Credence
Chapter Two: “Designation”
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical
substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. - Carl Jung
*****
April
Brian hadn’t been avoiding the diner. He’d just had lunches with clients
scheduled for the last couple of weeks. His assistant, Jeffrey, was a
connoisseur of fine restaurants in Pittsburgh and provided Brian with dozens of
options to eat lunch. Jeffrey gave him so many options in fact, that, unless
Brian was eating dinner at Deb’s on Sunday nights, he had dinner at the
recommended restaurants.
You could say he had a new hobby, one that actually didn’t include sex. He even
broke a few rules, eating carbs after seven o’clock when he had to stay later at
Exhibition. No, Brian didn’t fuck the hosts, waiters or chefs; he’d fucked a
waiter once at his favorite Italian restaurant and didn’t go back for a year,
fearful that the scorned trick would spit in his food. He’d learned his lesson
then and held back his libido until he went home, changed, and went to Babylon
to pick up his dessert.
It had been weeks since he’d seen Justin Taylor, and if Brian said that he
hadn’t thought about him, he’d be lying. But it wasn’t like he could help it.
His friends talked about him as if he was a new toy. In addition to their
talking, he’d also had a few dreams about him - hot, sexy, erotic dreams that
were too romantic but had him coming in his sleep anyway. Brian wasn’t about to
go chasing after blond boy ass. He was confident that the time would come that
Justin would come to him.
Only, Brian hadn’t thought that time would be when he was just sitting down at
‘his’ table at Le Mont. Jeffrey hadn’t been the one to point him toward
the French restaurant; he’d been dining there since Marty Ryder had brought him
and a client there years ago.
“Hi.” Justin didn’t know why he’d felt compelled to say hello to Brian. It was
obvious the man didn’t see him as anything more than a potential trick. However,
ignoring Brian didn’t go along with what he really wanted from him.
“Hi.” Brian raised his eyebrows and glanced over to the chair Justin had
vacated. “Meeting someone?”
“Uh… yeah. My mom, her new husband, and my sister. I saw you come in and thought
I’d say hi.” He was also bored and they were ten minutes late, but he didn’t
tell Brian that. “What about you?”
Brian had never imagined that Justin would look so hot dressed up. He wore a
navy blue cardigan, a deep purple, collared shirt underneath with a pair of
form-fitting black slacks that hugged his ass and groin. Shifting his eyes back
to Justin’s face he replied, “I have dinner here every Friday night.”
“Is Michael joining you?” Justin asked. He couldn’t exactly imagine Michael
eating at such a swanky restaurant though. He loved French cuisine himself, but
the only reason he was there was because his mother was on a trip for French
food since returning from Paris.
“No, I’m eating alone.” Brian was going to slap Justin if he’d seen pity cross
his face. There was nothing wrong with enjoying a delicious meal alone. Instead,
his blue eyes lit up and he smiled at him.
“Well, you should come join us. My mom won’t care and I’m sure she’d love to
meet you. Debbie and everyone else have talked about you.”
Brian wondered if ‘everyone else’ included Justin. “So, she’s met the gang and
isn’t afraid of her little boy being taken in by the wrong crowd?”
Justin laughed softly and put one hand on his hip. “Oh, please. My mom loves
Debbie and she loves ‘the gang’ too. She isn’t as uptight as she used to be. Not
since she married Tucker.”
“Why’s that?” Brian asked. He had a vision of Justin’s mother being like June
Cleaver. Not that he’d ever met the woman, but he would bet that his imagination
was accurate.
Justin gestured to the front of the restaurant where his mother, Tucker, and
Molly were checking their coats. “That’s them.”
Jennifer was as beautiful as Brian pictured, his sister looked like a younger
version of Justin with long hair, and the new hubby, Tucker… “He’s awfully
young,” Brian said quietly.
Justin scrunched his face up. “Yeah, my mother is a cougar.” He pointed to the
round table he’d come from. “So are you coming?”
Brian wasn’t sure, but he could’ve sworn he caught a twinkle in Justin’s eye as
he asked him that question. He figured it wouldn’t be so bad, it might even be
entertaining to eat with Justin and his family. It would also score Brian some
major points toward fucking the blond. “Yeah, sure.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Justin had forgotten about his cruel intentions five minutes into dinner. Brian
was charming and he loved how his mother reacted to him. Tucker was silently
jealous and brooding about it, but could say or do nothing. It was great! Justin
couldn’t deny that Brian was the most gorgeous man he’d probably ever laid eyes
on, and he couldn’t stop himself from amping up the sexual energy between them
by touching Brian whenever the chance presented itself, but it had nothing to do
with the original reason he’d asked Brian to join them for dinner. In fact, when
Justin thought about those reasons for a split-second before Brian complimented
his mother on her choice of wine and saw her face flush, he decided that he
would permanently lock those other thoughts away. Brian and he had gotten off to
a rough start, but Justin could see why Brian had the good, loyal friends he
had.
“You’re nothing like Debbie described,” Jennifer commented to Brian. “Nor your
friends.”
Brian laughed it off. “I bet.”
“Actually, that came out wrong,” Jennifer said as an apology. “They, of course,
told me to keep Justin far away from you.”
“What?” Justin hissed. “That isn’t any of their business.”
“As my friends, they consider everything in my life their business,” Brian
explained.
Justin pouted. He didn’t appreciate anyone telling him whom he could or could
not date. Not that he and Brian were going to ever date.
“They had good things to say,” Jennifer assured. “They just didn’t tell me how
well rounded you were. You remind me a lot of Justin.”
Brian could tell from the way Jennifer was looking at her son as she spoke, that
her words were a great compliment to him. He didn’t necessarily agree with them
but he accepted them nonetheless. “Thank you, Jennifer.”
“She means that you’re both gay,” Molly snickered quietly.
“I don’t think so, Molly,” Tucker spoke up. “I think she means that, like your
brother, Brian is….”
Brian wondered what Tucker was going to say but figured it was probably better
that he didn’t finish his sentence.
“Can we not talk about me like I’m not here?” Justin interrupted.
Brian patted Justin’s leg. “Calm down.”
Tucker shrugged it off. “Jen, have you decided if you want to order Bananas
Foster for dessert? It says we have to place the order with our dinner order.”
“That sounds delicious,” Jennifer said with a long sigh. “Will you share it with
me?”
“As in feed it to you?” Tucker teased, kissing Jennifer’s mouth sensually.
“Ewww…. Gross!” Molly and Justin said in unison.
“I’m sure your mother doesn’t say that when she watches you kiss someone,” Brian
teased Justin.
“Justin’s never kissed a boy in front of me,” Jennifer revealed.
“Or me,” Molly added.
Justin pushed the hair out of his eyes and sat back in the chair. “I probably
never will.”
“Now, there’s no need to deny your mom and sister the pleasure of seeing you
with your tongue down another man’s throat,” Brian teased.
“All right, stop talking about my sex life please,” Justin begged.
“Like you even have one,” Molly replied.
“Molly,” Jennifer said in a hushed tone. “Be quiet.”
“Well it’s true, isn’t it?” she asked.
“What’s true?” Brian questioned. He was admittedly lost.
Molly looked at her brother and said firmly, “Tell him, Justin.”
“Tell me what?” Brian implored, curious. A second later, he realized that Molly
was trying to call her brother out as a virgin. Well, Brian wouldn’t go that
far, perhaps Justin appeared a little prudish, but he wasn’t a virgin.
“Nothing,” Justin griped. “Molly likes to think she knows everything about me
but she doesn’t really know anything.”
“I know more than you’d like me to know,” she teased.
Jennifer shook her head and gave Molly a look of warning. “That is not
appropriate dinner conversation.”
At that moment, a waitress appeared at their table. Justin smiled brightly at
the woman and thought, I’m saved!
~~~~~~~~~~
Brian had never gone to so much trouble to fuck a trick before. Not that the
dinner with Justin’s family had been horrible; it had actually been better than
eating alone. Molly was hilarious and a constant torment to Justin, throwing out
insults and innuendos about her brother that embarrassed him to the point where
his entire face would become flushed. Brian got hard every time that Justin
would whine to his mother, begging her to make Molly shut up while unable to
stop his quiet giggles. Brian attributed his erection to Justin’s pale skin
reddening and the thoughts that it conjured, like, if his skin did the same
thing when he came. But deep inside, Brian knew he had a kink for Justin’s
nervous giggles.
“You really didn’t have to pay for dinner, Brian,” Jennifer spoke once they
entered the elevator. “But thank you for doing so, it was a nice treat.”
“Anytime,” Brian replied.
Tucker shook Brian’s hand and said, “Next time it’ll be on me.”
Brian almost asked why the man would think there would be a next time but held
his tongue and just nodded in acceptance. After he got Justin Taylor out of his
system tonight, there wouldn’t be any reason to eat a family dinner with him
again.
The elevator stopped and the group filed out into the restaurant lobby.
“Justin, do you want us to give you a ride home?” Tucker asked as they walked
outside.
“I can take you where you need to go,” Brian offered.
“No thanks,” Justin said, zipping his jacket. “It’s a nice night and I think I’m
going to walk through the park, maybe get some inspiration for my class.”
“I don’t like you walking around in the park this late all alone,” Jennifer
chided. “It’s dangerous.”
Molly snorted. “Mom, it’s only nine, that’s not late.”
Brian’s reservation had been for six-thirty; he could hardly believe they’d been
at the restaurant so long. Usually, Brian would be on his way to Woody’s, or at
the baths, satisfied by at least one mouth or ass with another lined up. Brian
always succeeded in reaching his goals and getting Justin to warm up to him
helped him in his venture. “I’ll walk with him,” he offered.
Justin looked between his mother and Brian. “I don’t need a chaperone. I’ve
walked through the park a thousand times much later than this.”
“All right, honey,” Jennifer, agreed, laughter in her voice. She gave Justin a
kiss. “Call me tomorrow so I know you’re not dead.”
“I will.” Justin replied squeezing her back. He then gave Molly a hug. “Bye,
Mol.”
“Bye, Jus.”
Tucker stood back, feeling awkward at the exchange. “See you soon, Justin.”
Justin waved them all off as they walked toward the parking garage before
turning toward Brian and asked, “What about you?”
Brian chuckled. “What about me?”
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
In your ass? Brian thought deviously. He straightened the collar on his
jacket and nodded across the street. “I’m going to walk off that Bananas Foster.
What about you?”
Justin sighed with great reluctance. “I’m telling you right now that I only walk
through parks with men while they hold my hand.”
Brian laughed. “That’s ridiculous!”
Justin saw the traffic on the street was minimal and quickly crossed, calling
over his shoulder, “Suit yourself!”
If only Mikey could see me now, Brian thought, running after Justin and
nearly being hit by a car in the process.
Justin waited at the entrance to the park, tapping his foot on the cobblestone
pathway. As Brian got closer to him, he held out his hand. Honestly, Justin
hadn’t ever walked through a park holding anyone’s hand but his mother’s when he
was a child, he just wanted to fuck with Brian. It would be interesting to see
how far Brian would go to get in his pants, especially because the result would
be the same in the end. He had no doubt about that.
Brian couldn’t believe he actually did it. He grasped Justin’s hand, which was
much softer than he imagined it being. “So you’re all healed?” he asked, not
wanting to dwell on the completely out of character action he’d just caved in
on.
“Aww… you do care,” Justin said in a dramatic tone.
Brian wondered how long they’d have to walk in the park before Justin would give
in to the obvious sexual chemistry between them and start begging Brian to fuck
him. “Mikey can be an ass.”
“It was true though. You hated that you had to go with me to the hospital, you
hated staying there, and you were only asking if I was okay so you’d know if it
was safe to fuck me.”
“You’re wrong about the last one and so was Michael.” Brian wasn’t going to
sugar coat it. “You could’ve died right in front of me, so yeah I actually did
c…c….”
“Care about me?” Justin supplied, looking sideways at Brian. He laughed as Brian
scrunched up his face in distaste. “It is okay to actually give a shit about
another human being’s wellfare, you know.”
“I do want to fuck you,” Brian said pointedly, “and I know you want me to fuck
you.”
Justin stopped walking and dropped Brian’s hand. “Didn’t you hear me in the
diner the other day? That’s not going to happen. So… maybe you should just…”
Brian pulled Justin against his body and rocked against him while whispering in
his ear, “Maybe you should just give in now.”
Justin pushed the man away from him and shook his head, his face a mask of
disappointment. “Just because I want you, doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on
what I really want in life just for a roll in the hay.”
Brian pretended to be interested and asked, “And what is it that Justin Taylor
wants in life?”
Justin really wished Brian wasn’t so fucking sexy when he was being an asshole;
it would make things so much easier on them both. “If you actually wanted to
know I’d tell you. But you don’t.”
“Humor me then,” Brian said, taking Justin’s hand in his own and pulling him
along the path by the river.
“We’re not much different, Brian. My mom was right about that.”
“We’re both hot?” Brian supplied dryly.
Justin ignored that. “We both have rules and we stick to them.”
“You’ve been talking to Mikey.”
“I have,” Justin admitted. “You don’t do boyfriends, you don’t believe in love,
you don’t go on dates, and you don’t believe that sex can mean anything more
than just sex.”
“And your rules?” Brian prompted, already guessing as to what Justin’s answer
would be.
“I’m not going to tell you; you’d just make fun of me.”
Brian shrugged in acceptance, he probably would. “I’m going to fuck you.”
Justin laughed, slid his hand from Brian’s and sat down on one of the benches by
the water. “I don’t have random sex.”
Brian looked down at Justin and tried his best to figure the younger man out. He
wondered idly what it would take to get in Justin’s ass. Would it be so bad
doing whatever was required? “How many dates does a guy have to take you on to
get in your pants then?” he boldly asked. His tone changed to a mocking sneer,
“Are those your rules? One date and he gets to suck your cock, two dates and you
suck his? Three dates and you’ll let him eat your ass? Four dates and he gets
inside?”
Justin abruptly stood, feeling a bit shaken at the questions. “Bye, Brian.
Don’t… don’t fucking follow me, okay?”
~~~~~~~~~~
Brian pretended to be interested in the pamphlet Lindsay handed him and acted
like he was interested in what was inside as he flipped through it.
“He’s really talented. Sydney wants to hire him on as soon as he graduates.”
“What?” Brian was confused. “Who?”
“Justin,” Lindsay explained, about to throw the cup of hot coffee she had in her
hand at Brian. “He’s an artist.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Brian, remarked. He looked at the front of the yellow paper
and read ‘Emerging Artists Show’ and it clicked. “Justin is in this
show.”
Lindsay wanted to throttle him. “Have you been listening to me at all?”
“Yeah,” Brian lied as he stood from the sofa and tucked the pamphlet into his
back pocket. There was no way he was going to tell her that as soon as she
started talking about art he started thinking about Justin, correction: Justin’s
ass. His hard cock needed attention immediately. “Gotta go.”
“Gus had fun with you,” Lindsay said, giving Brian a kiss. “You can do the same
thing every Saturday if you want.”
“Maybe I’ll take him for lunch next time.” He hoped he’d be able to sleep in
next week and not be awake at dawn.
Lindsay nodded. “He liked you surprising him.”
Brian hadn’t ever seen Gus so happy to see him. “Then don’t tell him about lunch
next week, we’ll make it another surprise.”
“He usually wakes up from his nap around one.”
“Okay.” Brian turned to go but Lindsay grabbed his arm and stopped him. “What?”
“You’re not going to forget are you?”
“You sound like Mel,” Brian bitched, slipping from her grasp. “I always come
when I say I will.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Brian went to The Gravel Pit after leaving Lindsay’s house. He needed to
scratch the itch under his skin and did so after thoroughly fucking a tall,
beefy, ginger; followed by a brunet twink who promised to be a power-bottom -
good for Brian, he hadn’t lied. Brian left the bathhouse feeling satisfied but
starving. It was nearly five and he hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast
with Gus.
After going back to the loft to shower and change clothes, he stopped by
China Palace and picked up two huge bags of food, then walked over to Red
Cape Comics. Michael always worked Saturday nights and he knew that even if
The Professor had packed Mikey a dinner, he’d toss it in a second for Chinese
food.
The comic book shop was dark and the closed sign already hung in the window.
Mikey hadn’t pulled the gate down yet so Brian figured he had to be there. He
could hardly see through the posters and comics on the window and door but he
was sure he saw a light on. Brian kicked the bottom of the door hard a few times
before yelling, “Mikey!” It was hard to kick the door while trying to keep the
bags of food in his arms. “Michael, open up! I’m gonna drop this shit out here
and you’ll have rats eating your comic books!”
~~~~~~~~~~
Justin and Michael both jumped at the sudden kicking on the door.
“Fuck, who is that?” Justin asked, a little worried that someone was trying to
break in. A second later, he had his answer. “Doesn’t he own a cell phone?”
Justin grumbled.
Michael rolled his eyes and stood up from the floor. “I’ll go see what he
wants.” He carefully navigated around the sketches surrounding them.
“I guess I could use a break,” Justin admitted, standing up and following
Michael out of the storage room.
“I’m coming!” Michael yelled, the second he entered the shop.
The kicking immediately stopped, but the yelling didn’t. “Hurry up, Mikey!”
“I said I’m coming!” Michael went to the door, unlocked, and opened it. “What
the fuck are you doing?”
Brian thrust one of the bags of food at Michael and walked inside. “I brought
you dinner. Why the fuck did you clo…. Oh.” He hadn’t expected to see Justin.
Just what the fuck were he and Michael doing together?
Michael didn’t want to kick Brian out, but he and Justin were in a creative
bubble and he didn’t want Brian to burst it. “Thanks for dinner but…”
“Jesus, what are you, my stalker?” Brian asked.
Too late, Michael thought. “We’re working, Brian,” he tried to explain.
Justin looked at Brian as if he had two heads. “I’ve only seen you like once in
the past month.” It occurred to him that Brian must not have been able to get
him out of his head, much as he hadn’t been able to get Brian out of his own.
“Yeah, well…”
“Brian brought dinner!” Michael interrupted. The amount of animosity between the
two men was frustrating. He almost wished they’d just fuck and get it over with
already. Almost. If they actually did fuck, he was sure Justin would get hurt.
“I see that,” Justin spoke slowly. “For you two. I doubt there is anything in
that bag I can eat.”
“Good, bye-bye then,” Brian said, waving his hand toward the door.
“Don’t listen to him,” Michael said, walking toward Justin. “He can leave. Or he
can stay if he can actually behave. I’m sure there’s something you can eat that
he’s brought.”
Justin ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Nah, that’s all right.
They probably use peanut oil to cook in and I’m not hungry anyway. I think I’m
just going to go home. I’ve got an early shift at the diner tomorrow.”
“You’re sure?” Michael asked.
Justin nodded. “Yeah. Let me go grab my stuff. Do you want me to take the
sketches or…”
“I’ll clean them up and put them somewhere safe,” Michael said, giving Justin an
apologetic look.
“Kay.” Justin took off into the back to grab his things, silently fuming. He
wasn’t angry with Michael. He just didn’t understand how anyone could be friends
with Brian. The man was an arrogant prick. Just because Justin didn’t want to
fuck him, scratch that, wouldn’t fuck him, he thought that was reason enough to
act like a bastard.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Call me when you have time to get together again,” Michael said.
“I will,” Justin replied. “See ya.”
Michael locked the door and turned to Brian. “What the fuck is the matter with
you?”
Brian dropped the noodles he’d been scooping onto a Styrofoam plate onto the
counter. Michael was well and truly pissed which surprised him because he hadn’t
got the impression that Michael was Justin’s biggest fan. “Is that a rhetorical
question?”
Michael stomped up to the counter and glared up at his best friend. “Are you
jealous?”
Brian snorted. “What do I care if you want to hang out with Justin? You’re my
best friend.”
“I think you care that Justin wants to hang out with me,” Michael stated.
“You’re jealous of me and it pisses you off.”
“What?”
“You want him and you’re pissed off that he doesn’t want you.”
“I can have any guy I…”
“Except him,” Michael interrupted. “And it’s driving you crazy.”
“What’s driving me crazy is this pointless conversation.” Brian shoved a plate
toward Michael. “Get some food before it gets cold.”
“Not until you answer a question. And you have to be honest or I’ll know you’re
lying and then you can just leave.”
Brian batted his eyes and tried to look innocent. “All right.”
“Are you more bothered by the fact that Justin won’t fuck you or are you more
bothered by the fact that you want to fuck him and maybe you like Justin and
don’t want to just fuck him?”
“First,” Brian sighed, “that was like three questions.”
“Then I’ll rephrase,” Michael said, playing along. “Do you want to date Justin?”
“I don’t even know him.”
Michael smiled. “You do!”
“I do not!”
“Yes, yes you do. If you didn’t want to, you would’ve said that you don’t ‘do’
dates, or some bullshit like that. But you didn’t.”
“Fuck you!” Brian threw a noodle at Michael.
Michael began spooning copious amounts of food on his plate. “So did you bring a
joint?”
“Of course.”
Michael snickered to himself. If Brian got stoned then he might actually be able
to talk him into answering more questions about his feelings for Justin. He
hadn’t ever seen Brian turned down before, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t
happened. It probably had but Brian ignored it and moved on to the next. There
had to be something special about Justin if he made Brian Kinney lose his cool.
~~~~~~~~~~
“What are you doing back already?” Daphne asked, clicking off the TV. “I thought
you were putting together comic book ideas with Michael.”
“We were,” Justin answered, toeing off his shoes. “Then Brian came by and
interrupted the flow, so I left.”
“Well I’m glad you’re back, I’ve got something to tell you. Oh, and Anna called
and said the electric is back on in our building so I can get back home and
start researching my paper. You not having internet totally sucks.”
“Yeah it does,” Justin agreed. “But I can’t afford it. I’m lucky Trent lets me
steal his cable. So what did you have to tell me?”
“He came over while you were gone,” Daphne said, grinning sheepishly. “This
whole time he thought I was your girlfriend.”
“No way!” Justin gasped, sitting beside Daphne on the couch. “He’s gay, how
could he not know that I’m gay? When he came over last week and we all watched
that movie I was obscenely drooling over Ashton Kutcher the whole time.”
“He thought you were bisexual and that I had a kink for watching you flirt with
other men. It was the whole me snuggling you thing coupled with the fact that
he’s known you for a month and you haven’t tried to fuck him.”
“God, what is up with everyone assuming that just because they’re hot that I
should want to fuck them?”
“He wasn’t saying it like he thinks he’s god’s gift or anything,” Daphne said
quickly. “It was just an observation. I mean, you can’t deny it, Trent is
gorgeous.”
“That he is,” Justin admitted. “So why did he come over here?”
“He saw me answer the door to the pizza guy and figured you were here. He wanted
to know if you wanted to go out to a club with him and his friends tonight. He
asked me if I would mind my ‘boyfriend’ going out with him and his friends.”
Daphne giggled. “That’s what got us talking about your sexuality and I set him
straight, or not so straight I should say.”
Justin frowned. “It’s nice he invited me, but I hate clubbing.”
“You’ve never even gone, so how do you know?” Daphne asked.
“I just know. Besides, it’s too dangerous. I couldn’t even drink water there
without thinking that someone might put something in my drink that could kill
me.”
Daphne giggled and slapped Justin’s thigh. “Everyone knows that you don’t put
your drink down anywhere and come back to it. Just stick to the rules.”
“Not tonight,” Justin said. “You told him I’d be gone, right?”
“Yeah,” Daphne said sadly. “I wish you’d go out. You’re not ever going to meet
anyone unless you do. By the way, I let him know that you are available.”
“How nice of you,” Justin said warily. “Now when he starts coming over all the
time wanting to get in my pants, I’ll have you to blame.”
“I don’t think he’s like that. I think he just wants to be your friend, which is
a shame.” Daphne stood up from the couch and started to gather her textbooks and
laptop. “I’ve got to go. There’s cheese pizza in the fridge. I made sure I
ordered from Lorenzo’s, so that you could eat it.”
“Thanks, Daphne.” Justin loved that dealing with his allergies was second nature
to Daphne. “I’ll buy next time.”
Daphne kissed Justin’s forehead. “I’ll hold you to it.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“So you’re saying I have to date him to fuck him?”
“Isn’t that pretty much what he told you?” Michael asked.
Brian seemed to consider it. “I don’t think he ever said he wanted to fuck me or
date me. I think.”
Michael laughed softly. “Poor, Brian Kinney.”
Brian sat up and looked at Michael with wide eyes. “Did he tell you that
he wanted to date and fuck me?”
“No.”
“Then maybe I don’t have to date him to fuck him. Maybe I just have to wear him
down.” Brian took a drag from the joint while he thought about how he was going
to do it when every time he was around Justin, he ended up saying something that
made him turn tail and run away from him.
“Brian, to wear him down you’d have to make him weak in the knees for you and
that’s just not going to happen. Not unless you get to know him first.”
“I don’t want to get to know him; I want to get to know his body.”
Michael let out a frustrated grunt. “We’re going in circles about this. You are
going to have to accept that Justin isn’t some twink that’s going to fall to his
knees and beg you to fuck him. If you don’t want to get to know him, which is
why people go on dates, then you are just going to have to move on.”
“I’m not some lovesick schoolboy, Mikey. I don’t need to move on. I like a
challenge is all.”
“You like games,” Michael corrected. “You hate being challenged.”
Brian put out the joint and lit a cigarette. “No, I don’t.”
Michael laughed in triumph. “Yes, you do. That’s what pisses you off about
Justin. He’s challenged you and you don’t even know it.”
“Well, you both can fuck off.”
“I’m not the one that is dying to fuck Justin. That’s you.”
“Do I look like I’m dying?” Brian asked. “I’m fabulous. I’m the most fabulous
fag in…”
“You think Justin is the most fabulous fag in Pittsburgh,” Michael interrupted
in a singsong voice. “That’s why you want him so badly.”
“Fuck talking about this with you, Mikey. You know I say shit I don’t mean when
I’m high and you’re using it against me,” Brian said, standing.
“Correction: you tell the truth.” Michael grabbed Brian’s arm and pulled him
back down beside him. “It wouldn’t hurt to take Justin out on a date.”
“That’s not going to happen.” Brian put his cigarette out and grabbed his
jacket.
“Why not? What would be so bad about it?”
“I’d be leading him on. I’m not like that.”
“Yet fucking him isn’t leading him on?”
“Fucking is just that, fucking. It’s nothing more.”
Michael let his own beliefs about that drop for the time being. “Then you’re not
ever going to have a chance with Justin. He challenges all your rules; it pisses
you off, so you back down.”
“Did you just call me a fucking coward, Mikey?”
Michael shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”
“Why do you even care?” Brian asked, his temper flaring.
“The question is, why do you care?”
“Because there’s got to be something wrong with Justin if he doesn’t want to
fuck me. And I intend to find out what that is.”
“Are you hearing yourself?” Michael asked, feeling hurt. “There’s nothing wrong
with Justin. Just like there isn’t anything wrong with me, Ben or any of the
rest of us human beings who know that making love can mean more to us than what
a thousand fucks combined have meant to you.”
Brian grabbed Michael by the neck and kissed him. “Later, Mikey.”
“Wait, what are you going to do?” Michael asked, following Brian into the front
of the store.
“I’m going to Babylon and do a couple of guys.”
“You know that’s not what I mean. I mean what are you going to do about Justin?”
“I’m not going to do anything about him.”
Michael felt defeated. “All right. See you at dinner tomorrow?”
“Yeah, if I miss another one, your mother has threatened to cut off my remaining
ball.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?”
Brian hadn’t heard the back door close or any footsteps on the steps but
suddenly, Justin was there, standing beside him with his hands on his hips, his
pretty face twisted with anger.
“Uh… what?” Wasn’t he supposed to be nice to Justin?
“In there,” Justin said, pointing his finger toward the house. “You were nice to
me.”
“You’re pissed off because I’m being nice to you?” Brian asked, laughing a
little.
Justin relaxed slightly. “What’s your angle?”
Brian snorted. “I don’t have an angle. I have to be nice to you in front of
Debbie or she’d murder me.”
“Oh.” A sad expression crossed Justin’s face but he hid it quickly with a mask
of indifference. “So should I expect your usual the next time I see you?”
“What’s my usual?”
“Being an asshole.”
Brian grinned. “Be more specific.”
“Well, it’s not asking me my life story over dinner, that’s for sure.”
“Deb’s made you a part of the family. I figured I should get to know you.”
“Every single time someone wasn’t talking to me, you were. Not that I minded too
much, but then I started noticing everyone staring at you.”
“It’s a common occurrence,” Brian deadpanned.
“Then, Deb told me I should come out here and talk to you. That’s when I
realized something….” Justin bit his lip, unsure if he should continue.
“What’s that?” Brian prompted.
“They were shocked that you were so interested in me because you aren’t
interested in anyone for more than a fuck.”
“Well you don’t want to fuck me, so that’s out. You’ve become friends with all
my friends so what do you think I should do? Ignore you?”
Justin dug his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one while he
considered that option. It might actually make things easier for him. He’d
intended on leading Brian on and then… well now he didn’t know what came after
that. “No. I guess we can be friends.”
“I’m glad you approve,” Brian joked. “So how is it that you can smoke cigarettes
when you have a list of allergies that could kill you?”
“I don’t have plant allergies,” Justin told him. “Well I do, but no tobacco or
anything like that. Of course, a new one could pop up anytime….”
“Like with the mustard.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“That’s got to suck.”
“You have no idea.” Justin threw the cigarette onto the lawn. “Are you gonna be
leaving any time soon? I think everyone else is taking off.”
“Yeah, why?”
“Could you give me a ride home? Michael said I don’t live too far from you and
my car is officially broken down. I sold it to a junkyard for fifty bucks.”
Justin could take the bus home but he didn’t want to disappoint Michael with his
ploy to get him and Brian alone together.
The wind picked up and Justin’s scent reached Brian, making him think twice
about the whole friendship thing. Fuck that. If he was going to wear him down,
then he’d have to be around him, wouldn’t he? “Yeah, I can give you a lift.”
Justin smiled. “Thanks. I know someone else would do it but apparently you’re
the closest to me.”
“It’s no problem.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh my god!” Justin squealed in excitement.
Brian looked over at Justin and asked, “Are you trying to get me to cause a
wreck?”
“I’m sorry,” Justin said, his voice still excited. He pointed to the newspaper
in his lap. “They’re doing a Brando film fest next month at the Melwood! They’re
doing his filmography so the movie they’re starting with is…”
“The Men,” Brian filled in. “I know what a filmography is.”
Justin looked in shock at Brian. “You know that movie?”
“Of course I know that movie.” He smiled. “Next to James Dean, Brando is my
favorite actor.”
“Me too!” Justin bounced in his seat. “God, I want to see this but there’s no
way I’ll have off work or have all the money to go.”
Brian grinned. “I happen to know the owner and he’d let you in for free.”
“That’d be so cool but Deb wouldn’t be able to give me every night off, and I
can’t work afternoons because of school.”
“Maybe you can split your shift, work some before school and some after?”
Justin turned to Brian and asked, “If I could swing that would you come with
me?”
Brian pretended to consider the question. “I might have meetings already
scheduled for some of the shows but I’ll see what I can do.”
Justin fell against the back of his seat and sighed. “This is going to be
great.”
Justin’s excitement infected Brian, encouraging him to express his own. “I have
all his movies but watching them at home and watching them in a theater just
isn’t the same.”
Justin nodded. “I know. The only movies I’ve seen of his in a theatre are the
ones after “Don Juan Demarco”. Don’t laugh. I love that movie.”
Brian did too. “The first one I saw was “The Missouri Breaks”. My
grandfather took me to see it ‘cause he was a big Brando fan. I couldn’t have
been more than five but I loved it. He took me to see it twice more before it
left the theatre. My mom didn’t think I should be seeing such a movie, which
just made me like it even more. She was pissed but she wouldn’t ever stop her
dad from taking me with him.”
“Want to know how I first knew that I was gay?” Justin asked.
“How?”
“I popped a boner when in the first seconds I saw Stanley with his muscles
bulging in the white shirt,” Justin confessed, giggling. “My mom was sitting
next to me on the couch and well, it hadn’t ever happened before so I didn’t
know to think of gross shit to make it go away. So instead, I just ran up to my
room and that afternoon I sorta figured out how to jerk off.”
Brian laughed softly as he pulled up in front of Justin’s apartment building.
“All right, Stella, hop out.”
“Thanks for giving me a ride,” Justin said sincerely. “This was fun.”
“You’re welcome.” Brian wasn’t sure if having a constant hard-on for Justin was
considered fun but he nodded his head in agreement.
“So I’ll look online, find out all the movie times and call you after I talk to
Deb about my schedule.” Justin bit his bottom lip nervously. “That is, if you
weren’t just humoring me?”
Brian didn’t reply to that stupid question. “You don’t have my number,” he told
him. A car beeped behind Brian, pissed that Brian was blocking the busy road.
“You can pull around that way,” Justin directed, “there’s a small lot.”
Brian put the Jeep in gear and pulled into the grimy parking lot. The building
hadn’t looked so bad from the front, but from the side it looked like it was
falling apart. “Which one is yours?” he asked, hoping Justin didn’t live
anywhere near the largest crack in the bricks.
“It looks scary, but it really isn’t that bad. Heck, you live around here,
right?”
“Yeah,” Brian pointed across the street. “The building to the right of the Irish
pub, I’m the top floor loft.”
“Then you know that the neighborhood is coming back. My landlord is all about
restoring the warehouse district. He’s had contractors out here every morning
looking at that crack. He said they’re just waiting to find bricks that match it
well enough before they fix it.”
“I hope they don’t wait too long,” Brian said grimly. “It looks like it’s about
to fall down.”
Justin shook his head at Brian. “The inside is nice.” At Brian’s doubtful look,
he said, “You can come in if you want. See for yourself.”
Brian would like to believe that Justin meant that he could come upstairs and
fuck him, but he knew that wasn’t what he meant. “Not tonight. I’ve got places
to be.”
“Oh, okay.” Justin gave Brian his cell phone. “Put your number in there.”
Brian punched in his number, saved it in contacts and handed the phone back.
“Later.”
Justin smiled one last time at Brian and hopped out of the Jeep. “Later.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“You were test dating him,” Michael whispered with awe. “I thought about it all
week and I decided that’s what you were doing.”
“Shut up.”
“I know ‘test dating’ when I see it and that was it.” Michael pushed Brian back
into his seat and crossed his arms. “And you are going to the movies with him.
It’s not a good idea.”
“Why?” Brian slumped in his seat.
“He’s going to think it’s a date. No matter what, that’s what he’s going to
think.”
“He’s not a girl, Mikey. He doesn’t even like me like that. Didn’t you say that
yourself?”
“He asked me,” Michael confessed. “Don’t you dare tell him that I’m telling you
this, but he asked me….yesterday at the shop he asked me about it and…”
“What did he ask you?” Brian was entirely confused.
“He asked me if you thought going to the movies with him was a date.”
Brian put his face in his hands as the subject of their conversation appeared
from the back, finished with his break. “What?” he groaned.
Michael leaned over the table and spoke quietly. “He thinks that maybe you want
to date him but that you are too afraid to call it a date. He’s not stupid,
Brian, neither am I. We all saw how you treated Justin at dinner. They all can’t
wait to see how you’re going to act tonight.”
Brian grabbed his glass of water and quenched his dry throat. “So? What did you
tell him?”
“I told him that no, you would definitely not think of it as a date. I didn’t
want him getting nervous about it or expecting anything more than friendship
with you.”
“Thanks,” Brian grumbled.
“What I don’t get is that if you can commit to spending a month with him at the
movies, almost every single night, why can’t you just call it a date?” Michael
asked, still keeping his voice quiet. “It would be the same thing as hanging out
with him, except you might actually get what you want out of it and he might get
what he wants out of it.”
“What he wants is a boyfriend and he isn’t getting that.”
“No, he doesn’t. He told me that he doesn’t want to jump into any relationship.
But if the option were there… then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for you both.”
“You think that if I tell him it’s a date that, at the end of all of it, we
might…” Brian stopped himself from saying ‘fuck’… that would ruin it all.
Michael would freak out, tell Justin that that was the only reason he agreed to
go to the movies with him and that would be the end of everything. “We might get
to know one another,” he finished with.
Michael smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “You get it.”
“Uh… yeah.” No. Brian didn’t really get it at all. It was a lot of trouble to go
to just to fuck someone. But then again, watching Brando movies wasn’t that much
trouble at all. They were going to do that anyway. So what if he called it a
date? It didn’t have to mean anything once he actually did fuck Justin.
“Then go on,” Michael said, nodding toward the counter. “He’s alone right now.
Go ask him on a date.”
“But we already have plans for this Friday,” Brian said.
“So ask him to dinner first,” Michael suggested.
Brian nodded in acceptance of his fate. He could do it. He could go to dinner,
say it was a date, and then take Justin to the movies. It wasn’t a big deal at
all.
“Go,” Michael urged.
Brian shook his head. “Just leave it alone, Mikey.”
Michael huffed a breath of disappointment. “Fine.”
“Don’t be encouraging him,” Brian whispered. “Next time he asks about me just
tell him that you don’t want to be caught in the middle.”
Michael took that to mean that, for Brian, there was something between him and
Justin to be in the middle of. “All right,” he said, his smile reappearing.
~~~~~~~~~~
“So, you really are stalking me?”
Justin stood outside Brian’s door with an easy grin on his face. He didn’t want
to appear as though he knew that it was odd to show up at Brian’s door
unannounced. “Uh… no. You told me where you lived, remember?”
Brian opened the door wide enough to allow Justin to step inside and closed it
behind him once he ducked under his arm, sliding his clothed body far too
sensually against Brian’s almost-naked one. “I don’t recall inviting you over.”
“You didn’t.” After Brian had left the diner earlier, Michael had stopped him,
talked to him and gently informed Justin that Brian wasn’t trying to date him.
It had been hilarious, but Justin had played it off as if he didn’t know that.
Of course, he didn’t totally believe it. “I thought I’d see if you’d left for
Debbie’s.” He kept his eyes on the huge windows and not on Brian’s towel-clad
body. Remaining cool, confident, and unaffected by Brian’s sexual appeal was
inherent to him staying ‘just friends’ with him.
“Well, as you can see I haven’t left yet.” Brian bit his lips and considered
walking in front of Justin and ‘accidentally’ dropping the towel. It was obvious
Justin was trying hard to ignore the fact that he was standing there in only a
towel.
Justin took a deep breath and faced Brian but kept his eyes on his face. “Good.
Then I can tag along with you?”
Brian decided against dropping the towel. “I guess. But I should warn you about
something.”
“What’s that?” Justin put his hands in his belt-loops and teetered from heel to
toe. “Wait, let me guess. Everyone at dinner is going to be trying to get us
hooked up, right? They’ll be watching our every move.”
Brian smiled to himself as he walked back into his bedroom to get dressed.
“Yeah, I think we’re their new project.”
Justin walked over to the sofa and turned his body so that there was no way he
could see Brian through the glass doors. “Don’t they know you at all?” he asked
seriously.
Brian slid his briefs on and momentarily wondered how Justin could resist
sneaking a peak at him. “They do, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to get
me to conform to their idealist way of life.”
Justin stopped himself from laughing at that remark. “Really? Then we should do
something to make them stop trying to get you to conform.”
Brian pulled his black tank top on while informing Justin, “The only way to get
them to stop is for you to fuck me. Then, they wouldn’t think that they have
something on me.”
This time, Justin laughed. “Brian, that’s not going to happen. You and I aren’t
compatible.”
“I have a cock that can make almost any ass compatible,” Brian replied, only
half-joking.
“I bet you do. But that’s not going to work.” Justin turned to see Brian walking
down the steps, looking like sex on legs. He’d definitely be having some
jerk-off fantasies tonight.
Brian took a seat beside Justin and began to put on his socks and shoes. “Given
that you’ve known my friends for all of maybe two months, what do you think will
work?”
“Give them what they want. Tell them we’re dating and at some point we’ll break
up and you can show them just how wrong they were about you. Relationships don’t
work for you and never will. Maybe then they’ll leave you alone.”
It probably would work, but Brian wasn’t willing to do anything of the sort. “No
way. That’s too devious, even for me.”
“All right,” Justin sighed. “I guess we’ll just have to ignore them.”
“Besides, don’t you want me to date you?” Brian asked. “If we did what you
suggest, wouldn’t that make it….weird for you?” It wasn’t that Brian cared if it
were, he just wanted to make sure that this conversation wasn’t some
pre-arranged plan inside Justin’s head.
“You don’t want to date me so that’s all that matters.” Justin was happy that
he’d spoken those words as though he couldn’t care less.
Brian gathered his wallet and keys, giving himself something to do, other than
slit his writs. He’d had enough talk of dating to last a lifetime. He never
wanted to hear the word ‘date’ again.
~~~~~~~~~~
“So, is this a date?” Lindsay asked Brian as she walked out onto the back porch.
Brian turned and looked at the mother of his son as if she had three heads.
“Have you gone mad?”
“It’s just that… we’ve all been thinking that you two…”
“Are friends, that’s it. Drop it.”
“Michael said that….”
“Whatever he said, he’s wrong. Justin doesn’t have a car and I live a block away
from him so he walked over and asked me for a ride. That’s all this is.”
“But you’re going to the movies…”
“Justin likes Brando, I like Brando. That’s the only reason we’re going to the
movies together next month.”
Lindsay looked doubtful. “It wouldn’t hurt if…”
“I’m not dating Justin. It isn’t because I don’t like him. It isn’t because he
doesn’t like me. It isn’t because I think I’m going to get my wittle feelings
hurt. I’m not going to date him because neither one of us wants to date the
other. And let’s not forget that I don’t go on dates.”
“You’re sure?” Lindsay asked. “Because I think Justin does want to date you,
even if he hasn’t said anything.”
“Justin doesn’t want to date me. He told me so.” Well, not exactly, but Lindsay
didn’t need to know that.
“Oh.”
“Is it completely impossible for you guys to believe that I can become friends
with someone that I haven’t known for half my life?”
“No, Brian, I didn’t mean it like that. I just want to see you happy. Justin and
you have chemistry and I know you guys haven’t had sex, so I figured there might
be something more between you two.”
“I am happy. Whatever chemistry you think you see, isn’t there.” Brian stormed
back into Debbie’s house and found the rest of his friends all laughing. Justin
had his hands over his flushed face and his giggles sent tingles to Brian’s
dick. “Justin, are you ready?”
Justin dropped his hands and looked at Brian with a worried expression.
“Uh…sure.”
“We can give you a ride if you don’t want to leave yet,” Lindsay spoke from
behind Brian.
“That’s all right. I’ve got some school work I have to do.” Justin stood from
the floor, walked over to Debbie, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for
dinner. It was wonderful as always.”
“You’re welcome, honey.” Debbie looked over at Brian and raised one of her
eyebrows.
Brian walked over to her and kissed her too. “Thanks, Deb.”
“Daddy, I can go with you,” Gus said, wrapping his arms around his father’s
legs.
“Not today, Gus,” Brian told him, bending down to hug him properly. “I’ll see
you this week, okay?”
Gus pouted. “Okay.”
“Bye, Gus.” Justin said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Next time I come over, I’ll
make sure to bring my big drawing pad and we’ll draw some pictures together.”
Gus’ frown turned into a huge smile and he hugged Justin. “Okay.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Were you and Lindsay fighting?” Justin asked, once they were in Brian’s Vette.
“Not exactly.” Brian couldn’t believe that Justin was so perceptive. No one else
seemed to have noticed. “She was grilling me about you.”
“So ignoring her didn’t work.”
“It usually doesn’t.”
“Well, I’ll talk to her and make her understand that it isn’t just you that…”
“I don’t need you defending my honor.”
“Someone has to. From what I’ve been told, you don’t have much left.” Justin
meant it as a joke and hoped Brian understood that.
Brian put his hand on Justin’s knee for a moment before he needed to shift
gears. “It’s a good thing we aren’t dating. Cause that would’ve broken my heart
and I would’ve broken up with you.” He began to laugh then, feeling much better
now that he was away from eyes that tried to dissect his and Justin’s…whatever.
“Please, I would’ve broken up with you earlier when you stole my last bite of
ziti.”
The entire ride to Justin’s apartment was spent discussing the many reasons for
which they would’ve had to break up with each another throughout the four hours
they’d spent together that day.
Brian didn’t bother pulling up in front of the building; he pulled around to the
lot, wanting to see if the landlord had any work done to the building yet. He
was shocked at what he saw. “Justin, that’s another huge crack!”
Justin tilted his head sideways and looked at the building from various angles.
“No. I think that one was there.”
“Are you crazy?” Brian asked. “I would’ve noticed that there was a crack leading
from the very top floor to the bottom level. You need to call the city and have
it inspected.”
“I’ll talk to the landlord,” Justin said. “I really doubt the city will do
anything about it.”
Brian wanted to shake Justin. “If that thing falls down…”
“It won’t,” Justin assured, opening his door. “Later.”
“Later.” Brian watched Justin enter in the side door and as it closed, he saw
dust rain down from the new crack. If Justin wouldn’t call the city about it, he
would.