. “Okay, I want to do this.”

Justin gave Brian a small smile and pushed him onto his back. “Thank god.”

Brian laid back and looked up at Justin, giving the other man complete control of his body, for the first time in his life. Justin Taylor was so many firsts for Brian already, he knew there would still be many more.

Justin started with pushing the sweater Brian wore up his torso. His pink tongue swirled around Brian’s belly button. He watched as the firm stomach rippled in and out from the tickling sensation he caused.

Brian closed his eyes as Justin moved the sweater further up his chest until it stuck underneath his arms. Justin’s tongue traced each of his ribs, and then left a trail of warm saliva that soon cooled along his sternum, making him shiver and anticipate where the tongue would next travel. He soon found out as Justin wasted no time in circling around and around one of his pecs. Brian anticipated each lick that brought Justin’s tongue closer and closer, his nipple hard and pointed with want for attention.

Justin felt as though he was on autopilot; he seemed to know just where to place open-mouth kisses on Brian’s body. He instinctively knew what area of skin to nibble, the pressure to clamp his teeth and the number of times to swab his tongue over the area afterwards. Brian felt like his already, and he had just started. He felt an intense need to show Brian how perfect he believed he was. Justin hoped that he would do a good job and was rewarded with sighs, gasps and moans that assured him he was doing just fine.

Brian was going out of his mind as Justin played with his nipples. Justin’s right hand squeezed and rubbed the one Justin had just finished using his mouth to play with, sending tingles of pleasure through his body and down to his hard dick as his hands fisted the sheets.

Justin licked up as far as he could and then removed Brian’s sweater, throwing it to the side of the bed. He then started to place kisses along his throat and slightly bearded jaw, licking all the way up and along the stubbly cheek and then around to the shell of Brian’s ear. “You taste so good,” Justin told him. “All of you.”

Brian opened his eyes, removed his hands from the sheets and grabbed Justin’s head, pulling it toward him so that their mouths met. He really wanted to taste the sweetness of Justin’s mouth mixed with the taste of his own skin. When Brian did, he started to lose himself.

Justin licked inside Brian’s mouth; he grabbed handfuls of Brian’s soft hair and fought his desires down so that he would have enough energy to complete their coupling. He could tell that Brian was holding back, not wanting to hurt him. Brian had grabbed at the hem of his shirt and ripped it off over his head.

Brian was pushed back onto the bed. He groaned, “Take off your pants too, Justin.” Brian reached down to slip his off but then stopped himself.

Justin was in the middle of lowering his pants when he felt Brian tense up. “Brian, are you okay?”

Brian’s attention was drawn to Justin’s worried face. He stared at Justin and watched as the man between his legs pushed down his sweats and revealed his sexy body to him.

Justin felt goose bumps rise along his skin as his warm and hard cock met the cooler air of the bedroom. He also felt his nerves start to rise within his body as he looked at Brian and saw that the hazel eyes were set upon his sex. With a reserve of confidence, Justin wiggled his way out of his pants and threw them to the end of the bed.

“Justin,” Brian whispered in awe of the gorgeous body that he would soon be inside.

Justin smiled shyly at Brian and reached down to start to pull off Brian’s pants.

Brian waited with baited breath as Justin started to pull the material down his legs. He tried to focus his thoughts only on Justin and how sexy Justin looked, the big, thick cock that stood erect from an array of blond pubes but was restrained underneath Justin’s large stomach.

Justin crawled backwards as he removed Brian’s pants, making shushing noises as his fingertips grazed over a scar on Brian’s inner left thigh and caused the man to jump at the contact.

Brian’s heart was racing a mile a minute as he felt Justin’s hands on his skin. Skin that hadn’t known a hand other than his in a long, long time. Brian usually avoided touching the scarred area. It had long ago healed and wasn’t painful, but it was a constant reminder to him of how marred he was from the cancer and surgeries. However, Justin’s caresses were loving and gentle. He closed his eyes and listened to Justin’s words, once again reworking his mind away from the bad thoughts.

“You’re so beautiful, Brian,” Justin told him, inching his hands up and down Brian’s inner thighs. On each pass, his fingers would raise higher and higher until he finally put pressure on Brian’s thighs and moved them apart.

Brian cracked his eyes open as Justin spread his legs. He watched with mixed emotions as Justin got on his hands and knees and leaned forward, the mess of hair creating a curtain around his sex. His anticipation built as he felt Justin’s breath on his balls and his hands move to stoke his thumbs across his perineum. It felt so fucking good. He could not control his back from bowing and his eyes squeezing tight from the pleasure as he felt Justin tongue in the space between his thumbs. “Ahhhh!”

Justin looked up. “You okay?”

Brian shook his head. Eyes still closed, he gasped, “Yes.”

Justin smiled to himself and went back to exploring Brian with his mouth. He ran his tongue up and under his balls. Going to the right he sucked on the one he knew was real, gently rolling it around in the sac and then taking the other one into his mouth. He didn’t notice much of a difference except for the texture of the skin on the scarred side of the sac.

Brian moaned incoherently as Justin pleased him and broke through his barriers all at once. He was still apprehensive about Justin seeing how scarred he was, feeling it, but he was so happy that he sensed absolutely no reluctance from Justin in doing so.

Justin continued to worship Brian’s balls and then moved his tongue to the left side of his thigh and laved around all the incision scars that surrounded the area of Brian’s groin. He felt Brian’s cock jumping in his hair and against his face and was so happy to know that his ministrations weren’t turning the man off. They were having the desired effect he wanted from Brian.

Brian moved his hands to Justin’s head and tilted it up. “Suck me, Justin.”

Justin blinked his blue eyes at Brian and then nodded his head, abandoning the particular spot he’d focused on. He moved his body so that one arm rested against the outside of Brian’s thigh to support him as he slid his free hand through Brian’s soft hair and gripped the base of his cock. Justin could feel Brian’s body vibrating with pleasure as he breathed over the head of the dripping dick. Brian’s hands twisted in his hair and he knew Brian was fighting to hold back from forcing Justin to take him into his mouth.

“Come on,” Brian whispered aloud the chant that he’d been repeating in his head.

Justin’s mouth watered as he took the head of Brian’s cock inside and started to swirl his tongue over and into the slit messily. He could feel spit dripping down his chin but he really didn’t care how debauched he seemed. The moans coming from Brian spurred him on as he worshiped the long cock, slowly taking it all the way, until the tip leaked its juices in his throat and his lips and nose pressed against Brian’s hairy groin. He swallowed a few times around the cock and breathed in the smell of Brian’s sex. Justin moaned around the dick in his mouth as the smells triggered his own cock to jump and tingle and his entire body seemed to be awash with heat. He needed Brian inside him.

Brian removed his grip from Justin’s hair as he felt the hot mouth cradling his dick suction and slide back from the base of his cock to his tip in quick succession, over and over again. It was pure, torturous pleasure. He slid his hands easily to the boy’s shoulders and gently pushed Justin away from his cock. “Wait.”

Justin sat back on his knees and stared at Brian. “What?”

“I don’t…want…to…cum…yet,” Brian panted. He was so turned on, but he was still unsure of his stamina and didn’t want to have his only orgasm be inside Justin’s mouth; he wanted to pleasure Justin boy too.

Justin ran his hands up and down Brian’s calves and stared at the beautiful form before him. He was more than happy to know that he did indeed have what it took to get Brian off; he had felt more and more pre-cum rushing into his mouth and awaited the rush and spurts, but Brian pulled him off. Now, Justin watched the lean, tanned man struggle to get himself under control. He never remembered Neil looking so blissed out. Maybe that’s because Brian just has not been with anyone in a while, he thought to himself.

Brian captured one of Justin’s moving hands with his. “That has to be the best blow job I’ve ever gotten in my life.”

Or maybe not, he thought and smiled at Brian while wiping the spit off, from around his mouth.

Brian sat up and pulled Justin as close as he could get with the boy’s belly in the way and kissed him. He plied Justin’s lips open and searched out all the tastes inside the warm cavern. “You’re so sexy, Justin,” Brian told him, sliding his hands down Justin’s back and capturing his ample bottom in his palms.

“God, so are you, Brian,” Justin told him lifting up on his knees and spreading his legs to allow Brian easier access to the place they both wanted his fingers to reach.

Brian pulled Justin’s cheeks apart and inched his fingers down into Justin’s soft crack. The middle and pointer finger on his right hand circled around the silky entrance to Justin’s body.

“Please, Brian,” Justin moaned as he licked underneath Brian’s ear.

“Where’s the lube?” Brian asked.

“There’s some in the nightstand,” Justin said, moving off Brian.

Brian grabbed the tube of lubricant. Justin snatched it and opened it, and he took Brian's fingers and squirted some on them. He then sat on Brian’s chest, his thighs on each side and leaned forward as much as he could.

Brian momentarily couldn’t believe that Justin was able to be so open about his body, so giving. He had never been with anyone like that before. All the trepidation that Justin had said he had about sex had disappeared long ago. Brian circled his wet fingers around Justin’s hole and then gently inserted one.

Justin grunted as he felt the burning stretch he had not felt in a very long time as Brian opened his body. He reached beside them as Brian prepared him and grabbed the lube himself and poured a generous amount onto his hand. He paused and squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Brian moving two of his fingers in circles inside him as he pushed a third slowly into him. He could not help but have Brian’s name pass his lips as the third finger immediately pressed on his prostate upon entrance.

Brian felt the cool substance coat his cock and then Justin’s warm hand as Justin spread the substance over his dick as he prepared Justin’s hole, readying him with three slick fingers. He slowly pulled them out when Justin’s hand stopped moving on his cock because he was obviously overcome with the pleasure he was experiencing from Brian playing with his ass. He had been rocking back and forth vigorously on his fingers and continuously moaning and Brian knew that they were both more than ready for the next step.

“I’m more than ready, Brian,” Justin said, not knowing he was reading Brian’s mind.

“How do you want to do this?” Brian asked moving his hands to Justin’s hips and pressing open mouth kisses to each of Justin’s cheeks.

Justin climbed off Brian and turned around so that he was straddling Brian’s stomach, though most of his weight was still on his arms, “Do you think I’ll be too heavy?”

Brian moved his hands to Justin’s waist and shook his head. “God, no.” He guided Justin to sit down on his stomach; the tip of his cock rubbed against the boy’s hole as Justin sat upon him.

Justin gingerly sat down upon Brian. “Are you uncomfortable?”

“I think I should be asking you that.” Brian moved his hands along Justin’s belly and then down underneath to stroke Justin’s cock. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so comfortable,” he smiled.

Justin gasped when he felt Brian’s hand start to massage his cock. “Can you bring your legs up so that I have a little more leverage?”

Brian did as Justin asked. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” Justin lifted up, reaching back and holding onto Brian’s legs as he did. “Put your cock inside me, Brian.”

Brian and Justin stared into each other’s eyes as Brian placed his cock in between Justin’s cheeks and found his small opening.

Justin’s eyelashes fluttered but he tried his best to keep them open as he slowly lowered himself down onto the head of Brian’s dick. “Uh.”

Brian held his cock in his left hand and jerked Justin’s with his right hand. He watched Justin’s eyes glaze over with a bit of surprise and pain as his cock head slipped into the tight ring of muscle. “Take it slow,” he whispered. However, from the first touch of his bare dick against Justin’s silky folds, he wanted anything but a slow descent into the warm tightness.

Justin nodded his head in answer to Brian; he could not form words to describe the feeling of having Brian’s cock head stretching him, slowly filling him. He bore down and lowered himself more, staring into Brian’s unflinching gaze the entire time. He knew upon seeing it that Brian had a very large cock, but feeling it inside of him, growing more with every inch he slid down on to, was a completely different thing. He hadn’t had anything inside of him for months and Neil had been much, much smaller.

Brian took deep, even breaths to control the immediate release that wanted to rush out of him. Finally, he felt Justin completely sit down. With his cock now entirely embedded within Justin, Brian was able to pause as Justin got used to the feeling of him inside. Brian also had time to once again recuperate from the sensual sexual overload on his body. He had been so scared he would loose his erection, but he knew that with Justin there was not any way that would be possible.

Justin moved his hands up Brian’s torso and used him to steady himself as he rose up and then back down on Brian’s cock.

“Uh fuck,” Brian yelled as Justin tightened his muscles around him. “I had no idea it would feel like this.”

“Me…” Justin again rose up and then down, “neither.”

“Ride me, Justin,” Brian told him, pumping his fist faster along Justin’s hard cock and covering one of Justin’s hands on his chest with his own.

Justin began to set the pace. He would move up and down, and then swivel in circles, wringing Brian’s cock with his muscles and then grinding down onto it as his pace sped up. He would take small breaks and lean back against Brian’s knees and remain where he was, only using his inner muscles to milk Brian’s cock and keep it hard while he rested. Then he would start all over again.

Brian was in agony but also ecstasy. He was sure they had been fucking for hours and he wasn’t sure if he could hold off from coming one more time. Justin was without doubt the best fuck he’d ever had. Scratch that. Justin was making love to him as no other man ever had before. It had his body aching and his heart beating so fast. They’d spoken words and groaned syllables that stated that fact. This primal act was more than just sex; it was a completely different level.

Brian leaned up as far as he could and demanded, “Kiss me.”

Justin was sweating from the exertion and his ears had started ringing, signaling his impeding orgasm. He barely heard Brian’s plea for a kiss and was bending himself as close as possible without losing Brian’s cock, tightening his ass as much as possible.

Brian curled forward as he pushed his pelvis up and thrust hard into Justin. Their mouths met and they awkwardly kissed. Brian kept thrusting into Justin and tangled his fingers into Justin’s sweaty hair, “So close…”

“Me too,” Justin answered against his lips and then moaned out as Brian hit his prostate in fast-paced thrusts.

“Come, Justin,” Brian told him, squeezing the tip of Justin’s cock in his fist and sucking Justin’s tongue into his mouth.

Justin gave into the pleasure and started to shake on top of Brian. The whole world seemed to go black for a moment as every nerve ending seemed to come alive and then start to fizzle and then begin again.

Brian cried out Justin’s name as his climax surged through him. He tried to focus on how beautiful Justin looked during his own orgasm, but as he started to cum and shoot his seed inside Justin, the feeling of it rushing out of him and knowing that it was coating Justin’s insides was too much stimulation for him to bear. His eyes closed and his entire body started to ascend into the greatest orgasm of his life.

When Justin came around, it was to witness the last tremors of Brian’s orgasm and the expressions Brian made as he thrust almost painfully inside him. He luxuriated in the feel of the new sensations he felt when Brian’s hot cum erupted within him. His hands pinched Brian’s sensitive nipples, causing Brian to emit a few more shakes of his body.

Brian let out a long moan, collapsed back against the pillow and cracked his eyes open. He was still out of breath and could barely speak but he managed to smile at Justin who was looking up at him with a thoroughly satisfied and loving expression on his beautiful flushed face.

Justin smiled back at Brian. “I’ve…got…to…move.”

Brian’s eyes opened wide in worry. “Are you all right?”

Justin smiled reassuringly. “I’m wonderful, just a little thirsty.”

Brian helped Justin carefully slide off his cock and then moved him to lie on his side. “I’m going to go get some water.”

Justin sighed. “Okay, thanks. Can you grab a warm wash cloth too?”

“Sure.” Brian cuddled into Justin and gave the boy a quick kiss before moving out of the bed slowly. His whole body felt deliciously sore.

Brian scurried downstairs, happy that the heat was on full blast though the floor was still cold on his bare feet. He grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and wet a few washcloths before heading back upstairs.

When he arrived back in the bedroom Justin was sitting up slightly and looking down at his belly, his hand moving in large circles and pressing in on certain spots. “Everything okay?” He crawled in and handed Justin his water and started to clean the boy’s body.

Justin frowned. “I’m not sure.”

Brian felt himself go pale. “What do you mean? Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Justin said quickly. “You didn’t. I just realized that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt the baby move.” He opened his water and took big long gulps.

Brian looked at Justin in alarm. “How…how long?”

“It was before we had sex, Brian,” Justin told him, still pressing down on his stomach.

“Has this happened before?” Brian asked as he finished wiping Justin’s stomach clean.

“A few times,” Justin said quietly. “I mean, the baby is always moving. Once and a while he stops, but it’s so tight in there I can usually feel every tiny movement.”

“Maybe he’s sleeping?” Brian told him, leaning forward and kissing Justin’s belly.

Justin carded his fingers through Brian’s hair. “Yeah, maybe that’s all it is.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s empty bottle of water and sat it on the nightstand. He then helped Justin get situated under the comforter. “Do you feel like something’s wrong?” He went about moving the pillows and then turned off the nightstand light before crawling against Justin’s warm body.

Justin cuddled into Brian and thought for a minute before speaking. “No…I don’t, not really. Who knows? Maybe I just haven’t noticed it before?”

“Does the baby move around while you’re sleeping?” Brian wondered.

“Yeah, sometimes I’m up half the night. But I’ve gotten used to the way it feels,” Justin said softly. “I wish the baby would just move a tiny bit so I know for sure it is okay.”

Brian kissed Justin’s forehead. “As soon as the snow clears we’ll go into town and I’ll take you to the doctor if you’re still worried about the baby.”

Justin snuggled up against Brian as much as he could. He let out a loud yawn. “Maybe the baby is as tired as me.”

Brian put his arm around Justin and gave an answering yawn before saying, “You tired me out.”

“Brian?”

“Yeah?” Brian moved his hand in soothing circles along Justin’s stomach; he hoped that the baby would move under his touch. He hoped everything was okay, but he did not want to voice his concerns and worry Justin about something they couldn’t fix at this point.

“You…you still mean everything, right?” Justin looked up at his lover.

“Of course I do, Justin. I mean it all even more now.” Brian kissed Justin’s forehead again and settled back, closing his eyes. He was just about to drift to sleep when he heard Justin whisper his name again. “What?”

“You were wrong, you know,” Justin told him.

“Wrong about what, Justin?”

“You knew how to make love all along, Brian… and I love you,” Justin kissed Brian’s chest. “I really do.”

Brian felt his heart jump and his eyes tear up. “That’s because you were making love to me too.” He could not believe he’d had the courage to actually speak those words, but they were true and he knew Justin needed to hear them. He wasn’t ever going to hide again. He had a feeling Justin would not let him and he didn’t want really want to anymore.

Justin sniffled and hugged Brian tighter to him. “You get more ridiculously romantic each day, Brian Kinney.”

Brian chuckled, “That’s because of you too, you know.”

“It is?” Justin asked. “And how’s that?”

“Because I’m so in love with you I can’t stop, and don’t want to stop how the things that seem to easily come out of my mouth when I’m around you. I am so fucking glad I got so lost and found you that night,” Brian said.

“Me too,” Justin said softly before promptly falling asleep.

 

***
 

“What?” Brian moaned and opened his bleary eyes; the first rays of the morning sun came in through the bedroom window.

“Brian!” Justin said louder, making the man bolt up in the bed.

“Fuck! What’s wrong?” Brian turned toward Justin, immediately awake.

“Don’t panic,” Justin told him. He was sitting naked on the far side of the bed with his knees pulled up to his stomach as much as possible, his ankles crossed and his arms around them.

“What’s going on, Justin?” Brian crawled over to the end of the bed before Justin could stop him. “Shit. Fuck!” He said as his bare knee encountered a wet towel.

“I know why the baby wasn’t moving,” Justin said.

“You’re not having the baby, Justin,” Brian told him, reaching out and touching Justin’s knee. “Fuck!”

“Don’t,” Justin said, brushing Brian’s hand off him. “Don’t…” Justin gasped out and started to breath deeply in and out.

“Fuck!” Brian said, watching Justin’s face constrict in pain.

“Brian,” Justin whined once he could breath easier again. “I am… I’m having the baby.”

“You can’t be, Justin,” Brian said in disbelief of what he was hearing and seeing.

“Brian!” Justin yelled at him in a panic-filled voice. “I’m scared, okay? I need you to help me. Please, Brian,” Justin told him as tears fell from his eyes.

“How long have you been awake?” Brian looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was twenty minutes to six a.m. “What do you need me to do?”

“I got up to go to the bathroom around three and then I started having some bad back pains. I took a shower to try and ease the pain, but while I was in there my water broke. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what to do ever since.”

Brian crawled closer to Justin. “Why didn’t you wake me up?’

“I… didn’t want you to panic. I thought it might go away. I thought maybe I was wrong and my water really didn’t break because there wasn’t very much in the shower. That’s when I got the towels out and I’ve just been sitting here,” Justin cried.

“Oh god, Justin.” Brian stroked the side of his lover’s face. “We’ve got to get you to the doctor.”

“We can’t, Brian! We’re still fucking snowed in. I’ve been waiting, hoping that maybe once the sun came out it might melt a little, but I don’t think we have time. I’ve watched the clock and my contractions are really close together.” As if to illustrate that point, another pain rippled through Justin’s back and abdomen.

“Shh…” Brian held Justin in his arms.

Justin squeezed Brian’s biceps, “It hurts… so bad… Brian.”

Brian kissed Justin’s face. “I’m sorry. God, I don’t know what to do. What do we do?” He felt completely lost.

Justin breathed in and out deeply and tried to get himself under control. “I think you’re going to have to help me deliver the baby.”

“What? Oh shit, god! Okay, okay… but you’re going to have to tell me what to do. I don’t know a fucking thing about babies or pregnancy, Justin.”

“I watch a lot of the baby story and have seen some at-home births, so I think if you can help me I’ll be okay,” Justin said, trying to reassure not only Brian but himself.

Like television ever tells the truth, Brian thought to himself. However, Brian knew that he had to step up, now. Justin needed him to help him through this. He had to be strong; he had to be the one to keep a cool level head. He’d never done anything that he didn’t succeed in. Delivering Justin’s child would have to be another accomplishment. There was no room to think otherwise. “Where do we start?”

 

XXXXX

Chapter Eight: “Christmas Miracle”

 

“Come on, Justin,” Brian encouraged Justin as he sat on the floor beside the bathtub.

“I can’t, Brian,” Justin moaned and rolled his head back and forth.

Brian wiped the cool washcloth over Justin’s forehead. “You need to get to your center place, Justin. Like the book said, right?” Justin had been fine up until the point that the baby had crowned and he started to feel the need to push.

“It hurts, Brian. I don’t want to do this,” Justin moaned.

“You have to, Justin. You want to see your baby, right?”

“Yes,” Justin cried. “But something is wrong; I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt like this.”

Brian had read as quickly as he could about home births and the special chapter titled “What to do if you are alone when you go into labor and give birth?” He could not believe there was actually information as detailed as there was in it, but he was happy to have read it. It had mentioned that the point of crowning could possibly be the worst and scariest for the person in labor. He was sure that Justin was fine; he just needed to get him to a place where he was confident and at peace. “Justin, look at me now. There is nothing wrong. Everything is going as it said it might in the book, you are just moving along faster. That’s probably why it hurts so badly.”

Justin looked over at Brian and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry… I am so sorry. Oh god.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. You are in pain, but you need to work through it. I’m going to help you.”

“Please help me, Brian. This is so scary,” Justin wept.

Brian wiped the cloth over Justin’s face. “Shh… don’t cry. Come on, I’m right here. I’m going to help you. You just you need to focus when the next contraction comes.”

“There’s too much pressure, Brian,” Justin rocked side to side in the tub.

“You’re so brave, Justin. You are so strong. I want you to close your eyes now,” Brian told him.

Justin did as asked and squeezed his lover’s hand. “Don’t leave me, Brian.”

Brian ran his hand through Justin’s hair. “I won’t. I’m right here. I just want you to close your eyes and think about the baby. You’re going to see the baby in just a few minutes. It’s exciting, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Justin whispered, calming down.

“Think about what you’re going to do with the baby once it’s born, Justin. What are you going to do?”

“Hold him,” Justin whispered.

“You’re going to hold the baby on your chest so the baby can hear your heart beat, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What else, Justin?”

“I’m going to kiss the baby and….” Justin let out a whimper. “Oh god, the pressure, Brian.”

“Shh!” Brian kissed Justin’s cheek. “What are you going to tell the baby, Justin?”

“That I love him. That I’ll always love him,” Justin said, staring into Brian’s eyes.

“Close your eyes,” Brian told him again and ran the washcloth over his face. “What else are you going to do?”

“I’m going to feed the baby.”

“You’re going to rock the baby in the room you decorated too, right?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to read to the baby too?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the first book you’re going to read to the baby?”

“The Goodnight Book,” Justin told him.

As Justin talked to him, Brian checked on Justin and saw that the baby’s head was definitely ready to be pushed out. “Tell me when your next contraction comes, Justin; you’re going to need to push.”

Justin opened his weary eyes. “I can feel one coming Brian.”

Brian was glad that this time Justin’s eyes were only glassy; there wasn’t fear and pain in them. “Okay, I’m going to get in with you now.”

“Are you sure, Brian? It’s going to be gross,” Justin said.

“Do you want me to stay out here?”

“No,” Justin said.

“Okay, well I’ve got all the stuff set up on the bench here.” Brian pointed to the array of supplies that sat beside the bench and then dropped his sweat pants and got in, clad in his underwear. “I’m going to drain some of the water and run some fresh, but tell me if you’re going to need to push.”

“I will, just hurry.”

Brian let some of the water out and then sat in front of Justin’s legs. “Okay, let me know.”

“I’m ready to push,” Justin said in a calm tone that surprised Brian.

“Okay, when it starts just put your chin to your chest and bear down.”

“Okay, Brian,” Justin whispered.

Brian held Justin’s feet in his hands as the boy pushed with all his might. “That’s it, Justin. Oh my god, Justin, go on! Keep going! The head’s almost out.”

Justin took a small break and then began to push again. He focused on Brian’s encouraging words and the knowledge that he would soon see his baby and put all of that into pushing his child out.

“That’s it, Justin, you can do it,” Brian told him once the head and shoulders were out.

“I’m so tired,” Justin told him. “I’m not sure I can.”

“Don’t say that, Justin. You know you can. You can do anything. One more good push and you’ll have your baby.”

Justin listened to Brian again, bore down and pushed as hard as he could.

“That’s it, Justin,” Brian said as he reached down and pulled the baby up and out of the water. “Here’s your baby,” he told him, placing the child on Justin’s chest.

“Oh my god,” Justin said as he held onto the slippery baby and started to cry. “It’s a boy, Brian,” Justin said. “I have a son.”

“A beautiful baby boy,” Brian told him.

 

***
 

“Isn’t he the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen, Brian?”

“He is,” Brian leaned in to kiss the baby’s cheek.

“I can’t believe this,” Justin whispered.

“Me neither,” Brian told him, stroking his hand along Justin’s forearm that cradled the small child.

“Now you can put him in that ridiculous Santa Claus outfit,” Brian laughed.

“When he’s done eating I’ll let you do the honors,” Justin told him.

“You’re really amazing,” Brian said softly.

Justin shook his head. “I couldn’t have had him without you.”

“Of course you would have,” Brian told him.

“I would have had to do it alone if you weren’t here. I hate to think what might’ve happened,” Justin said as he stroked his little boy’s face.

“Don’t think about it. That didn’t happen, and I’m glad I was there. It was definitely the craziest but also the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Brian kissed Justin’s cheek.

“I was thinking about names. Because I didn’t know if it was going to be a boy or a girl, I hadn’t chosen one. But now that I see him I think I know what I want to call him.”

“What’s that?”

“Riordan,” Justin answered. “Do you think that name suits him?”

“Riordan,” Brian tried the name out on his tongue. “It’s definitely an original name; it sounds very royal.”

“It means royal poet,” Justin smiled.

“I definitely think that suits him, Justin,” Brian agreed. “Maybe he’ll be a writer when he grows up.”

“He can be anything,” Justin said. “No matter what, I’ll always love him.” Justin started to get teary eyed. “I know I shouldn’t, but I wish that Neil could have been here to see him. Even though what he did was wrong, I still would have liked him to meet our son. I wouldn’t have him if it weren’t for Neil.”

Brian wiped Justin’s tears away. “There’s nothing wrong with that, Justin. It isn’t wrong to want Riordan’s father to have experienced this too.”

“I know. Nevertheless, it seems so stupid because I know that even if Neil had lived, he probably would have still left me alone. He was coming home that night to break it off with me and I probably wouldn’t have even told him I was pregnant. But I still wonder what it would be like if he was here.”

“Maybe he is, in some way,” Brian told him. He wasn’t very good with the spiritual aspect of life and hoped he was saying the right thing.

“You’re not mad?” Justin asked.

“I don’t have any reason to be mad at you, Justin,” Brian told him.

“I just, I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you. I want you to be Riordan’s father, Brian. I don’t want Riordan to know any different.”

Brian was taken aback. “You can’t lie to him, Justin.”

“But he looks so much like me; I don’t see any of Neil in him. He probably wouldn’t notice.”

“Maybe not,” Brian said. “But I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Do you not want to be a part of our lives, Brian? I thought when we talked I’d made it clear that if there was going to be a you and me that would include Riordan too.”

“I love both of you, Justin. I want to be in your lives. I just think you should think about it,” Brian told him.

“I have,” Justin said adamantly. “Before I even met you I was going to list his other father as unknown on the birth certificate. I don’t ever want my baby to think that his other father wasn’t a good man. Neil wasn’t the kind of man I ever want to tell Riordan about. I might think differently with time, but right now I know I don't. Who knows? I might tell him we lived together if he ever asks who he was, but that will be the extent of it. I don’t want him ever knowing who Neil really was, and that he came from that man. I might wish he were here to see him, because he helped make him, but I don’t really. I have a good man here with me, you. That’s why I want you to be his father. If that’s not who you really want to be to him…”

The baby let out a wailing cry, cutting off Brian and Justin’s conversation. Justin moved him to his shoulder to pat him on the back. “Come on little one. Give Dada a good burp,” Justin encouraged.

Brian was at a total loss as to what to do and say. He wanted to be Riordan’s father. He really did. But he was still so unsure of his abilities to actually be one.

“Brian, would you change his diaper and the bedding? I really need to go and take a shower and get refreshed,” Justin held out his whimpering baby.

Brian cautiously took him in his arms, “You don’t really want me to put him in that outfit, do you?”

Justin smirked. “No, the heat is on pretty high in here. He’ll be fine in just his diaper until I get out of the shower.”

“Where do I put him while I change the bed?” Brian was more than a little nervous to be left alone with the baby.

“Just set the pillows all around the chair cushions and put him in the center of them. He should be okay.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asked raising his eyebrow.

Justin laughed. “I think so. I’ve never done this before either, but I’m pretty sure he’s still too little to move around too much. I did read nearly every baby book possible.”

“Do you need help getting out of bed?” Brian asked, standing up with Riordan in his arms.

Justin moved his body slowly to the edge and stood up. “I’m fine. I just need to walk slowly. I feel surprisingly good for having a baby two hours ago.”

“You did really well, Justin,” Brian praised.

“I think I was lucky. Normally people don’t usually have babies after only an hour of pushing, especially their first child.”

“You sure you don’t want me to get him a blanket out of the nursery?” Brian asked.

“No,” Justin said as he walked toward the bathroom door. “Its pretty hot in here, Brian, I don’t want to get him overheated and the skin-to-skin contact is really good for babies when they’re first born. When we turn the heat down later we can dress him.”

Brian walked over to Justin and kissed his forehead. “If you need help while you’re in there call me, okay?”

Justin looked at Brian and nodded; he couldn’t speak because his emotions were once again soaring. The image of Brian holding his baby in his arms was so breathtaking. He could tell that Brian wasn’t very confident about taking care of Riordan, but he also knew that Brian would be fine. He was the reason Justin was able to relax and give birth so easily and quickly. He had shown so much strength that it only affirmed to Justin the kind of man he knew Brian was.
 

***
 

Justin walked out of the bathroom, feeling a million times better once he had showered. His heart nearly jumped out of his throat at the sight he saw on the bed. Brian lay sleeping, holding Riordan on his chest. He quickly grabbed his camera and took a picture of the beautiful sight.

Justin reluctantly tore his gaze away from the man and child and walked over to his dresser. He put on a pair of sweatpants and then went to look out his bedroom windows to check the weather. The sun was melting the snow; he could see Brian’s car and knew that the man would be able to drive now. Everything looked slushy. They’d definitely be able to leave and go to the hospital soon.

Justin was convinced there had to be some kind of design of fate that he and Brian had met, and the twist of him giving birth to his son, and now the snow melting faster than he’d ever seen it melt before; there was no denying it. Justin knew that not all of these things could be circumstantial; something was pulling him, Brian and Riordan together.

Justin crawled into the bed, pulled the sheet over his lover, child, and himself, and snuggled next to Brian and his baby. It was only about ten and he hoped that by the time Riordan woke them up, the snow would have melted even more. Maybe by then Brian could take them to the hospital. He was anxious to bring his son in to be checked out just to be sure everything was all right. Though it did seem that Riordan was more than healthy, Justin knew he was a few weeks early and he wanted to be sure as soon as possible that Riordan was okay. However, for now he just closed his eyes and went to sleep, as exhaustion from previous events overtook him.
 

***
 

Definitely looks like a place Justin would create for a baby, doesn’t it?

“It’s so nice seeing him in his crib,” Justin mused. “After all the time I spent on his room, he’s finally here to see it. But I don’t think he cares too much.”

“When he’s older he’ll really appreciate everything you did with his room, Justin. I know he will.” Brian gave Justin a hug as they watched the baby sleep. Brian thought he looked identical to Justin.

“Do you want to go and get the car warmed up, Brian? I’ll finish packing his diaper bag and things.”

“You’re sure you want to go today? You don’t want to wait until tomorrow?” Brian asked.

“As long as you’re fine with driving, I definitely want to go. I know that Riordan seems to be really healthy and I feel great, but I want to make sure. I don’t think I’ll stop wondering until a doctor checks us both out. I know it’s Christmas, but I’m sure the hospital staff won’t mind seeing this Christmas present,” Justin laughed.

“Probably not,” Brian agreed. “He is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. Especially, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, in that Santa outfit.”

Justin laughed. “He’ll look even cuter once I put his little red hat on too, but I don’t want him to get too hot. Even though we turned the heat down, it’s still pretty warm in here.”

“I still can’t believe it’s gone from a freezing blizzard to nearly a spring day in a matter of hours,” Brian mused. “But it did get us stuck together, so I’d say it was worth it.”

Justin nodded, grabbed Brian’s face in his hands and gave him a deep kiss. “Go get that car started, Kinney. I’m ready to go show off Riordan. Dr. Rhine is going to have a cow.”

“You think he’ll be working now?”

“Yeah, I remember he told me had other patients due today, so at the very least he’ll be on call.”

“Well, I’ll check my cell phone and see if it works; maybe we’ll be able to call ahead,” Brian said. He really was worried about driving Justin and Riordan all the way to the hospital only to have Justin be disappointed that his doctor wasn’t there.

“Okay, now get out of here…” Justin said, bumping Brian’s hip with his own.

“I will,” Brian laughed. “It’s not my fault that I can’t stop looking at him, or you.”

“I know what you mean,” Justin sighed, staring down at his son.

“I’m serious, Justin. I will carry the baby seat to the car. I do not care if you say you are feeling fine. I don’t want you lifting that heavy thing,” Brian told him with a stern look.

“I am okay, Brian. Though I wonder if he’s supposed to be sleeping so much. I didn’t think he’d sleep five hours without waking up. Now he’s sleeping again.”

“Well, you just fed him; that’s probably why he’s sleeping now. As for before, maybe he knew we all needed our rest, but we’ll ask the doctor.”

“Thank you, Brian,” Justin said softly. “You really kept me sane during the labor and you’re still keeping me that way now.”

“I just want you and Riordan safe. I don’t want you trying to maneuver the baby and the diaper bag down the stairs. You wait for me up here, okay?”

Justin gave Brian a hug and smiled. “Okay. I will.”

 

***
 

“Shh… its okay, Dada will hold you in just a minute…” Brian rocked the baby outside of the curtained-off exam room that Justin was in with the doctor. “You don’t need to be changed, baby boy. What do you need? Your pacifier?” Brian ruffled through the diaper bag to find one and tried to put it in the baby’s mouth. “No? You don’t want it,” Brian said.

Justin could hear the trouble Brian was having with his son. “Brian, why don’t you walk him up and down the hall; we’ll be done in just a few minutes and it might calm him.”

“Okay, I’ll be back in a bit,” Brian said, leaving the diaper bag next to the car seat outside the curtain and walking down the hall as he bounced the baby in his arms. He didn’t think that’d he’d feel so comfortable with the newborn so quickly. Riordan still felt very fragile in his arms, but he also seemed to fit and mold into them. Brian really enjoyed that feeling.

 

***
 

“Well Justin, I have to say that you are doing amazingly well and I’m glad to have seen that your son is too. Are you sure you aren’t experiencing any pain or fatigue?”

Justin shook his head. “It’s amazing. I actually feel really good. I’m a little sore but I’m telling you, once I started pushing and with Brian's encouragement, it was like all the pain left me. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you deliver like we planned, but I’m glad Mr. Kinney was there with you.”

“So am I. He did everything right. He encouraged me and he never blanched at all the gross stuff. He really took care of me and Riordan.”

“He’s a good man,” Dr. Rhine commented before instructing Justin to put his clothes back on.

“I love him,” Justin admitted.

The doctor smiled, glad that his young patient seemed to have finally found happiness. He was usually very withdrawn. “I would normally keep you and your baby here for a day, but seeing that it is Christmas and that you are both in perfect health, I’m going to let you go back home with some instructions. However, there is one thing that I need you to do before you go.”

“What’s that?” Justin asked as he buttoned up the last button on his shirt.

“I’ll need you to fill out his birth certificate,” Dr. Rhine told him, taking out a small stack of papers and handing them to Justin.

Justin looked at them and filled in the spaces he could before handing it back to the doctor.

Dr. Rhine glanced over the papers. “Everything looks all set. Riordan Daniel Taylor-Kinney, a good name. But what about where it lists paternal father? You forgot that one, Justin.”

“I didn’t forget,” Justin, sighed. “I…I…”

Brian opened the curtain and stepped inside. He’d gotten the baby to quiet down fairly quickly and had heard the last bits of conversation. “He was just waiting for me to fill that part out,” Brian announced.

Justin felt tears come into his eyes as Brian walked over and transferred his son into his arms. He was more than surprised, but so very happy too.

“Oh well, wonderful!” Dr. Rhine handed over the forms and instructed Brian on how to fill them out.

Justin watched in awe as Brian signed his name in the spots.

“Taylor-Kinney?” Brian asked turning around to smile at Justin.

Justin wiped at his tears and nodded. “I wanted him to have both of his father’s names.”

Brian smiled and nodded, acknowledging to himself what a huge life-changing decision he’d made in seconds outside the curtain. He didn’t want Riordan to not have a father listed on his birth certificate. He wanted to be his father, he did. He wanted to be a family with the baby and Justin.

He handed the papers back to the doctor and thought happily, There’s no turning back now. He looked over at Justin who had a receiving blanket draped over the baby as he nursed him and felt an indescribable feeling come over him that he’d never known before. Justin looked up and smiled at him and Brian could do nothing but smile back, holding Justin’s gaze with his own teary one. The feeling was without a doubt what it felt like to be complete.
 

XXXXX

Part B

“Really, this isn’t necessary.” Justin laughed as the nurse wheeled him and Riordan out of the hospital doors and to Brian’s awaiting car.

“It’s hospital policy,” the nurse said, smiling.

Justin pulled the baby blanket tighter around his son as he stood up from the chair. “Thank you.”

“Congratulations and Merry Christmas,” the woman told them.

“You too,” Justin and Brian told her in unison.

Brian took Riordan from Justin. “I got it all buckled in but you should check.”

Justin smiled. “You got it fine on the way here, Brian. I trust you.”

Brian nodded and proceeded to climb into the tight space of the back seat to put the baby in. Riordan was once again asleep; something the doctor had told the men to be very thankful for because the baby wouldn’t always be so easy. They were both relieved to hear that there wasn’t anything wrong with it; as long as the baby was eating, it would be okay.

“I need a new car,” Brian said, climbing out and then helping Justin into his seat.

“What do you need a new car for? Didn’t you just buy this one?” Justin asked once Brian got in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, I did, but there’s no way we’re going to be able fit one of those bigger seats when he gets older. The baby seat barely fits back there and it’s really hard to get in and out. I need something bigger with four doors,” Brian told him.

Justin smiled brightly at Brian. “You know, once we can get the Jeep towed and fixed I’m sure that will be enough. I know you love your car.”

Brian smiled, and he tried, he really tried not to say what he was thinking but he couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth as he leaned over and kissed Justin’s lips. “I love you and our son more than my car.”

Justin laughed and kissed Brian back. “You are really cheesy.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. No one would ever believe that if you told them,” Brian said laughing back and slowly making his way toward the hospital exit.

Just then Brian’s phone started to ring.

“I guess it finally charged enough,” Brian said, pulling over into an unoccupied space in the parking lot and grabbing the phone. “It’s Debbie,” he said nervously.

Justin put his hand on Brian’s knee and asked, “Are you going to answer it?”

“I’m not going to hide anything from them anymore,” Brian said and flipped open the phone.

Justin laced his fingers through Brian’s brought them up to his lips to kiss them in an encouraging gesture.

“Kinney,” Brian said in a strong tone.

“Brian, where are you? We’ve been worried sick!” Debbie yelled into the phone.

“I told you I was going out of town,” Brian told her, feeling a little guilty but also a little glad that he mattered enough to worry her. He’d thought he’d fallen off his surrogate mother’s radar a long time before.

“Well, you couldn’t have. We know all the flights were grounded until this morning. I’ve been trying to call your cell phone. Michael and Ben never left and they went by your loft last night and didn’t find you there.”

“I’m fine, Ma, no need to worry,” Brian told her. “I’m in one piece. I’m fantastic actually.”

“Well, where are you?” The woman asked in a calmer voice.

“I just got back into town. I was stranded out in West Virginia for a little while,” Brian said with a laugh.

“What the fuck were you doing out there?”

“It’s a surprise,” Brian told her.

“A surprise? You know I don’t like surprises. Now I suggest you get your ass over here and have Christmas dinner with your family and then you can tell me all about this surprise,” Debbie ordered.

“I can’t, Deb; maybe I’ll come by tomorrow,” Brian said.

“Brian Kinney. I know you don’t like holidays but you need to spend them with your family.”

“I am,” Brian admitted and looked at Justin with a small smile.

“What? No! Don’t tell me you’re at your mother’s house. I wouldn’t believe that.”

“Brian,” Justin whispered tapping Brian’s leg.

“Hold on, Debbie,” Brian said and put the woman on hold, much to her displeasure. “What is it, Justin?”

“If you want to go see your family you can leave me and Riordan at your loft or something,” Justin said.

“No, I don’t want to leave you,” Brian told him. “It’s like I told her, I’m with my family. I want to spend this Christmas with you; it’s been the best one I’ve ever had.”

“But they’re so worried about you,” Justin told him. “Maybe you should go, just for a little while.”

Brian thought for a moment. “Do you think you could handle an hour or so with them? Having dinner or whatever?”

“Sure… I was going to suggest that. I’m fine, really. I just didn’t want to intrude and I know that you said that Riordan and I will be a shock to them, so I thought you might want a little time.”

Brian grabbed Justin and kissed him quickly. “I told you, Justin, I’m not hiding shit from them anymore. I’m happy to have you and…our son in my life. I just wasn’t sure you’d be up for it or I would have agreed to go first thing. I mean, are you sure, my family is a little hard to take. I told you what they think, they might say things that…”

“I don’t care.” Justin brushed his hand along Brian’s cheek. “I don’t care what anyone has to say about you or us. I love you and all I care about is knowing that you love me and Riordan too. I mean, you don’t think they’re going to be mean to us or anything?”

“I doubt it,” Brian said. “But I’ll protect you. And I’ll make sure they all know that you just had the baby today, so they’ll need to take it easy around you and sonny-boy.”

“Okay then,” Justin said with a smile. “Tell her you’re coming then!”

Brian clicked back. “Debbie, I’ll be there.”

“What? You will?”

“Yeah, and I’ll be bringing my surprises with me. But I want you to promise me something right now.”

“What, Brian? You’re starting to freak me out!” Debbie admitted.

“You cannot scream,” Brian told her.

“What? You’re making this sound even worse than what I’m thinking,” Debbie said worriedly.

“I promise you’ll like the surprise, but it’s a very delicate one so be gentle,” Brian advised.

“Flowers, Brian?” Debbie guessed. “Did you get me flowers?”

“I’ll see you in about ten minutes, Debbie,” Brian said before hanging up and turning to face Justin who was gently squeezing his hand. “She’s going to flip,” Brian laughed. “They’re all going to flip out. I can just see the looks on their faces.”

Justin held onto his lover’s hand the entire ride to the small, old neighborhood of Pittsburgh. Brian tried to fill him in and warn him about what was to take place, though Justin was sure nothing could really prepare him.

Brian had to park down the street a ways because there were so many cars parked beside the houses. He spotted each one of his friend’s vehicles parked in a line down the block. He helped Justin out of the car and then crawled into the back. “Do you want to take his seat in or take him out of the seat?”

Justin shifted the diaper bag on his shoulder. “You can just take him out, but wrap him up well in that thick red blanket and tuck him inside your coat. It’s starting to get a little chilly again.”

“I think this has to be the first Christmas since I’ve been alive that the weather was above seventy degrees,” Brian said from inside the car as he laid Riordan, who was now awake, on the seat and swaddled him with the blanket as Justin taught him.

“Maybe I should have named him Sunny or Sunshine,” Justin laughed as Brian got out of the car, the baby tucked into his chest and under his jacket.

Brian shook his head and gazed at Justin’s bright smile, golden blond hair and shining blue eyes. “If anyone deserves that name it’s you, Justin.”

Justin smiled even more and gripped Brian’s free elbow with his hand as they slowly walked along the slush-filled sidewalk. “Brian, I know we worked out how we’re going to tell them we met… but are you sure they’re going to believe it.”

“Oh yeah,” Brian told him. “They think the last year I’ve been off tricking in different cities and what-not or whatever; they know I haven’t been around and that I haven’t shared everything with them. Once I tell them, they’ll think it’s the reason I’d been going out of town so much. They’re going to be shocked, but I think they’ll accept it and be happy. If not, then we’ll leave. And I want you to tell me if you start to feel tired or uncomfortable the second you do, and we will go back to the house okay?”

“I will,” Justin promised.

“Here it is,” Brian said as they turned and started to walk up the tiny walkway and then carefully walked up the steps to the house.

Justin took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Brian knocked on the door and then grabbed his hand.

The door swung open. “Why on earth are you knock…”

Brian laughed at the look on Debbie’s face. “Well, are you going to invite us in?” He was taking great pleasure in making the woman speechless and knew that she hadn’t noticed the little bundle he carried in his coat.

“Well… well sure, come on in…” Debbie said backing away from the door to let the two men inside. “Look everyone, Brian’s here and he’s brought someone with him.”

Justin and Brian stepped inside the warm house and looked at the entire group of people that were speechless.

Justin just held Brian’s hand and blushed under all the astounded gazes.

“Everyone,” Brian said turning to look at Justin with a smile, “this is my fiance, Justin.” He then released Justin’s hand, unbuttoned his coat, and revealed the tiny bundle that was starting to make little noises. “This is our son, Riordan. He was born this morning.”

“Oh my god!” Debbie gasped and then covered her mouth, trying not to squeal. “It’s a little baby Santa Claus… he’s so adorable!”

Brian handed the baby to Justin and took off his coat. He then helped Justin off with his coat, took the diaper bag and hung it up. “What? Doesn’t anyone have anything to say?”

“He’s beautiful,” Debbie leaned in to look at the child.

Justin smiled. “He really is.”

“You have a baby, Uncle Brian?” Mattie, the older of Lindsay and Melanie’s daughters, broke the silent tension and then everyone else started to ask questions.

“We’ll answer all your questions one at a time,” Brian told the now loud crowd. “But can you keep it down? Like I said, Justin just had the baby this morning and I don’t want you scaring him or Riordan off.”

“Yes, now hush,” Debbie scolded everyone as she led Brian and Justin over to where they had the two tables pushed together. “Here Justin, you sit in this chair; it’s the most comfortable,” Debbie told him pulling out her own chair and sliding it beside the empty place setting.

“Thank you,” Justin said quietly. Justin was surprised at how calm everyone actually was. He’d expected a lot worse from Brian’s description.

“Ben, can you please go up and get Michael’s old desk chair for me?”

“Sure,” Ben told her and quickly did as asked.

Debbie served the boys food and once Ben had gotten her chair she said, “I guess since Brian isn’t going to do it I’ll introduce everyone.”

“I was only waiting until they calmed down,” Brian said with a smile; everyone at the table noticed they’d never seen one so genuine. Brian then went through the introductions, and everyone was thankfully polite in their greetings.

“Justin, I’m done eating so if you’d like I can hold the baby while you eat,” Ted stated, surprising everyone but Brian.

Justin knew how highly Brian thought of the other man and agreed. Ted stood and went around the table. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Justin and Brian said.

“Oh, look at you, you’re a little doll and you look just like your Daddy, don’t you?” Ted cooed as he sat down beside Blake.

“He really does look like Brian, doesn’t he?” Blake said smiling.

Brian and Justin just looked at each other and smiled.

“I think it’s the nose and ears,” Ted agreed.

“Oh, he’s opening his eyes,” Michael said, leaning over to look at his best friend’s child.

“Those are definitely Justin’s eyes,” Ben said. “Wow, he is beautiful.”

Justin and Brian watched over the baby as they ate their food and everyone seemed to be lost in the newborn and eventually had passed him along to every one of the adults sitting at the table, forgetting about all the questions they had for the two men.

It was time for dessert to be passed around and Debbie finally asked them to explain. “So Brian, please tell me how long and why you have been keeping this from us?”

Brian wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Justin and I met last year and one thing led to another. We started seeing each other and I wanted to keep him a secret so I didn’t introduce you to him right away.”

“Brian, it’s not like we would have run him off,” Debbie chided.

“Yes,” Brian said firmly. “You all would have, maybe not knowingly but you would have. I’ve changed in the last year in more ways than you know, you guys didn’t even realize. So when we found out Justin had gotten pregnant…”

“You weren’t having safe sex?” Michael said, appalled.

“Michael, the girls!” Melanie chided him, looking at her daughters who were eating pie, oblivious to the conversation.

“We were, but the condom broke and well, now we have Riordan,” Brian explained. “He and Justin are a part of my life. I love them both and they aren’t ever going to go anywhere. Justin knows about my past and he still loves me. We’re going to raise Riordan together and get married.”

“I think that’s great, Bri,” Ted spoke up.

Lindsay smiled, “It’s about time.”

“Now, why isn’t Justin in the hospital? You do mean he had the baby today?” Debbie asked.

“Well, we were stranded out in West Virginia. See, I was out of town; that’s where Justin lives. Early this morning he woke up, the snow was still pretty packed in by then, and along came an early morning Christmas present.” Brian brushed his fingers along Riordan’s soft cheek; Justin now held the baby in his arms.

“You had the baby at home?” Lindsay gasped and rubbed her own belly.

“Yes, and Brian was wonderful,” Justin said. “He really did an amazing job delivering him.”

“After we all took a nap the snow had melted enough for us to go into town. We took Justin and Riordan to Allegheny to have them both checked out,” Brian said. “They’re both doing amazing and are in perfect health.”

“And you came here?” Melanie asked. “I couldn’t walk around until a few days after I had Mattie and Abby.”

“I’m feeling fine,” Justin told her. “The birth, considering our circumstances, was relatively easy and I’m not really in that much pain. I just feel sore and tired.”

Brian looked at Justin concerned. “Are you needing to lie down? Do you want to go home?”

“You can go and rest up in my bed if you need to, Justin,” Emmett told him.

“No, thank you, Emmett, though I appreciate the offer. We’ll be leaving pretty soon, but I’ll be okay for a little while,” Justin smiled. He was very glad that everyone seemed to be so welcoming and happy for them. He was so happy to finally feel like he was once again part of a family.

“Are you sure, Sunshine?” Brian asked, twirling the back of Justin’s blond locks in his fingers.

Justin nodded, “Yes, I’m fine. But I think I might take Emmett up on his offer to go and feed Riordan if that’s okay.”

“Sure, baby,” Emmett said. “I’ll carry the little one up if Brian wants to help you up the stairs.”

Justin pushed his chair out. “Thank you. I’d really appreciate that.”

Emmett came around and took the baby. “He really does have your nose and ears, Brian. It’s amazing.”

Brian helped Justin up from the table, even though the boy protested. Not any of these attentive actions went unnoticed. As soon as they reached the top of the stairs they could hear the family whispering.

Emmett gave Brian a look that said, “Well, what did you expect?”

Brian only smirked in return; up until that point he’d been pleasantly surprised with how the family had acted.

“Just through here,” Emmett said, leading Justin and Brian into his room.

“Thank you so much, Emmett,” Justin said as the man handed him his child back.

“Here sweetheart,” Emmett propped some of his fluffy pillows up on the bed and gestured for Justin to sit down.

“Thanks, Em,” Brian told his friend.

“Oh, it’s no trouble. I also have a body pillow in my closet, that’ll make you and the baby more comfortable, won’t it?”

“Yes, thank you,” Justin smiled.

Brian watched in awe as Emmett hurried to help with Justin. He knew that his family would be accepting of Justin and the baby, but he hadn’t ever thought that it would go as well as it did. Emmett was going out of his way, and that really made Brian proud to call the man his friend.

Justin got comfortable. “I really appreciate this, Emmett. Thank you.”

Emmett smiled. “You’re family now, baby.”

Justin smiled widely and felt tears come into his eyes.

Emmett surprised Brian even more when he took him into his arms and gave him a hug and said, “I’m really happy for you, Brian. Congratulations.”

Brian was too stunned to say anything as his friend kissed his cheek and then closed his bedroom door behind him.

“I really like Emmett,” Justin said quietly.

Brian walked over and crawled in the bed beside Justin and the baby. “He definitely likes you. My whole family does.”

“It’s really nice to feel so…”

“Loved,” Brian finished for him. “You’re very easy to fall in love with, Justin.”

Justin ran his free hand through Brian’s hair. “So are you.”

“You know we aren’t off the hook yet. They’re still gonna be grilling us for more details,” Brian told him, his head leaning into Justin’s caresses. His own hand reached out and caressed his son’s soft blond hair.

“I don’t care,” Justin said. “I have you and now a family for the first time in so long. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“We still haven’t gotten married,” Brian said.

Justin laughed, causing the baby to whimper, making them both laugh more. “I think I’m disturbing his meal.”

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Brian asked.

“No, not unless you think you might want to go talk to your family by yourself,” Justin said.

“Nah, I think I’ll pass,” Brian said.

“I enjoy having you close while I feed him.”

“It’s amazing watching you. That’s all I keep thinking. He’s such a good baby. I don’t know much about babies, but I don’t think they’re normally as good as he is.”

“I think you may be right,” Justin said. “I’m pretty easygoing though, so maybe he got my disposition.”

“They all think he has my ears and nose,” Brian whispered, reminding him.

“It’s weird,” Justin said. “But I can totally see that.”

“You mean they aren’t Neil's?”

“No,” Justin interrupted. “Definitely not. I do wish I had some of my baby pictures. I mean, I know he looks a lot like me, but I’d like to see how much.”

“Do you want to contact your parents, Justin?”

“I’ve thought over it again and again, but I don’t think so. They’d be so disappointed in me,” Justin said.

“I’m not anyone to advocate family reunions, but how exactly do you think they’d be disappointed in you, Justin?”

“I’m not married, I’m not going to school and I have a baby,” Justin listed off the reasons.

“Well, we are getting married. I’d like to do that as soon as possible. With the money I’ve got I’m sure I could arrange the wedding of our dreams for New Year’s Eve,” Brian told him.

“Brian, I have money too, you know. If we’re together then I want to be equal partners. I know the source of my money isn’t the same as yours, but I still want to contribute equally to everything.”

“Then you’re going to have to let me pay half of the mortgage,” Brian said.

“I don’t have a mortgage, Brian,” Justin said slowly. “But I’ll be adding your name if you’re saying you want to move out there with us.”

“Justin, how many times do I have to tell you I want to be with you? I want to marry you. I know for us it’s fast, but I don’t care. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I love your home.”

“I guess New Year’s Eve would be fine then,” Justin said.

“Emmett will be very happy,” Brian told him. “He’s a party planner.”

“Yeah, I heard him mentioning something about that at dinner.”

“So that takes care of you being married. As for you not going to school, you were until you got pregnant. That’s all they need to know.”

“They’re going to ask about Neil,” Justin said.

“Just tell them Neil is in the past and like we told my family, we’ve been together for a little over a year right?”

“Yeah,” Justin agreed. “But Riordan, I don’t know how they’ll react to him.

“Justin, I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of. If they have a problem then that’s too bad, but I do think you should maybe give them a chance.”

“I’ll think about it, Brian,” Justin said.

“Okay,” Brian told him. “I’m behind you in whatever you decide. I just don’t want you or our son missing out on something.”

“How could I miss out on anything when I have you and Riordan, Brian?” Justin asked.

Brian sat up and took Justin’s face in his hand. “I feel the same way about you both. I love you, Justin.”

“I love you, Brian,” Justin whispered and leaned forward to kiss his lover.

Their kissing was interrupted as the baby started to cry. “Oh, Riordan.”

“Do you want me to take him?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, here, he’s getting a little fussy. This might be the start of him acting like all the other newborns,” Justin joked as he handed his son to Brian.

“Maybe we should go say goodbye and head home?” Brian said.

“Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea. Laying down definitely made me a little more tired,” Justin admitted as he slowly got out of the bed.

“What do you think, Riordan? Are you ready to go home with your daddies?” He cooed softly as he bounced the baby in his arm.

Justin walked up beside Brian, amazed at how easily his son calmed down once Brian started talking to him. “You are such a good father, Brian.”

Brian looked at him, surprised. “I haven’t even been one for a full day.”

Justin nodded. “But seeing you with him after only that long, that’s how I know, Brian.”

Brian was a little shocked at Justin’s words but he believed him. He believed for the first time in his life that he really could be a good father. He could be a good husband. It was all because of Justin’s faith in him. Just as he had told him as Justin started to struggle that morning to bring their son into the world, he too could do anything, especially with Justin and Riordan by his side.

The End
 

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