Spin and Fall

Chapter 15

When he’d woken up on Saturday morning, Brian had lain in bed savoring the weight and warmth of Justin’s body. Justin had still been so deep asleep after his long run and his mad dash escape that he’d not felt Brian rolling him off and getting up. Brian wasn’t sure what Justin was going to want to do about his attack, but he had a feeling it would be to ignore it, so he went to his computer and looked up the incident he remembered from three weeks ago.

A 24 year old blond woman, wound to the head, raped, left for dead. Married two years, preparing for a marathon… There just wasn’t the information he needed. He looked at the clock. 7:30. He checked on Justin. Still deep asleep. He called the precinct where he knew Carl Horvath worked, thinking he remembered the man was on Saturdays and Sundays from 7:00AM to 3:00PM and got through to him, saying he was his stepson.

“Michael? Is Debbie OK?” asked Carl, in a worried voice, before Brian even had time to say hello. It was nice to know Debbie was loved.

“Uh, Carl, this is Brian Kinney.”

“Is Debbie OK?”

“She’s fine, as far as I know. I just needed to talk to you…”

“Well,” Carl chuckled. “I guess you do think of her as your substitute mom, and she and I are kinda serious, so… Shit, now I’ve got two grownup boys and three grandkids! You sure know how to make a fellow feel his age… What can I do for you, Son?”

Brian chortled in appreciation, but then got right to his concern. “There was an attack on a young woman who was running on the Heritage Trail at night three weeks ago. Do you know anything about it?”

Carl got serious quickly. “Of course I do. It’s my case. Do you know something about it?” He sounded anxious for information.

“Was she attacked with a baseball bat?”

There was a moment of silence. “… Brian. How do you know that?”

“From a motorcycle?”

“Brian, if you know something, you need to come in.” Brian took that as a yes. So Justin had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Though it was still alarming, it was far less so than a personal vendetta…

“This is what I know, Carl, and all I know for now. A trick of mine went running last night and was attacked by a man on a motorcycle armed with a baseball bat. I don’t know if it has anything to do with that woman, or where he was at the time, or if he’s going to report it or not.”

“What hospital is he in?”

“He’s not. He’s fine. He got away.”

“He got away! How?”

“Apparently, he ran away. Carl, has there been more than one victim?”

“…None that got away, Brian. Encourage your friend to call me. Please.”

“Carl… It’s complicated.”

“… I would even consider talking to him privately. That’s how desperate we are for information. Oh shit, Brian, you said a trick. That means you don’t even know this guy’s name, right? Shit.”

“I’ll call you back if I happen to hear any more”.

“Yes. Please do that. He may know more than he thinks… If you run into him, tell him, Brian. He was lucky. Damn lucky…”

Brian was very glad he’d been vague, and that his tricking habits were so well known. He shouldn’t have called Carl behind Justin’s back. He checked on him again. Still sleeping, looking completely edible. Brian went back to the internet.

Justin had spent four or five years in Seattle. He’d been born and raised in Denver. He searched, rape, male, Denver, 1999, rape, teenager male, Denver, 2000.

He got nowhere. He needed more information than that to start with. He’d look at Justin’s resume on Monday… He erased his search, and went back to bed, deciding to enjoy his lover instead of searching through his past.

Justin’s skin was warm and soft as he slid in next to him. Brian was able to live out his nighttime fantasy, right up to that point. Then he took what Justin could give, and it was so, so good. Holding Justin afterwards, he wondered again what was wrong with him when he could feel this way, know that kind of closeness and pleasure and… love with someone, and still think that there ought to be more.

When Brian asked Justin about his attack the night before, Justin told him the details of what had happened, being very clinical about the whole experience.

“It’s a good thing I run there often during the day and knew that kissing gate was there. I only noticed it a while back because some really hot Pete Sampras look-alike used it to come out of the enclosure and get his ball. I bet you it’s not used that often. And kissing gates aren’t that common. It just wasn’t my time.”

He was so fucking matter of fact about it. Brian wasn’t. He didn’t say anything but held Justin tightly against him. Justin chuckled.

“Brian, get a grip. This is America. People get attacked randomly every day. I’m fine. Bad guys zero, good guys one. Don’t make a huge deal about it.”

His bravado was ridiculous. Brian was not buying it for a minute, especially if as he suspected, Justin had suffered an attack of a sexual nature before.

“You could have bee…”

“I wasn’t anything. It’s all good. Let’s move on.” That was it. Justin wanted to brush it under the rug, to forget about it, to ignore it. Anything was easier than facing his demons.

“You’re not even going to report it, are you?”

“Frankly, I don’t need the hassle. It’s my decision, Brian.”

“It’s ultimately your decision, Justin, but I still have a right to express my opinion on the matter, don’t I? What happened to you is similar to what happened to a young woman three weeks ago. I was wondering if it was the same attacker. She’s in the hospital, in a coma. Knowing that your attacker may have done it before, and most likely will do it again doesn’t change your mind?”

“There is no way to know if it was the same person, and it doesn’t change the fact that nothing happened to me. If I hadn’t been so tired, I might not even have told you…”

Brian felt so angry when Justin said that he was about to lose it, but Justin corrected himself just in time, his blue eyes looking at him candidly. “No, that’s not true. I would have told you. The entire night last night was just a little surreal. I was so glad you were home when I got back. I wanted to tell you that I understood your feelings about my tricking, and it was so good to hear what you had to say, but also, I was a little freaked I guess.” He grinned. “I needed you, Brian.”

“Lesbian,” said Brian against his mouth, grinning back.

“Oh, well,” said Justin. They kissed softly. Their bodies were responding to their closeness, so Justin added, “And oooh, look at that… I need you again. Here, let me show you…”

In the ebb of their afterglow, Brian asked, “The young woman’s case I told you about is Carl’s. He’s really eager for information. If I could convince him to talk to you privately, understanding your case may have nothing to do with hers, would you do it?”

“Brian, what the fuck? Why are you bringing it up again?” Justin started to roll out of bed, angry.

Brian held onto his wrist, and pulled him back close to him. “There have been traumatic events in your past, which have significant consequences on your life today. I wish I could help you free yourself from their hold on you, but I know I can’t. I just trust that you have done, and are doing all you can to manage them the best way possible, and give you the respect of not interfering.

“But I will be dammed if I let you sweep another trauma under the rug for it to come and haunt your dreams and add to your burden. Please, Justin. Talk to Carl. Help others, help yourself. Process this, and get over it, instead of pretending you are not affected by it.”

Justin's body language still said he wanted out of bed and away from Brian. Brian let go of Justin’s wrist. He’d said his piece. The ball was in Justin’s court. Justin lay there, tense and unhappy.

“I’m not a victim,” he said.

“No. You are not. You had the intelligence, the clarity of mind, the self-control and the physical strength to get yourself out of the situation. You’re not a victim. You’re a survivor.” Brian gently caressed Justin’s face, soothing the vertical winkle between his brows. Justin’s blue eyes finally met his.

“I was so fucking scared, Brian. Then I thought of you. I thought of the life we have ahead of us, and I couldn’t let him take that away. It’s not always going to be easy between us, but it’s what I want. You are all I want.”

Justin rolled so that he was in Brian’s embrace, his head on Brian’s shoulder, and Brian held him, loving him, caressing the blond hair, the warm neck, the silken skin of his back and arms. He pretended not to notice when Justin’s shoulders started to shake, and when his neck got wet. He just held him.

“After you left yesterday, I thought you might not come back,” Brian said softly. “It made me face some simple facts, Justin. I don’t want to be without you either. My life is simply better with you in it. Since it is what we both want, I have no doubt we can make it work.”

After a while, Justin conquered his emotions. “I… I need a shower,” he said. “Can you call Carl? If he’s willing, I’ll talk to him privately. Tell him not to get his hopes up, OK?” Justin had cleared his throat, ashamed of his moment of weakness, of his delayed fear and relief. Brian had asked Justin to face his feelings, leaving him to feel vulnerable and weak.

He did not want Justin to feel ashamed of being human, of feeling overwrought by something that would have left almost anyone else a complete mess, so he let himself imagine what it would have meant this morning, to go identify the body he loved at the morgue, to never hear Justin’s voice, his moans of pleasure again, to have lost his confidante, his lover, his collaborator, his… love. He too was the kind of man who detested showing any kind of sentimentality, and his natural reaction would be to hide the two tears rolling down his face. But he kissed Justin’s palm, letting him feel the wetness on his cheeks, re-establishing the balance between them.

“I am so glad you’re all right,” he said.

Justin, surprised, looked at him. The hazel eyes met the blue ones. Brian hoped Justin could read there all the things that were so hard for him to say, just like he could, in Justin’s eyes, see his gratefulness that Brian had shown his emotions, his joy at their connection, and his love, warm and wonderful.

Brian added ruefully, “I know you can take care of yourself. But right now, I just want to keep you here and lock the door, and never let you out of my sight. I’ll try not to let it get out of hand…”

Justin nodded and smiled. “You better join me in the shower after you talk to Carl, then.”

Brian grinned. “Will it be worth my while?”

“Hm… I might let you suck me…”

Carl was very glad to hear from Brian, and said he would be over, with a forensic guy, in about an hour. He promised the forensic guy was just there to help, and that the whole meeting would be off the record.

Brian did join Justin in the shower, and it was very worth it. Still feeling both thrilled yet uncertain about Justin’s decision to stop tricking, he asked Justin, “How are you planning to explain that you don’t fuck in the backroom anymore, and tell your fuck buddies that you’re off the market?”

“I don’t know… I could tell them I have a jealous boyfriend…” Brian realized Justin had said that innocently, not even teasing him.

“They’d expect you to produce him, at one point or another…”

“Hmm. True. Hey, I’ve got the perfect explanation! I’ll tell everyone I’ve developed an allergy to latex. Everybody knows polyurethane and polyisoprene don’t protect against HIV. So it would be perfect.”

“No way, Justin. There’s no going back on that. I think we should try this first and if it doesn’t work, if you’re climbing the walls and I can’t keep you satisfied alone, you should go back. I won’t even let you do it otherwise…”

“Brian, I meant what I said. I understand how you feel about my tricking. I would not go back and make you feel that way again.”

“I know you mean it, you self-sacrificing twat. But it’s too much. Let’s give ourselves a back door, please?”

“OK. I’ll say I have an allergy. The doctor thinks it’s to latex. I’m getting a bunch of tests. How is that? If I need to go back to tricking, I can say they were wrong, that it was… my lube, or something, and go back with some special kind of hypoallergenic lube. How is that?”

“Good. It’s actually very good. Justin, you do know what it means to me that you’re willing to do this, don’t you?”

Justin looked at Brian a long time, his blue eyes earnest, as if he was hesitating about asking something. Then he seemed to decide not to and looked away. Brian, feeling quite certain he knew what Justin had wanted to ask answered anyway.

“Yes, Justin. If you could bottom for me, I would stop tricking too. Same thing, we could try for three months, and you know what? At the end of three months, I bet you I wouldn’t go back. Instead, I would fuck you raw. I trick because I love to fuck. Before I met you, I never thought one man could love and want sex enough to keep me happy. But I think we both know you love to fuck just as much as I do. We are in many ways so perfectly compatible it’s scary. We would fuck each other to exhaustion and neither of us would ever need or want to fuck another soul...”

The blue eyes filled with tears, which is the last thing he’d wanted. He’d meant to say this as a good thing. Now he realized how stupid it had been, to think Justin had not asked because he’d been afraid Brian would say no. He’d not asked because he’d been afraid Brian would say exactly what he had said, and it could never happen, because Justin could never bottom…

“Fuck, Justin, I’m sorry. I’m an insensitive prick.”

“No, Brian. I’m sorry. I wish…”

“Stop it. Don’t wish it. What we have is fantastic and beautiful and I love it.” He smiled, showing Justin in that smile how much it meant to him. “And now it’s mine, all of it, and I don’t have to feel like I have to share the most precious thing in my life with anyone. It means so fucking much to me that you are even willing to try…”

Carl showed up on time, with a skinny guy with a narrow face covered in acne scars. Carl looked from Brian to Justin and back again, but made no comment. He asked Justin to tell him in his own words what had happened.

Justin went through his tale again. At the end, Carl got on the phone to send someone to the biking trail, apparently hoping for some kind of tire mark where the motorcycle had almost lost it’s balance.

“You are incredibly lucky, son, though you partially made your own luck by keeping a cool head. There were four other attacks since Sheryl Stevens. Two of the victims were found dead. Another one, like Sheryl, is in a coma, with very little hope of recovery. The fourth one has brain damage. He has full amnesia, cannot remember his own name. All the victims were running at night in a fairly well lit and well frequented area, just like you.”

He nodded to the forensic guy. “Now, Justin, we have some sounds of bikes idling. You’d be surprised how different they sound depending on the bike’s brand. Just listen to one, and tell me what you think.” The forensic guy opened his computer, and played the first sound.

“It was deeper, lower,” said Justin, without hesitation.

The man played another sound.

“It was faster.”

Another.

“It was less of a purr, more of a … staccato.”

Another, and on, and on until…

“Yes! That’s what it sounded like.”

Carl nodded to the forensic guy again. “Now, Justin, I know you only saw the bike in the darkness, and very briefly, but you are an artist, used to observing thing. You may have picked up more details than you think. Rob is going to show you some front silhouettes of bikes. Tell us what you think.”

“It was bigger.”

“The handles were straight”

“There were more angles, it was less rounded”

“The blinkers were out further.”

“It was lower to the ground”

“I think this is right. It’s hard to be sure…”

Rob was very excited. “You are amazing, actually. This is the bike which idling you identified. It’s the XR1200X BMW. It came on the market in 2004, with a price tag that deterred a lot of customers. If that’s really the bike, it will make out job a lot easier. I can’t believe there are a lot of them in the Pittsburgh area…”

Carl looked excited as well. “Thanks, Justin. This is fantastic.”

“Carl, can I ask you a question?” asked Justin. “The woman who was attacked was training for a marathon. I was doing a long run, I was attacked after about nine miles. Were the other runners long distance runners?”

“I’m not sure, why?”

“I ran on the road until I picked up the bike trail because Washington was too crowded. I was wondering if the others did the same. That could be how he finds his victims, just cruising on his bike for runners on the road, waiting for them to cut to one of the trails. He may be a runner himself…”

Carl nodded, deep in thought. Coming back to the present, he said, “Justin, you were a great help. I really appreciate you talking to me. And you boys should not worry. I’m not sure why you don’t want people to know about the two of you, but I’ll keep it to myself. I’ll see you both for dinner tomorrow evening.”

After they left, Justin was thoughtful for a while, and Brian left him alone, writing an e-mail to Lindz and Mel, allowing him time to think. Finally, Justin got up from the couch and went to the bedroom, probably to pack his clothes in preparation for going home. Brian was re-reading his e-mail when Justin called him.

“Uh… Brian. Could you come in here a minute?”

“Sure.” Brian sent his e-mail and went into the bedroom. He had not expected a smiling, naked Justin, playing with his cock, displayed to his best advantage on the dark blue sheets. Brian’s dick thought it was a very compelling sight. He did as well, and shed his clothing rather efficiently. He lay down on Justin, kissing him, caressing his soft white skin, and suddenly found himself on the bottom, Justin taking over the kiss and the caresses. Brian tried to roll them again, and Justin looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “Do I need to get the restraints out, Brian, or can you control your dominating tendencies?” Brian put his hands under the pillow and smiled.

Just as he had learned Justin’s body through the months, Justin seemed to know everything about his. Where to lick, where to bite, where to suck, where to lightly caress. He knew Brian’s kink for getting his armpit licked, just the right amount of pressure to use when biting his nipples, and how he got off on having the edge of his ribcage sucked until the blood rose to the surface.

Unlike Justin’s, his navel was a great source of delight, licked and rimmed and fucked with a pointy tongue. The crease between his thigh and torso begged for long warm kisses and received plenty. His small round balls found a warm home in Justin’s mouth, gently massaged with his tongue, rolled around lightly. Justin knew not to be rough, and Brian could relax and enjoy the sensations.

Rimming was something Justin did not do haphazardly. To him, it was a science, an art. He really could drive a man insane with it. He applied his skills to Brian’s entrance long enough to render him completely incoherent. It was heaven…

And he’d saved Brian’s favorite for last, a blowjob that had him within reach of his orgasm for the longest time, wave after wave of increasing pleasure that receded like the ocean, only to return, again and again, until the final tidal wave, bringing all the body’s ability for pleasure to the fore, sweeping everything else away with the strength of its blissful release, leaving Brian floating in a delightful glow.

Justin joined him at the head of the bed, a happy smile on his face.

“I forgot it was my birthday,” quipped Brian.

Justin let out a joyful laugh that Brian loved. “Not your birthday. Just me saying thank you.”

“I don’t know what for but you are fucking welcome… Anytime!”

Once again, Justin laughed. “You made me face what happened yesterday. You let me release my fears, you took away the embarrassment I felt at my loss of control, you made me relive the experience with a cool head, to help the police, and thanks to you, I feel empowered, not helpless.”

Obviously sensing Brian’s discomfort at the recognition, he added, “I considered a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolate, or even a pet rabbit, but in the end, I thought you’d probably like a really good orgasm better…”

“Damn,” said Brian. “I always wanted a pet rabbit…”

“Good to know…” joked Justin. “When is your birthday?”

They cracked up.

Justin stayed pretty late, and almost ran into Michael, Ben and Hunter on his way out. They must have missed each other by mere minutes.

“Brian, why is your car parked outside? You’ve been doing that a lot. Aren’t you worried it will be broken into?” asked Michael.

“You’re right. I’ve been a little careless lately. Are you ready to go?”

When Ben had mentioned that Hunter was going to need a laptop for college and that he’d get a discount as a member of the faculty at Carnegie Mellon, Brian had insisted on participating, as his graduation gift to the teenager. The others also wanted him to come along because he used computers in many different ways every day. Hunter would start school with the Rolls Royce of all laptops. He was pretty stoked.

He really raked it in, ending up with a 17’ power book G4, a great computer bag, and a Photoshop program on top of the normal gear. By the time he left them to go show his gift to Half-pint it was almost time to go to the diner.

Brian was excited to see Justin that evening, which was too embarrassing to consider very long, even to himself. But true nonetheless. He made sure he looked hot. As he was getting ready for the night, he was hyper-conscious of the huge sacrifice he was asking Justin to make, and wanted to remind him he had a good reason for making it.

Knowing he would not have to be worried about walking in on some familiar guy, like that small black kid, virtually making love with Justin in the back room, he felt more relaxed at the thought of going out that Saturday night than he had in months.

That small black kid or even worse, that tall top Theo, whose guts he really hated, because he and Justin were always talking and cracking up together. He was very good-looking, and very smart, and Brian did not like the way he looked hungrily at Justin when Justin was not paying attention…

Or Vince who could never keep his hands off Justin and was such a fucking good dancer, and apparently also a great kisser. He had seen Justin get hard just kissing that prick.

Or, worst of all, that fucker Jamal, that gorgeous light skinned black guy, looking like some Egyptian pharaoh with his light green eyes and his shaved head, who had been Justin’s latest and greatest fuck buddy, and who, like all of them except for the black kid, bottomed for no one else. God, he hated him too, always running some fucking live action commentary on how good Justin’s cock felt the entire time he had it up his ass. And Jamal could never get enough. There were some nights when Justin fucked him twice. Brian just knew this gorgeous asshole had wanted more, and he was so damn beautiful it was really hard not to feel a little threatened…

Brian just laughed to himself knowing he really hated them all and that it had nothing to do with them. Yeah, Brian didn’t do jealous… Right.

Brian was in a great mood at the diner, joking with Michael, teasing Emmett about having to cook some huge vegan wedding-feast, when the bride was also allergic to gluten. Ted smiled at him knowingly. He’d never called him back the night before, but it was obvious from both Brian and Justin’s buoyant moods that things had been worked out.

Brian loved watching Justin hustling two out of town fags at Woody’s. It was so arousing to know guys wanted Justin, wanted his perfect mouth around their cocks and knowing the privilege was now his and his only. Of course it was fun too, to know the guys didn’t stand a chance, and to see their crestfallen expressions when the little naïve blond kid who hadn’t been very good when playing against his friends turned into a pro…

Justin danced at Babylon, looking gorgeous, and as Brian walked out of the backroom a couple of times, he’d felt incredibly guilty. What he was asking for was such a double standard. Making sure Justin got decent blowjobs hardly helped him feel any better at all, but watching Justin talking with Theo for a long time and obviously really enjoying his company reminded him of why he’d asked him to stop tricking in the first place. He felt so fucking glad when the son of a bitch walked away looking wistful. That’s right, asshole. None of that for you… All mine…

It took only about two hours for him to learn through the grapevine of Justin’s sudden possible allergy to latex. Wow. Justin had not wasted any time. He was absolutely serious about this. They didn’t have another date lined up, something Brian would correct as soon as he got home, but Brian wanted them to be together so much he had to hold himself back from suggesting they meet later.

As Brian drove home alone that night, he realized the situation might be less difficult for him for a while, but that it was untenable in the long run. He had painted himself into a corner. He was a top, who was now the only sexual outlet for another top as sexually needy as he was. He could top more, by topping strangers, but he could never bottom less, because the man he loved had just, at his request, closed off all avenues to other partners.

Fuck. In his little fit of jealousy, he had not really thought things through. He loved Justin. Loved him so fucking much. He could not foresee a time where he’d want to be without him. In the immediate future, he would be relieved not to feel that unbeknownst to them, he was sharing his lover with half the other tops at Babylon.

One guy, Matthew, had annoyingly insisted on describing his backroom experience with Justin to Brian in vivid detail, actually telling him that he should really make an exception and have Justin fuck him because the experience was out of this world. Brian had wanted to brain him right there on the bar. No more of that, but…

As he entered the empty loft, Brian realized that was another complication. Now that Justin didn’t trick, the way things were going (the way Brian wanted them to go…), meant bottoming more and more. They saw each other three nights a week. The nights kept starting earlier, and ending later. There had been a couple of times when Justin had “caught a ride with Brian to Debbie’s” and well, then stayed till Monday morning after a Saturday night date.

And the more time went by, the more often Brian wanted them to be together. Every time he had an evening alone, he wondered, like this evening, why he was alone and not with Justin. And tricking did nothing to alleviate that feeling. Pretty soon, now that Justin was not fucking anyone else, and since Brian really ultimately wanted him to move in, he would be bottoming all the fucking time.

Brian had already asked himself what he would say once he and Justin were found out. Because it would be stupid to think it would never happen. At first, nobody would believe he bottomed, but then again, nobody would believe Justin did either. But it wouldn’t take long for everyone to remember that Justin had had is dick up the ass of every top out there, and people would naturally draw the right conclusion.

How would he feel with everyone knowing he was Justin’s bottom? Emmett? God, Mikey? Mikey would never forgive him. The other tops Justin had fucked seemed to have had no problems maintaining their top status. But he was not just any top. He was Brian Fucking Kinney, the stud of Liberty, the myth. He could go in the backroom dragging anyone off the floor, fuck them and leave without even saying a word. He could go in there and with just one significant look, get any guy to suck his cock. He was the undisputed alpha male. It was unthinkable that he should take it up the ass from the little blond twink. For seventeen years he had gone as far as traveling out of town under his middle name to get fucked, for heaven's sake…

But how much did it really matter now? The day they were found out was the day he could seriously start thinking on how to approach Justin about moving in together. Which would mean bottoming every fucking day, probably twice a day… Well, Justin was so independent he might never want to move in. But then how long could he expect Justin to be satisfied by blowjobs only? To a blowjob, Justin preferred a good rimming. Hardly anyone rimmed in the back room for rimming’s sake, most guys sucked at it and it was usually a prep to anal. And let’s face it, Justin loved to fuck. What a fucking conundrum!

Brian was ready for bed. Internally laughing at himself, he went and got the eau de toilette spray from the bag containing the leftovers of Kyle’s birthday present, and very lightly sprayed the pillow Justin had slept on the night before, turning it over.

He turned off the lights. The scent was very light, just an echo, really. Perfect. Still mocking himself, he fell asleep smiling.
 

**********

Justin wore a white cotton suit with a blue-striped shirt by Corneliani on Monday morning, and he knew he looked hot. He could not wait for Brian to see him in it. Silly, teasing his lover in such a way… It was a boring meeting, so he decided to show his work on Walmoor, just to try and change people’s attitude. It worked. Sandy loved it, (that little baby fairy was so damn adorable…) and immediately came up with a really nice way to use it and then everybody threw in their two cents, including Ted and Cynthia and pretty soon, Sandy had the whole thing worked out and she was psyched about putting it all down into the proposal.

Justin was smiling, because now people were awake, and the rest of the meeting was animated and productive. At one point, his eyes met Brian’s, and the raw intensity of the love he saw there completely undid him. He was hoping they were getting together that night, and could not wait to check is g-mail, either to write an e-mail to offer it, or answer Aidan’s if he’d beaten him to it.

He knew that during lunch he had a couple of hours scheduled to work on a proposal for Lucifer brand shoes, a client of Vangard in Chicago. He’d yet to give it any thought or even do research about the company. That would be one of his projects that morning.

As soon as he sat at his desk, he checked his e-mails. There was a message from his boss on the business one, as well as an e-mail from his sister. He opened Brian’s, keeping Molly’s for later. It was time for her usual location report, and it always gave him a stomach ache.

Justin

Just reminding you of our meeting from 12:00 to 2:00 re: Lucifer Shoes.

Looking forward to it.

Brian

And one on his g-mail from Aidan.

JT,

Lucifer has fucking hooves! What a stupid name for a company. I have no ideas yet on how to spin this. I think you may just have to fuck some creativity into me.

What do you think? The desk? Leaning over the couch? On the couch? I’m game…

And please tell me you are free tonight. I almost showed up uninvited at your house last night just to sleep with you. I fucking miss you, JT.

Aidan.


Holy shit! Brian was proposing they fuck at the office! Justin could not believe it. There had been that one blowjob, early on, because he could not resist, but they had been very good since then. He thought it was a bad idea to mix their private and professional lives, but he had not had a real fuck since Saturday morning and was kind of dying… No, not kinda… He was fucking dying. Or dying from not fucking, whichever fit best… This not tricking business was much more difficult than he’d thought. So, it wasn’t going to be too hard at all to let himself be convinced…

Stuart entered with his morning latte. Thank god. He needed the caffeine at this time of the morning, even if he’d slept rather well. His personal assistant stood in front of his desk, tapping his lip with his finger. That usually meant he had some important, though maybe not so pleasant communication.

“Justin, you know how you insisted I made sure you keep your dental cleaning appointment, even if you try to reschedule, because you hate dental cleanings and you procrastinate about them, but you know they are really important?”

“Hey! I have like, two more months at least before the next one!”

“Yes, you do. And you remember how you insisted I schedule an HIV test for you every three months, and make you go to that? And schedule a yearly medical checkup as well?”

“Yes. Same thing though. That was just what? A month ago?” Where the hell was Stuart going with this?

“Yes. Well, since you have entrusted me with your health, I took the liberty to make you another appointment. And I am going to make you keep it, just like I do the others. It’s this afternoon, at 3:00 o’clock.”

What the fuck? An appointment for what? “What are you talking about Stuart?”

Stuart took a deep breath, and rushed in. “I know this very good psychologist, well, psychiatrist actually, but who cares. And you are going to go talk to him about why you have panic attacks and why you can’t keep food down and why you sleep so poorly that some days you look like a zombie and I practically have to hook you to a latte IV… And don’t try to pretend you’re not throwing up half the food you consume and give me this nonsense about it’s too hot to eat or whatever it is you tell your friends. You’ve lost 15 lbs since I’ve started working for you. You may look better than ever in your suits, but you are going in and that’s that. And I’m driving you, because the last thing you need is to have a panic attack while you drive.”

Justin was shocked. Shocked that Stuart was aware of his problems keeping food down and sleeping, and also that the man would take it upon himself to make that kind of an appointment without consulting him first. “Stuart, this is none of your business. I really resent you meddling with my private life. By doing this, you are jeopardizing our work relationship. Cancel the fucking appointment right now.”

“Justin, if you are going to be difficult about this, I will go and discuss your regular stress-induced vomiting and your panic attacks with your boyfriend. I swear I will.”

What the hell? “Boyfriend? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, that’s right.” Stuart rolled his eyes. “I’m supposed to be oblivious to the fact that our boss is head over heels in love with you and that you more than return the favor. Hmm. Then I guess if you refuse to go, I’ll just have to tell Brian, who is not your boyfriend, about your attacks. See what he thinks, you know, as your boss…”

“Stuart, you’re a shit. Threatening to reveal my private problems to anyone, never mind my… boss, is underhanded and completely out of line.”

“And you are an idiot, not taking care of your mental health as diligently as you do your physical heath. You are going to your appointment with Dr. Marlin and that’s final. I’m not even going to discuss it with you again. We leave at 2:30. Suck it up, Justin.”

Justin sighed. He could plain refuse to go. He could fire Stuart. Or he could suck it up and put up with an hour of useless therapy. It had been over four years, after all. If nothing else, maybe there were meds that might work better at this point. He gave one more half-hearted effort to get out of it. “I’ve gone that route before, Stuart, and it helped me a lot. But there are some things even the best trained psychologist can’t do. I’ve done fine for four years. I can handle it.”

Stuart looked at him with great compassion. “Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t have to handle it, Justin? If you actually got better? I’ll make you a deal. You let me take you to your appointment with Marlin. If after you’re done, you decide it’s a waste of time, I’ll leave you alone about it. But is your life so perfect that it couldn’t use some improvements? Come on, Justin. Be honest.”

“We have a deal. But it’s a waste of time, believe me.”

Justin put both his lunch fuck appointment and his 3:00PM fucked-up one out of his mind and tried to think of a campaign idea for Lucifer Shoes. He researched the hiking shoe company, which expected people to fork over $200.00 dollars for shoes which, according to all authorities, were not significantly better than shoes half their price. They were made in the US, but so were a couple of others. He looked at the information they had on the company’s current client base. Their information was limited since they had not been hired by the company. They were trying to steal them from Vangard…

He looked at the qualities of the shoes, trying to find something unique, or at least a unique combination of things they could market. The shoes were good, with great ankle and arch support, good grip in wet and dry conditions, waterproof, with good cushioning and good stride guidance. Yet, so were many, many others. What set them apart aside from their outrageous price tags? Looks? Color choices? They left kind of a cute sole imprint behind… Their shoelaces were made of a nylon/cotton mix so they stayed tied better than the average lace and didn’t require double knots, which were a bitch to remove once hiking shoes were wet and muddy… They used no leather at all, great for animal protection freaks… Though he still had no brilliant thought, after two hours of cramming, he had a decent handle on the product.

He quit and went to tour the workroom, checking on everyone’s progress. All of them were maxed out. They really needed to add someone to the team. Cathy was doing well, working much more diligently now that the instructions from the other end were more complete. Justin still “translated” the instructions for Ingrid, and always had to make sure she stuck to them, but she’d become very popular with the ad execs for the neatness and precision of her work.

He made sure to pass Bob some of the more fun accounts, and the man seemed to have regained his love for creativity. He was really very good. His work also greatly benefitted from Stuart’s choice of font, and now that Stuart actually worked for his pay, Bob was not such an asshole to him anymore.

Viv was singing as she worked, wearing headphones, listening to her own music. She’d never re-plugged her phone. She was given her work, did it, sent it out, and waited for written requests for changes. Her work life was now making her really happy. She looked 100% better, wearing her hair French braided, some light makeup, and pretty dresses. Her stress level had gone down so much, she was a different woman. Still humming and with a smile, she handed Justin her latest work, for an organic baby food company, and it was great, exactly what Abe had asked for but with flair and humor. Justin gave her a thumb's up. She nodded and went back to her next project.

Everyone was doing great, today, and though they were all handling heavy loads, his organization kept things rolling fairly stress free. Justin went back to his office. It was 11:30. He sighed and opened Molly’s e-mail.

Hey Justin.

Time for the usual report.

Hobbes: Still owns that bar on Main. Going to Santa Fe, New Mexico to visit his brother Mark from December 17th to December 27th. No other trips planned.

Moody: (Info from Hobbes) Still an asshole. In the last six months, one arrest for domestic violence, another DWI. (He’s lost his license for a year this time.) Still drives. Still works at Terrapin Station as a bouncer. His wife started divorce procedures again, but still lives with him. Not enough money for a vacation. No trips ahead.

Hudson: Lost his job at Children's. Moved from Denver to Golden to work for Coors. Still single. Still ardent Methodist. No vacations for a year. No trip planned.

Fog: Still in Coleman. Had homemade-knife fight with other inmate in showers. Got another year added to his sentence. So, 5 years to go.

Barnett: Still in Utah, working for his uncle. Just had 4th child, first daughter. No trip planned.

I love you big brother. I want to see you. When can I visit? I promise I wouldn’t tell anyone where you are.

You should get a check back for the tuition you paid to the Thatcher School for Performing Arts in Ojai, California. They wouldn’t take me without parental consent, the bastards… So I’m going to the Denver School of the Arts. Better than St James, anyway!

Tell me about you. Please. Soon, I hope.

Love,

Molly.

Justin felt sick to his stomach again. He both needed the information, and hated having it. Nothing much new for those sons of bitches. Nowhere near him, that’s all that mattered. None of them had moved to Pennsylvania or owned a motorcycle. He’d write Molly back later.

Stuart came in. “Almost time to go to your appointment with the boss, Justin.” He frowned. “Are you all right? You look a little green… I was going to offer you some food but… Hmm. How about a milkshake? I can whip one up in no time flat. I’ll use nonfat milk and sorbet, so it won’t be heavy at all.”

“Sounds great. Where the hell do you keep your supplies?”

“I am resourceful. Lean your head back. Close your eyes and breathe lightly. Think about those pesky Lucifer Shoes. Stupid name, that. Be right back.”

Justin leaned back in his chair. Was he really about to have another panic attack? Stuart seemed to think so. He closed his eyes and did think about those pesky Lucifer Shoes. How about, “Hell on your wallet, heaven on your feet?” He smiled. Brian would like that. “Hike as if the hounds of hell were on your tail.”

Lucifer. The angel of light. Cast from heaven for being arrogant. The most beautiful of all the angels. He really didn’t know much about Christian mythology. How was Lucifer related to Satan? Beelzebub? Azazel? Mephistopheles? Were they all names for the devil? Different aspects of the devil? Which one had horns and hooves?

Lucifer. Angel of light. Light on your feet, with the wings of an angel, go to heaven on earth… It all sucked.

“Here’s your shake, Justin. Time to go. You have to be back at two because you’re meeting with Simon Etzioni, the man who might become the fifth artist in your department, replacing little ’ole me… Don’t be late. He’ll be meeting Brian right after, and we will be going to your appointment.”

Sipping his deliciously refreshing milkshake, Justin made his way to Brian’s office. He put his head in Cynthia’s office to say “Hi!” She smiled at him. He knocked on Brian’s door and walked in. Uh… No Brian. He turned around to go back out and inquire from Cynthia about the man’s whereabouts when Brian, who’d apparently been behind the door, naked and aroused, closed it and locked it.

“You’re finally here,” he said, taking him in his arms. He kissed Justin on the lips, licking the seam, commenting “Hmm… Strawberries,” as his nimble fingers started divesting Justin quickly of his suit.

“I love your suit, Justin,” he commented, “but you know that,” he added, biting his lower lip lightly. “You always save the best for Mondays, expressly to drive me crazy.”

Justin smiled at him, not even bothering to admit the truth of it, taking sips of his shake between kisses, and between changing it from one hand to the other as his clothes came off. He couldn’t believe Brian had not been talking of a quickie before their cram session, but of actual fully naked lovemaking. He finished his shake just as his pants came down and he stepped out of them, completely nude. Brian took the tall glass out of his hand and put it on a shelf before kissing him one last time and descending to his knees to take Justin’s now quite rigid cock in his mouth.

Justin leaned against the door. Oh, yes… It felt so good. He’d not gotten off since Saturday night. Brian’s large soft hands were caressing his body, everywhere he could reach, while his gifted mouth made love to his dick. It was so, so nice. But Justin wanted to fuck. Brian seemed to sense that, leaving his cock and standing again, kissing his way back up Justin’s body.

“Where to?” he asked against his lips, their bodies only millimeters apart, feather touching each other, increasing their arousal.

“The couch,” said Justin. “I want you to be comfortable while I fuck you.”

It looked as if Brian had anticipated that, because there was a large towel on the couch cushions. Justin smiled. Brian stood next to the couch, looking gorgeous, his cock at full mast, his self-satisfied smile showing that he was perfectly conscious of how good he looked. Justin ran his hand over the beautiful skin, enjoying the feel of the muscles beneath the softness.

“Lie on your belly,” Justin said.

He wanted his skin to touch Brian’s as much as possible while he was inside him. He went from very aroused to insanely so when he saw Brian had a plug in place. He’d never seen a plug in Brian before. It was a deep lavender color and contrasted beautifully with his tanned skin. He lay on top of Brian, kissing his neck and shoulders, biting lightly at their junction where it drove Brian crazy. He teased all his more sensitive areas on his way down, finally nibbling the crease where Brian’s ass met his thighs, another delight filled spot for him.

He put on one of the condoms placed on the arm of the couch covering it liberally with lube, before gently teasing the plug out. It was smaller in girth than the head of his cock, which made his slow penetration incredibly satisfying for the both of them.

In that position, even though Brian’s ass was lean, Justin did lose some depth of penetration, but the physical closeness was amazing. He had a hand beneath Brian, his fingers wrapped around his cock, and his mouth could reach the base of Brian’s neck, and the top of his shoulders. He slipped in and out of his body by arching his back, then curling his pelvis in. Brian moved in counterpoint, pushing his hard cock through Justin’s tight fist as a result.

Justin was whispering to Brian, “Tight, so tight, so hot, so soft, I love it inside you, on top of you, against you. You smell so good.” He licked his neck, and sucked on it, careful not to leave a mark at that telling spot. “You taste good too. You are beautiful, Brian. I’m going to move faster, now. Raise your ass if you want me deeper…”

Brian slid his knees forward so his ass was in the air. Justin got on his knees as well, between Brian’s legs and gripped his hips. Ahhh… He gained over an inch of penetration, and now he had full view of his cock going in and out of Brian, of Brian’s muscular back, of his arms, braced against the armrest of the couch so every ounce of force exerted by Justin would pound his ass and not be wasted moving him forward.

Justin tilted his hips just so, so that on his way out the edge of the head of his cock would drag all along Brian’s prostate, milking it in the most pleasurable way. Brian moaned in appreciation with each retreat of his cock, and pushed back hard each time Justin dove in forward, eliciting a moan from Justin. It had been pleasurable, then it was amazingly good, and finally it was fucking perfect, as their matings always were.

Brian arched his back, increasing the depth again, Justin’s straight cock sliding far and deep into Brian’s straight rectum. Justin let go of one hip and reached for Brian’s cock again with his hand. He enclosed it again in his fist, letting their motions push it in and out. Brian’s rectum seemed to shrink around his cock, and he said, “Justin, please, oh Justin, please…”

Justin knew what Brian was asking, and let go, his orgasm hitting him hard and taking his breath away. As soon as Brian felt him pulse in his ass, he came as well, his come all over Justin’s hand, his growl of pleasure unmistakable, drawing Justin’s release half as long again as it would have lasted otherwise.

“Brian, Brian, Brian…”

“Yes, fuck yes, soo good…”

Justin collapsed on Brian’s back, both of them still deep in their sea of bliss, their heartbeats resonating together in Brian’s ribcage. Such a simple, common fuck, in a completely normal position, and yet so mind-blowingly good. A few more minutes and Brian turned over, smiling at Justin who grinned back.

“I so needed this,” said Justin.

“I figured you did.”

“It’s silly though. We’ll be together tonight. I could have waited, you know. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to fuck at the office…”

“I was thinking of having a regular lunch hour, like everyone else does around here, and doing this every lunchtime, actually. So… You don’t approve?”

Fucking Brian every day for an hour at lunch? Fuck yes! Oh my god, yes, yes, yes… Justin cleared his throat and tried to act calm. “Well, during a regular lunch hour is definitely not during office hours, and therefore cannot really be construed as fucking at work. I certainly have no objections.” Then he cracked up. “Oh my god, Brian, yes! Yes, please! Oh fuck, look at my cock if you want to know how I feel about it!”

Brian kissed his laughing mouth, and the kiss deepened to one of those “almost as good as fucking” kisses, which always led to a “Why aren’t we fucking?” kiss which of course led to Justin putting on a new condom, Brian putting his knees on Justin’s shoulders, and Justin pushing inside of Brian again, looking in his large hazel eyes, loving his slow blinks, his sigh of contentment, he anticipatory smile.

Justin always felt so much more in charge in this position, so much more responsible for giving Brian as much pleasure as he knew how, and he certainly knew how to give him a lot. It always led to Brian thinking he had died and gone to heaven, before the words lost their meaning and he was nothing but a pleasure filled floating entity before his orgasm exploded him into hundreds of pleasure filled bubbles that popped one at a time, until he was as good as dead.

He was welcomed back to reality by Justin’s smile. Justin pulled out of him, still hard, and removed the condom. Brian reached for his cock with a shaky hand, and had barely touched him when, with Brian’s name on his lips, Justin ejaculated all over Brian’s belly and chest. Justin rested against Brian’s chest, and they stayed that way, relaxing against each other for a while.

“We should shower. I have a meeting with the representative from Toy World at 2:00 o’clock.”

“Toy World? Wow, they’re big!”

“Yes, but their market share is being eaten up by Big-Q. They feel their current advertising agency is not up to the task. I hate the Big-Q. They suck. I’d love to take the toy market back from them and give it back to a toy store… But first, I have to convince this guy we can do the job.”

“Do you have a presentation?”

They got up from the couch, Brian taking the come-stained towel with him. “No. He just called this morning. In the Pitts for something else, and somebody dropped our name. I have no idea how to go about it. Wing it, as usual…”

“How are Sim and Sam doing against REI?”

“Fabulously. They used to have 40% of the market, which dropped to 22% by the time we got a hold of them, with REI during that time going from 0 to 32%. Now Sim and Sam are up to 57%, and REI down to 12.”

The hot water felt great. How fair was it that the CEO had his own shower, when the Art Director had to use the public toilet?

“Use that. It’s a different product, but it’s the same problem. Tell him we can do for Toy World against Big-Q what we did for Sim and Sam against REI. Show him the finished commercial. It’s beautiful.” Brian was washing Justin’s hair. Justin loved when Brian washed his hair. Hey. Was this his Aqua Allegoria shampoo? Cool.

“I could, except the employees of Toy World are the same junior college dropouts as the employees at the Big-Q. Unlike those of Sim and Sam, they don’t know anymore about toys, age appropriateness, and so on than the people at Big-Q”

Justin noticed the Aqua Allegoria body soap. About a third was missing, and he realized it was the stuff Brian had gotten back from Kyle because he didn’t want the trick to smell like Justin anymore. He smiled and used it, choosing not to remark on it.

“Point taken. Maybe they should change that. Select their most senior employees and give them special training, send them to toy factories to watch manufacturing, have classes with toy’s sell reps. Then we could use that to fight Big-Q. They need some kind of an edge for us to work with. Right now, as far as I know, they have the same toys, at the same prices, the same physical set up, with the same unhelpful sales force. And they are not offering a one-stop shopping for the holidays. They’re pretty much doomed if they don’t make some changes…”

“I think you’re right. If they don’t agree to some changes, we shouldn’t take the contract, because while we may be able to pull people back in for a while, they won’t stay in the long run, and then we’ll look like failures.”

They were getting dressed again, Brian in an Armani monochromatic beige suit, shirt and tie where only the jacket was of a slightly different tone than the rest. It was much too tame for Justin, but perfect with Brian‘s model body and classic features. Two very handsome, sharply dressed men. Justin dried his hair with the towel. Though he had plenty of it, it was very fine and dried very quickly.

He started running his fingers through it, but Brian came close and did it for him. Then he stopped and just looked at Justin. Putting a hand behind his head, he kissed him lightly, as if hesitantly. Justin parted his lips, and Brian kissed him again, penetrating his mouth with his tongue, but softly, almost reverently. Brian looked at him again, caressing the contours of his face with his thumbs. Justin felt so loved.

“I’ll see you tonight, Justin,” said Brian, a small catch in his voice.

“Yes. Later.”

“Later.”

TBC.....

Justin's suit

 

Brian's Armani

 

Oh, and Jamal...

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