The Grand Hotel

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Justin’s POV

“It was your father.”

I stare at Brian and then shake my head. “No. That can’t be true.”

He holds me gently. “It’s true, Sunshine. I wouldn’t lie about that.”

“And when I took the knife from him in the hall and stabbed him?”

“He died.”

“So, he’s…”

“Still here. He’s the one who’s been tormenting us. He‘s always been here, but it‘s been worse since you came back.”

“What am I, Brian?” I shudder and pull away from Brian’s embrace. “When I took the knife and cut my wrists because all I wanted was to be with you?”

“You didn’t die, or rather technically you did, but Daphne found you and saved you.”

“Bitch!” I scream as I throw myself off the bed. I look around frantically. “Where are my clothes?”

Brian stares at me from his spot on the bed. “Justin, what are you doing?”

“I’m getting answers,” I reply coldly as I throw open some drawers, pulling out random clothing.

“I don’t think you should do this,” Brian stands up to find something of his own to put on. “I think you need to rest and calm down.”

I turn on him. “Five years, Brian. We’ve been apart for five years for no other reason than her selfishness.” I pull on the sweats and t-shirt I found.

“That’s not true. There are things you don’t know,” he tries to reason with me as he pulls on his own jeans and sweater.

“Well, then I guess it’s finally fucking time that I found out isn’t it?”

I storm out of the room in search of my so called best friend with Brian right on my heels.

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Daphne’s POV

Lindsay guides me inside Debbie’s room as I sob into her chest. My heart aches from everything that just happened. I know Justin is going to be so furious with me. And Dana; why did Craig have to taint her so? My heart clenches as I miss my little girl. Even after five years, it still hurts to think of what could have been.

I am blessed to be able to see her, but it’s not the same as having her with me. Feeling her growing inside me was the most amazing feeling in the world. I still remember Justin crawling in bed with me from time to time just to feel her kicking. We would lay for hours, just talking about all the neat things we were going to do with her, and how much our lives had changed. He would kiss and rub my belly, but I never had delusions that we would ever be romantically involved. I knew what Justin and I shared, and I was so thankful he stood behind me with the pregnancy.

In one day it was all ripped away from me.

I can feel Lindsay’s tears against my forehead. I draw back and she looks down at me as she caresses my cheek. “I’m so sorry sweetie; about everything. I know how scared you must have been then, and are now.” She swallows heavily. “I wish things were different too. I wish you had someone to go through this with you.”

I choke back my tears and touch Lindsay’s hands. “I have you all now. I look around and see Debbie and Vic, and I am so thankful to have them too. “I was so scared tonight. I thought I…” I can feel the tears streaming down my face. “I thought I lost Justin all over again when I saw the blood, and then the elevator started to drop.” I remember how limp he was. What if I have already lost him again? I start having trouble breathing.

Vic comes up to me and slowly guides me out of Lindsay’s embrace to sit down. He sits next to me and looks away for a moment and then looks me directly in the eyes. “I’m not supposed to say this. I could get in big trouble, but I’m willing to take the risk. He laughs slightly and winks. Then his face becomes more sincere. “You were protected tonight. Justin was going to be okay and you’re both going to be okay with your friendship.” He pats me on the knee. “It won’t be easy at first, but it will all work out.” He smiles kindly. “And you have an amazing little girl.”

I gulp and look at him in wonder. “What?”

He chuckles softly. “Dana is wonderful. Mel and I have both been looking after her.” I feel my body become limp and I sag on to Vic’s shoulder letting my tears fall. “She never blamed you. She loves you and Justin so much.”

I lift up my head, wiping my tears away. “Really?”

He nods at me and I feel a little lighter in spirit knowing Vic and Mel have been looking after her.

Debbie smiles at me and pats my cheek lovingly, then pulls me into a tight hug. “You’re amongst family now. We take care of each other.”

I smile at her and she sets a cup of tea in front of me.

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Justin’s POV

I fly into Deb’s room without even knocking and march over to where Daphne is sitting. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Justin…I…” she looks at me nervously and then over to Brian. “He knows about Craig?”

“Yeah,” I hear my lover reply from over my shoulder.

“You lied to me! Everyone lied to me!” I start to frantically pace the room, not even caring that Deb, Lindsay and Vic are all there staring at me. “Everyone told me he died in a car accident on a fucking business trip. I remember the fucking funeral! How could he have done those horrible things?”

“There was no funeral,” she whispers.

“What the fuck?” I stare at her.

“I planted that memory in your mind, Justin. Your mother was so horrified by what Craig had done, of course his memory was not honored, but you didn’t remember any of it so we had to create an explanation.”

“Oh my God,” is all I can say as I put a bracing hand on the wall. Brian walks over to me. “Justin, you need to sit down.” He tries to guide me to a chair.

I shrug him off. “Please don’t,” I say to him, ignoring the hurt in his eyes as he moves away to his own chair.

I eye Daphne again. “And the bracelets? You put those fucking bracelets on me didn’t you? What did you do to those to make me forget? What else have you done to fuck up my mind so I would stay with you?” The tears start rolling down my cheeks. “If you knew I loved him so much why did you save me?” My knees start to give out as my mind relives the memory of watching Brian die in the elevator again and I finally take Brian’s advice and move over to lower myself down into the nearest chair. “Why the fuck didn’t you just let me go to him?”

Daphne stands and makes her way over to where I’m sitting in the chair. She slowly lowers herself to her knees in front of me. “I saved you because it was not your time,” she says quietly. “If you had died with Brian that night, Craig would have all of you instead of just Brian, Lindsay and Gus.” She looks down to the floor and then back up with tears shining in her eyes. “And I saved you that night because I thought our daughter deserved to know her father.”

I sit there stunned at Daphne’s revelation. “Daughter?” is all I can manage to say.

“Yes, Justin, I was six months pregnant with your child. But as it turned out, the stress of it all was too much and I lost her too.”

“I di…I didn’t know,” I stutter. The image of me and Daphne’s one and only sexual encounter flashes through my brain. God, she was pregnant. “All the more reason you should have told me. I could have shared your pain,” I admonish her.

She chuckles mirthlessly and looks me in the eye again. “You had more than enough of your own pain, Justin, and despite all of my efforts, for the most part I still lost you too.”

I struggle to comprehend and accept all that she has said, but I still can't help but feel betrayed. "You should have told me," I say again stubbornly.

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Daphne’s POV

I choke back tears as I look into my best friend’s hollow eyes. I have never seen him so mad at me. It's almost as though I am a void in his mind.

Gently I take hold of his hand and he tries to pull away, but I hang on tightly. "Justin, you have got to listen to me. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t give you those bracelets to make you forget, even though I know that’s how it seems." His eyes soften and I know he is ready to listen. "I was so distraught after I lost Dana, and you didn’t remember her Justin." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "You didn’t even remember I was carrying your child. That was the whole reason we took that trip in the first place.”

He looks at me stunned. "What? I thought we took the trip for one last bit of freedom before college started."

I smiled at him weakly. "In some ways we did, but we also took the trip to figure out what we were going to do. No one knew I was pregnant, and when we arrived here it was like we found a family in Lindsay, Gus and Brian. They were both so understanding of our situation after it finally came out in the open."

“We were all looking forward to her arrival. We loved both you and Daphne very much and wanted you to stay with us so we could all help raise Dana,” Lindsay adds softly from her place across the room.

Justin lowers his head. "Why did I have the bracelets? Why did you hide my scars? How come you never told me about Dana?"

Gently I touch his chin with my fingertips, lifting his head to look at me. I clear my throat when I see the tears filling his eyes. "After the murders you were not the same, Justin. I literally lost you and you lost yourself in your own mind; in your own nightmares. It got so bad that you wouldn’t eat or sleep. All you would do was just stare at those awful scars. The more you looked at them, the more withdrawn you became."

I let go of his hand and stand up, beginning to pace nervously. "It got so bad your mother didn’t know what to do. She was so scared for you." I run my hand through my hair, wondering how I can say this to Justin delicately. "She had to put you in a place you would be safe, Justin. She came home and found you with a blade to your wrist and she was afraid you would try and kill yourself again. You never talked to anyone about it. In fact, you never talked at all."

“Oh my God,” I hear Brian whisper from his chair as he leans his head into his hands.

Justin grabs my hands and his lips quiver slightly. "What do you mean by a safe place?"

I pull another chair over and sit down right in front of him, taking hold of his hands again. This time he seems more willing to let me comfort him. "She put you in a hospital that dealt with situations like yours."

He stares at me in disbelief. "Are you trying to tell me my mother put me in a mental hospital?" His voice is harsh and he practically yells the question.

I draw back slightly and speak timidly. "Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying Justin."

He lets go of my hand and stands to leave. I see Brian stand up too, ready to follow his lover if he needs to. "Fuck! Fuck you and fuck my mother too!" Justin yells at me angrily.

I stand up to block him from moving. "You sit the fuck down and you listen to me Justin Taylor! I am not in the mood for your drama queen act right now. You were gone, Justin; totally gone. She had no choice!" I yell in frustration as I grab him by his shoulders. "Do you understand me? She had no choice and I didn’t have a choice either. I couldn’t stand seeing you like that anymore. That hospital wasn’t helping you. You just remained in the same condition. One afternoon I found those silver bracelets and took them home. And you are right; I did work a spell over them. Not to make you forget, but to help you heal. To mend your heart and bring you back to us and it did. Those bracelets covered your scars and you no longer looked at then. You were coming around, you started to talk to me again and slowly you were starting to eat on your own. Then a time came that you even wanted to draw again. But when your mother brought you home she was still scared. She said you would wake in the night screaming and you often talked about hearing a baby crying."

He looks at me solemnly. "I remember that."

I nod my head and smile weakly. "We started to hang out again and that was when I knew you came back from your ordeal different. That you didn’t see the world as everyone else did. You saw things that no one else was able to. Your mother thought maybe you where schizophrenic, but I knew you weren’t. I knew somehow you had acquired a gift. You died and when you came back to life you were able to see the dead. Your mother didn’t believe me. She wanted to have you checked out by doctors but I couldn’t let her do that to you again."

Justin gulped. "What happened then?"

“I asked you to come and move in with me and you wanted to.” I playfully push his shoulder with mine. “Your mother was so pissed at both of us, but there was no way I was going to let you be locked away again. “

I watch as a single tear trickles down his cheek. "Daphne, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, anything."

"The little girl I used to see you with from time to time. The one you would baby-sit? You weren’t baby-sitting her were you?"

I lay my head in the palms of my hands and I can feel my own emotions taking over. "No, Justin, she..." I lay my hands on my knees and look in to his blue orbs. "That's Dana. She’s our little girl. If I had explained who she was then, I would have had to explain everything else. I was hoping you would remember slowly on your own but you never did." I looked down at my hands. "Last month I felt Brian's spirit. Somehow he knew what happened to you. He couldn’t see you or be with you, but he knew you forgot everything and he was so broken. He called to me to bring you home and to help you to remember. That it was time to put everything in the past."

Justin looks at Brian and then back to me, seeming a bit confused. "He called you?"

I can’t help but chuckle. "Not by phone. More like in my thoughts. He talked to me."

"Daphne I don’t understand. Why after all this time?"

"I felt you were getting restless and in the process of trying to remember." Brian says as he stands up and sits on the arm of Justin’s chair. He leans over and places a soft kiss on Justin’s head. “I was stuck behind a barrier, but we still had a strong connection. I could feel your spirit struggling to reach out for the truth. When I died and you tried to take your own life it was like a part of me was always with you. I could feel and hear you, but you could not hear or feel me because you turned all of your memories of me off.”

I reach up and lightly caress Justin’s cheek and Brian briefly brushes his hand against mine. "To be honest I saw the signs too,” I say. “But I tried to ignore them."

“But I didn’t remember anything about Brian, or this place, until we got here."

I smile a little and pat his hand. "It was coming out in your art Justin. You re-created that portrait of all of you from your memory. And do you remember the gazebos you started painting and drawing?" He nods his head. "When we lived here you use to take your easel and paints out to the back lawns to create. You would stay out there for hours and Brian was concerned about the Arizona heat and your pale skin. He decided to have a gazebo built for you." I sigh softly as Brian wraps an arm around Justin. "He told you it was for the guests to have a place to drink their coffee in the morning, but you knew he meant it only for you. And oddly enough you were the only one who mysteriously ever used it."

Justin shakes his head and I can see he is about to cry. “This is all just so much to digest. I don’t understand it all, but I know it’s true.” He turns to Brian. “I’m sorry I didn’t remember you. I don’t know how I could ever forget someone like you.”

Brian closes his eyes and opens them again to reveal tears in his hazel orbs. “That’s in the past now.”

Justin looks over at me and moving one of his hands away from Brian he takes hold of my hand. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you; that you had to go through losing Dana alone.” His body begins to shake and Brian wipes away the tears that seep from Justin’s eyes. “I remember now. How I would hold you and feel her kick inside you. It was an amazing feeling.”

I try to keep my own tears at bay. “Yes it was, and I am sorry Justin, for keeping everything from you.” I kiss him briefly on the lips. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

I can hear a small girl’s giggles and I look up to see Dana peaking around Vic. He pats her head. “Go ahead honey. Go see mommy and daddy.”

I watch as Dana crawls up onto Justin’s lap and cups her hands on his face. She kisses him on the lips with a big smack. “I Love you Daddy.”

Tears form in his eyes. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know.”

She giggles. “It doesn’t matter. You know me now.” She smiles brightly and takes hold of my hand. “I love you too mommy.” Then she looks over to Brian. “And I love you too, Daddy Brian.”

He leans down and kisses her on the forehead. “I love you too, pumpkin.” He quickly turns his head away and I can see a glisten of tears in his eyes

She looks over to Lindsay. “And I love Aunty Lindsay.”

Lindsay smiles, blowing her a kiss. “I love you too sweetheart.”

Dana grins from ear to ear. “ And I love Grandma Debbie and Uncle Vic and Auntie Melanie and Cousin Gus and Uncle Michael and Uncle Ben and Auntie Em; even uncle Teddy. But he will never know about me. Nope, nope, nope! He always goes to sleep before he can see me.” She holds her belly and laughs as she bounces on Justin’s knee clapping her hands together. Justin laughs and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Debbie laughs loudly too. “She is a spirited little lady!”

We all laugh and Dana pushes out her chest proudly, and smiling places her hands in her lap as she sits up properly.

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Craig’s POV

I sit in my spot in the bushes and wait. He comes out here almost every day to draw or paint or whatever the fuck those namby pampy artsy types do.

Christ, I can’t believe I actually fathered him. It makes me sick to see the fucking mess he’s made of his life.

When he called his mother at the end of the summer to tell us he wasn’t coming home, and would not be starting Dartmouth in the fall like we planned, I went into shock. Jennifer tried to placate me and convince me it was only a phase. She said there would be plenty of time to go to college and he just needed time to find himself, but I knew there was something she wasn’t telling me.

Finally a week ago, she let it slip. He wasn’t just here on an extended vacation, he had fallen in love. He’s decided to stay here permanently and go to a local art school.

As if that wasn’t bad enough the person he thinks he’s in love with is a man. Jennifer tried to convince me that we always knew he was gay. How could we miss it?

Bullshit! My only son is not some cock sucking faggot! I don’t know who this Brian Kinney thinks he is, but he cannot have my son. I’ve come back to get him and take him home. He will start the winter term at Dartmouth and forget this little phase of his.

I arrived here five days ago and have been watching and waiting. Jennifer thinks I’m on a business trip and in a way I am. I’m taking care of family business.

Here he comes. I sit up and peer through the small hole I’ve made in the bushes for my little observation spot. He is humming to himself, carrying an easel and his paint box. He runs up the steps of the gazebo and sets up his things just as he does every day.

Fucking waste of time painting. I settle in to watch and wait. I’m biding my time until I’m ready to reveal myself and take my son home where he belongs.

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Justin’s POV

After I say good bye to Dana and we leave Debbie’s room I take hold of Brian’s hand. I ask him to take me to my gazebo and he closes his eyes tightly then nods his head.

I feel like I’m in a fog after everything I have just learned. We walk down a small wooded path into a more secluded area. I notice right away how quiet and serene it is. He speaks softly. “This is where you came to be alone and be creative.” Brian raises a brow and smirks. “Or sometimes we came here to get away from all the hustle and bustle of the hotel. Daphne is right though, I did have it built for you. At the time things like that were a bit difficult for me to admit.”

I smile at his confession as we make our way up the gazebo steps. “So, you really did care about me?” I turn to look directly at Brian and bat my lashes at him.

He snickers and shakes his head. “You tell me. You always said you were on to me.”

I jump up on the last step. “I so remember that.”

Brian kisses me softly on the nose then chuckles. “It’s nice seeing your smile again.” I see sadness spread across is face

Gently I brush my finger across his jaw line. “What is it?”

Brian leans up against the gazebo and lights a cigarette. He shakes his head and clears his throat. “Nothing. I’m just etching your memory in my mind so I can remember you through time.”

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his lips softly. “Brian, I don’t understand. Why? We’re here together now. Everything is going to be okay.”

He shakes his head and inhales deeply from his cigarette, staring at me pointedly. “You don‘t know that. Hell, I don‘t know that. You being here has changed everything.” He takes a deep breath and I can see the pain in his eyes. “What we have now may end real soon.”

I feel my heart sinking. “Are you trying to push me away?”

I see the pain in his eyes. “No, I’m not.” He states firmly. “It’s just how it is. You’re alive, and I’m fucking dead.”

I feel my heart racing and I begin to panic, not wanting to be parted from my lover again. “Then I’ll join you, Brian.” I hold up my wrist. “I’ll finish the job this time.”

Quickly he takes hold of my wrist and holds it to his face as he kisses it softly. “If you do I will lose you forever. That’s why you survived,” he replies seriously. “If you kill yourself Justin, you are lost to me and to yourself; much like you were before.” I can hear the fear and anger in his voice. “Are you listening?”

I nod my head.

“Good, because if you do something that stupid again I will have to kill you myself.” He winks but there is a little bitterness in his tone and expression.

Brian reaches his hand out to mine and I interlink our fingers. He smiles at me and begins to relax. “Does this place bring back any memories?”

I turn around and look outside the Gazebo, tracing my free hand over the wooden frame. Brian moves behind me and wraps me in his embrace, our hands still locked together. I feel his breath upon my neck when he rests his head on my shoulder. Memories flood into my thoughts as though I am taken back in time.

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5 years earlier

I can feel the changing of the weather as the October breeze softly brushes across my skin. It‘s not cold, really, just comfortable. Much better than the raging hot days of the summer. I look out into the desert valley and am amazed how breath taken I am with the mountains and hills around me. I look around the oak gazebo. I still can’t believe Brian had this built for me. He told me it would be a nice place for the guests. They could have a quiet place to enjoy the outdoors and be shaded from the Arizona sun and it could also be place to sit and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee. The funny thing is I have never seen any of our guests out here.

I laugh to myself at how Brian shows his affection. He can be very brash but he does things to let me know how he feels without having to say anything.

I study the portrait of our family that I am almost finished painting and then smile when I smell the scent of Brian’s cologne. I can feel the slight tickle of a paintbrush prickle my tender flesh as it glides against my neck wet with paint. l feel Brian’s warm breath against the cool mark on my skin as he licks his tongue over the paint then up to my ear nibbling softly. He presses his body firmly against mine and I can’t help but smile when his erection presses against my ass making me instantly feel my own arousal. I turn around and look at Brian, who has a wild lustful look in his eyes. I chuckle and take hold of his hand which is holding the paintbrush. “What are you doing?”

Brian smirks at me, his eyes twinkling with licentious hunger. He holds up the brush playfully then swipes it across my jaw. He leans down licking the mark on my cheek, then trailing his tongue to my ear he whispers. “I wanted to paint too.”

“Brian?” I snicker slightly, “you really should not be licking acrylic paints.”

He chuckles. “It‘s edible paint,” he replies huskily as he swipes the brush against my lips and captures them in a passionate kiss. My taste buds tingle from the cinnamon flavor dancing across my tongue. I moan again and wrap my hand around the back of Brian’s neck, deepening the kiss. I arch my back up against a side beam of the gazebo placing my right leg around Brian’s hip, drawing him in closer. Brian bends his knees slightly, letting our hard, cloth covered cocks press against each other. I gasp when I feel his twitch against mine.

Brian smirks, then dips the paintbrush in a small tray and trails the brush down my neck, his warm moist tongue following the trail sending chills through my body. I shiver with all the sensations he is causing to course through my body.

Brian slowly unbuttons my shirt, guiding the material over my shoulders and off my arms. Swiftly he spins me around and I gasp, grasping onto one of the beams that hold up the roof of the gazebo. I can feel the wet cool paint against the tender flesh of my neck and shoulders. Brian kisses and licks his tongue lavishly over the cool paint warming it with his erotic lips. He twirls his tongue urgently over my skin as he nips lightly down my spine. I shiver again, and moaning with desire, Brian runs his hands down to my waist and moves his fingers in the waistband of my pants and briefs. He then moves his hands around the front of my pants.

I feel my dick ache in anticipation. Brian’s finger lightly touches the tip of my leaking cock and I lean my head back to rest it against his firm chest. I can hear Brian’s heart beating rapidly and then he slowly lowers my pants. I suck in a breath as the cool breeze touches my skin. He glides the palm of his hand over my cock, stroking it gently as he presses his hard erection against my ass. My eyes flutter and roll back when Brian circles the tip of his finger over my sensitive nipple.

He chuckles huskily against my skin when my body jolts in pure pleasure. He draws back for a moment dipping the brush again. I can feel the wet paint trickle down my spine and then Brian’s warm breath soothes the coolness, sending tingling sensations down my back and leg. “Jesus Brian!” I moan out trying to find some kind of control. I breathe out huskily “What if someone sees us?”

“That’s what makes it so hot.” He leans his head against my back and then slowly and sensually runs the tip of his tongue down my spine. He draws back slightly and I turn to look at him as he smiles at me seductively. He takes off his shirt and tossing it on a bench he kneels down behind me.

Sensually he kisses the base of my spine then places soft kisses on my ass. Brian’s hands rubs my mounds tenderly and gently part my cheeks. I hear him suck in a breath and then groan deeply. Softly he kisses inside my crevice and then trails his tongue teasingly around my hole.

I moan in frustration as I buck my hips back. He chuckles and suddenly I feel his moist tongue twirl against my hole. I tilt my head back smiling and let another groan escape my lips. Brian clasps his hands around my hips firmly and buries his face inside my ass. I squirm in ecstasy as his tongue enters me. I utter a weak protest when I feel him move away, and then suddenly he spins me around to face him. He devours my lips with his, pushing his tongue into my mouth heatedly. I can taste myself on him, making me moan and gasp as I force my tongue back against his.

Our mouths draw apart, both of us panting heavily. I quickly unbutton his pants and slide them down and he grabs a condom from his pocket as he steps out of his shoes. He leers at me as he hands it to me. I kneel down in front of him and gently roll the condom down on his hard cock with my mouth.

He moans loudly as I lick my tongue around his sheathed dick. I hum around his cock and bring him further into my mouth, enjoying his fullness. I move my lips up and down his shaft and begin to suck his cock forcefully. Brian kneads his fingers into my hair and I feel my own dick aching again; needing him to touch me and fuck me.

I draw back and stand up again. In a split second Brian’s lips cover mine with fervent need and then I hear the pop of a cap. He trails his hand down my back and ass, the cool lube soothes over my hole as he enters his finger inside of me. He trails kisses down my jaw and nuzzles his head into my neck. I tilt my head back and moan as he enters another finger inside me. I push my ass against his fingers and feel the ecstasy as they graze my prostate. I place my hand firmly on his ass, wanting to feel him. I trace my finger down his back and feel him shudder as he continues to finger fuck me. His firm cock presses against my belly and brushes against my own throbbing dick.

Slowly I trace my finger down his ass and circle a fingertip around his hole. He pulls back and watches me in fascination. I smirk at him then plug my finger into his warmth. Brian gasps as he leans his forehead onto mine, smiling as he whispers softly. “That was unexpected.”

“Yeah,” I drawl huskily, entering another finger inside him.

Brian cries out when my finger grazes his prostate. “Justin, I need to fuck you.”

I nod my head and remove my fingers. He gasps at the loss yet tilts his head in satisfaction when I hike my leg up his thigh. He pushes me against the support and lifts me slightly as he guides his cock inside my tight ass. I clutch onto his shoulder and I cry out in pleasure when he completely fills me. I feel my mouth begin to water when he kisses me again. He looks me deep in the eyes as he thrusts inside me. He grabs wantonly at both of my ass cheeks, squeezing them tightly as he brings me up and down his shaft. I groan, feeling the aching in my dick as it rubs against his taught stomach.

“God Brian, Fuck! Fuck me harder!” He pounds into me with all his might and smiles with satisfaction, then licks my lips and kisses me again with unbridled passion. I reach my hand down to my cock and begin stroking it. He looks down and watches my every movement.

Brian groans when my ass tightens around his shaft and I feel my body shake as his dick grazes the side of my prostate. I lurch my head back and cry out in ecstasy as my orgasm overtakes me. Brian’s body becomes rigid as he rides out his own orgasm. He says my name breathlessly when he cums and then kisses me again.

My body slumps into his and as our bodies part he holds me tight. “Fuck that was hot.”

I look up at him and smile as I caress his cheek gently and gaze into his hazel orbs. “Amazing.”

I blush slightly as he watches me get dressed. He puts his own jeans back on and snakes his arm around me. “You’re hot. You know that don’t you?”

I grin at him. “I am so in love with you Brian Kinney.”

He places both of his hands on my cheeks, staring deep into my eyes. There are so many emotions in him that I am unable to read. His eyes are misty as he opens his mouth to tell me something.

We both turn when we hear heavy footsteps coming our way. Brian is suddenly thrust away from me. I see him look at me in confusion “What the fuck?” He yells and tries to pull himself out of the perpetrator’s grasp.

I look at the man holding him and feel my lips quiver slightly. I can’t recall a time I have felt more helpless than I do now. “Dad?” Before I can stop it my dad hits Brian across the Jaw.

Brian yanks himself away from my dad and holds onto his jaw for a moment. I can see the anger and irritation rising in my lover eyes. He quickly grabs at my father’s shirt and pushes him up against a beam. “What the fuck is your problem?”

My Father has a crazed look in his eyes and I feel my confusion growing when I hear my father screaming at Brian. “You fucking pervert! You’re corrupting my son and your family. I’ve seen your family, Kinney. I can’t believe a fag and a dyke are fucking allowed to raise a child. You are sick. Not only do you prey on young men and corrupt them in to your perverse sick ways, you…you’re corrupting your own child! You fucking faggot! I saw you what you did to my son just now!” I feel my body begin to shake.

“You know nothing about me or my family.” Brian raises his brow mockingly. “If I understand you correctly you watched me fucking your son,” Brian spits at him. “You’re the fucking sick one if you sit and watch your own son have sex! How fucked is that?” Brian’s face is red with fury. He pushes my dad harder against the beam and then lets go and points to the pathway. “Get the hell out of here. You are not welcome here.”

My father stumbles away laughing wickedly as he points at Brian. “You’re dead Kinney! You’re all fucking dead!”

I feel my heart tighten as my tears begin to overtake me. Finally, I’m able to look at my father. “How could you do this?” I ask him desperately.

“I did nothing wrong, Justin.” He yells. “You’re the one who is sick. You and your disgusting life style. You’re coming back home with me now and we are going to take care of this. You are going to forget about...“ He points to Brian. “Him, and you are going to Dartmouth. You’re going to get your life together do you hear me?”

I feel my own anger pouring from me as I charge toward my father. I push him hard and He stumbles back. “No fucking way!” I scream. “I live here and I’m happy here. I am happy with Brian.”

I glance at Brian and he is seething with rage, but he walks up behind me and kisses me below the ear. He wraps his arms around me. “Get the fuck out of here,” he growls at my father.

We watch as my dad walks away and I’m afraid what I might do if I ever see him again. I try to be strong but I feel myself slowly collapsing into Brian’s arms.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I hear Brian calling my name and I am pulled out of my memory. I see the anguish in his own eyes and everything seems distorted around us. He engulfs me in a tight embrace and I feel him shaking. I pull back and look into his haunted hazel eyes. I caress his cheek. “I remembered,” I choke out.”

He smiles sadly and I can see the pain and sorrow in his eyes. “I know.” He takes hold of my hands and looks at me intensely. “After I died and I could still see you I was so fucking scared for your safety and sanity. When you placed your wrists on that blade I literally hurt with you. I tried to call to you.” He sucks in a breath. “I tried to make you stop, but there was nothing I could do. All I could think of when Daphne dragged you away was that moment we had together here in the Gazebo before you father came and interrupted us.” He pauses for a moment and squeezes my hands tightly. I’ve been drowning in so much guilt the last five years. I know now there were things I could have done to make things better. To prevent the disaster that fell upon us.”

I feel the tears forming in my eyes. “Brian, there was no way you could have known what my father was going to do. Christ, I didn‘t know and he was my dad.”

He closes his eyes tightly. “I knew something bad would happen. I hoped it wouldn’t but I felt it when I looked into the fire of his eyes.” He leans his forehead on mine. “But that’s not what I regret the most.”

I’m stunned by his confession. “Brian, you don’t believe in regrets.”

I feel his warm breath on my skin and his hands tremble. “I do now. I have for five years. If I could go back and do things differently I would have. I would have told you how I felt here in the Gazebo on our last day together. I remember looking deep into your soul and I knew I could trust you with those three words that I could never speak before. I was too afraid of who I was to give that to you.”

I reach my hands to his face and caress his cheek with my thumb. “I always knew how you felt about me, Brian. You never had to say it, and I knew that day what you wanted to tell me.”

He pulls me in tightly, kisses me deeply and then wraps his arms around my shoulders. He swallows hard and I can feel his warm breath against my ear. “I love you.”

My heart aches at his bittersweet words in my ear. Especially knowing that our time together may be short. I smile at him but I feel the sadness welling in my heart. “I love you too.”

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