Before There Was You, There Was You

Chapter 22

“My home is not a place, it is people” ~ Lois McMaster Bujold.


*****

 

“It suits you,” Rena said sitting in the passenger side of Brian’s corvette.

It was seven a.m. Rena wasn’t used to getting up so early, but today she didn’t mind so much. She was excited to begin her new life.

Shane had rented them a fabulous house. It was a six-bedroom Victorian with exquisite lush gardens, a fountain, pergola and separate carriage house which sat on fifteen acres.

The house had a master wing which accommodated a separate kitchen that was perfect for James. There was a fully equipped gym, which impressed Brian the most, and an atrium that Rena knew Justin would just die over.

Brian took him there last night before she arrived to make sure everything was readied. They both loved the house, but Justin had yet to see the atrium in the morning light. The luminosity of the room was amazing. It was the perfect place to paint. She couldn’t wait till he saw it in the daylight.

Shane told her the owners were thinking of selling it. She was already in love with the house, so she told Shane to jump on it.

Brian had dropped Justin off earlier this morning at the diner to work the breakfast shift before his first class. She was disappointed when Brian showed up at her door with out him. He joked about already losing her loyalty to his blonde. Rena scoffed and slapped him playfully.

She was however pleasantly surprised at how close she and Justin became in such a short period of time. There was a connection between them. It was more than the fact that they both loved Brian; they shared a comfortable friendship and security with each other.

“Hmm… Did you say something?” Brian asked distractedly.

“Your car, Bean? I said it suits you. Is your hearing going? I hear that happens with age,” Rena teased.

Brian smiled over at her. “This coming from a woman who is only one year younger than me? You know what they say, Re, women age faster than men.”

He stopped at a red light and looked over at her intently. “Are those tiny laugh lines I see around your eyes?” he asked, not able to hide his smirk.

“Ha! Laugh lines, my ass! I don’t look a day over 25 and you know it!” Rena huffed indignantly. Brian laughed. Rena was almost as vain as he was.

The light turned green and Brian put the car back in drive.

“I’ll admit, you don’t look your age. Did that plastic surgeon you were dating have anything to do with that?” Brian tactfully segued the new topic into the conversation.

Rena sighed. “What the fuck did Viv tell you?” she asked reluctantly.

Brian squinted his eyes at the morning sun and pushed back into his seat signifying he was not comfortable with what he was about to say.

“Just that you gave up a shot at love to come home,” Brian said in a tone that was far more casual than what he was feeling.

“Brian, Viv knows shit about my relationship with Sean. I dumped Sean because he wanted to get married and have kids.”

Brian looked over at her. “And you didn’t want to?”

Rena’s face went cold. She didn’t speak for a few minutes. Brian kept stealing glances at her.

“Well?” he prompted, wanting an answer.

“I turned down his marriage proposal because I couldn’t give him what he wanted.” She never looked over at Brian.

It took Brian all of thirty seconds to understand what Rena was saying. “Jesus Christ, Re! Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. And if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Brian knew that tone. Rena was not ready to discuss this with him. He was not going to let it go though; he would address it again at a later time. He couldn’t imagine how she must feel about not being able to have kids. Though they never discussed it, he suspected Rena wouldn’t have minded being a mother. She had a heart as big as a whale. She should be sainted just for taking in Shane! She was a lot like Justin in that way. Care givers. Always wanting to help those unfortunate souls who either didn’t deserve help, or were beyond help.

They rode in silence for awhile.

“Fuck it,” Brian finally said and reached over and grabbed Rena’s hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it.

Rena smiled sadly and squeezed his hand. “Yeah, fuck it.”

“Mikey calls this car boyfriend therapy,” Brian said, bringing some levity back into the conversation. “I bought it when Justin moved out.”

Rena laughed. “Boyfriend therapy! Well being a therapist myself, and knowing how fucked you are, I’d say you got away cheap with the car.” She laughed.

Brian shot her a threatening glare that just made Rena laugh harder. “Yeah, well “He’s” part of the reason I’m so fucked up!” Brian said jokingly.

Rena gave him a playful slap. “You’re so full of shit, Bean,” Rena chided lightheartedly. “You’re just frustrated over the fact that you can’t control something,” Rena said with insight. She knew her brother well.

There was some truth to that, Brian acknowledged to himself. Ever since Justin came into his life his world had been turned upside down.

Last night was a turning point in their relationship. Brian was a bit uncomfortable with it, but oddly enough, not in a bad way. He was just unsure of it; never having swam in these uncharted waters before. Andy was his first love. But he never expressed his love to Andy. It belonged to “him.” He was in control of it. He decided to keep it to himself. It was safe to love Andy. Andy never could love him back the way he loved him.

Justin loved him back. And Brian loved Justin in a way that scared the hell out of him. After Andy, he swore he would never love again. In truth he didn’t believe he could. But then Justin came along and all bets were off. Brian wasn’t a 13-year-old lovesick boy any more. He was a man, who looked at the world through cynical eyes that came from living a life filled with harsh realities and disappointments. He NEVER imagined that a young, very young, innocent “piece of blond boy ass” could challenge every belief he ever had about life and love.

From that first night he was hooked. The little shit knew it too. He wouldn’t give up no matter how many times Brian pushed him away. Each time he latched onto Brian, Brian would buck him off, but Justin would just get back on the wild mustang, which Brian was. Wild, untamed and unfettered. The boy took him on bravely, recklessly, knowing, or maybe not knowing, the danger he flirted with.

Ah, but the ride was worth it Brian thought. “Nothing worth having comes easy.” Those were Andy’s words to him, and Andy was never wrong. Easy, was not a word Brian would use to describe his and Justin’s relationship. Rena was right; it frustrated the hell out of him that he had no control over their relationship. He wondered, though, if given the chance, would he have it any other way?

 

*****
 

They pulled up in front of the diner. Brian got out and went around the car to open the door for Rena. She stepped out and looked up and down the street.

“Now I know where Viv found all her ex’s,” she said jokingly. Liberty Avenue was gay central. It was much like Chelsea in NY or WeHo in LA.

Brian laughed. “Welcome home, Sis.”

She sighed. “Please tell me you have “some” straight friends Brian. I’d like to get laid sometime this century,” she whined.

“Pft! Fucking straight people can’t be trusted. There are two types, the ones that hate you to your face, and the ones that hate you behind your back,” Brian said cynically.

“Hmm... Really? Which category do I fall into?” Rena asked dangerously.

“Family don’t count,” he declared, and then looked contrite for a moment; there were some good straight people, he knew. Cynthia was one. John Remington was another. John was the only straight male friend he had. John was different. He reminded himself to call him later.

“Actually, I do have one straight friend,” Brian said.

“Will wonders never cease,” Rena smirked. She looked at the diner. “Do you think he’ll recognize me?”

Brian looked her over. Seventeen years changed a lot. Rena looked particularly stunning today. Her long dark locks hung over her shoulders in silken curls. She wore a cashmere cream-colored turtleneck over dark linen trousers. Thigh high boots with spiked heels rode over her shapely legs. He had to admit, she knew how to put it together; next to his own, her sense of style was impeccable. Gone was the skinny runt, with the dirty knees. This was a confident woman who exuded a sensuality that rivaled his own. God, she was going to be trouble he thought. Mikey was going to be in for a surprise.

“Let’s find out,” he said and opened the diner door.

 

*****
 

“Michael, please stop fidgeting. She’ll be here soon,” Ben said soothingly to his partner.

Michael had dragged him to the diner this morning to meet Rena. He wouldn’t let Ben go to the gym, as was his normal routine. He was too nervous about Rena coming home. Ben understood his anxiety.

Michael told Ben all about Rena and their past. He was surprised that he kept it a secret for so long. But it explained a lot. Especially his close relationship with Brian. That was some experience the three of them shared at such a young age.

Ben was excited about meeting her as well. Rena Cardie had survived severe childhood trauma, and was still able to become a very accomplished doctor from all accounts. He looked her up on the Internet. She was a well-respected Genetic Behavioral Scientist and was courted to speak at some of the most prestigious universities in the world. He was impressed, Michael wasn’t. To him, she was just “little” Rena, his childhood friend who he formed a bond with that was still, from all evidence, very strong.

Justin walked over to the table and placed the plate of pancakes in front of Michael.

“Thanks,” Michael said. Things between them were still a little strained. Michael hadn’t had a chance to talk to Justin since he and Brian got back together. Michael made it clear to Justin how he felt about him hurting his best friend when they broke up. While everyone was sympathizing with Justin, Michael knew how hurt Brian was over Justin leaving him. And he was angry with him for hurting Brian. But he also knew that Brian loved Justin, and it was becoming clear, that their relationship was special.

Justin smiled knowingly at him. “She is just as nervous about seeing you again, too,” he assured Michael.

Michael smiled weakly up at him. “Thanks, Justin.” Even though Michael had been giving him shit, Justin was being nice to him.

Justin nodded and went back to work.

“Justin, wait.” Michael called out and got up from the booth. He approached Justin. “Can we talk for a minute?”

Justin looked around the diner. Everyone was served, he could spare a few minutes.

“Sure,” he said. “Hey, Deb, I’m taking five, ok?”

“Sure thing, Sunshine! I got it covered,” Debbie answered.

Justin led Michael out back. It was chilly this morning, neither had their coats.

“Bad idea,” Justin joked as he started rubbing his arms vigorously trying to get some warmth into them.

“Yeah.” Michael laughed, as he followed suit.

“Listen, I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry for giving you so much shit over Brian,” Michael began.

Justin laughed. “No you’re not, Michael.”

Michael looked stricken. But he couldn’t deny it. “You’re right. I’m not. Brian is like my brother; it hurts me when he’s hurt. And you hurt him, Justin.”

“I know, Michael, and I’m sorry. Brian is your best friend, you’ve always been loyal to him. And that’s ok. In fact, it’s better than ok. You stuck with Brian, when everyone else turned against him. Everyone always thinks Brian is the shit, and truth is, most of the time he is. But you know what? I fuck up sometimes as well. And leaving him the way I did was fucked,” Justin admitted.

He moved closer to Michael, so he could see the seriousness in his expression over what he was about to say next.

“Believe it or not, I was very pleased that you stood by him. I love him, Michael. More than you or anyone can imagine. I know it’s difficult for people to understand our relationship. Hell, it’s difficult for us to understand! But Brian and I are destined to be together, despite all the obstacles that are thrown in our path. We’ll always find our way back to each other,” Justin said with strong conviction.

Michael looked shocked. He always saw Justin as an obsessed, annoying twink who wouldn’t leave Brian alone. Even after Justin’s bashing, Michael thought Brian only let him stay with him out of guilt. He saw Justin as trouble and pain for Brian. But now, he realized, the boy, no, young man, in front of him was no twink. He was a man very much in love with his best friend. Only someone in love with Brian could understand and appreciate Michael’s loyalty to Brian. Justin and he always saw each other as threats. But now, there was an understanding being formed between the two. It wasn’t about who Brian loved, but who loved Brian. And they both did. There never should have been a wedge between them; there should have been a friendship.

“I don’t know what say, Justin, other than I was so wrong about you.” Michael’s eyes watered.

Justin smiled at him. “If it’s any consolation, I was wrong about you too. What you did for Brian when you were kids, well, that was love. Taking care of him, and his sister. I owe you, Michael. If you weren’t there for him back then, he might not be here for me now.”

“You know, Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Michael said quoting a line from Casablanca, in his best Bogart imitation.

Justin laughed and gave him a hug.

“Jesus fucking Christ, the apocalypse must be coming if you two are hugging!” Brian said standing behind them, holding the back door open.

Justin released Michael and looked at Brian. Brian stepped aside and Rena came walking out from behind him.

Michael let out an excited scream. “RENA!” He ran over to her.

Well, that answered that question, Brian thought. He recognized her.

Rena laughed and opened her arms wide to receive Michael. They were nearly the same height and Michael almost knocked her over. They stood there hugging and rocking back and forth. Michael lifted Rena off the ground and spun her. Rena was giddy. The scene was very touching. Of course Brian sighed in irritation over the whole display.

He walked over to Justin. “You’re freezing, why are you out here without a coat?” he chided as he wrapped his arms around Justin.

Justin was smiling; his eyes shone with emotion over Rena and Michael’s reunion.

“Don’t tell me you’re not affected by that!” Justin teased Brian.

“Please, they’re both acting like a couple of lesbians. In public no less.” He made a disapproving noise.

Justin laughed. It was not a good time to remind him of his own emotional reunion with his sister.

Brian took his Armani wool coat off and threw it around Justin’s shoulder. “Should I be worried? My best friend and my partner hugging? What the fuck was that all about?”

“Just mending fences. Michael and I had a conversation that was long overdue.”

“You should quit while you’re ahead. The next person you think you need to have a long over due conversation with might not take so kindly to it,” Brian teased.

“Come on, it’s too cold for you to be out here with out a jacket; lets go in.” Brian turned Justin towards the door.

“You think we can get past those two?” Justin asked, louder than necessary.

“They have to detach at some point, I suppose,” Brian drawled.

Rena pulled back from Michael, held his face in her hands, and gave him a big kiss on the mouth. Justin laughed. It was exactly like the kiss Brian gave Michael when he wanted him to shut up.

“God, I missed you, Mikey!” she said breathlessly.

“Welcome home, Rena!” Michael squealed.

“Come on you two, inside, it’s freezing out here,” Brian commanded.

They piled back into the diner.

Justin went behind the counter to help Debbie. “Sorry, Deb,” he said as he picked some plates up from the counter. “Did you meet Rena?” He asked.

“Sure did, Sunshine! She’s fucking gorgeous, isn’t she! Of course she is. All my kids are gorgeous!” Debbie was red with excitement. She went back around the counter to engulf Rena in another hug.

“Ummfpt…. Rena squeaked out as Debbie squeezed her in a big bear hug.

“Jesus, Deb, give the girl some air. You’ve attacked her twice now. She got it, you’re happy she’s here,” Brian said as he slid into the booth.

“Shut up, asshole,” Debbie shot at him. “You’ve kept this girl from me for too long! She’s got a lot of hugs coming.”

Rena laughed. She liked Debbie. She saw her a few times from a distance when she was a kid. She always liked her flamboyant look, and it was nice to see that her personality matched her style.

“Don’t mind him, Mrs. Novotny. He never did appreciate a good hug. Fortunately I do!” she said and hugged the woman back.

Debbie laughed and squeezed. “And enough of this Mrs. Novotny shit. I’m just plain old Deb.”

“Who makes the best lasagna in the world if my memory serves me right,” Rena declared.

Debbie put her hands to her chest and choked back some tears. “I can’t believe you remember my lasagna! Dear child, I wish I could have done more.” She was getting emotional.

“Deb, please, don’t. You did so much. Your son helped save my life. You raised him well. You should be very proud.” Rena said with all sincerity.

Michael was standing next to Deb. She looked at him then pinched his cheek. “Yeah, I’m pretty proud of this one.”

She sniffed back her tears and straightened her shoulders. “You’re too skinny girl, I’m going to get you a plate of pancakes,” Debbie said as she hurried off to place the order.

“Um, hello, what about me?” Brian barely croaked out when Justin showed up with a cup of coffee and a muffin. Brian smiled up at him.

“Thanks, Sunshine. If it were up to her I’d starve to death!” Brian carped.

Justin leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Oh you don’t ever have to worry about starving, Bri, you ingest enough protein to keep you going for a very long time,” he teased.

“Brat,” Brian said and playfully pushed him away.

“What time is your first class?” Brian asked.

“Not for another hour.” Justin hurried away when he heard the bell ring telling him that the next order was up .

Rena slid into the booth next to Brian and Michael slid in besides Ben. They were beaming. Brian snorted and took a sip of his coffee.

“Ben, THIS, is the famous Rena!” Michael made the introductions. Ben reached over to shake Rena’s hand. She ignored his hand. Instead she leaned over the table and gave him a big kiss on the mouth, just like the one she gave Michael outside.

“Nice to meet you handsome,” she said and winked at him before sitting back down next to Brian.

Ben was a little stunned, but pleased, with her greeting.

“Fuck, Bean, you never told me he was so hot!” Rena elbowed Brian lightly.

“Didn’t know you were interested in hot gay men, Sis,” Brian quipped.

“Um, I see the resemblance, Brian. She is definitely your sister!” Ben said.

Michael laughed. “Rena, what are you doing today? Come spend the day with me in my shop! We can catch up,” Michael said excitedly.

“She’s coming to the office with me today,” Brian announced. Michael's smile faded.

Rena huffed. “Come on, Bean! Let me go play in Mikey’s comic store! I’ll come by Kinnetik later. You had four phone calls from Ted this morning already. You’re going to be buried in work for awhile. I’ll stay with Mikey, this way you can work without having to entertain me. Besides, you know I’ll only cause trouble if I’m left to my own devices.” She smiled impishly at him.

Brian sighed. She was right. She would be bored at Kinnetik. He did have a lot of business to catch up on. And knowing Rena, she would undoubtedly cause trouble at work.

“Fine. I’ll call you later. You can go play with Mikey and Captain Astro. Just don’t be warping the poor boy’s mind with your “straight” fantasies about the good old Captain,” Brian warned.

Michael sucked his breath in. “Say it ain’t so, Rena!” He laughed.

“Hey, you have your fantasy, I have mine.”

“Who’s having fantasies about who?” Deb came over with a big plate of pancakes and placed it in front of Rena.

Rena wasted no time digging in. Brian scrunched his nose at her gluttonous display.

“Rena’s having sexual fantasies about Captain Astro, and apparently about blueberry pancakes. For God sakes, Rena, you’re not at the trough. Slow down.”

“Fuck you, Bean,” Rena said between a mouth full of pancakes. “I haven’t fucking eaten since yesterday afternoon.” She looked up at Deb, a soulful look in her eyes.

“He doesn’t feed me, Deb.” She sniffed for effect.

Michael and Ben laughed. Brian groaned.

“I’m not surprised. Look at him! Never eats himself. And he starves my poor Sunshine as well!” Deb accused.

Rena laughed. “Did I mention he beats me too?” Rena said all innocently.

Deb laughed. “Ok, child, there is only so much bullshit I can stand in one day.” She glared at Brian. “God, she is your sister, no mistaking that!” Deb said and leaned over and pinched Rena’s cheek affectionately. “Eat your pancakes and save the drama for the queen’s, honey. They love that shit,” she said as she went back to work.

Brian stuck his tongue out at Rena. “Got your number, doesn’t she.” He laughed. “Asshole,” Rena mumbled then went back to her pancakes.

“Ok, boys and girls. Some of us have to work for a living,” Brian said as he pushed Rena gently to get up so he could slide out of the booth.

“Mikey, I’ll call you later,” he said before leaning down to kiss Rena on the cheek.
 

“Behave,” he whispered to her.

He stood up and faced Ben. “Watch these two, Ben. They are hell together.”

“They’ll be fine, Brian. Don’t worry. I gave Michael strict orders. He’s not to go near a bottle of dye.” They all laughed. Michael told Ben about the time he attempted to dye Rena’s hair red and it turned green.

“Hey, I still owe you for that!” she threatened.

“No dye, Rena!” Brian ordered, laughing. “And don’t forget James is picking up a car for you today. I’ll call him and give him directions to the store.”

“Great, Mikey will get to meet him,” Rena said.

“You mean I’ll finally get to meet the mysterious James? I can’t believe he’s still with you, Rena,” Michael said.

“James is family, Michael,” Brian declared, giving no quarter for any disagreement.

Michael looked at Brian understanding. James was important to Rena, and that meant he was important to Brian.

“Of course, he’s been with her for seventeen years now,” Michael agreed.

Rena reached over and patted Michael’s hand. “You’ll love him, Mikey. He’s as hot as Ben,” she said and winked.

“Hey, don’t go liking him too much now!” Ben warned, teasingly.

Michael leaned over and kissed him. “As if I could!” he assured his partner.

Brian sighed and picked up his coat.

“Play nice now, kiddies,” he said and left the table. He stopped by the register to pay, and to talk to Justin. “Call my car service to take you to school. They have your name on my account.”

“I can take the bus,” Justin protested.

I know you can, but if you don’t take the car service, you’ll force me to interrupt work and come back to drive you myself. So do me this favor, ok?” He said then reached over to kiss Justin on the mouth before he could protest.

Justin moaned. “Ok, you win. I’ll call.”

“Good boy.” Brian kissed him again, put his coat on and walked to the door. He opened it then, turned back around again. “By the way,” he called to Justin. Justin looked up from the register.

“I have a surprise for you tonight,” he said and left the diner.

Justin watched him leave. A puzzled look crossed his face. A surprise from Brian Kinney? Hmmm…. Knowing Brian’s history when it came to “surprises’ for Justin, this could be very good, or very bad.

Justin crossed his fingers and went back to work.
 

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