Spin and Fall

Chapter 24

Justin was incredibly tired. He put on the jacket of his Michael Kors suit and headed for the door. His department was empty. He was, as always, the last to leave. He and Stuart, along with Chris, Bob and Margretta, previously of Vangard, had bonded as a team from the first meeting they'd had Thursday morning in his office. They were all gifted, organized, creative and funny. Stuart was like the glue that held them together. After an absurd fifteen hour day Thursday, he’d kicked everyone out on time on Friday, so that when Justin got to his car, it was only 6:30.

They had accomplished a huge amount - physically moved into their new quarters, divided the artists into their respective teams, reviewed all the pending work, assigned and began work on the twenty-eight campaigns that had come from Brian’s execs in the last two days. They were the Vangard campaigns Brian considered the most unacceptable and therefore the most urgent to replace with campaigns of Kinnetik quality and standards.

They had arrived with just the bare outline of new ideas and directions from Brian’s ad execs, leaving a lot of room for interpretation. Justin had decided that he and the creative directors would handle them, passing all the normal Kinnetik campaigns, with much better developed concepts to their teams.

They would start every day with a meeting to support each other’s efforts, and help each other by throwing out ideas to flesh out Brian’s team’ s instructions. It would work. Already, each of them had one or two campaigns on the way. But it would be a lot of hard work for everyone. Justin laughed to himself when one of the campaigns turned out to be for Lucifer Shoes. He and Brian had even fucked at the office against their own policy to avoid that one! Luckily, it had ended up in Margretta’s pile. He might have had to quit his job…

At the loft, Justin stripped, hung up his suit and tie and showered before putting on his favorite jeans and a long sleeved red t-shirt. Brian came in as he was making himself an espresso. He made a second one, Brian looked beat too. He just smiled at Justin and headed to the bedroom to change as well. Justin was about to strip again, feeling suddenly frisky at the thought of Brian in the shower, when he heard the water turn off. That had to be the most perfunctory shower Brian had ever taken.

He came out of the bedroom, having for some reason also dressed at high speed. He had a spring in his step. He gave Justin a kiss on the lips and drank his espresso.

“Thanks, I needed that. Come on, come on, we’re going to be late!”

The door buzzer went off. “See, here’s the cab!” He grabbed their leather jackets and pushed Justin out the door.

“Brian, what the hell? I’m exhausted. Where the fuck are we going?” Justin was laughing. Brian was acting like a kid. Brian waved tickets under his nose. He caught them and had a look. They were tickets to that night’s basketball game. The Pittsburgh Muskrats versus the Seattle Sonics… How did Brian know he was a Sonics fan? Of course. He’d talked about it with Terry…

“Where did you get the tickets?”

“Gardner’s stash. He’s got opera, theater, ballet, basketball, you name it. I thought we’d share the wealth with everyone, but I know you like basketball, so, why not start with us? Actually, the other two tickets went to Cynthia’s dad and brother. I’m not mistaken, right? You do like the Sonics?”

“I met the coach, Bernie Bickerstaff, and several of the players when I was drawing Rage. Bernie’s gone, but they are still my favorite team. Thanks.” Fuck. He’d not really followed basketball all that much this year, but he knew one player who had not been traded. Mark Kilgore still played on the team… Well, Three Rivers Arena could house 70,000 people, so the chances that Mark would spot him were pretty slim.

They got out of the cab and walked in. Justin headed for the ramp, but Brian held him back. “Nothing but the best for Gardner, Justin. We’re courtside…”

“Wow! That’s… amazing!” Oh, double fuck! Fucking courtside? Fucking Gardner Vance!

“Yes. I think even I might enjoy a game from courtside seats,” said Brian.

So, though Brian said it was the ugliest hat he’d ever seen, Justin bought a Sonics cap that hid his blond hair and shaded his face. Feeling pretty anonymous, he actually enjoyed the game very much, as did Brian. The score at the end of the third quarter was 78 to 80 for the Muskrats, and it was very exciting. Terrence Biers had the ball and was dribbling towards the Sonics’ basket when someone with a beer and hotdog passed behind Justin, knocking off his hat.

While he picked it up, Mark Kilgore stole the ball and started a drive across the court into the Muskrat camp. While looking for a pass his eyes found Justin, and he tripped on his own feet, landing onto his ass. The ball rolled straight towards Brian, but was intercepted by Biers, who slipped on Kilgore’s sweat and landed on his ass as well, almost in Brian’s lap. Kilgore and Biers, laughing, pulled each other up. Mark Kilgore’s eyes locked with Justin’s before zooming in on Brian, whose arm was resting on the back of Justin’s chair. The horn sounded the end of the quarter, and Brian turned to Justin.

“You fucked Mark Kilgore,” he said, no doubt whatsoever in his voice.

“Some basketball player looks at me for half a second and you conclude I fucked him?” However true it was, it was still quite a wild guess on Brian’s part.

“No, he saw you, tripped and fell on his ass, and then gave you that look…”

“That look?”

“Yes. The look in Jeff’s eyes, in Jamal’s eyes, in Theo’s eyes, in Cooper’s eyes. The look that asks ‘Why couldn’t you love me? Why wasn’t I enough?’… How long did you fuck him?”

Justin had cringed internally at Brian’s description of that look. He lightly touched the chain around his neck, with the pendant Brian liked, and his insides ached for Cooper all over again. Fuck. “It wasn’t like that with him! We just fucked. …For three years,” he answered Brian.

“You fucked this guy for three fucking years, and you really think it meant nothing?”

“The first time was a fluke. He’s happily married for fuck’s sakes. After that he came to me when he got the itch, I never went to him. It meant nothing. We just fucked, that’s all.”

“For three years? How often? Did he spend the night?”

“Yes, for three years, once a month or less, and yes, he spent the night the last year. Gee, Brian, why the third degree?”

“A man 6’8” or thereabouts, whom my lover used to fuck, may want him back. I’m just getting the facts.”

“Your lover?” asked Justin with a smile.

“What?”

“I like that better than your partner.” Justin pulled Brian towards him for a kiss. “Can I always be your lover?”

Brian smiled and deepened the kiss. “Will you suck me tonight?”

“Will you fuck my mouth?”

“Oh, yeah…”

“OK, then.”

“Well, all right, my lover it is…”

They kissed again, a nice, long slow kiss

“Hum, hum…”

A gorgeous, very tall, very pregnant woman was smiling at them. “Y’all do know you’re up on the board, don’t you?”

Justin looked at the scoreboard just in time to see their image disappear.

“Oh well,” joked Brian. “I guess we’re out of the closet now…”

The woman laughed and looked at the man sitting to the left of Justin. “Go for a walk so I can sit a minute, OK?”

“Hey, go to your own seat, lady. Why the hell should I give you mine?” said the man.

“Because I’m fucking pregnant with twins and if you fucking don’t, the 6’8” father of my kids is gonna come and kick your sorry ass, that’s why!”

The man felt a sudden urge to take a walk. She sat down with a sigh. “Fucking rude people!” she said.

Brian and Justin were cracking up. She joined them. “It’s the hormones. I can’t be held responsible…” She looked at Justin. “You are JT, right? I didn’t scare that poor white man for nothing?”

“Yes. I’m Justin Taylor and this is Brian Kinney.”

“Hi. I’m Avis Kilgore.” They shook hands, and Justin wondered what this was all about.

She said to Justin, “Mark was so shocked to see you, he fell on his ass. I thought it was pretty funny. He texted me to ask both of you to come to our hotel for a drink after the game. Please say yes.”

“Uh…” Justin looked at Brian.

“Of course. We’ll be happy to come.”

“Thanks. Now I gotta get back to the wives’ section. It should be called the whales’ section. Carrie McDaniel and Linda Payton are pregnant too. We look just ridiculous…”

She got up, smiled and left, just as the game resumed. Justin’s neighbor scurried back to his seat. It was an easy win for the Sonics. In the fourth quarter Marc Kilgore was on fire, and sank twenty-two points alone, getting the game’s most valuable player at the end. Avis came back, and offered them a ride. She didn’t want to wait for her husband to come out of the showers and do the interviews. As pregnant as she was, she drove their rented Cadillac Escalade with ease, but happily gave the keys up to the concierge at the Renaissance Hotel. They took the elevator to the 33rd floor, and entered a beautifully appointed suite.

Avis took off her heels, and offered them a drink. She and Justin had Perrier and Brian emptied his little bottle of Beam into a crystal tumbler. They sat on the beautiful leather couches facing the window, with a gorgeous view of the river.

“Mark and I have been married for twelve years,” said Avis. “We’ve always been crazy about each other. Last Valentine’s Day, I suggested we should have a baby. His career is reaching its end you know; he’s thirty-four years old. We’d already said he’d retire when his contract was up, in two years… You could have knocked me down with a feather when he said he had to think about it. He’s always wanted kids.

“Finally, a month later, he sits me down and says he wants to tell me something. That scared the shit out of me, of course. He tells me he loves me, but he loves someone else too, and that before he can commit to having a family, he has to find out if there might be some kind of a future there, and decide to pursue it, or end it. He cannot be the father of my child and have a lover. I couldn’t believe it. We talk all the time, we laugh together; we make love every night… It made no sense. That’s when he tells me the 'someone else' is a man. I almost died of shock.

“I asked him ‘Is he gay? Is he one of those down-low brothers who live in the closet?’ He swears to god he’s not. He says he’s around beautiful men all the time and couldn’t care less, that he loves making love to me, and that he’s never looked at another man. He says that it’s just this one man, and he doesn’t understand it either.

“I was mad of course, and hurt. I said some things… I asked if he liked fucking that man more than he liked fucking me. He tells me he doesn’t fuck JT - that’s the first time I heard your name, by the way - JT fucks him and, god help him, he loves it. He loves it and he loves him, but he could never imagine letting another guy touch him. He never gets aroused around other guys or anything. Only JT.”

She was so calm, so matter of fact recounting her story. Justin felt sick. Brian had his arm around him and pulled him closer, so that he sat between Brian’s legs and had his arms around him. Avis smiled at him. “I’m sorry to put you on the spot. I just thought you might as well know that I know.”

“Anyway, he wanted to see you, to find out how you felt about him, and then decide to either be with you, or never see you again, and commit to me and to a family. I was so scared when he left. I love that man. I knew that even if you wanted him, he might still come back to me, because what we have is so strong, and that if he did come back I could trust he’d never see you again. He was completely gutted when he returned. You’d given your answer without even being asked the question. You’d moved away, to parts unknown, nobody knew where you were, and you’d never even said goodbye.

“I held him while he cried for you. He said you’d never talked of love, never promised anything, but he had fallen for you anyway. Now you were gone, and so he was free, if I still wanted him. He promised there would never be anyone else. He’d never said that before. I knew shit happened with groupies when he was alone on the road, but as long as they stayed on the road, and that he was careful, I didn’t care. But now he made a solemn promise. Me, me only, forever. I said yes. Things have been really good. But then, they always were.”

She smiled at Justin. “Tonight, after he lands on his ass in front of 67,000 people, I get this text.” She pulled out her phone. “JT is here, courtside, blond with a dark haired man. Please invite them to our suite, I want you to meet him, I want to meet his friend, I want to say a proper goodbye. You know I’ll remember my promise.”

She laughed. She had a beautiful laugh. “In my mind you were ten feet tall, and huge, like Shaquille O’Neal. It never occurred to me that you were white… Look at you, so slight, blond, beautiful and innocent. I can totally see how anyone could fall for you. It’s so good to finally meet you, you have no idea.”

They heard the suite door open and close, and Mark was there. He kissed his wife and asked how she felt. You could see the love between them. He looked up, saw Justin and stopped, just looking at him. Then he grinned and said, “Can I hug you, midget, or is that man behind you gonna kick my ass if I try?”

“He won’t," said Justin, getting up, "but if you don’t hug me, I’ll kick your ass…”

Mark laughed and came to the couch, “You could try. You might reach the back of my knee…” He bent down and hugged the hell out of Justin.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye,” said Justin.

“Don’t be. It was never like that between us. But it’s so good to see you now.” He looked at Brian. “So you found someone to take you in despite your repulsive physique, I see.”

“Mark Kilgore, this is Brian Kinney. Brian, this is Mark, the model for Rage’s body.”

Mark and Brian shook hands.

“Sweetie, this is really nice, but I need to lie down,” said Avis to her husband. “I’m going to go to bed.”

“You’re all right?”

“Just tired.”

“OK, Love. I’ll join you soon. We have early practice.”

Avis got up, looking exhausted. “JT, Brian, thanks for coming, and goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

They watched Avis waddle out of the room, one hand behind her back. She went into the master bedroom and closed the door.

Mark remarked to Brian, “Rage looks a lot more like you than he does me. Did JT use you for his face? Nah, that’s stupid. He would have used you for the body too, in that case…”

“Rage was my fantasy, my idea of the perfect man,” said Justin. He grinned. “Brian just happens to look exactly like him.”

“Beautiful and blond, smart and sweet, horny and generous in bed. My perfect man…” said Mark to Justin. “Do you remember? I told you this the last time we were together, the early morning of February 5th.”

He looked at Brian, apologetically, and looked at Justin again. “I was trying to tell you how I felt about you, kind of wanting more than what we had but kind of not, because I adore my wife. I’d fallen for you at some point, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do about it.”

“I remember you saying it, how surprised I was. But then you acted like you always did, and I kind of forgot.”

“I’m glad you found someone JT, and that you’re happy. When I found out you were gone, it killed me to think I’d never see you again. But it’s what needed to happen. I figured out what I wanted my future to be, and of course it’s with Avis. I’m gonna be a daddy, JT. Can you believe it?”

“Well, at least you won't have to buy bassinets," said Justin. "You can just put each of the babies in one of your shoes…"

Mark cracked up. "Please, Rage, don't kill me for saying so, but I do love this man…"

Brian shrugged. "It's hard not to. I think it's his cute, kissable round tipped nose…"

"Hmm… I'd always thought it was his cute, kissable round tipped dick, but now that you mention it, I think you're right. It's the nose!"

Brian burst out laughing. After that, Brian and Mark got along great, using every excuse to make jokes at Justin’s expense, though, after that first one, none of them was of a sexual nature. He laughed with them; they were damn funny, and it was nice that they could all be friends.

Before they left, Mark asked for their e-mail address, so they could keep in touch. He shook Brian’s hand, and hugged Justin again.

Justin and Brian talked very little on the way home, Brian seemingly distracted and giving Justin cursory answers. By the time they entered the loft, Justin had the distinct feeling that something was wrong.

They were both tired and got ready for sleep. Brian went to bed first and when Justin joined him, Brian did not change his position, keeping his eyes closed, his legs crossed and his hands behind his head. There was no contact between them.

“Brian?”

“Hmm?”

“Is everything all right?”

“…’m tired…”

“Yeah, me too.”

But now Justin was wide-awake, with a strange pain somewhere inside. Brian was closing him out and he had no idea why. Eventually, Brian 's breathing took on the rhythm of sleep. For the first time ever, Justin did not feel wanted in this bed, welcomed in this loft. This was exactly why they had kept both their places. He would feel just as unhappy in his apartment, but at least there he would not feel unwelcome.

He quietly got up and put his clothes back on. Brian seemed deeply asleep. In stocking feet, he made his way out of the bedroom and almost had a heart attack when Brian asked, “Why me?”

Why me? What the fuck did that mean? Should he understand this question? Was it obvious and was he just oblivious? Fuck. Maybe he was stupid, but he had no clue.

“I’m sorry, Brian, but 'Why you' what?”

“Eric, Jim, now Mark. Then Bill, Theo, and Jeff, Cooper, Vance and Matthew and fucking Jamal. Mark mentioned February 5th, Justin. That’s the day we met. You fucked him that morning, only hours before you fucked me. All these men, all gorgeous, all interesting, all waiting for you to love them. Why me? What’s so special about me?”

How could he explain it? Justin remembered going home to get his thesis material, and feeling shy about knocking on Aidan’s hotel door. He remembered his urge to slip Aidan’s jock strap into his bag, and holding his business card in his hand, his palm sweaty as he slipped it in the inside pocket of Aidan’s coat. He remembered doing a happy dance when he’d seen Aidan’s first e-mail.

But when had Brian become special? When had Justin fallen in love with him? It was absurd, but it was on the dance floor of Purr, when Aidan had fucked his mouth in front of everyone there. The first time he had wished, though he had not thought it clearly, that Brian could top him. He had never wished that about anyone else. He had never wanted to reclaim his true sexual nature with anyone else.

Would Brian scoff at the idea that they were soul mates and that they were meant to be? Probably. But he’d asked, and Justin knew no other answer.

“From early on… From your first visit to Seattle I felt a special connection with you. I still feel it. You may think it’s absurd, but… You are my soul mate.”

“The yin to your yang, your true partner, your perfect lover, the top to your bottom?” Justin was surprised. Brian 's tone was not mocking in the least.

“Exactly. We belonged to one another.”

“Oh, Justin… Please take off your clothes and come back to bed,” Justin could hear the love in Brian’s voice. It only took him seconds to be back in his arms. Brian kissed him passionately as his hand was gently pushing Justin’s legs apart, and his slick fingers were opening him. Brian turned him over on his stomach, and slipped into him, his body covering Justin’s completely, his weight on his elbows, whispering in his ear, as he was fucking him slow and deep, “My true partner, my perfect lover, my soul mate… I love you, Justin, so much…”

They made love for a long time, the intimacy of it burning, their bodies melding into one, their whispered words of love beautiful. They woke up in the morning on their sides with Brian’s still sheathed cock between Justin’s cheeks, Brian still draped around Justin. Justin felt so loved. He felt as if they had reached some profound understanding, though he was not sure what it was.

Brian’s mouth was still next to his ear, and he only had to speak in a low intimate voice to be heard. “I’m not going to call you my lover, you know…”

Justin smiled. “Because I didn’t blow you last night?”

Brian chuckled appreciatively. “I’d forgotten about that. But no. Justin… Something happened last night, didn’t it?”

“Yes,” agreed Justin. “Something did.”

“I think I might call you my soul mate, even if it is ridiculously romantic.”

“I think I like that even better than lover,” said Justin, smiling.

“And now, we have to get up and go have breakfast with the guys.”

Justin chuckled. “Way to kill the romance…”

“If you want romance, I’ll fuck you in the diner’s bathroom…”

They both cracked up and got up to fuck in the shower. Fucking in a bathroom stall at the diner sounded good too, but that was at least forty minutes away. Why wait that long?
 

****************
 

“Auntie Molly! Auntie Molly!”

This little kid was running to her and hugging her knees. OK. That was weird. He looked up at her, and she was looking into the face of baby Rage.

“Hi there,” She said, putting aside her anxiety about being in a new town about to meet with a brother she hadn’t seen in six years, away from all she knew, and paying attention to the little boy who was looking at her with a big smile. “I’m your Auntie?”

“Well, you’re my daddy’s sister…”

Just then the man she had been expecting appeared. After all this time he had hardly changed. Before she knew it, she was wrapped in his arms and being hugged within an inch of her life. She was very glad the little boy was there, jumping up and down, and Brian too now, smiling at her, (looking very handsome), or she might have done something as uncool as cry in her brother’s neck. Instead, she said: “His Daddy? Geussin! You got some 'splainin to do!” in her best imitation of Ricki Riccardo.

Justin backed up chuckling, and looked at her. “You are so grown up, Molly, so pretty!”

Well, that was nice! “Thanks, Justin!”

Two women joined them, one dark and one light, the blond one carrying a smiling toddler.

“Auntie Molly! These are my moms and this is my sister…” said Baby Rage.

“Hi, I’m Mel,” said the brunette, kissing her cheek, “and I’m Lindz, and this is JR,” said the blonde. She explained, as if it should make sense, “Brian came to pick us up, and our flight landed only ten minutes before yours, so Gus wanted to greet you. We’re going to head out now, and give you some time with Justin. Sorry to barge in on your reunion…”

“Brian,” said Mel, holding Gus by the hand, “we’ll be at Carousel 2, getting the luggage.”

“I’ll be right there.” Brian smiled at Molly. “It’s good to see you again, Molly. We’re all having dinner together at Debbie’s, where you’ll be living, so I’ll see you later.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and gave Justin one on the lips, saying something in his ear that made her brother grin before he left for the luggage area.

Justin looked at her with a smile. “Sorry about the crazy welcome. Their flight was two hours late. I was not planning on being here with a crowd. How about we go have a drink over there and chat for a little while before going down to luggage?”

Molly realized that if they went down now, since her luggage was arriving on Carousel 3, they would meet the women and children again. She was grateful that Justin realized she needed to be alone with him for a little while.

“OK. I could use a hot chocolate…”

Justin ordered two and they sat with their drinks. He was so goofy. He had this big smile on his face, and apparently could not help it. It made her feel really good that he was so thrilled to see her. She’d been a little worried about coming to Pittsburgh despite Justin’s happy e-mails and Brian’s reassurances.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“Uh… I’m a little nervous, I guess. This is your world. I don’t know anybody…”

“Not true. You know me because I haven’t changed that much, you know Brian because you’ve been e-mailing behind my back for weeks, and now you know our son Gus.”

“Yeah, and what’s up with that? Since when do you have a son?”

“Since about a month ago. You met Mel and Lindz. They live in Toronto. Gus is Lindz and Brian’s biological child, with the help of artificial insemination. We go see them about once a month. Last month, Gus decided to start calling me daddy too, since he calls his mama’s wife mom. I asked Brian if he was OK with it, and he is. Somehow, when he calls “Daddy”, we always seem to know which one he means, so it hasn’t been a problem.”

“He is a cute little kid,” Molly said, smiling. He really was.

The way Justin smiled, you would think he was the boy’s father. “And you are his auntie,” Justin explained. “You share that privilege only with his Auntie Em, whom you’ll live with.”

“I thought in the house, it was just Debbie and Carl and some guy named Emmett…”

“Right, Emmett. Known to the kids as Auntie Em… He’s gay, and more than a little flamboyant, but he’s my best friend outside of Brian. I have a whole family here, Molly. And they are going to be your family too. They’re a little crazy, and if Craig knew about them, he’d have a heart attack, but they are all wonderful in their own ways, and you get to meet them all tonight.”

Justin looked like he couldn’t wait for her to meet them, which she found reassuring.

“Was it hard to leave Denver?” he asked, a little worried.

“Mom and Dad have been driving me insane with their ridiculous behavior; acting like the end of the world has come because their country club membership was revoked. They have turned into caricatures of themselves. And I was as bratty, unruly and rebellious as possible, to make sure they’d let me leave.”

She tried not to show too much hurt, but she could tell Justin could read her like a book when she told him the rest. “I was disappointed in some of the people I thought were my friends, who were told by their parents not to have anything to do with me, and they listened, and all of my other friends were getting ready for St. James, so I didn’t have much to say to them. I guess I’m a little shaken, and scared, but I’m OK overall.”

“Are you going to be all right staying at Debbie’s tonight, or would you rather stay with me?”

“Debbie’s, definitely. She sounds so excited in her e-mails. And making sure I’d be here for the family dinner was really sweet. Don’t worry about me, Justin. I’m ready to start a new life. I know you have to work tomorrow. You need your sleep. It’s good enough to know that you and Brian are just around the corner…”

“Good. Well, let’s go get your luggage, and go to Debbie’s, then. She is VERY excited…”

Molly thought her brother was so cool. She loved the way he dressed, loved the way he found all her luggage in, like, two minutes, even though the carousel was empty, loved the way he knew exactly where his car was, not like Craig, who always thought his car had been stolen, because he knew he had parked it right here, and then it turned up somewhere else. She loved his cool car, and the way he drove and talked at the same time, like driving was so easy, not white knuckled like their dad.

She loved the way he pulled up in front of a florist, and said to her, “Would you like to bring Debbie some flowers?” just when she’d been worried about arriving empty handed. She loved the way he let her pick the arrangement she liked best, not giving her constant advice like mom, or price limits like dad. She loved the way he asked her if the music was OK in the car, and pointed out places in town that were interesting, like the mall, the pool, the university where Brian had gone, and not stupid things like the cathedral or the town hall.

She loved the way he made a special detour so she could see her school and how far it was from Debbie’s (Not far at all.) He was just the most awesome guy ever, and he was so gorgeous. No wonder Brian loved him.

“Uh… Molly? When we get there, Debbie is going to hug you. She does that. Just go with it, OK? And Emmett, if he’s there… Well Emmett just says what he thinks. He might forget you’re only fifteen. If he says anything you don’t understand, just ask me later. I promise I’ll explain, OK?”

Brian had sent Molly a picture of Debbie, and had given her the same warnings. She thought it was sweet, how these two worried about her.

They pulled up in front of Debbie’s and carrying bags and flowers, made their way to the front porch. Justin knocked and entered, and this woman, whose picture did not do her red hair justice at all, appeared wiping her hands on a kitchen towel.

“Sunshine! You’re here! Oh, my god! Molly! Look at you! You are gorgeous! Welcome!”

They called that a hug? Molly thought it was more of a wrestling move designed to suffocate your opponent… And it went on, and on, as she was asked questions she could not possibly answer since her face was smothered by a boob.

“Are these for me? How was your flight? Are you tired? Are you hungry? Do you like Italian food? Did Sunshine show you the town?”

A grandfatherly voice put an end to the situation. “Debbie, honey! Let the child breathe for heaven’s sake! Give me a chance to welcome her!”

Debbie released her with a hearty laugh, received her bouquet, and Molly looked at the kindliest face she ever seen, of an older man with green eyes and a sweet, sweet smile.

“Hello and welcome, little Molly. I’m Carl. It’s so good of you to agree to brighten our home with your presence.” He added in a confidential voice, “I’ve always secretly wanted a daughter. So forgive me if I smother you with affection and unwanted advice, OK?” He cupped her cheeks in his hands, and kissed her forehead. Molly smelled his old fashioned cologne, and she loved the feel of his cool dry hands on her face. She decided he could smother her with affection and advice anytime.

Now there was a tall, handsome man looking at her with beautiful blue eyes. He smiled, and there was a gap between his front teeth that made him look so sweet and friendly.

“Hi, Molly! I’m Emmett. I would have known you anywhere; you look so much like Justin! Just as gorgeous, from your beautiful smile to your amazing a... uh, eyes, yeah, eyes… Anything more to bring in from the car, Justin?”

“Yes, two more bags in the trunk,” said Justin, who was chuckling for some reason, throwing his keys to Emmett. “I’m taking Molly up, OK, Deb?”

“Sure. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“And I’ll be in the recliner,” said Carl, winking at Molly.

“Come on Molly. Let me show you your room.” Debbie had warned Molly that her room used to be her son Michael’s so she was not expecting much. When she walked in however, she was so amazed that she couldn’t even speak. There was a big brass bed painted white except for the brass balls on top of the posts, with a white mosquito net, and beautiful white embroidered sheets and a dark blue comforter cover.

The ceiling was painted like a morning sky, with the moon and stars and wispy clouds on the dark side, getting lighter toward the other side with pink clouds and golden light as the rays of the sun came over the hills painted on the wall.

The hills were part of a mural of a forest, which included a white desk with ivy growing on the legs, and a few fallen leaves and flowers on the writing surface. The rest of the walls were pale blue, her favorite color, and the floor was hardwood with a blue Persian rug, similar to the rugs she had grown up with and on which she and Justin had played for hours, following the patterns, playing marbles, combing the fringes.

There was a white chest of drawers with a mirror, and a trunk at the foot of the bed. As she was spinning in place to take it all in, she kept seeing more thoughtful gestures by her brother... like an alarm that had a port for her iPod on the night table, the empty frames on both the chests of drawers and the night table for her to put her own pictures in, and a couple of bigger empty frames on the walls. The wall closet was open, and there were tons of pretty padded hangers and special shelves for shoes.

The room was not big, but it was cozy and so beautiful. She finally turned to hug Justin, who looked a little uncertain, and said, “Thank you! Justin, it’s beautiful.”

“There are more things you'll need. A night lamp, a shade for the ceiling light, a chair for the desk, and maybe another comfortable chair to read in, and we can change the generic knobs on all your drawers, and buy cushions and curtains and such, but I wanted to do that with you, so the bedroom would reflect your tastes, not mine and Emmett’s.” He laughed. “It was tough for us to restrain ourselves; we were having such a good time. But I want you to feel at home here.”

She was so touched. Her brother really loved her. And that tall man, Emmett, who had said that she had a beautiful smile and eyes like Justin, who did not even know her, had helped. There was a knock on the door and the man in question brought in the rest of her luggage. “You like it?” he asked with his awesome smile.

“I love it,” she replied, honestly. What a shame this hunk was gay! She decided she’d have a crush on Emmett anyway, since even if he’d been straight, he was at least thirty, and nothing would have ever come of it anyway…

She felt she needed some time alone to situate herself and relax. “Justin, I’m going to unpack now. I’m sure it’s going to take ‘til dinner. I kinda want to do it on my own. Is that all right?”

Justin smiled. God, her brother’s smile! How she’d missed it. It could light up a room.

“I love you, Molly. I’m really glad you’re here. Have fun unpacking. I’ll see you at dinner.” And he left.

She looked at her new domain and smiled, loving everything about it. She unzipped her first bag.
 

****************
 

Justin went down the stairs thinking that it all had gone very well. He wondered where Brian and the girls were. They were dropping JR at Michael and Ben’s, then going to his apartment where the girls would stay for the week. Gus would be at the loft with him and Brian in the evenings and at night. It was such piss poor timing that they’d come at a time when neither he nor Brian could free themselves during the day, but both Mel and Lindz had been incredibly supportive, understanding, and willing to accommodate their schedule.

Fuck, it was happening again. A passing thought of Brian, and now he was suddenly incredibly horny. He pressed on his erection, willing it down, but it only made things worse. For no apparent reason, it kept happening, his needing Brian like he needed air, when nothing in particular triggered it, like the other night at Babylon. Hopeful (and slightly desperate), he called Brian.

"Brian Kinney"

“Where are you?”

“Still at Michael’s”

“Can you find an excuse to leave for a while? I … God, Brian, I need a fuck in a big way.”

“Cynthia, I said no work today. Gus and the girls just arrived and…”

“Thank you! No more than an hour, I promise.”

“We were about to all go to the park, so it’s all right,” said Brian with a put-upon sigh. “But I am warning you. You get an hour, and then I turn off my phone. I’ll be at the office as soon as I can.”

“Thank god for your big couch. I’ll see you there.”

Justin loved to fuck, but until a week or so ago he had rarely felt the way he felt now (or like he’d felt last Wednesday, wanting Brian’s cock as if his life depended on it, not half an hour after a spectacular orgasm in the backroom). It was crazy, but he really thought that if he did not have his cock buried in Brian’s ass in the next few minutes he would lose his mind.

He got to the office first, stripped, and put a big towel on the couch. Just the memory of their previous fucks on that couch had him hard as a baseball bat. Brian came in, and Justin attacked him. He kissed him, invading his mouth, letting him know without words the kind of fucking he needed. Brian moaned in anticipation.

He removed Brian’s shirt while they kissed, and undid his jeans while Brian toed off his shoes. Justin dropped to his knees, pushing Brian’s jeans down at the same time, and took his hardening cock in his mouth. He loved feeling it grow harder with each of Brian’s heartbeats, and sucking it as it expanded to full girth. Brian’s hands were caressing his hair. He played with all the areas he had learned drove Brian crazy, before deep throating him and putting his hands on top of Brian’s, indicating what he wanted. Brian started fucking his mouth and Justin thought he was going to come he loved it so much. When he felt Brian explode in his throat, he actually had to concentrate not to climax right along with him.

In his post orgasmic glow, Brian was very malleable. Justin pulled him to the couch, and Brian lay down on his belly. Justin raised Brian’s ass in the air and spread his cheeks. A few broad tongue licks across the hole, and he sharpened his tongue to start fucking Brian with it. Brian smelled of forest floor and mushrooms, and the taste on his tongue was sweet. The walls were so soft and pliant as he followed the folds as deep as he could go with his tongue. He went back frequently to the very entrance, to stimulate pleasurably the thousands of nerve endings in the rim, and then lazily pushed back in, Brian vocalizing his appreciation beautifully.

They only had about a half hour left. While still rimming Brian, he sheathed his cock and put on plenty of lube. He squirted lube in Brian and on his rim as he turned him over. Brian’s gorgeous dick was hard again, and Brian was smiling at him. Justin placed the long legs around his hips, smiled at Brian, and breached his ass. Brian was open, but not much, and it was a very snug fit, one that had Justin growling in pleasure and Brian blowing his breath out all at once. When he was buried all the way, Justin waited for Brian to catch up. It didn’t take long. Brian loved Justin’s cock.

As soon as Brian touched his hip in their unconscious signal, Justin started fucking him to bring Brian the maximum pleasure and make up for his somewhat less than perfect preparation. It was so fucking good. Justin loved Brian’s ass, loved the way Brian moved with him, loved his moans of pleasure. He felt like it had been so long since he fucked his lover, even though it had probably been less than a week. He got off on the power, the control and the massive pleasure in his cock. He was lost in his own sensations when Brian’s orgasm, with neither of them stimulating his cock, caught him by surprise. He loved pumping through Brian’s contractions, and watching his face in his release.

Half a dozen short and fast thrusts in the still quivering tight tunnel, and eyes closed, he came as well, so long and hard he breathed through it so as not to pass out. They were smiling at each other as he gently pulled out. They went to rinse their sweaty bodies in the shower, exchanging kisses, and got dressed again. Brian took Justin in his arms.

“You really needed this, didn’t you?”

“I’m not sure why, but yes, I really did.”

Brian murmured in his neck, “Fuck, Justin… It was spectacular.”

Justin didn’t feel like he had been the most attentive of lovers, so he was really glad Brian had enjoyed himself. He smiled. “I do still love fucking you, you know that?”

“Yes. I know. And I must admit I love it when the top in you shows up so… forcefully. You are so good at it.”

Justin was getting hard again. “Brian, it’s nuts, but I can hardly wait for you to fuck me tonight.”

“Neither can I.” Brian pressed his palm to Justin’s erection. “Shit. I really have to go back.”

Justin grinned when Brian moved his hips to relocate his own erection to a more comfortable spot. They left the office, and kissed one last time, Brian heading back to Michael's, and Justin going grocery shopping to have some essentials around like graham crackers, bananas, peanut butter and milk for Gus’s visit.

Justin was so happy his sister was in town. He’d gone to the school she would attend, making sure he was happy with it, had studied the bus schedule that would get her there and had spent hours he did not have painting her room. Thank god for Emmett who'd been willing to shop for the furniture Justin had in mind, had seen to the placement of the hardwood, and had painted the remaining walls by himself. Justin owed him big time.

Brian had been amazingly supportive, going to the store for more paint and supplies several times so things would be ready in time, though they were under unbelievable pressure at work. Justin got incredibly hard again in the middle of the frozen food aisle, from just that passing thought of Brian. It was ridiculous. He grabbed the Rocky Road Gus liked, and headed for the cashier.

Once at the loft, he put the groceries away, took off his shoes and pants, and lay down, exhausted from his week. The pillow smelled of Brian, and he jerked off, coming in record time like a horny teenager. After cleaning himself up, brushing and flossing, he fell deeply asleep until Brian woke him up with a kiss, almost three hours later, in time to go to Debbie’s. He and Gus had been there for a while, but had played cards quietly to allow him some rest.

Gus was peeking around the open partition, a sweet smile on his face. He was not allowed in the bedroom. Brian had bought a cheap two-person dome tent that they put up in the office area and that was Gus’s “room” during his visits. It had an inflatable mattress, Rage sheets, white Christmas lights as a nightlight and a potty with a lid in case he needed to go at night which was incredibly rare. Gus loved it.

“Get up Daddy, or we’re gonna be late!” he called out.

“I bet you I’m ready before you finish putting on your shoes!” said Justin. Gus had just learned to tie his shoes, and it was excruciating to watch.

“No way!” said Gus, running to the front door to put said shoes on, allowing Justin to get out of bed in privacy. Brian grinned at him and he could well imagine why. He had on his socks, a long sleeved t-shirt, and a nice boner. Smiling back, he pulled on his jeans, tucking in his hard on.

“Poor Justin,” said Brian.

“I was dreaming about you,” explained Justin. He reached for Brian’s dick, which was as hard as his. “Poor Brian,” he said, smiling.

Brian eyes shone, and he replied, “I watched you sleep for a couple of minutes. That’s all it takes, these days…”

Justin threw some water on his face and ran wet hands through his hair.

“I win!” came a little voice by the door.

“You sure did,” admitted Justin. “But I’m ready now. Let’s go!”

They sat in the rented R-Class Mercedes seven-seater, went to pick up the girls, and headed to Deb's.
 

**************
 

Brian was very glad that when they got to Debbie’s, she had realized that with Molly’s addition to the family, Gus no longer in a baby chair and Drew in town, she was a couple of chairs short. Brian immediately volunteered to get some chairs from the loft and grabbing Justin, headed back out to get them.

They laughed all the way to the car. Justin blew him as he drove; They made out the entire elevator ride, and Brian fucked Justin as he leaned over the dining room table. They were driving back with a couple of chairs, when Justin asked him, “Brian, how long do you foresee this ‘honeymoon phase’ lasting?”

Brian smiled to himself. At first, their constant fucking had been driven by his needs mostly, but Justin was starting to experience the same things he’d had to live with since they had, tacitly, decided to be monogamous. His desire for Justin was constant, like a simmering brew, which every so often erupted into an uncontrolled boil.

Justin continued. “I seem to want you all the time, then there are times when it gets out of hand and I just need a fuck. It’s so intense…” He turned to Brian as they stopped at a light. He was so gorgeous in Brian’s eyes. The soft blond hair, the sculpted jaw, the sensuous lips, his blue eyes, and kissable round tipped nose… Justin smiled tentatively, unnerved, no doubt, by Brian's silent scrutiny.

“You are so fucking beautiful, Justin.”

That smile. Brian smiled back. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m sure it will ease off with time…”

That was a fucking lie. Brian had thought about it. Fucking was the easiest way for him to express his feelings, so he figured that as long as he … loved Justin, he would need to fuck him. Knowing his own nature, now that that love was part of him, it would never diminish. As irrepressibly as he loved Justin, his desire to fuck him would therefore be just as potent ten years from now as it was today.

Now it appeared that anytime Justin was faced with his attachment to Brian, he too wanted, needed, for them to feel the special closeness only brought about by sex. It promised years and years of an extremely satisfying sex life, a prospect that made Brian incredibly happy.

They got back just in time to eat. Because Molly and Gus were present, the comments they could have received about how far away Tremont and Fuller suddenly were and how long the drive had become were held back and they just sat down to knowing smirks, Brian with Gus to his left and Justin with Molly to his right.

It seemed Molly was as bright as her brother and could dish it out and take it. She was having a great time. Blake and Ted got her to blab about Justin's childhood, from his reluctance, as long as she could remember, to wear bathing suits at the beach or underwear under his clothes (with a particularly juicy tale about his snow pants splitting up the back during a snow ball fight at sky camp) to his habit of using babysitting her as a way to have the house to himself to be alone with his first boyfriend.

Carl wisely chose that time to request Gus’s assistance with making whipped cream for dessert in the kitchen, and she went on with the tale of one night hearing cries of what she assumed, as a seven year old, to be pain, coming from the living room and finding fifteen year old Justin enthusiastically fucking Ethan. From the look on their faces, she’d realized quickly that pain was not part of the equation, and being pretty smart, she had parlayed her illicit knowledge into a new pair of ice skates at Justin’s expenses the very next day. Justin was laughing with everyone, his blush making him even more attractive than normal.

After Michael playfully complained, she apologized for the fact that his room was now unrecognizable.

“Considering that I haven’t lived there for ten years, I think it was time, Molly.”

“Yes, and I’m so glad we now have the cowboy themed curtains in our den and a photo of adolescent Brian and Mikey prominently displayed on our fireplace. It’s just a shame those captain Astro sheets were for a single bed...” teased Ben.

“Ben,” said Michael, “do I have to spill the beans on the history of our Yogi bear throw?”

“Yes!” clamored the people around the table, but Michael and Ben were laughing with each other and started making out, so it was obvious they were not going to share with the rest of the group.

Molly was a great mimic, just like Justin, and had them all laughing with a little Yogi and Booboo imitation.

“My daddy can fake voices too. He can sound just like my daddy. Can you do my daddy?” asked Gus, who’d come back from the kitchen, licking whipped cream off the beaters.

Brian was amazed once again that though the sentence was ridiculously obscure, everybody knew whom Gus was talking about. This apparently included Molly, who immediately started a run-on sentence with multiple changes of tone, which was so Justin that everyone burst out laughing. Brian thought she was almost as good as Justin. She then gave a perfect rendition of Emmett talking to her about Drew, including the hand movements.

“No, no, Molly! I am so not in love with him. Just because I think about him, well you know, kinda all the time: that just …happens.
There are plenty of other catfish in the Mississippi… though none of them as hot and sexy as Drew, really, but that’s just because he’s my type…
Of course I like the way he smells! Anybody would. He just smells sooo Yum. Kinda sexy-spicy-musky…
Well he does have a marvelous body. Lots of guys do, but his is earned, you know? That’s why it’s so sexy… Can you believe that before I met Drew, I knew nothing about football? Oh, my god! I didn't know what I was missing! I love football! Of course I only ever watch the Bears. Who has time for more than one team…
I do spend a day at the spa before each of his visits, but that’s just a coincidence! He shows up every two months, just when I’m due for a wax, y’know?
No. I’m not in love with him. Not at all…”

There was an awkward silence, with a bright red Emmett glancing at a thoughtful Drew. Then Drew got up, threw a giggling Emmett over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, smacked his ass, eliciting a high pitch squeal and headed up the stairs, saying, “You may not be in love with me now, Honeycutt, but I’ll make sure you are before I’m done with you!”

As far as Brian was concerned, it was about time. Once the catcalls were over and everyone had calmed down, Mel said, “Gee, Molly that was a little risky…”

Molly gave her a mischievous smile. “I asked Emmett who the man was who was coming to dinner, and this was actually only a small extract from his monologue. He talked about Drew, and about how he was not in love with him for like, an hour… It was so obvious he was full of it! And then, the way Drew looked at him throughout dinner? Like Emmett was dessert? I think it was quite safe actually.”

Brian laughed with the others. Justin was shaking his head at his sister. Gus had come onto Brian’s lap, and was inadvertently applying pressure on his bladder, making a trip to the bathroom even more urgent than it had been before. Telling the boy he’d be right back, he deposited him on Justin’s lap and went to take care of his needs.

On his way back, he stopped and sat on the stairs, listening to the brouhaha of his family at dinner.

Eight months ago, Brian Fucking Kinney had gone to Seattle to get bottoming out of his system. He had been the Stud of Liberty Avenue, never fucking the same trick twice, unfeeling, disconnected, sarcastic, and so fucking lonely.

Eight short months. Brian had allowed himself to be a different man in Seattle, a different man with JT, and serendipity had forced his worlds to come together. Now he only fucked one man, only wanted one man, more and more every day. He’d shown he cared to a woman he’d always pretended to despise, and had found a friend and an ally. He’d blown his mystique out of the water admitting he had a boyfriend and bottomed in that relationship, only to find his close friends happy for him, and Liberty Avenue just as in awe of him as ever.

Eight months ago, Justin had been a top only, who collected fucking buddies like beads on a necklace, nicer than Brian on the surface, but just as hurtful in his refusal to see the damage his fucking habits caused. He had buried his feelings about a rape and had been denying his true nature. Brian looked at the blond man sitting at the table, with his son asleep on his lap, cradled lovingly in one arm, and his sister’s blond head on his shoulder, his other arm around her, laughing at someone’s joke.

Brian wondered which of them had changed the most. But it didn’t matter. He got up and came back to the table. His family and friends looked at him in welcome, smiles on their faces. The man he loved smiled at him, a smile so open, so fucking happy. Brian smiled back.

“Brian,” said Debbie, “Since you’re up, would you mind getting the fruit platter from the kitchen?”

She had not called him “asshole” in months. She never would have made such a request before, because he’d have sat back down, looking at her as if she were off her rocker, not even bothering with an answer.

Instead, he said, “If it means this interminable get-together is coming to an end and I get to go home and fuck Justin soon, I’ll even go back and get the coffee…”

At least three people said, “Bri-an…” but they were smiling, and Sunshine was blushing as Molly giggled. He went to the kitchen to retrieve the fruit, a smile on his lips. He was so fucking happy.

The end.


Mark Kilgore



Molly!



Don't they look alike?

Return to Spin and Fall