In His Kiss

Chapter 3

Justin’s first eight months in NY.

Justin had been dancing for the pleasure of it, as he did at least two or three times a week, when the most beautiful man he’d ever seen appeared in his line of vision. He wore jeans that emphasized his long legs, and a sleeveless black T that showed gorgeous arms. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, that were soulful and warm, and lips… that mouth… Justin had the strangest thought: ‘I have seen the face of God’. He laughed at himself, but the pull the man exerted on him was almost physical. As they danced for a while, they got closer and closer to each other.

Before he knew it, the man was holding his neck and hips possessively, and Justin was caressing the silk on steel of his arms. When the man slid a leg between his, Justin couldn’t help but rub himself on it, scarily close to climaxing. Then the man pulled him closer, their bodies pressed against each other and he melted into the embrace and would have followed the promise in the man’s eyes anywhere, starting with the back room.

The change of music brought him back to earth, and he decided that before anything else he needed to drink some water. He had been dancing for a couple of hours, and his mouth was dry, in no condition for kissing, which he seriously intended to do as soon as possible.

Karl was at the bar. He was a good friend. Justin had designed his sister’s wedding invitations. He knew all the employees of Essengy. Chaz had introduced him when he had presented the new logo and design to his crew. He now considered a few of them good friends. Of course he was also at the club a lot.

Karl leaned over and Justin hated what he had to say. “Watch out for that guy, Justin. I hear he is a great fuck, but he has a one time only policy, and no matter how charming he is before the fact, once he pulls his dick out, he’s a real bastard.”

Justin nodded, grateful for the warning, considering how much knowing this hurt already, when he had so far only danced with the guy.

He turned back to the man, basking again in the amazing warmth and soulfulness of his eyes, even now that he knew the charm to be just a means to an end. Better get as far from this guy as quickly as possible.

“Hi, I’m Justin.”

“I’m Brian.” God! That look! Like you were the only person on earth, the love of his life. It was a thing of beauty. Justin was really glad he knew better. He gave the man his best smile.

“I’m sorry, Brian. I don’t like one-offs. And since you don’t look like the type to drop to your knees and give me a quick blow in the VIP room, I think we should find other partners.”

Now Brian looked completely nonplussed. That made it much easier to turn away and go back to the dance floor, though part of Justin wanted to go back, wanted to believe that other look.

***

He called Daphne as soon as he got home, even though it was the middle of the night.

“Daph, I have met the perfect man.”

“Oooo-Kay. This better be good. It’s two in the morning.”

“It is good. “ Justin started doodling on one of his pads.

“What’s his name?”

“Brian.”

“And? Come on, Justin. You just woke me up. I’m not going to play twenty questions!”

“He is beautiful. Dark hair, tall, soulful eyes, and his mouth, my god!” His pencil was racing, Brian’s face, apparently burned in the back of his eyelids, appearing in perfect precision on the paper. “I’m sending you a drawing.”

“And he’s nice?”

“No. Apparently he is a total prick, who fucks you and never wants anything to do with you again.”

“Did he fuck you?” Daphne sounded panicked.

“No! Of course not! Not that I didn’t want him to, but Karl, one of the bartenders warned me off.”

“You would have let him?”

“Probably. The way he looks at you, you just feel… special, unique, wanted. Like he’s been waiting for you all his life or something. And he does this thing with his lips, rolls them under, kind of, like he’s dying to tell you something, but holds it back at the last minute. He is… I don’t know. I actually thought, get this: “ I’ve seen the face of God.” I’m not kidding. How weird is that?”

“Send me that picture.”

The perfect likeness of Brian was looking back at him from the page.

“No way. I changed my mind, I’m keeping it.”

Daphne laughed at him. “You got it bad, Justin.”

“You have no idea…”

***

For a couple of weeks, every time Justin went to the club, he could not help but look for Brian. But he never showed again, and knowing how many clubs there were in New York, Justin eventually figured they would never see each other again. He didn’t know whether to feel pissed or relieved.

He loved his new school. PIFA had been good, but he felt that at the time he had not really known what he wanted to get out of his education. His time in LA had been strange, as he had been playing catch up to their curriculum, studying oil painting, acrylic painting and drawn animation. His courses now were more balanced, with figure drawing, classical and architectural studies, acrylics and art history.

He had moved in with seven of his classmates in a beautiful four bedroom brownstone belonging to an old lady, alumni of the school, who now lived in Florida and insisted that only students of the school should be renting, and that they should be two to a room. His rent was laughable even though only six of them paid it.

Two of his classmates, James and Pete (nicknamed Petunia for unfathomable reasons) were champions in dumpster diving, something Justin had known nothing about before meeting them. They brought home dairy barely past the due date from the Safeway dumpster, vegetables that had looked better but could still be eaten, if the bad spots were removed from the Whole Food Market, and even misshapen chocolates from the dumpster behind a Godiva store upstate. They also shopped at coops and went upstate twice a month to buy directly from farms. They bought Ramen Noodles by the case at ten cents a packet. So they provided food in lieu of rent.

The upkeep of the house was well divided. Justin was the kitchen clean up guy. He had worked enough as a busboy to be very good and very efficient at it. One of the girls, Phuong, did all their laundry in her parents’ Laundromat, once a week. As long as you had enough clothes and did not miss the laundry pickup, it was great. Three others, Cassandra, Lilah and Rory, took turns cooking and preparing lunches for everyone, and finally, Andrew, Justin’s roommate, kept the common areas clean.

Justin had never lived so cheaply in his life. He even got to go to the club for free. His major expenses were his art supplies. He had found a busboy job and worked from seven to nine AM and twelve to two PM. It was right next to campus, and most of the patrons were students, so the tips were awful, but after work it took him five minutes to go to classes.

From word of mouth, he got quite a bit of work designing business cards, invitations and even ads for small businesses. He loved the work, though he could not imagine doing it full time. It was easy for him, his creativity endless when it came to making up interesting designs.

Andrew was from Washington State, completely introverted and spent most of his free time reading. He did not understand at all Justin’s love of clubbing, and Justin could not fathom being in a vibrant city and spending so much time sitting, reading and drinking tea. As long as Justin came and went quietly they got along fabulously.

He felt he had much more in common with Lilah, one of his cooking roommates. She sometimes came with him to the club, and they spent a lot of time in the museums. They both loved painting and often reserved slots together when there was open studio time.

Justin was constantly busy, and for the first time in his life felt like a whole person. He was learning who he was, what was important to him, and what he wanted out of the future.

In August, he got a month off from school. The first two weeks, he and Lilah spent their vacation painting, visiting galleries, and partying at the club. Lilah flew to Hawaii with her folks for the rest of the break, and Daphne came to spend some time with him. She was starting a Master’s program in Psychology in September. They hadn’t seen each other in almost a year, and yet, it was as if they hadn’t been apart. Of course they spoke on the phone several times a week, but still, Justin had thought there might be a time of adaptation after so long. Instead, it was as if the conversation had never ended.

It was the day before she arrived, five months after they had first met, that Justin saw Brian again. The weather was incredibly hot and sticky, and Justin had gone to the club wearing the shorts and high tops he had worn all day. He was shirtless, having tucked his T in his belt, and was enjoying the relative coolness of the club, though his body was covered with a sheen of sweat. He needed a haircut badly. His fringe was so long he could tuck it behind his ears, though on the dance floor his hair was just pushed straight back, wet with sweat.

Suddenly arms came around him from behind, and a mouth started nibbling at the back of his neck. Strangely, even after all these months, Justin had no doubt whose they were. He could feel a large erection against his crack, and pushed back against it. He also let his head fall back on the shoulder behind him, melting into the embrace and caressing the arms around him.

Brian’s legs were outside his, his knees bend to better match their bodies’ alignment. It had to be hard on his knees. Surely he could not keep it up very long.

“I want to eat your ass, and fuck you all night long,” he whispered in Justin’s ear.

“Considering I haven’t showered in about eighteen hours, I would not recommend it,” was Justin’s answer, though getting rimmed was one of his most exciting fantasies, since he had never had the pleasure.

“All the better,” answered Brian, still speaking low, directly in his ear. “I want to taste and smell you, not soap.”

Justin could not help it: His cock was immediately as hard as it ever got, and he shivered in Brian’s arms. Brian was working his hands down the front of Justin’s shorts, heedless of the people around them. Justin swiveled in his arms, facing him. Brian pulled to his full height, but bend down to lick and nibble on Justin’s lower lip.

Justin could not resist. Being in Brian’s arms felt so amazingly right. He opened his mouth, and welcomed Brian’s tongue with his. Their mouths seemed to know each other. The kiss was slow, languorous, incredibly hot and intimate. It was, hands down, the best kiss Justin had ever experienced.

He thought about how perfect sex would be between them, if it was anything like this kiss, and reminded himself of how difficult it would be physically and emotionally to know this depth of harmony once and then never again, being discarded like yesterday’s newspaper the morning after.

That thought gave him the strength to break away and step back. He smiled up at Brian, still dancing with him, but now from about a foot away. He did not try to hide his glance at the impressive bulge in Brian’s pants, and shamelessly enjoyed looking at his gorgeous face and body. He was beautiful, wearing a black wife beater and crisp white linen pants. How they could look crisp in this heat and humidity, and after Justin had pressed himself so wantonly against Brian’s crotch, he had no idea.

Brian’s all-knowing smile was incredibly sexy and irritating. Justin turned his back on the man, and made his way to the nearest bar. Mark, who looked as if he should drive heavy equipment for a living, but was in fact a kindergarten teacher, was tending bar. Without asking, he handed Justin an ice-cold bottle of water.

“You know about that guy, right?” he confirmed.

Justin drained the whole bottle before answering. “Yes. Which is why I am here drinking water, and not dragging him to the VIP room…”

Mark nodded. “Beautiful fucker, isn’t he,” he added thoughtfully.

Justin sighed. That was an understatement. Mark poured a J&B, and Justin and Brian passed each other, arms and shoulders brushing, as Justin headed back to the dance floor. His erection was not going anywhere.

Once bodies surrounded him, he started dancing again.

A guy with a military cut noticed his boner, and cupped it with his hand. He leaned into Justin. “I’d be glad to take care of this for you, if you want,” he said, with a smile. Justin smiled back, and they headed for the VIP room. They picked an alcove, because Justin liked a modicum of privacy, and GI Joe went to work. He was good, going slow and diving deep, no teeth, all velvety warmth. Justin let himself lean against the wall, and closed his eyes.

Brian’s face, his smile, his eyes, his amazing body were all he could think about. His trick was taking his time, and that was perfect.

“Oh God, oh God, your cock feels so good.“

Justin was pulled out of his fantasy by a voice not three feet away.

He opened his eyes, to meet Brian’s, who was fucking a blond boy against the wall of the alcove. Brian’s eyes never left Justin’s face, and Justin couldn’t look away. Brian’s hips were moving at the same pace as his own trick’s mouth on his prick, and it was the most arousing thing he had ever seen. The blond Brian was fucking was now mumbling incoherently. He came, noisily, though both of Brian’s hands were on his hips, and he had both of his on the wall.

Brian did not stop, but continued fucking him, changing his angle a little. When Justin’s trick started to move faster, so did Brian. He did that thing with his lips, but never stopped looking at Justin. Finally, he brought a hand to the blond’s cock getting it fully erect again, and pulling it hard and fast.

Justin unconsciously matched his rhythm, fucking his trick’s mouth. He could tell exactly when Brian started to come, from the light in his eyes, and he let himself go too, shooting come in the back of his trick’s throat. Brian gave him his annoying, all knowing smile. Justin closed his eyes for a moment. The blond had come again as well, and his own guy had brought himself off.

By the time he reopened his eyes Brian was walking away. He had literally pulled out and walked. Justin had not even noticed him removing the condom. The blond next to him was still in the aftershock of his orgasm, resting his head on his arm. It was Justin who handed him a towel from the neat piles on a perfectly located shelf.

The guy who had blown him tucked him back in his shorts after wiping his hands, and gave him a peck, saying with a smile, ”You have a very pretty cock,” before walking off. Justin turned to the blond.

“All right?”

The guy looked a little shaky buttoning his 501’s. “Why are the best fucks always the biggest jerks?” he asked. He was not really talking to him, but Justin felt compelled to shrug in response. They ended up leaving the VIP room at the same time and dancing together until it was time for Justin to head home.

He leaned to the blond. “See you.”

As he was turning away, the guy caught his arm, and gave him a smile. “Thanks.”

Justin smiled back, and walked away.

***

He picked up Daphne at the airport the next day.

“I saw him again.”

Because it was Daphne, even after five months she knew immediately whom he was talking about.

“At the club?”

“Yes. We kissed. I couldn’t help it.”

“Any good?”

“Only the best kiss ever. God, I wanted him so bad.”

“But you didn’t…”

“No! Of course not. I wanted to though.”

“So what did you do?”

“Let this other guy blow me. He was nice, and gave really good head.”

“Good.”

“Except that in the middle of it, Brian started fucking this other blond three feet away from us. We were staring at each other the whole time. We even came together. It was so… erotic. Like fucking with our eyes.”

“Was he any good?”

“Well, the guy came twice, the first time just from being fucked. Yeah, I would say he’s pretty good. But I felt bad for his trick.”

“Why?”

“As soon as Brian was done coming, I mean like the instant he was done, Brian just walked away. The blond was still shuddering and Brian had already left the room. I think he did it just to piss me off. I’m sure he’s not always that much of an asshole. He didn’t even hand the guy a towel. It was…heartless. He was punishing the guy for me refusing him. He’s a complete jerk.”

“Well, just keep that in mind.”

“That won’t be a problem, believe me.”

***

He and Daphne had a blast together. Justin liked Lilah, but Daphne was his soul sister. They went to Essengy several times, but never ran into Brian. He learned however that Coolidge, another bartender at the club who was a student at NYU during the day, was straight. It was a surprise, as he had always assumed all the employees were as gay as the owner and the clientele. Coolidge and Daphne got along really well, and he hung out with them quite a bit, keeping Daphne company when Justin had to go to work.

The last weekend she was there, he received a note, and a nice check from the gallery in LA where he had once been part of a show for young artists. He had left two pieces that were unsold with the gallery. They had said they would store them for him. All the smaller pieces had sold, but these were quite large.

They were his favorites, but he could neither afford to ship them over nor find a place to put them in the New York apartment. That they had sold came as a very pleasant surprise. He had not been aware the Gallery had taken them out of storage to show them again. He now had plenty of money to buy his first quarter’s supplies, and bought matching silver bracelets for Daphne and himself.

A few years ago, they had had braided rope ones, which had disintegrated over many months. The new ones were Moebius strips, with the words ‘stand strong’ and ‘stand proud’ engraved at regular intervals.

It was a reminder of the months Daphne had stood by him, as he recovered from being assaulted by a classmate because he was a ‘faggot’, after hanging out in the gay area of Pittsburgh. He could not have done it without her, or her parents, who had taken him in when his father, upon discovering his son’s orientation, had kicked him out of the house.

His mother had paid the hospital bills, and the rehab, as well as his two years at PIFA, but had been unable to offer anything more than monetary support without losing her marriage. All support had ceased when he had moved in with Ethan. Now he was completely on his own.
 

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