Before There Was You, There Was You

Chapter 6

 The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love—William Shakespeare

 

*****

“Jesus, Brian, you can’t just disappear for a week at the drop of a hat!” Cynthia screeched into the phone.

Brian cradled his phone between his neck and shoulder as he pulled his Louis Vuitton suitcase from the closet. The first thing he'd done when he entered the loft was call Cynthia and ask her to make flight reservations and cancel his appointments for the next few days. He started packing as he talked.

Cynthia had every right to be mad. It was irresponsible for him to leave now, especially when his company was just taking off. Many people, some who left Vanguard to work for him, depended on him making a success of the company. He tried to make her understand the importance of this trip.

“Cynthia, please give me a break. If it wasn’t really important, do you think I’d be going?” Brian tried to reason with her.

He opened the top drawer of the bedside stand and found it empty. He stared at it for a minute and then remembered it was Justin’s drawer. He closed it quickly. He couldn’t think of that now. Justin would be here any minute. He went to the dresser on the other side of room.

“Brian, what are we supposed to do? John Remington has been waiting in your office for half an hour! I told him you had an emergency and that you were running a little late. And have you forgotten your 3 o’clock with Sparkle Spas? I don’t think they’ll appreciate getting lured from their old agency only to be stood up by the new guy in town.” Cynthia was on the edge of hysterics.

Brian threw some garments in the expensive luggage and barked into the phone.

“I haven’t forgotten a thing, Cynthia. It’s my fucking company, remember?” He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his temple. He took a few calming breaths before he spoke again.

“Listen to me, Cynthia. Are you listening?” Brian asked.

“Yes,” Cynthia answered patiently.

“Have Ted do the presentation for Sparkle. He worked on it with me, he knows the whole campaign. He can make the pitch. The only other meetings I have today are with the new director of my art department and Ted about those fucking insurance forms. They both work for me, so they can wait. Reschedule them. As for Remington, put him on the phone, I’ll deal with him.” Brian was in damage control mode.

Cynthia seemed pacified. “When will you be back?”

“Next Monday. It’s only two days, Cynthia.” It was Wednesday so technically it was three days, but today was already shot.

“Okay, I’ll shift the rest of the week's appointments around,” she said.

Cynthia was the best. Brian was confident she could handle things while he was away. She was bright and extremely confident, and she was determined to see Kinnetik succeed. She hoped to be partner one day. He could see that happening down the road.

“Thanks, Cynthia. I’ll keep in touch, and you know to call me if anything comes up that you can’t handle. Now please put John on the phone for me.”

Remington Pharmaceuticals was Brian’s first client after he left Vanguard and his biggest client. If it weren’t for Remington he wouldn’t have been able to set up Kinnetik. Robert Remington Senior trusted Brian and had left Vanguard for Kinnetik, knowing that Brian was pretty much working out of a suitcase at the time. But the old man liked Brian’s ideas, and gumption, as he put it.

Brian had made sure the old man wasn’t disappointed. The first campaign he'd done for them was a huge success. Now they had a new product coming out on the market and they needed a brilliant campaign to launch it. And who better to make that magic happen than Brian? Robert didn’t want any other agents at Kinnetik to work on it; Brian had to handle it personally and he was glad to, especially now that John, Robert’s son, had taken over the company.

Brian liked John. He had taken a hands-on approach to every detail of the family business, including the advertising. He had worked with Brian over many hours developing strategies for the new campaign. They had actually become good friends, which was really odd and out of character because Brian didn’t have any straight friends and John was definitely straight. But John was smart, ambitious, and arrogant—all traits Brian admired. Plus he made a great racket ball partner. Brian had even felt comfortable enough to talk to him about Justin. Nothing too personal, of course.

John knew Brian was gay. One day after they had finished working out a detail on a radio ad, John said to Brian out of the blue, “I hear you’re gay, Brian.” As if he were saying, “I hear you’re a Mets fan.” Brian’s defenses went up, as they always did around straight people who asked about his personal life.

“You heard right,” Brian answered, then added for affect, “and unless I’m sucking your cock, I really don’t think it’s any of your business.” Brian thought now that that had been a stupid, reckless move. He could have lost their business over a comment like that. At the time he hadn't known John well, and the old man would never have asked him such a personal question. But John just laughed and said, “Okay, point taken. I was just asking because my brother Bob is gay. Sorry, bad of me to try and match make.”

That had made Brian laugh. Never before had anyone tried to fix him up on a date.
Brian told him he was seeing someone. What could he tell him? “Um, sorry, John, but I don’t do relationships, I just fuck.” No, that wouldn’t do. So he kind of lied. Well, not really, because he was in a non-kind of relationship with Justin at the time. And that was the door that opened for future discussions about Justin.

“Mr. Kinney is on the phone for you, Mr. Remington,” Brian heard Cynthia say as she handed the phone to John.

“Hey, Brian, what’s up?” John asked.

“John, I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to make our appointment today. Cynthia will reschedule for us. Something came up and I have to leave town for a few days,” Brian explained.

“Is everything alright?” John sounded genuinely concerned. John was loyal to a fault and took their friendship very seriously.

“Some family business I can’t get into right now, but I promise to explain more when I get back. I’m going to have to cancel our racket ball date on Saturday as well,” Brian said.

“No problem. It will just give me more time to practice so I can beat your sorry ass next time,” John joked. “You take care, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, John, I’ll talk to you when I get back on Monday. Give Robert my best,.”

“Will do. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Brian shut his cell and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at the clock on his nightstand: 12:00 p.m. Where the fuck was Justin? He'd called him half an hour ago. He should have been here by now.

Brian walked into the kitchen and pulled down a glass and a bottle of Beam. He poured a hefty amount of the dark liquid into the glass and took a long swig. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that maybe this conversation wouldn’t be so bad, not if he left out some vital details. Some things need never be revealed. Only he and Rena knew the truth of those last months, those last days … Even Michael didn’t know those details.

But Justin, well, he always knew when Brian was holding something back. Brian took another swig of Beam. There was nothing to do about it now but go for it. Some things were just out of his control.

 

*****
 

“I’ll sit here as long as you like, Justin. I’m your best friend. But as the saying goes, shit or get off the pot.”

Justin thought Daphne had a colorful way of making a point. He’d been sitting in the car looking up at the tall brick building for the past twenty minutes. Daphne was right.

“Okay, lay off already. Fuck! I just need a minute. I haven’t been here in over a month. It’s not that easy, Daph,” Justin tried to explain.

“You've had twenty minutes,” she reminded him.

Justin bit his thumbnail nervously. He didn’t know if he could handle being in the loft alone with Brian. The truth was—the God-awful truth he was desperately trying to deny to himself—he missed Brian. Every time he was near Brian his body responded. It was like it had a mind of its own. It wasn’t just his cock, though that usually got hard when Brian was in close proximity; it was his entire body. His body ached to be touched by Brian again. He didn’t trust himself to go up to the loft and not throw himself at Brian.

“Justin!” Daphne was getting impatient.

“Okay! I’m going.” Justin opened the car door and got out.

“Do you want me to wait for you? Or if you prefer, just call my cell and I’ll come back and get you when you’re finished,” Daphne offered.

“Thanks, Daph. I’ll call you if I need a ride,” Justin said.

If? What the fuck was he thinking!? He closed the car door and walked towards the building's entrance.

Daphne rolled down the passenger side window and yelled, “You better call me and tell me everything!”

He turned and waved her away, then rang the bell for entrance.

Brian buzzed him up. Justin stepped into the elevator and sent a silent prayer up for strength. As soon as he stepped out of the elevator Brian opened the door to the loft.

“Hey,” Brian said, and stepped aside to let Justin in.

“Hey,” Justin answered and walked past Brian into the loft.

Brian closed the door behind him. He loved the way Justin smelled—a combination of innocence and sex. It was uniquely his scent and no aphrodisiac could match its power. Brian had to steel himself against it.

Justin walked to the middle of the loft, unsure of where to go. He turned to look at Brian, waiting to be invited to sit or something. It was the something that had his heart beating wildly.

Brian watched Justin standing in the middle of the loft unsure of what to do and no doubt wondering why he was here. God, he looked good. He had on his white jacket, with his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. His hair was a little longer. Brian liked it. Justin shifted and his jacket slipped open a bit. Brian noticed he had lost some weight. He frowned. Wasn’t he eating enough? Couldn’t that fucking fiddler afford to feed him? For the first time Brian had doubts about letting Justin go live with Ian. It made him angry.

“You lost weight,” Brian accused, looking at Justin with disgust.

Justin took offense and snapped back, “And you care why?”

Brian raised his eyebrow and put his tongue in his cheek at Justin’s retort. He looked away from Justin and walked to the kitchen to pull down a glass. He poured Beam into his glass and another glass for Justin. He picked up both glasses and walked over to Justin.

“Who says I care,” he replied. “I was just making an observation.” He handed Justin the glass of Beam.

Justin took the glass, his anger rising. He took a long drink of the harsh liquid. It burned all the way down his throat. He welcomed the feel of it.

“While we’re making observations, how’s this one for you? You’re still an asshole.” Justin glared at Brian.

Shit! He thought he was past this, but obviously he wasn’t. He was still angry with Brian. Before he left he was so needy, confessing his affair with Ethan and asking Brian if he cared if he left. Then when he didn’t get the answer he'd wanted he just left Brian at the party. He never vented his anger at Brian. Oh and he was angry! He never would have had the affair with Ethan if Brian had acted like a fucking human being for at least ten minutes out of a day. Maybe this was what this was about, Justin thought. He was sure Brian had some unresolved anger of his own. After all, Justin had embarrassed him in front of his friends by leaving with another guy. Not that Brian would be upset that Justin had left him! No, the almighty Kinney was more concerned about his image than Justin’s feelings.

Brian saw Justin’s blue eyes grow dark and stormy as his anger started taking hold of him. It sparked his own anger. How dare the little fuck! He was the one who left! And at a party he threw for him and that comic book! If anyone was the wounded party here, it was him, Brian thought angrily. Okay, so he knew he'd pushed Justin into Ethan’s arms, but, hey, that wasn’t the point! Brian leaned into Justin, his own eye’s blaring.

“Tell me how much of an asshole I was while you were fucking that fiddler behind my back!” Brian yelled into his face.

This only made Justin angrier. “I’m surprised you noticed. When was that? Between tricks number four and five?” Justin had stepped into dangerous territory but he was beyond caring. “Did it upset you that I didn’t bring Ethan to bed for you to fuck? I mean, that was my job, right? To bring home tricks for you?”

Brian snorted. “Don’t play the innocent with me, Sunshine,” he sneered.

“You loved fucking all those guys. And as for Ian, you should know I don’t do pity fucks.” Brian aimed to hurt. Fuck, this was NOT where he wanted this conversation to go. It was getting out of control, but Brian couldn’t stop himself. Justin was pushing his buttons, bringing out feelings he’d successfully bottled up until now. He had to get the conversation back on track. He was leaving on an early plane tomorrow for New York and needed to explain things to Justin. Instead, he was standing here having a pissing contest with him. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!

Justin snapped his head back as if Brian had smacked him. Then his eyes grew even darker, if that were possible. Brian was afraid he'd gone too far.

Justin pulled himself up on his toes to bring himself close to Brian’s face and growled with all his pent-up emotions, “Fuck you, Brian!”

Their faces were so close their heated breaths mingled with each other’s. They stood like that for a long moment, neither daring to make a move. Their eyes locked together. And then, Justin saw it—the change in Brian’s eyes.

Brian threw his glass against the wall, liquid and glass splintering on the wooden floor. Justin held his gaze and did the same with his glass.

Brian grabbed the front of Justin’s jacket and pulled him closer, then turned him around and slammed him against one of the beams. Justin’s whole body came alive.

Brian looked at Justin’s mouth, desire hot and strong running through his veins.
Justin’s chest rose and fell rapidly. Brian could smell his desire. Justin’s tongue darted out and ran along his bottom lip. Brian sucked in his breath at the sight.

“Yeah,” Brian said, low and husky. “Fuck me.” Then he brought his mouth down hard on Justin’s.

Justin brought his arms up around Brian and pulled his body against his own.

Yeah, Brian thought, some things would always be out of his control …
 

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