Spin and Fall

Chapter 8

Justin was excited to see he had an e-mail from his boss. He had been pretty pleased with his own efforts. He was tired, having literally slept only about forty minutes the previous night before his nightmare started, but he was anxious to read Brian’s response to their first project together.

It was interesting that he should have nightmares here, in Seattle, because he had not had any at all while he was in Pittsburgh. Hopefully that was how it always would be…

Everything in his apartment reminded him of Aidan. He kept thinking about the way sex had felt Saturday night when he had believed they were making love for the first of many times and how much he had yearned at that point to be able to give Aidan what he wanted; to open himself for his sweet invasion, to receive as well as to give and how that desire had triggered the nightly visit of his nemesis.

He opened the e-mail.

Justin,

Not bad. Please find comments attached.

I feel comfortable not reviewing the panels after you apply the corrections suggested. Go ahead and digitize.

Ideally, I would like to have the final panels Thursday morning, as I will be presenting the campaign on Friday, late afternoon.

This ridiculous time frame is self-imposed so I can book two presentations in the same business trip. You will find our deadlines to be ordinarily extremely reasonable, as we like our artists to feel they have the time to do things right.

Mikey and Ben looked awfully nice, though Mikey is as likely to run for exercise as to run for president.

On a happy note, one of my ad execs thinks gay men recognize each other through a special handshake. What do you think?

Insomnia is a bitch. I find three blow jobs and a fuck to be fairly good medicine myself. That’s a lot of hand shaking though.

Brian.


Not bad?? NOT BAD? Well fuck! What an asshole!

Justin opened the comments and was floored by the quantity of changes requested. Adrenaline coursing through his body, he was suddenly wide-awake. He started reading the comments. Oh. Hmm…

Pretty soon, he had the panels up and was making the changes and had to admit that they significantly improved his work. Shit. Kinney was not an asshole. He was a master at his craft. Working with him was going to be challenging, stimulating and in a word: Fun. Justin had totally made the right decision taking this job.

Two hours later he was done. He was flattered that Brian trusted him enough to not review the changes and decided to work on the digitizing after his appointment with his thesis review committee. He should be able to do all 16 panels by Thursday morning. Since this time crunch was, according to Brian, not to be repeated, he would do everything in his power to make it happen for him this time.

He cracked up at Kinney’s recipe against insomnia. He looked at the time and thought, “Why the fuck not?” He dressed for success and went to Purr. He asked Matt, the bartender, if Eric was in his office. He had not fucked him in a while because he was getting awfully clingy and demanding, but he was a great fuck and Justin was leaving Seattle behind in four days, so…

It seemed that Eric was wrapping his arms around him less than thirty seconds later. They went back up to the office, where Eric blew him. He was not great, but good enough to make him come. Then they went back to Eric’s apartment and Justin fucked him in as many positions as he could think of. Eric was very nice looking, his mother white, his father Chinese. He had pale golden skin and glossy, long, straight black hair gathered in a ponytail. His body was nearly hairless and his nipples almost black. After the fifth round, they showered and went to sleep.

Justin did not dream. He woke up to the smell of coffee and remembered that sadly Eric didn’t like to fuck in the morning. Justin wasn’t about to waste his nice morning wood and jerked off. It wasn’t his fault that he came with Aidan’s name on his lips. It just happened… And that Eric walked in at that moment was just one of those things.

 

*****
 

Ted drove home from work listening to The Marriage of Figaro, Blake’s favorite opera. Blake was cooking dinner tonight, as payment for his bet. Ted chuckled to himself. On a whim, he drove to Mon Aimee Chocolate on Penn Avenue, parked in a spot right in front of the store and got a ¼ pound of candied orange peel dipped in dark chocolate and three dark chocolates with cayenne pepper, both favorites of Blake’s, for after dinner. Then he made his way home.

The house smelled wonderful. Blake was making one of Ted’s favorites, breast of chicken in white wine with mushrooms. He was softly singing Verdi’s La Donna e Mobile to himself as he cooked. Ted adored his slightly veiled tenor, but Blake was too self-conscious to sing around him, so Ted held up on making his presence known, enjoying his lover’s voice.

After dinner, Ted helped Blake with the dishes despite the bet, because he’d much rather be in the kitchen working with him than out in the living room, relaxing without.

“I brought you a treat from Mon Aimee. Do you want tea or coffee?” asked Ted

“Did you get those cayenne pepper ones?”

“Yes, and the orange peel…”

“Hmm. I’ll have the decaf Earl Grey. What did you want to talk about?”

Ted chuckled. Blake knew him well. It was true that he often plied him with chocolate when he had something on his mind he wanted to share…

“Let’s sit down. I’ll tell you all about it.”

Their couch was perfect. They sat leaning on the arms, their feet and legs mingling in the middle, often with a stocking foot on each other’s crotch.

“It’s completely none of my business, except for the fact that it involves friends, a new one and, I am starting to think, possibly an old friend as well.”

Blake nodded, taking a small bite of one of his chocolates.

“It’s Justin. A month and a half ago, he met this businessman, Aidan, who was in Seattle for work. They spent the weekend together, enjoyed each other’s company and had really great sex. And as he makes sure everyone knows, Justin is a top, a top only. Aidan bottomed really happily. They had no plans to see each other again, but when Aidan contacted Justin to say he was going to be in town again, Justin invited him to stay at his apartment.”

“So he really likes this man and obviously the man really likes him, more so than either admitted at their first meeting?”

“Exactly. Once again they really enjoyed each other’s company, but this time, Aidan mentioned he would like to top as well. For whatever reason, Justin can’t bottom. Not just won’t, or doesn’t want to, but can’t. I didn’t ask why, just took his word for it. They invited a trick to have a threesome, so Aidan could top and Justin realized the man is not even versatile. He is a power top. Justin felt that was an insurmountable problem, but Aidan told him that it was more important for him to be with Justin than to top.”

“Wow. That’s pretty telling. That’s not a small sacrifice, even if the sex is great.”

“Right. But that night, Justin couldn’t sleep and snooped into Aidan's photos on his laptop. There he saw a pretty lady with a wedding band, a young boy and a brand new baby. It broke his heart. He didn’t mention it to Aidan, but has changed his e-mail address and is moving here, determined to put the whole thing behind him. He felt the new baby really showed Aidan had made the choice to lead a straight life.”

“Well, that would be the obvious explanation…”

“Right. Now comes the weird part. Bear with me because… well it’s all speculation, but the circumstantial evidence is getting a bit overwhelming…”

“OK.”

“A month and a half ago, Brian went to Seattle for an unplanned business trip. He stayed in a hotel and came back with a signed contract. Before he left, he was… vicious, really. Just nasty, and extremely unhappy. He came back relaxed and easy going. Amber worked with him on the campaign and was due to go to Seattle to present it. At the last minute, she stayed home because her daughter had a birthday and Brian went instead. He didn’t book a hotel, but stayed with friends. He came back… just a different man. Friendly. Happy. During a conversation where I mentioned I had happily bottomed in the past, he said, with a smile, “Like I haven’t…” “

“Wow. Brian? Brian fucking Kinney admitted to you that he has bottomed happily before?”

“Yes.” Ted chuckled. “I thought I was hearing things. Anyway, Sunday night, as I was driving him to the airport, Justin described Aidan for me: Tall, lean, dark hair, hazel eyes, very handsome, 9 ¼ inch cock. Getting in the car when I picked him up from his weekend in Canada, Brian detected the scent of Justin’s cologne and said with a smile he’d once been in a bath with the same fragrance. He offered me a drink at the loft where we had an actual conversation, where he mentioned he wanted to be free to grow up, to have a relationship with someone and where he also showed me the latest pictures from Canada. A beautiful woman with a wedding band, a young boy, and a brand new baby…”

“Holy crap!”

“But I didn’t put it all together until today. I needed a copy of Brian’s social security card for our new intellectual property protection program. Contrary to common belief, his full name is not Brian Fucking Kinney…”

“Don’t tell me: Brian Aidan Kinney.”

“Bingo!”

They looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

“But wait, he just hired Justin. Surely he’d recognize the name! Or did Justin use a middle name when he introduced himself to Brian as well?”

“No. In Seattle, he went by JT, but he was not fond of it,” Ted explained. “Also, Brian is under the impression Justin is from Denver, which he is, originally, but Brian doesn’t know Justin has spent the last 5 years in Seattle.”

“Oh, my…”

“Brian is going back to Seattle this weekend,” Ted added. “I am dropping him off for a 3:30 flight and picking Justin up from his 3:00 o’clock arrival. Same plane, obviously.”

“So,” Blake recapitulated, “we think Brian is going to Seattle to see the man he wants a relationship with, the man he cares about enough that he is willing to bottom for him forever, and Justin in turn, is arriving from Seattle, running away from a man he has fallen for but who is not available because he is married with children. And they are supposed to meet for the first time on Monday, at Kinnetik.”

“But…” said Ted, playing devil’s advocate, “Brian is the penultimate top, though he may very occasionally bottom, and he could have met a man in Pittsburgh or Toronto that he wants a relationship with. He could be going to Seattle strictly for business and have friends from Tepper’s MBA program with whom he stays… And Justin’s Aidan could be from Buffalo where he goes back to a happy hetero family.”

“Would you like my opinion?” asked Blake, who had a personal dislike of people spouting unwanted advice.

Ted looked at him and smiled. Early in the last chapter of their tumultuous relationship, when he had been searching for reasons not to ask Blake to move in with him, he had tried to list all the things he disliked about him. He’d ended up instead thinking of all the small things that made Blake the man he was, the man Ted loved, and had asked him to move in the next day.

The fact that, unlike himself, Blake was able to withhold his opinion unless asked was one of them.

“Yes. I’d love to know what you think, how you think I should handle this.”

“When you take Brian to the airport, make sure to tell him you will be happy to pick him up at any time, even Saturday night, that he only has to call. I have a feeling that if indeed he is going there to visit Justin, the first man he has ever fallen for, his first attempt at a relationship, finding that Justin has disappeared without a trace will be a huge blow. We may very well see a reappearance of the drinking, drugging, fucking asshole we all love to hate. If you can head him off and tell him Justin’s story just like you told it to me, it might save everyone concerned a lot of grief…”

They both sat pensively, Ted’ s eyes inadvertently looking at Blake’s well formed, blunt fingered hand, its nails very short and dotted with small white spots. He thought about the feel of those same fingers around his cock, of the feel of Blake’s soft palm on his chest, of the blunt fingers pinching his nipples. He looked up and met Blake’s eyes, the thin lipped knowing smile he loved, and knew his lover hungered for more than chocolate.

Blake walked on all four to Ted’s side of the couch and nuzzled his neck. “You’re so sexy when you play sleuth,” he whispered in Ted’s ear. “Share this with me…” he said, putting his last chocolate between his teeth. There was no more conversation after that…

 

*****
 

Ted looked at his watch. 1:15PM. He still had a half an hour. He brought the Brown file up to make sure all the work had been invoiced.

“Theodore! Time to go!” Brian walked into his office, his coat on, his carry-on over his shoulder, wheeling the large case containing the Sim and Sam campaign panels.

“I thought your flight was at 3:30,” said Ted.

“It is. We could get a flat. They could give me shit about the panels at luggage. There could be some problem with my reservation. Who knows. Let’s go.”

Ted knew better than point out that Brian hadn’t worried about any of those things last time. He just got up, grabbed his jacket and keys, and went down to the garage. On the drive, Brian talked a little about the two appointments he had on arrival, the rain that he was bound to encounter in Seattle and asked Ted if he had plans for the weekend. But he mostly sat there, fidgeting, a small smile on his lips.

“We have no special plans,” said Ted, using this as an opportunity to follow Blake’s advice. “As a matter of fact, Brian, if you came home earlier than expected, don’t hesitate to call, I’ll be glad to pick you up, anytime, even Saturday night, or late, or early, or whatever.” Shit. He was really bad at this. He sounded like a lunatic.

Brian gave him a funny look. “Why so accommodating, Theodore? Have you become that fond of my stellar company?”

Shit, shit. Think. Something stupid and nerdy. Brian would buy something stupid and nerdy coming from him…

“Well, if I reach a certain mileage per month, and since you’re my boss and it can be considered part of my work, I can start deducting fifteen cents per mile for all the trips to the airport I made the last thirty days. I don’t consider it work and I certainly don’t charge Kinnetik for my time or anything. But if I can deduct mileage, and it doesn’t cost the firm anything, why not?”

Surely, Brian was going to see through this. It just screamed bullshit.

“Only an accountant would figure out such an obscure IRS regulation. But, hey, why not take advantage of it. I don’t foresee returning any sooner than planned,” Brian said, and added, smiling, “though I might return later, you never know… Either way, I’ll make sure to call you.”

God. It was frightening to think that he was such a nerd that Brian would actually believe that crap… He needed new clothes…

They arrived ninety minutes before Brian’s flight. He got the large case out of the trunk and after a “Have a nice weekend” left, a spring in his step. Ted watched him go with a feeling of dread. He knew he was right about Justin and Brian. He just knew it. Brian was headed for a world of hurt. Should he have talked to him? And said what? “Excuse me, Boss, have you been going to Seattle under your middle name to get fucked up the ass by a little blond named JT?” Yeah. Right. Stick to the plan, Teddy, stick to the plan…

 

*****
 

Getting to the airport had been a race, but he’d made it and was out of there… The past week had been a trial. The only good night's sleep he’d had had been the one he’d spent at Eric’s. His own bed made him yearn for Aidan. Tuesday night, he’d woken three times, the last time when he’d tripped over his egg shaped lamp trying to get away from his nightmare. At least, he’d not bit his lip again.

He had given up sleeping that night, just rehearsing answering the committee’s questions about his thesis the next day instead, which had had the added benefit of his being superbly prepared and allowed him to completely win them over. He got his master’s with a special mention. Whoop dee doo. Every time he’d gone over the last two chapters, he’d felt his chest constrict, remembering his time at the Edgewater. God, he missed Aidan so fucking much.

Wednesday evening he’d worked his ass off digitizing his drawings, changing them from 2D to 3D. The program was good, but nonetheless, each panel had to be corrected and tweaked after the fact to allow for distortions in the rendering. Now the angle of view could be changed and the whole thing animated. He’d finished Thursday at 10:00AM and had e-mailed them to Brian.

Brian,

It’s the first time a top has kept me up all night…

I haven’t even started working for you and I already need a vacation. You better kick ass with the presentation and win the damn account. Attached is the digital version. I’m going to bed.

I sincerely hope not to hear from you until Monday.

“Love,”

Justin.

He had slept without nightmares. Instead he’d had what seemed like a continuous wet dream about Aidan, making love with him again and again. He’d woken up at 8:00PM with a belly covered in cum and tears on his face. He’d gotten up and showered, aching for the man. Thank god he’d be out of there the next day.

There had been an e-mail response from Brian.


Justin

I do fucking love you.

As you are well aware, the campaign is beautiful enough it will practically sell itself. I’ll try not to fuck it up, but considering I am the best at what I do, there is little chance of that.

Hurry up and get your ass over here. We have Clios to win.

Brian.


Justin had chortled. He was really looking forward to meeting and working with Brian Kinney.

That night he had packed his possessions in cardboard boxes dropped off by his moving company. They provided full service, which included packing, but he’d wanted to pack his art supplies and his paintings himself. He’d also packed his bags, taking his work clothes, his warm clothing, some club clothes and a couple of things he really liked and could not replace, like a quilt he’d bought at the Walla Walla fair…….

Afterwards, he went to Cuffs. Jim’s smile when he went to the bar made him feel bad. He really liked Jim, just not enough. He danced for an hour, until midnight when Jim was off for the night. They went to an all night café and Justin told him he was moving away. Jim bit his lip, looking down at the table, then he took a deep breath and said, “Come home with me.”

Justin did and it was a fantastic night. They fucked, they laughed, they slept and they fucked some more. Some hard fucks, some fun fucks, some slow, sweet, tender fucks. At 6:00 AM, they went out for breakfast.

“So, where are you going?” asked Jim.

“Away. I’m making a clean break, Jim.” Aidan, Aidan, Aidan…

“OK. Then I’m just gonna say it.” Jim locked eyes with him. “I’m in love with you. If you don’t find what you’re looking for, you have a place to come back to, JT.”

Justin’s chest ached. After a short jealous fit at Justin's slip of the tongue while jerking off, Eric had told him he loved him as well, that he wanted them to be together, and to be exclusive. Justin had apologized for leading him on, and said it was not to be. Eric had begged him to at least think about it… Jim was a different matter. Justin really cared about him a lot.

“I’ll remember that, Jim, and it wouldn’t be for the place that I’d come back,” he answered gently, covering Jim’s hand on the table with his own. “But you of all people know I’m pretty fucked up. A change of venue will do me good.”

“What’s his name?”

“Whose name?”

“The guy you’re running from. The guy who brought back the dreams.”

Justin sighed. Jim understood him way too well. “Aidan.”

“JT, whatever wakes you up at night is not in Seattle, and it’s not this guy’s doing, is it? It’s inside you, mate. Wherever you go, it’ll be there until you work it out.”

Justin was quiet for a moment. He knew Jim was right of course, but nobody would ever make him relive that shit. Not ever, not as long as there were drugs out there to do the trick. He shrugged. His nightmares had been awakened by his desire to be able to bottom for Aidan. Away from here and all the memories, they would go away again.

“It’s worth a try,” he said.

*****

At 7:00AM, he met the movers and showed them in. There were five of them, two girls and three guys. They asked for a quick tour, made sure they all knew what was going and what was staying, and told him to be back in three hours.

After thinking about it, he went to a spa for a massage, a wax, which, you know, ouch, then a pedicure and a manicure.

He came back to an empty apartment, with just his luggage sitting in the entry. The team was finishing cleaning the debris of bubble wrap and styrofoam peanuts. He expressed his thanks, signed their invoice and they left just as the “Maid Brigade” van pulled up.

He went to get a bite to eat, then returned to meet his landlord. The cleaning crew was hard at work. They toured the apartment and he got his security deposit check back. He gave his keys to the Maid in charge who would, as per the landlord’s instructions, leave the keys in the mailbox.

Justin put the luggage in the car and drove to the Audi dealership. Considering one of his suitcases had been in the front seat, they used a different vehicle to give him a ride to the airport. At noon, he was off. He hated himself for feeling both guilty and as if he was leaving a piece of his heart behind. Chances were, Aidan would have never returned anyway.

He felt incredibly good stepping out of the Pittsburgh airport. He wondered if it would be over the top to drop to his knees and kiss the ground. He was laughing to himself when Ted pulled up and came out of the car.

“Justin! Welcome to your new home!”

The congratulatory hug was spontaneous and they were both grinning as they managed, after a bit of wrestling, to put his luggage in the Mercedes’ thankfully large trunk.

On the way in, Ted told him how blown away everybody had been by his work (Not bad. Ha!) and Justin gave him a synopsis of his crazy week. After a moment of silence, he admitted, “I’m glad to be out of there, Ted. I thought of Aidan constantly, he was everywhere in my apartment. It was really getting to me. I actually think I’m losing my mind a little. I could have sworn I saw him go through security in the airport when I arrived earlier, and I can even smell him right now. Nuts.”

Ted’s chuckle suddenly put things into perspective. Justin was such a major queen. He grinned at Ted.

At his new home, Ted gave him a hand carrying up his luggage and once inside, handed him a “Welcome to the neighborhood” care package from Blake and him. It had a folder with take-out menus from the best places around, a coupon for ‘Three shirts for the price of two’ at their favorite cleaner, a gift card for ten free rentals at the neighborhood Blockbuster, a business card page with their doctor, their dentist, a florist, a chocolate store, a plumber, and their cleaning service, and a page with the names, addresses, cell phones, fixed phones and birthdays for all their friends, including some he had yet to meet, like Brian, Lindsay and Melanie.

The fact the Ted had no doubt that he would be welcome in their circle was amazingly heart warming. There was a note from Debbie the wild waitress:

Sunshine,
Dinner, Sunday night at 6:00, my house.
Be there or I’ll kick your ass.
Bring nothing but your appetite.
Debbie.

Justin cracked up. He looked at Ted with a smile. “Thanks, Ted. This is… really great. Emmett asked me to join you guys tomorrow, so I guess I’ll see you at the diner.”

Ted smiled back and said, tapping his index finger on it, “That invitation from Deb there means you never need be asked again to join us. It’s like official adoption papers or something. You’re in now, whether you like it or not…” He gave Justin a look Justin wasn’t sure how to read, expectant? Amused? And added: “You are going to like it here, Justin, trust me. You might be surprised by how much… OK, well, back to work for me, at least for a short while. And thanks to you, my pool shark friend, I’ll have a delicious home cooked meal waiting for me when I get home…”

Justin was still chuckling when he closed the door. He really liked Ted. And Blake. Theirs was such a thoughtful gift. It was time to make plans for his evening… He got out his palm pilot and looked up Bill’s number.

“Hello?”

“Bill?”

“Yeah… Who’s this?”

“Bill, it’s Justin.”

“Justin! Wow! You called! I mean you asked for my number and everything, but… Hum. Oh, hi. How is it going?”

Justin grinned. He wondered how old Bill was. “I’ve just arrived in my new apartment and I thought a quiet night at home with a friend and some lube was just what the doctor ordered. Do you have any plans tonight?”

“Yes, but…No, no. No plans. Well I guess now I have some… I mean… Hm… What time should I come over?”

God. He was so cute. “How about…sevenish? I’ll order takeout. What’s your pleasure?”

“Whatever, Justin, as long as we eat it naked.” Bill giggled. “Oh, my god. I can’t believe I just said that out loud. Sorry…”

Justin cracked up. “Sorry? Why? It sounds really nice. I’ll order something nutritious. I think we are going to need the energy.”

More giggling. “OK…”

“Hey, Bill. Bring your toothbrush and some clothes. I’m keeping you all night, OK? You can leave your jammies at home though. You won’t be needing those…”

“Uh, Justin… Should I bring, uh, you know, protection?”

“Smart boy, but no. No need. I have plenty… 476 Parsley. It’s a big house on a huge lot on the SE corner of Parsley and Edmond. Edmond is one way going south. See you around seven, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll be there. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Justin looked at the time. 5:45. He went and took a nice long shower, shaved, and brushed and flossed his teeth. He put on some black drawstring pants and a tight turquoise long sleeve T-shirt.

He ordered a large vegetarian pizza, choosing the no garlic sauce option (He’d never seen that before, but it was genius!), and having them hold the onions. It arrived at 6:45. He wrapped the box in his red down jacket to keep the pizza warm. God only knew when they’d get to it.

At seven exactly, there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find an adorable black boy holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Sweet! He grabbed the plate of cookies and closed the door. He was glad to hear a giggle from the other side. He opened the door again.

“Oh, all right. Since you brought cookies, I guess you can come in…”

“My Mama always brings cookies to people who just moved into the neighborhood,” Bill explained. “You know, a welcome, house warming thing…”

“Thanks. It’s really sweet. I love chocolate chip cookies. Did you make them yourself?”

“Yeah. I can make cookies and chili and roast chicken. That’s it though.”

“I can make jambalaya and brownies, the box kind. So you are way ahead of me.” He went and put the cookies on the bar next to the wrapped pizza. Then he took off his shirt and dropped his pants. He was half hard already.

Bill’s look of surprise was priceless. He stared at Justin’s naked body for a moment, licking his beautiful lips with a very pink tongue. Then his brain seemed to kick in and he dropped his small backpack on the ground, took off his fleece lined denim jacket and toed off his Stan Smiths as he hurriedly took off his hoodie and his undershirt. Then off came the 501’s, along with the socks. No underwear. Smart man. He was fully hard already, with a drop of precum shining at the tip of his beautiful cock. He walked toward Justin, who met him halfway and took him in his arms.

Bill’s skin was incredibly soft. Justin caressed his back, his round muscular ass, and with a hand behind his neck and never breaking eye contact, kissed his full lips, enjoying the unusual sensation of having to bend down to do so. He moved back and waited, his mouth a quarter of an inch from Bill’s. After a few seconds, Bill let out this needy sound and pulled him down, crashing their mouths together, opening his sensuous lips and greedily sucking on Justin’s lower lip. Justin opened his mouth and their tongues met, sending a delicious shiver down Justin’s back. Bill’s mouth was deep and wonderful, the velvety lips warm and soft. Justin could have made out with him for hours.

However, Bill had other ideas. The soft lips made a delicious trail of kisses downward as he knelt on the rug to take Justin’s cock into his hot, wet mouth. It felt amazing. Bill sucked on the head for a while, his soft lips tight around the edge, feeling like nothing Justin had ever experienced. Then he started sliding Justin’s cock in and out of his mouth, and though he was not deep throating him, it still was pleasurable enough that Justin said “Oh, god! Oh, fuck, yeah…” as he was feeling his orgasm building rapidly.

Bill tried to take him in deeper, but gagged violently, so he backed off and continued the delicious sliding suction he’d been doing. That was fine by Justin, who placed his hands on the springy hair and groaned. Suddenly Bill’s tongue was there as well, flicking lightly at the rim in between slides and Justin lost it, coming in the warm mouth. He could feel his cum bathing the head of his cock for a moment until Bill swallowed with a bit of a shudder. Justin smiled and said, “Good boy,” as Bill licked him clean.

Justin pulled him up and kissed him, loving the warm small body, with the perfect well defined musculature and the silken skin.

Bill looked at him with concern on his face. “Was it OK? I couldn’t take it in all the way…”

Justin laughed. “Oh yeah, it was very OK, or did you miss me coming long and hard?” He held Bill lightly, caressing his back, his arms, his ass…

Bill smiled and giggled. “I’m glad you liked it. I’ve only done it a couple of times…”

“Bill, how old are you?”

“I just turned seventeen three weeks ago.”

Sweet Mary, mother of god. Justin was a child molester… “Did you get in Babylon with a fake ID?” he asked.

“No. I nicked my brother’s driver’s license. We look a lot alike and he’s twenty-one.”

“Bill, what in the world were you doing in the backroom with a plug up your ass?”

“I was… you know, looking. I want to learn what to do… How to do stuff. I save all my money so I can go there as often as possible. I love the backroom. I usually end up so hard I have to jerk off. I like the way the plug feels, I like to move it around when I’m about to come.”

Justin’s stomach suddenly did a very unpleasant lurch. “Bill, please tell me you had been fucked before!”

Bill looked like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Uh… I had been fucked before?”

“OK. Now tell me the truth.”

“It was my first time, Justin, and it was so fucking awesome! God, I loved it. I LOVED it. It felt so fucking good. Oh, shit, I’m dripping precum on your rug… Sorry. Just thinking about it almost makes me come. I’ve been jerking off like eight times a day, ’cause I get so hard just thinking about it I can’t think straight. Oh, God. Can we fuck now, please? If I don’t come, I’m going to die!”

Justin couldn’t help it. He just laughed. Bill was so fucking cute. Hell, he had first fucked with his boyfriend when he was fifteen and his art teacher, one of his first fuck buddies, had been twenty-eight, so what the hell… At least Bill was past the age of consent. He kissed his mouth then smacked Bill’s perfect ass. “Up the ladder, young man. Tonight, we’re going to do it right, the way a first time should be…”

Justin had not thought one could get up the vertical ladder quite that fast. He chuckled, turned off the downstairs lights and followed.

At midnight, they still hadn’t eaten. Pizza, that is. Justin was lying in bed with his hands behind his head. Bill was dead to the world, facing him. Justin smiled. He was so fucking endearing. By the time Justin had gotten up the ladder, Bill had been in bed, the duvet up to his neck. Justin had just ripped it off the bed and let it fall to the floor.

He’d lain down and enjoyed making out with Bill for a while, as the boy rutted against his leg. He’d worked his way down the perfect body to a symphony of sighs, moans, cries and purrs. He’d ignored the leaking cock and pushed Bill’s legs up and out with a pillow under his lower back, and had proceeded to eat his ass. It had taken a full thirty seconds before Bill came, shouting something like “Arrgh!!”

It had taken about three minutes of rimming and caressing his cock for him to be fully hard again.

“Oh, Justin…I like this, oh god! I really, really like this!” It appeared that Bill really, really liked rimming…

Then Justin had prepped him to three fingers, sucking lightly on his cock to alleviate the burn, but Bill had surprised him by coming again with a quiet sound, something like, “Guhhh,” as the third finger went in.

By the time he was fully prepped, Bill was chanting, “Fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme,pleasepleaseplease,fuckmefuckmefuckme,” and his cock was as hard as a baseball bat.

With Bill’s calves on his shoulders, Justin had rolled on a condom and slowly but surely had buried himself to his balls inside Bill. Soft, tight and hot. So fucking good. Only one man had ever felt better, but he would not think about that now…

He fucked Bill deep and hard and fast, bending him in half to take the warm mouth, and backing out again to pound away to his heart’s content. Bill came just from that cock up his ass, “Aaaaaaaaah!” and then again, a while later, with Justin’s fist milking his cock, “Oh, oh, oh, oooohhhh…” Justin came with him this time, pulsing deep in his ass, his eyes closed.

Justin pulled out and Bill looked at him as if he was god. “Wow. That was… it was so awesome, Justin.”

Justin smiled at him. “I know. I love fucking. There’s just nothing like it. Now, let’s go shower, you’re covered in cum.”

Justin enjoyed washing the smaller man. He was miniature perfection. “You are so beautiful, Bill. Perfect. I’d love to draw you.”

“I’m a fucking shrimp. I’m 5’4”! For no reason! My Dad’s 5’11”, Mama is 5’6” and my brother is 6’. Like, what the fuck?”

“You’re a fag and a bottom. No guy will give a shit that you’re small. Or they’ll love it, like I do! Your body, the muscle definition, the proportions, it’s perfect. Take off your shirt at the club and they’ll line up for the honor of sucking that gorgeous cock of yours. Almost eight inches, right? Would you rather be 5’4” with an eight inch cock, or 5’8” with a four inch one?”

Bill giggled. “I am kinda big for my size. Seven and a half, not eight. You really don’t think it matters that I’m so short?”

“Fuck no, Bill. I’m telling you. You are so fucking gorgeous, you’ll have to beat them off with a stick.”

“Well, in the back room, nobody’s made a move…”

“You are going at it wrong. Stay in the club. Get on one of the platforms; take off your shirt and dance, making sure you scream, “I need a fuck!” with your body. Pick a hunk you like in the crowd and dance for him. In about five minutes he’ll come, throw you over his shoulder, take you to the backroom and fuck you till you forget your name… He’ll want more, I guarantee it. But don’t go home with anyone. Don’t be stupid. Say something like, “You were good, but not that good. See you!””

The water got cold and they got out. Justin went on. “You need to make friends with the bartender and the bouncers, especially the guy at the door. Next time you go to the club, when he waves you in, have him bend down and whisper in his ear, “When is your break? I’ve been fantasizing about you fucking me the whole time I was waiting in line…” Believe me, he’ll take you up on your offer. Then if ever you want to go home with some guy, you can ask the bouncer if the guy’s OK. Or you can tell him, in front of your trick, “Hey, Marty! I’m going home with John Small here.” So your trick knows the bouncer has his name. Play it safe.”

Bill came up to him and whispered huskily in his ear, grabbing his cock, “When is your break? I’ve been fantasizing about you fucking me the whole time you were talking…”

That did it. Bill was evidently a very quick learner. He showed that he had been paying attention in rimming class and then got on all fours, looking over his shoulder, his whole body screaming “Fuck me!” Yes. He was going to be a hit next time he went to the club. Until then, Justin had to sacrifice himself and be the one to ram the horny twink. Fun!

Justin finally turned out the light. He could see the stars in the night sky and watched the progress of the moon across the skylight, unwilling to close his eyes, finally admitting to himself he was afraid to dream. Bill turned over in his sleep and Justin spooned him. The kid snuggled closer, and Justin closed his eyes, relaxing as much as he could.

He woke up to a warm mouth on his morning wood and then enjoyed a lovely morning fuck. Afterwards, as they walked to the shower, a deep, gut wrenching need for Aidan washed over him without any warning, and his eyes filled with tears. Aidan. God, Aidan… He bit his tongue and came back to his morning’s not at all unpleasant reality.

It was seven-thirty when they got out of the shower. He felt bad, but he was having breakfast with the gang and working out with Emmett this morning, so he had to take Bill home without feeding him.

“Bill, I’m sorry, but I’m meeting some people at eight. I’ve got to take you home.”

“It’s OK. Hey, is that a pizza in there? Can I have some for breakfast?”

Justin laughed. “Of course. Take the whole thing. Let’s go.”

Bill really liked Justin's car, loved the cold pizza and asked to be dropped at the bus stop close to his house.

“My Mom thinks I spent the night at my friend Twigg’s. It’s got to look like I came home by bus. The 13 will be here in twelve minutes. Then I’ll go home.”

God. The way he fucked, it was easy to forget he was just a kid. He was halfway through the pizza.

“All right, Bill. I’ll see you around.”

“Hey, Justin, will we ever do this again, you think?” Bill looked hopeful, but not in a groupie kind of way. Justin had tried hard not to romance the twink. He didn’t need an enamored teenager.

“As long as you get that you and I are friends, fuck buddies, and nothing more, I’d love to. You are a great fuck. But you should play the field, get experience, fuck with lots of different guys. Just make sure you’re always safe. Always, always use a condom and use your brain. Never trust any guy who wants to give you drugs, don’t ever take anything. I want you around for a long time…”

Bill smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I won’t. I’m young, but I’m smart. And I saw you in the backroom. I know you fuck for fun, not for love. Plus, I want a boyfriend my own age, you know? Somebody who’s worried about the SAT’s and will go to the prom with me and shit.”

“You are so wise for someone so young,” said Justin, smiling but meaning it.

Bill giggled. “You’re so funny, Justin. See you.”

“See you.”

*****

Justin didn’t eat much at breakfast. He wanted a serious workout. It was fun seeing everyone though. He could tell why they hung out together all the time. It was like a family, people teasing each other, and a lot of affection. Debbie was a hoot and Hunter was something else entirely. He finally got the scoop about him and his difficult youth from Michael. You could see the pride in Michael’s eyes that his son was doing so well.

Working out with Emmett was a riot. The man did so little actual exercise it was a wonder he was not as fat as a hog, eating like he did, but he talked nonstop and was so funny. He walked on the treadmill next to the one Justin was running on and worked his upper body with half the reps and one fifth of the weight. He did stretches with Justin and was amazingly limber for such a tall man. Finally, Justin talked him into actually doing some abs by showing off his own cut stomach.

“Oh, Baby! You’re killing me,” Emmett complained after fifty, but he stuck with it to a hundred, then lay on the mat and chatted as Justin did the next two hundred.

“You need to work out with Ben and Brian,” Emmett concluded. “They’re the only ones who take it as seriously as you.”

In the shower, Justin thought about his workouts with Aidan, their shared laughter after the abs buster, the sensual hand jobs in the shower. He wished Emmett had not been so quick to rinse off and was still keeping his mind busy with his stories. But he was also selfishly glad to have a moment alone with his memories. He just wished he could feel Aidan’s arms around him right now. He wondered how long it would be before he stopped missing him. Probably never, on some level…

He got a membership at the gym and drove Emmett home. Emmett was excited, one of his fuck buddies was in town this weekend and he was hoping to see a whole lot of him. “You’ll meet him tonight at the diner. He’s pretty special!”

Justin went home, cleaned up the bathroom and changed the sheets. He unpacked all of his clothes and decided he had some shopping to do. He needed shirts and ties if he was going to wear them every day. He e-mailed Cynthia, because well, women just knew how to shop, and asked if she was free for a shopping spree that afternoon. Her answer was, “Hell, yes! And I know just where to go, too…”

He picked her up and she took him to the shopping district. They started with Jos A. Bank and Brooks Brothers but saw nothing exciting. Then she grinned and said, “I’ve saved the best for last…” and took him to Larrimor. It looked old and stuffy, and not a place Justin would ever want to shop, but then he noticed that they carried Zegna suits, his favorite designer, and met Harvey Larrimor, a tall, gangly man in his sixties who was mad about men’s fashion.

When he showed Justin the material choices for the made-to-measure shirts, Justin was impressed. But then Harvey offered to show him his “Personal favorites,” and Justin thought he’d died and gone to heaven. Gorgeous materials, vibrant colors and a great choice of designs. He ordered six shirts and bought Harvey’s recommendation of matching ties.

Then, Harvey, being thrilled to have found an adventurous dresser, showed him his “Special” suit materials, and once again Justin was blown away. He ordered two summer suits, one orange and one of a blue that matched his eyes. Harvey took his measurements and they agreed on the cut for two Zegna patterns.

Justin apologized to Cynthia for spending so long with Harvey, but she was carrying two rather large shopping bags, and laughed. “Larrimor has great Women’s fashion as well. I went hog wild. I hardly ever have time to shop, so this was really fun. Did you like Harvey Larrimor?”

“The man is a fashion maven. I got a whole new wardrobe. How do you know about him?”

“Brian, of course. He shops in New York twice a year, but Harvey is his choice here in Pittsburgh. Brian has a perfect model’s body, tall and slender. He can dress off the rack and look like the suits were custom made for him, but sometimes he does like made-to-measure, and you cannot beat Harvey’s collection or tailoring.”

“Thank you so much for coming with me. I owe you.”

“No, you don’t. I had a great time. See you Monday, bright and early… A word to the wise. Don’t be late. It really pisses Brian off.”

“I’m never late. It’s disrespectful.”

“So glad to hear it. You are going to fit in just fine…”

On the way back home, he stopped at Torso, a shop he’d noticed the previous week and went in. He bought a pair of black jeans that did wonders showcasing his ass, and that were cut so low in the front the zipper was a third the normal length. He bought a black wife beater that was cropped short, but not too short, showing a hint of treasure trail and his well defined arms, as well.

He was not stupid enough not to notice he was buying clothes that resembled the ones Aidan had favored. Justin had never even bought black before. Why did he feel the need to be connected to the man he had made sure to cut all contact with? Because he loved him, of course. And he would continue loving him and wishing things had been different for a long time to come.

 

*****
 

As soon as he was done impressing Rickert Carpeting, and though he had a good hour before Ted would drive him to the airport, Brian could think of nothing but his impending trip, of ringing JT’s doorbell, and seeing the surprised smile on his face at the top of the stairs. He closed his eyes to better imagine how good it would feel to hold him in his arms.

Half of the time he thought he was insane, trying to recall who he was, Brian Fucking Kinney for god’s sake, with the well ordered, emotionally controlled life of a man all men wanted, who needed no one, proud of his independent self sufficiency, of his complication-free life.

The other half of the time, he remembered how good it was to have interesting conversations and laughter, or just time to enjoy physical closeness and make-out in between bouts of fantastic sex. Then he thought the insanity would be to choose the sterility of his previous incarnation over the richness, the joy of sharing his time with JT.

Of course, wanting something so badly that he had no control over, having to trust someone enough to risk his heart scared him shitless. But then he recalled making love that Saturday night, and he knew he was not the only one risking his heart, that JT’s eyes, his hands, the expressions on his beautiful face did not lie.

Fuck. There was no way he could get anything done, and he was tired of checking the clock every five minutes. He got up, put on his coat, grabbed his bags and went to rouse Ted.

Thank god his accountant knew better than to give him a hard time. Brian loved Mikey with the unwavering affection of a brother, but more often than not the man drove him crazy. He was discovering that he appreciated Ted’s company more and more. Ted was sharp, with a very wicked sense of humor.

He knew Ted suspected there was more to the trips to Seattle than business. Mikey would have harassed him about it until Brian felt like braining him. Ted just kept it to himself, pretending he didn’t notice Brian’s uncontrollable anticipation. He was a bit puzzled at Ted’s answer about his weekend plans.

“We have no special plans. As a matter of fact, Brian, if you came home earlier than expected, don’t hesitate to call, I’ll be glad to pick you up anytime, even Saturday night, or late, or early, or whatever.”

His explanation for his eagerness to play taxi was so ridiculous it didn’t even deserve to be questioned. Obviously, he didn’t want to say why he was so willing to forgo whatever he was doing to give Brian a ride. Brian just let it go. He was intrigued though.

Half an hour early at the airport, he sat and opened the file containing the digitized panels on his computer. The one of the lonely runner on the shore was breathtaking enough to be considered a work of art. It captured perfectly the vibrant gold of a summer twilight. You could feel the residual heat from the ground and the coolness of the impending night in the air. You could hear the triple rhythm of the waves crashing, of the beat of the running shoes on the path, and of the regulated breath of the runner. That would be the only sound accompanying the image in the commercial, and he would encourage the client to use this panel in the paper ads. It was so beautiful; it spoke so perfectly of the true essence of running and would remain in people’s psyche long after they turned the page.

Brian realized he’d better get through security or he would miss his flight. As he was getting his carry-on off the rollers and zipping his computer back into its leather bag he felt, with that sixth sense that makes you meet the eye of a stranger staring at you in a crowded restaurant, that someone was watching him. He turned around but saw nothing but arriving passengers walking on one of those conveyor belts. He was the last passenger to get onboard, but since he had an aisle seat in first class, he didn’t have to disturb anyone.

His neighbor was a rather rotund businessman with a comb over, fat short fingers and hairy knuckles. He had a gold wedding band embedded in his ring finger, and Brian shuddered at the thought of what went on in that marital bed… He saved that image in his memory bank for the next time he needed to get rid of an inopportune hard-on.

It turned out the man was friendly in an old fashioned way, introducing himself and shaking hands with Brian. His company made turbine blades of all kinds and he was going to Washington State to visit all the different dams and evaluate the state of wear on the giant electricity-producing blades. He explained to a fascinated Brian how the edge could be renewed with bead soldering though the work was painstaking and dangerous, a man having to bodily enter the turbine and solder within inches of his shield with no room to move and little air to absorb the heat. He’d once done that work, when he was young and crazy and, he added laughing, about sixty pounds lighter…

Brian, explaining why he was going to Seattle, showed him his favorite panel. The man looked at it for several minutes and smiled.

“I need a few copies of that picture around to remind me why I should try to get in shape, other than to please the wife, that is… It’s hard to imagine now that I ran track in high school. Poor Betsy married a jock and now she’s stuck with a beer drinking, recliner-loving husband. She still likes to sit on my lap, though.” He laughed. “Thank god she kept her figure, light as a feather she is, even after the four kids. She was head cheerleader in our high school.”

The man was so obviously still crazy about his wife, who apparently loved him enough to overlook his change in looks, it almost made Brian feel guilty about his usual contempt for breeders. Well, there was an easy cure for that…

“I’m gay. The pressure to stay in shape is a lot greater with us. Women are a lot more forgiving… If we’re out of shape, we don’t get to fuck.”

The man laughed again, and answered, “Well, I guess you must see plenty of action then, with your GQ figure. Our oldest, Steven, is gay. Came out when he was a junior in high school, if you can believe that. He played football and everything and well, you know how kids are… That took some real guts. Never been so proud of him. He’s in college now, UCSF. Physics major. The lucky boy takes after his mother though, so hopefully he won’t have too hard a time keeping fit.”

Now Brian felt like a total jerk, his own prejudice rubbed in his face. JT would laugh at him when he told him. They were landing. The man gave Brian a business card.

“If you’re ever in Elizabeth, New Jersey, come for dinner. Betsy’s a fine cook, obviously.” Then he looked at Brian, and grinned. “Then again, feeding your bony self must not take much. I’ll just tell her to throw an extra lettuce leaf in the salad bowl for you.”

Brian cracked up. He reciprocated. “If you’re in Pittsburgh longer than for a stopover, I’ll take you to the best diner you’ve ever been to. Enough grease in one of their burgers to keep one of your turbines going for a year…”

The man’s name was Howard Johnson. “Just like the motel.” Brian was glad to have met him.

He took his rental car directly to Sim and Sam’s corporate headquarters in Kirkland, across Lake Washington from Seattle. His meeting with them was for 6:30 PM, and he knew they had better things to do on a Friday night than cool their heels waiting for him.

TBC….

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