Before There Was You, There Was You

Chapter 26

 “If you want a lover
I’ll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I’ll wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
I’m your man”
~ Leonard Cohen –“I’m your man.”


***

“Mr. Remington will be right out to see you,” said the woman behind the massive reception desk.

Justin smiled and thanked her. He stood in the lobby of Remington Pharmaceuticals and couldn’t help but be impressed. When Justin drove up to the imposing structure this afternoon he didn’t know what to expect. The place was a fortress. He spent 20 minutes at the front gate trying to gain entrance. He would have called first, but after the party last Tuesday, Justin doubted John would want to see him; so he decided just to drive to Remington’s and pay John a surprise visit.

The compound was huge and from what Justin could see housed three buildings. He was directed to the largest of them, which stood four stories tall. The structural design was contemporary. As an artist, Justin appreciated its esthetic design. The lobby’s interior was ultra modern, all polished steel, wood and tile. The furniture was mostly minimalist. Brian would love it. There was even a Barcelona chair in the lobby. Not surprisingly, very similar to the one in Brian’s loft. No, wait, “their” loft. Justin still wasn’t used to being part owners of the loft.

“Justin!” John called out as he rounded the corner to enter the lobby. Justin smiled at him and held his hand out.

“Good to see you again, John. I hope my stopping in unannounced isn’t too much of an imposition?” Justin asked as he shook John’s hand.

John patted Justin on the shoulder in a friendly “man to man” manner and smiled back.

“No, of course not! I just wished you would have called first, I would have cleared my schedule so we could have had lunch or something.”

“It was kind of a spur of the moment decision,” Justin confessed. “I’ve been known to act impulsively on occasion.” He smiled apologetically.

John laughed heartily. “Well you’re here now, let’s go to my office.” He led Justin down a long corridor. The walls were adorned with postage-sized paintings by postmodern artists.

“You’re a fan of Joy Garnett?” Justin asked

“Yeah, I love her documentary photos. I’ve got a few in my office, too.”

Justin was impressed.

They passed a small anteroom where a well-dressed elderly woman sat behind a desk. She rose from her seat to meet them.

“Lynn, this is Justin, Mr. Kinney’s partner,” John said in way of introduction.

Justin was surprised at John’s description. Brian’s partner. He wondered if he just assumed that, or if Brian told him they were partners.

“Very nice to meet you,” Justin said to the elderly woman.

“My pleasure! We just love Mr. Kinney around here! His campaign for our new line of drugs has been nothing short of brilliant!” she raved.

“That’s kind of you to say,” Justin said, not knowing really how to respond.

“Lynn, hold all my calls. I’ll be in a meeting with Justin for awhile,” John said then escorted Justin into his office.

Justin heard Lynn say, “Yes, sir,” before John closed the door behind them.

The office was big, and cluttered, which surprised Justin, considering the ultra sleek, clean look of the rest of his building. Journals were sprawled all over the big beautiful mahogany desk that sat in front of a glass pane wall that sported the most spectacular view. There were several abandoned coffee cups sitting on the small coffee tables that were strategically placed in front of several low armchairs, on the bookshelves, and even on the floor where he saw dozens of pillows scattered for sitting.

John went behind the desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of scotch and two glasses. “Please, have a seat,” John said, indicating a clean, comfortable looking chair.

“So, Justin, to what do I owe this pleasure?” he asked as he poured them both a shot glass size of the brown liquid. He handed one to Justin.

Justin took it and drank it down. He didn’t want to be rude. He didn’t come here to talk about John’s drinking. It was just after 3pm, on a Friday. How and when John drank was none of his business. Brian was his business. But he wasn’t here for Brian either.

“Thanks,” he said after downing the whiskey.

“Actually, John, I came for two reasons. First, I never got a chance to apologize.”

John looked at him oddly. “Apologize for what? Hell I should be apologizing to you! I came to the party drunk, was rude, and then threw up. You were kind to me, and then I ran out without even saying goodbye. I’m surprised Brian is still talking to me.”

That made two of them, Justin thought. Brian didn’t mention he had talked to John since the party.

“I never had a chance to thank you for helping me. Seriously, I’m sure Brian told you, it was a bad day for me. I am sorry if I ruined the party, or insulted you in anyway,” he said sincerely.

Justin shook his head. “No, no. You have nothing to apologize for! It must have been a very difficult day for you, and as for insulting me, it was me who insulted you.”

“What are you talking about, Justin? You helped me in the bathroom, you didn’t insult me.”

“When you first came in I was rude. I jumped to the wrong conclusion and I am very sorry for that. Brian considers you a friend. I would never be rude to one of Brian’s friends.”

“Justin, believe me, you were not rude. I was. But let’s not argue the point. I’m glad to have finally met you!” John said, smiling.

Justin returned the smile, a bit embarrassed. He had no idea what Brian told John about him. “Um, thanks, I think.” Justin said and laughed.

John laughed with him. “Don’t worry; Brian doesn’t talk much about his private life, as you know. But he did make it clear you were someone special to him.”

Justin blushed.

John liked Justin. He could see why Brian was attracted to the boy. He was very handsome and had a million-dollar smile. If he were straight, he’d have a hard time keeping the girls off of him. He didn’t envy Brian; the boy was bright, good looking and obviously came from a good family, considering his polished manner. Many gay affluent men would vie for this one’s attention.

Men were men. Gay or straight. Young, beautiful, intelligent lovers of good breeding were prizes to older successful men. His own brother was gay, from a good family and handsome. Wealthy gay businessmen were constantly courting Rob, despite his disability. Rob was deaf.

“Yes, well Brian is very special to me too.”

John nodded and offered Justin another drink. Justin politely declined. John put the bottle away, declining a second drink for himself.

“I’m also here to invite you to come to a small dinner party I’m having on Monday night,” Justin said.

Brian didn’t know yet, but he was planning on having Rena, Shane, James, Mikey and Ben over for dinner. He’d thought it would be nice to have John come as well. After all, Brian did bring him to meet the family, but circumstances screwed that up. He thought a small party with just immediate family to begin with, would be a good beginning. He would have invited Lindsey and Mel, but considering the way Mel was reacting to Rena at the party, he didn’t think it would be a good idea to have them over the first time John is properly introduced to the family. He wanted it to go as smoothly as possible.

Plus he thought it a good way to get over the “mishap” that John and Rena had in the bathroom. Whatever that was about. John was obviously upset that night. And Justin suspected a bit embarrassed by his behavior. But it was understandable. It was the anniversary of his wife’s death. He was lonely, depressed and Rena is a sexy desirable woman who has a way of making people feel comfortable. Maybe a little too comfortable in this instance. It was not surprising the incident occurred. The important thing was that they all get past it.

“A dinner party? Sounds like fun. I’m honored to be invited.”

“So, you’ll come?” Justin asked.

“Of course! Just tell me what time and where.”

“At the loft, say, six o’clock?”

“I’ll bring the wine! Red or white?” John asked.

Justin thought for moment. He hadn’t actually planned the menu yet.

“I think red. I haven’t made a beef wellington in a while.” Actually, he never made a beef wellington but always wanted to try it. He loved cooking. He found it very therapeutic.

“Then red it is!”

Justin rose to leave. “Sounds good. I look forward to seeing you Monday night.”

John came around from behind his desk to shake Justin’s hand. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry I took up so much of your time. I really should be going now,” Justin said shaking his hand back.

“I’m glad you came by. You’re welcome anytime. Next time I’ll give you a tour of the compound.”

“Thanks, I’d like that.”

“Great! Good to see you again, Justin.”

“You too. John.” Justin released his hand and turned to leave. He walked to the office door and opened it. He was about to walk out when it hit him. He turned around to face John, who was already behind his desk, reaching into the drawer Justin saw him take the bottle of whiskey out of earlier.

“So when should I expect your call?” Justin asked, his head tilted as he studied John.

John looked up surprised; not realizing Justin was still standing in his office.

“Call? What call?” he asked confused.

“The call where you apologize for not being able to come to the dinner on Monday because something unexpected came up?”

John blinked several times. Appreciation gleamed in his eyes. He leaned back in his chair and smiled at Justin. “I was wrong.”

Justin raised his brow in question.

“It’s not your youth or your good looks that Brian’s attracted to.”

“Then it must be my SAT scores,” Justin replied.

John laughed.

Justin walked back to John’s desk and stood in front of it.

John looked up at him. “Justin, you don’t understand,” he said, trying to explain what he couldn’t.

“I would never assume to.”

John sighed. “It’s just not a good time in my life right now. I don’t need any complications.” The truth was he couldn’t see Rena again. He couldn’t chance another encounter like that. He wasn’t ready for it.

“You know, John, you are a lot like Brian. Did he tell you how we met?”

“He told me a bit,” John replied, not wanting to violate any confidences.

“Well, he didn’t want any complications in his life either. In fact, he did every thing he could to avoid what was unavoidable. In the end, we couldn’t deny our fates.” Justin rested his hands on John’s desk and leaned in. “John, at some point, you’re going to have to face whatever it is you’re avoiding. And if that has something to do with Rena, I can tell you from experience, there is NO avoiding her!” Justin rolled his eyes. John laughed.

“Just come to dinner on Monday. Brian likes you. He considers you a friend. I’m sure you know how rare that is for Brian. Rena is his sister. Don’t you think you owe it to Brian to at least try to resolve whatever it is between you two?” Justin knew he was sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong. But hey, it wouldn’t be the first time.

John studied Justin for a moment. Kid had a point. His friendship with Brian meant a lot to him. When the fuck did he become so pathetic? Yes, he had a strong reaction to Rena. So? He had to deal with it. Justin was right. He couldn’t hide forever. In fact, he was getting sick of hiding. Hiding from his family, hiding from his pain, hiding from living again. No, it was time. Charlotte was gone. She was dead. He had a choice. Either join her and get it over with, or start living again. What he was doing the past five years was neither.

He stood up and faced Justin. Justin pushed away from the desk.

“I hate beef wellington,” he said.

“Rack of Lamb?” Justin asked.

John nodded. He pushed a button on his desk phone.

“Yes, Mr. Remington?” Lynn’s voice came over the intercom.

“Clear any plans I have for Monday night. I’m having dinner with friends.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Remington,” Lynn said, a little more enthusiastic than necessary.

Justin gave John one of his million dollar smiles and left the office. That went well he thought. Now all I have to do is convince Rena to come.

 

***
 

Justin sat at his computer desk working on his graphic art project. A sketchpad lay next to him where he outlined several drawings of the cartoon character Dondi. He was finishing up his thesis on the social impact of the newspaper comic strip when he heard Brian come in.

He looked up briefly, wondering what tonight’s mood would bring. He’d been “punishing” Justin since the party on Tuesday. Justin expected it. He knew Brian would resent Justin calling him on his drinking, even if Brian knew Justin was right. But Justin read the Kinney manual and knew that Brian’s first reaction would be to rebel, which is what he did the very next night.

On Wednesday night he came home from work and “informed” Justin he was going out. He didn’t get home till almost four in the morning, stinking of booze and sex. He got into bed with Justin without taking a shower. It was his way of telling Justin ‘I’ll drink as much as I want, and fuck as much as I want. It’s my life; I’ll live it as I want!’

He quickly fell asleep. Justin got up for work the next morning and never said a word to Brian. At the diner, he heard whispers of how the “stud” of Liberty Avenue was back. Justin had to bite his tongue. Though Brian didn’t trick in front of him, when Brian tricked, it became the talk of the town. Just his fucking luck he fell in love with the town’s sexual legend.

On Thursday, Brian came home from work early and stayed in. They ate a light dinner and watched some TV. The “drinking” subject never came up. Justin noticed however, that Brian had not had a drink all day. Lindsey came over that night with Gus and Brian enjoyed spending time with his son.

They went to bed around midnight. Brian fucked him. Again, punishing him. There was little tenderness in their union. Justin understood. Brian was communicating to Justin that his feelings belonged to him, and he controlled them, not Justin. He failed terribly though. In the end Brian gave in and pulled him in to lie against him when he thought Justin was asleep. Justin didn’t know when it started, but he knew Brian slept more soundly when he had Justin curled into him.

Brian was restless, distant and frustrated since the party and taking it out on Justin. Justin felt Brian’s edginess. Being in a relationship was difficult for him. Justin appreciated how hard he was trying. He had taken some big steps to prove to Justin that he was committed. Brian had always lived his life by his own rules. He always handled his problems on his own, and shut everyone else out. Now he had a partner to share his problems with and it disturbed him on several levels. First and foremost having to admit he had a problem to anyone was foreign to Brian. Though he didn’t say the words, he conceded that he did have a problem by not denying it to Justin.

Brian had to adjust to not being alone anymore. He had never had a partner before. Hell, he never had second fuck before. Being in a relationship was a big change for him. He was breaking away from his old lifestyle and doing it cold turkey. Justin knew what Brian needed, and if Brian would give him a chance, he would give it to him.

 

***
 

It was Friday, a little past eight and Brian was just getting home. Justin made dinner, not knowing what time, or if, Brian would come home. He made fish and spinach. In case Brian hadn’t eaten he could eat this without breaking his no carbs after seven rule.

“Hey,” Brian said as he took off his coat and put his briefcase down by the kitchen counter.

“Hey,” Justin said. “You hungry?”

Brian made a face, as if trying to decide.

“There is some fish and spinach in the oven if you like.”

Brian went to the oven and pulled out the dish. He sat at the counter and ate the fish.

“Not bad,” he muttered. Justin hid his smile and went back to work.

Brian finished his meal and put the dish in the sink. He went over to Justin and looked over his shoulder. “What are you working on?”

“My graphic arts class project.”

Brian picked up the sketches. “These are very good.”

“Thanks.”

Brian put the pad down and went into the bedroom. Justin heard the shower go on. A few minutes later Brian reappeared, naked from the chest up. He walked over to Justin and bent over to kiss his neck.

“Let’s take a shower. The King of Babylon contest is tonight. Remind you of anything?” Brian asked as he dipped his tongue into Justin’s ear.

Justin giggled as Brian tickled his ear with his tongue.

“I remember that crown being a cock magnet,” Justin said his tone heavy with mirth.

Brian turned him around in his chair and pulled him up, pressing against him.

“Oh, no, Sunshine, it wasn’t the crown. It was your hot bod slithering up and down that pole that drew those men to you,” Brian drawled seductively. “I want to watch you dance on that pole again tonight. You were so fucking hot,” he said as he pressed his hard cock against Justin’s.

“Mmm… I can dance all night on that,” Justin said seductively as he slid his cock up and down against Brian’s.

Brian reached into Justin’s pants and grabbed his cock. Justin gasped.

Brian chuckled deep in his throat. “You’re so fucking easy.”

“Lucky for you,” Justin teased and turned his head to kiss Brian.

Their tongues met passionately. Justin moaned into Brian’s mouth. He missed him these past few days. Brian walked them backwards towards the bedroom. They discarded their cloths and got into the shower.

Brian lathered Justin’s’ body, making sure to linger at all of Justin’s sensitive spots. He turned him around and pressed him into the glass wall. Justin let out a heated groan.

“I remember watching you fuck some guy up against the wall in the stairwell,” Brian whispered huskily in Justin’s ear from behind as he slid his hand up between Justin’s legs.

“I remember how hard I got watching you,” Brian said as he spread Justin’s cheeks wide.

Justin sucked his breath in at Brian’s words and his touch.

Brian slid a finger into Justin. Justin pushed back against him hungrily.

“Put your hands up over your head,” Brian directed.

Justin raised his hands up and flattened them against the glass shower wall.

“Now don’t move. Understand?”

Justin moaned in response.

“Answer me,” Brian demanded.

“I understand,” Justin whispered.

“Good boy.” Brian then slipped another finger into Justin. Justin pushed back against Brian again.

Brian reached up with his free hand and grabbed both of Justin’s wrists and held them firmly against the glass. He leaned in and bit Justin’s neck. Justin gasped at the sensation.

“I said don’t move,” Brian growled into his ear.

Justin was breathing heavily; his cock was pressed up against the shower wall. All Justin could think about was rubbing it against the steamy glass for relief, but he didn’t dare. He waited for Brian’s instructions.

Brian toyed with Justin. Sliding his fingers, one, two, and then three, in and out of Justin. Hot steamy water and soap aiding him in his sweet tortuous mission.

Justin was going to cum. There was no avoiding it. Brian was driving him nuts with his fingers. Brian felt it coming.

“Don’t,” he said then slid his fingers out of Justin and gently cupped his balls. He felt them tighten in his hand; he pulled them down gently causing Justin to hiss in pain.

“Shhh…” Brian rasped throatily.

Justin made a deep guttural sound in the back of his throat.

Brian chuckled. “You like that, don’t you?” he asked as he pulled a little harder on Justin’s balls.

Justin sucked in his breath. “Yess…”

“Tell me what you want,” Brian demanded, and then slipped his tongue into Justin’s ear. He had his wrists pinned up against the wall with one hand, and his balls held tightly in his other hand. Justin was imprisoned. Brian reveled in the feel of having Justin helpless and wanting.

“You,” Justin answered.

“You don’t get off that easily, Sunshine. Tell me what you want,” Brian demanded again and nipped at his neck.

“Fuck me.”

Brian made a “tsking.” sound. “You can do better than that,” he taunted.

Justin whimpered with desire. “I want you to fuck me hard.”

Brian licked the side of Justin’s neck where he left his mark. He released Justin’s balls and grabbed a condom. He held it to Justin’s mouth. Justin tore it open with his teeth.

“Put it on me,” Brian said as he released Justin’s wrists. Justin turned around shakily and took the condom from Brian. He slipped it on him, and met his eyes. They were dark with desire.

Brian grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him around and slammed him against the shower wall. Justin’s breath left his body at the impact.

Brian gave no quarter as he rammed himself into Justin. Justin cried out. Brian ran his hands down Justin’s arms and grabbed his wrists, he pulled them up over his head once more and pinned them against the glass.

“You want it hard, sonny boy?” Brian rasped.

Justin gritted his teeth. “YES,” he said, leaving no doubt in Brian’s mind. His boy liked it rough sometimes. Brian marveled at Justin’s sexuality. It rivaled his own. It was one area they never had problems in. It was their best form of communication.

Brian started fucking Justin hard. Licking and nipping at his sensitive skin with each thrust.

“Brian…” Justin moaned.

Brian responded by slamming into him harder.

“Tell me…” Justin rasped.

Brian wasn’t sure what Justin was asking for. Normally when they fucked like this Justin didn’t want to hear words of love. He wanted down and dirty sex. Brian grabbed Justin’s hair and pulled his head back to capture his mouth. Justin moaned deeply and kissed him hard.

“Tell me what you want,” Justin spoke into Brian’s mouth.

Brian pulled Justin’s head away and looked into his eyes. He smiled. He knew what Justin was doing. His boy always knew what he needed.

“I want to watch you fuck some hot guy while he’s sucking me off. I want to watch you get your cock sucked while I’m fucking your ass. I want to rim you while you fuck him.” Brian said, his lust running wild.

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes, his hunger matching his own. “Lets do it.”

Brian lost it. He bent his head and kissed Justin deep, and thoroughly. He reached down and stroked his cock while he slammed in and out of him. Their fucking was wild and rough and Justin loved every minute of it.

“Now!” Brian said and pushed Justin to his knees. Justin went down on all fours and gave into Brian’s thrusts. Brian grabbed Justin’s hips and pulled him up hard, burying his cock deep inside him. Justin yelled out and came. His body shook with the force of it.

Brian threw his head back and yelled out his orgasm as he followed Justin over the edge, his fingers digging into Justin’s sensitive skin leaving marks.

Spent, he fell over Justin. They collapsed on the shower’s tile floor. The water, cold now, relentlessly beat down on them, yet neither had the strength to move.

Brian reached up and shut the valve off. He panted heavily as he rose up, bringing Justin with him. They tumbled out of the stall and grabbed some towels. Brian took the towel away from Justin and started drying him off.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked as he dried Justin’s body, looking at the marks he left, concern heavy in his voice.

Justin thought he couldn’t love him anymore at that moment. But then again, Justin had many moments when he thought he couldn’t love Brian any more then he already did.

He reached up and brought Brian’s head down for a sweet, tender open mouth kiss, telling him how much he loved him, and how much he enjoyed having sex with him. Rough, tender, anyway he could get it.

He leaned back and looked into Brian’s eyes. A smile played on his lips.

“Let's go to Babylon,” Justin said.

Brian gave Justin one of his hot sexy smiles.

“Babylon it is then.”
 

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