DeAnna Zankich
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Summary: A gap filler for episode 21.
Warnings: None
Author Notes: To the professor from his pet fictionesse.
Spoilers: Some from Season One.One.
I would have told him no when he called if I wasn't so uncertain about when he's leaving for New York. I don't know how many more chances I'll have to see him. To touch him. But today, believe it or not, I'm kind of tired and not really in the mood for Brian's drama. When he's tense he can be a giant pain in my ass.
He pulls into Debbie's driveway and honks the Jeep's horn. I grab my bag, say bye to Vic and I'm out the door, jumping into the passenger seat like a good little boy. "Hey," I say too cheerfully, trying to get him to smile.
Surprising the shit out of me, he leans in and kisses me. Just a soft one on the lips but he smells so good and feels so good that I end up sighing and he grins about that. He loves how easy I am. Why wouldn't he? Unfortunately, it makes me wanna vomit.
As we drive back to his loft, I'm sort of afraid to ask if he's heard about the job at Kennedy & Collins yet. I figure he would tell me if he had, so I just chatter about other things while we drive. He's not very talkative, like I knew he wouldn't be, but that's okay. I can talk enough for both of us. Usually do.
At the loft, he lets me go in first and I plop by stuff on the floor by the couch. He's going through the mail as he walks over to the answering machine. It's blinking and I watch his face as he presses the button to listen to the messages. He's tense. Really, really tense. The lines in his brow are deeply visible as he fastforwards through four calls that AREN'T that Adam Lyons guy. He throws the mail on the desk and irritably shrugs off his leather jacket.
"When did they say they'd let you know?" I ask tentatively. Saying anything about this topic is risky and my shoulders raise to protect myself from possible assault.
"By today," he tells me. His voice is calm, but his entire body is taut like a guitar string.
"But you're still sure you're gonna get it, right?" I must be nuts. I can't believe I asked him another question!! Now, I'm really gonna get it. I actually cringe in anticipation.
He looks right at me and for a second I think I see a quick flash of uncertainty. But then he sets his jaw in that determined way of his. "I'm pretty sure, yeah. Look, I'm going to grab a shower. I'll just be a minute."
"Can I get on the internet?" I ask.
"Sure." He walks passed me and up to the bedroom, still frowning so hard I can see all the lines in his awesome face. Knowing him, he'll just get better looking every year older he gets. Brian's so beautiful; I can't imagine him ever loosing his looks.
I sit down at the computer and turn it on. He's got this really fast DSL connection, so I'm up in no time. From where I'm sitting, I can see him undressing by the closet. He's just chucking his clothes into the hamper, not even bothering to hang up his Donna Karan suit. He is SO fucking tense. Maybe the hot water will calm him down.
While he showers I get on Yahoo and search for Kennedy & Collins' corporate website. I just want to get their address and then I'm going to look for some apartments in NYC. The office is right in Midtown so Brian could really live anywhere he wanted. I find a few sites that break the neighborhoods down pretty clearly and start clicking on some of the thumbnails.
Fuck, these places are all so tiny! How do people live like that? And the rents!!!! I open a photo of one place that's less than 300 square feet and it rents for $1,800--A MONTH. I look around his loft at all the furniture and then look back at that place on the screen. Brian couldn't even fit his bed in that apartment.
He gets out of the shower and I stop looking at the computer long enough to watch him towel off. I love him wet--I love him dry--but his skin looks like polished gold when he's wet. I love the way he shakes his hair back and forth to dry it, like a big cat. A tiger, actually. Brian reminds me of a tiger. That red towel looks gorgeous on him and he tucks it around his waist as he walks over to me.
I act like I've been looking at the site and not watching him. I say something about how disgusting and expensive the places are in New York but he doesn't know I'm talking about New York at first. He makes some crack about me looking at hetero porn sites. As if.
He walks right up to the desk and starts playing with this patch of astro-turf grass his decorator put there. Brian touches everything. It's like he doesn't believe his eyes when he looks at stuff--he has to touch it to know what it feels like before he can be sure it's really there.
I clarify that I was looking at apartments in Manhattan and I reiterate how unbelievably expensive everything is. He tells me he'll be paid so much at his new job that he won't have to worry about the price of a good view. He doesn't say anything about the fact that I'm looking for apartments for him--that I'm trying to be supportive and help him out. He probably doesn't notice, but I'm trying to make up for having a complete fucking breakdown the other day and crying about him leaving--in front of him! God, I annoy the crap outta myself when I do stuff like that.
I start looking at some other apartments when his cell phone rings. He walks over to get it and turns away from me to take the call. I can hear his side of the conversation, but I can't tell who he's talking to--or what they're talking about.
"So, what's the deal?" he asks the caller. Then he moves a little further away and I can't really hear what he says anymore. He mumbles and he's keeping his voice low. I don't want to eavesdrop, but I can't help it. Whenever he talks, I just have to listen.
I hear him say something about deciding to go with someone else and I think he might be talking to one of the people who interviewed for a junior exec job in his office. His boss had him sit in on some of the interviews last week and Brian was full of stories about how green and eager they all were. I just look back at the screen and start clicking thumbnails again.
He hangs up the cell and tosses it on the kitchen table. Then, all of a sudden, he whips off the towel and starts rubbing his hair with it kinda hard. He's standing there naked and beautiful just attacking his hair with that towel. I'm a little worried for a second, like he might hurt himself, and then he stops. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, holding the air in his lungs while he stands there . . . still naked and still beautiful. He's always beautiful. His hair is sticking up every which way.
"Justin," he says so suddenly that I jump.
"Yeah?"
He looks at me with such piercing directness that it takes my breath away. He just DRILLS into my eyes with his. The look alone says what he means, but he uses the words anyway--just to make sure I don't have even the slightest chance to refuse him.
"Come to bed," he says.
I don't even bother to log off.
He's on the bed by the time I get up there and I start scrambling out of my clothes. For some reason, I'm a little scared of him right now, but I still cannot wait to touch him. He's lying on his back in the middle of the mattress, propped up with his elbows. He's just watching me, but he isn't smiling. Now he's both tense and upset and I can't figure out how he got there. I just know I want to make him feel better.
Once I'm naked, I crawl across the bed until I'm between his legs. I sit there on my knees for a second before I touch him--just looking in his eyes, trying to figure out what he wants me to do. Sometimes he wants me to lead and get everything going, and sometimes he just wants me to let him take me. I can't tell what he wants right now. He's just looking at me so intently. I have to do something, so I reach out and start petting his beautiful thighs. He sighs so I know I'm on the right track.
Spreading his legs to give me more room, he rests his head on the pillows behind him. "Give me a really slow blow job, okay?" he whispers.
I just smile and lick my lips. I love sucking his cock. I dream about sucking his cock. In those last two minutes before I die when my life flashes before my eyes, I know I'll have visions of sucking Brian Kinney's cock. I tickle his legs a little more and then bend over to put a kiss on that warm, clean, salty head. The skin there is so silky. I lick all the way around it very slowly, running the tip of my tongue into the slit then down the vein in back. He lets out a ragged breath as his dick swells and lengthens under my tongue. I steal a look at his face and smile to myself when I see his eyes slitted with lust. His fingers stroke my arms very gently, encouraging me to go on. I take the head into my mouth and nurse on it like a hungry baby.
While I'm sucking, I run my tongue down the sensitive bundle of nerves behind the head. This makes him moan and he spreads his gorgeous legs even wider. His fingers are in my hair now and I tilt my head forward enough to open my throat--then I swallow as much of his beautiful dick as I get manage. His pubic hair is still a little damp from his shower and it smells of that mild English soap he likes. The soft curls tickle my nose. I love the way his cock feels in my mouth--trembling and expanding, heating up with every stroke of my tongue. I can tell by the way he's moaning that he really needs to come. He might say he wants a slow blowjob, but his body has other plans.
Warm salty pre-come wets the back of my tongue and I slide back up to lick the slit again. I love the way he tastes and I love to look at his dick when it's really hard like it is now. For a second, I just stare at it, drinking it in with my eyes . . . so heavy and dark with pulsing blood. So hard and full of promise. With great reverence I devour it again until the head bumps the back of my throat. He murmurs my name that time and I know he's trancing out on the pleasure. He always talks when he's really horny. He says the dirtiest things, too. Now he's giving me directions on how he wants his whole shaft sucked, how he wants me to put my finger in his ass when he comes and how he wants to see his seed dripping off my lips.
Upon his instruction, I shift gears and start sucking as much of his erection as I can swallow in long, rhythmic strokes. His tight abs tremble and his legs lift up a little. He's groaning and trying to keep from fucking my face--which is never a good idea because I gag. His hips shake and I feel his dick get impossibly rigid and then he cries out and my mouth is flooded with come.
I don't swallow, I just hold all that warm cream in my mouth and keep sucking his dick gently, carrying him through is orgasm but not stimulating him so much that it becomes unpleasant. He's shaking and his fingers are sliding through my hair as his cock continues to erupt in my mouth. Four big, juicy blasts and then he looks down at me. I was waiting for that. I lock eyes with him then I raise my full mouth up to the tip of his dick and then open my lips just enough so his ejaculate spills down over his shuddering shaft. He groans at the sight and a dirty little smile tugs his lips. Brian likes body fluids--he likes the idea of them, the feeling of them on his skin. It's a kink of his and I'm workin' it for all its worth at that moment.
He keeps watching as his thick, white semen drips down his cock and puddles in his fluffy pubic hair. I lick his full cockhead very slowly, caressing it with my tongue, knowing how sensitive he is right then. All those nerve endings sparking and humming. I kiss the slit then lick it again, watching his face the whole time.
Finally, he collapses in a heap on the mattress and just lays there, breathing. He's flushed all over from his orgasm--his cheeks are red and a little patch of hot splotches dot the center of his chest. The visual confirmation that I made his blood rush like crazy makes me smile as I crawl up alongside him on the bed.
I lay there on my belly, trying not to rub my stiff, itching dick on the duvet. I just stare at him all dreamy-eyed as he's catching his breath. I know I'm being gushy, but I don't care. He's so gorgeous it's just wrong. He turns to me and smiles with his eyes half-closed.
"You give excellent head," he says.
I grin proudly. "I had a really good teacher."
He rolls over and reaches for the box of tissue on the night table behind me, pulling out a few sheets. He hands them to me and I understand that I'm meant to clean him. I give him a kiss and suck his swollen, hot lips while I wipe his seed off his skin. He gets up on top of me, straddling me and the wet tip of his dick touches my tummy while we kiss. I let the used tissue drop and reach for his heavy balls with my hand, cupping them gently in that way I know he likes. He moans his appreciation.
"Your turn," he says in my ear and I shiver all over from the vibration of his voice.
Brian kisses my ears and my neck in that way that drives me completely nuts. I'm moaning already and he hasn't even touched my dick yet. He licks his way to my nipples and sucks on them, grazing them with his teeth and circling them with his tongue. I love it when he sucks my nipples--I came from it once while we were laying on his couch watching a DVD. He just has a way of doing it that makes me feel like my whole body is being sucked instead of just those little nubs of flesh. I finger his wet hair and smooth it against his neck and then he keeps licking his way down my tummy to my dick. He bites the skin right below my navel and it tickles deliciously. He tells me he likes the hairs I have there--those really blonde hairs that lead the way to my pubes. He always bathes them with his tongue and rubs his nose against them.
My dick is twitching it's so hard and I'm having trouble breathing. I'm trying to control myself so I can enjoy him sucking me for a little while, but I know it's useless. My first orgasms with him are always really fast--even if I masturbate before I see him. There's just something about Brian that whips up my physical chemistry and makes everything work in overdrive.
He kisses my dick before he sucks it and then he kisses again after he gets it all wet in his mouth. I love the way he holds the shaft in his fist, curling his long fingers around it and squeezing it very gently while he sucks the tip. His mouth is perfect--absolutely MADE to suck dick. I watch him like my own personal porno and I just lay there and moan.
He says he loves my dick--says it's gorgeous. I don't know if he means that or if he's just plumping my ego so I'll be more uninhibited with him in bed. I love to hear him talk about it, though. I love the look he gets. Like he's describing the most succulent steak he's ever eaten. I can almost see his mouth watering.
He's taking his time, licking every inch of my cock, rubbing it, rolling my balls and teasing my thighs with his fingers. I'm impressed with myself because I'm holding out but I can feel the hot tingle of my orgasm collecting deep inside me. I hold my breath and just watch him, trying not to whimper because everything feels so good. His lips are dark and hot, his wet mouth feels like velvet stroking my cock and every time his tongue dances over the head I just quiver all over. My toes curl and my teeth knock together and then I feel the rush of the first contraction race through my body and out the end of my dick.
Like I always do with him, I'm yelling as I come and he's holding me down with his big hands around my hips so I don't flip all over the bed. His mouth never lets go of my cock.As the spasms slow down, I hear myself gasping and then I look down at him. Of course, his pretty hazel eyes are fixed on me, glinting with mischief and satisfaction.
My dick is still vibrating as he licks his way up my tummy again, leaning over me and giving me a hot, wet kiss. I suck his tongue and taste my semen there, still sighing from the draining exertion of my orgasm.
He settles down on top of me, tucking his arms around my sides and stretching his legs out on the bed. He never does this--it's cuddling. It makes me wonder if something's wrong. I pet his hair again and softly stroke his long, smooth back, running my fingers around his shoulder blades.
"You okay?" I ask him before I have time to think better of it.
"Uh huh," he says, his voice no more than a soft whisper. "Just shove me off if I get too heavy."
I smile and kiss the top of his head. "You feel great, Brian. I love it when you lay all over me."
He sighs and I feel a little more of his weight evenly distributed over my body. I don't know how he was doing it, but he was holding some of his weight back until then. Now I can feel all of him and it makes me tingle everywhere.
We just lie there for a while, breathing. I keep petting his back and playing with his hair, every once in a while stroking his earlobes between my fingers. Every time I do that, he shivers almost imperceptibly. He loves that. It's such an easy trigger with him. I go back and do it again, taking both of the velvety tabs of flesh in my fingers and very softly playing with them. After a few minutes of this, his breathing changes. He shifts on top of me and starts kissing my chest. I can feel his tongue swirling around my nipples and wetly tracing the shape of my pects. I slide my fingers into his still damp hair and gently scratch his scalp.
Brian raises up on his elbows and captures my bottom lip with his teeth. His cock is getting heavy again and he presses it into my belly while we kiss. I stroke his sides and his narrow, silky hips and he moans very softly.
"Do you want me inside you?" he purrs, like he has to ask.
"Are you kidding?" I say. "If I could, I'd ride around on your dick all day long, Brian. Just attached to you like an appendage."
He snickers and sits up on his knees. Reaching into the bowl on the bedside table, he plucks a condom packet and lays it on my chest. Next he grabs that ever-present tube of KY and flips the lid with his thumb. Instead of squeezing the cold slippery stuff right on my hole like he usually does, he presses a big drop of it into his hand and then rubs it around between his fingers to warm it. Watching me the whole time, he slowly spreads the lube all over my cock, stroking it and petting it, rolling his slick thumb over the head back and forth until I gasp from the intense sensation.
While he grins at me I feel his fingers slip around my balls and hold them for a second, like he's weighing them. Then he reaches below them for my hole, rubbing a smooth film of lube around my pucker very slowly. He adds more KY to his hand, warms it in the same fashion, then slips his middle finger up into me, stroking my hole and teasing it until I relax and sigh.
"Feel good?" he whispers.
I just nod and close my eyes. He knows I'm his. No point trying to hide it.
"Do you want me in there?" he asks, his long fingers rubbing me on the inside. I feel him touch my prostate and I bite my bottom lip.
"Yes . . ." I breath. "Please, Brian . . ."
He's smirking while he softly strokes his dick with his left hand, bringing it to full erection. "Then suit me up, baby."
I reach for the condom packet on my chest and tear it open, sliding out the little disc carefully. I know it's weird, but I love putting condoms on him. I love to hold his dick like that and stroke the slippery sheath of latex down the hard shaft. He always watches while I do it so I know he likes it, too. As much as I would love to be able to do him bareback, the condom ritual is really erotic and intimate for some reason. Maybe it's because I have to touch him so softly.
He slips his fingers out and then he lifts my legs up around his neck. He extends his legs behind him for leverage and then lifts my ass up by tilting forward, catching my knees on his shoulders. I love the way his arms look in that position. All the muscles stand out and ripple and they feel like smooth steel to the touch. I feel him guide his dick into place and the next thing I know, he's in.
We both groan and sigh and rock together as he pushes that beautiful cock all the way into me. He can't keep his eyes from closing, it feels so good, and he keeps licking his full, curvy lips. It's a good thing I'm limber because I need to kiss him so bad I can't stand it. I pull him down by the back of the neck. The tops of my thigh press my ribs under his weight and I feel a deep pulling sensation in my hamstrings. Who cares if I'm sore later. He's kissing me and fucking me at the same time and I couldn't be happier.
He moans and whispers to me about how much he loves being inside me, how hot I am, how good I feel. All the time he's stroking my cock with the slick fingers of his right hand. My body is humming and shuddering with pleasure and every long, deep plunge makes me growl with lust. We're both glassy-eyed and feral. This one is going to be quick.
I can't imagine what it will be like when he moves. I won't know where he is or what he's doing--or who. I try not to think about that as I'm feeding on his luscious mouth, almost crying from the pleasure he's giving me. He breaks the kiss only long enough to suck my nipples and that's about all I can take. I start coming all of a sudden and my dick explodes in his hand, soaking his fingers with slick, gooey come. I know my contractions are going to get him instantly and I feel him tremble on top of me as his own orgasm rips through him. It's so good . . . it's always so good with us. It isn't until we start slowing down that I realize I actually AM crying. My arms are pinned under his so I can't wipe my face. All I can do is hope he doesn't see that I have once again burst into tears over him.
He kisses my face, still groaning and gasping. I know he can taste the salt. And then his tongue dabs at a tear on my left cheek, drawing it into his mouth. He touches his forehead to mine and lets his cock slip out, slowly lowering my legs. I sniff, then when my hands are free I reach up to wipe at the tears.
"There's no reason to be sad, Justin," he tells me, his voice all hoarse and breathy.
"You're leaving me," I remind him.
Brian settles down on top of me again, arms tucking under my back, holding me close to his body. We breathe together and I pet his hair, not bothering to wipe the new tears. There isn't much point.
the end
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