The Grand Hotel

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Brian’s POV

I lie on the floor of my old living room and just allow myself to feel the pain. It’s been a long time since I felt actual, physical pain. I lick my swollen lip and wonder how Craig managed it.

“Come with me.”

I look up and see my mother, or at least a very good facsimile of her. “Why the fuck would I do that?” I spit out along with a mouthful of blood.

“Because I’m your mother,” says the woman with dead eyes.

I chuckle mirthlessly. “Sorry, you’ll have to do better than that.”

“Justin’s coming,” she replies, her flat monotone grating against my ears.

“What?” My heart grips in fear.

“He thinks he will defeat us,” she replies. “We are waiting for him. You will do him a favor if you come with me now.”

Fuck. I can’t take a chance that I’ll be the cause of Justin being hurt. I push myself slowly to my feet and follow the entity through the front door of the house. Surprisingly we are in the corridor of the hotel. I suck in a breath as she opens the door to a familiar room.

We move further into the suite and soon are standing in Gus’ room. My son is sitting at his small table, coloring. He is obviously oblivious to our presence. He is dressed in the suit that Justin picked out for him. I feel the bile rise in my throat when it dawns on me that it was the suit he was murdered in. I quiver in fear when I see his Batman costume draped over a chair and the bag of Halloween candy next to it. Oh God, it’s the night of the murders.

“No,” I say softly to myself.

“Yes,” my mother says as she turns to gaze at me. “See what your perverted ways did to your son.”

As she speaks the door opens and a figure dressed in black enters. “Who are you?” Gus asks as he stands from his table.

“No, Gus! Run!” I shout, recognizing the form of Craig Taylor.

“Quiet! He can’t see or hear you. You’ll miss the best part!” my mother hisses at me.

Craig seems surprised to see the boy. “Is your mommy here?” he asks my son in a kind tone, making my skin crawl.

“She had to go do something for the party. She and my daddies will be here soon to get me. We’re going to the big Halloween party. Are you friends with my mommy?”

“Oh, yes,” lies Craig easily. “I’m actually more a friend to Justin. Do you know Justin?”

“Yes. Justin is one of my daddies,” answers Gus with an innocence that breaks my heart.

Craig kneels down in front of Gus. “Well, I’m Justin’s daddy, so I guess that would make me your Grandpa.”

“I always wanted a Grandpa,” Gus smiles.

“Good, I’m glad,” answers Craig. “Gus, I bet your mommy would want you to take a little nap before the party.”

“She didn’t say so,” Gus looks petulant.

“Well, Grandpa says so. You need to be rested if you want to stay up late,” Craig smiles.

“Come on, I’ll tuck you in, Gus.” Craig stands up and takes Gus’ hand, leading him to his little bed.

I can’t take anymore and I turn away sobbing. “No,” I choke out. “Why are you doing this to me?”

My mother grabs the back of my neck and forcibly turns me around. “You watch, Brian. You watch and see what happens when you go against the laws of God. You brought this child into an unholy union and he was punished. This is your fault.”

“No,” I shake my head and sob as I watch Craig help my son into bed and then cover his face with a pillow. If I had a real body I would throw up when I see my little boy struggling for breath. “Gus…Gus…” is all I can say when his small body goes still.

Craig removes the pillow and turns coldly away from Gus. As he is leaving the room he passes by us and looks into my eyes with an evil grin. “Lindsay should be here soon.”

My mother’s grip on me tightens and it’s the only thing that’s keeping me on my feet at the moment.

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Justin's POV

I hear the door shut tightly behind me and then hear the clicking of the lock. The sounds echo around me and instantly I am afraid of what is to come. I take a deep breath and nervously look at Natalie and the other wolves around me.

Natalie smiles at me. “Justin, do not be afraid. You are not alone.”

I grin back weakly. “I know, you’re with me.”

The side of her mouth curls up showing her gums and sharp, white teeth. She gives me a canine smirk and then growls almost playfully. “No Justin, look behind you.”

When I turn around I am stunned to see the whole family following me.

I shake my head in shock. “No. You all have to go back. It’s not safe.”

Debbie pushes past everyone and grabs hold of my chin affectionately. “If for one second you think we are going to let you do this completely on your own, you are mistaken mister.” She smiles and then lightly pats my cheek. “We will be safer together. There will be spirits coming out when you’re going in, and we need to prevent them from getting too far.” She looks at me sternly and then smiles. “I love you kiddo and I know you’ll bring our boy back. And yourself too.”

Debbie pulls me into a hug and I feel the air trying to escape my lungs, but it feels good to feel a mother’s love again.

Climbing down the stairs, through the trap door I notice the candelabras are still blazing in Brian‘s bedroom. I stand at the edge of the bed and look over to the door; the door that will seal my fate. I have no idea what lies before me when I enter but I know I should be prepared for anything.

The others have followed me down into the room and I watch in wonder as Daphne and Dana begin to dance. I am rather confused as to why they would be dancing right now. Suddenly Debbie joins them and I watch them for a few moments, caught up in the unusual rhythm. I have never seen anything like it before; it is almost tribal in ascendant. They tip their toes on their right feet toward the ground, slamming the balls of their feet down onto their heels forcefully. They repeat the movement with their other foot as they move in a circle, swaying their arms and bodies with serpent like motions. They seem to be moving to a beat that only they can hear.

Then suddenly I hear the beat of tribal drums echoing around us. Daphne steps her foot down with vigor and I can feel the floor shake beneath me. She clicks her fingers and it sends vibrations through my soul. I gasp a breath as a light mist of pure energy forms around me and enters into my essence, sending pleasant chills through my spine, and refreshing my spirit. She smiles at me as she kicks up her foot and reaches her hands above her head. She touches her palms together and her fingers point upwards.

I am startled to hear the wolves begin to howl around me. I look to Natalie, who speaks softly, almost in a trance. “They are doing a spirit dance to ward off evil spirits and demons. They are casting a circle of white light around the room and sending positive love and energy to you. This dance was done in ancient tribes before warriors went out to battle. It’s meant to send positive energy to them and keep them strong in the face of their enemies. The Entities will still be able to penetrate through from time to time, but the room is more guarded now.

I let out a sigh of relief knowing my friends are not in harm’s way at the moment. I say a silent prayer and then hold my head high, looking to the wolves and then to my family. Mystically the lantern I’m holding flickers and a flame appears magically. I look over to Daphne who has her hand tilted in my direction, pointing her finger at the flame. “Parlor tricks,” she says sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders before she turns back to her dance.

I chuckle softly, thankful she was able to help me relax before my journey.

Natalie continues to speak. “Before we go into the mirror I need to prepare you for your entry. I look at her in confusion. “I thought we did that.”

“No.” She replies sadly. “There is more, but it had to wait until the last minute. The only way you can go in and return with Brian is if you go under your own free will. You can not be dragged or pulled in or you will be lost to us. Your father does not care how he gets you as long as he has you. We will not let that happen.” She looks over to her fellow wolves and they form a protective circle around me.

“How can I do that? Even Mel was almost dragged in.”

She nods her head in understanding. “Yes that was unfortunate but that was also the plan.”

I cock a brow as I reply sternly. “And who else is in this plan of yours? Lindsay, Gus, Debbie, Dana?”

Before I can continue my angry list of names, she lightly nips my hand. ”Justin, stop it! You need to focus now. The reason it was in the plan is at that moment she remembered the small compact mirror, which happens to be a key tool for you. If you feel you are getting dragged in, use it. You will need that mirror on this journey, but use it wisely because it can also work against you as well.”

I swallow hard. “How am I supposed to go through on my own?”

“Envision rose bushes surrounding your aura. The bushes must have long sharp thorns. Everything you imagine in your mind will actually appear in the spirit realm. This will prevent attacks temporarily through the mirror itself. After we enter you will have to stop the vision so the other wolves and I can walk close to you on your journey”

I nod my head in understanding. “What else do I need to know?”

I see a dark cloud cover her blue eyes. “Anything can happen, Justin. You will need to be on guard. Your worst fears will come to play out on you. When we enter the mirror we will be walking directly into the main portal of the hotel, which is the elevator shaft. When the elevator crashed it opened a floodgate that has been sealed shut for a long time. Now that it’s open the spirits are able to come and go more freely.”

I bite my thumbnail and then clear my throat as I speak brashly. “Well what the fuck are we waiting for? Let’s go.”

Closing my eyes I let the tribal drums infiltrate my sprit. I feel lightness around me as I envision the red rose bushes surrounding my aura. The branches stem above my head and below my feet with long sharp thorns protruding from the stems.

I open my eyes and hold up my lantern. Suddenly I am aware of my own inner spirit and understanding. With my mind’s eye, I open up a spiritual doorway. The front part of the room slowly vanishes revealing the full length mirror arched in gold. I draw the mirror closer to us.

I see Natalie smile and she lets out a sigh. “You’re back.”

My voice sounds husky in my ears. “What do you mean?” I am confused by her comment and also by my spiritual ability.

“Look into the room, Justin and you will get your answers.” I look around the room and I realize I am seeing into two separate realms coexisting as one. The room seems almost ghostly as there is an outside scene showing a forest and bonfire, it‘s flames leaping high into the sky. I can see men in loin cloths beating on drums. The women dance exactly how Daphne, Debbie and my sweet Dana are dancing. I smile as I recognize everyone from what I can only imagine to be a past life.

Natalie brushes her head under my palm and looks up at me. “We were your tribe. We would follow you and Brian anywhere. You guided us through the depths of hell and you lead us through part of heaven. It is now our turn to help the men who helped us. We have always been with you and now we are your guides. You and Brian have always belonged together and you have the strength from an eternity of lives with Brian.”

I know what she says is true when I feel the force inside me. Even so, I am still unaware of how my spiritual gifts work, I just know they do. Somehow I close the spiritual doorway I had just opened and turn back to Natalie. “ I don’t understand. You were my tribe, and now I’m back?” I shake my head in confusion.

She chuckles and points to the now closed doorway. “Even now, my son, you are protecting the ones you love without knowing it. Your spiritual gifts are strong. When our tribe went to war it was ugly and very brutal. We lost many men and women. The ones who survived owed their lives to you and Brian. You sacrificed yourselves for the safety of the remaining men and women of our tribe.”

I swallow as visions of the past flood through me and I remember it like it was yesterday. I look to her with compassion in my heart. “You were my mother, weren’t you?”

She smiles and touches her paw against my hand. “Yes Justin, I was your mother then and I still am, in spirit. Many of your friends that are here in this room were with you in that life as well.” I listen intently to her every word. “When we die there are so many choices. Some of us decided to live within the afterlife, others like myself and many of the tribe choose to be guardians and we protect the ones we love who have chosen another path. We watch over the ones who chose to be reborn; reincarnated in to a new life, or we choose to come back and protect the one we love who are still living.”

Suddenly I feel completely confident. I reach down and stroke Natalie’s, or my mother’s actually, smooth fur on her head. She lets out a contented whine as she pushes against my hand. “I’m ready,” I tell her softly. She simply nods in return. Mentally, I reopen the doorway and then I look to the wolves and we begin to walk towards the mirror.

A gray mist rolls into the room and the mirror draws even closer and then stops five feet away from me. I walk toward the mirror with the wolves walking near, yet at a distance.

A few wolves enter first and I see translucent forms charge out of the shining glass right toward me. I feel one of them try to grab for me, but I sway as the bushes around me grow taller. The creature cries out in pain and screeches back. Droplets of blood splatter on my arm and I smile knowing the thorns are helping.

A few more wolves enter the rippling glass and it parts like water. Each time something enters and parts from its vortex more spirits come out and I hear them squeal as they are forced back inside. Finally I come face to face with the mirror and the glass seems to shift. I am no longer looking into my reflection but an identical replica of the elevator before it fell last night.

I take a deep breath and step forward.

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Brian’s POV

Craig has moved into the other room to hide presumably, and my mother holds me firm where we are standing. My every instinct is screaming at me to go to my son, but I know there is no point. This is all just a vision and he has already passed on. It doesn’t lessen the pain of what I just witnessed though.

My heart drops again when the outer door opens and I hear Lindsay calling to Gus. “I’m back, sweetie,” comes her voice through the door. “You need to get ready to go. Your daddies will be here soon to get us.”

Lindsay pushes Gus’ door open. “Gus, what are you doing in…” she trails off when she gets a good look at him. “Oh, God! Gus!” She hurries to the bed. “No! Not my baby! Oh, God, what happened?” She is sobbing now as she pulls him onto the floor and tries to do CPR.

After a few moments she picks up his lifeless form. “I have to call for help! I have to save him!” She struggles to stand up in the long skirts of her costume, keeping Gus clutched tightly to her bosom. “Oh God, oh God,” she is chanting and the tears stream endlessly down her face.

As she races through the door into her sitting room and the telephone, my mother pushes me firmly through the wall. “Come witness your friend’s punishment for disobeying the Bible and producing demon spawn.”

“Please stop this,” I whisper. “Please.”

“I won’t stop until I have Justin,” my mother leans close and whispers into my ear with Craig’s voice.

“But you said if I…” I start to protest.

“Watch!” is all she says and once again I am held in place and forced to watch as more of the horror of that night unravels.

My attention is drawn back to the scene where Lindsay is frantically trying to call 911.

“Fuck!” she cries out. “It’s dead! The fucking phone is dead!” She races across the room to the hallway door. Suddenly Craig’s dark figure looms behind her and he grabs her by the hair.

Lindsay’s scream echoes through the room and I’m sure my own matches as Craig brings the large hunting knife around and slashes it across her throat. I sob as I see the terror in her eyes and then the light of them simply fades out as she slides to the floor in a boneless heap, still holding our son tightly in her arms.

I fall to my knees, unable to support myself any longer. This is the scene Justin and I walked in on that night. I never really knew all the details of what happened to my son and his mother and I still wish I didn’t.

Craig turns to me once again and speaks with the same evil smile. “I think you’re next, Kinney. It will be a real pleasure to kill you again.”

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Justin’s POV

As I step through I feel the cool chill of the mirror’s malice surrounding my body. Holding up the lantern I can see the darkness clearly around me as spirits dance through the shadows. I try to not let fear get the best of me. Suddenly I begin to breathe rhythmically and envision a white energy of light glowing through me with each breath.

I can hear Natalie’s soft voice. “Justin, the way you are breathing is centering your spirit. When you feel stable and we are all in the mirror get rid of the bushes of protection. They will no longer be of any use.”

I nod my head and then feel my heart clinch within my chest when I realize I am now completely in the mirror and standing within my own nightmare of the elevator. I am unable to see any images like I did earlier, but I hear the pain of my own cries.

Looking down I see a trail of smeared blood across the door way. I try to walk forward, but am stopped by an invisible wall, which I slam into with my face. I moan in pain and rub my nose, wondering how the fuck a wall got there.

Natalie barks at me. “I put it there. Remember, everything you envision comes true and is able to be felt or seen by anyone around you. It can work for or against you. Almost everything you see here will be a trap. Do not follow that blood. It will lead you directly to your father. He thinks he’s the one in control here, but he‘s not; you are.”

I jerk my head up and raise my brow. “Is that not why we are here? To find my father?”

“Yes but not his way. We find him on your terms and your terms only.”

I swallow hard. “And Brain; when do we find him?’

She smiles. “I am trying to seek his spirit now.”

A rush of wind blows toward us and I can feel the pack of wolves draw in closer to me. I stifle a breath of air as I can feel my father’s presence coming near. I close my eyes, envisioning us outside, where there is more room to move and not be as easily trapped.

Natalie licks my palm in approval. I can hear the sound of bats swarming overhead and my father’s presence is even stronger. Opening up my eyes I look up and recognize my father’s energy within the bats themselves.

They begin to dive down at us and I close my eyes. I see them within my mind’s eye and can feel the heat of the lantern rising to my fingers. Their wings are instantly singed with fire when I imagine the hot glow from the lantern brushing their wings in flames. The creatures screech in pain and I look up to see them fall to the ground. The image of my father’s spirit lies there motionlessly for a moment and then he vanishes. His wicked laugh pierces through the darkness yet I can hear a tinge of a pain in his voice as well.

I look up at the full moon and feel wonder at how everything seems so real, yet none of it is really here. I notice a translucent glare as though I am literally seeing everything from the vision of a mirror itself.

Natalie seems to be aware of my every thought and speaks sensitively to answer my questions in a way that won’t frighten me. “The glare is there to remind you we are in the mirror. Do not lose focus of that small detail. Keep your eyes on the glare if you no longer see it, then you have gotten caught within the glass itself. If that happens you will not be able to leave unless are granted permission from the dark entities that dwell within this façade.”

I grimace. “You keep scaring me.”

“Good, because you need to be scared within reason, but do not let it overtake you.” I smile to her obliquely for a moment and then pat her head. She brushes her nose against my arm and I can feel the love she has for me. I look to the rest of the pack and I can see the admiration in their eyes as well. I am taken aback at being looked upon so fondly and I can see that the bond we all have does stem from lifetimes ago. I can feel that I have a mutual respect for all of them as well, yet it seems so new.

I take in our surroundings once again and I notice we are outside of the hotel. We begin to walk closer as a unit. I see red and blue lights flickering and the sound of an alarm is buzzing through the night air. A disturbing chill crawls up my spine. I’m not sure why, but I begin to run like I’m trying to save myself, yet nothing is chasing me or pulling me forward.

“Justin Stop!”

I turn to Natalie. “Why?”

“Do you really want to see? I know you are drawn for a reason, but do you really want to see why? Your father is nearby watching, ready to attack at any moment. If you want to move in this direction to see what the lights and alarm are about we cannot stop you. Just know he is close, and so are we.”

I suddenly feel panicked. “What is it I will see?’

“Your death, Justin. You will see what happened after Daphne pulled you from the elevator.”

I feel the tears well in my eyes. “That’s not all I will see is it?”

She shakes her head no and her white fur glistens sliver in the moonlight.

I begin to walk forward as the pack draws in closer to me. Everything around us seems to be getting darker. The small light in the lantern is not much of a match for the deep hallow that is engulfing us. The skeletal trees seem to branch out as if trying to reach us.

I hold up the lantern and try to see through the darkness. The moon is gone and all I can see are red eyes glaring at us from all around and growling that pierces through the silence.

The alarm is gone and the flickers of lights have since vanished. I am startled when I feel a sharp pain on my ankle. It feels as though rough bark in strangling my ankle and then it travels up my legs, until I am unable to move. I look to the trees that have demonic smirks crossing their bark covered faces. They laugh at me and their teeth are jagged, crumpled wood. I then feel branches scratching at my arms and prickly sharp objects under my feet.

The wolves begin to howl painfully and I cry out in anguish as my own hurt overtakes me. I try to focus my thoughts but they keep straying. Then I can hear Brian screaming and it aches within the depths of my soul. I yell out to him. “Brian, Brian!” I begin to lose all thoughts and focus of the reality I am in. All I can think of is the pain I know Brian is in

A cold chill shoots through my eyes and I am absolutely terrified when suddenly the gleam is gone and I feel lost within my own insecurities. Everything around me seems to be dying. The wolves’ barking becomes silent, but I can hear Natalie very weakly. “Justin we are dying. You need to come back. We are trying to take the worst of the pain so you cannot feel it, but you’re drawing into yourself and weakening your own resolve. Look with your soul and find your light. The gleam is within you. Use your thoughts and banish this mother fucker of a plant.”

I shake my head, trying to comprehend, but nothing is making sense. All I know is I have to get out. Then suddenly I remember the dagger within my belt. I reach for it and hack viciously around the tree that is trapping me and my guides within it‘s clutches.

The smell of my father’s cologne seeps through the sap of the chopped trees. I become angrier as I chop ruthlessly and scream out a warrior cry. I look over to Natalie and I can feel myself seething beyond my own comprehension, yet the glare of the glass is returning to me and I am aware of everything around me.

My anxiety softens when I see my mother in spirit in pain and gasping for breath. Blood trickles down her neck and when I try to reach for her to sooth her pain she growls at me.

“I’m fine;” she says coolly, “watch your back. Justin, we are here for you, not the other way around. Don’t forget that!”

I nod my head in understanding and then turn around. I can see the red and blue light flickering once again as the alarm pierces the air. I am confused at how everything happened so fast. I am getting out of my father’s traps, but I am not defeating him. I walk more causally toward the lights, trying to comprehend everything.

As I draw closer everything seems so familiar and I begin to remember more about the night of the murders as it plays out in front of me. I feel a lump in my throat when I see Daphne. She is standing at the bottom of the steps looking at the mass of confusion around her. The EMT’S hoist my limp and bleeding body onto a gurney. I notice her protruding belly and my heart sinks knowing the fate of our child. I look closer and see she is covered in blood; my blood.

She holds her hand to her face and my emotions go out to her as she sobs uncontrollably “God No!” She cry’s out to the heavens. “Don’t let him die. Please, he’s the only one I have.”

I am taken aback when I see my own spirit standing next to her. She turns to my spirit. “No Justin. No, you have to go back. You have to go back.” I watch as my spirit shakes his head no. “Justin, please, for our child. Please, she needs a father. Please, please Justin, she needs you and I need you,” she whimpers in desperation

Her distraught voice sinks into me and I feel my own emotions trying to take over. I watch as my spirit gently caresses Daphne’s face. “I never did this to hurt you, Daphne. I needed to be with Brian. That’s all I could think of.” My spirit begins to cry out in agony. “Daphne, don’t you understand? I can’t live without him. He is dead and it’s from my father’s hand. I can’t l…I Fuck! I can’t live without him.”

“And I can’t live without you, “she screams out in pain.

My spirit reaches out to her and holds her close. The whisper floats through the wind. “Daphne, oh God, I’m so sorry. I am so selfish. I love you and our baby so much. I’ll come back only for you. You and Dana are the only reasons I would even want to live.”

Daphne screams when my spirit is suddenly dragged away from her. I gasp watching the scene play out before me. How could I have not remembered this? Tears swell in my eyes when I see the darkness loom over Daphne and my spirit. I can hear my father’s wicked laugh. Through the darkness there is a low growl and blue glowing eyes charge out of the darkness. They attack my father, grasping my spirit from his clutches and thrusting me back into my body. I hear myself gasp for breath and wheeze.

And suddenly I feel at peace, pushing away any impure thoughts. I walk closer and see the paramedics working on trying to stabilize me the best they can. I look over their shoulders and all I can see is blood. Then suddenly an ambulance door slams in my face.

I close my eyes wanting to see what happens next. I feel the wolves draw in close and a cool crispness caresses my skin. I open my eyes and I am standing in a hospital room, the sound of sobbing echoing around me. I quickly take notice of the date on the board; November second. I walk cautiously towards the bed where my pale body lies. There are IV’s connected to my upper arm feeding blood in to my veins. I proceed to move closer noticing my wrists are no longer covered, but stitched cleanly. My wrists look raw and sore.

The sobbing continues to echo through my ears and then I see Daphne. She looks so broken and tired. She holds on tightly to one of my hands and then holds it to her face. She is so incoherent that I can tell she’s not even thinking clearly.

Her voice cracks and she sounds so frail and weak. “We lost her Justin. Oh my God, we lost her. I know you’re in a coma and they told me not to tell you.” She begins to kiss my hand and I watch the scene, in awe of how much she loves me, and how much it hurt her that I wasn’t there for her. It doesn’t make sense to me. Why would I forget? How could I forget all of this? “You’re her father and they didn’t want you to know. God, you were her father. You have a right to know. She’s dead. Our Dana is dead.” Her cries rip deep into my soul. “Justin I love you. Please come back. I need you more now than ever before. Please, please come back to me.”

I watch as a nurse barges into the room glaring at Daphne. “Young lady, get a hold of yourself. Do not disturb my patient with such things.” It’s only when the nurse rolls her away that I notice Daphne is in a wheelchair and hospital gown.

I try to hold back my own tears. Natalie brushes against my arm and her soft fur sends warmth through my spirit. She gives me a canine smile and then rests her paw upon my leg speaking gently. “Justin I’m so sorry you are seeing this, but in some ways it is important for you know why things happened as they did.” I nod my head. “Take hold of your hand.” I look at her in confusion. “Go to the bed and take hold of that Justin’s hand and you will get more answers.”

I smile down at her through misted eyes, blushing at my misunderstanding. Carefully, I reach for my hand and it is cool in my warm hand. This whole experience is odd but I know Natalie and the other wolves are with me, to protect and help me on this journey.

I am taken by surprise when I hear my own voice and flashes of memories flood into my mind from the past. “No!” I hear my other self scream in anguish. “God No! No, no, not my baby and my Brian. Oh God! And Gus and Lindsay. How could my father do this to us? To my family?”

I feel the depth of loneliness in my other spirit as I try to reach out to my best friend. “Where the fuck is Daphne? Where is Daphne?!” I try to find her but I can’t see why can’t I see? I can’t feel. She’s gone. Oh no, she’s gone. Everyone is gone.

I feel my whole body begin to break, literally, as I try to lock up the memories. I block out the pain and make myself forget. I can’t live knowing what has happened. I can’t live knowing that everyone’s blood is on my hands. I can’t bear knowing that my own father murdered everyone I love, or had some form of hand on my loved ones and my unborn child.

Suddenly I see myself in my mother’s home. My memories have not yet faded fully and they haunt my waking hours. I have since seen Daphne, but I can’t bear the pain in her eyes, knowing that she may blame me. Everything seems to be in a haze and I know I can’t live like this. I walk to the kitchen, taking hold of a knife, and I know I have to be with them. I need to be with my lover and my baby.

Suddenly the knife is ripped from my hands and I look into my mother’s hurt eyes. I feel my spirit crumbling and the voice within my mind becoming silent and then suddenly there is nothing at all. No screams, no chaos, no memories. Everything is just silent.

I see my mind travel into another hospital and I can feel the physical and mental violation that takes place to my body there. I feel I deserve the pain, yet I don’t understand why I have these feelings. My forgotten memories gnaw at my subconscious, eating at me and I know that every pain, every torment is sanctifying my soul. I need to feel that pain, so I know I can still feel at all.

I know my spirit is regenerating because in the darkness I can hear an angel singing to me.

I look down at my body, lying in the hospital bed at the mental institution and I gasp. Everything makes sense now.

I look to Natalie and she smiles, then whispers. “I found your angel Justin. Now it’s your turn to help him. Close your eyes.”

I feel a rush of cold wind against my skin as we travel. Then I feel the pain and anguish of my lover the night I tried to kill myself after his own murder. I realize now how helpless he must have felt.

Brian utters my name and then I feel his tears caress my skin. I open my eyes and look up in to his hazel orbs, thankful to be reunited with him again.

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Brian’s POV

My face is buried in my hands as I remain on the floor, unable to find the strength to go on. All too soon I feel the sharp talons of my mother’s nails dig into my scalp as she pulls me to my feet. “I hear someone coming,” she says softly. “Who can it be?”

“Linds!” I gasp as I hear my own voice through the door. Someone knocks and I hear myself yell again. “Come on, you two. We need to go!”

“Maybe they went down already,” I hear Justin’s voice and it breaks my heart.

“No, I just spoke to her. We’re supposed to meet them here. I’ll use my key.”

The door opens and I close my eyes. I don’t need a reminder of this part. It replays in my memory every day. Justin’s cries of horror and my own scream that is torn raggedly from my throat live on in my ears to this day. Justin tries the phone to call for help, but it doesn’t work. I tell him to stay with them as I run to the corridor to find help that way even though in my heart I know we are too late.

When I open my eyes again I know that the entity has drug me through yet another wall and we are in the hallway. I see myself knocking on doors to no avail. I know all of the guests are down at the party. I run toward the end of the hall where the stairs are and then the figure jumps out at me. “You took my son, you fucking pervert!” yells Craig as he slams the knife into my stomach.

“Brian?” Justin heard Craig’s scream and comes out of Lindsay’s room. “Brian!” he yells as he runs toward us.

Craig turns toward his son and Justin stops short. “Dad?” he says with a mixture of confusion and horror. He looks down to the bloody knife that has just been pulled out of my gut. “Why?” he asks desperately. “Why?”

“You’re coming with me Justin. You are not staying one more minute with these depraved people. I saved you from them. I had to save your soul.”

While Craig is ranting Justin looks over his shoulder to me. Our eyes meet and I clutch my stomach as I lean back against the wall. “Run.” I mouth to him.

“No,” he mouths back and then he runs at his father. “Get in the elevator, Brian!” he shouts at me as he grabs Craig’s arm that is still holding the knife. “Get yourself down to the lobby and get help!” he grunts as Craig tries to overpower him.

I know I can’t help him so I do what he asks. I slowly make my way over to the elevator and press the call button. When it arrives it’s all I can do to raise the gate and get inside. I slump down onto the bench, but I don’t press the lobby button. I won’t leave Justin alone.

Justin takes his attention off his struggle for a moment and cries out to me. “Dammit,

Brian, go! You’re bleeding! Just go!”

“I won’t leave you,” I say weakly.

Craig takes the opportunity to pin Justin on the ground. He holds the knife over his son’s heart. “I don’t want to kill you, son,” he says breathlessly. “But I won’t have a gay son. Renounce your ways and come back to us.”

“Justin, no!” I call out weakly.

Justin looks at his father. “No,” is all he says. Craig pulls back his arm and starts to bring the knife down to its target.

He looks into Justin’s eyes and stops suddenly. “I can’t,” he whispers and pushes himself off of Justin and stands up.

I see Justin stand as well and then look to me. He then glances down the hall where Gus and Lindsay’s bodies lay. “I can,” he replies to his father as he quickly grabs the knife from the surprised man and plunges it into Craig’s chest. “That’s for my family,” he says, pulling the man in close.

He pushes Craig's body back and it tumbles to the ground. Still holding the knife, he turns and runs to me in the elevator. He lowers the gate and pushes the button for the Lobby. I feel myself weaken and I start to slump forward. Justin catches me and lays me gently on the floor. “It’s okay, Brian, hang on. I’ll get you some help.”

He tosses the knife down and presses his hands to my stomach, causing a wave of pain to overtake me. I watch in awe as my lover bends over me, begging for me to live. I watch myself open my eyes and whisper to him. “I don’t think I can stay, Sunshine. Take care of yourself and Daphne.” I see myself cough and I can still feel the warm, metallic taste of blood in my mouth. “Make sure your baby knows about me. I love you, Sunsh…” I trail off, unable to speak more.”

Justin falls apart and is now sobbing, his hands still pressed to my wound. “No, I won’t let you die! I won’t let you go, Brian!”

I observe the scene with a lump in my throat as my eyes open one last time and it takes all the strength I have to raise my hand and cup Justin’s cheek. I remember wanting so badly to touch my lover just one more time. As I exhale my last breath Justin dissolves into tears on my chest.

It is only then that I realize the form of my mother has disappeared and I am in the elevator alone, watching this scene unfold. I know what Justin is going to do, and as much as I want to, I cannot turn away as my morbid curiosity gets the better of me.

My lover pushes himself off my chest and runs a bloody hand through my hair. “I’m so sorry, Brian,” he cries. “It’s all my fault.”

“No!” I yell, but I know he cannot hear me.

Justin picks up the knife and all I can do is stand and stare as he braces it between his legs and runs his wrists up it. Thank God he didn’t know the correct way to do it. My lover stares down at his bleeding wounds and then slowly slumps over to his side, ready to join me in death.

“Justin,” is all I can utter as I fall to my knees, letting my tears fall on his beautiful face. Suddenly he opens his eyes and moves to sit up. “Justin?” I look deep into his eyes and I see the spark that is Justin inside the sapphire gaze.

“It’s me,” he smiles as he traces his fingers along my swollen lip. He is no longer covered in blood and he is wearing the clothes he wore earlier today. There is also an odd necklace around his neck that is glowing in the dim light of the elevator. He stands and pulls me up with him. When I glance at the floor again I see that my body and all evidence of the grisly scene is now gone. Justin pulls me into his arms tightly. “I was so scared for you. I‘m so happy you‘re all right.”

“But, how…?”

“Follow me.” He pushes me away a bit. “There’s not much time,” he says as he takes my hand, and helps support my battered body. “They’re waiting to get you out.”

“Are you all right?” I ask, still in awe that he is here with me now. “Craig said that you…”

He stops for a moment and turns to kiss me. When he pulls away he speaks softly. “Shh, I’ll be fine. Now, hurry.” We leave the elevator and I follow him down the corridor.

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