Credence
 

Chapter Six: “Pucker Up”


A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman

 

*****

August Part 1

“Justin, you’ve changed shirts like nine times,” Daphne pointed out, falling back onto the king sized bed.

Trent echoed Daphne’s move and winced when he looked at the time. “It’s almost midnight. By the time you decide on what you’re going to wear all the hot guys will have left and we’ll be forced to dance with trolls.”

“Leave me alone.” Justin turned back and forth in front of the mirror, ignoring his friends and pretending to critique his skintight baby blue tank. He knew he was delaying the inevitable but he almost wished he could just fake sick and stay home.

In the reflection, Daphne caught Justin’s expression of doom. She sat up and demanded, “Tell us what’s really going on. You know damn well you look like liquid sex in that outfit so what is it?”

Trent once again mirrored Daphne’s position. “Yeah, I thought you said you weren’t nervous about seeing Brian because he may not even be there.”

Justin gave up and turned to face his friends. “But if he is… then… then you want me to make him jealous and I don’t think I can do that.”

Trent scoffed. “Look at you! You’re fucking gorgeous. Every man in Babylon is going to be jealous of me.”

“And the women too,” Daphne added, “even if they’re gay. Stop acting as if you don’t know how hot you are. You’ll make everyone, including Brian, if he’s there, turn green with envy when they see you dancing with Trent.”

“But I don’t want that,” Justin confessed. “I’ve been thinking about this all day and I don’t want to make Brian jealous.”

“Why the fuck not?” Trent asked, lighting a cigarette. “He deserves to see what he’s missing after ignoring you.”

“He won’t be able to ignore you tonight,” Daphne said, eyeing Justin provocatively.

Justin blushed and rolled his eyes. “If that’s true, then I don’t need him to see me and Trent humping on the dance floor to get his attention.”

“Yes. You do,” Trent countered. “He needs to understand that you can have anyone you want and he should feel lucky you want him!”

“But I can’t have anyone I want. Not really; and I don’t just want anyone. I want Brian and I don’t want to manipulate his barbaric instincts into wanting a relationship with me. Jesus, you guys, do you understand how fucking nuts this is? Brian Kinney is the one who can have anyone and he doesn’t have rules about monogamy; he doesn’t believe in it so why would he consider doing it for me?”

Trent grabbed Justin’s arm, pulled him so he sat between him and Daphne, and handed him his cigarette. “Calm down.” He waited for Justin to take a few drags and watched as his friend visibly relaxed. “First. Stop with this pitiful bullshit inferring that you’re not good enough for Brian Kinney. Second. Realize that you are far, far better than any man Brian could ever fuck. Third. Brian Kinney is so lucky that you even spend two seconds thinking about him.”

“And fourth,” Daphne said, rubbing Justin’s shoulder, “you’re strong, confident and you don’t second-guess yourself, so you are going to promise me that you’re not going to do that again tonight. You are going to promise me that you’re going to walk into that club like you own the place and no matter what happens you’re going to walk out of it the same fucking way.”

Justin laughed and felt a little more empowered with his friends backing him up. “Fine. But the plan is off.” He stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray and declared, “I’m ready.”

“Why is the plan off?” Trent asked, following Justin into the living room of the suite.

“Yeah?” asked Daphne. “We get that you don’t need to make Brian jealous to make him want you but…”

“Because if we do get together, I don’t want it to be because I manipulated him. I lied to him enough already, even if it was a lie by omission. He may not ever admit it, but I hurt him by not telling him the truth right away. I’ve been paying for that for the last month. I want Brian on my terms but I also want him on his terms. I don’t want to be in love with him six months from now and be wondering if the only reason he decided to be with me is because he really wanted to or because I made him jealous and he didn’t want anyone to play with his ‘toy’ on his playground.”

“You’re sure about this?” Daphne asked.

“Because if you want to enact the plan at any point all you have to do is say the word and you’ll have an instant boyfriend,” Trent offered.

Justin opened the door to the suite and ushered his friends out of it before giving them both a bright smile. “I’m positive that won’t be necessary. If Brian’s there, I’ll talk to him without any help from anyone. He can’t hide from me forever.”

“That’s the spirit!” Daphne yelled.

Justin giggled, pressing the button for the elevator. “Shh… people are sleeping.”

Trent mocked, “It’s not like they’d kick you out. Hey, that’s one way to get his attention if he isn’t there tonight.”

The elevator doors opened and Justin pulled his friends with him, silently praying that he wouldn’t need to do anything that drastic to get Brian’s attention.
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Michael watched in shock as Brian danced with Emmett. “Things are getting weirder and weirder.”

Ben sighed. “What?”

“Brian!”

“Of course,” Ben teased.

“Have you ever seen Brian ask Emmett to dance?” Michael asked.

Ben thought about it. “Now that you mention it, no.”

“And have you ever seen Brian only drink two beers in three hours?”

“You counted?” Ben asked. He saw Michael give him an annoyed expression and answered, “To the best of my knowledge, no.”

“And have you ever seen him go without fucking or getting sucked off by at least one stud in the same time period?” Michael persisted.

“No, and I know what you’re getting at, but he probably just has jet-lag.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Brian doesn’t get jet-lag. Even if he did, he wouldn’t get cock-lag.”

Ben laughed, “How creative.” He kissed Michael’s cheek. “Stop worrying about Brian and Justin.”

“I’m not worried exactly, I’m just curious because I think Brian has made a decision. He hasn’t been avoiding Babylon because he’s had work at Kinnetik or because he’s been avoiding Justin. It’s because he made that decision and he isn’t tricking.”

“Well whatever the decision is, we need to stay out of it.”

“Of course, that’s been my plan all evening. I don’t want Brian to run when he sees Justin.”

“If he comes,” Ben said, glancing at his watch. “It’s after 12:30. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve said nothing to anyone about him coming.”

Michael looked at his toes for a minute. “I just didn’t want to spoil it.”

“Forcing Justin on Brian isn’t a good idea, even if Brian made the right decision.”

Michael smiled. “No one could force them. Brian just needed a tiny shove and Justin will be here, I’m sure of it.”

Ben planted a long wet kiss on Michael’s lips and whispered in his ear, “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

Michael wondered where his positive-thinking fiancé went and was about to ask him when he saw Brian and Emmett returning to the bar from their excursion on the dance floor. At the same time, Ted arrived, waving Brian down, most likely to tell him about the latest Babylon crisis.

“Oh my god, did you see the new guy cruising Brian?” Emmett asked, bouncing up to Michael and Ben.

Michael shook his head. “Which one?” He’d seen quite a few newbies cruising his best friend.

Emmett pointed out the tall, muscular blond man dancing uninhibitedly. “Look at him. Isn’t he hot? God, what I wouldn’t give to wrap my legs around that waist.”

“So why don’t you go after him?” Michael asked.

Emmett sighed dramatically. “Do you have to ask?” He pointed at Brian who was now walking up to the bar, Ted trailing behind him.

“What?” Brian asked, annoyed by his friends staring at him.

“I was just telling Ben and Michael about that blond who was eyefucking you while we danced. Why aren’t you in the backroom fucking him right now?” Emmett boldly asked.

“You can have him,” Brian grunted.

At that moment, as if completing the unspoken thought in Brian’s head, ‘I have my own blond,’ Justin Taylor walked into Babylon, Daphne and Trent flanking him as they headed directly toward them.

Brian stared at Justin, his entire body sizzling with heat as their eyes met and Justin flashed him a blinding smile. A tight feeling constricted in his chest, and though Brian would say it was something else that caused him to turn away from Justin, the truth was he started to panic about his decision. He practically leapt over to the far end of the bar, leaving his friends to greet the new arrivals as he demanded a shot from the bartender.
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Michael, doing his best not to worry about Brian’s asinine departure, pasted a smile on his face and hugged Justin. “I wasn’t sure you were going to come.”

“Justin had to change shirts like a thousand times,” Daphne spoke up.

“Shut up,” Justin laughed. He gestured to his friends. “This is Daphne and Trent.” He then pointed to his newer friends. “This is Michael, his boyfriend…excuse me, his fiancé, Ben. And this is Emmett and Ted.”

After everyone said hello, Daphne asked, “Who wants to go dance?”

“This happens to be my song,” Trent said, grabbing Daphne’s hand.

“You’re done working, right?” Emmett asked, grabbing Ted’s hands.

“Until the boss determines otherwise,” Ted replied, allowing Emmett to pull him along.

Michael glanced back at Brian and then back to Justin and Ben. “Let’s dance.”
 

~~~~~~~~~~

“You want another, Mr. Kinney?” Scott, the bartender asked.

“Not right now.” Brian let out a deep breath when he heard his friends say they were going to dance. He needed some time to collect himself before he did something stupid like run away. Michael knew that Justin was going to be there and hadn’t said a word to him, which meant that he was meddling and it didn’t piss him off as much as it aggravated him.

He needed time; time to figure out what exactly he needed to say to Justin. He didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding about where he saw their possible relationship in six months’ time and it wasn’t obvious to him yet how to get that across to him. He wanted every word mapped out in his head before he said a thing and Justin being here tonight complicated his plans. The only thing that was clear to him was that before he’d seen Justin he hadn’t been one-hundred percent sure about his decision, but the moment their eyes met, all his doubts faded. Now that he was certain of his decision, he was terrified of facing Justin.

“I know you said you’d call me but I thought I’d come and say hi anyway.” Justin had caught the enormous grin and the light in Brian’s eyes when they first saw one another. The smile left his face in a split-second; in place of it, a look of desperation Justin hated seeing. Brian had turned away, retreating to the bar to avoid him. Mostly, Justin was sure Brian was avoiding whatever feelings had prompted the smile he’d given him, the same feelings he felt upon seeing Brian.

The hand on his back made him stiffen as he slowly turned to face Justin. “Hi.” Brian felt like a fucking idiot when he heard how wobbly his voice was. How the fuck he’d let Justin get to him like this, he didn’t know.

Seeing the turmoil on Brian’s face, Justin knew he had to diffuse the situation. “My first day at the gallery is next Monday,” he said, trying to give Brian an out from the inner dialog Justin knew was going on in his mind.

Brian wanted to push Justin away and pull him closer all at the same time. Justin’s scent always intoxicated him, but after so long without smelling him, it was even more pungent. He struggled to reply, “That’s good.”

Justin smiled. “Yeah, it is. I’ll never have to serve food again!”

Brian finally composed himself enough to say in a clear voice, “Let’s drink to that.” He waved down the bartender. “Scott, two shots of whiskey, top-shelf and make sure you completely clean the glasses.” He watched as the bartender grabbed a half-empty bottle and stopped him. “Open a new one,” he ordered loudly. “I don’t want to take the chance that you’ve mixed that shit with something else.”

“I just opened this tonight,” Scott explained. “I’m the only one that’s been at my station.”

Brian slammed his hands down on the bar. “Scott, I said to open a new fucking bottle!”

“Sure,” Scott said, grabbing one from the stock under the bar. He made a point to grab two of the brand new glasses from the stock cabinet and washed them thoroughly. “Doubles?” he asked, placing the glasses in front of his boss and the beautiful blond twink accompanying him.

“Single is fine,” Brian replied in a slightly happier tone. He picked up his shot and raised it in the air. “To never serving food again.”

Justin held his glass up. “To never serving diner food ever again, ‘cause I don’t mind cooking.”

Brian laughed at Justin’s edit and nodded while clinking his glass. “To only serving food when you want to.”

Justin gulped his whiskey, coughing from the burn.

Alarmed at the coughing Brian placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders and asked, “Are you okay?”

Justin looked up into Brian’s eyes, so filled with concern and fear. “I’m all right,” he assured him, “just the burn of the liquor.”

Brian’s hands fell to his side. “Good. You want another?”

Justin shook his head. “No, I don’t want you to make him open up another bottle,” he joked. “You know, I could’ve just drunk a beer. You didn’t have to cause the bartender the trouble of having to open a new bottle for me, though I do appreciate that you did it.”

Brian snorted and gestured toward Scott who was flirting with one man beside them. “He is my employee; it’s my job to cause all of my employees at least a little bit of trouble every night.”

“Oh my god!” Justin gasped, looking around them and seeing Babylon with new eyes. “You own this place?”

Brian smiled proudly. “I bought it earlier this year after the previous owner ran it into the ground and got caught fucking around on his taxes.”

“How did I not know you owned Babylon?” Justin asked.

“I don’t know,” Brian said, shrugging.

Justin thought about all the other places Brian liked to go and asked, “Do you own the diner, Woody’s and the baths too?”

“No,” Brian said, amused. “Well… actually where Kinnetik is now used to be a bathhouse.”

Justin giggled but abruptly stopped when he heard the beginning of his favorite song. He looked out onto the dance floor to his friends. He wanted to dance, but he wasn’t confident enough to ask Brian to join him and he didn’t want to leave him at the bar either.

Justin didn’t have to worry, Brian was extremely observant and saw Justin’s expression go from happy and then change to indecisive. “Come on,” he said, realizing there was no point in putting Justin off. “Dance with me.
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian could tell that Justin was nervous dancing with him. The only time he seemed relaxed was when he wasn’t in Brian’s arms and was dancing by himself. After the third song, Brian realized that Justin was holding back because he had no idea what Brian’s boundaries were. He knew he needed to assure Justin, but he didn’t want to do that here at Babylon in front of all their friends. As the song ended, Brian was about to pull Justin off the dance floor when Trent invaded their space.

“So, Brian, I wanted to thank you for dinner,” Trent said, confusing the fuck out of Brian.

“What?” Brian asked, instinctively pulling Justin closer to him as Trent put his hands on Justin’s back and started grinding against him.

Justin rolled his eyes. “Trent and Daphne joined me for dinner at the Grille tonight.”

“It was delicious,” Trent said, licking his lips. He gave Brian a challenging look and taunted, “I wish I had a Sugar Daddy that could set me up the way you have Justin.”

“No matter what I tell people, they still think you’re keeping me,” Justin explained.

Brian’s first thought was, ‘I am’, but he quickly abandoned that and said smugly, “Hate to break it to you, Trent, but you’re not pretty enough to snag a Sugar Daddy.”

Justin giggled and turned to face Trent. “That isn’t true,” Trent said, pulling Daphne closer to them. “Is it?”

“What?” Daphne asked.

“Brian said I’m not pretty enough to be a kept boy!” Trent whined dramatically.

Daphne snorted and pinched Trent’s cheek. “Don’t listen to him.”

Brian leaned down and whispered in Justin’s ear, “I’m going to get a drink.”

“Okay,” Justin said, giving Brian another one of his blinding smiles.

Brian turned for the bar and grabbed his aching crotch, adjusting himself in his tight pants. He needed to get a drink before he grabbed Justin and forced him to his knees in the backroom.

“Will you get me a drink too?” Daphne asked, coming up beside Brian as he reached the bar. “I hear you own the place.”

Brian nodded. “What will you have?”

“Just a bottle of water.”

“You want me to buy you a drink but all you want is water?” Brian asked, confused.

“I can handle paying five dollars for a shot, but not for a bottled water,” Daphne explained.

“Understandable,” Brian said, waving Scott down. “Three bottles of water.”

“I take it the other one is for Justin?” Daphne asked, looking back to where her friend was dancing provocatively with Trent.

Scott handed them their waters and both Brian and Daphne took long drinks, surveying the crowd around them. “So, is it? Is the other one for Justin?” Daphne asked again.

Brian hadn’t heard Daphne’s question because his entire attention was focused on Justin and the annoying friend who currently had his hands squeezing the most perfect ass Brian had ever seen. He gritted his teeth in anger and glared in their direction.

“They’re only friends,” Daphne said. She thought Brian looked like a wolf about to pounce on his prey. “That’s all they’ll ever be, not like you guys,” she said, grinning widely as Brian looked at her.

“What makes you say that?”

Daphne sighed as if the fate of the world was entirely on her shoulders. “You know why I say that. I shouldn’t… no, I don’t have to explain that to you, Brian.”

“They’re practically fucking with their clothes on!” Brian almost put his hand over his mouth as he realized what he said aloud. He looked at Daphne and saw her dark eyes sparkling with amusement. “You think this little game he’s playing to make me jealous is funny?” he asked.

Daphne shook her head. “We told Justin he should come here tonight and try to make you jealous, show you what you’re missing.”

“And I guess you’re going to tell me he’s obviously succeeded.”

Daphne frowned. “No! You see, Justin planned to come here with Trent and make you so jealous that you couldn’t see straight!”

“Well he certainly isn’t abandoning the plan now, is he?” Brian asked, pissed off the moment he spoke because he should’ve just told her that he wasn’t jealous.

“Well Trent may not be abandoning it, but Justin did. Back at the hotel he told us that he didn’t want to do that to you. He doesn’t want to manipulate you into liking him, into wanting to be with him. He wants it to be entirely your decision whether you want him or not. He wants you to decide for yourself if he’s worth it, so that dancing he’s doing with Trent is as innocent as it can be. Justin wouldn’t go back on his decision about that, he was adamant about it. I assure you.”

“You think that is innocent?” Brian asked, his eyes watching every thrust of Justin’s crotch against Trent’s ass.

“He’s having fun. I bet you dance with Michael like that all the time.”

“I never dance like that!”

“Because you can’t,” Daphne said. Brian looked down at her angrily and she smirked, “Good, I finally have your attention, now can you stop thinking with your dick for like two minutes?”

“Just get to the point,” Brian said, barely restraining himself from charging onto the dance floor, throwing Justin over his shoulder and taking him home.

“He didn’t have to make you jealous to date him, to make you want to be with him, to make you want to break his rules for him. I saw your face when we came in, he already has you, doesn’t he?”

Brian bit his lip, the overwhelming urge to confirm Daphne’s words wreaking havoc inside of him.

“You don’t have to say anything, Brian.” Daphne grabbed the unopened bottle of water from the bar and handed it to Brian. “Just don’t make him wait too long. He doesn’t give up easily but he’s so torn up about what happened. He’s hurting over you and I know you don’t want that.”

As if in a daze, Brian followed Daphne back onto the dance floor, clutching the bottle of water tight in his hand when he spotted Justin push away from Trent and walk over to him. “Is that for me?” he asked, wiping the sweat from his hairline.

“Yeah,” Brian responded, his voice gruff. He stood completely still in the mass of his friends and other dancing men as he watched Justin drink. He’d never seen anyone as beautiful and perfect as Justin. Brian didn’t think it looked like Justin was hurting, but he knew how to hide pain and he figured Justin probably did too and hated thinking he was causing him pain when he could, hopefully, stop it.

“What?” Justin asked, goosebumps breaking out on his skin from Brian’s stare.

Out of the corner of his eye, Brian saw Michael smiling at him, giving him a look that could only be interpreted as, ‘go for it’. He remembered Michael’s words, his friend telling him that he was worth it, that Justin was worth it and he knew that Michael was right, so what the fuck was he waiting for. “I’ve got work early,” Brian told him, grabbing his hand. “Do you want to share a cab with me?”

“What?” Justin asked confused. “Now?”

“Yeah, now.”

“Uh…well… I…I have work early too,” he admitted. Justin wasn’t sure what Brian wanted to gain by sharing a cab with him, but he was sure it wasn’t just having someone accompanying him halfway home. “Let me say goodbye to Daph and Trent.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s water bottle and finished it, desperately needing the substance for his dry mouth. “Okay, I’ll be out front waiting.”
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Justin had come outside right as Brian managed to hail a cab down. As soon as they both got in the back, there were no words spoken other than telling the driver their destinations. They sat close, just a hair away from touching. They occasionally glanced at one another, but would look away when the intense longing they felt became too much.

Brian let out a relieved breath when they reached the hotel. “I’ve got it,” Brian told Justin when he tried to pay.

“Oh, um…okay, thanks,” Justin said, sliding out of the car. He was somewhat disappointed that Brian hadn’t said a word to him, but then again, he knew he could’ve been the one to start the conversation and hadn’t because he’d been afraid of where it would lead.

“Keep the timer running,” Brian told the driver, handing him a one-hundred dollar bill.

Justin turned back in surprise as Brian closed the cab door behind him. “You don’t have to walk me up, it’s not like this was a date.”

Brian shook that statement off. “I’m going to anyway.”

“Oh, okay…” Justin said nervously. He almost tried to stop Brian again once they got to the elevators but when he saw the look of determination on Brian’s face he thought better of it and pressed the button.

The elevator seemed to take forever as Brian stood as far away from Justin as he could, collecting his thoughts and his courage to do something that seemed so fucking trivial for everyone else. And that was the problem, Justin wasn’t just anyone.

An agonizing thirty seconds later, the doors opened to Justin’s floor and he slowly walked to his door, perfectly aware of Brian’s eyes on him the entire time they walked. His hand shook with nerves as he slid his keycard in and opened the door. “You coming in?” he asked, holding it open for Brian.

Brian said nothing, just crossed the threshold and closed the door behind him.

“Do you want a drink or something? The bar is stocked, but I think Daphne and Trent probably drank some of the vodka before we left.”

“No, I don’t need anything to drink,” Brian said. Though his mouth had gone dry from staring at Justin in the elevator, he knew that there was only one thing that could quench his thirst.

“Well… uh… how is work going? Michael said you were gone for…”

Brian grabbed Justin into his arms, slamming his lips against Justin’s, effectively cutting off his rambling. His knees weakened when Justin moaned, opening his mouth, his tongue touching his as he slipped it inside. He fell back against the door, shoving his hands into Justin’s hair, guiding his head, tilting it to the side, as he swabbed the recesses of his mouth with his tongue.

He felt Justin humping against his leg, felt the straining erection rubbing against his thigh through his jeans while Justin whimpered and moaned, kissing Brian expertly. Brian’s cock was demanding attention like it never had before but he knew he couldn’t deviate from his plan. He moved his hands between their bodies and slowly pushed Justin away from him. “Fuck,” he gasped, taking in deep breaths.

Justin stood against the wall, his fingers touching his swollen, tingling lips, his blurry eyes wide with amazement, dark with lust.

Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and pulled him over to the sofa. “Sit,” he whispered, before sitting on the other end, afraid to be too close to him. Never had one kiss affected him so much. It was unbelievable how Justin kissed him, it felt like he’d coaxed an orgasm out of his mouth. He never would’ve imagined that that mindfuck of a kiss was the very first for Justin. “The whole fucking cab ride I wanted to…” Shit. He realized as he began to talk that his entire body was shaking the way it did after he had a really intense orgasm, yet his dick was still uncomfortably hard, leaking into his underwear, trapped in his blue jeans.

“What?” Justin asked in a whisper so husky it was unrecognizable to him. One kiss, just one kiss did this? Surely not everyone felt this way when they kissed or the world wouldn’t be able to operate. Justin almost wondered if he’d injected some kind of drug, because he certainly felt drugged and Brian looked as fucked up as he did. His eyes were glassy, his face was pink, his lips dark red. He looked…ravaged, which is what Justin felt like Brian had done to him. And really, that was just proof that it was their kiss, because neither one of them had been fucked up before that.

“I didn’t want it to….in the back seat,” Brian said, realizing that his brain wasn’t cooperating and he was probably making no sense at all.

“Huh?” Justin asked, also on the brink of incoherency. “It?”

Brian gave up on distancing himself from Justin and slid closer to him, placing one hand on his neck and staring into the dark blue eyes. It was insane how Justin’s touch made him come undone but it also calmed him. He found his thoughts easily and spoke them. “Your first kiss,” he explained, watching Justin’s eyes dilate in surprise. “I wanted it to be perfect and for us to be… alone.”

Justin didn’t know that it was possible to swoon unless you were some nineteen fifties schoolgirl, but he was sure that’s what was happening as Brian leaned in to kiss him again and his vision blackened.
 

~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know… it might be an allergic reaction but I don’t know where he keeps his pen!” Brian screamed at the 911 operator. “Just fucking get here already!”

“Brian?” Justin opened his eyes and looked around, feeling giddy and peaceful all at once.

“Justin!” Brian almost dropped his cell phone as he crouched down beside the sofa. “Are you all right? Are you having a reaction?”

Justin sat up. “What?”

“Yes, he’s awake,” Brian spoke to the woman on the phone.

“Who are you talking to?” Justin asked.

“I called 911, you fucking passed out!” Brian explained, surveying Justin for signs of stress.

“Oh my god!” Justin gasped. “Tell them not to come. I just… I fainted.”

“Yeah, I know. You might be allergic to my saliva,” Brian said in a desperately sad voice.

“No,” Justin said, trying not to laugh. He grabbed the phone from Brian and put it to his ear. “Hi, this is Justin and I’m just fine now.”

“Are you sure, sir? Your boyfriend said you have a history of allergic reactions and…”

“I know what an allergic reaction is,” Justin explained to the woman, blushing furiously, “and this wasn’t one.”

“Are you sure sir?” the operator asked. “If you have a history of allergic reactions it might be best if I send an EMT out to look you over.”

“There’s no need,” Justin said adamantly.

“Sir, you have to understand, you lost consciousness, if it wasn’t an allergic reaction it could be something worse. I really don’t want to take a chance with your healthcare.”

Justin asked Brian, “How long was I out?”

“Just a minute,” Brian admitted, sighing in relief, “but I couldn’t wake you up. I tried shaking you and calling your name but you weren’t responding.”

“I’m okay now, really,” Justin said firmly to both Brian and the operator. “I’m sorry he had to call you. I promise I’m all right, I don’t need an EMT to assess me.”

“I’m sorry, Justin, but I think it’d be best if I radio dispatch and have them check you over. It may be serious.”

“It wasn’t serious,” Justin told the operator. “I think I know what it was and it isn’t serious. I’ll be just fine.”

“If you know what it is, sweetie, than you need to tell me so I know for sure you’re going to be all right.”

Justin groaned and felt his body heat from utter embarrassment. “Please,” he said softly, “don’t make me tell you in front of him,” he whispered.

Brian understood that Justin was embarrassed about passing out but to have Justin say that he didn’t want to talk about the reason in front of him made him angry. “Why the hell not?” he asked.

“Oh god,” Justin groaned. “You’re going to laugh,” he said to both Brian and the 911 dispatcher.

“Justin, believe me, in twelve years doing this job there isn’t much that can shock me. Just tell me, sweetie,” the operator said softly.

Brian dropped down to his knees in front of Justin. “This could be serious,” he said, his anger lessening as he saw how nervous Justin was. “I’m not going to laugh at you.”

“I passed out because of the kiss,” Justin admitted, his voice tiny. “I swooned from the overexcitement.”

Brian’s jaw fell open and he stared at Justin in wonder. He couldn’t believe that was possible. People didn’t actually swoon, but from the look on Justin’s face he could tell he was being serious. “You passed out from me kissing you?” Brian asked.

“Yes,” Justin said softly, his eyes on Brian’s still puffy lips. He told the operator, “I’m sorry he had to call, but really, I’ll be fine.”

“That must have been some kiss,” the woman said, unable to keep the awe out of her tone. “Well, your boyfriend did the right thing and if he’s able to make you pass out from one kiss than I’d say he’s a keeper.”

“Yes, I think so,” Justin agreed, placing his hand over Brian’s and giving it a squeeze. “Thank you for the help.” Justin ended the call and handed the phone back to Brian. He gave him a sheepish look and muttered, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sure you’re all right?” Brian asked, getting up to sit beside Justin. Brian had always known he was a great kisser, but to know just how good, filled his chest with pride.

“What?” Justin asked, feeling unnerved by the look on Brian’s face.

“I just can’t believe I made you pass out from a kiss,” Brian said, a little bit of laughter in his voice.

Justin rolled his eyes and pushed playfully at Brian’s shoulder. “Tell your ego to take a hike,” he warned, grinning. Yeah, it was an amazing concept to him too; he couldn’t deny Brian’s power.

Brian smirked. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Justin gave Brian a mock glare. “You’d better not, or it won’t happen again.”

Brian licked his lips. “Yeah, right, like you could stay away now?”

Justin shrugged, realizing it was definitely time to concede. “Yeah, guess not. That is, if you don’t want me to…stay away, I mean.”

“No, I don’t,” Brian admitted, leaning in and kissing the side of Justin’s mouth. The sexual chemistry between them was still there but the scare Justin had given him had taken a nosedive, which was a good thing because Brian had to stick to his plan. He stood up from the sofa and said, “It’s getting late.” He glanced at his watch, realizing that Justin was working the early shift, which meant he’d only get about five hours of sleep. He had an appointment at the same time that Justin’s shift started and as much as he wanted to stick around, Brian knew he’d see Justin soon. “I’ll see you later.”

Justin felt torn between begging Brian to stay and demanding him to tell him when they’d meet again, but he didn’t want to jinx the perfect night they’d shared. It already had enough drama in it. “Okay. Later.”

Brian gave Justin a small smile before walking over to the door. After a small wave, he left the hotel room. The moment he got into the elevator, his knees weakened and he grabbed for the railing while thinking, ‘If that’s what one kiss is like with us, what’s it going to be like to fuck him raw in six months from now?’ It took Brian until he slid into the back seat of the cab, which had waited for him, to realize the true depth of his thought.

“Where to, buddy?” the cab driver asked, giving Brian a smirk in the rearview mirror. He was certain that the flushed look on his passenger’s face was most likely because of the quickie he’d probably gotten from his hot blond companion.

“The corner of Fuller and Tremont,” Brian said, letting out a deep breath, determined not to let his fears get the best of him.
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian walked into the nearly desolate diner looking around for Justin. He knew that he could’ve called him, but Justin didn’t answer his phone while he was working. He didn’t want to leave a voicemail that Justin might not get until he was off work and he wanted to be sure that he had Justin all to himself tonight.

“It’s awfully early for you to be in here on a Saturday,” Debbie spoke, popping up from behind the counter and startling Brian.

Brian took a seat on one of the many unoccupied stools. It was ten o’clock and the diner was always slow on Saturdays. “I had an early appointment,” he told her.

Debbie took out her order pad and asked, “Coffee and toast?”

Brian shook his head, glancing around the almost empty diner. “Is Justin on break?”

Debbie clucked her tongue. “So you didn’t come for brunch?”

Brian grimaced and said, “Spare me the lecture about how I’m corrupting him. Where is he?”

“Frank scheduled too many waiters today so I called and told him not to come in. He didn’t seem to mind, sounded like he had a late night by the groggy sound of his voice. Know anything about that?”

“Jesus,” Brian bitched, “what, did Mikey show up here at the crack of dawn and tell you Justin and I left Babylon together last night?”

Debbie smacked her gum and laughed. “No, you just did.” She put her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. “Don’t mess around with him, Brian. I know you two have chemistry, everyone can see it, but he’s not like you. He’s worth more than just a roll in the hay, ya’ got me?”

Brian slid off his seat and backed away from the counter. “I don’t need you to tell me that, Deb,” he said, leaving her speechless and bolting out the door.
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian gave the room service attendant a fifty-dollar bill as the man opened Justin’s hotel room door. “Enjoy, Mr. Kinney,” he said, leaving Brian to push the cart into the room. Brian kicked the door closed behind him

A few minutes ago, he’d called Justin and woke him up, telling him that he needed to get up, get showered and meet him downstairs in a half hour. Justin had no idea that Brian was in the hotel and had already ordered breakfast. Brian didn’t get off the phone until he was sure Justin was in the shower, which is where he still was. Brian had to work quickly if he was going to have everything prepared for Justin’s surprise. He quickly placed their plates, silverware, napkins and glasses of juice on the small table in the living area. Then he retrieved the DVD he’d brought with him and put it into the player, turning on the TV and letting the screensaver for the DVD play.

He observed the table he’d set and placed an envelope in front of Justin’s plate. Walking over to the bathroom door he opened it, stuck his head into the steamy room, and called out, “Justin! Let’s go!”

Justin screeched when he heard Brian’s voice. He opened the shower curtain and saw Brian’s face laughing at him. “You scared the shit out of me! How did you get in here?”

“I have my ways,” Brian said ominously. “Hurry up in there.”

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Justin shut the curtain and looked down at his erect dick. He’d been in the middle of jerking off when Brian appeared in the doorway. “You’ll have to wait until later,” Justin spoke to his cock, grabbing for the shampoo. He washed his hair as fast as possible, excited to see Brian. The man hadn’t told him where they were going but Justin trusted that wherever it was, it’d be a good surprise.

Brian was pacing in front of the table. He kept his thoughts far away from Justin’s naked, wet body only feet away and concentrated on his pitch. When the water shut off, he sat down in his chair at the table, angling himself toward the bathroom door. A few minutes later, Justin opened the door, clad in a white terry-cloth robe, his hair wet and sticking up in complete disarray, his face pink from the hot water. Brian’s mouth watered and his brain went to mush.

“We’re having breakfast here?” Justin asked, seeing the array of food on the table.

Brian snapped out of his lustful yearnings and replied, “We are. So… go get dressed.”

Justin walked further into the room. “I don’t need to get dressed if we’re eating here,” he said. “God, that looks good. I’m…”

“You do!” Brian said, standing from his chair. He placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders and took a deep breath, smelling Justin’s aftershave and lemon shampoo. “I won’t be able to eat this,” he said, motioning to the food, “when you look like this.”

Justin gave Brian a slow smile and leered at him. “Really?”

Brian backed away from Justin and sat back down, refusing to look at him. “Hurry up.”

Justin dashed into the bedroom, practically skipping along the way, his heart hammering in his chest. He didn’t give a shit what he was going to wear and chose the first things he found in the closet, a pair of dark blue jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. Walking back into the living room he noticed for the first time what was playing on the screen, the memories of the day at the movies surfaced, and he looked at Brian curiously, “Don Juan De Marco?”

“We need to finish it,” Brian said, his words husky. “After breakfast?”

Justin nodded and sat down across from Brian and noticed the other man wiping the sweat from his brow. “Are you all right?”

“Peachy,” Brian answered, hating how nervous he was. He gulped his glass of orange juice, wishing he’d thought ahead and poured vodka into it.

Justin reached for his napkin and noticed the envelope sitting in front of his plate. “What’s this?”

“Open it and see.”

Justin picked it up, saw the envelope had the Exhibitions logo emblazoned on the front of it, and asked, “This isn’t a check for me consulting for fifteen minutes on that Jewelry ad, is it? Cause I think the perks I get at the hotel more than cover what I did for Exhibition.”

Brian had forgotten about that. The suggestion of a font change gave the ad a completely new look, one that sold the clients and consequently drew him a substantial profit. He made a mental note to remember to have Ted cut Justin a check for that. “It’s not business,” Brian replied, wondering why he’d put the damn thing in an envelope in the first place.

Justin tore the envelope open, took out the sheet of paper inside and began to read it. He went over it three times to be certain of what he was reading. He was glad to know that Brian was clean but he didn’t understand why he was showing him the test results. “What exactly is this for?”

“Proof.”

“Proof? What do I need proof of your tests for?”

“Eat your eggs before they get cold,” Brian said, taking a bite for himself. If he and Justin were both occupied with eating he felt like he could get through this a lot easier. It would be like a business meeting, not some heart-to-heart. “I don’t want you to worry, when you’re with me,” Brian explained.

Justin put his fork down and sighed. “Brian, just because you’re clean that doesn’t mean we’re going to start fucking.”

“Keep eating,” Brian said, sitting up straighter. “I know we’re not going to fuck.”

Justin almost whimpered and asked, ‘ever?’, but kept that to himself. “Right.”

“I haven’t had sex with anyone for almost two weeks.”

Justin swallowed around his eggs and gave Brian a surprised look. “Seriously?”

“Yes, I was testing myself to see if I could do it.”

“Uhuh.” Justin wasn’t sure how to respond and didn’t want to start guessing as to what Brian was trying to say. “Just tell me what’s on your mind,” he encouraged, “you’re confusing me.”

“You want a boyfriend who is monogamous, right?” Brian asked.

“Yes.”

Brian concentrated on cutting up his omelet, unable to look at Justin as he said, “You have one.”

“What?” Justin gasped.

Brian glanced at Justin. “Six months. Six months from the time I took that test will be January twentieth.”

“Okay,” Justin said, still not understanding. “What is six months from now?”

“We do this thing,” Brian elaborated, “hang out, be boyfriends, date, whatever you want to call it. For six months and then… depending on what we want we either can call it quits or…”

“Or...?” Justin prompted and reached for his glass of juice. He gulped it, washing down the egg that seemed to be stuck in his throat.

Brian reached across the table, took the glass out of Justin’s hand, and placed it on the table. He held Justin’s hand and said, “I want you and I like you, more than… more than I thought I could like someone. I know you want to fall in love and get married and I don’t know if I want that with anyone but…”

Justin felt Brian’s hand shaking and moved his own so he could place his on top and squeeze Brian’s hand. “But what?” he whispered.

“But… if I’m going to do that...”

Justin blinked rapidly and almost made a move to pinch himself, wondering if he was truly awake. He didn’t know what to say to Brian.

“In six months from now, if things aren’t working out then we break up, hopefully remain friends or whatever. Or maybe, maybe we’ll be where I know you hope we’ll be. We’ll get tested together and then if everything is okay, we can… have sex… raw.”

Justin was sure that this was all too good to be true. “You’re going to be monogamous for six months?”

“Yes,” Brian said, his voice firm.

“But we can’t have sex during that time,” Justin explained.

“We can’t fuck but we can do other things.”

“Brian,” Justin softly spoke, “I want to believe that you can do it, but…”

“You trust me to order you breakfast, not even asking if anything I brought you has the shit you’re allergic to in it. You started eating it without a thought. If you can trust me with your health, then you need to trust me with…” Brian paused, sucking in a deep breath as he realized he’d backed himself into a corner. No matter what the fuck he said to finish that sentence he’d come off sounding as if he was reciting some cheesy love ballad.

“My heart?” Justin filled in and started to giggle when the ‘caught’ look on Brian’s face told him he’d hit the mark. “Oh, Brian, that sounds like some corny love song.”

Brian popped a piece of bacon into his mouth and sat back in his chair, laughing with Justin. It was good to know that despite Justin’s propensity to want certain things from Brian that he’d never thought he’d be able to give him; Justin was also as averse to over the top romantic sentiments as himself. Doing away with all the bullshit and getting right to the point he looked into Justin’s eyes and said, “I trust you.”

Justin saw the vulnerability in Brian’s eyes and he knew how much courage it must have taken him to say that. To propose a monogamous relationship with him was something Justin never expected. He knew he’d been hoping for it, but it seemed so implausible that now that Brian was promising this to him, he could barely believe it to be true. One thing he knew about Brian Kinney was that he wouldn’t suggest it if he didn’t have every intention of going through with it, so there was only one thing to say, “I trust you, too.” Justin began to bite his lower lip and his eyes darkened as he struggled to say what needed to be explained to Brian.

“But?” Brian asked.

“I told you, I’m not going to have sex until I get married. If that’s in six months from now or a year… that’s what it is. I know you don’t understand why I’d want that too, but…”

“If you trust me now why wouldn’t you trust me then, if we were both clean and monogamous?”

“Because I’m not going to have sex with someone that isn’t in love with me! I thought you understood this!”

“You don’t make any sense,” Brian gritted out between clenched teeth. He’d turned himself inside out coming to grips with the fact that if he wanted Justin and didn’t want to let him go. That meant that he’d have to dispose of many of his rules and rethink his views on relationships, but now Justin wanted even more from him. “You need to compromise. Think of all that I’m compromising for you!”

“What are you saying?” Justin asked angrily. He stood from the table so fast the chair he’d sat in went flying backward. “I suppose you want me to be grateful to you for finally realizing that you could get something more out of life than a couple memorable orgasms and thousands of forgettable fucks? Well, I’m not. I gave you a reason to grow the fuck up and take a chance at having a real life.”

Not one to be outdone on dramatics, Brian stood up quickly too, annoyed when his chair hit the armoire behind him before lurching forward and pounding the backs of his knees. Spurred on by the shot of painful adrenaline he asked, “So you think I need to be saved or something? Sorry to disappoint you but I do just fine on my own. I don’t need anyone telling me the correct way to live my life or what I should or shouldn’t believe in. You don’t know the universal cure to happiness so don’t pretend that you do!”

“I’m not trying to save you, Brian, and I don’t know what’s best for you but I know what is best for me. I know that together both our lives are better, whether you’ll ever admit to that or not. But just like you, I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do or what to believe. I’m not going to compromise my beliefs and needs for you or anyone. And I won’t feel bad about asking you to understand them. It’s true, you’ve compromised a lot, but, Brian, those rules you had were a prison you built around yourself to protect you from getting hurt, and if what you said was true before, then there’s no need to have me scale any walls to get to you because you trust me enough to let me in.” Justin had lost much of the anger he felt as his rant had turned to a passionate plea of understanding. “Brian, what you’re compromising isn’t just for me. It should be for you too, and I think you know that. I wouldn’t want this with you if you can’t admit that, at least to yourself. I don’t want to be someone chaining you up and leading you into a relationship you don’t really want.”

“That’s what marriage is!” Brian exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the table. “It’s chains and empty promises people tell one another to make themselves feel better about being locked up because otherwise they’d be in solitary. That’s a fate worse than death.”

“Can we stop with the prison metaphors?” Justin asked.

“You started it,” Brian quipped, smirking a little bit, “and yes, let’s end those before you tell me that the lifestyle I’ve been accustomed to has me already on death row.”

Justin almost laughed, but didn’t because he realized that perhaps Brian knew how true his words were and that spoke volumes to him. “To me, marriage is freedom. It’s the knowledge that no matter what happens, for better or worse, in good times and in bad, I’ll have the man I love beside me.”

Brian wasn’t sure how this conversation had gotten so out of control. He didn’t expect to be debating marriage with Justin. “It seems to me that we’ve reached an impasse,” he stated ominously.

“No, Brian. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing right now. We can’t know what we’ll want six months from now. I bet you wouldn’t have thought you’d ever suggest monogamy six months ago.”

“Definitely not,” Brian admitted.

“So, we should just take this a day at a time and see what happens.”

Brian took a few moments to mull over what Justin told him before nodding. “All right. I can accept that.”

Justin’s eyes twinkled as he replied, “Good, I’m glad we could come to an agreement about something.”

Brian grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. “The movie can wait until later. Now, I’m not into giving presents but I figured what the hell.” He grabbed the gift bag he’d brought with him and had hidden under the throw pillow on the sofa. “Here.”

Justin took the black bag and pulled out the item inside. “500 Ways to Make Love Without Penetration,” Justin read the title of the heavy book. He had no idea such a book existed and with so many different ways, he didn’t know it was possible.

“They’d sell more copies if they’d just title it ‘500 Ways to Fuck Without Actually Fucking’,” Brian snarked.

Justin laughed. “Would you like me to put a post-it over it and make it say ‘fucking’ so as not to fuck with your delicate sensibilities?” He was relieved to know that coming out of such a heated discussion he and Brian were both able to let it rest and move on without any awkward pause.

Brian ignored that and grabbed the book, flipping to the page where he’d folded a corner over. “I thought we could start with this?”

Justin read the page title and gulped. “Something tells me you’d be a better teacher than this book.”

Brian threw the book onto the couch and grabbed Justin, his hands massaging Justin’s ass as he rubbed their groins together. “Do you think we can get through that whole book in six months?”

Justin slid his hands from Brian’s back around to his waist, his fingers shaking as he grasped his belt. “I think we should try.” He wanted to do everything, but after passing out from a kiss, he wondered how he’d be able to handle it. Of course, people had sex all the time and didn’t pass out, so that was encouraging, but this was his first time for everything. He’d never even been naked in the same room with another man before. His mouth watered as he slid his hand under Brian’s shirt and got a peak at the golden skin above Brian’s waist.

Brian tilted Justin’s chin up and held his eyes. “Are you sure?” he asked, growing serious for a moment. He would be doing much more than just the page he’d bookmarked and wanted to be sure that Justin was ready for it, because he wasn’t going to stop until they were as fucked out as they could possibly get without actually fucking.

“Yes, will you…will you teach me?” His whole body was shaking with equal parts need and embarrassment.

In answer, Brian gave Justin a kiss that rivaled the one they’d shared last night. Thankfully, this time, Justin didn’t pass out. Instead, when Brian tried to end the kiss, Justin gripped Brian’s hair, pulling their faces together and dominating the kiss. He sucked and nipped on Brian’s lips all the way into the bedroom.
 

Return to Credence