The Only Exception (Lonely No More)

Chapter 12

“Where is he?” Blaine asked as Trent let him into the house.

Music and loud voices from further inside nearly drowned out Trent’s answer. Blaine had fond memories of Warblers parties, but didn’t really feel that he belonged here anymore.

“In the library pretending to be asleep,” Trent said as he led Blaine down the hallway away from the music. “He seems to think that if he pretends he can’t hear us, we’ll leave him alone.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t slip out the door when no one was looking,” Blaine said in exasperation. Until Jeff had called, he hadn’t known about the party at Trent’s. He was a little hurt that Sebastian hadn’t invited him, but then again, it didn’t sound like Sebastian was really in a celebratory mood.

“He came with Nick and Jeff,” Trent said, “grumbling the whole time, I might add.”

They reached the library door and Blaine shook his head as his gaze found Sebastian draped across an over-stuffed chair, head over one arm and legs hanging over the other.

“He’s all yours,” Trent said with a wink and then turned to walk back down the hall towards the party.

Blaine wondered what he was supposed to do now; wait for Sebastian to notice he wasn’t alone, wake him with a kiss or rant at someone who was most likely three sheets to the wind?

“You’re letting all the noise in,” Sebastian said without opening his eyes. At least, he didn’t appear to.

Blaine huffed a laugh before walking inside and closing the door behind him. “That never seems to bother you at Scandals,” he said as he took a seat in the chair across from Sebastian, the unlit fireplace between them.

“Only go there to pick up guys, not for the music,” Sebastian replied. “Nothing here worth pursuing.” He finally cracked an eye open. “At least, there wasn’t earlier.”

Blaine smiled wryly at the lame pickup line. “Why did you come if you didn’t want to hang out with the guys?”

“Niff kidnapped me and forced me to come,” Sebastian said with a long-suffering sigh. “They told my mother not to expect me back.” He paused melodramatically and looked towards the closed door as if to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard. “I think they’re planning some arcane ritual later that involves sacrificing a virgin. Nixon may not live to see the dawn.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “It’s just the pre-graduation party,” he said. Dalton would have an official graduation party after the event on Monday, but the Warblers always had their own the weekend before. “No human sacrifice involved, although a few of them may feel like they have been come morning when their heads feel like they’re about to explode.” Blaine had been one of those people a couple of years ago. He had never had much of a tolerance for alcohol and despite them all being underage, someone always managed to sneak some in.

“Just as well,” Sebastian said. “Someone will have to clean up after this mob. Difficult to do if he’s been sacrificed.”

Blaine shook his head in bemusement. Sebastian had a really twisted sense of humor at times. “Trent said you’d had a bit to drink and then crashed in here. He wasn’t sure if you were just faking so they’d leave you alone or really might have had too much.”

Sebastian turned his head to look at Blaine, but otherwise didn’t move. His expression was unreadable. “Nixon plans to major in Mother-henning. I think he should just go straight into an apprenticeship. He already has it down pat.”

“Friends worry about each other,” Blaine said with a sigh.

Sebastian turned his head towards the ceiling and closed his eyes again. “Is that why you’re here; because you’re worried about me?”

Blaine wanted to say ‘yes’, but didn’t think it would go over well. It wasn’t the whole reason though. “I haven’t seen you in a week,” he said softly. “I missed you.”

“Might as well get used to it now,” Sebastian said offhandedly. “Only another week until McKinley’s graduation and then…”

Blaine had to fight back the pain, but he understood now why Sebastian hadn’t called him. He had done the same thing with Kurt last year. It hadn’t worked then either. “We should try to make the best of it then, instead of avoiding each other.”

Sebastian opened his eyes, but stared at the ceiling as if the answer might be hidden there. “I’ve never cared before when I had to tell someone goodbye,” Sebastian said. “I’m not sure I know how.”

Blaine felt tears burn the back of his eyes. “Then we don’t say it,” Blaine replied, swallowing hard. “When the time comes, we say goodnight like we always do and walk away.”

Silence reigned for the next several minutes as both young men were lost in their own thoughts. Finally Sebastian dropped his feet to the floor and sat up. “Enough of this maudlin claptrap. I heard there’s a party around here somewhere.” He stalked over and pulled Blaine to his feet. “It’s our duty as hot, gay men to show these losers how it’s done.”

Blaine couldn’t help but laugh at Sebastian’s mercurial mood shift. “As long as that doesn’t involve a live porn show, I’m in.”

“Not an exhibitionist? I can work with that,” Sebastian replied with a half-smirk.

They both did their best not to think about the future as they joined the Warblers in their celebration. And for just a little while, they managed to forget.

 

~ * ~
 

Tina was rather surprised when Blaine joined her for lunch in the cafeteria. He hadn’t said much to her on the way back from their disastrous loss at Nationals. In fact, he hadn’t said much to her the whole week prior to that.

“Hey,” Blaine said softly as he took a seat across from her. “How’d your history final go this morning?”

It might just be small talk, but Tina would take what she could get. “Ok, I guess. I’m more worried about Calculus tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Blaine said. He picked at his food for a minute before finally taking a bite.

“I guess the whole school knows about Nationals,” Tina said. Not that she thought anyone except New Directions really cared.

Blaine nodded. “And that Principal Sylvester shut down the Glee club.”

“I’m sorry. About Nationals, I mean,” Tina said in a rush. “I shouldn’t have been such a diva about Marley getting a solo.”

“It’s not your fault,” Blaine said with another shrug. “Neither Sam nor I had our hearts in it. Marley and Jake they weren’t talking to each other. Unique and Ryder weren’t talking because of her catfishing him. It’s amazing that we even made it through the set list without screwing something up.”

Tina knew an olive branch when she saw one. “Things aren’t going well with you and Sebastian?” she asked. She tried to sound honestly concerned, though it was an effort. She really didn’t see the point of that relationship.

Blaine stabbed viciously at his mystery meat, but his tone was mild. “Are you really interested or do you just want to a reason to celebrate?”

Tina sucked in a sharp breath, not that she didn’t deserve Blaine’s anger. He usually hid it better though. “I haven’t been a very good friend, have I? I should have – I don’t know – been more understanding?”

Blaine gave her a steady look before shrugging. “That would have been nice. I would have liked someone to talk to.”

“If I promise not to say anything bitchy about Sebastian, can we talk now?” Tina asked nervously. It had dawned on her after Nationals that they’d all be going their separate ways soon and she didn’t want her friendship with Blaine to end with them at odds.

Blaine smiled slightly. “At least you didn’t call him ‘Slushy-Warbler’. I guess that’s an improvement.”

“I guess this is like last year, with Kurt, all over again,” Tina said in an attempt at being understanding. “I mean, after graduation you’ll be going in different directions and all.”

Blaine pushed his food around his plate without eating. “Except that I thought that Kurt and I would still be together even after he left. Once Sebastian and I leave Lima… it’s over.”

Tina tried to focus on the fact that Blaine was in pain, not on what she personally thought was for the best. She couldn’t keep from bringing Kurt up though. “I know that you’ve said you and Kurt are over, but you are still friends. Don’t you think that there might still be something left there worth saving?”

Blaine dropped his fork onto his plate and Tina thought she might have pushed too hard. He didn’t speak for a very long moment.

“I’m not the same person I was last year,” Blaine finally said. “Sebastian taught me that I need to do what’s best for me and not worry so much about making everyone else happy first."

Tina was rather taken aback. “I thought you and Kurt were happy together. You weren’t?”

Blaine shook his head and sighed. “It’s not that we weren’t happy together. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. It’s just… it’s like going to New York. That’s all Kurt. I never gave a lot of thought to what I wanted until after we broke up. It was always about him.”

“You don’t want to go to New York?” Tina asked, confused.

Blaine kind of hunched his shoulders as if, even now, he was worried that he was being judged. “I wanted to go to LA, but I didn’t get into school there.”

Tina started to ask why she was just now hearing about this and then realized with a pang of regret exactly why she hadn’t. “Where is Sebastian going to school?” she asked. She couldn’t help but wonder if that was why Blaine had a sudden interest in LA.

“I don’t know,” Blaine said. “We don’t really talk about the future. He’s going to Paris with his mother for the summer, but after that…” he shrugged. “I wanted to go to LA for me.”

“You can always move to LA after you graduate,” Tina offered. “And you have friends in New York, so that should make it a little easier, right?”

“You mean, Kurt is in New York,” Blaine said. He sounded more tired than upset.

“I always thought that you and Kurt were the perfect couple,” she said. “It makes we wonder what hope there is for the rest of us if even you two can’t stay together.”

Blaine cocked his head to one side and gave Tina a contemplative look. “Do you still think about you and Mike getting back together?”

Tina tensed. “Why? What did he say?”

“Just that you had talked, but that he didn’t think it was a good idea to get back together right now,” Blaine said.

Tina wished she had some mystery meat to stab and wondered briefly if she could borrow Blaine’s since he didn’t seem inclined to eat it. “He said that we’ve ‘grown apart’,” Tina said, making quote marks in the air. “What does that even mean?”

Blaine either didn’t have an answer for her or was too nice to voice it.

“It means that he’s met someone else and has no interest in ‘been there, done that’,” Kitty said, sliding into the seat next to Blaine. She pointed her fork at Tina. “You need to pack your bags and move on, girlfriend. Find some new guy that will put your ex to shame and say to hell with the one that dumped you.”

Tina was furious that Kitty had interrupted the first civil conversation she’d had with Blaine in weeks. “I’m not taking relationship advice from someone who thought dating Noah Puckerman was a good idea.”

“Dating Puck was a very bad idea,” Kitty purred, with the emphasis on ‘bad’, “and I enjoyed every minute of it.”

“That is so wrong,” Tina said.

“And pining after a gay guy for half the year isn’t?” Kitty said, unruffled.

“I’ve already apologized for that,” Tina said. She hated how Kitty turned everything anyone did or said around and put it in the worst possible light. “Blaine understands. I just missed Mike and didn’t have anyone else at the time.”

“So what’s changed?” Kitty asked. “Sounds like you still miss the ex and still don’t have anyone else.”

Blaine looked decidedly uncomfortable, but Tina wasn’t sure how to get the conversation turned around. “At least I’m moving on. You’ll still be stuck here next year. If you’re lucky, Marley might finally kick Jake to the curb and you’ll get your chance to be his sloppy seconds.”

Kitty grinned maliciously. “Once I get my claws into him, he won’t have any interest in any other girl.”

“Your name fits you,” Tina said. “You have the morals of an alley cat.”

“Morality is highly overrated,” Kitty said without losing her grin. Tina longed to smack it off her face.

“I need to study for my next exam,” Blaine said in a rush as he stood and made his escape.

“See what you’ve done now?” Tina said in a huff. She and Blaine had actually been making progress in patching up their friendship. She’d managed to keep her opinions to herself and not criticize Sebastian for most of the conversation. Now, thanks to Kitty, he was probably scarred for life.

“Good, now we can have a little girl talk,” Kitty said. She slid over into Blaine’s seat so that she and Tina were across from each other.

“What would we have to talk about?” Tina asked warily.

“Call me an incurable romantic, so I’m going to give you a little free advice,” Kitty said with a dreamy smile. “You need to get you head out of your ass and realize that Blaine is in-love with that Warbler-boy of his.”

“He’s never said that,” Tina said, narrowing her eyes. Just who did Kitty think she was? “He loves Kurt. They’re just having a rough spell, but that will change once Blaine goes to New York.”

“Even if I thought that was remotely possible, and I don’t, Blaine and Kurt getting back together doesn’t mean that you and Mike will,” Kitty said.

“I know that,” Tina said, but she felt a little queasy inside.

“And if Blaine and Kurt never get together, that doesn’t mean that someday Mike won’t reconsider and want to try again with you, though I think he’d be an idiot if he did,” Kitty said.

Tina swallowed hard. How had Kitty figured out her secret thoughts? She kept hoping that, since Mike and Blaine were friends, if Blaine and Kurt got back together, Mike would see that his high school sweetheart was the perfect one for him. But if Blaine and Kurt couldn’t keep it together, what hope did she have for her and Mike?

“As if I’d want him back,” Tina said. She hated that her voice shook slightly.

“We all know that I’m no poster child for BFFs, but even I can see that Blaine needs someone to cry with him over this Warbler of his, not tell him that the pain will all magically go away if he jumps in bed with his ex as soon as he hits New York.”

“I never said that,” Tina gasped. She had a sinking feeling that that was exactly the impression she had been giving though.

Kitty grinned triumphantly, as if she could read Tina’s innermost thoughts. “Personally, Blaine and Warbler-boy were so sickly sweet at the prom that I could feel a cavity coming on. It’s too bad that Warbler-boy chickened out on that song he was supposed to sing at the end. Or maybe he was just too horny to wait around that long.”

“Wait? What are you talking about?” Tina asked in total confusion.

“That last song that Brittany sang – that was supposed to have been Warbler-boy as a surprise for your gay-BFF.” Kitty frowned slightly. “Brit said something about her cat being disappointed by the pretty bird.” Kitty shook her head as she stood up. “And she made it into MIT…”

Tina watched Kitty flounce off completely befuddled. She wondered if all blond cheerleaders were that confusing.

 

~ * ~
 

Blaine stared at the picture of him and Sebastian at the Warbler’s party with tears in his eyes. He’d known that it wouldn’t be easy to end things when the time came, but he hadn’t expected it to feel like someone was tearing his heart out a piece at a time. He’d never felt this helpless. There wasn’t anyone to blame, no appeals to be made, no hope of reconciliation.

“Sweetheart, it’s almost time to go. You don’t want to be late for your own graduation.”

Blaine looked up at his mother without really seeing her. It took him a moment to realize what she had said. “Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute.”

Instead of leaving, his mother walked in and picked up the picture that Blaine had spent the past half-hour staring at. “He’s a handsome one. You look good together.”

“We did,” Blaine said.

His mother put the picture down and sat on the edge of the bed next to Blaine. “You look more like someone going to the gallows than his high school graduation.”

Blaine knew he would have to put his façade back in place before he left his room, but he didn’t have the energy at the moment. “I feel like I’m losing more than I’m gaining.”

“Life is full of losses, unfortunately. We can only hope that something better is waiting down the road and we don’t miss it because we’re too busy wallowing in the past,” his mother said gently.

“What if there isn’t anything better? What if fate is just playing one big joke on all of us?” Blaine said morosely.

“Tell me one thing that you have control over that you would change, right now, if you could,” his mother said.

“I don’t have control over anything,” Blaine said. “I can’t make CalArts accept me. I can’t turn New York into LA. I can’t make Sebastian go to New York just because I’m going there. I can’t turn Cooper into a reasonable human being that I won’t feel like throttling after a week of living together.”

His mother laughed a bit at the last comment. “I agree about Cooper and Sebastian. But there is no reason that you can’t keep trying to get into a music program in LA. It doesn’t have to be CalArts, does it? Surely there are other schools that have decent music programs.”

“But I’ve been accepted at NYADA. Wouldn’t it be irresponsible to throw away a position in one school just because I’d rather live somewhere else? I mean, LA will still be there when I graduate.”

“Would it really hurt to take a year off before starting college?” his mother asked. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find a job so that you don’t turn into a complete beach bum.”

Blaine looked at his mom as if unsure whether she was really serious or not. “What would dad say?”

“Oh, I can handle your father. We just won’t tell him until you’re on the other side of the country,” his mother said in a conspiratorial whisper.

Blaine couldn’t help but laugh. His mother never ceased to surprise him. “Maybe I’ll just see how this summer goes first. I may hate it in LA.”

“Just so you know what all your options are,” his mother said.

“Hey, Squirt, you better get a move on before Dad leaves without you,” Cooper said breathlessly from the doorway. He must have run up the stairs. “You’re not wearing that, are you? I thought you and Kurt had broken up.”

“Go tell your father that we’ll be right down,” their mother said to Cooper.

“I’ll remind your father that you’re driving yourself,” his mother said to Blaine once Cooper had disappeared. “I’m sure you have plans for afterwards that don’t involve hanging out with the ‘rents.”

“I’m not sure,” Blaine said. He hadn’t made any plans and he didn’t really feel like partying.

“Well, tonight is yours. I won’t hold you to a curfew, but I do expect you to behave responsibly.”

Blaine gave his mother a hug. “Thanks, Mom. You’re the best.”

Blaine checked his reflection in the mirror and made sure his façade was firmly in place before following his mother down the stairs.

 

~ * ~
 

Blaine tried to hold back the tears, but they continued to seep out to soak the pillow underneath his head. He had no idea when Sebastian was leaving for Paris; he’d been afraid to ask, but he had a feeling this would be the last time they were together. They were in the same hotel room that they’d had after the prom and checkout was at noon. A few more hours and they’d go their separate ways.

Sebastian stirred slightly, but settled back into sleep curled against Blaine’s back as usual.

Blaine didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to hold on to every minute he had left with Sebastian, not miss a single one. He had told Sebastian that they wouldn’t say goodbye, just act like they normally did, but he didn’t know how he was going to walk away knowing this time was for good.

“We could run away and join the circus,” Sebastian said, breathing softly on Blaine’s shoulder. “I could be a lion tamer and you could be a trapeze artist.”

Blaine chuckled at the image, despite the tears. “You just want to see me in tights.”

“Busted,” Sebastian replied. “How about all decked out in top hat and tails as the ring master?”

“That would be you,” Blaine replied. “You look quite dashing dressed to the nines.”

“Told you I looked good in a tux,” Sebastian said smugly.

“We could go to Alaska and become gold prospectors,” Blaine suggested, trying to think of the most outrageous thing he could.

Sebastian shifted closer. “All that digging would ruin my manicure. How about entertainers on a cruise ship? I could be a magician and you could be my beautiful assistant.”

“Do you know any magic tricks?” Blaine asked, amused despite himself.

“I’m sure I could learn,” Sebastian replied.

“Why do all your fantasies have me wearing skintight or skimpy clothes?” Blaine asked.

“Hmm, not all of them. My best fantasies have you wearing nothing at all,” Sebastian said.

“The only profession that allows that is porn star,” Blaine said dryly.

“Hey, there’s an idea. We could set up a web cam and charge people to watch us have sex,” Sebastian said. “I bet we’d be millionaires in less than a year.”

“They do say you should do what you love for a living,” Blaine replied with a chuckle.

“It’s settled then. We just have to think of names for ourselves,” Sebastian said.

They spent the next hour coming up with ridiculous names for themselves and then ‘practiced’ for their new profession. Finally exhausted, Blaine fell asleep wrapped in his lover’s arms.

The next morning, Blaine awoke alone. The note propped against Blaine’s phone simply read, ‘I couldn’t watch while you walked away. Listening to Daylight by Maroon 5 as I leave.’

Blaine pulled up Youtube on his cell phone and found the song Sebastian mentioned. As he listened, tears poured into the pillow that still smelled of his lost lover.

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