Before There Was You, There Was You

Chapter 47

“I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions have an echo
In so much space

Bless your soul if
You really think you're in control”

~Gnarls Barkley

***
 

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not ready to come home?” Brian screamed into the phone.

Michael and Emmett snapped their heads around towards Brian’s outburst with identical shocked expressions on their faces.

Brian paced in front of the couch, the phone clenched tightly in his hands. “Are you fucking serious?!” He stopped pacing. “No, I don’t understand!” He started pacing again.

Emmett and Michael’s ears were glued to the one sided conversation.

“The boy’s got bigger balls then I thought,” Emmett whispered to Michael, a smile played on his lips.

“Either that or he has a fucking death wish. What is he doing?”

“I don’t know, but what ever it is, the king isn’t liking it.” Emmett pursed his lips and shook his head. “I smell a full blown Kinney queen out session coming on.”

Michael sighed and got up. “Time to remove the breakables.”

“Don’t forget the vase, and the ashtrays. Oh, and the remote! You know he’ll throw that as well.”

The two men got up from their seats at the kitchen counter and started removing all breakable items within Brian’s reach. They discreetly hid them behind the kitchen counter.

Brian was oblivious to their mission; he was too engrossed in his phone conversation, or more accurately, his argument, with Justin.

“Is THIS part of your intervention? Cause I’m telling you right now, Justin, you’re fucking killing me here! Forget the booze and the drugs it’s YOU who is going to be the death of me!” Brian was reaching full boil. “FINE! Stay the fuck at Rena’s. I’m going out!” Brian yelled into the phone then threw it against the wall. It broke and splinted into several pieces.

“Fuck, here we go,” Michael said.

“That fucking little twat is staying at Rena’s! What the fuck?” Brian paused and made an incredulous face, his arms spread out.

“Calm down, Brian, I’m sure he has a good reason.” Michael was trying to reason with his irate friend.

Brian turned on him. “Oh, I know he does, but he’s NOT TELLING ME!” Brian screamed at Michael. Michael flinched away.

“Don’t be taking it out on Michael, sweetie. You know how impulsive Justin is. He probably just needs some time to digest what he did. You did, after all, throw him out last night. And your sister, too, by the way. What did you expect? If I were them I wouldn’t want to talk to you right now either.” Emmett made a clucking sound with his tongue.

“Fuck you, Honeycutt, and stay the fuck out of my business!”

Emmett cupped his hand around his mouth and whispered to Michael. “Stage one, baby.”

Brian walked over to the coffee table looking for something to throw. The ashtray was gone, the remote was gone. He snorted in frustration and looked around the room for something he could vent his anger on.

His cell phone rang. It was sitting on the dining room table. All three men made a beeline for it. Emmett got to it first. He answered it breathless.

“Give me my phone!” Brian reached for it but Emmett side stepped him and went around to the other side of the table.

“Kinney’s phone,” Emmett answered.

“Emmett, why is the other phone busy? Put Brian on,” Justin said, his voice frantic.

“Hey, baby, the other phone is busy cause his majesty broke it. And I’m not giving him his cell because he’s going to break it as well. He’s in full queen out mode, sweetie.”

Brian glared at him and dashed around the table reaching for Emmett.

Emmett ran around to the other side to avoid him. Michael watch the two men go round and round the table. It was comical. He had to suppress his laugh.

“Emmett, you’re only pissing him off more.” Michael said, trying to sound stern.

Emmett’s answer was to stick his tongue out at him..

Justin sighed hearing the exchange on the other end. He needed to talk to Brian. The last thing he wanted was for Brian to get more pissed, and go out and do something stupid again. For the first time, Justin had no clue as to how Brian was feeling. Last night did not go as expected.

As if it weren’t bad enough that the whole intervention was a bust, the fight they had afterwards in the bedroom left them both emotionally exhausted. Brian sleeping for twelve fucking hours was freaking Justin out. As long as he’s known Brian, he’s never slept that long. He wanted to be there with him right now more than anything, but he couldn’t.

Rena was going to hypnotize Justin today. He didn’t tell Brian because he wasn’t sure if it would work. If it did, then they had a chance at starting over with the healing process. If not, then Justin had to find another way to reach Brian, which to date, he hasn’t been able to do.

He silently prayed that the session was successful today. But first, he had to get Brian to calm down. He couldn’t go through with it until he knew Brian was ok. He was grateful that Emmett and Michael were there to support him.

“Em, please, just put him on.”

“Ok, sweetie, but don’t blame me when he breaks this phone too and you have no choice but come here and talk to him in person.” Emmett winked at Brian.

Brian’s eyebrow shot up. Why that manipulative fucking queen, he thought. Emmett was setting it up so Justin would have to come home if he wanted to talk to Brian. Brian smiled. Emmett truly was a good friend. His unquestionable loyalty to both he and Justin almost made up for Brian having to endure his atrocious wardrobe. Almost.

Emmett handed the phone to Brian. “He’s all yours, baby.”

Brian took the phone. “What?” he asked harshly.

“Brian, please promise me you won’t throw the phone until I’m finished talking.”

“Why the fuck should I promise you anything?”

“Because you love me.”

Brian snorted. “All I want to hear from you is that you are coming home.”

“I’m coming home.”

Ok, that left Brian speechless for a few moments. “When?”

“As soon as I can, I promise.”

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I need to talk to you now Justin. What part of that don’t you get?”

Justin flinched on the other end. “Brian, believe me, if this wasn’t really, REALLY important, you know I’d be there.”

Brian actually growled. Michael and Emmett stepped away from him. “You said that already. What you haven’t said is exactly what IT is that you have to do that is so important,” Brian said in a low, threatening voice. He was getting very frustrate with Justin’s evasiveness.

Justin hesitated. “I can’t tell you.” He had to pull the phone from his ear when he heard a loud crackling sound on the other end. Fuck! Brian threw his cell.

 

***
 

Justin sighed deeply as he placed the phone down on the kitchen table and turned to Rena. “He’s having a tantrum.” They were just finishing up lunch. James had made a crabmeat soufflé that Justin would have appreciated more if his stomach were cooperating. Unfortunately he was too nervous to enjoy the delectable feast.

Rena laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, sweetie. Michael and Emmett are with him. If he does anything stupid, they’ll call us. I’m worried about you though. Are you sure you want to go through with this? Maybe you should go home and talk to Brian first.” Rena had sat up most the night with Justin going over their situation and their choices.

Rena knew her showdown with Brian was coming. She was ready for him. But Justin needed all the help he could get. Though the intervention didn’t go as expected, it did however, make an impact on Brian. Rena was sure of it. She knew her brother well enough to know he was affected by what happened last night. What she didn’t know was exactly how upset he was.

Brian shut her out completely last night after her little speech; she expected as much. What she didn’t expect was his little confession to Justin in the bedroom. Justin had told her about it. Brian broke down and told Justin how he “needed” the drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain. The fact that he admitted it was a big step forward, but knowing Brian, it was always one step forward, two steps back. Justin was more determined than ever to get his memory of prom night back. He told Rena that last night he discovered that a big part of Brian’s pain came from almost losing him, and the fear he might lose him again. It wasn’t so much that Brian refused to talk to Justin about the bashing; it was that he didn’t believe Justin could understand because he had no memory of it. Brian had once told Justin he wished he didn’t remember.

Brian was grateful that Justin had no memory of that night. He didn’t want Justin to go through the emotional pain of reliving that night. Brian preferred to carry that burden alone. He was too protective of Justin. Even if that meant protecting Justin from himself. That was why Justin refused to tell him what he was planning on doing. Brian would never allow Rena to hypnotize him, and Rena would not go against her brother’s wishes when it came to Justin. Justin had no choice but to do this behind Brian’s back. Once the deed was done, and Justin had his memory back, it would force them both to deal with it. It was the only way, Justin was convinced, and Rena agreed. His memory loss was a blocking mechanism the brain had initially put into place to protect Justin, but now it was preventing him from healing. Emotionally, Rena felt Justin was strong enough to recall that night, and physically, there was a good chance once that area of the brain was open, and healed, it would encourage other areas of the brain to heal, and rejuvenate. It was even possible that the motor skills in his hand would improve.

In addition to his physical and psychological problems caused by the memory loss, Justin still suffered from panic attacks. They did not go away as he was told they would, he just got good at hiding them from Brian. That wouldn’t last much longer though, they were escalating and sooner or later, Brian would catch him having one. It was in Rena’s best medical opinion that hypnosis was the best course of action to take. She confirmed this with colleges of hers over the past weeks when Justin had first asked her about it. The question was, was Justin ready for it?

“Rena, it’s now or never. I’m not putting this off any longer. Brian will be fine. Emmett and Michael will take care of him.”

“Ok, then, let’s get started. James, make sure we’re not disturbed.” She got up from the kitchen table and led Justin into her study.

Justin followed her on shaky legs. He’d never been so nervous in his life, or more determined. He took a long hard look at the thick wooden door to Rena’s study before passing through it. He took a deep breath as Rena shut the massive door behind him.

The study was large and surprisingly very understated. The furnishing was rustic country, not at all what he expected. Justin always viewed Rena as being more European aristocrat than bourgeoisie. Her personal style tended to reflect high society vogue, yet her study radiated a traditional modern country veneer. He had to admit though, the room was very comforting. The smell of cedar, the thick quilted cushions on the chairs, the plaid curtains, even the tall wooden bookcases packed with literally hundreds of medical journals were very soothing. He realized everything in the room was meant to “soothe.”

He knew Rena still retained a few of her clients when moving to the Pitts, he even knew one or two have visited her here already, but she never mentioned them. Being here in her “office” reminded Justin of the fact that Rena was still a practicing physician. Not the he didn’t trust Rena completely, he did, but he never really thought of her as a doctor. Rena was family. He thought of her as his big sister. Being reminded that she was a doctor, and a very good one, put him even more at ease.

She motioned for him to sit on the reclining chaise longue that was strategically placed opposite the large bay windows, which sported the most magnificent views of her garden.

Justin smiled and went and sat down on it.

Rena pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. She grabbed some pillows and placed them at the head of the chaise.

“Just lay back and relax Justin. “

Justin reclined back on the chaise and laid his head against the thick pillows.

“It is important that you keep in mind that you are perfectly safe. Hypnotherapy is a guided relaxation and concentration technique, which creates a new state of awareness for the subject. When you are in this state, you will be able to focus more on the areas I guide you to with out fear or trepidation. I can only guide you, I cannot force you to go anywhere in your mind you are not willing. That choice is yours. Understand?”

“Yes.”

Rena smiled and leaned over and kissed Justin on the cheek. “Ok, Sunshine, I have something for you focus on.” She pulled out Brian’s cowry shell bracelet and held it up in front of Justin’s eyes. He smiled.

She started talking to him softly as she twirled the bracelet slowly between her fingers.

Justin felt himself drift. Lethargy seeped into his mind, and ran through his limbs. Justin never felt so relaxed in his life. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he heard Rena talking. She was asking him something ….The prom…

 

***

Brian went into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of Evisa Jeans and grabbed his Maharishi hooded sweatshirt and threw it over his head. He sat on the bed slipped into pair of Puma McQueen trainers.

“HONEYCUTT!”

Emmett came running into the Master’s lair.

“You rang?” he said unwisely, teasing the tiger.

“We’re going out. Get ready.” He got up and looked around the bedroom for his watch.

Emmett stared wide-eyed at him. “You want me to go out with you? It’s just past one in the afternoon, Brian. Other than some local bars, all the clubs are closed!”

Brian fastened his watch and brushed pushed past Emmett. He headed for the kitchen. “I’m not going to a club, you idiot!” He turned around and gave Emmett a pointed look. “Was I the only one here last night?” He glared at Emmett before turning around to look on the kitchen counter. “Fuck,” he said when he didn’t find what he was looking for.

Emmett huffed.

“What’s going on?” Michael asked as he walked back into the kitchen area after replacing the “breakables” in the living room.

Brian went back into the bedroom.

“He’s going out, and he wants me to go with him! It’s too early for the clubs, which can only mean the baths, or some private club!”

“Michael, you got to talk him out of it, I’m not going to babysit him at the baths! You know I can’t be trusted there!”

Michael frowned and followed Brian into the bedroom. He was pulling open drawers, and pulling things out.

“Brian, you can’t do this. Not after last night. For God sakes, don’t do this.”

Brian looked up, an annoyed look on his face. “Mikey, I don’t have time for this. What the fuck are you talking about?” Brian asked and continued his search.

“I’m talking about you going out in the middle of the day to get drunk and your dick sucked! Are you that mad at Justin? Jesus, that kid don’t deserve this!”

Brian’s head snapped up. “Who the fuck said I was going out to get fucked up?” Brian left the bedroom again and went into the living room. He started pulling the pillows off of the couch.

Emmett was standing by the loft door with his ratty fur coat on, ready to leave, anxiety heavy in his features.

Michael followed Brian into the living room. “Brian, Brian, listen to me!”

Brian ignored him and went down on his hands and knees to look under the couch.

Michael automatically bent over and looked under the chair following Brian’s lead. “Wait, what the fuck am I looking for?”

“My fucking bracelet! I was sure I left it on the kitchen counter last night, but it’s not there.”

Michael got up from the floor. “Maybe Justin has it.”

Brian looked up at him. That was a distinct possibility. Knowing his blond, he would want something of Brian’s to make him feel close to him while he was away. He relaxed a bit.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. You’re welcome to come with us if you want.” He went to the closet and grabbed his coat and pulled his keys from the pocket.

Michael looked confused. “Where the fuck are you going in the middle of the day on a Sunday! Church?”

Brian smirked and put his tongue in his cheek, recognizing Michael’s sarcasm.

“Why, where any self respecting gay man would go in the middle of the day. Shopping of course. Emmett needs new clothes.”

Michael sighed a big sigh of relief and retrieved his coat from the closet. “You really are an asshole, you know that?” His best friend just scared the shit out of him.

Brian smiled.

“Yeah, so I’ve been told.”


 

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