Before There Was You, There Was You

Chapter 58

“All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all”

~ Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

 

Friday


“You smell good.” Justin’s voice broke the eerie silence of the small reception room. “What are you wearing?”

They’d been waiting for over forty minutes now. Justin wondered how the fuck Brian could be so calm. He was so nervous he had resorted to idle conversation. Something Brian was never really fond of.

Brian looked sideways at him from his spot next to him on the hard bench they were sitting on. “It’s Vera Wang for Men,” he answered coolly.

“Well I like it. It suits you,” Justin said, totally at a lost for conversation.

Brian laughed unexpectedly startling Justin. “Why am I not surprised?” he said, as if it were a private joke.

Justin looked at him suspiciously. He’d been in an odd mood for several days now. He wondered, no maybe hoped, not for the first time, if Brian was planning something for his birthday tomorrow. He forced himself though not to get his hopes up too high.

Brian shifted on the bench slightly. His thigh flexed; the muscle was overly taut. Justin caught the significance of that small movement. It seemed he wasn’t as calm as he wanted Justin to believe he was after all. Justin could always tell Brian’s mood by his body language, no matter how small or subtle, the gesture, Justin picked up on it. Brian was nervous about this meeting.

When the agency’s rep told them of the surrogate’s situation, Brian reacted strongly and immediately. He was already emotionally invested in this case. Justin was so wrapped up in his own joy over starting the process he lost sight of how all this was affecting Brian.

He leaned over and whispered in his ear. “I love you, you know. And since you also love me, this is the part where you can say something ridiculously romantic like, ‘I love you too’,” Justin teased, trying to lessen the tension. “Or you can say something less obvious, but equally romantic like… ‘You smell good’."

Justin’s humor was not lost on Brian. He turned to him and smiled. “Yeah, well that was just about the most endearing thing you’ve said to me all day.”

He was rewarded with one of Justin’s smiles.

“Hey, I’m an artist, not a poet. Considering I had to come up with that line sitting on this hard piece of wood, which by the way, may make my ass so sore you won’t be using it for days, I’d say it was pretty damn good.”

Brian shot him a horrified look. “Don’t EVEN joke about such a thing.” Brian said in reference to Justin’s sore ass not being available for his use.

Justin was about to reply when the door opened.

“I’m sorry for the delay, Mr. Taylor, Mr. Kinney, but Mrs. Weston had trouble getting a ride into town. She’s here now. She’s just in the bathroom freshening up,” Ms. Stenza, the agency’s rep assigned to their case, explained awkwardly from the doorway.

“Is there a problem?” Brian asked sensing the woman’s anxiety.

“Um, no, you have to understand, Mr. Kinney, many of these woman become surrogates because of their situations, and as we discussed on the phone, Mrs. Weston’s situation is particularly dire. It’s why we were able to set up this meeting so quickly. It was nothing short of a miracle that you called when you did. Well, at least that’s what Mrs. Weston believes. She’s just a little nervous about meeting you.”

Brian had checked out ‘Angelmatchers’ the day after he and Justin had discussed employing a surrogate. He was impressed with the agency’s work and reputation. They had been operating for over 10 years, with a 95% success rate. Justin, of course, loved the agency’s name, Brian loved their stats. They also had an impressive number of gay clients.

They set up an interview for Wednesday and were told that very day that the agency had what they believed a perfect match for them. A widow in her 30’s with three children. Her husband was a truck driver who died from an aneurysm.

He left his family virtually penniless. There was no life insurance or health benefits. Still, his widow was a proud woman who did not want to go on welfare. She worked nights sewing and cleaning for the people in her neighborhood to support her family. And though they were poor, she made do. But then her youngest child got into an accident and was badly disfigured.

According to Ms. Stenza, the boy was out fishing in the woods when a bear attacked him. It was a miracle he survived. The doctors were able to save his life, but the boy was left with extensive scarring and skin damage, especially to his face and neck area, where most of the tearing occurred.

The bills from the hospital were outstanding, and the ‘prospective surrogate’ was in danger of losing her home. Plus, she could never afford to pay for the many surgeries needed to make her son look normal again. Surgeries, that needed to begin immediately according to the doctors, if the boy were to have any chance of successful facial reconstruction.

A friend told the desperate woman about Angelmatchers. She contacted the agency and went through the extensive interview process and had a complete medical exam done. She was accepted last Friday. On Monday, Brian had called inquiring about a surrogate mother for his and Justin’s child.

The agency set up an interview with Brian and Justin this past Wednesday. They had their blood work done that day as well. Because of Mrs. Weston’s special circumstance, the agency sped up the process.

Two days later an introduction was arranged. It wasn’t lost on any of the parties involved the importance of this first meeting. If all parties were agreeable, the procedure could begin immediately.

Brian and Justin would have their sperm injected into the surrogate and start the process, and Mrs. Weston would have the funds to get her son the immediate medical attention he so desperately needed.

Brian chalked it up to luck that they found each other through this agency. Mrs. Weston deemed it a divine intervention. And of course, Justin deemed it fate.

Whatever the cause, here they all were.

Mrs. Stenza looked behind her. “Oh, here she is,” she said smiling and stepped aside to let the woman in.

Both men rose to greet her. Their eyes were glued to the woman entering.

She was a wisp of a girl really, looking much younger than her thirty some odd years. She stood about 5’2’, with soft features, and the loveliest white blonde hair either had ever seen. It was pulled back in a very demure ponytail.

She was clad in a worn beige overcoat that came down to her calves. Peeking out from underneath her coat were two skinny legs clad in thick dark cable stockings. Her shoes were dark brown leather service shoes. Normally her attire would offend Brian’s fashion sensibilities but not in this case. This woman wore her dignity like he wore his best Armani suit…with pride. She could have been wearing a Valentino gown and not looked any different.

She entered the room shyly, her eyes lowered, yet her shoulders were back, her spine stiff. This was a very proud woman; it showed in her body language.

Brian and Justin both turned to look at each other at the same time, their eyes conveying their thoughts to each other. There was something special about this woman. She had character.

Ms. Stenza made the introductions. “Mrs. Weston, this is Mr. Kinney and Mr. Taylor.”
 

They all shook hands and Mrs. Weston was given a chair to sit opposite them.

Ms. Stenza then moved to the back of the room, away from the small group. Her role at this point was to observe the meeting and be available for any questions.

The three of them sat there for a long time, just looking at each other. An awkward silence ensued.

Brian was first to speak.

“Mrs. Weston, I know this must be very difficult for you. Justin and I would like you to know how very sorry we are for your son’s unfortunate situation. We’ve already decided that whether or not you agree to be a surrogate to our child, we are going to make sure your son gets the medical treatment he needs.”

The woman let out a small gasp, almost a cry. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked behind her to the Rep.

“It’s true, Mrs. Weston. They agreed to pay for your son’s surgeries, no matter what your decision.”

“And we don’t want you to feel you have to carry our child out of gratitude. We believe it was fate that brought us together for your son’s benefit. Not for ours,” Justin added in a kind voice.

Brian gave Justin a sharp look. He did not believe it was ‘fate’ as Justin did. He did however believe that they were in a position to help a young boy and he was not about to let that young boy suffer if he could help it. Brian always had a soft spot for young boys in trouble, starting with himself and Andy.

The woman took a handkerchief out of her coat pocket and dabbed at her eyes. They noticed for the first time she did not carry a handbag, yet another glimpse into the personality of the woman sitting before them.

She took a moment to compose herself before speaking. “I believe that God works in mysterious ways,” she began tentatively.

“He might very well, Mrs. Weston, but…”

“Please, call me Lucy…”

“Very well, Lucy. As I was saying, He may very well work in mysterious ways, but there is no mystery about this. Your son will get the help he needs. It was luck that has brought us together. Sometimes we all need a little luck in our lives,” Brian said smiling at the woman.

Lucy looked over to Justin sensing that he believed as she did. Luck had little to do with it, it was truly divine intervention. He smiled at her and her heart skipped. He had the most brilliant smile.

“Please forgive my partner, Lucy, he may be a bit of a skeptic, but believe me you’ll never meet a kinder soul. If that’s not the work of God, I don’t know what is,” Justin said with a gleam in his eyes.

She turned her attention back to Brian. “Mr. Kinney…”

“Please call me Brian.”

“Brian, luck or not, I cannot thank you enough for your kindness and generosity towards my son. He’s a bright boy, always talking about building bridges. You see he wants to be an engineer,” she said, pride shinning in her eyes. “What you are doing for him cannot be repaid. I know that. In either case, it’s not why I’ve already decided to be your surrogate.”

It was Brian and Justin’s turn to gasp in surprise.

“If I hadn’t decided before I walked in that door, I would have the moment I looked into both your eyes. You are kind, decent men, and it would be my privilege to do this small favor for you. It’s God’s will, Mr. Kinney. Or if you prefer, luck.”

Brian reached over and grabbed Justin’s hand, his eyes still fixed on Lucy’s. “And we cannot thank you enough,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “But understand, we want you to be sure. Please, take some time to think about it. There is no urgency here.”

Lucy shook her head. “No, the decision has been made. I’ve never felt more certain about anything.” She stood up to leave, letting the men know her decision was final..

Brian and Justin stood up as well.

“I’ll come down to the clinic on Monday, if that’s ok with you. Doctor Hadley will do the insemination. The timing is perfect.” She blushed a bit hoping she wouldn’t have to explain what she meant by that. When it came to her menstrual cycle, she was as regular as a Swiss clock. Come Monday, she would be ovulating.

Both Brian and Justin nodded their heads in understanding. “We’ll be there.”

She took a deep breath. “I have one request, actually two, if you don’t mind.”

“If we can oblige you, be certain we will.”

“First, I’d like you to meet my son, Elliot. He was named after my father. You see, he died right before I gave birth and my husband and I thought to honor him by naming our son after him. It would mean a lot to me if you met him. And I want him to meet the both of you. It’s important to me that he know the men who saved his life. Please consider it.”

Brian looked at Justin. Justin nodded his head.

“We would love to meet your son,” Brian said turning back to address Lucy.

“The second thing I’d like you to consider is more selfish I’m afraid.” Lucy once again lowered her eyes.,

They waited patiently for her to continue.

“You see, Elliot is my only son, the youngest of my three children. We were going to name him after my husband, but then my father died, so we named him after him. We always intended to have more children. I was hoping one day to have another son and name him after his father.”

She looked up at them at this point.

“My husband was a good man. A man I’m sure you would have both liked and respected. He was a wonderful father and husband. When he wasn’t working to support his family, he was helping others in need. He was the kindest, gentlest human being and he was greatly loved. He was the love of my life.” A sad smile showed on her face as memories of her much loved departed husband filled her.

“I know this is not my place, and I shouldn’t be asking, but I am asking.” She took a deep breath and blurted out the request. “It would mean the world to me, and it would do ‘HIM’ a great honor if you were to name the child after him, if it’s a boy.”

Brian and Justin looked at each other. It wasn’t an unreasonable request; neither really thought it a deal breaker. They kind of shrugged at each other as if saying, “why not?”

“What was your husband’s name?” Justin asked the woman.

“Andrew. His friends called him Andy….”

 

***
 

Saturday Morning:


Justin slipped out of bed quietly so as not to wake Brian. He stretched his pleasantly sore muscles before walking into the bathroom to relieve himself.

The events of the past week had been an emotional rollercoaster.

They were actually going to have a baby. A baby, if a boy, named Andy.

When Brian heard the name of Lucy’s deceased husband, a small part of him started to believe in divine intervention. Justin had to drive home yesterday, that’s how unnerved Brian was over the meeting with Lucy. If he weren’t emotionally invested before, he most definitely was now.

It was all happening so fast. They stayed up most of the night just talking. About the insemination, about the loft renovations, about meeting Lucy’s boy, about going to look for a preschool for Gus, even about how and when they were going to break the news to the family. They still had yet to decide what to do about Lindsey, though Justin believed finding out he and Brian were having a baby together would at least put a pin hole in her little fantasy bubble.

It was so fucking weird, talking about these things with Brian. It seemed way out of character for the stud of Liberty Avenue to be talking about nurseries and preschools. It was around three a.m. that it hit Brian what they’d been doing for the past several hours when he decided he had enough and fucked Justin into the mattress. There was only so much ‘domesticated conversation’ Brian could take in one night.

Justin flushed the toilet and headed for the kitchen. It was his birthday, and Justin didn’t want to wake Brian yet. He’d make some coffee before heading for the shower where he was sure Brian would join him to give him his ‘birthday fuck.’

Once the coffee was on, he pulled down a bowl and poured some cereal in it. His heart was a little sad. Brian didn’t even mention his birthday last night. He kept looking at the clock, waiting for midnight. But midnight came and went, and Brian didn’t acknowledge his birthday. He knew it was extremely selfish of him, and vain. Justin normally didn’t do vain. He’d been blessed so much this year, he couldn’t imagine having a better birthday. They were going to have a baby together. It was too wonderful to even imagine…

Still, a small part of him thought it would have been nice to hear “Happy birthday, Sunshine.”

Justin shook his silly thoughts away and brought his bowl of cereal to the kitchen counter. He sat down and started to eat when something on the dining room table caught his eye. It looked like a small box with a note lying on top of it.

He took his bowl over to the table and picked up the folded piece of paper. He opened the note and read it.


Justin, hard as I tried, and let me assure you, I tried HARD, I couldn’t find a hooker to suit both our needs this year (just kidding) .

Seriously though, you know I’m not really good at buying gifts and I didn’t think you’d appreciate me sending Cynthia out to buy a birthday (God I hate the word) gift for you so I bought this one myself. I know you’ll understand when you open it why I chose it.

Be careful, Sunshine. Birthdays aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. They signify the horrible reality that you’re getting old. If you continue to insist on having these dreadful things, I just might have to trade you in for a younger model (wink). You see now why I refuse to acknowledge them.

H. B.
B

Justin laughed and gently refolded the note. He picked up the box and tore the blue wrapping off to see what was inside. He blinked several times. It took his brain a minute to register what he was looking at.

There, lying in the middle of the box was a bottle of Vera Wang for Men.

Justin’s breath caught in his throat. It was the perfect gift. He ran into the bedroom and jumped on Brian, eliciting a painful groan from him.

“Why the fuck do I have to suffer on YOUR birthday!” Brian complained and tried to push Justin off of him.

Justin leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you,” he said looking into his lover’s eyes, his own misty.

Brian made a rude sound. “I just KNEW you’d love it,” he complained, as if he were disappointed Justin liked his gift.

Justin laughed. “You do realize that we now have a “matching pair of Vera Wangs,” Justin said wickedly, acknowledging the meaning behind the gift.

He could still hear Brian’s words in is head from that night long ago when he approached him on the dance floor of Babylon and asked him to move in with him

“Don’t think that just because we’re together it means we’ll be marching down the aisle like a couple of dykes wearing matching Vera Wangs.”

Brian grabbed Justin around the waist and flipped him over so he lay beneath him.

“Yeah, well don’t forget we’re GAY. We’re not like fucking straight people; we’re not your parents. We fuck who we want, when we want. And we’re together, because we want to be. Not because there are locks on our doors,” Brian said repeating the words from that same night.

He stared down into Justin’s eyes.

“And don’t ever forget that no matter where life takes us, whether we’re together or apart, we will always be connected, as one… here.” Brian took Justin’s hand and put it over his heart, and then he did the same with his hand, putting it over Justin’s heart.

“You’re it for me, Justin. You always have been. And always will be. The last face I’d like to see before I close my eyes for the last time is yours.” Brian’s voice cracked a bit with his emotion.

Justin was having a real hard time keeping his in check.

“Promise me that, and I might let you celebrate another birthday,” Brian said tongue in cheek.

Justin’s tears spilled down his cheek. He always knew Brian felt this way; deep down, his soul knew. It’s what always kept him coming back. His unwavering belief that Brian loved him, more deeply and profoundly than anyone could imagine. But hearing him confess as much was validation he didn’t need, but treasured nonetheless.

“I promise.”

Brian smiled down at him. “Happy Birthday, Sunshine,” he said then kissed him thoroughly.

They made love all morning. Then Brian fucked him for most of the afternoon. By two Brian reluctantly dragged Justin out of bed so they could shower and get ready to go to Rena’s.

Justin’s Birthday was far from over. The celebrations were just about to begin.

 

Return to Before There Was You, There Was You